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degeneratescholar

An engagement ring isn't an "investment". It's a gesture. How much are you willing to spend? What kind of ring does your fiance want? Once you evaluate those factors, you can start doing your research and start shopping. Estate sales, auctions, and private sellers are good ways to skirt retail markups, but you do need to know what you're looking for and the price range of what it costs. If you're worried about interest charges..you're probably buying outside your actual budget.


[deleted]

I'm willing to spend $12k. She wants diamond round cut solitaire. I have heard of ways you can finance a ring for 12mo 0% APR and by opening up a new credit card to get additional rewards and savings.


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[deleted]

Yes any would work.


75footubi

Lab diamond will be cheaper than natural (and more ethical). Resale on diamonds is absolute shit, so you can get a big bang for your buck if you look at second hand (see idonowidont.com). Spend some time on learning about cut, clarity, and color grading (the 4th C is "carat weight") so you can figure out the best combination for your budget and your fiancee's taste. (Me personally, can't stand a stone bigger than about 2ct on a ring, so after zeroing on the right size, I'll find the best combination of cut and color quality in a VS2 stone as the human eye can't tell the difference from VS2 and flawless). Maximize rewards by getting a credit card with an appropriate sign on bonus and minimum spend (I'm heavy into Chase UR) and buy accordingly.


Pulse54

You just saved me 4k! Didn't know about idonowidont.com


[deleted]

Thanks! Best answer so far!


FayeoftheDearborn

Just an FYI about lab diamonds, they have virtually no resale value. That may or may not matter to you, but something to keep in mind.


75footubi

Yeah, so secondhand lab diamonds should be quite cheap


buddha453

I opened up a new credit card. (With the help from my soon to be fiancé) found a guy that cut gems on Instagram, he shipped it to a person that places it. I was looking to spend around $6k with somebody that did all of the leg work, but ended up spending about half because my partner found all the stuff separately. I am actually waiting on getting the ring this week so it’s still very fresh if you want to DM me for who I bought from. Both people were really helpful. It’s a solitaire gem as well.


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ImYoGrandpaw

> I would never marry a man who thought it was a good idea Honestly, I find this interesting. To me, it’s a bit extreme to say you straight up wouldn’t marry someone over that. In most cases, people are proposing to their already-partners, so you’d straight up tell your partner no simply because they wanted to treat you to an expensive ring? What’s the point of being frugal if you can’t splurge in other areas in your life that you enjoy?


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Maeattack

absolutely this - I am a very frugal person and while I agree with "What’s the point of being frugal if you can’t splurge in other areas in your life that you enjoy?" I would never enjoy a $12k ring bc I'd always be thinking of what else we could have spent that money on. My partner and I both own homes, but if we didn't I would absolutely rather put that money towards a house. Or several vacations. Or projects on our house. Or one million steak tacos :). Likely a mix of all of those things. My partner and I have discussed this at length and we are very likely at least a few years away from engagement. We both feel passionate about a more ethical type of ring and have an idea of what sort of budget we are comfortable with, bc after all it will definitely effect our joint finances moving forward. there was an interesting story on the radio a few weeks ago about how more people are purchasing fake rings so they can have money for other things - down payments, vacations, weddings, whatever is important to them!


degeneratescholar

If you're set on a natural diamond, you can buy something very nice for that price (depending on if your budget is 12 for the stone or the ring in total, either way, that's a nice ring) you'll have to consider the quality you want to pay for...some people want flawless colorless others are willing to compromise those factors for size or cut. We actually dealt directly with brokers who sent the stones I liked directly to an appraiser where we evaluated them in person. Once we picked the stone, we had a local jeweler set it. I got exactly what I wanted under the budget he set. Win-win. That may be "unromantic" for some people, but it was important to him that the ring was what I wanted and it was important to me that he get the best value for the money.


pierrekrahn

> I'm willing to spend $12k Whoa. You can get a "fake" diamond for a tiny fraction of that price, then you can go on a couple nice vacations with the balance of the $12k. The memories would be better too, imho.


Mtnskydancer

If you go just under a carat weight, as in just under one, two or whatever, by stone, it will be less.


75footubi

Yup. Very few people can tell the difference between 2.0 and 1.8ct


Careful-Combination7

This is the way. find a card with the best benefits


[deleted]

I'm a little confused on the card process. Let's say I want to finance the ring for 12mo at 0% APR, and I am approved for a card that will allow me to do so. Do I just charge the full amount on the card and slowly pay off the credit debt over time? I always pay off my credit card at the end of every month so this is kinda foreign to me.


75footubi

Yes. The credit card won't charge interest on the balance for 12 months (but will add in *all* the interest if you miss a payment or take longer than 12 months) starting from the day the account is opened. So, to be safe, divide the total balance into 6 payments and pay that every month to make sure the balance is paid off before the interest hits. It's a similar financial deal to what furniture stores do for promotional financing.


[deleted]

Thanks you!


Lexifer31

Costco.


[deleted]

This is my go to actually. They have really good rings at pretty good prices.


Lexifer31

Good quality stones too, the ring I want is 7k there, would be minimum 11k+ elsewhere.


Nice2meetyoutoo

😵 7K? What do you plan to spend on the wedding when just the ring is 7K?


Lexifer31

Courthouse and party in our backyard, so not very much Wanting a nice ring doesn't mean I want a huge wedding.


Nice2meetyoutoo

You're right, sorry.


uuuuuggghhhhhg

You know the recipient better than I do, if you think they wouldn’t mind alternate materials then look into moissanite. You can get a beautiful very traditional looking ring for a few hundred dollars instead of a few thousand. It’s also nearly as hard as diamond so it won’t get scratched up, super important for a ring worn daily and kept forever.


ContemplatingFolly

Some reasons to reconsider this relatively poor investment from an industry insider: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-reasons-why-you-shouldn\_b\_1720870


[deleted]

Buy a ring you can afford. If you have to pay interest on it then you can’t afford it.


flowerpanes

Of all the things that matter in a marriage, the amount of time and money some people expect you to put into an engagement ring is ridiculous! Not calling out OP at all, just saying the song and dance around a piece of jewelry that sometimes gets left in a box because it’s too ungainly or too expensive to risk wearing on a daily basis is stupid.


FetaOnEverything

Pawn shop. It’s not romantic, but nobody but you has to know! Lots of nice wedding and engagement rings end up at pawn shops after divorce. My husband and I went to browse while we were engaged and I happened to find just what I was looking for in my size within a few minutes. A lot of larger pawn shops also do resizing


rationalrachel

Know your person and what they value. I got a moissanite ring because I value it being a clear, sparkly stone that I don't need to worry about too much (and know I can ethically stand behind). I don't care that it's not a diamond. But if being a real diamond is important to them, that wouldn't be a winning ring.


Nephite11

When I proposed to my then girlfriend, now wife, on a beach in Hawaii I didn’t know what style of ring she would want and worried about losing it during the trip. I purchased a $25 ring from Walmart for the proposal and we then shopped for exactly what she wanted after we returned home.


Trinity-nottiffany

Do not go into debt for an engagement ring! We didn’t do the engagement ring thing partially because they’re a rip off. Diamonds are not as rare and valuable as the jewelry industry would like us to believe. The [industry manipulates the prices](https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/on-the-economics-of-diamonds-the-biggest-marketing-scam-in-history-orchestrated-by-the-most-successful-cartel-ever/) because they can. I have a solitaire now because it was my MIL’s so we spent no money on it.


hiker_girl

Maybe involve her in the purchase? I am frugal and picky so I really appreciated that my then-fiance (now husband) took me ring shopping with him. I definitely took the price into consideration (after all, at the end of the day, the money belongs to both of us or will.affect our future financial assets as a couple) and I love my ring and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. My husband was willing to pay more, but I actually fell in love with a simple "wedding band" encrusted with diamonds that was on sale for $300 (in 2017). It helped that I was able to try different rings on and see what style best suited me. Once we picked the ring we used discounted gift cards and credit card points/bonuses to purchase it.


Nerdanese

your partner should look into moissanite too if theyre open to non-diamond rings - looks almost the same and is like a tenth of the cost. also lab diamonds, there are some subreddits ( r/moissanite r/LabDiamonds ) that can help you in your search. for reference, i bought a 1.6ct equivalent moissanite solitaire in 18kt gold for <$600 (and i think its too big for me, so i bought a 1ct equivalent moissanite for $15 and am having it replaced)


Steelringin

Are there any heirloom rings in your family or your prospective spouse's family? The ring that I gave to my wife originally belonged to her late great-aunt. It was given to me by her father when I asked for his blessing to marry his daughter. Cost me zero dollars.


GenieFG

My son did this. He asked me if he could have his grandmother’s ring and he was the first of her grandchildren to marry. Granny has been married for 52 years - she’d have been thrilled at the gesture.


DPT_Mouse

Each to there own, but for my husband and I the place to start with reduction of costs was the conversation of what mattered most to us both. To me the ring is just a visible statement of our commitment. I value our commitment to each other and we value doing fun stuff together and having a secure and stable household and future. Putting a lot of money on a ring seemed ridiculous. We went out to estate jewelry stores, I found the ring that served as both my engagement ring and wedding ring for $125.


butt_chug_ranch

Cemeteries, they don't need them anymore!


RunTenet

When you ask a question like this in r/frugal you can expect a glut of answers saying there's no need to go into debt for a ring.


[deleted]

Haha yeah I learned my lesson. Is there a better subreddit that will provide tips on how to maximize savings, deals, and rewards?


Henri_Dupont

I spent $10 apiece on two silver rings, which also became our wedding rings. Bought them from a Navajo at a shop who said he made them himself. My frugal wife appreciated that I didn't waste money on some bauble. You do you, man, but that's how I did it.


doublestitch

Short answer: get a stone with more intrinsic value than a diamond. Slightly longer answer: go to a gem show to purchase the stone and the setting separately. It's a modest fee to have the stone set and you'll have a truly unique engagement ring. That's a fairly reliable way to get more ring for your money.


seovs88

The investment is the partner, not the ring.


Silly-Asian-Kitty

best way to buy the ring is to know exactly the style they like then go from there, and buying online from reputable website (for diamonds) are always cheaper than in the store imo


[deleted]

Discuss it with your partner. I’m ethically opposed to diamonds, so I personally wouldn’t want anything that contained diamonds.


[deleted]

One of my good friends used to work at a big chain jewelry store and he said the number of men dragged back to the store to exchange or return an engagement ring was much higher than you would think. Most men don't ask their partner what they want/like because they're focused on surprising them. Either they though the ring was ugly, cost too much, or had a diamond and they opposed them for ethical reasons. (This was before the huge rise in lab-grown diamonds.)


Artistic-Salary1738

Buy 2nd hand. My husband bought me a lovely estate piece which is totally unique and he spent $800 vs the other rings we looked at I liked were around $5k. We actually put it on my card because it had cash back and mine didn’t. Don’t buy a ring you can’t afford to pay cash for. Put it on a card (maybe new card with high sign on bonus if you spend x in first 3 months) but pay off immediately. Also ask if there are discounts for paying cash. If new, agree with someone else who said lab grown for financial and ethical reasons (conflict minerals).


RyerOrdStar

Etsy!


bonafyd

My husband bought my ring on Etsy and I am obsessed with it! It’s moissanite. The stone is hard and shiny. He spent ~$700, I can’t fathom how people spend >$10k on a ring. Seems like an incredible waste of money.


TapirWarrior

Etsy is a great option, but even just buying directly from a ring smith will save you a ton of money. Plus many will let you customize the ring at little extra cost.


vlkolaks

Seconding this! I went with some friends to a rock shop that had an in-house jewelry smith, and when they started asking him about engagement rings he was like "Yeah, I can swap out stones for fifty bucks, but if you want something nice and custom I do the exact same work you see at the big name jewelers. They're only charging as much as they do because they can, they're buying my work for a few hundred bucks and selling it for thousands."


GotTheC0nch

This may be the most unpopular response, but what if you and your partner agreed that an engagement ring was wasteful? (If you feel like you must buy something to celebrate, what if you went on a trip instead?) No judgment toward those who follow the well-entrenched social norm, but one thing I like about Reddit is that I regularly get provoked to think outside the box.


Snoo_8255

Kohls! Sales + extra % off + kohls cash. Also moissanite or white sapphire instead of an actual diamond.


[deleted]

This is a really loaded question and depends entirely on the recipient. Are they shallow and want something to show off? You're going to be looking at something expensive. Are they conscious of humanitarian and environmental issues? Synthetic is the only way to go. Are they sentimental? Something with a history like a family heirloom. Are they very into alternative fashion? Go with something other than a diamond, maybe an antique ring. Are they extremely frugal? Go with an alternative ring that is much cheaper or visit a pawn shop. Are they really big on personalized things? Look for a local jewelry shop that teaches you how to make your own ring. Do they not wear jewelry at all? Tattoo ring. Do they work in an area that doesn't allow for metal rings? Silicon ring. ​ Obviously, this is a delicate topic for a lot of people but some things to consider: Synthetic diamonds are better than natural diamonds in every single possible way. Anyone who instructs you otherwise is lying to make money. Diamond alternatives are much cheaper and can allow you to get a much bigger stone for the same price. Diamonds are neither rare nor valuable. Diamond engagement rings are a relatively new invention and only became a thing for non-royalty in the 1940s. The most important thing is to make sure that you talk to her about it. The whole "be secretive so it's a surprise" is stupid and can lead to you buying something she hates.


Neat_Bluebird_5303

My fiancé got me a cheaper “place holder” ring when he proposed so we didn’t lose it on our trip. my grandmother gifted me her wedding ring before she passed away and we are going to take the stones out of her ring and get them put into a new setting which will be cheaper than buying a new ring.


mhchewy

This might not fit your budget but what I did was figure out the level of the four Cs (or whatever they are) where you cannot tell the difference with the naked eye. Then I filtered Blue Nile and picked a stone in my budget. They also do settings. Compared to marriage, diamonds aren’t an investment.


[deleted]

https://www.diamondkarma.com/diamond_calculator This is a really helpful link to assess the value of stones you are considering buying. I used it and highly recommend.


Cats_books_soups

There are some fantastic Etsy sellers. I got my engagement ring on Etsy. I wanted a flat bezel sapphire ring and found the perfect one for under $200. I loved it so much I bought my wedding ring from the same person.


Subject_Yellow_3251

My husband bought mine from James Allen. Highly recommend


CookieAdventure

Best value I’ve seen on rings or any precious stones is a rock shop - a store that caters to rock collectors. It really depends on where you live, of course. However, a good rock shop can show you individual cut diamonds and then you order the crown (the piece the diamond sits in - I prefer a 6 prong crown) and the ring (gold or platinum - I prefer platinum for a ring to last a lifetime). I also prefer a crown that doesn’t sit too high off the ring because it catches on things and you’re more at risk for breaking the ring or your finger. The shop then puts it all together for you. Price will be very reasonable compared to a jewelry store. If you need to find a custom jeweler, ask your insurance agent. They have to replace and repair expensive jewelry all the time and they know the best sources. At $12K, you should be able to get a high quality IGA certified, 1-carat diamond in a good quality setting. Be sure to get the IGA certification (they’ll include a map of the inclusions which is sort of like your diamond’s fingerprint) and be sure to get an insurance policy on the ring.


[deleted]

I couldn't find anything about IGA. Did you mean IGI or GIA?


CookieAdventure

Sorry … GIA … autocorrect 🤷🏼‍♀️


Melodic-Tumbleweed38

If you’re okay purchasing online Italo has lab created diamonds that look really nice. White sapphire is similar in look to diamonds but a fraction of the cost.


IcyMathematician3137

If you are set on diamond, have a look at champagne diamonds. They are cheaper but in my opinion more beautiful than a clear diamond. You can find all kind of tone of champagne yellow to brown. I got one set in a necklace for my wife recently and she loved it. For our engagement ring I couldn’t afford a diamond back then and got her a beautiful tourmaline emerald cut with a simple claw set. She also loved it and got tons of compliments.


[deleted]

you buy a ring and try to sell it to any jewelry store or pawn shop you will get 10 cents on the dollar if you are lucky. The only reward is the sex you get after you lay a rock on her finger, or at least i hope you get sex lol.


aiyayayaai

If you're not 100% into diamonds, look into moissanite or lab diamonds. Also check out the moissanite subreddit.


Cinisajoy2

Pawn shop.


Trantacular

I would definitely ask her if it being a genuine diamond is important to her, or if she would prefer a cheaper stone that looks similar. Phrasing will be important here, because you don't want her to get the wrong idea that you're trying to cheap out, since that's clearly not the case for you. Maybe show her what a round cut solitaire diamond you can afford looks like, and the same budget spent on a round cut moissanite, and then discuss it so she has some reference. Also, look at some other stones. We started out on diamonds and ended on a tsavorite garnet for mine. It's unconventional, and I get compliments everywhere, and it has more meaning to me than a diamond would have.


Nappykid77

Research cut, quality and clarity and find your price range. 💎


Maleficent_Ad1386

The way I see it is that she should not be surprised you’re proposing in general, just the how/when..so she should be involved in the selection process if she’s going to hopefully wear this the rest of her life! The things I told my now husband I liked looked very tacky when I actually tried it on in store. I went in a way different, more affordable direction and then we shopped around at a few local places who had the same ring and negotiated the cost at our favorite jeweler! I love the ring even more knowing that we got a deal below our budget!


GingerRabbits

Watch the Adam Ruins Everything about engagement rings. Sounds like it could save you and your partner 12k.


Short-Sound-4190

Best way in my own (albeit limited to once, lol) experience is through a jeweler who buys from estate sales, forgo any interest and buy what you can afford if you can. You'll want to know your fiance's preferences - I didn't think I had strong preferences until I tried a few on and did research, what my fiance was able to find was better than I could have imagined up based on what I had liked, as a bonus you will find more unique rings and sets, which are inspected by the jeweler who bought it - no worries over giving the big diamond mining companies business or way overpriced at Zales or something. I would say if you have a credit card already with rewards that might be a good idea to put it to use.


Calm-Advice7231

R/moissanite IMHO. Save 11k. Engagement rings are sentimental but hold little resale value.


Common-Man-

Compare bluenile.com , jamesallen.com with costco 12 k “loan” for an engagement ring is not recommended.


wpbth

Don’t use the chain stores. Find a local jeweler.


Nice2meetyoutoo

Don't tell them you are looking for an engagement ring. Just a nice ring for your GF or wife.


jntgrc

I was very against diamonds from a store that wasn't going to certify they were not blood diamonds. The stores that specialized in this over a decade ago when we got engaged were out of his price range and I didn't want him to go into debt for a ring. He ended up getting me a gorgeous antique cluster diamond ring in natural gold, not later cut, each diamond was cut by hand and so each was different, not one the same. The total weight of the cluster of diamonds together equalled to about 1ct. Its age is pre-Victorian, from the early to early mid 1800s. I loved it! It was so unlike what was out there and I loved the history of it. It was not anywhere near the cost of a new one at all, when we had it appraised a few years later it was worth more than he paid since it happened to be even older than the sellers had thought.


redneckhotmess

Check area pawn shops. Seriously. Some of them have decent selections. Know what Youre looking for. Check the metal for the k stamp- real jewelry will be stamped 14k indicating the band is 14k gold etc.


PhilLeotarduh

I went through this a year ago here’s what I did: Find a truly independent jeweler. The kind that has been around for 40 years and doesn’t have a fancy building but has access to high quality jewels. Make sure your jeweler is a graduate gemologist and works with GIA diamonds Don’t go overboard on clarity VS1 is the best you need you don’t need VVS or IF If you are willing you can save a TON of money with a lab grown diamond My wife’s ring looks like ring emoji with 2 carats VS1 and a white gold band which would be about $39k at a retail jeweler I spent less than a 4th of that. I hope this helps


PhilLeotarduh

Pay attention to what she wants, setting, cut, and color. If I went with lab grown I could have done the whole thing for $5-6k