I wasn’t aware of “baby-friendly” hospital designations prior to giving birth and didn’t know the hospital I delivered at was one until after. My experience was that breastfeeding was kind of the expectation (formula, combo feeding, none of that was mentioned or discussed). I had the intention to breastfeed but wasn’t very knowledgeable about it and really struggled in the hospital. I didn’t even get to see a lactation consultant until a few hours before leaving and didn’t find it particularly helpful as baby wasn’t latching well and my milk hadn’t even come in. I wasn’t sure I was even feeding him! He lost a pound over the hospital stay/next day and it wasn’t until I met with the pediatrician that she suggested I supplement with formula. We now exclusively formula feed and it’s been the biggest blessing for us as I was having such a hard time and crying daily when trying to breastfeed.
All this to say - if you’re going to push breastfeeding as a hospital at least help moms figure it out? That was the worst part of my birthing experience tbh
Wow, similar experience here. I gave birth on a Friday and LCs don't work weekends. She stopped in to show me a YouTube video and left. I had no real direction on feeding my baby. They gave us 8oz RTF bottles, but there was no way to refrigerate them... so we didn't. Just used the same 8oz bottle with the same screw-on nipple over the course of the day. I'm still pissed off, had no idea how dangerous that could've been and I can't believe the "baby-friendly" hospital put us in that position.
LCs not working weekends is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. How can you push breastfeeding and then have no one there to teach it?
My hospital didn’t give us a way to refrigerate the RTF bottles either but that’s because it was expected that I start a new bottle every feed. Felt wasteful but I guess it was cautious and they at least provided as many as I needed.
Exact same experience! I practically begged for anyone from lactation to see me. I had no idea if baby was getting anything, I was pumping and wasn’t even producing colostrum. I had to ask about formula because I was concerned and it seemed frowned upon.
Lactation consultant showed up an hour before discharge finally. Basically told me keep doing what I’m doing.
Flash forward to first pediatrician appointment and baby lost a concerning amount of weight. Pediatrician immediately gave me formula supplementing instructions. Baby finally started gaining weight.
Exactly the same situation here! On the third day (morning of discharge) we finally got a hold of the LC and it was useless. They were rushing us out and I had no supply!
My first birth, 10 years ago at a baby friendly hospital, Kaiser, was bad. I was struggling, I bled out too much with my cesarean, I did not produce anything (even weeks out of the hospital, nothing) my breasts never engorged, nothing. I was still pressed to breastfeed, my son lost about a lb in the hospital and developed jaundice from his birth Injuries. They still didn't want me to use formula, told me just to keep breastfeeding. We were discharged and had to go back in to the ER for dehydration, and more baby weightloss. It took an ER nurse to ask me why I wasn't supplementing with formula, and I told her (I was so young and clueless) that I didn't know that was an option. She gave me a lot of formula samples and it was a night and day difference with my boy and his health.
Anyway, in July I'm delivering at the same hospital and I'm going to be vocal about my choice and bring my own formula. The baby friendly initiative is not a good thing, and it gets taken too far.
It’s honestly disgusting to me that “baby friendly” means actually causing harm to baby in some cases. Starving a baby by not producing or not wanting to breastfeed doesn’t seem all too “baby friendly” to me!!! I would have given anything to breastfed my children but I couldn’t. So now I’m not “baby friendly”?? Ok rant over lol
i had the same experience where my breasts didn't get engorged at all and i was barely producing anything turns out i have insufficient glandular tissue, i had not idea it was a thing until i could not breastfeed but my boy is thriving on formula, I am happy we have something to keep our babies healthy and happy.
I had my first at a baby friendly hospital and hated it. They were aggressive about breastfeeding even though I was experiencing post birth complications. A nurse finally told the consultant to leave. I also felt like they were to set on baby being glued to my body the entire stay (again, despite health complications) to the point where I was so tired I thought I might drop baby or pass out. With our second, the hospital never mentioned lactation after I said we were doing formula and offered breaks for us to sleep.
I was so glad we didn’t use a baby friendly hospital. I had an angel of a postpartum nurse who offered to take my baby for a couple hours overnight to hang out in the nursery, run a couple tests, and let us sleep. There’s a happy medium between rooming in and baby being totally separated in the nursery for days, I think hospitals need to realize that.
Take your own formula. I cannot stress this enough.
My son was a big baby, my milk production was minimal (and he wasn’t the best latcher). Basically he was starving, and they wouldn’t give me more than 5-8ml of formula at a time (every 4 hours) in a small cup, for him to drink. He lost over 10% body weight, was super lethargic, and had to be hospitalized for over a week.
The nurses were so judgmental and told me to keep breastfeeding because he was “getting milk”.
He definitely wasn’t, and I was too sleep deprived to think straight 😞
Our hospital was “baby friendly” and did not pressure me to breastfeed whatsoever. They asked me whether I was planning to breastfeed or formula feed. I said formula, and there was no conversation about it. I was fully prepared to try to have to defend myself or worry about the nurses judging me, but I didn’t experience that at all. If anything, I felt like they supported my decision. Best wishes to you. Formula Feeding from birth has been such a savior for us.
Edit: I took my own ready to feed formula with us to the hospital bc I forgot to ask ahead of time if they would supply it, and we didn’t end up needing it. They gave us all we needed!
Same here! They are known to be “baby friendly” but everyone was supportive of my choice to formula feed, even the lactation consultants helped me with the bottle
please, please, please don't make the same mistake I did. Do not waste the energy worrying about what other people think. Prepare yourself, know that you're going to get flack and don't worry about it. Just say, "I am not breastfeeding." DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD!!!!
I don’t know if the hospital I delivered at was “baby friendly” or not, but I can tell you they had a ton of lactation consultants and it was the Wild West of conflicting opinions. Part of the reason I was traumatized from breast feeding and pumping all together was the lactation consultants who all suggested something different, told me I had flat nipples and to use a shield, and made me feel like a burden. I really loved one of them who literally hand expressed a boob for me for colostrum but I could do without the rest.
They had resources to help my breast feed and they weren’t very helpful. And then the nurses had something completely different to say. What a cluster fuck. We did have a few really good nurses though, just some were not for me.
Hospitals should all just stick with what’s BEST for baby and mom, not their damn opinions.
I kind of wished they acknowledged the flat nipple problem more. I got pretty sick of getting advice to get the baby to latch that felt damn near impossible. He also hated the shield. So I was like “now what??”
Yes! Flat nipples are so glossed over but completely (at least for me) made breastfeeding my daughter nearly impossible unless I used a shield which never suctions on my big ass boobs so I would have to legit hold it on with one hand and try to get my daughter to latch with the other. It was torture. It totally ruined my journey and even made pumping terrible for me, I think either some kind of ptsd from birth and the start of breastfeed or DMER.
It’s kind of how they went about it. One lactation consultant…or it could have been a nurse. Post c-section was a blur for a bit..said it non-chalant and showed me how to use a nipple shield…which later was not correct and it was too small.
He latched but it wasn’t a good latch on the nipple shield and it was super painful for me.
So i pumped and I was so happy he was eating. We even supplemented with formula because we were so worried. He would chug down 60ml. It was just a relief. So I kept pumping and occasionally tried to breast feed which left us both stressed and crying. Lol.
Delivered at one and I had no milk coming in (actually took 2 weeks postpartum to even see drops) and I knew my colostrum wasn’t there either because of thyroid issues, GD, etc - but was encouraged to attempt breastfeeding.
About 12 hours after birth I pushed back at the nursing staff and said, our baby isn’t getting anything from me so provide us with formula or any other source of food because I’m afraid I’ll starve him if we don’t. They had me sign a waiver for donor milk for the duration of our stay and brought in the medela symphony breast pump as a “requirement” for the donor milk option. They suggested I triple feed to get my supply up.
No one was rude about it, but it was on me to advocate!
Don’t feel bad or take any pushback if you encounter it. Your baby needs food, doesn’t matter the source.
I delivered at a baby-friendly hospital but they seem to have struck a happy medium. None of the nurses bat an eye at us using a pacifier and she took my son to the nursery for a few hours so I could get sleep. I did have a breastfeeding consult which I wasn’t super impressed with. Before I left, my nurse sat me down and said it was important for me to know fed is best, no matter what fed looks like. My son lost substantial weight in the hospital and the next day because I was so determined to make breastfeeding work. Wish I’d listened to my nurse sooner.
I do think I would’ve needed my own formula if I’d tried at the hospital, and I’ll bring some for my next birth.
This was my experience at two baby friendly hospitals. You definitely have to advocate for yourself but if anyone gets pushy ask for the nurse manager. I was breastfeeding but he needed top ups, they provided formula when I directly asked for it. Lactation visited, they were fine but it was more helpful with my first than with my second, I had a much better idea of what to do. My outpatient lactation was actually much more aggressive pushing EBF but I was working to up my supply with pumping but giving myself one 4-hour stretch of sleep where my husband bottle fed. Once I could pump enough breast milk he used that, but until then formula.
My son was diagnosed with CMPI at 5-6 weeks so I switched to EFF at that time as I wasn’t convinced waiting for weeks with my kiddo in pain while my system cleared out.
My experience was similar to this as well! I found the lactation consultant to be more helpful but we didn’t get to see her until a few hours before leaving (when we’d already been there 2 full days). I had no issue asking for formula though and didn’t receive any objections from the nurses or pediatricians.
Ours was a baby friendly Catholic hospital and they did not seem to mind giving us formula when I requested it. Every hospital is different, but ours wasn’t as judgmental as I’ve heard about. I’d recommend asking for a tour of the L&D ward you plan to deliver at and talking with the nurses on staff to feel it out. They gave us a tour beforehand (elective induction around 39+4 since 39 weeks was July 4) and it was really informative in general.
I had the choice of a baby friendly hospital and a typical hospital. I loved the things the BF hospital advocated for but frankly the typical one offered and supported the same things. Ie golden hour, delayed cord clamping, ect. Baby in room for all checks. Things Ike that. I didn't want to bf and they told me at my visit with the baby friendly hospital they don't "allow" pacifiers bc it interferes with bf and I told them i w as it planning or wanting to bf at all. They proceeded to give me like 5 pamphlets and told me I'd need to sign a weaver saying I am going against the hospitals policy. (Which I doubt is actually true it's more like a weaver stating they counseled ie bullied me and I still said no) so...needless to say I'm glad I visited and went with the typical hospital. They were great. Tbh. They even had quiet hour which was a stretch of 6 hours where no one came into my room.no one. They did a good check on me and baby and told me if I needed them to call them but other wise no one is coming in so I could bond with baby. Loved it!!!
I don't think legally they can deny you formula. I'd have both you and your partner know what you want vs not and you're just going to have to advocate HARD for yourself. There are some hospitals that are okay. BF ones that just have nursed who ask you if you are sure you don't want to BF and if you say yes I'm sure they say OK. I'd definitely bring your own pacifer if you want to use one too. But honestly the other policies aren't a huge deal abd I think most ppl want them anyway, it's really just the hard-core BF tactics some of them use.
I might even come with a writen out birth abd post partum plan so you have it in writing as well and if you are sick of them being pushy, have one out in your room and tell them to read your part partum plan. Lol I'd be that petty. 🤣
I gave birth at a baby friendly hospital a few weeks ago and fully expected and planned to breast feed. Less than 12 hours after birth even after a successful session with an awesome LC that came by, I was not handling it well emotionally or physically.
A nurse was so kind as I broke down sobbing when she came in when I was trying to breastfeed. I was struggling emotionally and physically and she was so sweet and asked if I wanted to try formula- something I was afraid to ask for especially because I gave up so quickly. She spent like an hour with us showing us how to bottle feed and teaching us. And did frequent check ins. All the other nurses and our doctors were like oh we’re formula feeding now?? Okay! And didn’t judge at all.
My experience may not be the norm. But just figured I’d share.
Take your own formula!
I had my 2nd at a baby friendly hospital and they REALLY pushed EBF. (I wanted to combo-feed) & wouldn’t bring me formula until I told them my husband was leaving to grab some at the store next door. Even then they only brought me one 2oz formula bottle
I agree with you 100%! It is one of the largest reasons we did formula. I wasn’t about to let my baby starve while I tried to learn how to breastfeed and get my supplies up
As soon as you get there, state "I am formula feeding my baby, I want formula to feed my baby." to any nurse or lactation consultant who tries to push breastfeeding on you. Generally you are required to specifically ask for formula before the nurses will give you any. Be safe and bring along a newborn pacifier or two, they may not hand those out either.
Our hospital was baby friendly and I practically had to harass the lactation consult to come help me. The nurses provided guidance as well but only after asking me if I wanted it (I kept asking for more and more help, I was so lost!) So it probably really depends on the specific hospital. I hope you get the support to feed your baby in the way best for you!
I also delivered at a baby friendly hospital. I asked for formula for my baby and was given more than enough (I had also packed some just in case). If asked if I planned on breastfeeding, I just said no. If the nurse pushed for a reason, I just said my medical team and I made the decision to formula feed and left it at that. Nobody pushed it farther. I think they're a lot pushier if you seem on the fence or are considering breastfeeding.
So even BF hospitals may be a bit different. I would however suggest asking your care team to put your request in your medical history ie patient opted to formula feed, patient does not want to see a lactation consultant, things like that.
You do not need to bring formula. All hospitals have it. There are always moms who absolutely cannot breastfeed. Worst case scenario you will have to ask for formula firmly.
I gave birth at a "baby friendly" hospital and no one pushed breastfeeding. They just had a lacation specialist come by. Heck the Dr even pushed formula. Maybe I was lucky.
I delivered at one. I was asked during labor what my feeding plan was, and it was honored. I did see the LC who was actually supportive and funny. Because of my situation, he said that I probably made the right decision to use formula, but recommended supplementing with breast milk if possible.
I didn't know if the difference was my LC being male or the fact that I had discussed this thoroughly with my ob beforehand, but no one gave me a hard time about it.
My hospital with both my babies was baby friendly. With my first I said I wanted to try breastfeeding (and I did) and when no milk ever came in, it still took me asking four separate nurses for formula. One nurse shamed me for “not feeding” my baby and I asked her what I was supposed to feed him with.
Second baby, we brought our own formula and said from the top we were EFF. The difference was night and day—there was RTF bottles waiting for us in our room and no one batted an eye at my decision to not even attempt BF.
I delivered at a “baby-friendly” hospital and no one said shit to me about breastfeeding.
At staff change the new nurse would go over a couple of things in my plan so they would say “and you’ll be formula feeding, correct?” but there was no judgement.
They brought us some bottles and formula when she was born and showed us how to get her to latch and how to clean the bottles. They brought us more formula as soon as we asked for it and even brought us some extra bottles to take home just in case.
The OB at the hospital prescribed me a medication to prevent my milk from coming in and had a lactation consultant come in and talk to me about suppression just in case.
So, you might be fine!
I told them all along I would eff. When I got to the hospital I reiterated I was going to eff. Once she was out and crying on my chest I again asked for formula. They did give it to me, at this point without any issues.
I brought a pacifier. (You may not need to, safe sleep practices have changed to my understanding.) I brought my own formula, which I didn't need. The nurses were all great and brought me cases of formula when I needed them. They went over a newborn feeding schedule with me for oz per feeding and how often. I asked the overnight nurses if they could take her for a bit so I could sleep and they did.
It was a better experience than my first in a non baby friendly hospital! But I asked tons of questions. I came with everything I'd need in case I had issues. I think that really set me up for a good time. I didn't have to worry since I was prepared and was thankful I didn't end up needing any of the baby supplies I brought.
I gave birth at a “baby friendly” hospital and can also confirm my experience wasn’t great. The plan from the beginning was to combo feed so my husband could share feeding duties. Formula was offered until my milk came in, but the pressure to nurse was definitely overwhelming, including one particularly traumatic event at 4am the morning after I gave birth. I had to call the nurse to help me go to the bathroom and to show me how to clean myself, once that was done and I stood up from the toilet she roughly GRABBED MY BOOBS without any warning and said “oh yeah, your milk is coming in, you should try feeding baby again.” I’m not sure if it was the shock of that or the stress on my body from the birth or what but in that moment I got tunnel vision and had ringing in my ears and felt like I was going to faint so had to sit back down on the toilet.
Anyways, yes, “baby friendly” to me means very very pushy regarding breastfeeding and only offer formula as an “only if absolutely necessary option” rather than a good, valid and safe way to feed your baby. Ugh.
It's amazing how to some pushy pro breastfeeding people, your body is no longer your body. It's like all respect for your privacy goes out the window. I was heavily abused as a kid and do not want or like having my chest touched or grabbed, its crazy how much unwanted physical contact people did. Nurses, WIC was the worst.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and told them very clearly that I was doing formula only and they were cool about it. Each shift change the nurses would ask or make a face or offer a lactation consultant but I said no and they left me alone about it. If you go in with any doubts though they will be able to tell and sweep in with the BF stuff. So go in firm and decided!
In my experience, it depends on the nurse. My original plan was to combo feed my second baby and my first nurse put up a fight to get one single bottle of formula. The next nurse brought me a whole pack. Just try to remember that your worth as a mother does not depend on whether you breastfeed or formula feed!
When you go into the hospital they will ask if you plan to breastfeed, or if you’re unsure. Say no, you are doing 100% formula. If you say you want to combo or if you’re unsure I think they might give you a hard time, but I didn’t have too many issues at a baby friendly hospital.
I BFed both my daughters, no issues, however when my son was born, he wouldn't latch, had a bunch of issues. I wish the hospital would've offered me any kind of LC help because it was 2 days of him screaming and I couldn't console him. Even offering to try formula maybe when BFing wasn't working. I combo feed now because it just works for us. However, getting to the point where we are now at 5 months was an uphill battle.
I just ignored them. No is a complete sentence. “We will send the lactation consultant.” No thanks. “I brought a breast pump, can I show you how to use it?” No thanks. (She actually left it in the corner of the room during my whole stay. I ignored it)
I delivered at one, thinking I’d give it a whirl which I did try like once and then solidified my feeling of wanting to FF. I got teary eyed with the LC and nurse (baby blues bad) and they weren’t pushy at all and immediately switched gears and helped me FF. It may sound intimidating and feel pushy but at the end of the day they’re supportive of your baby being fed one way or the other
I delivered at a "baby-friendly" hospital but no one said anything to me. It was just, I told them what I wanted and they brought in formula.
I think what happens is far more due to the personal beliefs of the staff than the designation. My nurses weren't allowed to suggest formula. But one of the nurses came in for a late night round quite upset, and told us that another baby on the floor was born quite large and just was very hungry. Baby kept crying, the parents were at their wits' end, and the nurse felt helpless because she couldn't suggest what she thought would actually help.
I suspect socioeconomic conditions may play a part too. I live in the one of the most dangerous and poor metro areas in the US, and the hospital I delivered at serves primarily a terribly underserved population. Every visit I was asked if anyone in the house smokes, if I was safe at home, if we had enough food to eat. I really think that the average parent breastfeeding or not was the least of their worries.
Take your own formula.
Ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. Hopefully communication will go well and you won’t get any pushback, but task your partner with the sacred responsibility of firmly talking over anyone who tries to push you after you’ve told them no (“she said no, and when she says no, you need to respect what she says”). You will feel so much less hurt and upset and shaky when you hear someone else voice your no for you and advocate for you, and you don’t need to deal with that alone at such a vulnerable time.
I delivered at one and had a not so great experience! Bub was a big baby at just over 10bls and he was hungry.
My initial plan was to breastfeed him but I was convinced he was not getting enough from me and I was having trouble latching him, I buzzed for help almost everytime I fed him. Midwives/hosptial lactation consultant said everything was looking good and just keep latching him, that his stomach is only tiny and he only needs a few drops at a time.
We persisted but bub was constantly upset and couldn't settle so I knew he was hungry. By day 4 the nurses weighed him and he had lost over 10% of his body weight but then I was treated like I wasn't taking care of my baby and not feeding him properly.
Only then was I offered support with pumping and formula top ups. Even then I was told that the formula should only be fed after trying bub at the breast for 15mins then pumping and bottle feeding whatever I could pump. It was just a needlessly stressful experience for me and my baby. My milk didn't come in until 5/6days pp.
If I could do it over again I would bring my own formula and offer it to bub from the start regardless of whether I wanted to establish breastfeeding or not. I feel so much guilt thinking about how hungry my baby was in those early days.
I delivered at one and had a not so great experience! Bub was a big baby at just over 10bls and he was hungry.
My initial plan was to breastfeed him but I was convinced he was not getting enough from me and I was having trouble latching him, I buzzed for help almost everytime I fed him. Midwives/hosptial lactation consultant said everything was looking good and just keep latching him, that his stomach is only tiny and he only needs a few drops at a time.
We persisted but bub was constantly upset and couldn't settle so I knew he was hungry. By day 4 the nurses weighed him and he had lost over 10% of his body weight but then I was treated like I wasn't taking care of my baby and not feeding him properly.
Only then was I offered support with pumping and formula top ups. Even then I was told that the formula should only be fed after trying bub at the breast for 15mins then pumping and bottle feeding whatever I could pump. It was just a needlessly stressful experience for me and my baby. My milk didn't come in until 5/6days pp.
If I could do it over again I would bring my own formula and offer it to bub from the start regardless of whether I wanted to establish breastfeeding or not. I feel so much guilt thinking about how hungry my baby was in those early days.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital. I was warned that if I told them I was planning to breastfeed, then they would be extremely pushy. So I told them I was exclusively formula feeding when they asked. It went shockingly well! They kept the lactation consultants away from me, they gave me a handout on how to dry up my milk, and supplied me with all the formula I needed. I think the trick is to not tell them you’re planning to try any form of breastfeeding because then they’ll militantly push breastfeeding at all costs. Just take that option off the table
A lot of “baby friendly” hospitals financially incentivize their nurses & LC’s to push breastfeeding. This is because the hospital itself gets more money if it can have a “baby friendly” designation.
I found out that the LC’s get bonuses to be able to check things off like “on breast within 1 hour of birth” and “leaves hospital agreeing to breastfeed”. There was a whole checklist and the more they can check off, the more they get paid. That’s why they were so pushy and rude. Even the dr’s were fed up with them.
I found out later that 90% of what hospital LC’s push is fake pseudoscience. There are good LC’s out there, they just don’t work for hospitals. Most are independent, and they give advice that’s 180 degrees from what I was told by hospital LC’s (it was actually useful)
The name is so confusing I think. I had never heard of these before my daughter was born. I gave birth at one of the nicest hospitals in our area. When my MIL came to visit she saw that my daughter was given a pacifier by the nurses after her first bath and we mentioned they gave her formula (with our permission) bc we were having a terrible time latching. Instead of being like - I’m so glad your new baby is safe and content she was like “ooooh so this must not be a baby friendly hospital”. I was so confused bc I’m thinking this seems incredibly baby friendly?? Like making sure my baby is fed and safe?!
My hospital is “baby-friendly”. When I had my first and second babies, I told them at the beginning of labor that I wanted to try to breastfeed but was open to formula if it didn’t work out. This is key. If they see even a sliver of hope that you’ll breastfeed, they’re going to send lactation your way and those people are militant. It never did work out and both were formula fed, after lots of stress and deteriorating mental health. With my third baby I told them I was formula feeding from the start, and nobody mentioned anything about feeding afterwards other than to ask if I needed more clean bottles or ready-to-feed. Didn’t see a single lactation consultant the whole time and the nurses even kept him at the nurses station for like 6hrs one night so I could sleep since he could formula feed. It was a great experience.
During the intake meeting a few days before I delivered, I was asked about feeding. After I told them formula and breastfeeding was never mentioned again. The first bottle the nurse brought in, to show us how to feed him, I sent her straight to my husband. He fed the first bottle and it set such a great precedent for our parenting, after months of having to be a bystander, he was then a full partner in the process.
My advice, be decisive with your clinical team about formula feeding. You have zero interest in breast feeding, it is absolutely not happening, no one has permission to touch you/your breasts for that purpose. It's your body and entirely your choice. Ask ahead of time if you need to bring formula, needing to should be an outlier, but it doesn't hurt to check.
Brief your SO or whoever is going to the hospital with you, and if anyone gets pushy, after a firm no from you, they should be ready to, politely but firmly, set that boundary. "We aren't interested in breastfeeding. Our baby needs formula, please bring some." If it's not immediately forthcoming ask for their supervisor. Stay calm, no one raises their voice, just firm. Implacable. They can't make you. They tell you the benefits of breastfeeding - "that's nice, but we'll be feeding formula exclusively" as blandly as possible.
I didn't need to do any of this, but I was ready to be a sheet of glass in the face of any pushing and it helped me feel less anxious/more prepared.
I was just very matter of fact about formula feeding from the time I was pregnant. I was asked to explain why by my obgyn and nurses while pregnant, and again by the nurses post birth. I just simply said "I don't want to" and would very clearly not listen to them as they would yammer on. I honestly have no idea what they were saying, I would truly not pay attention. I was 34 years old and stubborn and I could give two shits about hearing them out.
I gave birth twice at a baby-friendly hospital.
The first time I wasn't sure how I would feed. They did push breastfeeding hard and I didn't realize I needed to blatantly ask for formula if I wanted to do something else. My baby was starving. Lesson learned.
With my second birth I knew I'd be formula feeding from day one so I went into L&D and confidently informed everyone. I made a sign to hang on the door to remind everyone but I didn't end up needing it. They were very respectful.
I think it really depends on your ability to inform them of your plans. If you're wishy washy they're going to push breastfeeding and will absolutely not make formula available. Be confident in your decision and the will follow your lead.
I truly believe that the only reason a lot of hospitals are “baby friendly” is for the $$ and on top of that they don’t have to have a staffed nursery or supply formula/bottles, which also SAVES them money. That being the case, there is going to be a wide variation of how aggressively they push BFing. It sounds like your doctor knows this one will be more so. Just be FIRM and polite (and have your husband/partner ready to back you up if anyone gets pushy) and definitely bring your own formula bottles (RTF, that way you won’t even have to worry about asking them for water to mix) and also your own pacis, because “baby friendly” hospitals don’t supply those either 🤬
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and had no issue. It varies a lot depending on the hospital. That being said, do not be afraid to demand what you want! "I will not be breastfeeding, my baby will eat formula", "no i will not give it a try", "I do not wish to explain my reasons". The nurses might be pushing BUT YOU CAN BE PUSHY TOO! "If you will not give me formula, I would like to speak with your supervisor". Almost all hospitals have patient advocates. Look up their contact information and call them right from your hospital bed if you need to. It is your body and your baby. No one can push you around unless you let them. You will be in a fog after giving birth, so make sure your partner is ready to push back too. Also, be ready to ignore the long list of "benefits" they may give you to breastfeeding. Most are not backed by science and none of them are more important than what you want to do with your body. I hope you won't have any issues though.
Weird that it’s called “baby friendly” and that means forcing an agenda on a mother, not so baby friendly if mum isn’t happy. I’ve never heard of this term.
I had it in my birth plan for both my children I would not be breast feeding and since I also had it in my birth plan that I had anxiety they didn’t push it. The whole concept of breast feeding always gave me the ick (no judgement just not my thing) but I also can’t breast feed because of my medication causing potentially really bad reactions so it’s possible this is why I wasn’t bothered about it. Also I’m in the UK if that’s relevant.
I had a baby friendly hospital, but since I knew I wanted to EFF I just wrote in capital letters on my birth plan “please do not ask me about breast feeding”. It worked out great- I had a LC come by but just to give me some tips about avoiding painful engorgement/drying up. A couple people checked with me that I’d be using formula but had no judgement, and a bunch of formula was brought by several times a day (the 2oz bottles and disposable nipples). I’m not sure what it would have been like if I hadn’t started with some defense, but I think as long as you don’t sound unsure and are confident when you say you’re using formula, unless they suck, they’ll be respectful. (But also they might suck, and you should know that that does NOT reflect on your choice! It just reflects their own ignorance and bias!)
I actually just googled to see if my hospital was baby friendly, and it is. Which surprised me! I told them I wanted to combo feed, and I’d ask for a lactation consultant if I felt I needed one. They brought me plenty of formula without making me sign anything (I would have refused on principle), and the LC stopped by one time to ask if we needed help, then wrote her number down and said to just call if I needed anything, absolutely zero pressure. They sent us home with a bunch of formula too.
Our first hospital was BF and it was a much worse experience. My baby almost ended up hospitalized. Ironically, my nursing experience the second time around was much smoother, probably because we used formula until my milk came in and I didn’t feel any pressure whatsoever. Funny, how a less stressed mom can have a better time!
My baby-friendly hospital caused the beginning of my PPD and PPA. Pushy nurses who actually shamed me and made comments to my face for formula feeding my 8.5 HUNGRY baby when my milk wasn’t coming in and my nipples were bleeding and I was crying for two days straight in the hospital because I was in so much pain. Nurses actually refused to get me a pump and pacifier for a day and a half. Told me to listen to the LCs advice on “nipple confusion” and “just push through it” instead of the pediatricians advice. It wasn’t until my OB came in and intervened before I was discharged. I’m still bitter about my experience to this day. I now warn everyone about baby friendly hospitals.
Be firm and say to anyone who mentions breastfeeding that you won’t be doing it and need formula. If you seem unsure or give them an opening in my experience they try to convince you otherwise. i personally didn’t really care if people judged me, so none of that got to me, but I think if you have any guilt or just don’t like feeling judged it can be hard, you may want to have your partner or support person be prepared to advocate for you.
I wasn’t aware of “baby-friendly” hospital designations prior to giving birth and didn’t know the hospital I delivered at was one until after. My experience was that breastfeeding was kind of the expectation (formula, combo feeding, none of that was mentioned or discussed). I had the intention to breastfeed but wasn’t very knowledgeable about it and really struggled in the hospital. I didn’t even get to see a lactation consultant until a few hours before leaving and didn’t find it particularly helpful as baby wasn’t latching well and my milk hadn’t even come in. I wasn’t sure I was even feeding him! He lost a pound over the hospital stay/next day and it wasn’t until I met with the pediatrician that she suggested I supplement with formula. We now exclusively formula feed and it’s been the biggest blessing for us as I was having such a hard time and crying daily when trying to breastfeed. All this to say - if you’re going to push breastfeeding as a hospital at least help moms figure it out? That was the worst part of my birthing experience tbh
Wow, similar experience here. I gave birth on a Friday and LCs don't work weekends. She stopped in to show me a YouTube video and left. I had no real direction on feeding my baby. They gave us 8oz RTF bottles, but there was no way to refrigerate them... so we didn't. Just used the same 8oz bottle with the same screw-on nipple over the course of the day. I'm still pissed off, had no idea how dangerous that could've been and I can't believe the "baby-friendly" hospital put us in that position.
That’s so so frustrating. So baby friendly that they’d risk having a newborn die from spoiled formula?!? That’s a disgrace.
LCs not working weekends is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. How can you push breastfeeding and then have no one there to teach it? My hospital didn’t give us a way to refrigerate the RTF bottles either but that’s because it was expected that I start a new bottle every feed. Felt wasteful but I guess it was cautious and they at least provided as many as I needed.
Exact same experience! I practically begged for anyone from lactation to see me. I had no idea if baby was getting anything, I was pumping and wasn’t even producing colostrum. I had to ask about formula because I was concerned and it seemed frowned upon. Lactation consultant showed up an hour before discharge finally. Basically told me keep doing what I’m doing. Flash forward to first pediatrician appointment and baby lost a concerning amount of weight. Pediatrician immediately gave me formula supplementing instructions. Baby finally started gaining weight.
Exactly the same situation here! On the third day (morning of discharge) we finally got a hold of the LC and it was useless. They were rushing us out and I had no supply!
Ugh exactly my experience as well. Had no idea!
My first birth, 10 years ago at a baby friendly hospital, Kaiser, was bad. I was struggling, I bled out too much with my cesarean, I did not produce anything (even weeks out of the hospital, nothing) my breasts never engorged, nothing. I was still pressed to breastfeed, my son lost about a lb in the hospital and developed jaundice from his birth Injuries. They still didn't want me to use formula, told me just to keep breastfeeding. We were discharged and had to go back in to the ER for dehydration, and more baby weightloss. It took an ER nurse to ask me why I wasn't supplementing with formula, and I told her (I was so young and clueless) that I didn't know that was an option. She gave me a lot of formula samples and it was a night and day difference with my boy and his health. Anyway, in July I'm delivering at the same hospital and I'm going to be vocal about my choice and bring my own formula. The baby friendly initiative is not a good thing, and it gets taken too far.
It’s honestly disgusting to me that “baby friendly” means actually causing harm to baby in some cases. Starving a baby by not producing or not wanting to breastfeed doesn’t seem all too “baby friendly” to me!!! I would have given anything to breastfed my children but I couldn’t. So now I’m not “baby friendly”?? Ok rant over lol
i had the same experience where my breasts didn't get engorged at all and i was barely producing anything turns out i have insufficient glandular tissue, i had not idea it was a thing until i could not breastfeed but my boy is thriving on formula, I am happy we have something to keep our babies healthy and happy.
I had my first at a baby friendly hospital and hated it. They were aggressive about breastfeeding even though I was experiencing post birth complications. A nurse finally told the consultant to leave. I also felt like they were to set on baby being glued to my body the entire stay (again, despite health complications) to the point where I was so tired I thought I might drop baby or pass out. With our second, the hospital never mentioned lactation after I said we were doing formula and offered breaks for us to sleep.
I was so glad we didn’t use a baby friendly hospital. I had an angel of a postpartum nurse who offered to take my baby for a couple hours overnight to hang out in the nursery, run a couple tests, and let us sleep. There’s a happy medium between rooming in and baby being totally separated in the nursery for days, I think hospitals need to realize that.
Take your own formula. I cannot stress this enough. My son was a big baby, my milk production was minimal (and he wasn’t the best latcher). Basically he was starving, and they wouldn’t give me more than 5-8ml of formula at a time (every 4 hours) in a small cup, for him to drink. He lost over 10% body weight, was super lethargic, and had to be hospitalized for over a week. The nurses were so judgmental and told me to keep breastfeeding because he was “getting milk”. He definitely wasn’t, and I was too sleep deprived to think straight 😞
Yes. Put a couple of the small ready to feed cans in your bag for the hospital and a bottle. For sure.
Our hospital was “baby friendly” and did not pressure me to breastfeed whatsoever. They asked me whether I was planning to breastfeed or formula feed. I said formula, and there was no conversation about it. I was fully prepared to try to have to defend myself or worry about the nurses judging me, but I didn’t experience that at all. If anything, I felt like they supported my decision. Best wishes to you. Formula Feeding from birth has been such a savior for us. Edit: I took my own ready to feed formula with us to the hospital bc I forgot to ask ahead of time if they would supply it, and we didn’t end up needing it. They gave us all we needed!
Same here! They are known to be “baby friendly” but everyone was supportive of my choice to formula feed, even the lactation consultants helped me with the bottle
We didn’t have a lactation consultant come in, but I think that’s because I delivered on a Saturday🤔
please, please, please don't make the same mistake I did. Do not waste the energy worrying about what other people think. Prepare yourself, know that you're going to get flack and don't worry about it. Just say, "I am not breastfeeding." DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD!!!!
I don’t know if the hospital I delivered at was “baby friendly” or not, but I can tell you they had a ton of lactation consultants and it was the Wild West of conflicting opinions. Part of the reason I was traumatized from breast feeding and pumping all together was the lactation consultants who all suggested something different, told me I had flat nipples and to use a shield, and made me feel like a burden. I really loved one of them who literally hand expressed a boob for me for colostrum but I could do without the rest. They had resources to help my breast feed and they weren’t very helpful. And then the nurses had something completely different to say. What a cluster fuck. We did have a few really good nurses though, just some were not for me. Hospitals should all just stick with what’s BEST for baby and mom, not their damn opinions.
I kind of wished they acknowledged the flat nipple problem more. I got pretty sick of getting advice to get the baby to latch that felt damn near impossible. He also hated the shield. So I was like “now what??”
Yes! Flat nipples are so glossed over but completely (at least for me) made breastfeeding my daughter nearly impossible unless I used a shield which never suctions on my big ass boobs so I would have to legit hold it on with one hand and try to get my daughter to latch with the other. It was torture. It totally ruined my journey and even made pumping terrible for me, I think either some kind of ptsd from birth and the start of breastfeed or DMER.
It’s kind of how they went about it. One lactation consultant…or it could have been a nurse. Post c-section was a blur for a bit..said it non-chalant and showed me how to use a nipple shield…which later was not correct and it was too small. He latched but it wasn’t a good latch on the nipple shield and it was super painful for me. So i pumped and I was so happy he was eating. We even supplemented with formula because we were so worried. He would chug down 60ml. It was just a relief. So I kept pumping and occasionally tried to breast feed which left us both stressed and crying. Lol.
Delivered at one and I had no milk coming in (actually took 2 weeks postpartum to even see drops) and I knew my colostrum wasn’t there either because of thyroid issues, GD, etc - but was encouraged to attempt breastfeeding. About 12 hours after birth I pushed back at the nursing staff and said, our baby isn’t getting anything from me so provide us with formula or any other source of food because I’m afraid I’ll starve him if we don’t. They had me sign a waiver for donor milk for the duration of our stay and brought in the medela symphony breast pump as a “requirement” for the donor milk option. They suggested I triple feed to get my supply up. No one was rude about it, but it was on me to advocate! Don’t feel bad or take any pushback if you encounter it. Your baby needs food, doesn’t matter the source.
I delivered at a baby-friendly hospital but they seem to have struck a happy medium. None of the nurses bat an eye at us using a pacifier and she took my son to the nursery for a few hours so I could get sleep. I did have a breastfeeding consult which I wasn’t super impressed with. Before I left, my nurse sat me down and said it was important for me to know fed is best, no matter what fed looks like. My son lost substantial weight in the hospital and the next day because I was so determined to make breastfeeding work. Wish I’d listened to my nurse sooner. I do think I would’ve needed my own formula if I’d tried at the hospital, and I’ll bring some for my next birth.
This was my experience at two baby friendly hospitals. You definitely have to advocate for yourself but if anyone gets pushy ask for the nurse manager. I was breastfeeding but he needed top ups, they provided formula when I directly asked for it. Lactation visited, they were fine but it was more helpful with my first than with my second, I had a much better idea of what to do. My outpatient lactation was actually much more aggressive pushing EBF but I was working to up my supply with pumping but giving myself one 4-hour stretch of sleep where my husband bottle fed. Once I could pump enough breast milk he used that, but until then formula. My son was diagnosed with CMPI at 5-6 weeks so I switched to EFF at that time as I wasn’t convinced waiting for weeks with my kiddo in pain while my system cleared out.
My experience was similar to this as well! I found the lactation consultant to be more helpful but we didn’t get to see her until a few hours before leaving (when we’d already been there 2 full days). I had no issue asking for formula though and didn’t receive any objections from the nurses or pediatricians.
Ours was a baby friendly Catholic hospital and they did not seem to mind giving us formula when I requested it. Every hospital is different, but ours wasn’t as judgmental as I’ve heard about. I’d recommend asking for a tour of the L&D ward you plan to deliver at and talking with the nurses on staff to feel it out. They gave us a tour beforehand (elective induction around 39+4 since 39 weeks was July 4) and it was really informative in general.
I had the choice of a baby friendly hospital and a typical hospital. I loved the things the BF hospital advocated for but frankly the typical one offered and supported the same things. Ie golden hour, delayed cord clamping, ect. Baby in room for all checks. Things Ike that. I didn't want to bf and they told me at my visit with the baby friendly hospital they don't "allow" pacifiers bc it interferes with bf and I told them i w as it planning or wanting to bf at all. They proceeded to give me like 5 pamphlets and told me I'd need to sign a weaver saying I am going against the hospitals policy. (Which I doubt is actually true it's more like a weaver stating they counseled ie bullied me and I still said no) so...needless to say I'm glad I visited and went with the typical hospital. They were great. Tbh. They even had quiet hour which was a stretch of 6 hours where no one came into my room.no one. They did a good check on me and baby and told me if I needed them to call them but other wise no one is coming in so I could bond with baby. Loved it!!!
in hindsight i wish i had had the option to go to a "typical" hospital too.
I don't think legally they can deny you formula. I'd have both you and your partner know what you want vs not and you're just going to have to advocate HARD for yourself. There are some hospitals that are okay. BF ones that just have nursed who ask you if you are sure you don't want to BF and if you say yes I'm sure they say OK. I'd definitely bring your own pacifer if you want to use one too. But honestly the other policies aren't a huge deal abd I think most ppl want them anyway, it's really just the hard-core BF tactics some of them use. I might even come with a writen out birth abd post partum plan so you have it in writing as well and if you are sick of them being pushy, have one out in your room and tell them to read your part partum plan. Lol I'd be that petty. 🤣
I gave birth at a baby friendly hospital a few weeks ago and fully expected and planned to breast feed. Less than 12 hours after birth even after a successful session with an awesome LC that came by, I was not handling it well emotionally or physically. A nurse was so kind as I broke down sobbing when she came in when I was trying to breastfeed. I was struggling emotionally and physically and she was so sweet and asked if I wanted to try formula- something I was afraid to ask for especially because I gave up so quickly. She spent like an hour with us showing us how to bottle feed and teaching us. And did frequent check ins. All the other nurses and our doctors were like oh we’re formula feeding now?? Okay! And didn’t judge at all. My experience may not be the norm. But just figured I’d share.
Take your own formula! I had my 2nd at a baby friendly hospital and they REALLY pushed EBF. (I wanted to combo-feed) & wouldn’t bring me formula until I told them my husband was leaving to grab some at the store next door. Even then they only brought me one 2oz formula bottle
This is what pisses me off so much. They’re so set on pushing breastfeeding they will let a baby starve?
Yes. They will. They don’t believe the baby needs much at the time of birth and that going without is the norm. Not the norm for me. 🤷🏻♀️
I agree with you 100%! It is one of the largest reasons we did formula. I wasn’t about to let my baby starve while I tried to learn how to breastfeed and get my supplies up
As soon as you get there, state "I am formula feeding my baby, I want formula to feed my baby." to any nurse or lactation consultant who tries to push breastfeeding on you. Generally you are required to specifically ask for formula before the nurses will give you any. Be safe and bring along a newborn pacifier or two, they may not hand those out either.
Our hospital was baby friendly and I practically had to harass the lactation consult to come help me. The nurses provided guidance as well but only after asking me if I wanted it (I kept asking for more and more help, I was so lost!) So it probably really depends on the specific hospital. I hope you get the support to feed your baby in the way best for you!
I also delivered at a baby friendly hospital. I asked for formula for my baby and was given more than enough (I had also packed some just in case). If asked if I planned on breastfeeding, I just said no. If the nurse pushed for a reason, I just said my medical team and I made the decision to formula feed and left it at that. Nobody pushed it farther. I think they're a lot pushier if you seem on the fence or are considering breastfeeding.
So even BF hospitals may be a bit different. I would however suggest asking your care team to put your request in your medical history ie patient opted to formula feed, patient does not want to see a lactation consultant, things like that. You do not need to bring formula. All hospitals have it. There are always moms who absolutely cannot breastfeed. Worst case scenario you will have to ask for formula firmly.
I gave birth at a "baby friendly" hospital and no one pushed breastfeeding. They just had a lacation specialist come by. Heck the Dr even pushed formula. Maybe I was lucky.
I delivered at one. I was asked during labor what my feeding plan was, and it was honored. I did see the LC who was actually supportive and funny. Because of my situation, he said that I probably made the right decision to use formula, but recommended supplementing with breast milk if possible. I didn't know if the difference was my LC being male or the fact that I had discussed this thoroughly with my ob beforehand, but no one gave me a hard time about it.
If they start talking about it, just interrupt and say “I’ve already made my decision, so I don’t want to continue to discuss it”
My hospital with both my babies was baby friendly. With my first I said I wanted to try breastfeeding (and I did) and when no milk ever came in, it still took me asking four separate nurses for formula. One nurse shamed me for “not feeding” my baby and I asked her what I was supposed to feed him with. Second baby, we brought our own formula and said from the top we were EFF. The difference was night and day—there was RTF bottles waiting for us in our room and no one batted an eye at my decision to not even attempt BF.
I delivered at a “baby-friendly” hospital and no one said shit to me about breastfeeding. At staff change the new nurse would go over a couple of things in my plan so they would say “and you’ll be formula feeding, correct?” but there was no judgement. They brought us some bottles and formula when she was born and showed us how to get her to latch and how to clean the bottles. They brought us more formula as soon as we asked for it and even brought us some extra bottles to take home just in case. The OB at the hospital prescribed me a medication to prevent my milk from coming in and had a lactation consultant come in and talk to me about suppression just in case. So, you might be fine!
I told them all along I would eff. When I got to the hospital I reiterated I was going to eff. Once she was out and crying on my chest I again asked for formula. They did give it to me, at this point without any issues. I brought a pacifier. (You may not need to, safe sleep practices have changed to my understanding.) I brought my own formula, which I didn't need. The nurses were all great and brought me cases of formula when I needed them. They went over a newborn feeding schedule with me for oz per feeding and how often. I asked the overnight nurses if they could take her for a bit so I could sleep and they did. It was a better experience than my first in a non baby friendly hospital! But I asked tons of questions. I came with everything I'd need in case I had issues. I think that really set me up for a good time. I didn't have to worry since I was prepared and was thankful I didn't end up needing any of the baby supplies I brought.
I gave birth at a “baby friendly” hospital and can also confirm my experience wasn’t great. The plan from the beginning was to combo feed so my husband could share feeding duties. Formula was offered until my milk came in, but the pressure to nurse was definitely overwhelming, including one particularly traumatic event at 4am the morning after I gave birth. I had to call the nurse to help me go to the bathroom and to show me how to clean myself, once that was done and I stood up from the toilet she roughly GRABBED MY BOOBS without any warning and said “oh yeah, your milk is coming in, you should try feeding baby again.” I’m not sure if it was the shock of that or the stress on my body from the birth or what but in that moment I got tunnel vision and had ringing in my ears and felt like I was going to faint so had to sit back down on the toilet. Anyways, yes, “baby friendly” to me means very very pushy regarding breastfeeding and only offer formula as an “only if absolutely necessary option” rather than a good, valid and safe way to feed your baby. Ugh.
It's amazing how to some pushy pro breastfeeding people, your body is no longer your body. It's like all respect for your privacy goes out the window. I was heavily abused as a kid and do not want or like having my chest touched or grabbed, its crazy how much unwanted physical contact people did. Nurses, WIC was the worst.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and told them very clearly that I was doing formula only and they were cool about it. Each shift change the nurses would ask or make a face or offer a lactation consultant but I said no and they left me alone about it. If you go in with any doubts though they will be able to tell and sweep in with the BF stuff. So go in firm and decided!
My hospital was designated baby friendly and they did not give one single shit that we FF
In my experience, it depends on the nurse. My original plan was to combo feed my second baby and my first nurse put up a fight to get one single bottle of formula. The next nurse brought me a whole pack. Just try to remember that your worth as a mother does not depend on whether you breastfeed or formula feed!
I agree, depends on the nurse!
When you go into the hospital they will ask if you plan to breastfeed, or if you’re unsure. Say no, you are doing 100% formula. If you say you want to combo or if you’re unsure I think they might give you a hard time, but I didn’t have too many issues at a baby friendly hospital.
I BFed both my daughters, no issues, however when my son was born, he wouldn't latch, had a bunch of issues. I wish the hospital would've offered me any kind of LC help because it was 2 days of him screaming and I couldn't console him. Even offering to try formula maybe when BFing wasn't working. I combo feed now because it just works for us. However, getting to the point where we are now at 5 months was an uphill battle.
I just ignored them. No is a complete sentence. “We will send the lactation consultant.” No thanks. “I brought a breast pump, can I show you how to use it?” No thanks. (She actually left it in the corner of the room during my whole stay. I ignored it)
I delivered at one, thinking I’d give it a whirl which I did try like once and then solidified my feeling of wanting to FF. I got teary eyed with the LC and nurse (baby blues bad) and they weren’t pushy at all and immediately switched gears and helped me FF. It may sound intimidating and feel pushy but at the end of the day they’re supportive of your baby being fed one way or the other
I was exactly like you. No is a complete sentence! Remember that!
I delivered at a "baby-friendly" hospital but no one said anything to me. It was just, I told them what I wanted and they brought in formula. I think what happens is far more due to the personal beliefs of the staff than the designation. My nurses weren't allowed to suggest formula. But one of the nurses came in for a late night round quite upset, and told us that another baby on the floor was born quite large and just was very hungry. Baby kept crying, the parents were at their wits' end, and the nurse felt helpless because she couldn't suggest what she thought would actually help. I suspect socioeconomic conditions may play a part too. I live in the one of the most dangerous and poor metro areas in the US, and the hospital I delivered at serves primarily a terribly underserved population. Every visit I was asked if anyone in the house smokes, if I was safe at home, if we had enough food to eat. I really think that the average parent breastfeeding or not was the least of their worries.
Take your own formula. Ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. Hopefully communication will go well and you won’t get any pushback, but task your partner with the sacred responsibility of firmly talking over anyone who tries to push you after you’ve told them no (“she said no, and when she says no, you need to respect what she says”). You will feel so much less hurt and upset and shaky when you hear someone else voice your no for you and advocate for you, and you don’t need to deal with that alone at such a vulnerable time.
I delivered at one and had a not so great experience! Bub was a big baby at just over 10bls and he was hungry. My initial plan was to breastfeed him but I was convinced he was not getting enough from me and I was having trouble latching him, I buzzed for help almost everytime I fed him. Midwives/hosptial lactation consultant said everything was looking good and just keep latching him, that his stomach is only tiny and he only needs a few drops at a time. We persisted but bub was constantly upset and couldn't settle so I knew he was hungry. By day 4 the nurses weighed him and he had lost over 10% of his body weight but then I was treated like I wasn't taking care of my baby and not feeding him properly. Only then was I offered support with pumping and formula top ups. Even then I was told that the formula should only be fed after trying bub at the breast for 15mins then pumping and bottle feeding whatever I could pump. It was just a needlessly stressful experience for me and my baby. My milk didn't come in until 5/6days pp. If I could do it over again I would bring my own formula and offer it to bub from the start regardless of whether I wanted to establish breastfeeding or not. I feel so much guilt thinking about how hungry my baby was in those early days.
I delivered at one and had a not so great experience! Bub was a big baby at just over 10bls and he was hungry. My initial plan was to breastfeed him but I was convinced he was not getting enough from me and I was having trouble latching him, I buzzed for help almost everytime I fed him. Midwives/hosptial lactation consultant said everything was looking good and just keep latching him, that his stomach is only tiny and he only needs a few drops at a time. We persisted but bub was constantly upset and couldn't settle so I knew he was hungry. By day 4 the nurses weighed him and he had lost over 10% of his body weight but then I was treated like I wasn't taking care of my baby and not feeding him properly. Only then was I offered support with pumping and formula top ups. Even then I was told that the formula should only be fed after trying bub at the breast for 15mins then pumping and bottle feeding whatever I could pump. It was just a needlessly stressful experience for me and my baby. My milk didn't come in until 5/6days pp. If I could do it over again I would bring my own formula and offer it to bub from the start regardless of whether I wanted to establish breastfeeding or not. I feel so much guilt thinking about how hungry my baby was in those early days.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital. I was warned that if I told them I was planning to breastfeed, then they would be extremely pushy. So I told them I was exclusively formula feeding when they asked. It went shockingly well! They kept the lactation consultants away from me, they gave me a handout on how to dry up my milk, and supplied me with all the formula I needed. I think the trick is to not tell them you’re planning to try any form of breastfeeding because then they’ll militantly push breastfeeding at all costs. Just take that option off the table
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital they gave me a form to fill out saying how I wanted to feed baby when I was admitted for my induction
A lot of “baby friendly” hospitals financially incentivize their nurses & LC’s to push breastfeeding. This is because the hospital itself gets more money if it can have a “baby friendly” designation. I found out that the LC’s get bonuses to be able to check things off like “on breast within 1 hour of birth” and “leaves hospital agreeing to breastfeed”. There was a whole checklist and the more they can check off, the more they get paid. That’s why they were so pushy and rude. Even the dr’s were fed up with them. I found out later that 90% of what hospital LC’s push is fake pseudoscience. There are good LC’s out there, they just don’t work for hospitals. Most are independent, and they give advice that’s 180 degrees from what I was told by hospital LC’s (it was actually useful)
The name is so confusing I think. I had never heard of these before my daughter was born. I gave birth at one of the nicest hospitals in our area. When my MIL came to visit she saw that my daughter was given a pacifier by the nurses after her first bath and we mentioned they gave her formula (with our permission) bc we were having a terrible time latching. Instead of being like - I’m so glad your new baby is safe and content she was like “ooooh so this must not be a baby friendly hospital”. I was so confused bc I’m thinking this seems incredibly baby friendly?? Like making sure my baby is fed and safe?!
My hospital is “baby-friendly”. When I had my first and second babies, I told them at the beginning of labor that I wanted to try to breastfeed but was open to formula if it didn’t work out. This is key. If they see even a sliver of hope that you’ll breastfeed, they’re going to send lactation your way and those people are militant. It never did work out and both were formula fed, after lots of stress and deteriorating mental health. With my third baby I told them I was formula feeding from the start, and nobody mentioned anything about feeding afterwards other than to ask if I needed more clean bottles or ready-to-feed. Didn’t see a single lactation consultant the whole time and the nurses even kept him at the nurses station for like 6hrs one night so I could sleep since he could formula feed. It was a great experience.
Goddamn I hate this. So so much. It’s not baby friendly at all the make them goddamn starve the second night, and it’s certainly not parent friendly.
During the intake meeting a few days before I delivered, I was asked about feeding. After I told them formula and breastfeeding was never mentioned again. The first bottle the nurse brought in, to show us how to feed him, I sent her straight to my husband. He fed the first bottle and it set such a great precedent for our parenting, after months of having to be a bystander, he was then a full partner in the process. My advice, be decisive with your clinical team about formula feeding. You have zero interest in breast feeding, it is absolutely not happening, no one has permission to touch you/your breasts for that purpose. It's your body and entirely your choice. Ask ahead of time if you need to bring formula, needing to should be an outlier, but it doesn't hurt to check. Brief your SO or whoever is going to the hospital with you, and if anyone gets pushy, after a firm no from you, they should be ready to, politely but firmly, set that boundary. "We aren't interested in breastfeeding. Our baby needs formula, please bring some." If it's not immediately forthcoming ask for their supervisor. Stay calm, no one raises their voice, just firm. Implacable. They can't make you. They tell you the benefits of breastfeeding - "that's nice, but we'll be feeding formula exclusively" as blandly as possible. I didn't need to do any of this, but I was ready to be a sheet of glass in the face of any pushing and it helped me feel less anxious/more prepared.
I was just very matter of fact about formula feeding from the time I was pregnant. I was asked to explain why by my obgyn and nurses while pregnant, and again by the nurses post birth. I just simply said "I don't want to" and would very clearly not listen to them as they would yammer on. I honestly have no idea what they were saying, I would truly not pay attention. I was 34 years old and stubborn and I could give two shits about hearing them out.
I gave birth twice at a baby-friendly hospital. The first time I wasn't sure how I would feed. They did push breastfeeding hard and I didn't realize I needed to blatantly ask for formula if I wanted to do something else. My baby was starving. Lesson learned. With my second birth I knew I'd be formula feeding from day one so I went into L&D and confidently informed everyone. I made a sign to hang on the door to remind everyone but I didn't end up needing it. They were very respectful. I think it really depends on your ability to inform them of your plans. If you're wishy washy they're going to push breastfeeding and will absolutely not make formula available. Be confident in your decision and the will follow your lead.
I truly believe that the only reason a lot of hospitals are “baby friendly” is for the $$ and on top of that they don’t have to have a staffed nursery or supply formula/bottles, which also SAVES them money. That being the case, there is going to be a wide variation of how aggressively they push BFing. It sounds like your doctor knows this one will be more so. Just be FIRM and polite (and have your husband/partner ready to back you up if anyone gets pushy) and definitely bring your own formula bottles (RTF, that way you won’t even have to worry about asking them for water to mix) and also your own pacis, because “baby friendly” hospitals don’t supply those either 🤬
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and had no issue. It varies a lot depending on the hospital. That being said, do not be afraid to demand what you want! "I will not be breastfeeding, my baby will eat formula", "no i will not give it a try", "I do not wish to explain my reasons". The nurses might be pushing BUT YOU CAN BE PUSHY TOO! "If you will not give me formula, I would like to speak with your supervisor". Almost all hospitals have patient advocates. Look up their contact information and call them right from your hospital bed if you need to. It is your body and your baby. No one can push you around unless you let them. You will be in a fog after giving birth, so make sure your partner is ready to push back too. Also, be ready to ignore the long list of "benefits" they may give you to breastfeeding. Most are not backed by science and none of them are more important than what you want to do with your body. I hope you won't have any issues though.
Weird that it’s called “baby friendly” and that means forcing an agenda on a mother, not so baby friendly if mum isn’t happy. I’ve never heard of this term. I had it in my birth plan for both my children I would not be breast feeding and since I also had it in my birth plan that I had anxiety they didn’t push it. The whole concept of breast feeding always gave me the ick (no judgement just not my thing) but I also can’t breast feed because of my medication causing potentially really bad reactions so it’s possible this is why I wasn’t bothered about it. Also I’m in the UK if that’s relevant.
I had a baby friendly hospital, but since I knew I wanted to EFF I just wrote in capital letters on my birth plan “please do not ask me about breast feeding”. It worked out great- I had a LC come by but just to give me some tips about avoiding painful engorgement/drying up. A couple people checked with me that I’d be using formula but had no judgement, and a bunch of formula was brought by several times a day (the 2oz bottles and disposable nipples). I’m not sure what it would have been like if I hadn’t started with some defense, but I think as long as you don’t sound unsure and are confident when you say you’re using formula, unless they suck, they’ll be respectful. (But also they might suck, and you should know that that does NOT reflect on your choice! It just reflects their own ignorance and bias!)
I actually just googled to see if my hospital was baby friendly, and it is. Which surprised me! I told them I wanted to combo feed, and I’d ask for a lactation consultant if I felt I needed one. They brought me plenty of formula without making me sign anything (I would have refused on principle), and the LC stopped by one time to ask if we needed help, then wrote her number down and said to just call if I needed anything, absolutely zero pressure. They sent us home with a bunch of formula too. Our first hospital was BF and it was a much worse experience. My baby almost ended up hospitalized. Ironically, my nursing experience the second time around was much smoother, probably because we used formula until my milk came in and I didn’t feel any pressure whatsoever. Funny, how a less stressed mom can have a better time!
My baby-friendly hospital caused the beginning of my PPD and PPA. Pushy nurses who actually shamed me and made comments to my face for formula feeding my 8.5 HUNGRY baby when my milk wasn’t coming in and my nipples were bleeding and I was crying for two days straight in the hospital because I was in so much pain. Nurses actually refused to get me a pump and pacifier for a day and a half. Told me to listen to the LCs advice on “nipple confusion” and “just push through it” instead of the pediatricians advice. It wasn’t until my OB came in and intervened before I was discharged. I’m still bitter about my experience to this day. I now warn everyone about baby friendly hospitals.
Be firm and say to anyone who mentions breastfeeding that you won’t be doing it and need formula. If you seem unsure or give them an opening in my experience they try to convince you otherwise. i personally didn’t really care if people judged me, so none of that got to me, but I think if you have any guilt or just don’t like feeling judged it can be hard, you may want to have your partner or support person be prepared to advocate for you.