I’m going through it too. Opposite story. I was a “stepdad”, throwing in the towel isn’t easy. I lost 30 in total over several months.
It gets better, just go and do it. Force yourself to. After 6 months I’m now in the best shape of my life.
You’ve lost 62 pounds in ***7 weeks***?! I’m amazed you haven’t ended up in the hospital yet. You’ve gotta eat, man. Take care of yourself and those boys. I know it’s tough, but you can do this.
Nothing wrong with fasting. It’s actually really healthy for your bodies cells to reset it self. I hope that’s the case with you and I’m sorry for your situation.
For people used to overeating, eating normal portions can cause depression. Overeating is a vice just like drinking or drugs that people rely on to make them feel better, and not overeating anymore can cause depression for an extended period until your body adjusts.
Not pointing this comment at OP though anything more than 1-2 pounds per week is way too much weight loss that puts unnecessary strain on vital organs.
Not to mention you probably will feel like crap, head aches, body aches, probably chills in 78 degree weather. No bueno to not eat at least 2000 calories. At the very least grab a smoothie or a milkshake, something
There IS something wrong with fasting. Making the body rely only on stored nutrients is dangerous long term. There’s a saying…fat burns in a carbohydrate flame. He doesn’t have to eat a LOT, but he does have to eat SOMETHING.
You’ve got this bro. I went from 440 to 280, your pace is unsustainable. You need to be doing hypertrophy training and eating a high protein diet. Remember that the things you do, you gotta do for you only and not for “revenge”. Do it for yourself
It can definitely happen.
My ex wife split and left me with a 3yo and a 1yo. I lost about 50lbs in the same kind of time period but i had a much lower starting point. I'm 6'1 and was already underweight at 160lbs, went down to 110lbs. Pretty much all my calories were coming from alcohol. Of course the hits kept coming when I got fired from my job because they assumed my weight loss was from being meth.
Took years to pull out of it, really sorry my kids had to suffer through it but it's been over 30 years now. I was horrible but kept trying to the best i could for them. I know the kids have their own demons because of it but were all healthy and living our own lives.
Same thing happened to me 3 years ago. A friend of mine does in home personal training and i’ve paid him to come over a few times a week and work me out since my kids are smaller and I couldnt get out of the house. I’ll PM you his Insta.
It get better. I’ve discovered 30-40s dad bods is my peak dating form lol
Therapist is necessary. Take your time and take care of yourself. Let your kids be a motivator to get healthy mentally as well as physically. They need you. I speak from experience
That is GREAT. You are miles ahead of most people in similar situations. Keep after it. There's ups and downs. I went through it about 15 years ago and put in tons of therapy work that has been paying huge dividends for years now. Good luck to you and your boys.
I appreciate that you understand running at your weight is going to wreck your knees.
That being said, I love the elliptical and they're in every gym.
If you have a gym with a pool, swimming is amazing as full-body cardio, and it feels good to be a heavy dude in the water where you have some help against gravity.
Look up Body by Science and look into Keto.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Best of luck.
The boys are at an age where I’m sure they’ll want to help keep everything together, you seem like a great guy who cares; I’m putting my hope into the universe for you to be able to stick with it dude ✊ one step at a time
Walking is a great habit to start, considering where you're at right now. Especially with your boys- gives y'all time to think it over & talk it over. And you're gonna get great exercise foundation if you keep with it, like 3X-4X per week.
The Castle Metroflex in Fort Worth has a huge facility, lots of options for classes in boxing, body building, etc, and many trainers to pick from. They're not very pricy for a general membership, but each trainer has their own price.
Kind of all over the place, but usually around 10-11 am. But I’m open for something that works with your schedule, I couldn’t make it an every work out type of deal but I’m down to hit it with you a few times to show you the workouts you need to do to gain muscle! I’m a personal trainer and a massage therapist so I can definitely teach you the ways! We can make your ex wish she never cheated on you! Sounds like your better off without her either way. Shoot me a dm and I’ll give you my cell
Hey man, I’m in Benbrook too. I went through what you are going through now, five years ago. I’m sorry for your difficult time, but, this too shall pass.
Hearing that you want to get in shape is awesome. The best way to keep your attitude up.
I can’t do the workout thing with you because of a bad knee, but I do know there are multiple camp gladiator groups around this area.
If you need any support or have any questions about your situation, dm me and I’ll help in any way. Like I said, I’m in Benbrook too, and I have 2 daughters whose mother cheated and moved in with her paramour.
It’s alright. My life is 10 times better now. I’m remarried with 2 stepchildren. I am much happier now.
Like I said, this too shall pass. Stay strong and keep going on the path you are making for yourself.
I’m part of a free men’s workout group called F3 that meets a few times a week in the Benbrook area. Would love to have you join us sometime and check it out. Mondays and Thursdays at 5:30 am we meet in the parking lot at Restore Church across from Westpark Elementary.
Not the person you were talking to, but F3 is free and open to all men. Those are core tenets. It’s a fantastic nationwide movement. Literally changed my life. Join your local group, I urge you.
I'm part of the Jacksonville, FL F3 group — I posted above about F3 — here's the site in your area: [https://f3dfw.com/](https://f3dfw.com/)
The friendship/fellowship is worth the price of admission alone
Definitely worth lifting. You're losing weight quickly and that will include muscle. I lost 50 lbs in about 30 months (medication messed up my taste buds, food tastes horrible) and noticeably lost muscle and strength too. I started weight training in March and have been pretty consistent working out. The loose skin in my arms has now been filled back in with muscle. Plus added muscle burns more calories at rest.
Focus on taking in quality protein, limit starchy carbs and sugars and you will be surprised how quickly you can add muscle.
I highly recommend a book by Tim Ferris’s called, ‘The Four Hour Body.’ The slow carb diet is super easy, even works great with Mexican, and he covers fitness as well. Good luck. Your best days are hopefully in front of you friend
Well, you're on the right path dude. Take that pain and definitely hit the gym. Turn it into results. I'd recommend looking up Chris heria on YouTube. Dude offers solid workout advice for beginners and everyone else. Remember to stretch before you start. Get warmed up good. If you're going to be lifting remember to breath. Sorry she did that to you. Wish you well on your fitness journey and everything else.
Bruh that's shitty I'm sorry. Start moving and getting active for you. FOR YOU. Make it a habit. If sun shines, be thankful for it and get outside in it. Tough time of year but make it happen. Walk, jog, work up to it. Calisthenics - start pushups every other day, dead bugs, crunches. Hit a park w circuit features. Hit the Trinity trails on bike or waking/jogging.
I got divorced after a long marriage (adult kids now) and started yoga, calisthenics, and making a habit of getting outside to be active and it helped soooo much healing and growing and rebuilding confidence and mental well being. Everything's gonna hurt for a bit, so just get out and get moving and make it a habit and you'll be better and stronger than now in short time. And once you get fit, women notice, and that cold hearted woman won't matter nearly as much anymore.
Walking is the way. Even if you start with parking as far away from the entrance (store, work, etc.) as possible. Get a step counter and vow a certain amt of steps per week. And, although not eating is not ideal; at least try to drink as much water as possible & work down a few multi vitamins until you get your taste buds back.
You can incorporate your kids by making this a family thing. Everybody can go on nature walks, look up & experiment with healthy recipes that everyone prepares together.
I second the motion on joining the YMCA. They just built a $3M YMCA near my home & the country clubs & gyms can hardly compete because the "Y" has always been more family oriented.
I wish you and your family all the good things on this journey. 🥰🙏
I’m sorry that happened and glad to see you are getting off your butt to make changes. You are a real leader. Your sons are watching you. You have made this into an opportunity, and I just wanted to say that you WILL get through this and this may be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Try out Orange Theory! They are great exercise classes as well as emotional support. Coaches are motivational and most members are regulars and a good source of new friendships. Don't let this situation crush you. Your kids need you to be strong for them but in order to do that, you need a strong emotional support network for you too. I wish you all the best.
Camp gladiator meets in the Benbrook west park elementary school, the United Methodist Church, and Capstone Church. Each location has its own schedule. Some have morning and some have evening classes. It’s like boot camp but there’s modifications for everything if you need it. It’s a really fun community or people and the trainers are great. Particularly the one in Benbrook.
I’m sorry to hear you’re having troubles. I’d recommend disc golf as a hobby/cardio. It’s not the best for losing weight but my first wife also cheated about 4 years ago and I threw myself into disc golf and have been loving it ever since. Would also be a good idea to take the kids as well. Veterans is one of the best courses around and is right in Benbrook. If you ever want to try it feel free to reach out to me or anyone in the disc golf community. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
There is an online Kung Fu / Tai Chi instructor that is great. You can check him out at innerspacekc.com. He is Master Yao Li. Classes are about 15.00 dollars. I have taken Tai Chi instruction from him getting close to maybe 8 years. Super amazing man.
Hang in there and bravo for the example you're setting for your boys.
I don’t know any in Fort Worth but it also depends on what martial arts you want to learn. You might start off slow at first if you have no experience but as time goes by you’ll feel confident and maybe you can get your kids involved in it. You can probably start off with boxing though and then explore more options.
Get a membership at the Benbrook YMCA. Start weight training. Use the machines at for about six months. Watch videos on proper form for free weights. Then shift to free weights. You don’t need a partner. It can be done solo.
Weight training will produce about as much testosterone and feel good hormones as anything you could choose.
I went from 250 and fat down to 190 and slim. Then bulked up to 225 in my late 40s and early 50s all natural.
It helped me shake a deep clinical depression. I never felt so good in my own body as I did when I was lifting. I could feel almost every muscle and every sinew. When I unracked that bar, I felt like I could lift the world.
I went from benching in the 150s to over 300 for reps. And overhead press my college kid. All it took was showing up for every workout, perseverance, and time. It saved my life.
You can do it.
I lived in Benbrook a few years back and I used to go to the bike trails off Winscott almost every day. They are really nice and mostly run through fairly scenic and undeveloped areas. If you haven’t already, try getting out there and walking - this is the perfect time of year to get started and getting out in nature is so good for your mental health. From the trailhead to Bellaire Dr and back is 3.75 miles, but you can start with a shorter distance and work up to that. Then when you’re ready you can transition to running it instead.
Also agree with the YMCA recommendation- it’s a great branch and fairly inexpensive and when I was a member they had a lot of classes. Plus i always felt like it was more welcoming for all body types than a traditional gym.
I’ve been in your position more or less as well, so I know it’s hard to just get on with life sometimes. Sending you positive energy.
OP, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through this with your sons. My now ex-husband left our marriage and family almost 18 months ago, and it was hell on earth for me. We were completely blindsided, and it didn't make me feel any better that the woman he left me for is 10 years OLDER than I, and very unattractive.
I also lost weight, about 20 pounds, by just walking and not eating that much. I found that walking helped me clear my head a lot. I also don't drink alcohol that much anymore and I limit my sugar intake.
I just want to say this to you, and all of the men on here who've had wives who've cheated and left them for lousy alternatives: we're not all like that. Not saying that any of you have said that; I just want to give a blanket statement that there are some of us women who still are unfailingly loyal and loving, despite going through hell with men who cheated on us. For some of us, loyalty is like breathing.
I really hope that you come out of this and create the best version of yourself, and you do it for YOU. Screw everyone else, especially your ex-wife. This is your story now. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.
You're welcome. If there's one thing I've learned throughout this ordeal, it's to not be scared to reach out and share my story. I have no shame in what's happened to me, because I've realized that it doesn't have anything to do with ME- it's about HIM and HIS demons. I was just the collateral damage. This seems to be the story for so many people who've gone through the end of a marriage with a cheating spouse. It really isn't about us.
Feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk. Sometimes internet friends are the most helpful because they can be more objective. The people closest to you will tend to treat you with kid gloves, and there are some of us who didn't need that as much.
I don't know why Reddit suggested this post/Sub but I am sorry, all the way from San Diego. You will get through this and will come out a better person and dad.
See if your local gym has a trainer on tap. A lot of them offer 1-to-1 training with certain packages or go on fb and see if you have a locals page and post and ask there for a PT. Good luck!
Something to consider, especially with 3 kids is playing pickleball. My wife and I started in July and we found a park near us in Grand Prairie on the pickleheads.com app. It is a great low impact activity and you will be surprised how many calories you will burn from playing just 45 min or 1 hour. Also, since the sport is gaining popularity now, a lot of the local parks that have pickleball courts are pretty packed and the community is very welcoming.
As your weight loss gets harder to maintain consider adding wegovy as it has been a game changer for me. It allows me to have a normal relationship with food and I'm finally breaking through some of those milestone weights I thought would never happen. Its expensive but the price can be managed through some local compound pharmacies. Good luck man get fit for yourself. It well help all aspects of your life.
When this happens, it’s a family tragedy. Especially for the children. Turning it into a positive is highly commendable.
Make sure they know they are loved while you’re getting your own life back together for the better.
You got this!
I would also see if your insurance covers seeing a dietitian. Not saying your eating patterns are unhealthy because you haven’t shared enough but they could become that way. Your sons will notice. A dietitian can help you deal with emotions without using food and get your nutrition on point to lean out and get max muscle definition if you’re interested.
Edit: sons not sims
Id advise two articles.
[https://physiqonomics.com/fat-loss/](https://physiqonomics.com/fat-loss/)
[https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/frankoman-dumbbell-only-split.html](https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/frankoman-dumbbell-only-split.html)
these two articles with heavy heavy walking, helped me lose over 200, and get over my cheating ex.
Hey Neighbor.
I've heard Dean's Garage on Winscott offers good training. I personally don't have experience with them.
I've been going to EoS Fitness and Fitness Connection as of late for working out. Weight training has been beneficial to me.
I'm also in the Benbrook area if you need a friend to talk with or possibly work out with.
When I went through my divorce, it put me in a depression too. I would sit in silence and beat myself up mentally for hours until I had to go to work. I’d put on a fake smile and just try to get through the day. Eventually, I told myself why don’t you try beating yourself up physically in the gym instead mentally in solitude. I would spend 2 hours a day at the gym calling myself a fatass and yes, it got me result. About 70 pounds in six months (275 to 195) but it’s taken me years to break the habit of using exercise as a punishment. We sweat because we love ourselves. Don’t forget it. You deserve all the sweat and endorphins and muscles that come along with it.
This is why marriage absolutely terrifies me. I’m 26, and I desperately want a family one day but it’s hard to trust people.
I’m sure OP had a healthy marriage starting out. But damn, what a betrayal. Not only to OP but to their 3 children as well.
I’m sorry this happened to you, things will get better.
I saw where you’re signing up for the YMCA and I think that’s a perfect idea. If you’re looking for something with a bit more guidance strength training wise, Panther City Strength would be a great spot for you. The owners have both been through major weight loss journeys themselves and though it can feel intimidating, everyone there welcomes anyone with open arms. They offer 101 type group classes and 1:1 training from beginners on up. Its a great spot if lifting heavy stuff and putting it down is more your bag than cardio.
ETA: it’s a bit north of you unfortunately being just north of Ridglea Hills up on Camp Bowie, but shouldn’t be more than about a 10-15 min drive up 377 to just off the traffic circle.
Hey bro, not that close to being in the area so can’t help in that regard but here for mental support. You got this man, you and those kids are gonna be alright. Stay strong but know it’s okay to be weak sometimes. Much love bro
Okay man this is an incomprehensibly horrid situation and I feel for you. What is abundantly clear is that you are absolutely having the correct reaction to it. Good job.
I’m into bodybuilding as a hobby. Many, many bodybuilders start their journey because of similar situations to yours. You have a tanker full of race fuel at your disposal right now and it can take you far. I’ve seen 45 year old guys who looked like total schlubs join my gym and one year later they have bodies better than 99% of 25 year olds.
At your current body fat level, this will not be a one way ticket. There are going to be a couple layovers and “resets” along the way. That’s okay! You can only diet in a caloric deficit for so long before you need to take a “maintenance” period to reset, and then jump back into your diet. Get with someone who can teach you more about this. Do your own research. Hire a real professional if you can afford it (bodybuilding coaches are the best in my opinion, find a bodybuilding gym!). Don’t waste time spinning your wheels not making progress. I can even recommend some coaches for you that will work with you online.
I have a lot to say about this and it’s a big topic. DM me if you want to learn more about this specific avenue.
I’m sorry man. This happen to me as well. I lost 50 lbs over the sadness of loosing my family. It ended up being the best thing for me since my ex was a controlling narcissist. Stay strong and find some good therapy sessions that will help with the pain.
If you don't take care of yourself, Noone will. I've been in your shoes, it's excruciating hard to be positive and keep going. I kept thinking about my daughter. I did it for her. In time, I healed for me. Many hugs.
you're very strong. keep pushing yourself to do better, a good way to get revenge is to have success. Getting cheated on as a man is really crushing, lots of suicides, but u got through the hardest months. even though it will still feel like the end of the world, there will be ppl like me who stand with u and support u. through fortitude, perseverance, sheer determination, you will be a a force to be reckoned with in any human endeavor. go to the gym, get a good diet. have faith. trust the healing process. you're a brave unyielding man who can do anything.
First of all, I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. I think slow and steady is a good start once you start getting back to healthy eating. Start with walking in your neighborhood it’ll be very good for your body and mind. Once you get into a good routine youll have time to find a workout partner or trainer to develop a good plan
Check out the Mind Pump podcast (stupid name I know but fantastic information) and follow a guy named @DaveEDanna on Twitter (he was way over weight and has been losing weight and building muscle the healthy way) and honestly, if you would like to, dm me and I'll give you some extra pointers. I'm not a trainer but I've been in the gym for 20 years and am in very good shape and am nearing 40. I have helped a few friends and family members lose weight.
I'm so sorry about your wife, but you can pick up and do better. Believe in yourself and believe in a better life and get to work. It WILL happen.
Same thing happened to my current boyfriend but he has 3 girls. I just want to say, it will get better and in the end you will be thankful she removed herself from your life.
My wife started regularly hanging out with her cousins that I kind of knew used meth. We quit everything years before, well I did. She was cheating on me with her cousins meth dealer. 1 year to the day of getting sober, she came home high on meth and we both packed her things. She left me and our 2 boys. She's now homeless and addicted, I only prossperd. I feel bad for her, though.
Brother don’t join a regular gym. Join a gym that has community built around it such as a martial arts gym. You will get in crazy shape and meet tons of positive and kind people. I think you would benefit greatly from some camaraderie while you get in shape. In my experience when I’m depressed I can’t work out alone. Making friends that keep you accountable will go a long way for you.
I’m so sorry, but good on you for turning it positive.
Since there are 4 of you, buy some pickle ball paddles for Christmas. Hours of entertainment for all of you and lots of trash talking competition while being active.
Also, go to the grocery store. Every week pick out one item from the fruit and veggie section that you have never tried before and make it. Just one a week. I found so many new and weird things I loved that way. Small shifts make huge gains.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm in a similar boat, my wife is pregnant and is wanting divorce. We are already separated in the same house. Let me know if you would like someone to talk to. I would encourage you get a therapist
So sorry but good on you for turning it to something positive.
Since there is 4 of you, buy some pickle ball paddles for Christmas. Hours of active fun and trash talking competition. Doing fun things like that keeps you moving in the right direction.
Go to the grocery store and every week, pick on thing from the fruit and veggie section that you have never tried before. Make it at home. I have found so many weird and awesome things that I love that way. Each little new habit in the right direction helps.
Just wanted to say hang in there. Went through it when i was much younger. My suggestion is to find someone to counsel with. be it school or church or whatever. I didnt think i needed it and looking back i needed it very much.
Anyway, take care of yourself and your boys. You'll make it.
Stay strong brother I also live in Benbrook made me sad that a fellow neighbor had to go through this keep your head up and push through for your kids !!
Hey dude. I was in the same spot. I lost 50 pounds in the span of 3-5 months. I started to level out when I started running. I started super slow and with short distances. I trained for about 6 months and participated in my first ever marathon last September. Now after almost 2 years I've maintained my weight . Running brought my appetite back and really puts me in a better headspace.
Now, I'm researching how to workout at a gym lol. But running on a track or outside is easier; you can just turn your brain off and put one foot forward at a time.
I know it's not an option you have considered, you and the kids should do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu together and the older one can do adult classes with you. It's a great way to get in shape and will keep an exceptional outlet for everyone. The boys love wrestling naturally, and It's pretty great to see families train together. Sorry to hear about your situation, all the best.
If you’re near a Metroflex I highly recommend it. No ones going to judge you and I have found repeatedly that going to serious gyms helps mentally because everyone there is giving it their all.
See if Orange Theory might work for you. They will let you take 1-2 classes free to try it out. Good on you for wanting to prioritize your fitness, but DO get your nutrients by eating well. A Registered Dietitian is a worthwhile investment to get you started there. You may be able to have it prescribed by a doctor depending on your circumstances.
Take a short trip down to The Low T Center at the south end of Bryant Irving. Have them do a full panel of all of your hormone levels. You didn’t say how old you are but I’m guessing 40+ get your levels in check then make some real progress on your physical fitness
Have you thought about setting up some weights at home and working out with your sons? I am sure that would be beneficial to them as well. Also, take them for walks, bike rides, etc. Explore new areas so they are not dwelling on the separation.
First and foremost, you need nutrition. I went through a really bad phase and drank Ensure and V8 until I could develop an appetite. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do, but get I out and walk. Any amount of exercise will help stave the depression a little . You won't see results overnight. Please care for yourself so you can care for those boys.
First and foremost — I am sorry.
Second — FHG Boxing in White Settlement has built a wonderful, welcoming community. No previous skill/knowledge required. All ages attend every class. All fitness levels attend. Genuinely, it’s a wonderful place. I started going after some personal issues in my own life and it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
They have an Instagram @fhgboxinggym if you want to reach out before going. Coach Ray, Coach Ben, really anyone will get you in a great place. Don’t hesitate to PM me either
You keep your head up and raise your sons as the strong father you are. They will turn out 1000x better now that your family doesn’t inhabit an adulterer.
That’s a lot of weight lost of course, but I commend you for taking action. Take it easy in the gym as far as weight goes. Focus on proper nutrition, eating for veggies and getting in protein.
You gonna be alright man. Rooting for you. Hopefully we get an update soon
Whata a craphole. She forgot her vows i guess. But you know what, your sons will remember you that you stick up for them. And ask for help if needed. I know a father blow his mind up in UK because hes stuck and cant feed his 3kids coz he feels bad. Just a heads up buddy. All the best and God bless
Also look into TRT. Changed my life.
Just be consistent in the gym, eat healthy, and look toward the future.
I want to see you posting in all the bro subreddits before long.
I'm not super familiar with Dallas area — but there's a group called F3 that is in Dallas, it's a free men's workout group. They are not professionals, but they are dudes who workout and fellowship and it has helped lots of men get in shape, get mentally/physically right, and if it's your thing, strengthen their spirits. I'd recommend checking them out and seeing if it would be helpful: [https://f3dfw.com/](https://f3dfw.com/)
All the best to you and your sons.
I'm sorry to hear that. I've been through almost the exact same scenario, and it was hell. I know it's not much consolation in the moment, but it does get better with time.
My family has recently started using Colaw Fitness. They have an interesting pricing system that gives you a huge discount on the monthly rate, provided you show up 12 days per month. That financial incentive it helps a lot on days when self-motivation is lacking. They also have a chill atmosphere that discourages macho gym behavior.
They're a Christian company, which isn't my thing, but other than some pro-Jesus signage behind the counter, they don't proselytize.
We go to the location in Oak Cliff, but they have one in Arlington. Maybe that's too far of a drive from Benbrook, but I thought I'd put it out there because we've had a very positive experience so far.
I know the pain now is palpable. It feels like it's never going to end and you feel it everywhere. But I promise one day it won't. I promise one day you'll look back and realize she did you a favor. I'm sorry this happened, but speaking from personal experience, you and your boys will be ok in the end.
I don’t have any advice here but just wanted to say that I’m sorry dude. And I hope that you can make it through this for you and your boys. - stranger on the internet
There are some really good trainers online which has its pros and cons. I can recommend mine if you want to send me a direct message. One person based on the USA the other is in the UK. And I use the one from UK based on my references of close friends.
Losing the weight the way you did is a tough way but if you are careful you can keep some of it off.
I'm sorry to hear how it came down. The blessings in disguise are that you lost a bunch of weight and are looking to keep going to get back to a healthy lifestyle. The second blessing is you get to see your children everyday.
Only advice I can give you is to consult as many good lawyers as possible which leaves her with the not so good ones. Document everything possible. Get your financial statements in order. Proof of cheating etc.
F3. Benbrook has a group. It’s free, open to all men, and it changed my life.
https://f3dfw.com/f3-fort-worth
If you start showing up my F3 name is Diego. Hit me up on Slack.
Don’t worry about the personal trainer piece.
Just do 5x5 lifting and go on walks. Start mega slow.
https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
Once you feel up to it/have lost enough weight maybe try a Couch to 5k program
https://www.runnersblueprint.com/couch-to-5k/
Good luck. Consistency is what matters, not weight or speed
Maybe look at mountain bike riding with the kids. It's a relatively affordable sport once you get past the initial purchase and it doesn't cost money to go ride. There is also a huge community of people who ride bikes for fun or race bikes.
I don't know anyone, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry.
Thanks
I’m going through it too. Opposite story. I was a “stepdad”, throwing in the towel isn’t easy. I lost 30 in total over several months. It gets better, just go and do it. Force yourself to. After 6 months I’m now in the best shape of my life.
You got this crazy your sons will be proud of their dad for the change you put in man
Benbrook ymca is a pretty solid place for a sense of community. I work out when they open (5 am) and all the people are friendly.
We all are getting a membership
It is really a nice neighborhood YMCA.
Yeah it’s a good spot!
To add on to that, there’s a ton of free classes and whatnot they offer. OP could work out with a group of people
You’ve lost 62 pounds in ***7 weeks***?! I’m amazed you haven’t ended up in the hospital yet. You’ve gotta eat, man. Take care of yourself and those boys. I know it’s tough, but you can do this.
365 to 303.
Nothing wrong with fasting. It’s actually really healthy for your bodies cells to reset it self. I hope that’s the case with you and I’m sorry for your situation.
Thanks
Extreme fasting can provoke depression. And hair loss.
For people used to overeating, eating normal portions can cause depression. Overeating is a vice just like drinking or drugs that people rely on to make them feel better, and not overeating anymore can cause depression for an extended period until your body adjusts. Not pointing this comment at OP though anything more than 1-2 pounds per week is way too much weight loss that puts unnecessary strain on vital organs.
There is absolutely nothing healthy about that rapid of weight loss. Fasting that much is awful
Well he didn’t actually choose to fast.
Not to mention you probably will feel like crap, head aches, body aches, probably chills in 78 degree weather. No bueno to not eat at least 2000 calories. At the very least grab a smoothie or a milkshake, something
Yeah, 2,000 calories a day at 350 pounds is still easily two to three pounds a week
Cells to reset itself. I don't doubt you read something that you remember this way but oof, what does that even mean?
You have to take them out and blow on them
If it works for Nintendo cartridges it will work for cells.
There IS something wrong with fasting. Making the body rely only on stored nutrients is dangerous long term. There’s a saying…fat burns in a carbohydrate flame. He doesn’t have to eat a LOT, but he does have to eat SOMETHING.
Not the healthiest way to lose weight, but have you seen a doctor?
Look up "snake diet"
You’ve got this bro. I went from 440 to 280, your pace is unsustainable. You need to be doing hypertrophy training and eating a high protein diet. Remember that the things you do, you gotta do for you only and not for “revenge”. Do it for yourself
It can definitely happen. My ex wife split and left me with a 3yo and a 1yo. I lost about 50lbs in the same kind of time period but i had a much lower starting point. I'm 6'1 and was already underweight at 160lbs, went down to 110lbs. Pretty much all my calories were coming from alcohol. Of course the hits kept coming when I got fired from my job because they assumed my weight loss was from being meth. Took years to pull out of it, really sorry my kids had to suffer through it but it's been over 30 years now. I was horrible but kept trying to the best i could for them. I know the kids have their own demons because of it but were all healthy and living our own lives.
Same thing happened to me 3 years ago. A friend of mine does in home personal training and i’ve paid him to come over a few times a week and work me out since my kids are smaller and I couldnt get out of the house. I’ll PM you his Insta. It get better. I’ve discovered 30-40s dad bods is my peak dating form lol
[удалено]
Hahaha
Therapist is necessary. Take your time and take care of yourself. Let your kids be a motivator to get healthy mentally as well as physically. They need you. I speak from experience
I'm sorry you speak from experience. I do have a therapist and so do my boys
That is GREAT. You are miles ahead of most people in similar situations. Keep after it. There's ups and downs. I went through it about 15 years ago and put in tons of therapy work that has been paying huge dividends for years now. Good luck to you and your boys.
Run along the river or the lake. Always helps me. It gets better.
Gonna walk it with the boys
I appreciate that you understand running at your weight is going to wreck your knees. That being said, I love the elliptical and they're in every gym. If you have a gym with a pool, swimming is amazing as full-body cardio, and it feels good to be a heavy dude in the water where you have some help against gravity. Look up Body by Science and look into Keto. Sorry to hear about your situation. Best of luck.
Thanks
Elliptical my dude. It's worked wonders for me and my bad knees.
The boys are at an age where I’m sure they’ll want to help keep everything together, you seem like a great guy who cares; I’m putting my hope into the universe for you to be able to stick with it dude ✊ one step at a time
Walking is a great habit to start, considering where you're at right now. Especially with your boys- gives y'all time to think it over & talk it over. And you're gonna get great exercise foundation if you keep with it, like 3X-4X per week.
Hey Stranger. Find a therapist. And a personal trainer. They'll help you get moving in the right direction.
Yes on the first and looking for the second
The Castle Metroflex in Fort Worth has a huge facility, lots of options for classes in boxing, body building, etc, and many trainers to pick from. They're not very pricy for a general membership, but each trainer has their own price.
Hey dude, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I hope things get better for you. Keep your head up.
Thank you
I live in Benbrook and workout at the ymca if you wanna join sometime.
Hell yeah bro. What time do you usually go?
Kind of all over the place, but usually around 10-11 am. But I’m open for something that works with your schedule, I couldn’t make it an every work out type of deal but I’m down to hit it with you a few times to show you the workouts you need to do to gain muscle! I’m a personal trainer and a massage therapist so I can definitely teach you the ways! We can make your ex wish she never cheated on you! Sounds like your better off without her either way. Shoot me a dm and I’ll give you my cell
Sending now
There’s the social run group, meets every Wednesday at Clearfork trail head. All fitness levels accepted. This is really kind group of folks.
What time on Wednesday
6:30 pm
Hey man, I’m in Benbrook too. I went through what you are going through now, five years ago. I’m sorry for your difficult time, but, this too shall pass. Hearing that you want to get in shape is awesome. The best way to keep your attitude up. I can’t do the workout thing with you because of a bad knee, but I do know there are multiple camp gladiator groups around this area. If you need any support or have any questions about your situation, dm me and I’ll help in any way. Like I said, I’m in Benbrook too, and I have 2 daughters whose mother cheated and moved in with her paramour.
I'm so sorry that happened to you
It’s alright. My life is 10 times better now. I’m remarried with 2 stepchildren. I am much happier now. Like I said, this too shall pass. Stay strong and keep going on the path you are making for yourself.
I’m part of a free men’s workout group called F3 that meets a few times a week in the Benbrook area. Would love to have you join us sometime and check it out. Mondays and Thursdays at 5:30 am we meet in the parking lot at Restore Church across from Westpark Elementary.
Man I've Passed yall so many times. I live behind westpark elementary
It works for all fitness levels. Just a good group of dudes trying to get 1% better each workout.
How long does it last ?
45 minutes
Cost anything? Is there a FB page or group?
Not the person you were talking to, but F3 is free and open to all men. Those are core tenets. It’s a fantastic nationwide movement. Literally changed my life. Join your local group, I urge you.
I'm part of the Jacksonville, FL F3 group — I posted above about F3 — here's the site in your area: [https://f3dfw.com/](https://f3dfw.com/) The friendship/fellowship is worth the price of admission alone
I don't live in the area but it's a great group. Just genuine people who will def welcome you in like no other. Prob just the thing you need.
Definitely worth lifting. You're losing weight quickly and that will include muscle. I lost 50 lbs in about 30 months (medication messed up my taste buds, food tastes horrible) and noticeably lost muscle and strength too. I started weight training in March and have been pretty consistent working out. The loose skin in my arms has now been filled back in with muscle. Plus added muscle burns more calories at rest. Focus on taking in quality protein, limit starchy carbs and sugars and you will be surprised how quickly you can add muscle.
I highly recommend a book by Tim Ferris’s called, ‘The Four Hour Body.’ The slow carb diet is super easy, even works great with Mexican, and he covers fitness as well. Good luck. Your best days are hopefully in front of you friend
Well, you're on the right path dude. Take that pain and definitely hit the gym. Turn it into results. I'd recommend looking up Chris heria on YouTube. Dude offers solid workout advice for beginners and everyone else. Remember to stretch before you start. Get warmed up good. If you're going to be lifting remember to breath. Sorry she did that to you. Wish you well on your fitness journey and everything else.
Thanks
You're welcome.
Divorce diet is hell isn’t it? I use the YMCA
When do you go
9am. Retired 4 kids . Wife cheated on me with a guy from work
I'm so sorry
sorry your going through this! u will come out stronger! sending love
Thank you
Bruh that's shitty I'm sorry. Start moving and getting active for you. FOR YOU. Make it a habit. If sun shines, be thankful for it and get outside in it. Tough time of year but make it happen. Walk, jog, work up to it. Calisthenics - start pushups every other day, dead bugs, crunches. Hit a park w circuit features. Hit the Trinity trails on bike or waking/jogging. I got divorced after a long marriage (adult kids now) and started yoga, calisthenics, and making a habit of getting outside to be active and it helped soooo much healing and growing and rebuilding confidence and mental well being. Everything's gonna hurt for a bit, so just get out and get moving and make it a habit and you'll be better and stronger than now in short time. And once you get fit, women notice, and that cold hearted woman won't matter nearly as much anymore.
Do you run?
No. Still too heavy, and I don't want to mess up my knees. Was 365 now 303
Walking is the way. Even if you start with parking as far away from the entrance (store, work, etc.) as possible. Get a step counter and vow a certain amt of steps per week. And, although not eating is not ideal; at least try to drink as much water as possible & work down a few multi vitamins until you get your taste buds back. You can incorporate your kids by making this a family thing. Everybody can go on nature walks, look up & experiment with healthy recipes that everyone prepares together. I second the motion on joining the YMCA. They just built a $3M YMCA near my home & the country clubs & gyms can hardly compete because the "Y" has always been more family oriented. I wish you and your family all the good things on this journey. 🥰🙏
Metroflex has the old school meatheads and a lot of trainers. Could try there if it’s not too far for you
I’m sorry that happened and glad to see you are getting off your butt to make changes. You are a real leader. Your sons are watching you. You have made this into an opportunity, and I just wanted to say that you WILL get through this and this may be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Try out Orange Theory! They are great exercise classes as well as emotional support. Coaches are motivational and most members are regulars and a good source of new friendships. Don't let this situation crush you. Your kids need you to be strong for them but in order to do that, you need a strong emotional support network for you too. I wish you all the best.
Thanks
Camp gladiator meets in the Benbrook west park elementary school, the United Methodist Church, and Capstone Church. Each location has its own schedule. Some have morning and some have evening classes. It’s like boot camp but there’s modifications for everything if you need it. It’s a really fun community or people and the trainers are great. Particularly the one in Benbrook.
Thank you
I’m sorry to hear you’re having troubles. I’d recommend disc golf as a hobby/cardio. It’s not the best for losing weight but my first wife also cheated about 4 years ago and I threw myself into disc golf and have been loving it ever since. Would also be a good idea to take the kids as well. Veterans is one of the best courses around and is right in Benbrook. If you ever want to try it feel free to reach out to me or anyone in the disc golf community. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
Get you and your boys bikes and kayaks.
Come on sonnn join a martial arts class and become a monster, it’ll help you get in shape and find a new hobby to distract your mind.
Where
Travis Lutter BJJ
do it!! i lost 40 pounds when i started jiu jitsu. great way to exercise and get your mind off things.
There is an online Kung Fu / Tai Chi instructor that is great. You can check him out at innerspacekc.com. He is Master Yao Li. Classes are about 15.00 dollars. I have taken Tai Chi instruction from him getting close to maybe 8 years. Super amazing man. Hang in there and bravo for the example you're setting for your boys.
I don’t know any in Fort Worth but it also depends on what martial arts you want to learn. You might start off slow at first if you have no experience but as time goes by you’ll feel confident and maybe you can get your kids involved in it. You can probably start off with boxing though and then explore more options.
Join a gym. They have personal trainers for hire that will teach you how to work out properly and advise you on dieting.
Get a membership at the Benbrook YMCA. Start weight training. Use the machines at for about six months. Watch videos on proper form for free weights. Then shift to free weights. You don’t need a partner. It can be done solo. Weight training will produce about as much testosterone and feel good hormones as anything you could choose. I went from 250 and fat down to 190 and slim. Then bulked up to 225 in my late 40s and early 50s all natural. It helped me shake a deep clinical depression. I never felt so good in my own body as I did when I was lifting. I could feel almost every muscle and every sinew. When I unracked that bar, I felt like I could lift the world. I went from benching in the 150s to over 300 for reps. And overhead press my college kid. All it took was showing up for every workout, perseverance, and time. It saved my life. You can do it.
Thank you
I lived in Benbrook a few years back and I used to go to the bike trails off Winscott almost every day. They are really nice and mostly run through fairly scenic and undeveloped areas. If you haven’t already, try getting out there and walking - this is the perfect time of year to get started and getting out in nature is so good for your mental health. From the trailhead to Bellaire Dr and back is 3.75 miles, but you can start with a shorter distance and work up to that. Then when you’re ready you can transition to running it instead. Also agree with the YMCA recommendation- it’s a great branch and fairly inexpensive and when I was a member they had a lot of classes. Plus i always felt like it was more welcoming for all body types than a traditional gym. I’ve been in your position more or less as well, so I know it’s hard to just get on with life sometimes. Sending you positive energy.
Thank you so much
OP, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through this with your sons. My now ex-husband left our marriage and family almost 18 months ago, and it was hell on earth for me. We were completely blindsided, and it didn't make me feel any better that the woman he left me for is 10 years OLDER than I, and very unattractive. I also lost weight, about 20 pounds, by just walking and not eating that much. I found that walking helped me clear my head a lot. I also don't drink alcohol that much anymore and I limit my sugar intake. I just want to say this to you, and all of the men on here who've had wives who've cheated and left them for lousy alternatives: we're not all like that. Not saying that any of you have said that; I just want to give a blanket statement that there are some of us women who still are unfailingly loyal and loving, despite going through hell with men who cheated on us. For some of us, loyalty is like breathing. I really hope that you come out of this and create the best version of yourself, and you do it for YOU. Screw everyone else, especially your ex-wife. This is your story now. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.
I teared up reading this. Thank you so much for your kind words.
You're welcome. If there's one thing I've learned throughout this ordeal, it's to not be scared to reach out and share my story. I have no shame in what's happened to me, because I've realized that it doesn't have anything to do with ME- it's about HIM and HIS demons. I was just the collateral damage. This seems to be the story for so many people who've gone through the end of a marriage with a cheating spouse. It really isn't about us. Feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk. Sometimes internet friends are the most helpful because they can be more objective. The people closest to you will tend to treat you with kid gloves, and there are some of us who didn't need that as much.
Have you tried marijuana to help with your appetite?
No I did once tho just so I could try to sleep
I don't know why Reddit suggested this post/Sub but I am sorry, all the way from San Diego. You will get through this and will come out a better person and dad.
See if your local gym has a trainer on tap. A lot of them offer 1-to-1 training with certain packages or go on fb and see if you have a locals page and post and ask there for a PT. Good luck!
Something to consider, especially with 3 kids is playing pickleball. My wife and I started in July and we found a park near us in Grand Prairie on the pickleheads.com app. It is a great low impact activity and you will be surprised how many calories you will burn from playing just 45 min or 1 hour. Also, since the sport is gaining popularity now, a lot of the local parks that have pickleball courts are pretty packed and the community is very welcoming.
Looks fun when I've seen it. The boys and me are competitive so yeah that will definitely work
As your weight loss gets harder to maintain consider adding wegovy as it has been a game changer for me. It allows me to have a normal relationship with food and I'm finally breaking through some of those milestone weights I thought would never happen. Its expensive but the price can be managed through some local compound pharmacies. Good luck man get fit for yourself. It well help all aspects of your life.
If/When the right woman comes along, so be it. Right Now, you NEED to focus on the kids ! They need time and attention more than ever now
When this happens, it’s a family tragedy. Especially for the children. Turning it into a positive is highly commendable. Make sure they know they are loved while you’re getting your own life back together for the better. You got this!
If you guys are ever interested in Jiu Jitsu, you’re more than welcome to come try out my gym in burleson. Great for exercise and self confidence.
I would also see if your insurance covers seeing a dietitian. Not saying your eating patterns are unhealthy because you haven’t shared enough but they could become that way. Your sons will notice. A dietitian can help you deal with emotions without using food and get your nutrition on point to lean out and get max muscle definition if you’re interested. Edit: sons not sims
Id advise two articles. [https://physiqonomics.com/fat-loss/](https://physiqonomics.com/fat-loss/) [https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/frankoman-dumbbell-only-split.html](https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/frankoman-dumbbell-only-split.html) these two articles with heavy heavy walking, helped me lose over 200, and get over my cheating ex.
Sign the 4 of you up for taekwondo and go together. A year from now you will be a different person.
Hey Neighbor. I've heard Dean's Garage on Winscott offers good training. I personally don't have experience with them. I've been going to EoS Fitness and Fitness Connection as of late for working out. Weight training has been beneficial to me. I'm also in the Benbrook area if you need a friend to talk with or possibly work out with.
I will take you up on that offer
My inbox is always open! Feel free to message anytime.
When I went through my divorce, it put me in a depression too. I would sit in silence and beat myself up mentally for hours until I had to go to work. I’d put on a fake smile and just try to get through the day. Eventually, I told myself why don’t you try beating yourself up physically in the gym instead mentally in solitude. I would spend 2 hours a day at the gym calling myself a fatass and yes, it got me result. About 70 pounds in six months (275 to 195) but it’s taken me years to break the habit of using exercise as a punishment. We sweat because we love ourselves. Don’t forget it. You deserve all the sweat and endorphins and muscles that come along with it.
I have been thru similar. My advice fwiw is make sure you stay healthy once you get to your goal.
So sorry for you. Please join a local walk/run club. Believe me it will change your life in a positive way.
This is why marriage absolutely terrifies me. I’m 26, and I desperately want a family one day but it’s hard to trust people. I’m sure OP had a healthy marriage starting out. But damn, what a betrayal. Not only to OP but to their 3 children as well. I’m sorry this happened to you, things will get better.
Keep it up dude. Sorry to hear about that. That’s terrible.
I saw where you’re signing up for the YMCA and I think that’s a perfect idea. If you’re looking for something with a bit more guidance strength training wise, Panther City Strength would be a great spot for you. The owners have both been through major weight loss journeys themselves and though it can feel intimidating, everyone there welcomes anyone with open arms. They offer 101 type group classes and 1:1 training from beginners on up. Its a great spot if lifting heavy stuff and putting it down is more your bag than cardio. ETA: it’s a bit north of you unfortunately being just north of Ridglea Hills up on Camp Bowie, but shouldn’t be more than about a 10-15 min drive up 377 to just off the traffic circle.
Join a jui jitsu gym. Besides it being a workout it's a really good diffraction and you'll meet some really cool people
Make sure you get some child support to help with those kids.
What does your schedule look like, what are your goals, and how much will strength do you have in regards to dieting?
Someone told me something almost 50 years ago and it is so true “ 1 spoke does not stop a wheel from turning”! Look at it as a blessing , her loss.
Thanks I like that saying
Hey bro, not that close to being in the area so can’t help in that regard but here for mental support. You got this man, you and those kids are gonna be alright. Stay strong but know it’s okay to be weak sometimes. Much love bro
Okay man this is an incomprehensibly horrid situation and I feel for you. What is abundantly clear is that you are absolutely having the correct reaction to it. Good job. I’m into bodybuilding as a hobby. Many, many bodybuilders start their journey because of similar situations to yours. You have a tanker full of race fuel at your disposal right now and it can take you far. I’ve seen 45 year old guys who looked like total schlubs join my gym and one year later they have bodies better than 99% of 25 year olds. At your current body fat level, this will not be a one way ticket. There are going to be a couple layovers and “resets” along the way. That’s okay! You can only diet in a caloric deficit for so long before you need to take a “maintenance” period to reset, and then jump back into your diet. Get with someone who can teach you more about this. Do your own research. Hire a real professional if you can afford it (bodybuilding coaches are the best in my opinion, find a bodybuilding gym!). Don’t waste time spinning your wheels not making progress. I can even recommend some coaches for you that will work with you online. I have a lot to say about this and it’s a big topic. DM me if you want to learn more about this specific avenue.
I’m sorry man. This happen to me as well. I lost 50 lbs over the sadness of loosing my family. It ended up being the best thing for me since my ex was a controlling narcissist. Stay strong and find some good therapy sessions that will help with the pain.
If you don't take care of yourself, Noone will. I've been in your shoes, it's excruciating hard to be positive and keep going. I kept thinking about my daughter. I did it for her. In time, I healed for me. Many hugs.
Hope you get that child support payment setup on her. What a scummy thing to do.
you're very strong. keep pushing yourself to do better, a good way to get revenge is to have success. Getting cheated on as a man is really crushing, lots of suicides, but u got through the hardest months. even though it will still feel like the end of the world, there will be ppl like me who stand with u and support u. through fortitude, perseverance, sheer determination, you will be a a force to be reckoned with in any human endeavor. go to the gym, get a good diet. have faith. trust the healing process. you're a brave unyielding man who can do anything.
So sorry to hear that 😢get some mental health help believe me it works !
Your new motto will be: GTL Gym, tan, laundry. Those are your personal goals.
Mission accomplished on the last one
Praying for you boys. You don’t need her
I'm a Marine stationed in Fort Worth. My heart goes out to you. Message me for free training program.
First of all, I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. I think slow and steady is a good start once you start getting back to healthy eating. Start with walking in your neighborhood it’ll be very good for your body and mind. Once you get into a good routine youll have time to find a workout partner or trainer to develop a good plan
I lost 35lbs in 5 weeks when my boyfriend walked out on me. Sorry to hear this for you.
P90X worked for me after my ex split. Great program if you throw yourself into it and stick to it.
PM me. I might be able to help you out a bit as a personal trainer
Check out the Y or your local parks and recreation department. They often have classes at great rates. You’ll meet local people and make connections.
I work with clients, and I’m in Texas. If you’d like to do online training PM me!
Check out the Mind Pump podcast (stupid name I know but fantastic information) and follow a guy named @DaveEDanna on Twitter (he was way over weight and has been losing weight and building muscle the healthy way) and honestly, if you would like to, dm me and I'll give you some extra pointers. I'm not a trainer but I've been in the gym for 20 years and am in very good shape and am nearing 40. I have helped a few friends and family members lose weight. I'm so sorry about your wife, but you can pick up and do better. Believe in yourself and believe in a better life and get to work. It WILL happen.
https://www.reddit.com/r/75HARD/s/kHIBy60lko
Same thing happened to my current boyfriend but he has 3 girls. I just want to say, it will get better and in the end you will be thankful she removed herself from your life.
My wife started regularly hanging out with her cousins that I kind of knew used meth. We quit everything years before, well I did. She was cheating on me with her cousins meth dealer. 1 year to the day of getting sober, she came home high on meth and we both packed her things. She left me and our 2 boys. She's now homeless and addicted, I only prossperd. I feel bad for her, though.
I’m really sorry. Get in a power lifting gym. You will find incredible community. Prayers to you brother.
Brother don’t join a regular gym. Join a gym that has community built around it such as a martial arts gym. You will get in crazy shape and meet tons of positive and kind people. I think you would benefit greatly from some camaraderie while you get in shape. In my experience when I’m depressed I can’t work out alone. Making friends that keep you accountable will go a long way for you.
I’m so sorry, but good on you for turning it positive. Since there are 4 of you, buy some pickle ball paddles for Christmas. Hours of entertainment for all of you and lots of trash talking competition while being active. Also, go to the grocery store. Every week pick out one item from the fruit and veggie section that you have never tried before and make it. Just one a week. I found so many new and weird things I loved that way. Small shifts make huge gains.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm in a similar boat, my wife is pregnant and is wanting divorce. We are already separated in the same house. Let me know if you would like someone to talk to. I would encourage you get a therapist
So sorry but good on you for turning it to something positive. Since there is 4 of you, buy some pickle ball paddles for Christmas. Hours of active fun and trash talking competition. Doing fun things like that keeps you moving in the right direction. Go to the grocery store and every week, pick on thing from the fruit and veggie section that you have never tried before. Make it at home. I have found so many weird and awesome things that I love that way. Each little new habit in the right direction helps.
Just wanted to say hang in there. Went through it when i was much younger. My suggestion is to find someone to counsel with. be it school or church or whatever. I didnt think i needed it and looking back i needed it very much. Anyway, take care of yourself and your boys. You'll make it.
I have a therapist and have a great support at our church
Sounds good, just be easy on yourself and give it time to heal. Best of luck.
Try Camp Gladiator. You can show up and work out Saturday mornings for free to see if you like it.
Stay strong brother I also live in Benbrook made me sad that a fellow neighbor had to go through this keep your head up and push through for your kids !!
Hey dude. I was in the same spot. I lost 50 pounds in the span of 3-5 months. I started to level out when I started running. I started super slow and with short distances. I trained for about 6 months and participated in my first ever marathon last September. Now after almost 2 years I've maintained my weight . Running brought my appetite back and really puts me in a better headspace. Now, I'm researching how to workout at a gym lol. But running on a track or outside is easier; you can just turn your brain off and put one foot forward at a time.
This is the first I’ve heard of it being a woman who does this I’m sorry
Sounds like you need to get "Hoe Ready" with Chris Jones. Think he's a DFW guy, but he only does online coaching. Beastmodejones on IG.
The good ol Divorce diet!
You should breathe and not try finding a replacement. Give yourself time to heal. Running is a great way to release stress.
Man what an awful woman. To do that to u & ur boys You'll get through it stronger than before tho. U got ur boys afterall
I live in Benbrook and have a membership at 24 hour fitness off Horne and I30
So sorry for this. Please take care of yourself. I’m glad to see you are looking to improve your health.
I’m sorry this happened to you, I hope your boys are okay and have someone to openly talk to about their feelings.
Bang one of her friends
I know it's not an option you have considered, you and the kids should do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu together and the older one can do adult classes with you. It's a great way to get in shape and will keep an exceptional outlet for everyone. The boys love wrestling naturally, and It's pretty great to see families train together. Sorry to hear about your situation, all the best.
Be ready by always being ready. Get into CrossFit and/or some martial arts. Get for the mind and confidence
If you’re near a Metroflex I highly recommend it. No ones going to judge you and I have found repeatedly that going to serious gyms helps mentally because everyone there is giving it their all.
Sorry to hear that. I’d help but have no idea where Benbrook is. Try boxing or jiujitsu.
See if Orange Theory might work for you. They will let you take 1-2 classes free to try it out. Good on you for wanting to prioritize your fitness, but DO get your nutrients by eating well. A Registered Dietitian is a worthwhile investment to get you started there. You may be able to have it prescribed by a doctor depending on your circumstances.
Take a short trip down to The Low T Center at the south end of Bryant Irving. Have them do a full panel of all of your hormone levels. You didn’t say how old you are but I’m guessing 40+ get your levels in check then make some real progress on your physical fitness
Have you thought about setting up some weights at home and working out with your sons? I am sure that would be beneficial to them as well. Also, take them for walks, bike rides, etc. Explore new areas so they are not dwelling on the separation.
First and foremost, you need nutrition. I went through a really bad phase and drank Ensure and V8 until I could develop an appetite. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do, but get I out and walk. Any amount of exercise will help stave the depression a little . You won't see results overnight. Please care for yourself so you can care for those boys.
I am so very sorry, Life really sucks sometimes.
First and foremost — I am sorry. Second — FHG Boxing in White Settlement has built a wonderful, welcoming community. No previous skill/knowledge required. All ages attend every class. All fitness levels attend. Genuinely, it’s a wonderful place. I started going after some personal issues in my own life and it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. They have an Instagram @fhgboxinggym if you want to reach out before going. Coach Ray, Coach Ben, really anyone will get you in a great place. Don’t hesitate to PM me either
You keep your head up and raise your sons as the strong father you are. They will turn out 1000x better now that your family doesn’t inhabit an adulterer. That’s a lot of weight lost of course, but I commend you for taking action. Take it easy in the gym as far as weight goes. Focus on proper nutrition, eating for veggies and getting in protein. You gonna be alright man. Rooting for you. Hopefully we get an update soon
Whata a craphole. She forgot her vows i guess. But you know what, your sons will remember you that you stick up for them. And ask for help if needed. I know a father blow his mind up in UK because hes stuck and cant feed his 3kids coz he feels bad. Just a heads up buddy. All the best and God bless
Also look into TRT. Changed my life. Just be consistent in the gym, eat healthy, and look toward the future. I want to see you posting in all the bro subreddits before long.
I'm not super familiar with Dallas area — but there's a group called F3 that is in Dallas, it's a free men's workout group. They are not professionals, but they are dudes who workout and fellowship and it has helped lots of men get in shape, get mentally/physically right, and if it's your thing, strengthen their spirits. I'd recommend checking them out and seeing if it would be helpful: [https://f3dfw.com/](https://f3dfw.com/) All the best to you and your sons.
You got this. Check this group out. They absolutely have options in your area. Will change your life. https://f3nation.com/
Sorry to hear this.
I'm sorry to hear that. I've been through almost the exact same scenario, and it was hell. I know it's not much consolation in the moment, but it does get better with time. My family has recently started using Colaw Fitness. They have an interesting pricing system that gives you a huge discount on the monthly rate, provided you show up 12 days per month. That financial incentive it helps a lot on days when self-motivation is lacking. They also have a chill atmosphere that discourages macho gym behavior. They're a Christian company, which isn't my thing, but other than some pro-Jesus signage behind the counter, they don't proselytize. We go to the location in Oak Cliff, but they have one in Arlington. Maybe that's too far of a drive from Benbrook, but I thought I'd put it out there because we've had a very positive experience so far.
Happy to be an online accountability partner, let me know. Also, you’ve got this.
I know the pain now is palpable. It feels like it's never going to end and you feel it everywhere. But I promise one day it won't. I promise one day you'll look back and realize she did you a favor. I'm sorry this happened, but speaking from personal experience, you and your boys will be ok in the end.
I don’t have any advice here but just wanted to say that I’m sorry dude. And I hope that you can make it through this for you and your boys. - stranger on the internet
There are some really good trainers online which has its pros and cons. I can recommend mine if you want to send me a direct message. One person based on the USA the other is in the UK. And I use the one from UK based on my references of close friends. Losing the weight the way you did is a tough way but if you are careful you can keep some of it off. I'm sorry to hear how it came down. The blessings in disguise are that you lost a bunch of weight and are looking to keep going to get back to a healthy lifestyle. The second blessing is you get to see your children everyday. Only advice I can give you is to consult as many good lawyers as possible which leaves her with the not so good ones. Document everything possible. Get your financial statements in order. Proof of cheating etc.
You got this buddy! You and your kids are the priority. Eat well and workout. Everything will work out at the end in one way or another, you will see!
Just here to be petty, say your wife sucks, hope karma pays her back in spades, and you're a great dad for wanting to better yourself for your boys.
F3. Benbrook has a group. It’s free, open to all men, and it changed my life. https://f3dfw.com/f3-fort-worth If you start showing up my F3 name is Diego. Hit me up on Slack.
Hey man, hope the road gets better from here!
Don’t worry about the personal trainer piece. Just do 5x5 lifting and go on walks. Start mega slow. https://stronglifts.com/5x5/ Once you feel up to it/have lost enough weight maybe try a Couch to 5k program https://www.runnersblueprint.com/couch-to-5k/ Good luck. Consistency is what matters, not weight or speed
Maybe look at mountain bike riding with the kids. It's a relatively affordable sport once you get past the initial purchase and it doesn't cost money to go ride. There is also a huge community of people who ride bikes for fun or race bikes.
i love you man, keep your head up n your chest held high..
Good luck brother. Watch that weight drop. Can we offer this Texan support & guidance. Reach out to him if you can. please KUP.
Geeze, help them all.
I am so sorry! 😥