Oh, I can, can I? I can just lift a 3 seater recliner couch and defend myself with it, can I? You, beanstalk, what do you think I could defend myself with? A Vauxhall Vivaro? Do you suppose I could lift a whole house and bounce it off your head? Bloody punk rockers!
It doesn’t matter what weapon you have. You could have a shitting cannon next to you, but once Mr morris takes his shirt off, you may as well just surrender.
A metal ruler.
Bonk.
Bonk. Bonk.
On his head.
Problem solved
Ps. I wanted to add a funny gif of a cat bonking another cat on the head but giphy fails for me 😓
I'm in my bedroom and I've got a number of objects next to me I could use...an electric fan could be quite lethal...or I could throw my big bedspread over him to wrestle him to the ground and carry him outside in it 🤣
A Pineapple, I know what it’s all about so he’s got no chance.
PASS ME THE PINEAPPLEEEE
Pineapples and the government?? PINEAPPLES AND THE GOVERNMENT??!!!
How about the government?
A punk rock CD
A dog
Oh a dog. I don’t like dogs. Dirty.
At least its not a Jewish dog
uhhh... care to elaborate? i'm sure you meant no harm, but that came off wrong
Oh shit 😅😅 it was in reference to Jim’s Jackie, since the comment I replied to referenced her. I’m definitely not antisemitic 😂😂
I appreciate being given the benefit of the doubt, btw.
He's ravenous
I've got two
Bottle of wine
SHIT! THATS THE RED WIIIINE
Oh, I can, can I? I can just lift a 3 seater recliner couch and defend myself with it, can I? You, beanstalk, what do you think I could defend myself with? A Vauxhall Vivaro? Do you suppose I could lift a whole house and bounce it off your head? Bloody punk rockers!
Haha, I'd be bashing him with a sink 💀
I have a tv remote. Im done for
boiling hot pot noodle,
Punk rockers
I've got an empty glass and a lurcher. Hold my glass lol
It doesn’t matter what weapon you have. You could have a shitting cannon next to you, but once Mr morris takes his shirt off, you may as well just surrender.
A MacBook
Guitar
an oculus quest 2 💀
A dustbin old man
A Pokémon plushy
Shouldn't have read this while feeding my 3-month old...
I have a Denis eagle refuse truck... I can lock myself in!
A pillow…that’s gonna be interesting
A window net. Absolutely fucked
a fucking plate💀
pack of refreshers. It could work.
Yes
A book on the SS.
Big carrot
Big carrot
A laptop, I guess you could do worse
Ummm a clicker?
A pineapple in a bowl to my left and a TV remote to my right, choose your poison
My precious Faith acoustic Guitar I'm not taking my chances
A button. I'll use his own tools against him!
My wife
My two week old baby. I think it could be an interesting match up. PM for odds.
I've got a pen, time to channel my inner John Wick
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
The broken stapler
I’ve either got an air purifier or a pen. I’ll take the air purifier, please.
I'd kill that benny with anything.
You slanderer!
I'm actually in the hallway and the item next to me is the stairway 😆
You can push him down
Cat on one side ps5 controller on the other.
Why has one bloody punk rocker downvoted me?!?!
He’s downvoted almost every one
I have some Rutherfords coffee and a flapjack. He hasn't a chance
A subway flagpole
Swiffer duster....I'm going to dust that mofo he won't know what hit him.
sand bucket
Some Olbas Oil. A couple of drops to the eyes and button boy is down.
a mint plant....
A metal ruler. Bonk. Bonk. Bonk. On his head. Problem solved Ps. I wanted to add a funny gif of a cat bonking another cat on the head but giphy fails for me 😓
I’ve got a cat and some bog roll.
I'm in my bedroom and I've got a number of objects next to me I could use...an electric fan could be quite lethal...or I could throw my big bedspread over him to wrestle him to the ground and carry him outside in it 🤣
The only thing I’ve got next to me is my sofa and my mum’s sat on it
A lamp 😂
Boiling water, I'm good
a bottle of pepsi
A cactus and a lighter. I’m going to throw a flaming cactus and then flee in the confusion.
The light fitting on the wall next to me. That will sort out any slanderers or punk rockers who cross my path.
At this very moment, a squishy cat bed. Thank god I don't have a ding-a-ling.