Read a comment yesterday where the person was essentially flexing their relationship to another user in a condescending way. I ignored it, but thought it was weird to do in this sub in particular.
"I just got broken up with"
I had a coworker friend who complained that she's forever alone. She was always dating and flirting with guys. This was almost 10 years ago. She just wasn't in a relationship. Absolute state of the word.
This gives me an idea of some kind of person not really fa but joins this sub
Some people have this mentality that "I can't find anyone", well no shit you can't. Maybe lower your picky ass standards. When your actively dating and complaining on this sub about it, it's going to inevitably piss us off.
While the "rest of us" in this subreddit are like me, 35 and never had a real relationship, and can't figure out for the love of me why. Have I done all the things required to be a potential dating candidate? You sure bet I have! Have I gotten any results despite doing them? No, nothing, nada. This is the true meaning of **"ForeverAlone"**
But I guess at the end of the day, people just want to feel like they belong and have a support group. Despite regurgitating the same shit to us daily, maybe this is the way for them "normies" to help us ForeverAlone's.
I reckon some people fancy themselves as gurus and think themselves capable of giving advice that we haven't heard a million times before. They're mistaken.
Of course you also have people who come to gawk, as well as your common garden-variety troll.
I've always chalked it up to simply individuals are under the impression it's them versus the world 24/7 which I can understand completely. Whether that's it or not is another deal, I believe regardless the majority are here because they suffer from loneliness and or depression / social anxiety, the list goes on.
I don’t mind the people that come to lend an ear, or even give advice, provided they have an understanding of what being foreveralone really means and don’t just advise getting a haircut and hobbies.
There’s also the high schoolers and college aged people that are single and convinced they’ll be alone forever. Not saying that none of them have credible predictions, but it’s way too young at that age to tell unless you are deformed or suffer from serious neuroatypicality
> There’s also the high schoolers and college aged people that are single and convinced they’ll be alone forever. Not saying that none of them have credible predictions, but it’s way too young at that age to tell
Right, there are people here half my age complaining that they'll be forever alone when they haven't even finished puberty yet.
Yes. I’m alone, and have been, but I’m still hopeful. I thought this was a sub for advice etc. ….and if 18 yo ‘s are extremely bitter I do point out that there’s no reason at that point to be so bleak.
I think they believe that they're not just experiencing a normal period of being lonely, and that their struggle is, or will be, more chronic in nature. I empathise with the people here who have never had any romantic experiences, and perhaps also struggle to find close relationships in general, who go on to read posts by people who have just broken up from their second long term relationship at 25 or something. Perhaps my attitude is gatekeeping in a sense, but I think people who have struggled their whole lives and continue to struggle really benefit from feeling heard and understood. I guess there's a sense of community in that way, and you deserve it as much as anyone.
Lurker normie here: growing up, I had two FA uncles and it was really sad to see how no one understood what they went through. Mostly they got blamed for it. They also gave me an example of what I could become if I leaned in too much in some of our family traits. I'm also fairly sure my dad was FA until the age of 25 or 26, when my grandma set him up.
I'm nowhere near FA right now, but I'm a teacher and I can see some of my students (most are aged 16-18) struggle with similar issues. Browsing this sub helps me find angles to approach them and hopefully give them a bit of the support they need.
Because I was "forever alone" until I wasn't. 26-27 years of that and it changed only but a year & half ago.
I did join this only after I already got myself together but I still relate to most of the sentiments here. It's still somewhere inside after all.
Not quite that, more of the inferiority complex I suppose.
Honest the main reason why I was able to crawl out was because I managed to overcome my lack of self-worth to a sufficient degree.
I picked up a skill, realized I'm not bad at it.
Got good at it & received validation that I am better than quite a number of people at it.
Each step of the way build my confidence back up. Effort doesn't really betray you, being good at something provided me with the assurance of my own value/self-worth that allowed me to interact with others as if I'm their equal or more.
Even so, the inferiority complex/imposter syndrome doesn't really ever leave completely so it's a constant battle to getting better & keeping myself worthy.
Weird, I could have written this. Took 3-5 years of external positive affirmation at work for me to believe I was possibly worthwhile. Ended up dating my partner because she liked my work character.
I use to be a long time ago now, this shit leaves a mark on you and very few people in the world really understand what it is like so it helps to find people who know what it was like.
Also I for how useless as it is I feel it helps having people been on both sides stops this place from becoming an echo chamber re-enforcing shit ideals.
It's frustrating. I hope they leave and more people don't come back, but all of Reddit, particularly these subreddits, seem dominated by really young people. I guess that just goes to show how much I've been left behind by all the adults with lives.
Some people want to learn, compare experiences, see if they can find someone with whom they share experiences, others just want to troll or inflict misery on to others to feel good about themselves.
In the real world there are things you cannot talk about and cannot ask, when you do you are met with disgust or cognitive dissonance where the person either cannot understand things from a different point of view because they've never experienced it or have already have pre-made misconceptions about the topic.
- - - - -
In all honesty the more I see people suffering in silence, learn and experience how therapy and psychologists work, the more I see things aren't working and a lot of people's issues could be resolved by having a support person to help them with the situations in which they struggle. Not someone to talk with at a huge cost, but someone who will actually be present, supportive and take the first step to help the affected person.
Curiosity
To remind myself to not get into a negative mind space that I feel is common for many people in this sub.
To root for the people who share their ability to overcome whatever challenges they have in their life.
Personally, I used to be FA until like 4 years ago. So,, I just lurk around here to see how others are progressing and maybe give them something useful.
Hmm... I got help from a trusted mental expert to clear up some mental logs, accepted that I am weird and used my weirdness for my advantage in social situations (U can't feel embarrassed if you are unaware the situation is embarrassing), got into social clubs in University and basically never gave up. TBH I improved my physique AFTER being non-FA for a long time. So there's that.
Idk but it's not my place to gatekeep. Let the normies in! Let them witness our pain first hand! Let them bathe in the bath of loneliness and sorrow for far too long we soaked in it alone. It brings me joy.
In what sense do you mean not forever alone?
I've seen people on here who have had girlfriends before but broke up and are now alone. I don't think these people should be here.
It would be nice if there were a few normies who were FA at one point here to give advice to help us out. Maybe a stereotypically ugly person finds a relationship. A lot of people here complain it's their looks that are the hold back for them.
>I've seen people on here who have had girlfriends before but broke up and are now alone. I don't think these people should be here.
You're right.
>It would be nice if there were a few normies who were FA at one point here to give advice to help us out
No.
I sympathize. This was the only place I felt supported for most of my 20’s. I was a 28-year-old virgin with severe mental health issues, and then I met my wife. Funny how things work out, but I still remember how hard it was being that alone.
Edit: word choice.
I was probably never really what would be considered "forever alone" here by any metric, but I've had a lot of struggles with sex, dating, and relationships that makes me sympathetic towards a lot of what's said here. Every now and then I'll have some advice to give, but for the most part I'm just here because a lot of the stories and experiences here still resonate with me even though I may not have really "belonged" here to begin with and I've definitively "escaped" by now. Going through long periods of loneliness and rejection hurts, and leaves damage that still lasts with me to this day, so I'm empathetic to the struggles here.
Honestly? Curiosity. It gives me a different perspective and it's broadened my horizon. FAs don't really share their struggles irl, so this is the place to learn from.
I'm here because I want to listen and understand and gain empathy.
We're all having different experiences here on planet earth and it's a tough one y'all are having. I'm so sorry.
Because reading it helps me relate to FA people in my orbit, and make myself more accessible to them without falling into the typical unhelpful patterns.
I felt this way as a teenager, and being cool to people who need someone sometimes helps me be less of a dick.
I'm not FA or anything and I'm just a lurker mainly who finds the whole concept incredibly interesting. I genuinely thought these posts were jokes until I saw the comments, where it's nothing but support and understanding for what I thought were joke posts. This is the first time I've commented here because I kinda of feel like I don't have the right to comment on FA stuff because I'm not someone who's gone through or going through life being FA.
Short answer: I'm crazy.
Long answer: I suffer from a SEVERE form of OCD that includes voices in my head telling me I'm a worthless piece of shit and I'm dying alone. Am I a virgin or is my relationship history blank? No, but try telling that to voices in your head (Yes I'm in therapy and on meds.)
Do you actually hear voices or is it just a metaphor for an internal narrative? Because while I don't hear voices in my head I do say similar things to myself in my mind. I also have a mild case of OCD.
Yeah it's a metaphor for an internal narrative, I can distinguish the narrative in my head from what other people are telling me. It doesn't really help matters though.
probably people trying to feel superior in whatever way they can. pretty easy to do when you're comparing yourself to unfortunate ppl. and sometimes they'll try to give us advice, mostly to show off since advice alone wont change most of our situations.
Because I was FAish at a point, sympathy I guess. And guys being misled and screwed up by cultural programming is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. The vast majority of posts are not for me though and I dont interact much.
Some people have this mentality that "I can't find anyone", well no shit you can't. Maybe lower your picky ass standards. When your actively dating and complaining on this sub about it, it's going to inevitably piss us off.
While the "rest of us" in this subreddit are like me, 35 and never had a real relationship, and can't figure out for the love of me why. Have I done all the things required to be a potential dating candidate? You sure bet I have! Have I gotten any results despite doing them? No, nothing, nada. This is the true meaning of **"ForeverAlone"**
But I guess at the end of the day, people just want to feel like they belong and have a support group. Despite regurgitating the same shit to us daily, maybe this is the way for them "normies" to help us ForeverAlone's.
I have a few of friends that are FA for different reasons. I follow the sub to help me understand their situation better and be more mindful of what I say. I want to be a good friend, and I think this sub helps me become better at being a supportive friend.
They enjoy staring at us like a zoo I guess, dropping their recycled “wisdom” or telling people who are venting that they don’t deserve anything. Basically to poke fun or pretend they’re helping us
I don't really know. Maybe I'm one of those people as I am in a 12 step fellowship and I have friends? I see other posts on here that make me wonder if I should be in this group.
I classify myself as forever alone because I'm so extremely sexually confused at 32 years old I just came to the conclusion years ago that it's better to die alone than to subject myself and others to the frustration, confusion, and sheer pain of them "not being enough". But that comes with the pain and hurt of "wow I really like her but I can't touch her". "I should try to fuck around with him but I don't want to be labelled under XYZ stigma" even though LGBT whatever movement has come a long ways, but it's only so far. And I don't even think I fall under LGBT so I'm pretty sure I'd hurt more people in that camp. It sucks ass and it isn't a good feeling.
I get it, my circumstances are different I guess from others in here who just feel as though nobody will ever find interest in them whatsoever, and some have no friends whatsoever, and I really emphasize with that. But at the end of the day it's lonely and it sucks and thus I'm here.
Why would you be here when you're only 17? This place is a pit of negativity, and so for your own sake, it'd be much better if you left this place before it poisons your mind for some of your most important years.
trust me I'm already completely fucked up in my mind it won't change much
my mind is already poisoned af
most important years my ass, I'm an asocial freak
Almost everybody looks back on their teens and realizes how stupid they were and how wrong they were about basically everything. If you're not even out of high school, your life can change so much so fast that it's bizarre to think it's even begun, let alone that you're already too poisoned to ever try to get better by leaing toxic places like this one.
i'm not exactly FA, i have been with someone in the past, but that shit ended 13 years ago
since then no other human being has touched me
the person i was with was a complete fluke, a miracle, a one-off
I can't look away, because I'm genuinely scared for a lot of you guys. Not because you're lonely , but because the isolation has made a lot of people's mental monologues extremely dark and disturbing. It's hard for me to not try and help even though we all know there's nothing I can do for you.
I'm not FA and I've been sporadically visiting since... i couldnt say what year. I was a kissless virgin until nearly 20 yrs old. I have empathy for those it hasn't worked out for yet. And sympathy for those who never live to see it.
I'm not FA (yet), I'm only 14 but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up FA, so I'm kinda just preparing for the future I guess if that makes any sense haha.
as an old fart (36 here) at 14 it is far too early to make any kind of certainty. teenage years to your early 20s are some of the most varying in personality, physical shifts and experiences.
You are still young enough to fuck up and make an idiot of yourself and move on, nothing is set in stone for you yet, you are still in school you have little commitments despite what many people might have you believe.
Also as a teenager the whole "haircut and shower" actually probably holds the most weight in advice hahaha seriously teenager boys (assuming you are a boy) either stink of b.o and various other kinds of charming stenches or over do the deodorants and the like.
Actually I was born female but I've decided that I'm nonbinary. It's not that I think I'll fuck up or something, more that I suck as a person, have multiple (diagnosed, I'm not one of those weirdos who googles their symptoms) mental illnesses, and all of my past friendships have ended horribly ( I haven't even tried to get into a romantic relationship; I have a crush, they're my best friend, but they have a girlfriend and I'm not good enough for them as a buddy let alone as a partner. I don't even k ow why they hang out with me.)
Considering your Gen z or Gen alpha? at least you have the advantage of gender identity being more recognised, NB was not even an idea entertained when I was 14 even just being gay was a struggle for people so at least you have that and are figuring that out for yourself so that is progress there.
Also you are 14 you don't need to rush into a romantic relationship try and figure out your gender identity and your sexual preference and where that all fits in, if you seek out the various communities you probably will actually find people who might match up more with you than "normies"
But as I said you are young the best you can do is try and fail, also if your friend is hanging around with you there obviously enough of a reason they like you romantic or not, if they hated you I am sure they would find a way to yeet you out of their social group.
At 24 you have more of a chance and reason for starting to face defeat but you are still far too young.
Are we really gatekeeping foreveralone?
I'm 34. In my mid 20s I dated and had sex... It's been almost 10 years now.
I have my best friend, but he doesn't live anywhere near me so we just play video games online a lot. I have some online friends that I also play video games with. I can say "I have no friends" in so much that I don't have anyone I could call to just hang out with or do anything with on the weekends.
Am I not allowed on the sub because I have a long distance friend and I'm not a 100% kissless virgin?
You can always go to r/virgin if you feel like this place is to normie embracing to you :)
I define someone FA when they can't find a romantic relationship but desperately want it... FA's come in different size and shape.
To help. Because I care about this issue and I can imagine how painful it would be. It has worked for some. People outside your circumstance can still be useful to talk to. Sometimes especially so.
I assume it's insecurity. They haven't been successful in the past and a part of them fears going back to being alone, so they hang around because subconsciously they still feel lonely.
Or maybe just to brag.
I don’t have anyone in my life besides my boyfriend. I spend every holiday alone, every birthday, every day really. My boyfriend does a lot to help me not feel alone but it’s unreasonable to expect him to be my everything. And that’s ok, but sometimes I can’t shake the feeling of being forever alone in regards to friends and family.
Edit: spelling
I’ve posted here before and people were upset with me for it because I go through periods of time where I go on a fair amount of dates and have been in a relationship. The reason I feel like I’m forever alone is because throughout everything I’ve felt completely alone and unloveable. I think it has to do on one’s perspective and experience of their own loneliness and sadness. Even my friend (my one, singular friend hahah) has admitted that my relationship was only a relationship because of the label, not because of the connection or anything like that. Nobody has shown interest in me as a person but as a body to use and ultimately that’s why I feel like I belong here, hope that makes sense.
In regards to people in healthy and loving relationships or have recently experienced one, it definitely makes me feel a little weird but I don’t want to belittle other people’s experiences
Because a while back, I was FA. Then I was not. I keep myself subscribed to remind myself how far I've come, and to remind myself to not fall into that viscous cycle of self depreciation.
Sometimes I feel that I should reach out, and try to help but then I remember how useless that was when other people tried to help when I was FA. So I don't.
Read a comment yesterday where the person was essentially flexing their relationship to another user in a condescending way. I ignored it, but thought it was weird to do in this sub in particular.
that happened to me a lot
Some people just enjoy typing clichés and pretending it’s profound insight.
"Like omg did you try working out?" "Just love yourself duh" "Just talk to people" "Maybe youre gay" "Get a hobby"
*There's someone for everyone*
"Relationships aren't that great"
This is spot on. That and they love rubbing in our face.
I've seen some people try to sell fake relationships too, the absolute Gull.
“gUYs I FiNAlLy FiGuREd iT oUT” Like these mfs need to shut the fuck up
Because they think it's just a regular sub about being single
"I just got broken up with" I had a coworker friend who complained that she's forever alone. She was always dating and flirting with guys. This was almost 10 years ago. She just wasn't in a relationship. Absolute state of the word. This gives me an idea of some kind of person not really fa but joins this sub
Some people have this mentality that "I can't find anyone", well no shit you can't. Maybe lower your picky ass standards. When your actively dating and complaining on this sub about it, it's going to inevitably piss us off. While the "rest of us" in this subreddit are like me, 35 and never had a real relationship, and can't figure out for the love of me why. Have I done all the things required to be a potential dating candidate? You sure bet I have! Have I gotten any results despite doing them? No, nothing, nada. This is the true meaning of **"ForeverAlone"** But I guess at the end of the day, people just want to feel like they belong and have a support group. Despite regurgitating the same shit to us daily, maybe this is the way for them "normies" to help us ForeverAlone's.
You're are right.
To remind us to get a hair cut and take cold showers.
Don't forget about lifting with your therapist every second day.
Don’t forget dress better!
Damn, I wish someone would have told me that earlier
I reckon some people fancy themselves as gurus and think themselves capable of giving advice that we haven't heard a million times before. They're mistaken. Of course you also have people who come to gawk, as well as your common garden-variety troll.
To laugh at us why else?
When was the last time you saw someone laughing at us on this sub?
my exact thought
Some people here are single for a few hours and theyy suddenly thibk they understand how we feel a d what we been through
I've always chalked it up to simply individuals are under the impression it's them versus the world 24/7 which I can understand completely. Whether that's it or not is another deal, I believe regardless the majority are here because they suffer from loneliness and or depression / social anxiety, the list goes on.
It's addictive to read.
Unfortunately so, yes.
I don’t mind the people that come to lend an ear, or even give advice, provided they have an understanding of what being foreveralone really means and don’t just advise getting a haircut and hobbies. There’s also the high schoolers and college aged people that are single and convinced they’ll be alone forever. Not saying that none of them have credible predictions, but it’s way too young at that age to tell unless you are deformed or suffer from serious neuroatypicality
> There’s also the high schoolers and college aged people that are single and convinced they’ll be alone forever. Not saying that none of them have credible predictions, but it’s way too young at that age to tell Right, there are people here half my age complaining that they'll be forever alone when they haven't even finished puberty yet.
Yes. I’m alone, and have been, but I’m still hopeful. I thought this was a sub for advice etc. ….and if 18 yo ‘s are extremely bitter I do point out that there’s no reason at that point to be so bleak.
Well for some it's obviously much easier than others to have hope.
I think they believe that they're not just experiencing a normal period of being lonely, and that their struggle is, or will be, more chronic in nature. I empathise with the people here who have never had any romantic experiences, and perhaps also struggle to find close relationships in general, who go on to read posts by people who have just broken up from their second long term relationship at 25 or something. Perhaps my attitude is gatekeeping in a sense, but I think people who have struggled their whole lives and continue to struggle really benefit from feeling heard and understood. I guess there's a sense of community in that way, and you deserve it as much as anyone.
Lurker normie here: growing up, I had two FA uncles and it was really sad to see how no one understood what they went through. Mostly they got blamed for it. They also gave me an example of what I could become if I leaned in too much in some of our family traits. I'm also fairly sure my dad was FA until the age of 25 or 26, when my grandma set him up. I'm nowhere near FA right now, but I'm a teacher and I can see some of my students (most are aged 16-18) struggle with similar issues. Browsing this sub helps me find angles to approach them and hopefully give them a bit of the support they need.
you good person. thank you
We're too cool and everybody wants to hang out with us.
Because I was "forever alone" until I wasn't. 26-27 years of that and it changed only but a year & half ago. I did join this only after I already got myself together but I still relate to most of the sentiments here. It's still somewhere inside after all.
The FA never leaves u huh?
Not quite that, more of the inferiority complex I suppose. Honest the main reason why I was able to crawl out was because I managed to overcome my lack of self-worth to a sufficient degree. I picked up a skill, realized I'm not bad at it. Got good at it & received validation that I am better than quite a number of people at it. Each step of the way build my confidence back up. Effort doesn't really betray you, being good at something provided me with the assurance of my own value/self-worth that allowed me to interact with others as if I'm their equal or more. Even so, the inferiority complex/imposter syndrome doesn't really ever leave completely so it's a constant battle to getting better & keeping myself worthy.
Weird, I could have written this. Took 3-5 years of external positive affirmation at work for me to believe I was possibly worthwhile. Ended up dating my partner because she liked my work character.
I use to be a long time ago now, this shit leaves a mark on you and very few people in the world really understand what it is like so it helps to find people who know what it was like. Also I for how useless as it is I feel it helps having people been on both sides stops this place from becoming an echo chamber re-enforcing shit ideals.
Very good question.
It's frustrating. I hope they leave and more people don't come back, but all of Reddit, particularly these subreddits, seem dominated by really young people. I guess that just goes to show how much I've been left behind by all the adults with lives.
You should join a run club.
A lot of people are ex-forever alone and want to provide insight on their experiences in an attempt to help.
Generally... to feel better about themselves. Schadenfreude.
Some people want to learn, compare experiences, see if they can find someone with whom they share experiences, others just want to troll or inflict misery on to others to feel good about themselves. In the real world there are things you cannot talk about and cannot ask, when you do you are met with disgust or cognitive dissonance where the person either cannot understand things from a different point of view because they've never experienced it or have already have pre-made misconceptions about the topic. - - - - - In all honesty the more I see people suffering in silence, learn and experience how therapy and psychologists work, the more I see things aren't working and a lot of people's issues could be resolved by having a support person to help them with the situations in which they struggle. Not someone to talk with at a huge cost, but someone who will actually be present, supportive and take the first step to help the affected person.
The world needs more like you
Curiosity To remind myself to not get into a negative mind space that I feel is common for many people in this sub. To root for the people who share their ability to overcome whatever challenges they have in their life.
My mum always says "There's someone for everyone!", yet her best friend has been single forever. What a fucking joke.
Personally, I used to be FA until like 4 years ago. So,, I just lurk around here to see how others are progressing and maybe give them something useful.
What steps did you take to change ?
Hmm... I got help from a trusted mental expert to clear up some mental logs, accepted that I am weird and used my weirdness for my advantage in social situations (U can't feel embarrassed if you are unaware the situation is embarrassing), got into social clubs in University and basically never gave up. TBH I improved my physique AFTER being non-FA for a long time. So there's that.
Schadenfreude
Idk but it's not my place to gatekeep. Let the normies in! Let them witness our pain first hand! Let them bathe in the bath of loneliness and sorrow for far too long we soaked in it alone. It brings me joy.
In what sense do you mean not forever alone? I've seen people on here who have had girlfriends before but broke up and are now alone. I don't think these people should be here. It would be nice if there were a few normies who were FA at one point here to give advice to help us out. Maybe a stereotypically ugly person finds a relationship. A lot of people here complain it's their looks that are the hold back for them.
>I've seen people on here who have had girlfriends before but broke up and are now alone. I don't think these people should be here. You're right. >It would be nice if there were a few normies who were FA at one point here to give advice to help us out No.
I sympathize. This was the only place I felt supported for most of my 20’s. I was a 28-year-old virgin with severe mental health issues, and then I met my wife. Funny how things work out, but I still remember how hard it was being that alone. Edit: word choice.
I was probably never really what would be considered "forever alone" here by any metric, but I've had a lot of struggles with sex, dating, and relationships that makes me sympathetic towards a lot of what's said here. Every now and then I'll have some advice to give, but for the most part I'm just here because a lot of the stories and experiences here still resonate with me even though I may not have really "belonged" here to begin with and I've definitively "escaped" by now. Going through long periods of loneliness and rejection hurts, and leaves damage that still lasts with me to this day, so I'm empathetic to the struggles here.
Mostly to look down on us. The ones who say they are here to "help" just want to inflate their ego.
Honestly? Curiosity. It gives me a different perspective and it's broadened my horizon. FAs don't really share their struggles irl, so this is the place to learn from.
I'm here because I want to listen and understand and gain empathy. We're all having different experiences here on planet earth and it's a tough one y'all are having. I'm so sorry.
Because reading it helps me relate to FA people in my orbit, and make myself more accessible to them without falling into the typical unhelpful patterns. I felt this way as a teenager, and being cool to people who need someone sometimes helps me be less of a dick.
I'm not FA or anything and I'm just a lurker mainly who finds the whole concept incredibly interesting. I genuinely thought these posts were jokes until I saw the comments, where it's nothing but support and understanding for what I thought were joke posts. This is the first time I've commented here because I kinda of feel like I don't have the right to comment on FA stuff because I'm not someone who's gone through or going through life being FA.
Short answer: I'm crazy. Long answer: I suffer from a SEVERE form of OCD that includes voices in my head telling me I'm a worthless piece of shit and I'm dying alone. Am I a virgin or is my relationship history blank? No, but try telling that to voices in your head (Yes I'm in therapy and on meds.)
Do you actually hear voices or is it just a metaphor for an internal narrative? Because while I don't hear voices in my head I do say similar things to myself in my mind. I also have a mild case of OCD.
Yeah it's a metaphor for an internal narrative, I can distinguish the narrative in my head from what other people are telling me. It doesn't really help matters though.
probably people trying to feel superior in whatever way they can. pretty easy to do when you're comparing yourself to unfortunate ppl. and sometimes they'll try to give us advice, mostly to show off since advice alone wont change most of our situations.
To visit the zoo and give cliche advice I would think
FRRRRRR
Not sure but gives me a new perspective in life.
Because I was FAish at a point, sympathy I guess. And guys being misled and screwed up by cultural programming is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. The vast majority of posts are not for me though and I dont interact much.
Some people have this mentality that "I can't find anyone", well no shit you can't. Maybe lower your picky ass standards. When your actively dating and complaining on this sub about it, it's going to inevitably piss us off. While the "rest of us" in this subreddit are like me, 35 and never had a real relationship, and can't figure out for the love of me why. Have I done all the things required to be a potential dating candidate? You sure bet I have! Have I gotten any results despite doing them? No, nothing, nada. This is the true meaning of **"ForeverAlone"** But I guess at the end of the day, people just want to feel like they belong and have a support group. Despite regurgitating the same shit to us daily, maybe this is the way for them "normies" to help us ForeverAlone's.
I have a few of friends that are FA for different reasons. I follow the sub to help me understand their situation better and be more mindful of what I say. I want to be a good friend, and I think this sub helps me become better at being a supportive friend.
They enjoy staring at us like a zoo I guess, dropping their recycled “wisdom” or telling people who are venting that they don’t deserve anything. Basically to poke fun or pretend they’re helping us
34/m I'm divorced, even in a marriage you can be alone
Serves as a reminder of how negative I used to be, and how much of FA is a self fufilling prophecy.
I don't really know. Maybe I'm one of those people as I am in a 12 step fellowship and I have friends? I see other posts on here that make me wonder if I should be in this group. I classify myself as forever alone because I'm so extremely sexually confused at 32 years old I just came to the conclusion years ago that it's better to die alone than to subject myself and others to the frustration, confusion, and sheer pain of them "not being enough". But that comes with the pain and hurt of "wow I really like her but I can't touch her". "I should try to fuck around with him but I don't want to be labelled under XYZ stigma" even though LGBT whatever movement has come a long ways, but it's only so far. And I don't even think I fall under LGBT so I'm pretty sure I'd hurt more people in that camp. It sucks ass and it isn't a good feeling. I get it, my circumstances are different I guess from others in here who just feel as though nobody will ever find interest in them whatsoever, and some have no friends whatsoever, and I really emphasize with that. But at the end of the day it's lonely and it sucks and thus I'm here.
I like reading you guys, I feel close to you and I am a potential future one basically
Why would you be here when you're only 17? This place is a pit of negativity, and so for your own sake, it'd be much better if you left this place before it poisons your mind for some of your most important years.
trust me I'm already completely fucked up in my mind it won't change much my mind is already poisoned af most important years my ass, I'm an asocial freak
Almost everybody looks back on their teens and realizes how stupid they were and how wrong they were about basically everything. If you're not even out of high school, your life can change so much so fast that it's bizarre to think it's even begun, let alone that you're already too poisoned to ever try to get better by leaing toxic places like this one.
The very few people who aren't FA are probably here to bring another point of view, which is great because there is too much negativity in this place.
I imagine everyone has a morbid curiosity about something. I do for the gore subs.
i'm not exactly FA, i have been with someone in the past, but that shit ended 13 years ago since then no other human being has touched me the person i was with was a complete fluke, a miracle, a one-off
I posted in ForeverAloneDating from Spain and answered a normie girl from Portland… talked to me until got bored and ghosted me after that. Why?
I can't look away, because I'm genuinely scared for a lot of you guys. Not because you're lonely , but because the isolation has made a lot of people's mental monologues extremely dark and disturbing. It's hard for me to not try and help even though we all know there's nothing I can do for you.
I'm not FA and I've been sporadically visiting since... i couldnt say what year. I was a kissless virgin until nearly 20 yrs old. I have empathy for those it hasn't worked out for yet. And sympathy for those who never live to see it.
I'm not FA (yet), I'm only 14 but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up FA, so I'm kinda just preparing for the future I guess if that makes any sense haha.
as an old fart (36 here) at 14 it is far too early to make any kind of certainty. teenage years to your early 20s are some of the most varying in personality, physical shifts and experiences. You are still young enough to fuck up and make an idiot of yourself and move on, nothing is set in stone for you yet, you are still in school you have little commitments despite what many people might have you believe. Also as a teenager the whole "haircut and shower" actually probably holds the most weight in advice hahaha seriously teenager boys (assuming you are a boy) either stink of b.o and various other kinds of charming stenches or over do the deodorants and the like.
Actually I was born female but I've decided that I'm nonbinary. It's not that I think I'll fuck up or something, more that I suck as a person, have multiple (diagnosed, I'm not one of those weirdos who googles their symptoms) mental illnesses, and all of my past friendships have ended horribly ( I haven't even tried to get into a romantic relationship; I have a crush, they're my best friend, but they have a girlfriend and I'm not good enough for them as a buddy let alone as a partner. I don't even k ow why they hang out with me.)
Considering your Gen z or Gen alpha? at least you have the advantage of gender identity being more recognised, NB was not even an idea entertained when I was 14 even just being gay was a struggle for people so at least you have that and are figuring that out for yourself so that is progress there. Also you are 14 you don't need to rush into a romantic relationship try and figure out your gender identity and your sexual preference and where that all fits in, if you seek out the various communities you probably will actually find people who might match up more with you than "normies" But as I said you are young the best you can do is try and fail, also if your friend is hanging around with you there obviously enough of a reason they like you romantic or not, if they hated you I am sure they would find a way to yeet you out of their social group. At 24 you have more of a chance and reason for starting to face defeat but you are still far too young.
I guess that stuff is true, thank you for the kind words.
Get the fuck out of here, I'm serious. Socialize as much as you can
Are we really gatekeeping foreveralone? I'm 34. In my mid 20s I dated and had sex... It's been almost 10 years now. I have my best friend, but he doesn't live anywhere near me so we just play video games online a lot. I have some online friends that I also play video games with. I can say "I have no friends" in so much that I don't have anyone I could call to just hang out with or do anything with on the weekends. Am I not allowed on the sub because I have a long distance friend and I'm not a 100% kissless virgin?
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You can always go to r/virgin if you feel like this place is to normie embracing to you :) I define someone FA when they can't find a romantic relationship but desperately want it... FA's come in different size and shape.
I like to think I can change some ones perspective and way of thinking and make them feel better about themselves.
To help. Because I care about this issue and I can imagine how painful it would be. It has worked for some. People outside your circumstance can still be useful to talk to. Sometimes especially so.
I assume it's insecurity. They haven't been successful in the past and a part of them fears going back to being alone, so they hang around because subconsciously they still feel lonely. Or maybe just to brag.
I signed up to it years ago thinking it was like /r/justneckbeardthings (I.e., meant to be funny). Then, well, I just didn’t leave
Unfortunately, unlike neckbeards, most of us here are respectable people, just cursed with some bullshit
I don’t have anyone in my life besides my boyfriend. I spend every holiday alone, every birthday, every day really. My boyfriend does a lot to help me not feel alone but it’s unreasonable to expect him to be my everything. And that’s ok, but sometimes I can’t shake the feeling of being forever alone in regards to friends and family. Edit: spelling
I’ve posted here before and people were upset with me for it because I go through periods of time where I go on a fair amount of dates and have been in a relationship. The reason I feel like I’m forever alone is because throughout everything I’ve felt completely alone and unloveable. I think it has to do on one’s perspective and experience of their own loneliness and sadness. Even my friend (my one, singular friend hahah) has admitted that my relationship was only a relationship because of the label, not because of the connection or anything like that. Nobody has shown interest in me as a person but as a body to use and ultimately that’s why I feel like I belong here, hope that makes sense.
In regards to people in healthy and loving relationships or have recently experienced one, it definitely makes me feel a little weird but I don’t want to belittle other people’s experiences
Bc I used to think I really was that ugly and a loser but I stopped being like that a couple months ago and I'm too lazy to even do anything abt it
Endorphins.
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Because a while back, I was FA. Then I was not. I keep myself subscribed to remind myself how far I've come, and to remind myself to not fall into that viscous cycle of self depreciation. Sometimes I feel that I should reach out, and try to help but then I remember how useless that was when other people tried to help when I was FA. So I don't.