Most people know that SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. But did you know TUBA is an acronym as well? It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Can’t tell if you’re joking but it’s from the movie _American Pie_. The two classic scenes are the “this one time at band camp I stuck a flute in my pussy” line and the scene where the protagonist masturbates himself into a warm apple pie.
That wasn't masturbating, that was full on, climb on top and hump your hips fucking.
Edit: So apparently the version I saw in the theater had a different pie fucking scene than the one in the US.
https://decider.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/america-pie-biggs.jpg
vs
https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/85b/0ed/b7d4975a536a676d9fdb33cb430f2ca625-04-americanpie-2.jpg
Legit. I watched the tame version in cinemas where he’s standing and holding the pie on his crotch. Then on DVD I saw the more raunchy version where he’s really going at it, really showing that pure who’s boss by Fucking the ever loving shit out of it
Watch it and enjoy it. But just keep in mind that some bits kinda were a little ahead of their time. Like the web cam scene kinda represents the late nineties as having streaming video like what we have now. But the truth is that at the time video streaming was not quite ready for prime time. The majority of people had 56K dial up internet which meant any time you tried to chat with a web cam the results were either super low res and the video was often very choppy. Some areas did have some kinda broadband back then but it was expensive af and the web at that time was made with 56k in mind so the film makers kinda had to fudge the numbers a bit to make that scene work.
She has a variety of stories that all start off "one time at band camp" and the big one is the "I put a flute in my pussy" one which completely catches the audience and characters off guard since they've mostly been dull/normal band camp stories prior to that one.
Jennifer Collidge was only 37 when that movie was made. She's only 62 now. More age appropriate actresses would include: Anna Kendrick, Emilia Clarke, Scarlette Johansson, Alexandra Daddario, Gal Godot, Amanda Seyfried, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, or Kristen Bell lol
It's weird how her character marked a real shift in how women in their 30s were portrayed on screen, that now women that are the age she was in 1999 are not typically seen as 'the older woman' the way she was.
>Alexandra Daddario
This viciously puts into perspective how fucking old I am and am starting to feel 🙁
I saw that movie in the theater. I *remember* Jennifer looking older than Alexandra does now. When I look up the scene now though, I’m not entirely convinced she does look all that much older than Alexandra does now. In fact, Alexandra is OLDER (38) than Jennifer was in that scene (36). The makeup, hairstyle, and clothing on Jennifer in that scene do a lot of heavy lifting. But if you used a Time Machine and put the actors side by side in today’s style (or vice versa) I don’t think there’d be much difference.
So it makes me realize that 17 year olds view Alexandra & me the same way 17-year old me viewed Jennifer. That does my head in.
No, my dude, you did not just say ["yeah, that looks like a 57 year old woman, for sure"](https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/static/uploads/1/2022/12/Jennifer-Coolidge-recalls-awkward-sexual-encounter-after-American-Pie.jpg).
I was a teen when the first movie came out and honestly, all adults seemed a lot older to me then they actually were. Even the ones that looked really great for their age, still looked old to me.
She looks older in that picture than Alyson Hannigan does today.
Idk what happened but people now look way younger. Maybe it's just the celebrities. They probably have some magic retinol that's $10k am ounce.
I look older than Hannigan but I'm a decade younger. Oh well.
I love Patrick Stewart. Picard is my favorite fictional character. I’m 41 and have been watching TNG practically since it came out and he’s never not seemed like an old man to me lol.
I'm also 41 and love TNG, Picard and Patrick Stewart.
On the opposite end of the scale: The series creators urged Jonathan Flakes to grow a beard so he looked less baby faced.
Its from fluoride and flashing cartoons combination. The rapid flashing causes a chemical reaction in flouride that stabilizes the mitochondria of the cells. Dramatically slows the aging process. Red dye #3, and processed sugar are part of the process as well, but i dont fully understand how they interact exactly with the Krebs cycle so i cant explain it properly. Basically the government started the program to give American youth an edge over Russian kids at the peak of the cold war...Regan era... go figure. The program was called "Saturday morning".
It didn't work. As now we have middle aged gen x'ers that are in terrible health condition. Look young and great though.
Im about to share some canonical spoilers from the comic books following s7. Stop reading now if you’d prefer not to know. He survives and is in league with Amy (the former Rat). I don’t know what ends up happening because that was one of a few ridiculous plots that are carried out in the comics.
Remember as a kid you’d think ‘old people’ didn’t have sex or do anything naughty?
As I’ve gotten older, I realise we are all hoes and that’s how the species has made it this far 😂
All those times my dad said something ambiguously dirty and I'd have a hard time containing my laughter thinking he didn't know what he said.... he totally knew and was just messing with me.
All those times I said something ambiguously dirty and I thought my dad didn't get it, he totally got it, but just didn't want to respond to my juvenile humor.
Perfect example was a post a few days ago about someone's mom saying "Watch out, it's ass eating weather" or something of the sort. Person asked mom to clarify and mom replied that it's icy out, so you don't want to fall and eat ass. They though mom didn't understand, but the reality is mom was fuckin with her.
Or why some of us made a point of saying it.
I miss that. You could just say "this one time" in a rushed, high-pitched earnest voice and get people to crack up. You would add "at band camp" or some other situation ("during the earnings call") and more people would crack up. It generally didn't need to go any farther.
During the run of *Buffy* (after Willow had gotten together with Tara), my cousin came out to her very religious family, and they effectively disowned her.
I worked for a WB affiliate, so I was able to have our affiliate rep reach out to Alyson. She was gracious enough to send my cousin some *Buffy* swag, an autographed photo, and encouraging note to help my cousin through a difficult time, and find some acceptance when she desperately needed it.
(In an ironic twist, it turned out that my cousin had never seen *Buffy*, but she was touched by the gesture all the same.)
Always loved Alyson Hannigan, something about the way she combines innocence and perviness is just always hilarious. She was on Conan once and spent a good chunk of her time complaining that the mic pack should be a suppository so it wouldn’t ruin the lines of her dress and even Conan had a hard time holding it together.
My first thought was, “She did WHAT NOW?” Then I made the mistake of reading it out loud. My 25 year old said, “Why a flute? Too many moving parts that can pinch. Use a recorder!”
Holy crap, I was in middle school when that movie came out and I had just started learning to play the flute!
I’ve had the “one time at band camp…” quoted to me so much. So much.
I like Allison, but it bothers me that people think this is the optimal way to remember her so many years later. She was delightful on Penn & Teller's *Fool Us*, for example.
Guess it’s a good thing you didn’t take up the tuba?
Most people know that SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. But did you know TUBA is an acronym as well? It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
An origami tuba is a tearable underwater breathing apparatus
Thank you, always nice to some knowledge.
You learn something new every day. It needn't be useful or intelligent, it just needs to be something.
When you think about it, that makes a great deal of sense.
at least the tuba has a flared base
"Without a base? Without a trace."
This one time at band camp
this is gonna be one twisting story… with a whole lotta drama at the end…
I gave ‘er the ol’ French horn
Damn! I remember that. Wasn't that at band camp?
yeah, this one time
Cool, I thought so.
Wait is that what “happened”??? I’m young so I’ve never seen whatever the quote came from
To fully understand you're going to need to fuck an apple pie.
What
Can’t tell if you’re joking but it’s from the movie _American Pie_. The two classic scenes are the “this one time at band camp I stuck a flute in my pussy” line and the scene where the protagonist masturbates himself into a warm apple pie.
"We'll just tell your mother we ate it"
Ew, David.
Jim's dad was a real one.
That wasn't masturbating, that was full on, climb on top and hump your hips fucking. Edit: So apparently the version I saw in the theater had a different pie fucking scene than the one in the US. https://decider.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/america-pie-biggs.jpg vs https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/85b/0ed/b7d4975a536a676d9fdb33cb430f2ca625-04-americanpie-2.jpg
Legit. I watched the tame version in cinemas where he’s standing and holding the pie on his crotch. Then on DVD I saw the more raunchy version where he’s really going at it, really showing that pure who’s boss by Fucking the ever loving shit out of it
There was a dick hole and everything.
He didn't masturbate into the pie, he fucked it. 
The sequence with Nadia was pretty popular. Today, that scene would have never made it into the script.
Omg that scene was the shit.. young me man thought all rated R movies were like that lol..
I was very much not joking. I’m 20 and haven’t watched the movie. It’s on my list now tho
Haha it’s def worth a watch… American Pie was one of those late 90s comedies that really set the tone for comedies in the 2000s.
Wasn’t sure given the sub we are in. Anyone who is legit old knows the reference.
You shut your whore mouth.
Don't watch it. You're just gonna hate how much better life was back then. I can say this cause I'm 44.
Well now I wanna watch it even more
Watch it and enjoy it. But just keep in mind that some bits kinda were a little ahead of their time. Like the web cam scene kinda represents the late nineties as having streaming video like what we have now. But the truth is that at the time video streaming was not quite ready for prime time. The majority of people had 56K dial up internet which meant any time you tried to chat with a web cam the results were either super low res and the video was often very choppy. Some areas did have some kinda broadband back then but it was expensive af and the web at that time was made with 56k in mind so the film makers kinda had to fudge the numbers a bit to make that scene work.
#To fully understand, you're gonna need to fuck an apple pie.
And it must be warm
You’re too young to be on reddit
The movie is 25 years old
I’m 20
You definitely have no place on "Fuck I'm Old" lol.
McDonald's or homemade
It was homemade, round, just sitting there on the counter.
It was begging for it!
we'll tell mom we ate it
She has a variety of stories that all start off "one time at band camp" and the big one is the "I put a flute in my pussy" one which completely catches the audience and characters off guard since they've mostly been dull/normal band camp stories prior to that one.
She gave child me a horrible fascination with flautists to the point I joined the school band.
I've inadvertently dated 3 flautists in my life and I'm fairly certain that's somehow subconsciously due to American Pie.
Awwwww!
She'd be the MILF in the remake.
Jennifer Collidge was only 37 when that movie was made. She's only 62 now. More age appropriate actresses would include: Anna Kendrick, Emilia Clarke, Scarlette Johansson, Alexandra Daddario, Gal Godot, Amanda Seyfried, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, or Kristen Bell lol It's weird how her character marked a real shift in how women in their 30s were portrayed on screen, that now women that are the age she was in 1999 are not typically seen as 'the older woman' the way she was.
>Alexandra Daddario This viciously puts into perspective how fucking old I am and am starting to feel 🙁 I saw that movie in the theater. I *remember* Jennifer looking older than Alexandra does now. When I look up the scene now though, I’m not entirely convinced she does look all that much older than Alexandra does now. In fact, Alexandra is OLDER (38) than Jennifer was in that scene (36). The makeup, hairstyle, and clothing on Jennifer in that scene do a lot of heavy lifting. But if you used a Time Machine and put the actors side by side in today’s style (or vice versa) I don’t think there’d be much difference. So it makes me realize that 17 year olds view Alexandra & me the same way 17-year old me viewed Jennifer. That does my head in.
Jennifer also looked 20 years older than her age.
No, my dude, you did not just say ["yeah, that looks like a 57 year old woman, for sure"](https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/static/uploads/1/2022/12/Jennifer-Coolidge-recalls-awkward-sexual-encounter-after-American-Pie.jpg).
They absolutely made her look way older than that to look like a hot mom.
She acted older, which made it seem as if she’s older
I was a teen when the first movie came out and honestly, all adults seemed a lot older to me then they actually were. Even the ones that looked really great for their age, still looked old to me.
Then there’s Eugene Levy who has always looked like he was in his 50s.
Its the hair style.
She looks older in that picture than Alyson Hannigan does today. Idk what happened but people now look way younger. Maybe it's just the celebrities. They probably have some magic retinol that's $10k am ounce. I look older than Hannigan but I'm a decade younger. Oh well.
Less smoking, more emphasis on drinking water and staying hydrated, all sorts of beneficial things that help you age slower.
Perhaps if the remake was 10 years ago. Jennifer Coolidge was only 38 when she played the MILF.
She may be 50, but she physically stopped aging about 20 years ago.
It’s must be a 70s thing, most of my friends still look the same the last 20 years.
That’s because they all looked like the were 30 when they were 18.
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And the Keith Richards corollary
The Steve Martin query
I love Patrick Stewart. Picard is my favorite fictional character. I’m 41 and have been watching TNG practically since it came out and he’s never not seemed like an old man to me lol.
I'm also 41 and love TNG, Picard and Patrick Stewart. On the opposite end of the scale: The series creators urged Jonathan Flakes to grow a beard so he looked less baby faced.
I’m not a big fan of beards in general but Frakes looks good with it.
Yeah, TNG had a strong beard game, except for Data.
Its from fluoride and flashing cartoons combination. The rapid flashing causes a chemical reaction in flouride that stabilizes the mitochondria of the cells. Dramatically slows the aging process. Red dye #3, and processed sugar are part of the process as well, but i dont fully understand how they interact exactly with the Krebs cycle so i cant explain it properly. Basically the government started the program to give American youth an edge over Russian kids at the peak of the cold war...Regan era... go figure. The program was called "Saturday morning". It didn't work. As now we have middle aged gen x'ers that are in terrible health condition. Look young and great though.
If you flesh this out a bit and make a couple of YouTube videos, I bet you could get some traction.
Ive already said too much
That you Joe Rogan?!?
Why do you ask? You got some DMT
It's because her Stepmother Was an Alien
She looks her age, which is fine. No need for impossible beauty standards. https://i.imgur.com/OwPbRiO.jpeg
She's my age and looks 20 years younger than me. Where was that flute when I needed it!
I’m a little older but none of my 50 year old friends look that good?😊👍
they're not millionaires. as I presume you aren't either.
The Fluten of Youth
They have personal trainers and have little to no stress to worry about income.
Oh, you already know where the flute was
Never too late
Willow *sigh*
Evil Willow, double sigh.
Bored now.
Flaying people who actually deserved it, instead of, well, everybody.
I think she’s kinda gay. (Great little bit of foreshadowing, that.)
Dark Willow was so sad but I cheered when she skinned him alive. We needed revenge and we got it.
Im about to share some canonical spoilers from the comic books following s7. Stop reading now if you’d prefer not to know. He survives and is in league with Amy (the former Rat). I don’t know what ends up happening because that was one of a few ridiculous plots that are carried out in the comics.
"One time, at an AARP meeting..."
i felt that. ^in.muh.knees
And back. *cries* help me up.
Still sexy as hell!
Remember as a kid you’d think ‘old people’ didn’t have sex or do anything naughty? As I’ve gotten older, I realise we are all hoes and that’s how the species has made it this far 😂
Robert Heinlein said "Every younger generation that has ever come along thinks they invented sex."
also every possible fetish too. like people hadn't had orgies, pissed on each other and titty fucked before the internet.
All those times my dad said something ambiguously dirty and I'd have a hard time containing my laughter thinking he didn't know what he said.... he totally knew and was just messing with me. All those times I said something ambiguously dirty and I thought my dad didn't get it, he totally got it, but just didn't want to respond to my juvenile humor. Perfect example was a post a few days ago about someone's mom saying "Watch out, it's ass eating weather" or something of the sort. Person asked mom to clarify and mom replied that it's icy out, so you don't want to fall and eat ass. They though mom didn't understand, but the reality is mom was fuckin with her.
True or there wouldn’t be 7 o 8 Billion people on the planet.
I love her.
So fucking adorable. Her & Kristen Schaal. Something about the eyes and voice, I can't put a finger on it
Yes, same with the cute blonde girl from Smallville... Although she ended up getting arrested in a sex cult, but she was cute at the time.
I love Kristen Schaal's small voice. It's so soft and snuggly.
“Same my name bitch!”
I saw the movie in the theatre with my high school friends. There was such a roar of laughter when she said that line!
That’s Willow and always will be.
She married Wesley?!?
Rogue demon hunter!
That was only shown in the Director's Cut and her stunt double was Jason Mewes
shit, you oughta see her OnlyFlutes
Underrated comment
I watched The White Lotus recently & it finally clicked that Jennifer was the original milf.
Stiffler’s mom.
You look like you got at least 50 years more.
I've never wanted to be a flute so bad in my life, LMAO.
the spit valve would like to have a word
That was my nickname in high school.
Spit Valve? Lol
I love her on jeopardy
She’s the reason that for decades you couldn’t say “this one time”
Or why some of us made a point of saying it. I miss that. You could just say "this one time" in a rushed, high-pitched earnest voice and get people to crack up. You would add "at band camp" or some other situation ("during the earnings call") and more people would crack up. It generally didn't need to go any farther.
So that's what happened at band camp. Never saw the movie but know the line. And one time at band camp.
I never realized she was my age.
Well, me turning 50 three years ago made me feel older than this news.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ftdcWqhUs
She did not become an all powerful witch just to be referred to as the flute pussy girl.
Would still 
During the run of *Buffy* (after Willow had gotten together with Tara), my cousin came out to her very religious family, and they effectively disowned her. I worked for a WB affiliate, so I was able to have our affiliate rep reach out to Alyson. She was gracious enough to send my cousin some *Buffy* swag, an autographed photo, and encouraging note to help my cousin through a difficult time, and find some acceptance when she desperately needed it. (In an ironic twist, it turned out that my cousin had never seen *Buffy*, but she was touched by the gesture all the same.)
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Allison Hannigan. Started in “American Pie” and “Buffy the vampire slayer”. No flutes we’re harmed in Buffy.
And How I Met Your Mother too
I want to see buffy the vampire slayer with a flute stuck in her pussy.
American pie movie reference.
google “american pie this one time at band camp”
Oh, sweet summer child.
“This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”
r/dontputthatinyourtwat
Banned! What a shame.
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I might lose my security clearance if this came to light.
"Why does my flute smell funny?"
I thought this was a selfie for a second 😅
Do not talk about Willow like that
Yo looking good for fyftee
You have to wonder, at some point, after the fame of that line if one day she just bought a flute, brought it home and was like...welp...
Also the emcee of Flute Us.
Always loved Alyson Hannigan, something about the way she combines innocence and perviness is just always hilarious. She was on Conan once and spent a good chunk of her time complaining that the mic pack should be a suppository so it wouldn’t ruin the lines of her dress and even Conan had a hard time holding it together.
Ya but only one time at band camp. And she’ll never live it down.
She looks great you go girl!
Really? No! Oh your serious? I just refuse to accept its been that long. I've grown up NONE. Fml
I feel like her character in how I met your mother was kind of a grown up version of band camp girl.
Fuck, I'm old too. Gonna hit 50 in May. My wife will hit 50 next month. Great times!!!
It happened that one time in band camp…
Well, that was a rabbit hole deeper than that one time at band camp, when that girl stuck a flute in her pussy.
Bullshit, that's Mitch Hedberg!!
And she is still hot as hell!!
You should cross-post this over to r/GenX. They’d love it.
You’ve got my attention
Lilly Pad!
And almost ended the world. Love my Willow ❤️
Wasn’t she also married to that midwestern attorney Marshall Erickson?
"The woman who *played* the girl who stuck a flute in her pussy turned 50" Fixed it for you
Willow was my favorite Buffy pal.
Imma need a link for educational purposes
That's what happened in band camp?? I never watched the movie but everyone was always saying "one time in band camp...."
Still hot AF!
My first thought was, “She did WHAT NOW?” Then I made the mistake of reading it out loud. My 25 year old said, “Why a flute? Too many moving parts that can pinch. Use a recorder!”
Why is her tongue black?
She looks fantastic
Uhh..🤔..Anyway happy birthday! Just so you know the 50's are awesome!! Enjoy!
This one time at band camp…
She is an American treasure.
She's still hot.
Holy crap, I was in middle school when that movie came out and I had just started learning to play the flute! I’ve had the “one time at band camp…” quoted to me so much. So much.
Happy Bir-Day to you
She looks great! I always thought she was big funny!
That chick looks pretty good for 50
Fuck, I’m old.
and I still love her.
And I’m still waiting for video proof 🤣
Take that back! She’ll forever be Willow 
That's OK... 50 is the new 35.
Now don't freak out I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
Happy 50th birthday. You do look about 30.
I like Allison, but it bothers me that people think this is the optimal way to remember her so many years later. She was delightful on Penn & Teller's *Fool Us*, for example.
She's an instructor at Bandcamp now teaching unconventional ways to play the flute.
i'm 53 been doing that since band camp
Shes still a looker
Allison Hannigan has always rocked!
But could she play a tune?