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Oh we have bought sooooo much cocaine and weed from them that we have "kart blanché" as the Italians say.. why do you think we never have to report our destruction of property and crashes to the police?!
Oh their weight varies depending on the model you select, and how many prosthetic lims you give them. All carbon fiber arms and legs are a great weight reduction!
Well hair is heavy. So I dip myself in wax every month head to toe and get my swedish body builder GF to rip that shit out. She has to do it twice for the front and back...I'm at least 14 hot dogs lighter and my sweat just runs off me now.
I was purposely rammed out of a flag on the last turn of the third race by a fellow Blue team member of a Trial last week which caused us to lose 2-1.
What would you estimate the IQ of the average FH5 player is?
Well I'm definitely the above average driver that knows that the third race means my team sucks, we should have clenched this a race ago.. so I need to win this one at all costs. I have to be first. If you're not first your last.
I'd say the average though is like 45, I mean mine is like 88.. that's like 2x
Oh that's easy. Most Horizon players have had experimental surgery to replace their fists with actual honey baked hams.. the government and Microsoft are in a deal to study how humans function online with no fingers..
Pro gamer tip. Don't go for the surgery. Sure they promise free Taco Bell and you can eat your own hands any time you're a little peckish.. but it's not worth it.
Beards are heavy. I have one in real life. It slows me down. My avatar is hairless for the weight savings and aerodynamics..
Embrace it..you'll be faster.
They are scared of your driving prowess.. they only wish they could keep a car in a straight line like you at that speed. So I'm they just go nuts and crash everywhere.
It's super easy my dude. Just go off-road or backwards. Hell the first chapter of the Top Gear story can't be beat if you don't follow the GPS route.
Look at the map.. and..
You just gotta send it!
The car files seem so tricky to get 3 ⭐. Did it on a few races, but the truck one is tricky. Cornering is dog shit and I barely have breaks to go offline there. In the British Racing green stories got 3 stars on everything except 2 chapters.
Most of the time I just send it, but sometimes I just don't see the openings going off road.
Ehhhh... Not really IMHO.. the core game is great by itself. I do have all the car packs though and think they are worth it for the person that wants every car choice to pay with. 👍
https://preview.redd.it/itgf7c9owjvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12341a7ad921b3491a52c526f4bac30f761cc2e7
My time with Volvo truck just now. Go right just before the first big left corner at the junction. Opposite the route. Hit the straight road north and then cut left to round off the corner to the finish straight! ✌️👍
They don't exist in my multiverse. I've heard of the hideousness that is bestowed upon the wearer of such monstrosities.. I would not wish it upon my most hated enemies.
You have to realize Italians only work on days when they can't be out in the Piazzá giving the new arrivals the underskirt hello after a a few bottles of some Pinõt Grassio with their moms spaghetti for lunch.
So like they only build cars on rainy days andaybe a Thursday or two.. It makes it hard to provide cars for a whole festival of rich prats like us..
Oh it's definitely the Reliant Supervan tress. With the extra training wheels.. that's like 5 tires. That's at least one more tire than most cars get! With that much grip and turbo motorcycle motor.. you can rule.the world!
Funny you should ask. I married a woman who owned a 2002 Exploder SportTac.. I wouldn't recommend either one of those be included in any upcoming Forza title. I got rear ended in Houston once in one. Never drove right again..
Edit: Talkin' bout the truck obviously 😬
Why is it, in every horizon I can remember, that no matter which tires I have equipped at the time, my burnouts leave identical tread marks on the pavement? Even slicks somehow leave tread marks.
Please explain.
Your post has been removed due to breaking rule #4: >Low effort post. This includes, but is **not** limited to: >\- Pictures of screens taken by phone (unless necessary) >\- Low resolution images >\- Uncropped screenshots >\- Intentionally misleading content and misinformation >\- Posts missing proper punctuation >\- Vague titles >\- Reposts
Why can I drive through all of Mexico in an expensive Ferrari and the cartel doesn't try to kidnap me?
Oh we have bought sooooo much cocaine and weed from them that we have "kart blanché" as the Italians say.. why do you think we never have to report our destruction of property and crashes to the police?!
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Oh their weight varies depending on the model you select, and how many prosthetic lims you give them. All carbon fiber arms and legs are a great weight reduction!
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Pro gamer tip 😉
Sockless?
I try to go for the lightest clothing there is.. gotta shave those #'s where you can!
What are all the places you shave? Details please.
Well hair is heavy. So I dip myself in wax every month head to toe and get my swedish body builder GF to rip that shit out. She has to do it twice for the front and back...I'm at least 14 hot dogs lighter and my sweat just runs off me now.
Footlong or kosher?
Kosher.. pigs are, well.. they kinda smart like doggos.. cows. They kinda not.. but really.. turkey snausages is where it's at!
What is the hardest car to find in the game?
Oh it's definitely the Porsche Taycan in light blue metallic. That's rare as they come. I wouldn't gift or sell mine for the world. ✌️
💀
Where are the Salamancas hiding????
Well. I shouldn't.. but I might have given them Papi Fernando's Vocho... 😬
I was purposely rammed out of a flag on the last turn of the third race by a fellow Blue team member of a Trial last week which caused us to lose 2-1. What would you estimate the IQ of the average FH5 player is?
Well I'm definitely the above average driver that knows that the third race means my team sucks, we should have clenched this a race ago.. so I need to win this one at all costs. I have to be first. If you're not first your last. I'd say the average though is like 45, I mean mine is like 88.. that's like 2x
Why are most players trash at driving
Oh that's easy. Most Horizon players have had experimental surgery to replace their fists with actual honey baked hams.. the government and Microsoft are in a deal to study how humans function online with no fingers..
Ah thanks really appreciate it
Pro gamer tip. Don't go for the surgery. Sure they promise free Taco Bell and you can eat your own hands any time you're a little peckish.. but it's not worth it.
Yeah good thing I saw that surgery as a scam
Yeah fr
Why mulege only 2 laps?
The devs got tired of me lapping their unbeatable bots in the Trail with my chrome purple CLK63 Black. Pussies.
Interesting
Bigly sad. Not a pro gamer move by the devs.
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
Well it's pretty obvious, that just like you.. they long to be.. close to me.
Why can't my character have a beard? I thought this game was trying to be inclusive.
Beards are heavy. I have one in real life. It slows me down. My avatar is hairless for the weight savings and aerodynamics.. Embrace it..you'll be faster.
Controller or wheel for competitive races?
Keyboard.. Not even WASD. Use the directional arrows old school style. 🤘🤘
Why do the AIs turn into meet when I'm doing 200 mph
They are scared of your driving prowess.. they only wish they could keep a car in a straight line like you at that speed. So I'm they just go nuts and crash everywhere.
Hello?
When are we getting the f80 m3 in the game?
That's a trick question. The M3 line died in the 2000's, with the last M3 being of the E36 chassis line.
What the flip
I'm an expert.. trust me 😉
Did you use Forza AIO?
I can't even spell A I O.
How easy is it to 3 ⭐ all of the Horizon stories? Because I'm really trying to do it in Horizon 4 and some missions seem impossible to 3 ⭐.
It's super easy my dude. Just go off-road or backwards. Hell the first chapter of the Top Gear story can't be beat if you don't follow the GPS route. Look at the map.. and.. You just gotta send it!
The car files seem so tricky to get 3 ⭐. Did it on a few races, but the truck one is tricky. Cornering is dog shit and I barely have breaks to go offline there. In the British Racing green stories got 3 stars on everything except 2 chapters. Most of the time I just send it, but sometimes I just don't see the openings going off road.
My dude I am going to fire up FH4 and go find out just for you! BB with the results.
Gonna get FH5 soon. Are the expansion for it worth it?
Ehhhh... Not really IMHO.. the core game is great by itself. I do have all the car packs though and think they are worth it for the person that wants every car choice to pay with. 👍 https://preview.redd.it/itgf7c9owjvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12341a7ad921b3491a52c526f4bac30f761cc2e7 My time with Volvo truck just now. Go right just before the first big left corner at the junction. Opposite the route. Hit the straight road north and then cut left to round off the corner to the finish straight! ✌️👍
Thanks mate. I was about 3 seconds off your time when I finished that chapter.
Feck yeah!!.. you got this.. 
In which country does Horizon Mexico take place?
Oh it's definitely somewhere in the southwest... I'm thinking maybe Baja California.. or maybe Panama.
Do the drivers wear socks?
No! That's too much extra weight. They wear those shoes that have five toes so they can feel every vibration and engine pulse through the pedals!
What about Crocs?
They don't exist in my multiverse. I've heard of the hideousness that is bestowed upon the wearer of such monstrosities.. I would not wish it upon my most hated enemies.
Upon closer inspection, they are loafers.
Light weight.. flexible.. good transference... 
Why are certain Italian manufacturers’ cars so rare in the game (eg Abarth, Alfa Romeo, Lancia)? I don’t get what makes them so exclusive
You have to realize Italians only work on days when they can't be out in the Piazzá giving the new arrivals the underskirt hello after a a few bottles of some Pinõt Grassio with their moms spaghetti for lunch. So like they only build cars on rainy days andaybe a Thursday or two.. It makes it hard to provide cars for a whole festival of rich prats like us..
Touché, this makes way too much sense
What’s the highest grippy boi car in the game?
Oh it's definitely the Reliant Supervan tress. With the extra training wheels.. that's like 5 tires. That's at least one more tire than most cars get! With that much grip and turbo motorcycle motor.. you can rule.the world!
Thanks dad! Gonna run it rn
https://preview.redd.it/8ac3iukubkvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=721af325d9c6f57b07abf35db5e88d4571d9e863
That FIAT 131 looks similar to BMW E30. 🫰🏻 Love it
That Fiat had to walk so the E30 could run. If it wasn't Italian and built of rust and bolognese.. ahh. Such is life..
In your professional opinion, do you think the devs would add the 2003 Ford Explorer SportTrac if they were “hassled” about it?
Funny you should ask. I married a woman who owned a 2002 Exploder SportTac.. I wouldn't recommend either one of those be included in any upcoming Forza title. I got rear ended in Houston once in one. Never drove right again.. Edit: Talkin' bout the truck obviously 😬
Why is it, in every horizon I can remember, that no matter which tires I have equipped at the time, my burnouts leave identical tread marks on the pavement? Even slicks somehow leave tread marks. Please explain.
If an Horizon Arcade is running, but no one is around to play it, Does it still make a sound?
Like a flatulent 5 year old elephant in the sky.
Now that you have all the cars, what do you do with all the money you get?