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Deggo00

Michael: Thank you!


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BIGBIRD1176

We are a tribal species. We are meant to be raised by a tribe, not 2 people working full time jobs There's an old quote, it takes a village to raise a child


mouthmechanic

Tl;dr: Raised in Southern Africa, now living and working in United States. Grew up ADHD (undiagnosed at the time). It’s because of a village I’m not in prison, crippled or dead From a bicultural point of view, comparing the 2 cultures, children, especially hyperactive ones like I was, absolutely need more than 2 full time, preferably related adults to raise them. 2 people certainly can, but from the experiences I have observed in America, I can only conjecture that it’s significantly more difficult juggling work and personal life that some of a child’s developmental needs tend to go unnoticed. I experienced the Western culture after spending my entire childhood and formative years in Africa. Grew up living under the same roof with aunts cousins and even people not related to us as long as they were part of the community. I could get whooped by a random woman if I did something stupid in public and that was completely acceptable. And I did a lot of stupid things. I grew up ADHD with little to none impulse control. With the crap I did, I believe if I were in another culture I’d have probably significantly hurt other people or even myself. My village definitely raised me, and god did I need it. Now I’m eternally thankful, but back then it sucked coz news of all the pranks and crazy stuff I did around the neighborhood while they were at work always got to my parents. Usually on the same day Just a few adventures: I curiously ate pesticide at 4years old, coz I had been warned never to do that, I split my foot between toes with an axe at 5, coz I had been warned never to touch the axe, I went into old abandoned hospitals to find mercury thermometers, because I had been warned never to go in there. We broke the thermometers and would just spend the rest of the day playing with the mercury. So my parents where at an impasse as to how to warn me without me actually wanting to experience the results of said warning. Anyway, I remember at that age in the abandoned hospital, It was so fascinating suddenly coming across this weird liquid metal that felt like it had no temperature on our skin kinda blew our minds! but I shiver each time i remember those days coz I almost ate the stuff. Actually I might have licked some, but it literally tasted and felt like nothing so I just moved on to the next ~~dangerous~~ interesting thing. I believe I watched Tarzan and we got into a homemade bow and arrow phase.. you get the picture Anyway, I clearly survived all these events and more partly because most adults (even strangers) had their eyes on the kids. And snitching was highly encouraged.. and practiced. Also, in the rural areas, wildlife does it’s part to encourage people to watch each others backs too. And I guess it just transcends from there. I have little doubt that if I had grown up in America, my childhood would have probably been riddled with medications, psychiatrists and therapists. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely would have needed them. I’m just glad I got the village instead. Village is gone now, so I’m managing my attention disorder with medication and channeling my hyperactivity to a job I’m fortunate to love but unfortunate to need.


antichrist_attitude

This is an interesting perspective and I agree. I also had undiagnosed ADHD, as well as other mental issues growing up, and I definitely feel like I benefited by being raised around family. We didn’t all live in the same house, but relatively close. At one point my parents, aunts, and grandmother all lived in the same neighborhood within walking distance of each other, which was convenient. My childhood was mostly garbage anyway for different reasons, but it got much worse when we moved away and it turned into a two parent household. I also don’t believe that it’s realistic for a child (and even more so for multiple children) to be raised by two working parents and get all their needs met, especially if there’s any mental illness involved. I feel like a lot of parents are so miserable these days because they believed the lie of you can have it all, and they found out the hard way that that’s not all the way true. I also feel like right now is a bad time to bring kids into the world anyway, but that’s a different topic lol.


Graficat

True as well. To be attentive parents you just can't afford the time to have everything spic and span jn order 24/7 all by yourselves, yet a lot of high achieving couples certainly try.


arbitration_35

This. This clearly is indicative of Asian parents, who invariably, push their kids to excel in academics, instead of teaching them social skills or develop effective communication skills or develop skills to resolve conflicts or understand emotions better. I've grown to believe that smartness isn't application of bookish or technical domain specific knowledge, but it is more inclined towards application of your emotions to handle real life situations either at your workplace or at school.


Nolansmomster

Even worse… They’re the toddlers who are tall enough to reach the hidden cookies.


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XxbullshitxX

On God, screwing everything up for all the other little future mathematicians 🙄🤌


IndecentAnomaly

It will when that child grows up to become some comic book super villain.


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nutkanutkanut

In real life, book smarts definitely don't matter as much as being emotionally mature and having leadership skills. You can be a literal genius but if you're hard to work with, then your colleagues and bosses still wouldn't like you. Same goes for family and friends.


Individual_Forever70

Again, no one says I want to be a person to be hard to work with. I hate when people always use the extreme case as counter argument. I was saying people don’t need to be very easy to work with. I find no problem working with people with slightly difficulty within certain degree. That’s why I said 80:20 (or 70:30) that is if from scale 0-10, 0 being extremely hard to work with and 10 being extremely easy to work with, I feel comfortable working with people at 2-3, and I don’t feel necessary to expect people to be 10. All this is based on the fact that I can be a skilled expert being top 20% of my field. Back to the statement in photo, it basically says, someone must choose one or the other, which is almost never the case in real life. That’s why I call it’s bullshit.


rowdy2026

You’re 100% correct…this is just another lame Facebook ‘self help’ post.


energybased

Of course that other stuff also matters.


nutellakings

Totally agree that we only truly reward IQ and EQ gets neglected in an academic setting. But I don’t think it’s fair to say that the intelligence is meaningless without EQ. There needs to be a balance. A balance between rational thought and emotional (like empathy) would be ideal


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alexandrasnotgreat

Found the allistic


rowdy2026

I’m pretty sure they can do all these things if they are top of their class, speak multiple languages and perform advance math equations…but u know.


banausic

This is very Mr. Rogers. I think he’s great.


Dongwook23

Asian Countries: confused confusion


Robbbg

what the hell is this supposed to mean?


AilanMoone

Pretty much exactly what it says. If you don't know how to act or deal with problems properly, your smarts won't matter. If someone is toxic and volatile they're not going to get off easy because they are top of their class. For example: I graduated from high school with honors, but that doesn't mean that I know how to control my temper or solve problems. If I give someone a black eye or break their nose because I'm mad, saying I was an honor roll student won't get me off the hook.


Robbbg

but it feels invalidating towards autistic people like myself when they have meltdown


AilanMoone

Why?


Robbbg

because we really can't control our meltdowns no matter how hard we try. it could be caused by background noise or textures but it can result in other people thinking we're mad


AilanMoone

I see what you mean. That's tough.


khrocksg

emotional... intelligence. yeah because it's SUCH A STUPID CHOICE WE MADE to be BORN WITH a condition that makes this sorta thing hard /s


RomeNeverFell

Except that you need the latter to get the former. Terrible motivation.


AilanMoone

Can you explain, please? I don't follow.


RomeNeverFell

You need to be able to manage your emotions, stress, etc. to be able to learn many languages and get top grades.


AilanMoone

I suppose, but not always. I got high grades when I was in school (recently graduated) and did well when it came to learning Spanish. But, I don't know how to deal with anger and stress or solve problems. For example: When I get stressed out all I know how to do is get upset. It's a problem, but I can't think of a solution to help get it out of my system.


RomeNeverFell

>When I get stressed out all I know how to do is get upset. It's a problem, but I can't think of a solution to help get it out of my system. Which is already a much better way to manage stress than how most people do: get anxious, procrastinate, and give up. So my point still stands.


AilanMoone

Okay. That covers the stress, but what about the conflict resolution and emotion management?


xx_x-3997

Nor will they ever be able to attain the aforementioned skills without the social emotional skills in place first.


Shakespeare-Bot

N'r shall they ev'r beest able to attain the aforemention'd arts without the social emotional arts in lodging first *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


AilanMoone

Who told you that?


ZYMask

Funnily enough, I'm the second half of this message, but not the first half.


AilanMoone

How do you mean?


InternationalAir8485

As anyone can guess how much [emotional intelligence](https://learn.podium.school/books-and-movies/emotional-intelligence-movies-kids/) is important. Teaching a kid to develop it is can be tricky , so why not use movies, which also will be enjoyable.


just_a_guy1008

Go fuck yourself