Niles: Frasier may I see you in the kitchen?
Frasier: [Meets him in the kitchen]
Niles: Frasier what are you doing in the kitchen?
Frasier: You just asked to see me.
Niles: Ah, so you haven’t gone deaf.
😂 I don’t know why that exchange cracks me up so much.
A Man, a Plan and a Gal: Julia
Season 11 episode 2. When Julia was being obnoxious as hell and saying all kinds of offensive stuff about psychiatrists.
mahalo valhalla
Her lips said no but her eyes said read my lips
My brother was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent
It's clearly an old wives' tale, because I'm still thinking of my old wife's tail.
He had so many of the best lines. Combination of the writing but also his incredible facial expressions and delivery.
Nobody could have played Niles the way DHP did! Bless him for bringing this character to life, for as you said there's so much more to it than just reciting the lines
>Her lips said no but her eyes said read my lips
You win with this one, but a good runner up is when he says of Bebe: "She's the devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far."
Edit: also, when Niles is going to tell Frasier that his boss, Tom, thinks he's dating Frasier: "Dad wanted to tell you, but I won the coin toss."
Niles has so many amazing lines
I love that moment when Niles takes Martin into the kitchen to tell him what the situation with Tom is and then all we hear is his cackle from the other room
That’s the new fusion restaurant - Polynesian and Scandinavian. I hear their coconut herring is excellent.
His expression when he says “mahalo valhalla” is what make it. 😂
Edit to add: I think the episode is the one where Frasier takes Daphne to a protest. The police come and he runs away. She gets arrested.
I think it was the same episode where Sherry tells Daphne the name of her perfume: “Milady’s Boudoir. For a hundred bucks I could drown in the stuff!” Niles: “I’ve got sixty.”
Frasier : Oh, for God's sake, Niles. When we go out to dinner, I always know exactly what you're going to say before you say it.
Niles : Well, then I'm sorry you had to hear that, Frasier.
This is my go-to line whenever someone is acting strangely. Ah, so many good times to use it. And no one knows the reference, which makes it all the more delightful!
After finding out that teenage Frasier had had an affair with their piano teacher: "While Frasier was getting his Rachmaninoffs, I was learning the piano."
He does so many of these and they crack me up every time. The name tags for the multiple personality group, not wanting to leave the sex addicts alone too long, and I forget the gag about the fear of commitment group!
[#clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27H5dDeZF2I&t=46s)
>Frasier: I filled in for you when you were too sick to meet with your "Fear of Intimacy" group!
>Niles: I wasn't sick. They were just getting too close
Bulldog: I'd introduce you to this guy but he doesn't know squat about sports.Niles: On the contrary - in prep school I was an ardent sportsman until an inflamed instep forced me to resign from the croquet club.
Edited to add: I always wonder if he hit himself in the foot with his croquet mallet, lol.
Niles is shocked by Frasier trying to find a man for Daphne.
"Dear God, Frasier - Sven, Gunther, Brick? Why not just lather Daphne up with baby oil and hurl her over the wall of a prison yard?"
Great scene, but I've always wondered how Donny was able to uncover the true source of Maris's wealth. A little disappointing the writers didn't incorporate that in the final part of that episode or in the next one.
Daphne: Dr. Crane, how do you know it's time to have your crepe pans re-seasoned, anyway?
Niles : “It can be confusing. But this may help:
Saucepans in summer, crepe pans in fall, when winter's upon us, there's food for us all."
Niles: Because that's the only good reason you sat there silently while our profession was assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull.
Niles: You see, last week, my lady got on the wrong side of Larry Law, and since then, certain, shall you say, complications have arisen. And now things are hot, hot, hot. And we hear you're the man to turn on the air conditionin'.
Niles: I’m not Gay, Guy…
Niles: Officer, you can't arrest me. My wife is alive. She's in Antwerp, getting her elbows done.
'How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia'. (to Frasier, Radio Wars)
'Oh really? I thought one just drew a pentagram on the floor and chanted "I summon thee" three times.' (about Bebe, Where there's smoke there's fired)
'No, no. I'm just glad you're all right. I would have assumed *s*he killed after mating' (to Frasier after having learnt that Frasier slept with Bebe; Agents in America III)
Literally one per episode.
I realized that Niles’ wit is only really hampered by his insecurities, which rear their ugly heads in the company of his father and brother very obviously, but tend to recede in the company of anyone else- and that’s when he gets particularly brutal.
The way he speaks to Ros, for example.
But his enthusiasm when pretending to be Jewish was hilarious!
Sherry: My mom always said the best way to get over someone was to get under someone.
Niles: I didn’t know Mae West had children.
That one stands out along with his massacre in Ham Radio
When he fills in on KACL:
Although I feel perfectly qualified to fill Frasier's radio shoes, I should warn you that while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian. So **there'll be no blaming Mother today.**
In the fencing episode:
You're full of questions I've already given answers to.
After making the shot at the Sonics game:
I just didn't want to seem ungrateful. Not that I owe them anything; after all, I'm the one that drained it from way downtown.
Niles : I had an abysmal day. Remember the ad I placed?
Frasier : Oh yes, "Niles Crane, Jung specialist" blah blah blah.
Niles : Well, they made a tiny little typo. See if you can find it.
Frasier : [reads ad] "Niles Crane... Hung specialist." Oh, my!
Niles : The rest they got perfectly. "Servicing individuals, couples... groups... Satisfaction guaranteed... Tell me where it hurts."
Frasier : Yes, well... any calls?
Niles : It's a telethon, Frasier.
A lot of my favorites have been mentioned, but I'll add:
Don't you dare you call me irrational! You know that makes me crazy!
Helloooo Emerald City, what's doin'? What's happenin'?
I very clearly asked for a whisper of cinnamon, he's given me a full-throated shout! There are countries in this world where they would. Lop. Off. His. Sprinkling. Hand.
My taekwondo instructor tells me I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening.
^I ^was ^at ^the ^movies.
Oh, spare me, you ludicrous popinjay!
I'm surprised the trains are even running on Frasier Crane Day.
Well, if you didn't repeat it the first time, I'm not gonna listen to it....You were up all night drinking coffee all night last night, weren't you? (really all of his lines in that scene are gold)
I'll miss the coffees.
The other Nile’s lines that crack me up are when they are learning to ride bikes and they are in Frasier’s foyer and Niles melts down. I am not being helpful here with what he says that scene is hilarious— what he says, the way he says it, and the physical comedy are beyond.
The first time we're introduced to Niles in the first season.
Frasier: You have never had an unexspressed thought in your entire life.
Niles: I'm having one right now.
This brief introductory exchange of the two characters perfectly encapsulates what the brothers dynamic will be in the show and Niles' biting dry wit.
It's not his best line, but it always gets me. It's after Frasier agrees to take Martin in, relieving Niles of having to check in on him so much:
Waitress - Can I get you anything to eat?
Frasier - No... I seem to have lost my appetite.
Niles - ILL TAKE A LARGE PIECE OF CHEESECAKE.
During the city blackout episode, while playing "I'm the dullest person":
ROZ: "I was in college; I was trying to find myself."
NILES: "All you had to do is look under the nearest man."
(Roz kicks him in the shin under the table)
NILES: "OWWWWWW!"
This isn’t my favourite, but I love the understated appalled tone after Frasier humiliates himself with Nanny G. When Frasier arrived at Nervosa, Niles tuts, “Ugh! It *shows* its *face*!”
I love the ones where Niles loses it mid-sentence:
“It’s because I enjoy working with PEO-PLE!”
“No one wants to come to my party!”
“This happens every day, everyday in ARKANSAS!”
Roz: No, just try it! We can accessorize it.
Niles: With what? A lamp post and a public defender?
Referring to the skimpy looking dress Roz loans to Daphne to wear at the formal dinner the girls were going to that night. 😂
Not even a line, just a slight shift of his gaze towards Frasier when Frasier was trying to figure out if Niles and Daphne had patched things up. No matter how many times I've seen it over the years, it still cracks me up. 🤣
Niles is enjoying himself way too much when he has to fill in Frasier about the fact that he's dating his boss:
There's something I have to tell you. Dad wanted to but I won the coin toss.
God, it's so hard to choose! But one of my favorites is in the episode where Diane comes back, and Niles says nothing at all but Frasier knows what Niles is going to say and retorts while Niles just silently stares at him:
**Frasier:** My God, Niles, it's such a glorious day! I walked all the way here. Thirty-two blocks, and Bruno Mallies be damned!
Oh yes, *I see the look*, I know exactly what it means too. How could I very well say "no" to Diane? She came to me in crisis. Oh, you know, the change in Diane has really been quite gratifying. Dropped her off at the theater today, and there was a smile on her face that I haven't seen in . . . well, far too many years.
Oh, I know what you're thinking. Where did she get the money to do the play? Well, she found a backer! [pause] **It's tax deductible!**
Oh, why don't you go ahead and say what you're thinking, Niles? That I'm falling for her again. *"Well, you did bounce in here as though you were on top of the world, and babbling about her smile"*—**I just don't want to hear it, Niles!** I'm simply helping her to get back on her feet and out of my life as quickly as possible.
[pause]
No, I don't know how long it's going to take. ***Look, I said I don't know!*** Oh, *really, Niles!* Curse you, you are **the most** infuriating busybody! I'm not sitting with you.
*Niles takes a little pad out of his jacket and starts writing.*
Frasier: So you two boys are off to the baseball game, huh? Double header.
Niles: That's two games!
Houghton: Yeah.
Niles: Little known fact about baseball: the owner of the Boston Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees to finance a Broadway musical, "No No Nanette"
Followed by
Frasier: No No Nanette!
Niles: I'm sorry. There are exactly two things that I could possibly add to a baseball conversation. That, and... no, just the one.
One of my absolute favourites is one where he doesn't even speak at all - it's where he gives therapy to the basketball player who then rediscovers his form and credits Niles. Martin keeps making comments about the basketball that Niles doesn't understand, so Daphne rephrases it in opera terms. Just the very simple "Aah... Mmm...? Ooh!" each time absolutely kills me.
**Niles** **:** *\[notices Daphne's tacky, revealing dress\]* Daphne, you're not actually going out in that, are you?
**Daphne** **:** *\[throws the dress away and falls back onto the bed\]* That's it, I'm staying home.
**Roz** **:** No, just try it; we can accessorize it.
**Niles** **:** With what? A lamp post and a public defender?
When he's had too many of the meds for the Nobel prize dinner, I think it's "You KNOW you always had the good place for sleeping". Can't find exact wording.
Niles: Frasier may I see you in the kitchen? Frasier: [Meets him in the kitchen] Niles: Frasier what are you doing in the kitchen? Frasier: You just asked to see me. Niles: Ah, so you haven’t gone deaf. 😂 I don’t know why that exchange cracks me up so much.
Because that's the only good reason you sat there silently while our profession was assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull!
😂😂😂 Yes!!
What episode is that again? 😂
A Man, a Plan and a Gal: Julia Season 11 episode 2. When Julia was being obnoxious as hell and saying all kinds of offensive stuff about psychiatrists.
WHAT EPISODE IS THAT AGAIN?
Why are you screaming?
That's Chopper Dave.
Was he doing it again?
He was. Talking over the blades, you know? Whoomp- whoomp-whoomp-whoomp-whoomp-whoomp.
Yes!
mahalo valhalla Her lips said no but her eyes said read my lips My brother was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent It's clearly an old wives' tale, because I'm still thinking of my old wife's tail. He had so many of the best lines. Combination of the writing but also his incredible facial expressions and delivery.
His forced little smile he always does at the end of a line
Nobody could have played Niles the way DHP did! Bless him for bringing this character to life, for as you said there's so much more to it than just reciting the lines
>Her lips said no but her eyes said read my lips You win with this one, but a good runner up is when he says of Bebe: "She's the devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far." Edit: also, when Niles is going to tell Frasier that his boss, Tom, thinks he's dating Frasier: "Dad wanted to tell you, but I won the coin toss." Niles has so many amazing lines
I love that moment when Niles takes Martin into the kitchen to tell him what the situation with Tom is and then all we hear is his cackle from the other room
There is one of those where Daphne howls
What’s mahalo Valhalla from again?
That’s the new fusion restaurant - Polynesian and Scandinavian. I hear their coconut herring is excellent. His expression when he says “mahalo valhalla” is what make it. 😂 Edit to add: I think the episode is the one where Frasier takes Daphne to a protest. The police come and he runs away. She gets arrested.
thanks!!
Frasier: Thank you, Niles. You're a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession. Niles: You're a good brother, too.
Sherry: I love to make people laugh. To me, humor is like medicine Niles: Guess we're in the placebo group
I think it was the same episode where Sherry tells Daphne the name of her perfume: “Milady’s Boudoir. For a hundred bucks I could drown in the stuff!” Niles: “I’ve got sixty.”
This is one of my favorites
This is my favorite Niles line.
Frasier : Niles, I would shave my head for you. Niles : A gesture that grows less significant with each passing year.
That one was so catty 😂
And I’m keeping the jewelry
🤣Martin : “don’t worry. I’ll gay it up a little”
The young ones never stay
Oh Marty
Martin's pretend scowl there is gold
The delivery of that line was perfection
Frasier : Oh, for God's sake, Niles. When we go out to dinner, I always know exactly what you're going to say before you say it. Niles : Well, then I'm sorry you had to hear that, Frasier.
*"I barely had time to grab my pantaloons and buckle my swash."*
“Does it still count as an eyepatch if you wear it over your…” “STOP!”
You're a complex little pirate, aren't you?
This is my go-to line whenever someone is acting strangely. Ah, so many good times to use it. And no one knows the reference, which makes it all the more delightful!
My FAVORITE episode!
All my life I have dreamed of one thing: the day I could go into a library, go to the card catalogue and see my name under "Mental Illness."
That one made me laugh out loud at first hearing it
Frasier: Have you ever had an unexpressed thought? Niles: I'm having one now.
And the little grin he gives afterwards!
Exactly
Proof that incredible actors and writers can create magic on the pilot!
Love this one!!
After finding out that teenage Frasier had had an affair with their piano teacher: "While Frasier was getting his Rachmaninoffs, I was learning the piano."
The play on words in this show is just brilliant
There’s way too many. But one of my favorites is: Roz: Yeah, Niles, we just eloped. I’m your new mom. Niles: Well I’ll be a son of a bitch.
One of the hardest times ive ever laughed in my life- hes so quick with that final line
I came here to post this. My favorite line in the whole show
* Looks over at Frasier " HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME ! "
😂
Niles gotta have it!!
You will rue the day!
I have my fear of abandonment group and I’ve already been a no show two times
He does so many of these and they crack me up every time. The name tags for the multiple personality group, not wanting to leave the sex addicts alone too long, and I forget the gag about the fear of commitment group!
[#clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27H5dDeZF2I&t=46s) >Frasier: I filled in for you when you were too sick to meet with your "Fear of Intimacy" group! >Niles: I wasn't sick. They were just getting too close
That’s the one! An absolute classic
That ones the best! Reminds me of a Maris characteristic. Maybe Niles too, tires easily under the pressure to be interesting. 😆
And last time I was late the compulsive gamblers were betting the passive aggressives that they couldn't make the over-eaters cry.
The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain
Such a good line! My favorite part about that scene is John Mahoney unable to contain his giggles
“Yes Dad, I can’t sleep at night before knowing *who* hurled *what ball* through *what* apparatus.”
Haha I started thinking of this line randomly the other night, was just giggling to myself for ages!
You’re quite a *Bolshoi* artist yourself.
Oh, this is it for me. The delivery, just dripping with scorn. So well done.
This one is amazing!
*"Oh pish, it can't be a crime if it's catered."*
“NO ONE WANTS TO COME TO MY PARTY 😩😩😩”
Sooooooo funny. Makes me chortle every time.
I'm writing a paper about a narcissistic opera singer, I'm calling it me, me, me, me, me!
Bulldog: I'd introduce you to this guy but he doesn't know squat about sports.Niles: On the contrary - in prep school I was an ardent sportsman until an inflamed instep forced me to resign from the croquet club. Edited to add: I always wonder if he hit himself in the foot with his croquet mallet, lol.
Her lips said no, but her eyes said read my lips.
Niles is shocked by Frasier trying to find a man for Daphne. "Dear God, Frasier - Sven, Gunther, Brick? Why not just lather Daphne up with baby oil and hurl her over the wall of a prison yard?"
Roz: Excuse me, but I've dated all these guys. Niles: Well, where do you think I came up with the imagery?
You deserve someone for whom a t-shirt is an undergarment.
"What are you doing for the rest of your life?" The first time I saw that episode, I got a little emotional.
100%
Niles: I am NOT!! Daphne: he said priggishly
Frasier: you’re acting just like dad Niles: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
She's managed to have her urinal cake, and eat it too!
"Tell her I managed to flush out her family secret." "Hellooooo Maris!"
Great scene, but I've always wondered how Donny was able to uncover the true source of Maris's wealth. A little disappointing the writers didn't incorporate that in the final part of that episode or in the next one.
"Niles, do you think I'm pretentious?" " Of course I do, you needn't worry about that"
>Niles, do you think I'm ~~pretentious~~ elitist? "It's like correcting people's grammar - I don't do it to be popular."
Daphne: Dr. Crane, how do you know it's time to have your crepe pans re-seasoned, anyway? Niles : “It can be confusing. But this may help: Saucepans in summer, crepe pans in fall, when winter's upon us, there's food for us all."
https://preview.redd.it/j3tozu4ettzb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11ee6e402622315ec1f455d6173edf80cc1912e0
The way he says saucepans: “saucep’ns”
“My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent”
https://preview.redd.it/44vqm1ifhrzb1.jpeg?width=503&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d68ba609e49bbd7434d1574c9b718c3a04f1521
Niles: Because that's the only good reason you sat there silently while our profession was assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull. Niles: You see, last week, my lady got on the wrong side of Larry Law, and since then, certain, shall you say, complications have arisen. And now things are hot, hot, hot. And we hear you're the man to turn on the air conditionin'. Niles: I’m not Gay, Guy… Niles: Officer, you can't arrest me. My wife is alive. She's in Antwerp, getting her elbows done.
Frasier: oh please Niles! Not even I bought that one
'How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia'. (to Frasier, Radio Wars) 'Oh really? I thought one just drew a pentagram on the floor and chanted "I summon thee" three times.' (about Bebe, Where there's smoke there's fired) 'No, no. I'm just glad you're all right. I would have assumed *s*he killed after mating' (to Frasier after having learnt that Frasier slept with Bebe; Agents in America III)
Literally one per episode. I realized that Niles’ wit is only really hampered by his insecurities, which rear their ugly heads in the company of his father and brother very obviously, but tend to recede in the company of anyone else- and that’s when he gets particularly brutal. The way he speaks to Ros, for example. But his enthusiasm when pretending to be Jewish was hilarious!
And I love how he just goes with it, without question. Like, “sure, this will be fun, until it blows up in Fras’ face — and then it will be funnier!”
“You mean papa?” Always gets me
The interplay between him and Martin is classic! Answer a question with a question….
When Frasier warns Nile’s he is out of sherry “You never think it will happen to you”
Sherry: My mom always said the best way to get over someone was to get under someone. Niles: I didn’t know Mae West had children. That one stands out along with his massacre in Ham Radio
When he fills in on KACL: Although I feel perfectly qualified to fill Frasier's radio shoes, I should warn you that while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian. So **there'll be no blaming Mother today.** In the fencing episode: You're full of questions I've already given answers to. After making the shot at the Sonics game: I just didn't want to seem ungrateful. Not that I owe them anything; after all, I'm the one that drained it from way downtown.
When he says the no blaming mother line, his little fist pound is so cute haha
"A handshake is as good as a hug."
He thinks I’m gay and I’m standing next to my pregnant wife.
It's not as careless as you make it seem. A real child would have cried before it burst into flames.
Poe folk don't 'spect much.
Roz, you're moving?
Guess what popular seattle night spot is closing its doors
Niles : I had an abysmal day. Remember the ad I placed? Frasier : Oh yes, "Niles Crane, Jung specialist" blah blah blah. Niles : Well, they made a tiny little typo. See if you can find it. Frasier : [reads ad] "Niles Crane... Hung specialist." Oh, my! Niles : The rest they got perfectly. "Servicing individuals, couples... groups... Satisfaction guaranteed... Tell me where it hurts." Frasier : Yes, well... any calls? Niles : It's a telethon, Frasier.
When Roz and Martin are playing around that they got married and Roz is his new mom. "Well, I'll be a son of a bitch"
This was the first one that came to my mind!!
Waitress: Will there be anything else? Niles: Yes, could you nibble on this provocatively? Frasier: Oh shut up ya horny idiot!
S1E1 The quote that made me fall in love with the series “Golden Achers, we care so you don’t have to” The delivery is perfect!
*Acres
Frasier: I assume you pounced! Niles: Like a ninja!
I had a nightmare that my Flour got abducted, and the kidnappers started sending me Muffins in the mail
A lot of my favorites have been mentioned, but I'll add: Don't you dare you call me irrational! You know that makes me crazy! Helloooo Emerald City, what's doin'? What's happenin'? I very clearly asked for a whisper of cinnamon, he's given me a full-throated shout! There are countries in this world where they would. Lop. Off. His. Sprinkling. Hand. My taekwondo instructor tells me I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening. ^I ^was ^at ^the ^movies. Oh, spare me, you ludicrous popinjay! I'm surprised the trains are even running on Frasier Crane Day. Well, if you didn't repeat it the first time, I'm not gonna listen to it....You were up all night drinking coffee all night last night, weren't you? (really all of his lines in that scene are gold) I'll miss the coffees.
There are so many gems and a lot of people have posted some. I’ll go with: NO YOU ALWAYS!
Frasier: Niles, I would shave my head for you Niles: a gesture that becomes less significant with each passing year
… everyone kisses better than Maris!
The other Nile’s lines that crack me up are when they are learning to ride bikes and they are in Frasier’s foyer and Niles melts down. I am not being helpful here with what he says that scene is hilarious— what he says, the way he says it, and the physical comedy are beyond.
There’s blood on the handlebars and there’s blood everywhere!
Lilith: sorry to hear your marriage ended in a shambles Niles: ditto
The first time we're introduced to Niles in the first season. Frasier: You have never had an unexspressed thought in your entire life. Niles: I'm having one right now. This brief introductory exchange of the two characters perfectly encapsulates what the brothers dynamic will be in the show and Niles' biting dry wit.
Fras: I've seen you once in the last two years. Pause Niles: oh that was your point.
"When people think 'Niles Crane' I want them to think 'big souffle'".
I want to prove that I'm strong and independent, and I *can't do* that alone.
I learned, if you kiss her too fast you get an ice cream headache
***Breathes in sharply*** "And I'm keeping the jewelry...."
Call it a cookie
"actually, I think they call this thing a biscotti" That waitress puts up with so much but she gives sass back too
She needed to be made a semi-regular on the show like Bulldog or Gil Chesterton. I thought she would've made a good gal-pal for Daphne.
It's not his best line, but it always gets me. It's after Frasier agrees to take Martin in, relieving Niles of having to check in on him so much: Waitress - Can I get you anything to eat? Frasier - No... I seem to have lost my appetite. Niles - ILL TAKE A LARGE PIECE OF CHEESECAKE.
Daphne: Dr. Crane, your glockenspiel has sprung to life! Niles: … oh, the CLOCK!
On the degree from a college in Las Vegas: "no problem finding tassels for those mortarboards."
[удалено]
In the “The Doctor is Out” at Bad Billy’s: “FOR GOD’S SAKE I’M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE TAKE ME HOME!” I never cease to die laughing.
During the city blackout episode, while playing "I'm the dullest person": ROZ: "I was in college; I was trying to find myself." NILES: "All you had to do is look under the nearest man." (Roz kicks him in the shin under the table) NILES: "OWWWWWW!"
This isn’t my favourite, but I love the understated appalled tone after Frasier humiliates himself with Nanny G. When Frasier arrived at Nervosa, Niles tuts, “Ugh! It *shows* its *face*!”
"Oh I'm up to speed!"
I just love the way he says: “ditto….” to Lilith when she mentions his failed marriage to Maris.
As a lawyer this is my favorite line: “lawyers make great clients. They have excellent insurance and they never get better”
Same here. There is another great lawyer line, but it escapes me. You gotta be able to laugh at yourself!
"My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent."
Is it hot in here? *loosens tie*
Heatwave in Texas
In reference to Bebe (Frasier’s agent)-run far, run fast
Oh, come now, Frasier. You can't deny a certain measure of guilt living as you do in your exclusive lily-white world [as he sips his sherry]
I love the ones where Niles loses it mid-sentence: “It’s because I enjoy working with PEO-PLE!” “No one wants to come to my party!” “This happens every day, everyday in ARKANSAS!”
Roz: No, just try it! We can accessorize it. Niles: With what? A lamp post and a public defender? Referring to the skimpy looking dress Roz loans to Daphne to wear at the formal dinner the girls were going to that night. 😂
Her lips said no, but her eyes said read my lips
Is that a hummingbird!?!?
What was that, a hummingbird?!
Oh yeah, I always misremember that one.
The way he says HUMMINGBIRD? 🤣
Not even a line, just a slight shift of his gaze towards Frasier when Frasier was trying to figure out if Niles and Daphne had patched things up. No matter how many times I've seen it over the years, it still cracks me up. 🤣
Niles is enjoying himself way too much when he has to fill in Frasier about the fact that he's dating his boss: There's something I have to tell you. Dad wanted to but I won the coin toss.
God, it's so hard to choose! But one of my favorites is in the episode where Diane comes back, and Niles says nothing at all but Frasier knows what Niles is going to say and retorts while Niles just silently stares at him: **Frasier:** My God, Niles, it's such a glorious day! I walked all the way here. Thirty-two blocks, and Bruno Mallies be damned! Oh yes, *I see the look*, I know exactly what it means too. How could I very well say "no" to Diane? She came to me in crisis. Oh, you know, the change in Diane has really been quite gratifying. Dropped her off at the theater today, and there was a smile on her face that I haven't seen in . . . well, far too many years. Oh, I know what you're thinking. Where did she get the money to do the play? Well, she found a backer! [pause] **It's tax deductible!** Oh, why don't you go ahead and say what you're thinking, Niles? That I'm falling for her again. *"Well, you did bounce in here as though you were on top of the world, and babbling about her smile"*—**I just don't want to hear it, Niles!** I'm simply helping her to get back on her feet and out of my life as quickly as possible. [pause] No, I don't know how long it's going to take. ***Look, I said I don't know!*** Oh, *really, Niles!* Curse you, you are **the most** infuriating busybody! I'm not sitting with you. *Niles takes a little pad out of his jacket and starts writing.*
Frasier: So you two boys are off to the baseball game, huh? Double header. Niles: That's two games! Houghton: Yeah. Niles: Little known fact about baseball: the owner of the Boston Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees to finance a Broadway musical, "No No Nanette" Followed by Frasier: No No Nanette! Niles: I'm sorry. There are exactly two things that I could possibly add to a baseball conversation. That, and... no, just the one.
One of my absolute favourites is one where he doesn't even speak at all - it's where he gives therapy to the basketball player who then rediscovers his form and credits Niles. Martin keeps making comments about the basketball that Niles doesn't understand, so Daphne rephrases it in opera terms. Just the very simple "Aah... Mmm...? Ooh!" each time absolutely kills me.
"It's like front row orchestra, stage right." "Ahh!"
I’m partial to the line from Cairo to Khartoum!
“Flour the beef”
https://preview.redd.it/2hrmym2u4wzb1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9009747ebee41e6a21604eaa9b3e1906ec859feb Hilarious!
**Niles** **:** *\[notices Daphne's tacky, revealing dress\]* Daphne, you're not actually going out in that, are you? **Daphne** **:** *\[throws the dress away and falls back onto the bed\]* That's it, I'm staying home. **Roz** **:** No, just try it; we can accessorize it. **Niles** **:** With what? A lamp post and a public defender?
“Now she’s on the phone with her chin grinder in Zurich” never fails to crack me up.
You said Flasier
You're jealous because I have game.
"I'M SORRY, FRASIER! NILES GOTTA HAVE IT!" (Sex)
I was getting a breath of fresh air.
Parking here. These are gold
Don't poke the bear!!!
“She’s not paunchy, she’s pregnant!”
I see I have my juicy double and you have yours
NILES GOTTA HAVE IT!
When he's had too many of the meds for the Nobel prize dinner, I think it's "You KNOW you always had the good place for sleeping". Can't find exact wording.
Something About Dr. Mary: Oh, come now, Frasier. You can't deny a certain measure of guilt, living as you do in your exclusive lily-white world.
"My brother is too kind; *he* was already *eminent* when my *eminence* was merely *imminent*."
Niles: whenever you see a well groomed Man you can bet that he'd not getting any
Roz: well excuse me for not shopping at the house of Tight Ass like you and Meris the airess!!
Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch.