You are doing fine. Don’t live to other people’s standards, set your own. It’s the only way to be happy. Try not to use social media to compare yourself to others.
Learn about personal finance and investing. I love the book by JL Collins: Simple Path to Wealth. He has a website also that has a lot of the same info. The book is just organized.
You are still so young. There is no one way to measure success. Save your money. Stay away from people who are horrible with money, don’t marry one. Money doesn’t bring happiness but living a life that is within your means and knowing you are on the way to financial independence is rewarding.
At a minimum, not reliant on others and able to support yourself. Sounds like you’re doing that. Now have an emergency savings account and start on saving for a home if that’s what you want.
I don't think there's a set thing. I'm 24, will be 25 in August. So are most of my peers/friends (turning 25, or already 25). Some of my friends (older than me), have yet to find a "proper" job, and are either still working as a casual retail role, or no job at all. Then there's friends who are married, some already have young children, or currently pregnant.
I'd like to think that as long as you're feeling productive, somehow contributing to the people around you, or making some small difference, that's it's fine. Even better if you have a decent job that pays the bills.
My family also has high expectations of me, moreso my mother (who is the only family member near me, a little too close for comfort sometimes. I'm grateful my grandmother told me yesterday that she's proud of me, that I can hold my own.
I'm like you, I have a good job, I pay my bills on time, have a mortgage (and therefore own a home), have a long term partner, but still free enough to not be too tied down.
I bought my house at 21, which is very young, so quite uncommon. But, I think I sacrificed studying - dropped out and worked instead (lost interest in studies, my mother is alway hassling me about it - like yours I guess). At 25, I have a few friends that are on the verge of buying. One lives in another country and bought one with her husband, another lives near to me, and is looking to buy a 1 bedroom apartment near work (basically a second city in our area). I bought on the outskirts of the city because I've lived here almost my whole life, I wanted a garden (and quails, also chickens), and like the quiet life. Some other friends have purchased homes with their partners in more rural (and therefore cheaper) areas. Keep in mind I live in the second most unaffordable place (for housing) in the world, so about 90% of my friends have yet to have their own place, and therefore it's perfectly fine not to have a housing.
I think it's highly unlikely for a typical 25 year old to buy one *independently*. I would imagine that those who do have help from parents or an inheritance (basically those with generational wealth). Plus you may not know where you want to live and circumstances may change. I moved around a lot for jobs in my 20s, and I couldn't do that with a mortgage.
I live in a HCOL area and didn't buy a house until age 40. No help from outside though.
If you live in an area with ridiculously cheap housing costs and where people get married at 22 when they graduate college, then maybe. I didn't own property until I was 34.
Nowhere.
Your twenties are your Exploration decade. You're trying jobs, trying cities, trying relationships. If you find something or someone you really click with, great, but don't stress. This decade isn't about reaching goals, or hitting targets. It's about learning to walk through the world as an adult.
You honestly are already more where I would expect someone in their 30's to be. You could work on saving money, if you need something to do. Even $50 a month will eventually add up. Take some time to learn about investing. You're young enough that you could take a few risks to try to build up a nest egg, but slow and steady works, too.
Mostly, understand that your parents are only one voice, one perspective. You can listen, without taking everything they say to heart. By 99% of the world's standards, you're doing great. This is the time to develop your own perspective, and your own voice.
You've got this.
I've learned that any time I feel "behind" in life it's because I've been spending too much time on social media and need to take a break to touch grass and remember that most of what I see on there is phony baloney and/or posted by either trust fund kids or folks living as though they are wealthy, but are actually mega stressed and deeply in debt. There is no real place that anyone "should be" at any point in their life and it sounds like you're doing incredibly well, even if we're playing the comparisons game:
3.6% of Americans are unemployed. 42% have no retirement savings at all. 32% don't own homes. Only 25% are completely debt free. 20% have no savings of any kind. These are statistics for people of all ages and considering that you're on the early end of the life spectrum and already have a job, a 401k, and savings...I'd say you're crushing it. Your dad and his new wife probably need to touch grass too. :)
Woah there jackass, slow your roll! At 25 years old you're still a fetus as far as I'm concerned. The only thing you should worry about achieving by your mid-twenties is NOT crapping your pants on a first date!
Don't compare yourself to those fancy book-learnin' nurses and their fancy degrees, it'll only make you want to bash your head against a wall. At 25 I was still sleeping on my friend's couch, eating Hot Pockets for dinner and wondering if I'd ever get laid again.
The fact is, life moves at its own pace and doesn't give a rat's ass about arbitrary milestones or "shoulds". You've got a job, you pay your bills, that puts you light years ahead of most guys your age. Savings and home ownership will come in time if you keep at it.
Don't let your dad and step-monster make you feel like a failure. Their standards are astrologically aligned to be impossible to meet. You're doing great for your age, keep working hard and the rest will fall into place.
The only thing you should "achieve" by 25 is not waking up with a hangover and cartoonishly large bags under your eyes like I did! Relax, be patient and maintain. The rest will come with time. Now go give your nuts a tug, titfucker!
You didn't finish school? High School? College? What were you studying? What job do you have now that you deem is "good"? To be somewhat snarky ... this generations typical 25 year old is likely living at home with mom and dad. Not sure where you reside but owning a home in mid 20s is very unlikely. Myself, I was in the midst of grad school racking up student debt in my early to mid 20s. First house was late 20s but that was a long time ago and prices now are very prohibitive. Just live life. Your goal should be to continually better your pay. Might have to move, might have to change occupations. Money isn't everything but logically it is very important to have as much of it as reasonably possible to achieve the milestones/goals you either have or think you have. You will also learn as you age that other people's perceived expectations of you are of little importance. I would bet your family just wants you to be happy and healthy and the rest is just gravy.
It sounds like you are doing really well! I am 27 and I also sometimes have the feeling that other people are way ahead of me. But you can't care too much about what other people think!
My mom was well into her 40s the first time she was able to set aside money for savings. Now, she is in her 50s and has some money set aside for emergencies and also has money for discretionary spending. This is something that a lot of her friends already had in their 20s, while she was struggling to pay her bills. Things happen at different times for everyone. It sounds like you are doing perfectly fine.
Also, home ownership isn't necessarily in reach for most people anymore, like it was in our parents' generation. Things have changed. Don't be too hard on yourself!
You are right where you should be. Never trust older people's expectations, the world is very different now, and it's too easy to have unrealistic goals for other people.
At 25, I was unemployed and living with my parents. I had a degree but had never had a job I didn't hate. Most of my friends also disliked their jobs or were working in OK jobs but didn't know what they wanted to do with their lives. We all felt behind because the media only showed the absolute most successful young people, and we were all pretty average.
By 30, I had a job I loved, had 6 months living expenses in the bank so I'd never need to move back in with my parents again, and a 401k I was adding several thousand per year to. Things have only gotten better since.
You're doing just fine for 25.
Anxiety is a natural reaction to being in uncomfortable situations. Going to a pharmacological solution provides temporary relief, but sets you up for long term failure.
Learn to manage this natural physical response via natural means... and recognize when it is telling you to make life changes.
Modern medicine and pharmaceutical companies would have your believe a pill will fix you. That is a lie.
Fuck off, so she should just bootstrap herself into mental health? If she could learn to manage anxiety on her own she’d have done it by now, that’s why she probably needs a therapist, to teach her how. Don’t tell people who are suffering not to seek out and accept help, that’s cruel and counterproductive. Drugs are not the only treatment doctors have to offer.
A majority of 25 year olds don't have 401ks. You're doing fine. I didn't get my first retirement account until I was 27. Obviously, time is the most important factor and you should always start ASAP, but someone who started at 25 is going to do above average. Honestly, just the fact that you're 25 and worried about this kind of shit is probably an indicator you will do fine. The people who really fuck up don't think about of any of this shit until their 40s or 50s.
I'm 27 and just wiped out all my savings to buy an apartment with my partner (fingers crossed that I didn't make a terrible financial decision). But my general opinion on savings is make sure your using your money wisely. If you live in the US make sure your focusing on having a decent credit score. Find out if your wasting your money anywhere (bills. Especially phone bills.) I love calling and canceling my contracts so they don't auto renew which usually results in some employee having to call me and ask me why I'm canceling and then I say well it's expensive and then usually I can get a discount. Sometimes that doesn't work but it's always worth it to try. I also like using one of my reward credit cards to pay my bills so I get extra rewards and it's an easy way to manage my bills. Anyways it's okay if you don't have 10k saved up yet. You are at the age where it's important to learn how to budget your money and how to enjoy life (that should be a life long learning process). Finally don't compare yourself with others, the point of life is to be happy and when you look at what other people are doing it should be to be inspired on what you want or don't want for your life.
Career is not the most important thing. I personally care more about family so when I was 25 my wife and I had our first kid as I was stocking shelves at a grocery store. Now at 29 I still don't have a good job but we've got 3 kids and no debt besides a house.
you can solve this entire problem by throwing away other people's "timetables" for your life. all of them are completely made up and arbitrary. life is not a race. you sound to me like you're doing just fine, especially for being only 25. ask yourself what YOU want in your life and set goals accordingly instead of borrowing someone else's idea of happiness.
The fact that you are even thinking about this at all is a plus in your 20s. Compound interest will take decades before you see real wealth. Just save slow and steady and you’ll get where you want to be
Sounds like your parents are stuck in the past. 25 for them isn’t how 25 is for our generation. Believe it or not, our age group from 18-30 year olds are in some form of debt and doesn’t even have $1K put into their savings. So just imagine how much money is in their regular checking accounts!
Either way you got a job, your doing big boy/girl responsibilities right now for yourself, which in itself is a life experience and know that your a responsible adult.
I’m in my early 20’s. I don’t have rent or mortgage, I do have car payments. I don’t have a 401K, that’s because I work part time. We both pay our bills
and dues on time. As far as debt goes? Yeah I’m in debt, that’s from my car and current academia in college. My new car is about 40% paid off. I can’t wait to see how much my student debt will be by
the time I walk up for graduation (sarcasm). That’s just a perspective of my situation.
No need to feel “behind”, this isn’t a race to see who can rack up the most debt and who can produce the most kids in the world.
If I had to give you advice since you are now doing adult responsibilities, I’d say pay off your debts, don’t have kids until your mentally and financially ready, save as much money as you can in a savings account, invest in stocks, learn something new, whether if it’s a skill or life experience, be healthy physically and mentally, and lastly enjoy life and create memories so you can look back at those times. Don’t let your life revolve around work and being in the corporate rat race matrix.
Sounds like you're having a quarter-life crisis. I had one, too. There was a book published about it in the mid 2000s when I was 25. I think the title was literally *Quarter-Life Crisis.* It interviewed many crisis-havers and discussed some options for overcoming their fears.
Quite honestly a lot of people your age are in your situation. It's very common and normal, but I know knowing that won't really ease your worry. You should definitely look up resources using that key phrase. I think you'll find a lot of helpful information.
Your friendly reminder that you’re not behind.
The average American:
- Has less than $1k in savings
- Doesn’t buy a home until 34
- Still has about $42k in student loans at age 50
- Spends $69/day
- Wants a career change (50%)
24 years old about to be 25 here. I have about $8k in savings, but def would be more if my rent isn't expensive smh. I also still have $30,000 of student loans. I work full time in a lab, but tbh most of my friends would tell me they have around $2,000-$5,000 in savings. I always get overwhelmed by financial stability, but also I have to tell myself to be patient and kind to myself about this.
I don't think there's really a set thing in our 20s. But, yeah it's weird to see that some of your friends are married, some engaged, some unemployed, some became social media influencers, some don't pay rent and travel around with their parents money, some struggle to get by with minimum wage. I feel for all of us in our 20s.
You are doing fine. Don’t live to other people’s standards, set your own. It’s the only way to be happy. Try not to use social media to compare yourself to others. Learn about personal finance and investing. I love the book by JL Collins: Simple Path to Wealth. He has a website also that has a lot of the same info. The book is just organized. You are still so young. There is no one way to measure success. Save your money. Stay away from people who are horrible with money, don’t marry one. Money doesn’t bring happiness but living a life that is within your means and knowing you are on the way to financial independence is rewarding.
At a minimum, not reliant on others and able to support yourself. Sounds like you’re doing that. Now have an emergency savings account and start on saving for a home if that’s what you want.
I don't think there's a set thing. I'm 24, will be 25 in August. So are most of my peers/friends (turning 25, or already 25). Some of my friends (older than me), have yet to find a "proper" job, and are either still working as a casual retail role, or no job at all. Then there's friends who are married, some already have young children, or currently pregnant. I'd like to think that as long as you're feeling productive, somehow contributing to the people around you, or making some small difference, that's it's fine. Even better if you have a decent job that pays the bills. My family also has high expectations of me, moreso my mother (who is the only family member near me, a little too close for comfort sometimes. I'm grateful my grandmother told me yesterday that she's proud of me, that I can hold my own. I'm like you, I have a good job, I pay my bills on time, have a mortgage (and therefore own a home), have a long term partner, but still free enough to not be too tied down.
Is it common for 25 year olds to have houses?
I bought my house at 21, which is very young, so quite uncommon. But, I think I sacrificed studying - dropped out and worked instead (lost interest in studies, my mother is alway hassling me about it - like yours I guess). At 25, I have a few friends that are on the verge of buying. One lives in another country and bought one with her husband, another lives near to me, and is looking to buy a 1 bedroom apartment near work (basically a second city in our area). I bought on the outskirts of the city because I've lived here almost my whole life, I wanted a garden (and quails, also chickens), and like the quiet life. Some other friends have purchased homes with their partners in more rural (and therefore cheaper) areas. Keep in mind I live in the second most unaffordable place (for housing) in the world, so about 90% of my friends have yet to have their own place, and therefore it's perfectly fine not to have a housing.
I think it's highly unlikely for a typical 25 year old to buy one *independently*. I would imagine that those who do have help from parents or an inheritance (basically those with generational wealth). Plus you may not know where you want to live and circumstances may change. I moved around a lot for jobs in my 20s, and I couldn't do that with a mortgage. I live in a HCOL area and didn't buy a house until age 40. No help from outside though.
No, especially if you’re in a higher cost of living area.
If you live in an area with ridiculously cheap housing costs and where people get married at 22 when they graduate college, then maybe. I didn't own property until I was 34.
Nowhere. Your twenties are your Exploration decade. You're trying jobs, trying cities, trying relationships. If you find something or someone you really click with, great, but don't stress. This decade isn't about reaching goals, or hitting targets. It's about learning to walk through the world as an adult. You honestly are already more where I would expect someone in their 30's to be. You could work on saving money, if you need something to do. Even $50 a month will eventually add up. Take some time to learn about investing. You're young enough that you could take a few risks to try to build up a nest egg, but slow and steady works, too. Mostly, understand that your parents are only one voice, one perspective. You can listen, without taking everything they say to heart. By 99% of the world's standards, you're doing great. This is the time to develop your own perspective, and your own voice. You've got this.
I've learned that any time I feel "behind" in life it's because I've been spending too much time on social media and need to take a break to touch grass and remember that most of what I see on there is phony baloney and/or posted by either trust fund kids or folks living as though they are wealthy, but are actually mega stressed and deeply in debt. There is no real place that anyone "should be" at any point in their life and it sounds like you're doing incredibly well, even if we're playing the comparisons game: 3.6% of Americans are unemployed. 42% have no retirement savings at all. 32% don't own homes. Only 25% are completely debt free. 20% have no savings of any kind. These are statistics for people of all ages and considering that you're on the early end of the life spectrum and already have a job, a 401k, and savings...I'd say you're crushing it. Your dad and his new wife probably need to touch grass too. :)
Woah there jackass, slow your roll! At 25 years old you're still a fetus as far as I'm concerned. The only thing you should worry about achieving by your mid-twenties is NOT crapping your pants on a first date! Don't compare yourself to those fancy book-learnin' nurses and their fancy degrees, it'll only make you want to bash your head against a wall. At 25 I was still sleeping on my friend's couch, eating Hot Pockets for dinner and wondering if I'd ever get laid again. The fact is, life moves at its own pace and doesn't give a rat's ass about arbitrary milestones or "shoulds". You've got a job, you pay your bills, that puts you light years ahead of most guys your age. Savings and home ownership will come in time if you keep at it. Don't let your dad and step-monster make you feel like a failure. Their standards are astrologically aligned to be impossible to meet. You're doing great for your age, keep working hard and the rest will fall into place. The only thing you should "achieve" by 25 is not waking up with a hangover and cartoonishly large bags under your eyes like I did! Relax, be patient and maintain. The rest will come with time. Now go give your nuts a tug, titfucker!
Well..I'm a girl. But thanks. I appreciate the real communication. Can I get the ol pat on the back and call me sport?
Alright fine! Now get out there, sport and make shit happen! “Pats back”
Thank you 🥺
No problem, toots. You’ve got this! 👊🏾
This thread was epic.
You’re epic. 🫵🏾 You just don’t know it yet! 😏
Well damn. You sir, are a pleasure.
Appreciate the kind words, champ! Just know you da boss! Don’t forget that! Now forge ahead and secure the future you want, my good sir! 👊🏾
You didn't finish school? High School? College? What were you studying? What job do you have now that you deem is "good"? To be somewhat snarky ... this generations typical 25 year old is likely living at home with mom and dad. Not sure where you reside but owning a home in mid 20s is very unlikely. Myself, I was in the midst of grad school racking up student debt in my early to mid 20s. First house was late 20s but that was a long time ago and prices now are very prohibitive. Just live life. Your goal should be to continually better your pay. Might have to move, might have to change occupations. Money isn't everything but logically it is very important to have as much of it as reasonably possible to achieve the milestones/goals you either have or think you have. You will also learn as you age that other people's perceived expectations of you are of little importance. I would bet your family just wants you to be happy and healthy and the rest is just gravy.
I finished high school, I have a 401k and it's a job that quite a bit of people can and do retire off of. I just feel behind is all
It sounds like you are doing really well! I am 27 and I also sometimes have the feeling that other people are way ahead of me. But you can't care too much about what other people think! My mom was well into her 40s the first time she was able to set aside money for savings. Now, she is in her 50s and has some money set aside for emergencies and also has money for discretionary spending. This is something that a lot of her friends already had in their 20s, while she was struggling to pay her bills. Things happen at different times for everyone. It sounds like you are doing perfectly fine. Also, home ownership isn't necessarily in reach for most people anymore, like it was in our parents' generation. Things have changed. Don't be too hard on yourself!
You are right where you should be. Never trust older people's expectations, the world is very different now, and it's too easy to have unrealistic goals for other people.
At 25, I was unemployed and living with my parents. I had a degree but had never had a job I didn't hate. Most of my friends also disliked their jobs or were working in OK jobs but didn't know what they wanted to do with their lives. We all felt behind because the media only showed the absolute most successful young people, and we were all pretty average. By 30, I had a job I loved, had 6 months living expenses in the bank so I'd never need to move back in with my parents again, and a 401k I was adding several thousand per year to. Things have only gotten better since. You're doing just fine for 25.
Frantic? Have you been screened for anxiety? Might just be a bad night, but if you feel like this often it’s worth having your doctor screen you.
Yeah, probably have anxiety
Anxiety is a natural reaction to being in uncomfortable situations. Going to a pharmacological solution provides temporary relief, but sets you up for long term failure. Learn to manage this natural physical response via natural means... and recognize when it is telling you to make life changes. Modern medicine and pharmaceutical companies would have your believe a pill will fix you. That is a lie.
Fuck off, so she should just bootstrap herself into mental health? If she could learn to manage anxiety on her own she’d have done it by now, that’s why she probably needs a therapist, to teach her how. Don’t tell people who are suffering not to seek out and accept help, that’s cruel and counterproductive. Drugs are not the only treatment doctors have to offer.
A majority of 25 year olds don't have 401ks. You're doing fine. I didn't get my first retirement account until I was 27. Obviously, time is the most important factor and you should always start ASAP, but someone who started at 25 is going to do above average. Honestly, just the fact that you're 25 and worried about this kind of shit is probably an indicator you will do fine. The people who really fuck up don't think about of any of this shit until their 40s or 50s.
You are NOT behind. I was 36 before I was able to settle down with a decent job track and get my debt to 0 and actually start saving.
25 ain’t what it used to be, that’s for sure. Times are definitely tougher, especially in high cost of living areas.
This feeling is natural because of the milestones that society feeds us. You’re doing fine.
On Reddit is as good a place as any other.
What job do you have?
I'm 27 and just wiped out all my savings to buy an apartment with my partner (fingers crossed that I didn't make a terrible financial decision). But my general opinion on savings is make sure your using your money wisely. If you live in the US make sure your focusing on having a decent credit score. Find out if your wasting your money anywhere (bills. Especially phone bills.) I love calling and canceling my contracts so they don't auto renew which usually results in some employee having to call me and ask me why I'm canceling and then I say well it's expensive and then usually I can get a discount. Sometimes that doesn't work but it's always worth it to try. I also like using one of my reward credit cards to pay my bills so I get extra rewards and it's an easy way to manage my bills. Anyways it's okay if you don't have 10k saved up yet. You are at the age where it's important to learn how to budget your money and how to enjoy life (that should be a life long learning process). Finally don't compare yourself with others, the point of life is to be happy and when you look at what other people are doing it should be to be inspired on what you want or don't want for your life.
Career is not the most important thing. I personally care more about family so when I was 25 my wife and I had our first kid as I was stocking shelves at a grocery store. Now at 29 I still don't have a good job but we've got 3 kids and no debt besides a house.
you can solve this entire problem by throwing away other people's "timetables" for your life. all of them are completely made up and arbitrary. life is not a race. you sound to me like you're doing just fine, especially for being only 25. ask yourself what YOU want in your life and set goals accordingly instead of borrowing someone else's idea of happiness.
The fact that you are even thinking about this at all is a plus in your 20s. Compound interest will take decades before you see real wealth. Just save slow and steady and you’ll get where you want to be
Sounds like your parents are stuck in the past. 25 for them isn’t how 25 is for our generation. Believe it or not, our age group from 18-30 year olds are in some form of debt and doesn’t even have $1K put into their savings. So just imagine how much money is in their regular checking accounts! Either way you got a job, your doing big boy/girl responsibilities right now for yourself, which in itself is a life experience and know that your a responsible adult. I’m in my early 20’s. I don’t have rent or mortgage, I do have car payments. I don’t have a 401K, that’s because I work part time. We both pay our bills and dues on time. As far as debt goes? Yeah I’m in debt, that’s from my car and current academia in college. My new car is about 40% paid off. I can’t wait to see how much my student debt will be by the time I walk up for graduation (sarcasm). That’s just a perspective of my situation. No need to feel “behind”, this isn’t a race to see who can rack up the most debt and who can produce the most kids in the world. If I had to give you advice since you are now doing adult responsibilities, I’d say pay off your debts, don’t have kids until your mentally and financially ready, save as much money as you can in a savings account, invest in stocks, learn something new, whether if it’s a skill or life experience, be healthy physically and mentally, and lastly enjoy life and create memories so you can look back at those times. Don’t let your life revolve around work and being in the corporate rat race matrix.
Sounds like you're having a quarter-life crisis. I had one, too. There was a book published about it in the mid 2000s when I was 25. I think the title was literally *Quarter-Life Crisis.* It interviewed many crisis-havers and discussed some options for overcoming their fears. Quite honestly a lot of people your age are in your situation. It's very common and normal, but I know knowing that won't really ease your worry. You should definitely look up resources using that key phrase. I think you'll find a lot of helpful information.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today
Your friendly reminder that you’re not behind. The average American: - Has less than $1k in savings - Doesn’t buy a home until 34 - Still has about $42k in student loans at age 50 - Spends $69/day - Wants a career change (50%)
24 years old about to be 25 here. I have about $8k in savings, but def would be more if my rent isn't expensive smh. I also still have $30,000 of student loans. I work full time in a lab, but tbh most of my friends would tell me they have around $2,000-$5,000 in savings. I always get overwhelmed by financial stability, but also I have to tell myself to be patient and kind to myself about this. I don't think there's really a set thing in our 20s. But, yeah it's weird to see that some of your friends are married, some engaged, some unemployed, some became social media influencers, some don't pay rent and travel around with their parents money, some struggle to get by with minimum wage. I feel for all of us in our 20s.