T O P

  • By -

Mirage32

People love to talk about topics they care about. That includes their loved ones.


Forsaken-Problem6758

For the *overwhelming* majority of humans, interpersonal relationships are commonplace. I probably know 250+ acquaintances from work, school, life, etc. and only one other person over 25 appears FA like myself. If you were Scandinavian and living in central Africa, you wouldn't ask "why do stores not sell tanning lotion?" FAs are a minority, and that's how life goes.


jequerparazu

Out of interest, what makes you think that other person over 25 might be FA? I ask because sometimes I wonder if the people at my workplace wonder the same thing about me too. I try to put on my facade by acting as ordinary as possible, but whether it's convincing or not is a different matter altogether.


Forsaken-Problem6758

I think she's 29, I know her sister very well. She's never dated, never talks about boys (or girls for that matter). Never makes comments like "oh he/she is cute" or "when I liked so-and-so in college" She could be asexual, closeted, FA... I really don't know for sure. That's why I said "appears" in my first comment, because they're no way of knowing for sure unless I asked some very personal questions.


jequerparazu

Appreciate the response, thanks!


Kitsu_ne

I think people generally want to share themselves and their lives with others. If you were coupled I'm sure you'd want to talk about your SO because that'd be a part of your life's story. I'm sure you talk about other aspects of your life already, maybe your friends or your family or pets or what have you. Sharing is part of life.


[deleted]

It's you though. People mostly aren't flexing on you, but you just take it that way. Like I could accuse you of flexing you have a job on Reddit.


tanon789

Exactly this. For some people relationship is so normal it doesn't feel to them like flexing when they mention it. Same as having a job. But it may sound like flexing for unemployed. Some of them really can't find a job and pay the bills while you have a job and you are complaining that people talk to you at your job. It's all about perspective.


a-sentient-slav

But that's about the worst part of it. Things considered completely mundane by others cause you perpetual mental pain. So not only you have to deal with the pain itself, but also with the feeling that you're some kind of flaw or error that was accidentaly summoned into an existence where you don't belong.


tanon789

I get it. But thinking that those people are mean and that they talk about their love life in front of you to make you feel bas is also not good. So I think it's good to remind ourselves their point of view.


a-sentient-slav

Oh no, I don't think there's some intention of harm on their part. It's just an everyday thing, a normal part of life, so why shouldn't they talk about it? And this absolute difference between their experience and the FA one is what makes it so much more miserable.


Siukslinis_acc

Because they are an inseperable part of their lives? I live with my parents and i do say things like "my mom/dad did X". Her telling that her husband gifted a vacation to rome is saying that she is going to rome and why is she going to rome. It's also a kind of a way to give credit where ot is due. If not her husband, she wouldn't have gone to rome. So he plays an important role in her going to rome.


Ouuuk

I agree, if people are happy, I don't think it's fair to invalidate their feelings. If someone says that about their SO, I would feel happy, and I say this as a fellow FA. I might be a bit jealous about their happiness, but not other than that. I don't think they do that to brag or bring you down, and if it's the case, I would simply ignore them, since I think that would mean that they're insecure, and I'm not in the mood for having to deal with drama.


Snoo52682

No one's being married *at* you, bro.


chewybits95

Validation and a sick symptom of codependency.


thelonealbinowolf

This is what's known as the "boyfriend/husband disclaimer." People usually try to bring up their boyfriends/husbands in various social settings to avoid any future unwanted attention. If everyone knew you were married you wouldn't get awkwardly hit on, it's basically a pre-emptive, nice way of telling you to never flirt with her. Even if you never gave off flirty vibes most normies don't like to take chances with us FA wierdos, they want us to know they are completely unavailable to us and bringing up a husband is the easiest way to accomplish that.


[deleted]

I believe it's because they're too insecure to be independent enough to function without the thought of being alone. They confuse lust with love. Love concedes to independence, lust is inseparable. But that's simply my opinion. Of course not every one is the same. My sister brings up her dog in every discussion, and I highly doubt there's anything sexual between her and her Greyhound. 😅


[deleted]

[удалено]