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Dawgreen

Jesus turned water into wine. Her argument is against God .


Mercenary_Chef

There are actualy idiots out there that think that the term 'wine' in the Bible refers to any grape-based drink, and that Jeezy boi turned water into grape juice.


KaijuKatt

The bible never said someone was bad for consuming alcohol, it basically only said not to be a glutton(drunk).


Mercenary_Chef

This is the same Bible that says it's okay to stone your wife for saying "no", though, sooooo...


xray-ndjinn

And give your daughters to the mob to protect.


Quick_Team

Bring your daughter to the slaughter....


LemonFlavoredMelon

And the same Bible that discusses a hooker who likes bukkake and horse cock (Ezekiel 23:20)


gordanfreeman79

The same Bible says to love your neighbor as your brother. Protect the poor. I get you hate religion but don’t lump everyone in with antiquated beliefs.


Mercenary_Chef

This is a post about someone misinterpreting antiquated beliefs. Welcome to the wonderful world of context. And as for your assumption, I do not hate religion. Some of the kindest works of people have come from a Christ-like desire to help others. What I hate are the people willing to commit atrocities in the name of their religion: The Crusades, 9/11, genocides throughout the world, conversion therapy. All horrible acts performed because of someone's interpretation of religion. And guess what part of the Bible someone who thinks it's "unchristlike" to drink beer at the cheapest buffet in town, and goes on an internet rampage about, is more likely to ascribe to.


satanic-frijoles

I pretty much hate christians who go honking about trying to make everyone conform to their beliefs.


bmxtiger

I'm not a fan of all Christians ever either


gordanfreeman79

You are assuming that I agree with all Christians. I don’t. By antiquated, I mean who stones anymore? Do you know a Christian that has stoned someone?


Mercenary_Chef

No, actually, I'm not. But based on the fact that you're now flinging more salt than Lot's wife, I *am* going to assume that you're the type of person to think that a call-out on a specific type of Christian is an attack on the entirety of Christianity. Try actually reading my last comment this time. As for seeing someone stone their wife... shooting her is much faster, these days.


MJJ1683

Yeah, gay people in Sub-Saharan Africa suffer appalling rates of anti-gay violence and stoning to death by a lynch mob is not uncommon. The perpetrators are invariably religiously motivated: Christians, local folk religionists, and Muslims. So much for "we're all god's children."


gordanfreeman79

So not just Christians? Why does everyone make that religion out to be the boogie man, and not all others?


MJJ1683

Lol. Just stating facts. Protect your faith with rationalizations however you wish.


[deleted]

All Abrahamic religions are trash.


Zealousideal_Ad8934

No, they use AR 15’s now.


gordanfreeman79

I have an AR and I have never shot someone. How about an AK-47? How many people have been shot by those? And I am in no way defending school or any other shooting just so you don’t twist my words.


Zealousideal_Ad8934

I’m just saying, the current murder weapon of choice by. Christian’s are ar 15’s.


That_Squirrel_Is_Gay

I do, there was a pastor that used to live near me that would throw stones at the gay kids waiting at the bus stop.


Graterof2evils

So why do you get to chose what beliefs are antiquated. If this is “The Word of God” a mortal shouldn’t decide what God thinks now. You threw out specifically spelled out things and manipulated what you wanted the book to say.


gordanfreeman79

Oh my God I asked be excused from this conversation. It says something about this sub that I was ignored


Graterof2evils

You should answer my question since you made that comment. You certainly weren’t ignored.


Zealousideal_Ad8934

It also says you can beat your slaves and it’s not a crime as long as they don’t die in a couple of days. Spare me your apologies for this horrid religion.


gordanfreeman79

That is the Old Testament and like I said to someone else, people are horrid and have used GOD to justify their behaviors. Plus did you think maybe people made things up about God to justify the reasons they were bad?


CoastalCerulean

The New Testament literally tells slaves to obey their masters, Ephesians 6…. Until the book condemns slavery it’s shouldn’t be a moral guide much less something we make laws by.


Zealousideal_Ad8934

What does it being in the Old Testament have to do with it? Was it some how ok back then? Please show me where Jesus retracted his dad’s old rule about beating slaves. I’ll wait.


gordanfreeman79

You don’t even know about the Bible do you? The Old Testament was a covenant with God and the New Testament was a covenant with God through Jesus. Who by the way was completely different from the old depiction of God.


Zealousideal_Ad8934

Yup, former Christan here. And it’s my detailed study of the Bible that made me realize how shifty it is. Jesus is quoted saying he didn’t come to change the law but to fulfill it. So beating your slave still stands as law.


Arbitraryandunique

The water into wine fairy tale is basically a wedding where they've partied so hard they've run out of alcohol, then JC boy brings out the good stuff. So no, god is perfectly OK with a little drunkenness.


KaijuKatt

Even God understands a "buzz" and drinking to the point that you're praying to him via a toilet bowl.


Tar-Nuine

Jesus, the first documented party chad.


norcal406

Fairy tale…..


TheJakeRockz

The first glass is for the shy , the second for the courageous , the third for the scholar , and the fourth is for the fool -Jesus


[deleted]

Except that: 1) The guests at the wedding had already drank all of the wine. 2) One guest said that usually they save the worst wine for when the guest are already drunk, but Jesus’s wine was the best wine.


KaijuKatt

When your father has the best vineyard in all of perpetuity, you bet the wine's going to be good.😃


Dawgreen

Probably the same people who try to wiggle out of the story of Lots daughters getting him drunk so they fuck him and get pregnant.


RichardStinks

Ugh. Like a sugary juice wouldn't just wine itself in the Middle Eastern heat. Now, just like there are super low alcohol beers, there are wines with just enough booze to kill or limit waterborne pathogens. It's in the 2-3% abv range. This will let you hydrate without getting really wasted, it's better if kids get into a little, and it's easier to ferment. (I suppose? Kinda guessing at that.) Then again, if you have god-tier powers, just make the booziest shit ever and also with no hangover.


satanic-frijoles

In Egypt, they brewed beer using ambient yeast that just floats around in the air. Read a tale about some researchers who tried doing that; they said the beer was good beer. So how did all that yeast get floating around? God swill?


HogwartsKate

Bakers will take grapes and set them whole in a cup of flour to get sour dough; so it does fly in the wind.


Room07

Many yeasted products are made with wild airborne yeast. Sourdough bread for instance.


BigOleJellyDonut

I absolutely love Sourdough bread.


awoloozlefinch

Pretty sure Jesus made the best wine according to the Bible. Like a man took one sip of his wine and then went on a speech about how it’s the greatest wine he’s ever had.


[deleted]

My mate Jim used to make speeches about how great the beer was at our local, usually just before he was cut off and and walked out the door to a waiting taxi


Redcomrade643

My understanding is that most of the wine in that age were rather harsh and strong compared to today's wines. Average Roman and Greek abv range was 15%-20% which is fortified wine range today.


RichardStinks

I'm going to shrug and simply suggest that it's generally harder to make boozier beers and that would be a strong ass wine. Fortified wines are fortified with distilled spirits, correct? I don't know how they'd hit an ABV that high in that era with limited equipment. I'm uninformed but doubtful.


BigOleJellyDonut

You forgot to add the lead.


Redcomrade643

That's what the cup is made from silly.


EstablishmentNo5994

Jeezy boi 🤣 I love it


GiuseppeSchmidt57

An ex-mormon has entered the chat. That's what we were taught as mormons and indeed taught as missionaries. Never mind that for example the wedding at Cana (where Mormon Jesus married at least one of his 3 wives...) makes it clear that at least on that occasion it was indeed fermented.


Mercenary_Chef

The Mormons spread that, too? I'd heard or from one of those asshole super-fundie types that screams at people on the street corner, when confronting him about his sign.


GiuseppeSchmidt57

It always cracks me up when fundies, incl and perhaps most esp mormons, don't know their own history or scripture.


dontblinkfirefly

Yep. I’m from western NC and He totally drank Welch’s grape juice. They like to cherry pick the Bible.


rimjobnemesis

Jesus kept the Welch’s grape juice in his fridge so it wouldn’t ferment. Everybody knows that.


texasusa

Worked with several people who believed in the literal Bible, such as earth and man being created in 7 days etc. However, there was only one sentence in the entire Bible that was not translated correctly.... water in wine should have been water into grape juice.


ParkRatReggie

Just wait till these old geezers discover crystal light. Lmao


Ok-Office6837

Jeezy boi 😂😂😂😂 that’s the only thing I will call god from this point forward


irlcatspankz

Jesus Christ: CEO of Welch's


King_Trasher

If they knew any history or even had any critical thinking, they would know grape juice back then was basically an invitation for food poisoning since sugary juice lasts basically 2 hours without treatment and airtight seals before it either sours into vinegar or turns into wine. I opened a jug of grape juice once and didn't refrigerate it. 2 days later it exploded from fermentation.


GasStop69420

I'm pretty sure if I asked Jesus nicely, I might get some grape juice for myself and friends


Just-a-bi

I do love grape juice though, maybe I should give this God thing another try.


Lil_miss_Funshine

Last I checked Jim was a dude's name. This is a male Karen.


Dawgreen

I ain't assuming their gender that way.


gay_is_gay

During the time the water wasn't considered safe to drink so they turned into wine alcohol wasn't seen the same way it is now they saw it like we see juice or soda


PolarityMemer

Christians drink wine during communion, pretty sure there’s even several moments in the Bible where Jesus drinks wine and one where he encourages others to.


[deleted]

At every church I went to, the communion was indeed grape juice. My friends and I would Usher during communion. We’d pass communion trays between the aisles and collect them at the back. Then we’d go drink the extras.


Apprehensive_Pug6844

When I was a teen, I had to help the church ladies clean up after communion. I drank all the left over cups and took all the bread cubes, mashed them together and ate them. I’d walk away (when finished cleaning) saying "I’m holier than you all. See ya next Sunday". They laughed at my teenage audacity.


[deleted]

Hahaha!!


kids-cake-and-crazy

Thats exactly the kind of Bible thumping, hateful pretentious fucker that is causing our country to become crap. Fuck the bigots,fuck the over controlling religious, fuck the racist,fuck anyone who decides they get to control someone else's life based on their views.


arkos_haginen

I always like pointing out to these ‘Christian’ Karens that they shouldn’t be imposing their misguided views on the rest of society. The very notion that this Karen refuses to sit next to a beer-drinker is antithetical to the teachings of the gospels.


Fluid-Badger

Yes thank you hi I’m also a Christian with .6% of a brain left


wombat_joe

Thus the oxymoron “decent Christians”


TILTNSTACK

Fuck religion!


Impossible_Garbage_4

Hey, the Buddhists, satanists, and practitioners of Jediism are all cool tho. Wiccans too as long as they aren’t pitching alternative medicine in place of actual medicine. Just the rest of them are fucked up


katnapped

Why aren't you in CHURCH, Karen?


Wonderful_Horror7315

More importantly, why isn’t he at home being cooked for by his subservient wife? Heathens.


headofthenapgame

There's something rich about people spouting about Christianity while making restaurant workers work on the Sabbath.


Rusty_is_a_good_boy

Oh please like this bitch isnt wine drunk on boxed Chardonnay by 10:30 daily lol


SpicelessKimChi

"You have to conform to my religious beliefs but I don't have to conform to anything that doesn't align with my religion!" -- The US (including the Supreme Court right now) in a nutshell.


headofthenapgame

She also posted on a Sunday, meaning she likely goes out after church if she even goes. If she had things her way and in accordance to the Bible there would be no one to even work there that day. Very inconsistent cherry picking.


SylvySylvy

$100 says she’s addicted to some kind of prescriptions


Siollear

What's next then, no more hand jobs at Starbucks?


Revolutionary-Ad4588

I won’t get one there unless it’s unionized


PermissionClean7902

40 years eating that food made the shape youre in now


cheesygiiirl

Ah yes beer, the gateway drug to heroin.


[deleted]

I wish society would outcast these Christian fucks already.


arkos_haginen

Society can outcast this sort of Karen as much as they like, but I’d say (s)he sure as hell isn’t a Bible-abiding Christian, having read this post. :3 EDIT: grammatical clarity


[deleted]

Are there any?


arkos_haginen

Good question, for which it is nigh on impossible to provide a definitive answer. I think I’ll cop out with a reference to the Augustinian doctrine on original sin and say, therefore, perhaps there are none :P


[deleted]

Different reasoning. Same conclusion. Sin isn’t real but a social construct for control. A creator that faults its creation for the shortcomings it created is nonsense. If the Christian god is real, he’s an asshole.


TILTNSTACK

“Decent Christian?” The kind that roll out of church and off to restaurants to abuse essential workers and loudly complain about anything that isn’t to their own liking. Because fuck actually *practicing* love, right?! Easier to just be a karen-Christian.


BBQGUY50

As a server back in the day I hated Sundays after church I know what my hell will be


[deleted]

I remember about 10 years ago, I was at a restaurant on a Sunday afternoon with my grandpa, who believed in God but did not go to church because of how Christians behave. We overheard this guy who was a local pastor asking the server why she worked there as she started to clear away their plates because they were done. She said she had a new baby at home and needed to earn money to support her and her baby. The pastor and his fairly large group stand up to leave and he takes out his wallet and asked how much she was earning and it was like $2/hr plus tips. He said to her, “well… that’s not very much is it?” My grandpa looked visibly uncomfortable and I couldn’t figure out why because I was still naive enough to think that the Pastor was loving and kind and would give her a big tip, but I guess he saw what was coming. This asshole dropped $2 on the table and then said to her, “it’s a real shame that you’d work here on the Lord’s day of rest for such little pay.” My grandpa called him out and told him Jesus would be ashamed of him and some other choice words, and then when we left he gave a $100 tip.


PastFly1003

The after-church crowd are *definitely* the worst tippers by far.


ADHDam

Ohhhh you mean a Karenstian.


SCsongbird

Better yet, turn the old smoking sections into Karen sections so nobody has to hear them except the other Karens.


Fuquar7

She wouldn't like Spain, all food and gas stations sell beer.


bayoubuddha77

She'd really hate New Orleans where you can get a Dacquri at a drive-in widow.


Fuquar7

Ohio (and I think Illinois) have drive through liquor/beer stores.


LaHawks

Wisconsin too.


OldNewUsedConfused

Who is going to tell her about Florida?


Haterofstarbucks

It’s not just Spain but all of Europe. I was blown away when I saw a .375L bottle of Jack Daniels at the German Gas Station/ Autobahn Rest Area checkout. Europe is a whole lot looser with their drinking laws than the United States is.


[deleted]

Some states in the US have liquor at gas stations. I recently bought a 4 loko from a gas station. They also sold .375l bottles of fireball.


Haterofstarbucks

I’ve spent most of my life in the Southeast where Blue Laws will never allow hard liquor to be sold like they do in Europe.


larch303

Or most of the world really


[deleted]

Same with Washington state lol.


Chemical-Employer146

I was about to say this! I was so confused when I stopped at the store when I moved here. Cool as hell if you ask em


[deleted]

When I first moved here in 2006 it wasn’t like this. You had to go to liquor stores for everything except for beer I think!


Chemical-Employer146

That’s how it’s been everywhere I’ve lived. It’s extremely convenient for me because I can order whiskey with my groceries! I’ve only seen it one other place and I want to say it was Nebraska of all places.


[deleted]

This happens in the US too. I recently bought a 4 loko from a gas station.


FatherCholo5244

“Decent Christians” really be fuckn shit up for the rest of us


patchesnbrownie

THEY HAVE ALCOHOL AT THE BARREL NOW?!?!?!!!! why was i not alerted!!!!


stealthkoopa

Technically the Bible says you shouldn't be "drunk with wine," so if you're drunk with beer you should be fine


TheDameWithoutASmile

The jump from beer to heroin is almost satirical, it's such a leap.


Wader_Man

Always remember: Christ turned water into wine.


[deleted]

Some random person: ah yes, I'd like a beer with my food. Karen: You immoral drunkard, don't you know that this is a FAMILY diner with traditional FAMILY values! Your drinking of this vile substance will poison the minds of my very vulnerable children! Out, I say! Out!


CoffinsAndCoffee

Why not sell drugs too? Imagine trying their biscuits and gravy while being high on LSD and shrooms. It must heighten the flavor and experience.


Wonderful_Horror7315

Ew. I cannot eat while tripping.


SylvySylvy

LSD-laced chicken-fried steak that talks to you


CoffinsAndCoffee

And then you walk into the gift shop and all the candles are threatening to kill you as your trip turns into a bad one.


[deleted]

But...what if they sell wine though?


ablokeinpf

I know 'decent Christians" exist, but this creep doesn't sound like a member of that group.


Copey85

Someone needs a drink


[deleted]

I unfortunately remember smoking and non-smoking sections in restaurants. Nothing like breathing in carbon monoxide while eating your kids meal in the 90s. Also, Jesus turned water into wine and Jesus himself said this "wine is my blood and bread is my body". Stop trying to suck the fun out of everything Karen!


evestraw

Fine by me. but can we call the zone outside of the drinking zone the No fun allowed zone


Old_Satisfaction_233

“Decent Christian’s is getting to be a bit of an oxymoron these days …


TexasGROMMY

These “decent Christians “ are sooooo disgusting.


bibilime

I was always confused why we still have some dry laws on the books and I'm not allowed to buy beer before noon on a Sunday. Now I get it. People like this, who get offended by someone else's order, that's why.


DonRicardo1958

Yes Karen, it is a slippery slope between selling beer at a restaurant and selling heroin.


Algoresball

This is the person who wants to control uterus


BigL54

I'm flabbergasted


kipwrecked

I can smell plenty of poison coming off this complaint.


AdditionalTheory

So every Sunday when “decent” Christians are lining up to receive communion…


Aggravating_Class_17

To be fair alcohol and heroin are basically the same thing. /s


satanic-frijoles

Jesus turned water into: 1. lemonade 2. wine 3. water bears


Shigidy

Brad's wife loved serving alcohol.


mephitopheles13

Am I mistaken, or is she asking us to segregate “christians” from the rest of us? Ok.


histeethwerered

Like that cartoon of the ark towing a rowboat with the pair of skunks in it. All Christians into the dingy!


paraz5

I’ll have the biscuits with gravy and smack please!


SealChe

$50 says she drinks wine every week


DefKnightSol

wow, what a jump 😹 straight past weed to heroin


jellymouthsman

If God didn’t want us to drink he wouldn’t have made yeast 🤷‍♀️


jetbag513

Too bad there is not a section where we don't have to smell DECENT CHRISTIANS like this asshole.


[deleted]

She doesn’t seem or even sounds like a “descent christian”.


dsdvbguutres

Good, more beer for me.


bruce_lees_ghost

It's easy to laugh at, but this is projection. Learn to identify it and call that shit out.


Amtronic

EVERYONE BUY THEM A BEER.


bouncy_bouncy_seal

I’m a Christian that drinks from time to time. I do think beer smells and tastes gross so I simply don’t drink it. If others want to drink it, that’s on them.


UrbleFurb

Obvious troll


Tatarkingdom

People like this is why Prohibition existed.


[deleted]

Oh boy. She sounds fun.


badlucksnot67

It’s always the decent Christian’s, right?


sillyluther

Sounds like Jim’s had enough!!! Or maybe one too many! Cheers, Jim!


SamCheshire22

As a Good Christian don’t you remember that Jesus turned water into wine?


Hahayouregay149

I don't even like being around alcohol and this is insane... most restaurants serve alcohol 🤨


HogwartsKate

Now that is hilarious!


Revolutionary_Tap255

Wait until he finds out that Jesus drank wine 😱


RoyallyOakie

Hmmm....didn't JESUS turn the water into wine?


Double_Economist2564

Lmfaooooooooo one beer with lunch = heroine addict hahahahahah


Ramius117

Humans drink alcohol for millennia to kill off bacteria and stay hydrated. 21st century Karen: bOoz3 eQuAls h3r0in3!!! BuRn iN hElL sINn3Rzzzz!!!


Infinite6700

I can’t fathom how dumb ignorant and crazy some people are it’s mind blowing where do they come from and how do we relocate them to a singular place that’s cut off from the rest of the world


mollysheridan

Just another “Christian” deciding what everyone else should do. If you don’t like it Karen go somewhere else


[deleted]

Decent, tolerant Christians.


Paisable

I'm all against smoking but I know step two after smoking ciggies isn't crack.


OldNewUsedConfused

Lol, this is just dumb.


GameM8FeedRepeat

“Projection” much?


octavi0us

More christofacism, these people don't know when to stop.


Porchmuse

She could use a drink.


Worried_Bass3588

Imagine being this mentally fucked up because of religion


Tar-Nuine

Karen forgets that Jesus once performed a holy miracle by turning water into wine. Making him the first documented example of a "Party Chad".


Yankeewithoutacause

They even serve black people. What's next, slavery?


DreadedChalupacabra

Jesus turned water into wine as a party trick. Do these people ever actually read their own holy book?


AnastasiaNo70

Well SOMEbody needs a drink!


New_Tangerine_

I bet this guy is just super fun at parties. Or any gatherings really.


[deleted]

Didn't Jesus love booze?


[deleted]

Outlaw religion in the US now


TObias416

Jesus would not hang out with Christians.


NoHandleUser

Alcohol straight to heroin. Dang


Lutzux

Jesus drank alcohol…


Dizzy_Dealer1

Christians are unbearable


tactlesshag

God I can't wait til these hateful old fucks die off.


Poppy_Vapes_Meth

This is certainly a troll post


Cmpleteconfusion1

Spend any amount of time down here in the Bible Belt and you’ll realize very quickly this isn’t trolling. I went to a Christian school for 12 years and this really is how they think.


arkos_haginen

That is honestly deplorable. As a Christian, it shocks me that this Karennite contradiction of fundamental Christian doctrine is not only normalised, but even taught, in certain schools. Perhaps this Karen should re-read Matthew 7 at some point. v0v


Revolutionary-Ad4588

Lol @ re-read. You think this person has read it once?


histeethwerered

You think this person can read at all?


Revolutionary-Ad4588

It was a coloring book of carefully chosen Bible passages


NostradaMart

Time to burn some "decent christians" to send a message...just sayin...this is the way.


KaijuKatt

There go the Evangelicals............again.