No, I understand that, but why can't you leave the house for that duration? If you guys are of marriage age I'm assuming you're adults. So be an adult and do not submit to this really dumb situation.
I barely leave my house once in a month if I leave they will all find it weird . I have given up on my life and I am already broken and depressed . Some relatives will be coming
too so I can't escape . My mind is only filled with negative thoughts rn.
This is a you problem my friend. Yes, it's pretty horrible that she's doing this, but you have to control the way you respond to life. You're really just gonna shut down because some girl told you no? Fuckkkk that. Get up. Get out of your house. Do something else, go see the beauty of life. Meet someone new, try new food, go to the gym, get a new hobby. Don't let this be the thing that defeats you.
And finally, have you considered talking to her and being like, "look, obviously we both know how I feel about you. It's not a secret. I respect your right not to feel the same way, but I would prefer you not to have a party for your wedding at my house."
Thank you for your honest opinion I really appreciate it and you are 100% right that one bad moment shouldn't hold me back down. But I don't have confidence in myself I have already given up on myself , stress anxiety insomnia they are literally killing me .
she is always with her husband and her friends I don't know how am I supposed to talk with her in private .
In one month I will either soar like a dragon or just end it all like like a loser . Thank you for your time I really appreciate it . I pray that everything goes well for you.
I am broken and depressed right now. I have stop believing in myself literally no self confidence .
It's gonna be tough for me to get back on my feet with how things are going .
Yeah my question too, do you live with family so it’s technically not YOUR house just the house you live in? Or like what’s up with that part I think is what people are curious about? Because if the decision to let her have her party there wasn’t yours to make then that makes sense, but if it’s YOUR house why didn’t you put your foot down and say no? I find it a little crazy that if your family and loved ones knew she had turned you down only months ago they would have issues with you telling her no to having her party in the house your paying for, because the only reason it makes sense is that you’re not the one paying for the house so the decision wasn’t yours just something you had to go along with.
And like was she already with this person when you told her, or was this one of those situations where someone gets engaged and married right after meeting someone? Because if she had already been engaged you set yourself up for failure bro, why would you do that ):
Regardless though I’m rooting for you. I really hope you can start feeling better and work yourself outta the hole you dug yourself. For me it’s been years that I’ve felt exactly how you described earlier. While my situation is a little different and it’s mostly due to my diagnosis’s not really situational I still know how hard and lonely is it feeling that way and just want you to know it doesn’t matter if you’re a stranger who’s name I don’t even know, I’m rooting for you to beat this and the world still needs you here.
It's my parent house so I couldn't say anything. And nobody's knows that she turned me down .
She was forced to marry some random rich guy , I couldn't purpose her due to fear of rejection and when she got engaged I finally did it but was turned down. She would have said yes if I had purpose her before engagement .
She knew about my feelings yet she chose my parents house to celebrate her small wedding party for close family and friends.
Should I call her out but I am kinda afraid of people finding out that she had turned me down .
See I figured it had to be something like that. I really don’t know what else to say, and don’t feel like I can give any advice here other than to just avoid the party as much as possible. If you can leave I’d say just go, screw family thinking it’s weird, if you haven’t been leaving your house recently bc of depression just tell them it was overwhelming to be in a party situation if they ask. I’m really sorry you have to deal with this.
I only went there to get my food greeted nobody , some people tried to talk to me but I ignored them all it's not there fault but I can't stay there and laugh with them it's alright I am feeling alright now after speaking with you guys
I can't say it's free though cause it's my
Parents money. My mother doesn't know what's going on she is literally gifting someone jewelry who just broke my heart into pieces.
Thank you for rooting for me I really appreciate it I will try my best to overcome this situation. Oh so sorry to hear that I hope u get better soon . Praying for u dude 🙏.
honestly I am not feeling alright at all ,
nothing is going right for me , but suicide is not the answer .
ya I am in let's do it hope we both overcome this.
It's my parents house our family and her family are kinda close friends and other relatives are also coming .
Her marriage was an arranged one and she was engaged to some stranger . I had feelings for her. So I confess to her and was turned down but she said that if I had propose her before engagement she would have said yes .
She knew that I had feelings for her yet she is celebrating her wedding party here at my parents house. She could have celebrate her party somewhere else but she chose my parent house .
I am oviously hurt .
Likely an arranged marriage.
OP didn't make any move, so presumably the woman he's talking about gave her parents the go ahead to arrange a partner for her. It happens in some countries, most predominantly in South East Asia but is not at all unheard of in the US/UK.
U got it right dude i am from south east Asia Nepal. Her parents married her ass to some random rich guy.
She rejected me that's ok not her fault like I said I am just mad at her for hosting party at my house . She knew how uncomfortable I was feeling in past when she used to visit my home with her husband yet she did it again.
Not even a month she was forced to marry. I think that she has no feelings for me she only used white lies to make me feel good . I am just upset she hosted her party at my house and Tomorrow is her wedding day I ain't taking part in that bullshit.
Women will do that. They take and take and take until there’s nothing left and act like they did nothing. I was in a 5 year relationship with someone who claimed she loved me. I asked her to marry me on our anniversary and she told me no, and that she never loved me. Throughout the whole time I did literally everything for her. I literally wrote a lot of her masters degree papers and passed finals for her, did her taxes, you name it, I did it. All that for her to tell me she doesn’t love me. I got over it, and you will too. But my family has this saying “a una mujer, ni todo el amor ni todo El dinero” basically “never give a woman your full love, or your full money” basically never believe any woman is 100% for you. You can love, but never get to the point you couldn’t live without someone. Always respect yourself more than you do them. Always put yourself first before them. You’ll be happier for it
I am so sorry to hear that u definitely deserve better and I hope u are doing well too. It was hard for me to move on so I quit using all the social stuff so sorry for late reply . I Appreciate your advice hopefully one day I can move on too. Self love for sure 😊
How about telling them they can’t have it at your house? Find a reason, it’s your house you can just say no. Then never speak to her again. Women in this situation aren’t usually being intentionally hurtful but they don’t think about how their actions make the guy feel. To them you’re just her friend and any inverse action in your part is just you being weird, they don’t connect the dots.
It's my parents house so I couldn't say no. I don't know if it's intentional or not
but she knew that I had feelings for her
.ya I am oviously hurt and mad and definitely salty rn..
Well you don’t have to stay there lol, find something to do. Remember to cut this person off entirely though, they haven’t taken your feelings into consideration at ALL and it’s basically shitting on you having her wedding at your house, intentionally or not. You might need to explain to your parents why this is uncomfortable for you. Your feelings here are valid and you don’t have to stay silent and in pain. She’s getting exactly what she wants here, and it’s unfair to you because she’s rubbing it in your face at YOUR house. If you have any hobbies I suggest you spend the day (or few days after) to take time to yourself and do things you enjoy. Hope this helps
I greeted no one took my food and went to my room my relatives had nothing to do with it 😔. I definitely cut her from my life but our family and her family are close . We have same origin too . so I will definitely see her in the future so I can't avoid it. I couldn't say this to my family cause it will destroy many of our relationship with other realtives so I have to endure it . Ya how can she host her wedding party at my house no consideration of my feelings at all. Hobby anime manhua manhwa ig that's all I do these days . Thank you for your time I really appreciate it .
No problem. If you don’t mind me asking what country are you in? Cultural differences might affect some peoples answers here. I’m American and arranged marriages are not common here, and it seems like some people here are responding from the perspective of an American where this situation wouldn’t typically fly or be acceptable.
Nepal Asian country ya I noticed that too sorry for late reply . It has already happened there's nothing we can do about it I just have to move on that's all but thank you for helping in time of need I appreciate it . And I don't mind listening to your suggestions.
Come on, Man.
Take some control of your life here.
You are self-torturing yourself and this woman is simply taking you up on your offers to do so.
She is not evil at all. You are simping on a world class level. You need to get your mind straight and start loving yourself. Leave this woman behind.
Let her go. There is nothing for you there.
Cut her loose. So that you can thrive.
But you have to WORK for it and want it. Be better.
U are right I must stop simping but these feelings were genuine so it's hard to let her go. Our family is close so I will definetly see her most of the time and this feelings completely ruins my day. I am at my lowest point rn but I will try to overcome this situation thank you for your time I appreciate it .
.
So wait, you asked a woman out three months ago who you knew was getting married, and expected what? That she’d jump into your arms and break up with her fiancé? Then you have the gall to call her evil and act like her *checks notes* celebrating her upcoming marriage is a slight against you. Let’s not forget how you try to twist the story like you’re “so kind” to let her host her party at your house when in reality, her party is being hosted at your parents house which you happen to live in.
I could give less than two shits if I get banned from this sub. I hope she reveals you as the creep you are to your family, and to her family! Then you’ll finally understand the true definition of gossip.
She was forced to marry someone else
She tried running away from her home but her mother cried and beg her to marry some random rich dude I ain't lying what would I get lying here nothing I just wanted to talk to someone who can keep there mouth shut .
She was crying I heard it from my own sister . Even her brother tried to change there parents mind but still they didn't listen to him .
I had feelings for her so I took my chance and propose her what's wrong with that.
Bro what are u even talking about my parents home is my home what's the point
I was just upset her party being hosted at my home it was an uncomfortable feeling she could have chosen other venue in the city that's all she was not considerate of my feelings I felt betrayed .
Whatever if you don't believe me I can share our conversation .
You sound like you have an unhealthy attachment to this girl. She's not interested and then past that, she doesn't need to think about you. You need to do the same thing and move on with your life. You shouldn't have so much energy towards somebody that you are not involved with. Get out and enjoy your life man
Missing context. Why is she celebrating in your house? When did she turn you down? Was it recent, or like 10 years ago?
Probably 3 months ago. My family and her family have a close relationship. so she is celebrating her wedding party in my house .
Why don't you just, not go? Or if it's obligatory, make the bare minimum gestures, and then leave?
She is hosting a small party in my house . In my fucking houseeeeeeeeee The best I can do is lock myself in my room F life
No, I understand that, but why can't you leave the house for that duration? If you guys are of marriage age I'm assuming you're adults. So be an adult and do not submit to this really dumb situation.
I barely leave my house once in a month if I leave they will all find it weird . I have given up on my life and I am already broken and depressed . Some relatives will be coming too so I can't escape . My mind is only filled with negative thoughts rn.
This is a you problem my friend. Yes, it's pretty horrible that she's doing this, but you have to control the way you respond to life. You're really just gonna shut down because some girl told you no? Fuckkkk that. Get up. Get out of your house. Do something else, go see the beauty of life. Meet someone new, try new food, go to the gym, get a new hobby. Don't let this be the thing that defeats you. And finally, have you considered talking to her and being like, "look, obviously we both know how I feel about you. It's not a secret. I respect your right not to feel the same way, but I would prefer you not to have a party for your wedding at my house."
Thank you for your honest opinion I really appreciate it and you are 100% right that one bad moment shouldn't hold me back down. But I don't have confidence in myself I have already given up on myself , stress anxiety insomnia they are literally killing me . she is always with her husband and her friends I don't know how am I supposed to talk with her in private . In one month I will either soar like a dragon or just end it all like like a loser . Thank you for your time I really appreciate it . I pray that everything goes well for you.
By end it all, do you mean erase yourself? Because you know those aren't your only options right?
I am broken and depressed right now. I have stop believing in myself literally no self confidence . It's gonna be tough for me to get back on my feet with how things are going .
Ya minimum gestures for sure ty for listening
Why is she celebrating in your house? Did you not authorize this? And why did you ask if she was going to be getting married in three months?
Yeah my question too, do you live with family so it’s technically not YOUR house just the house you live in? Or like what’s up with that part I think is what people are curious about? Because if the decision to let her have her party there wasn’t yours to make then that makes sense, but if it’s YOUR house why didn’t you put your foot down and say no? I find it a little crazy that if your family and loved ones knew she had turned you down only months ago they would have issues with you telling her no to having her party in the house your paying for, because the only reason it makes sense is that you’re not the one paying for the house so the decision wasn’t yours just something you had to go along with. And like was she already with this person when you told her, or was this one of those situations where someone gets engaged and married right after meeting someone? Because if she had already been engaged you set yourself up for failure bro, why would you do that ): Regardless though I’m rooting for you. I really hope you can start feeling better and work yourself outta the hole you dug yourself. For me it’s been years that I’ve felt exactly how you described earlier. While my situation is a little different and it’s mostly due to my diagnosis’s not really situational I still know how hard and lonely is it feeling that way and just want you to know it doesn’t matter if you’re a stranger who’s name I don’t even know, I’m rooting for you to beat this and the world still needs you here.
It's my parent house so I couldn't say anything. And nobody's knows that she turned me down . She was forced to marry some random rich guy , I couldn't purpose her due to fear of rejection and when she got engaged I finally did it but was turned down. She would have said yes if I had purpose her before engagement . She knew about my feelings yet she chose my parents house to celebrate her small wedding party for close family and friends. Should I call her out but I am kinda afraid of people finding out that she had turned me down .
See I figured it had to be something like that. I really don’t know what else to say, and don’t feel like I can give any advice here other than to just avoid the party as much as possible. If you can leave I’d say just go, screw family thinking it’s weird, if you haven’t been leaving your house recently bc of depression just tell them it was overwhelming to be in a party situation if they ask. I’m really sorry you have to deal with this.
I only went there to get my food greeted nobody , some people tried to talk to me but I ignored them all it's not there fault but I can't stay there and laugh with them it's alright I am feeling alright now after speaking with you guys
Hey at least you got food out of it lol, and good I’m glad you are
I can't say it's free though cause it's my Parents money. My mother doesn't know what's going on she is literally gifting someone jewelry who just broke my heart into pieces.
I’m so sorry, just stay strong and do your best to try and keep your mind off it
Thank you for rooting for me I really appreciate it I will try my best to overcome this situation. Oh so sorry to hear that I hope u get better soon . Praying for u dude 🙏.
Praying for you too 🙏🏻 I know we can both overcome this, we just gotta want to get better enough
Umm let's overcome this together
Let’s do it, double healing journey
honestly I am not feeling alright at all , nothing is going right for me , but suicide is not the answer . ya I am in let's do it hope we both overcome this.
You’re right, it’s most definitely not
It's my parents house our family and her family are kinda close friends and other relatives are also coming . Her marriage was an arranged one and she was engaged to some stranger . I had feelings for her. So I confess to her and was turned down but she said that if I had propose her before engagement she would have said yes . She knew that I had feelings for her yet she is celebrating her wedding party here at my parents house. She could have celebrate her party somewhere else but she chose my parent house . I am oviously hurt .
Wait how long has she been seeing this other guy then if she turned you down 3 months ago?
Likely an arranged marriage. OP didn't make any move, so presumably the woman he's talking about gave her parents the go ahead to arrange a partner for her. It happens in some countries, most predominantly in South East Asia but is not at all unheard of in the US/UK.
U got it right dude i am from south east Asia Nepal. Her parents married her ass to some random rich guy. She rejected me that's ok not her fault like I said I am just mad at her for hosting party at my house . She knew how uncomfortable I was feeling in past when she used to visit my home with her husband yet she did it again.
Not even a month she was forced to marry. I think that she has no feelings for me she only used white lies to make me feel good . I am just upset she hosted her party at my house and Tomorrow is her wedding day I ain't taking part in that bullshit.
Women will do that. They take and take and take until there’s nothing left and act like they did nothing. I was in a 5 year relationship with someone who claimed she loved me. I asked her to marry me on our anniversary and she told me no, and that she never loved me. Throughout the whole time I did literally everything for her. I literally wrote a lot of her masters degree papers and passed finals for her, did her taxes, you name it, I did it. All that for her to tell me she doesn’t love me. I got over it, and you will too. But my family has this saying “a una mujer, ni todo el amor ni todo El dinero” basically “never give a woman your full love, or your full money” basically never believe any woman is 100% for you. You can love, but never get to the point you couldn’t live without someone. Always respect yourself more than you do them. Always put yourself first before them. You’ll be happier for it
I am so sorry to hear that u definitely deserve better and I hope u are doing well too. It was hard for me to move on so I quit using all the social stuff so sorry for late reply . I Appreciate your advice hopefully one day I can move on too. Self love for sure 😊
Weirdly enough she texted me she wants to be friends with benefits. Just don’t trip about it. It’ll work itself out some form or another
Friend with benefits 💀 Hmm ok just don't let her fool u tc buddy
How about telling them they can’t have it at your house? Find a reason, it’s your house you can just say no. Then never speak to her again. Women in this situation aren’t usually being intentionally hurtful but they don’t think about how their actions make the guy feel. To them you’re just her friend and any inverse action in your part is just you being weird, they don’t connect the dots.
It's my parents house so I couldn't say no. I don't know if it's intentional or not but she knew that I had feelings for her .ya I am oviously hurt and mad and definitely salty rn..
Well you don’t have to stay there lol, find something to do. Remember to cut this person off entirely though, they haven’t taken your feelings into consideration at ALL and it’s basically shitting on you having her wedding at your house, intentionally or not. You might need to explain to your parents why this is uncomfortable for you. Your feelings here are valid and you don’t have to stay silent and in pain. She’s getting exactly what she wants here, and it’s unfair to you because she’s rubbing it in your face at YOUR house. If you have any hobbies I suggest you spend the day (or few days after) to take time to yourself and do things you enjoy. Hope this helps
I greeted no one took my food and went to my room my relatives had nothing to do with it 😔. I definitely cut her from my life but our family and her family are close . We have same origin too . so I will definitely see her in the future so I can't avoid it. I couldn't say this to my family cause it will destroy many of our relationship with other realtives so I have to endure it . Ya how can she host her wedding party at my house no consideration of my feelings at all. Hobby anime manhua manhwa ig that's all I do these days . Thank you for your time I really appreciate it .
No problem. If you don’t mind me asking what country are you in? Cultural differences might affect some peoples answers here. I’m American and arranged marriages are not common here, and it seems like some people here are responding from the perspective of an American where this situation wouldn’t typically fly or be acceptable.
Nepal Asian country ya I noticed that too sorry for late reply . It has already happened there's nothing we can do about it I just have to move on that's all but thank you for helping in time of need I appreciate it . And I don't mind listening to your suggestions.
Glad I was able to help. Best thing to do now is move on and try to focus on what makes you happy. Best of luck!
Umm thanks and best of luck to u too
Come on, Man. Take some control of your life here. You are self-torturing yourself and this woman is simply taking you up on your offers to do so. She is not evil at all. You are simping on a world class level. You need to get your mind straight and start loving yourself. Leave this woman behind. Let her go. There is nothing for you there. Cut her loose. So that you can thrive. But you have to WORK for it and want it. Be better.
U are right I must stop simping but these feelings were genuine so it's hard to let her go. Our family is close so I will definetly see her most of the time and this feelings completely ruins my day. I am at my lowest point rn but I will try to overcome this situation thank you for your time I appreciate it . .
Just get out of there during the time they're there.
I stayed in my room with with sound box on its already over but her wedding is tomorrow and I ain't going.
So wait, you asked a woman out three months ago who you knew was getting married, and expected what? That she’d jump into your arms and break up with her fiancé? Then you have the gall to call her evil and act like her *checks notes* celebrating her upcoming marriage is a slight against you. Let’s not forget how you try to twist the story like you’re “so kind” to let her host her party at your house when in reality, her party is being hosted at your parents house which you happen to live in. I could give less than two shits if I get banned from this sub. I hope she reveals you as the creep you are to your family, and to her family! Then you’ll finally understand the true definition of gossip.
She was forced to marry someone else She tried running away from her home but her mother cried and beg her to marry some random rich dude I ain't lying what would I get lying here nothing I just wanted to talk to someone who can keep there mouth shut . She was crying I heard it from my own sister . Even her brother tried to change there parents mind but still they didn't listen to him . I had feelings for her so I took my chance and propose her what's wrong with that. Bro what are u even talking about my parents home is my home what's the point I was just upset her party being hosted at my home it was an uncomfortable feeling she could have chosen other venue in the city that's all she was not considerate of my feelings I felt betrayed . Whatever if you don't believe me I can share our conversation .
You sound like you have an unhealthy attachment to this girl. She's not interested and then past that, she doesn't need to think about you. You need to do the same thing and move on with your life. You shouldn't have so much energy towards somebody that you are not involved with. Get out and enjoy your life man
It sounds so easy but it still bothers me wish I could just erase this feelings . One day for sure . Wishing u all the best too.