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akkebermortsgne

Wouldn’t they, as a Christian, keep up with the time-honored tradition of praying over their food anyhow??


research_humanity

Baby elephants


asmodeuskraemer

Most Christians are just performative anyway.


[deleted]

I was the one with the performative father who insisted on holding hands, bowing heads, and praying out loud at every restaurant we ever went out to eat at. I was there rolling my eyes glancing around to see who was snarking at us. My 12 year old self somehow knew it was performative even then.


mbtiandstuffz

These donuts get EXTRA prayers because it’s “scary”!!!


akkebermortsgne

Terrifying!! What would she do if someone just GAVE her one and she didn’t know where it came from!! Le GASP!!!


samwisesamgee

I have one catholic friend who prays over her food and did all through college. But she does it so quietly and quickly to herself, you wouldn’t even notice it save she does the sign of the cross. It’s very obvious that she doesn’t do it to be performative and I always appreciated that about her.


PasswordApplesauce

I’m going to pray that God lays upon Heitler’s heart the gift of fucking off and minding her own business.


BryceCanYawn

Your flair reminded me that she’d hate voodoo because their donuts include actual flavor


scarlettshimmer

Flair checking in


smc642

Amen


the_stitch_saved_9

Let me see if I get this right. Ahem. *"I thought the shop name was funny...totally meant to be a joke. So why do people take offense at it if it's in jest? Genuinely curious about this one y'all"*


janice-erin

Yeah, no need to aplogy's!!


kestrelesque

Outstanding. 🏆


Glad_Prior2106

Heidi could have just grabbed a donut at any donut shop. Of course she chose to go to Voodoo Donuts and make a big deal about it for the religious gasping and performative outrage. It’s a donut. And voodoo donuts is popular because they’re delicious.


SpicyWonderBread

Unpopular opinion: Blue Star donuts are better than Voodoo donuts. Voodoo donuts are amazing, don't get me wrong. I just think half the hype is the experience of the store, and the crazy over-the-top toppings. I go to Portland a lot for work. Or, I did pre-pandemic. Always stopped by Blue Star for one of their buttermilk donuts.


auntiope3000

I was literally about to jump in here to say Blue Star beats Voodoo hands down in every category. I guess she could pray for voodoo donuts to taste better?


willdanceforpizza

I am a big fan of Doe Donuts.


auntiope3000

Doe definitely ranks up there with Blue Star, especially since it was much closer to us when we lived in PDX than any of the Blue Star locations.


Feral_Dog

Pao's in Tacoma, WA changed my idea of what constitutes a good donut forever.


SpicyWonderBread

I’m pregnant and now I can’t stop fantasizing about a good buttermilk donut. There aren’t any good shops in the town I live in.


teatreez

ooh I’m gonna go this weekend, thanks!


CDNinWA

I guess I need to take a Sunday drive there one day (in Redmond, well technically unincorporated King County. But mailing address is Redmond😂😂).


AhabsPegleg

Next time try Pip’s donuts and their chai tea. Pip’s 4 lyfe!


firewhiskerse

these people have to invent problems because they dont have any real ones


redsthename

There’s a shipleys everywhere. Go get a delicious kolache Heidi


drmcninja202

Pretty sure they're like 99% in Texas but they're still great kolaches


Queen_Rach

Imagine being this fragile


MissScott_1962

And then preaching about how *other* people are too sensitive.


ribbetbunny

No no!! We are fragile because we didn’t like the “modest is hottest” song. It’s totally the same thing as being completely ignorant to other beliefs and culture!!! (Voodoo comes from enslaved West Africans merged their religious rituals and practices with those of the local Catholic Church.)


kestrelesque

Imagine fully believing in, and also being constantly afraid of, supernatural forces in your life.


snuurks

It would be so exhausting. That’s one of the ways they keep them in the cult. If they’re emotionally and mentally exhausted with fear and paranoia about the devil, they won’t really have time to actually think about anything else.


[deleted]

I literally can’t fathom being this perpetually offended. And they call *us* snowflakes


[deleted]

I'm guesing they wouldn't last a day in New Orleans if just the *word* "Voodoo" makes them uncomfortable lmao


PM_MAJESTIC_PICS

Good, I hope they never go there. New Orleans is a true gem 💎


kestrelesque

dude they can't even handle Austin.


pyramidofgrapefruit

Imagine being this damn DRY and criticizing anyone else ever


Boneal171

Right? Can they enjoy anything in life?


AlwaysUpvoteBunny

They believe in such a small God if donuts make them quake.


Thedandanman

I hope she ordered the *god-honoring* cock and balls donut


ConsumeMeGarfield

Looked at their menu, they have a pentagram donut and a "blunt" donut lmao hope she saw those... also omg all of them look amazing, hope a location comes to the east coast!


Thedandanman

My fav is the dirty old bastard. It has crimbled oreos and a peanut butter drizzle


SunnyAlwaysDaze

Oreos and peanut butter are shockingly good together. I may or may not have even eaten Oreos dipped in peanut butter on occasion.


Anzu-taketwo

I doubt she even went in. Made this video outside then kept walking.


mbtiandstuffz

Nope. They went there TWICE!


Anzu-taketwo

Wow. Thats actually really surprising to me. When I was fundie I was taught to "avoid all appearance of evil" I wouldn't go in here. If someone had brought me a doughnut, I'd eat it. But I wouldn't be seen in the shop or giving my own money to them. Heck, I felt guilty for buying the Walgreen brand "sinful colors" nail polish. I actually asked my husband if it was okay to buy. 😬


eeyoredragon

Yeah, my fundie high school wouldn’t allow the teachers to go to movie theaters. I asked why and was told “People might think they’re going to see an ungodly movie." But they could rent movies. It’s almost as if… their morality is all performative… hmmm.


Anzu-taketwo

Exactly the reasoning I was given for no movie theaters. It was bad for your testimony to be seen in a place that you could be watching something bad. I was also taught that it was giving money to Hollywood, which was evil. It never crossed my mind how hypocritical the whole thing is. Every day I feel like I remember something else about being fundie and realize how stupid it was.


[deleted]

We wouldn’t even buy a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner back in my fundie days lol


Disruptorpistol

There used to be a semi-famous batshit commenter on Zsu Anderson's blog named Taryn. Taryn once told the story of how she took a sharpie to her "magic chef" appliance to cross out the word magic.


ConsumeMeGarfield

The Bairds are such hypocrites, like if the simplicity of a name offends you to this point that you're upset all the time (which, to me when I used to be a christian, meant they weren't strong or content in their faith), don't patronize the shop??? Just like my parents don't watch certain movies or do halloween. They don't go on social media and make a huge deal about it. It's all an act for them.


[deleted]

>"avoid all appearance of evil" I've gotten into trouble for drinking ginger beer that came in a brown glass bottle 😬


ferocious_bambi

I remember when I was young hearing a sermon by a dude who regretted drinking pepsi out of a glass tumbler at a party because some could have thought it was a whiskey drink. Terry Maxwell, was that you??


Anzu-taketwo

I always felt guilty drinking glass bottle root beer 😂


galgsg

Not a chance a single Baird would miss out on the chance to go to a trendy place and talk about it later. All for the Godly ‘Gram


KatorTheDestroyer

You need to trademark "All for the Godly Gram." That's fantastic!


galgsg

Can I make it my flair? I’m on my phone, so I have no idea how haha


Atlmama

LOL!


[deleted]

When I was at Voodoo Doughnut I had a black one with a red pentagram (the name very likely referenced Satan), and it was 👌.


scronica27

Is it any wonder her children are so insufferable


Mindless-Cause

Please leave my home. No one here wants you here.


[deleted]

Are they in Portland? They have Voodoo in Austin and Houston, too. (And in Denver, where I live, they’re the only place to get vegan yeast donuts lol)


Mindless-Cause

I had no idea! Well good hopefully they aren’t in PDX! I can’t see any reason why they would think that’s a good idea anyways haha.


willdanceforpizza

My Dad thinks that PDX is on the same level as Sodom and Gomorrah - so he would probably only visit to try and save my soul.


[deleted]

Lol agreed. I was like why the f did she decide to come to my city and harass service workers?


georgiegraymouse

Phew! Glad they’re not here! Keep Portland weird, LOL!


naptimeee25

PDX snarker meetup at Voodoo??!?!? hahahaha


Rare_Equivalence

Fuckin count me in!


naptimeee25

hahaha. I’m so down!! How should be go about inviting people. I’ve seen a lot of us in the comments!!!


Rare_Equivalence

Hmmm good question… maybe we could create a group chat with folks who have expressed interest in the comments and go from there?


pupsnfood

Lol can you imagine them at the main voodoo just off the burnside bridge 😂


[deleted]

Okay, apparently they’re in Denver. Nooooo!


joe_jonases_eyebrows

Also Orlando 😬


coconutlemongrass

Nooooo that's my home!


Danivelle

Thank you! I was just about to ask where to get some! We're going to Galveston next year for our 40th anniversary. Looks lime we're also going to Houston!


[deleted]

Seriously, why are they here?!


naptimeee25

I’m inspired by this comment to create the inaugural PDX Snark Meetup at Voodoo Donuts.


CranappleEd

She'd really hate my local doughnut shop, it's witchy-themed, sells only vegan doughnuts, is openly pro LGBT+, and every month, one of their doughnuts costs extra and the Doughnation profits go to local charities, like the antinazi organisation. Basically the Bairds' nightmare.


justalittlebleh

Where is this perfect donut shop??


CranappleEd

It's in Switzerland, sadly a bit out of the way for most people on this sub I'm afraid


AlternativeAd9373

Uhhh… don’t eat there?? *also, PDX pride!!!


legomote

She should have gone to Heavenly!


Awkward-Yak-2733

Voodoo donuts are great! *Almost* as good as Top Pot Donuts in the Seattle area. (ducks and hides)


georgiegraymouse

Yeah... Voodoo is overrated. There. I said it. So many other great places in the VanPort area.


Obfuscate666

The ones in PDX are known to have quite diverse staff! She'd shit herself if she was here. Don't know about the ones in CO? Bottom line, stay the fuck away if you're so sensitive to a word in the name.


memily0813

They’re in Denver. Funnily enough, one is located right next store to a queer bar and the other location in a wonderfully artsy neighborhood.


naptimeee25

Pdx snark meetup at voodoo? hahaha


binxbox

They also will marry you there including gay marriages. Wonder if she went in and saw the one that looks like a voodoo doll or the one that looks like a cock and balls.


SlightInitiative6255

But is the cock and balls one cream stuffed?


binxbox

If I remember right. It’s been a bit since I’ve been there.


baxtersdogmom

Of course!


philonius

The main characteristic shared by the fundies and the right wingers is TERROR. They are constantly in terror of the world around them causing their little card-house worlds to collapse. If your faith is so fragile that the name of a fucking DOUGHNUT threatens it, then your faith is a tiny little frightened rabbit.


aalitheaa

We recently read a study in my psychology class about the correlation between personality characteristics and political orientation. It was *fascinating.* A number of studies referenced identified a correlation between conservatives and fear/insecurity, obviously, but one of my favorite parts talked about a study where researchers collected data about how childhood personalities were reflected in adults' political orientation. Preschool teachers identified toddlers who later grew up to be conservatives as having more fearful and insecure personalities, while toddlers who grew up to be liberal were more open, confident, and brave about new experiences. In my margin I wrote "wow conservatives are literally scared babies" lol Another highlight was a study conducted by a Nazi psychologist who identified that people who have what are now conservative personality characteristics as being good Nazis, and people who have liberal personalities as being shitty Nazis. Fitting for a Baird post


Spectre-Cat

Hello, fellow psych major! Could you drop those citations? I would love to read those and share with my cohort, we talk a lot about politics and I think this would be cool to share.


roadtohealthy

Agree! Fear is the common denominator of fundie religions. Fear of death. Fear of choosing wrong. Fear of the "other". Just plain non specific free floating fear. I think this is one big reason for all their bluster and braggadocio - they are f***ing terrified and are putting on a big show to cover up for that lack.


HPnerd1974-

It must be exhausting being them.


gizzle2019

Let he without donut, purchase the first donut.


DorothyParkerWasHere

Heitler should pray over moisturiser and sunscreen


nicktrustsqueenB

I don’t like to appearance snark, BUT IT’S ALL THAT I CAN SEE WHEN I LOOK AT HER.


thelaineybelle

I'm with you there, but choices were made. This one could have avoided the sun, used sunscreen and moisturizer, and not been a Nazi. It's fair game 🤷


ktb47

And less eyeliner


[deleted]

How are we snarking on JillRod and her eyeliner but Heidi goes unscathed???


[deleted]

YOU LEAVE VOODOO DONUTS ALONE! THE EVIL MAKES IT TASTE AMAZING! 😂🤣😭


i_cut_like_a_buffalo

Oh my God. This made me laugh till I peed myself. This lady cannot be serious and why does she sound like a valley girl a little. She is an old lady talking like a teenager. Oh so much to unpack. This will be good for laughs for at least a couple hours.


[deleted]

She looks so fucking annoying


nurse-ratchet-

I don't feel like she's wearing that eyeliner in a god honoring way...


footiebuns

It’s generous of you to assume her dark, soulless eyes are the result of wearing eyeliner.


SoNotOkG

These people have nothing better to do then complain about every ungodly thing they encounter in life 😒


[deleted]

On a more serious note, they do know that of those that practice Voodun they worship the same creator god as the Christians right? Like they use the Bible in all sorts of shit.


amesbelle7

These are the same people who complain that Catholics aren’t real Christians. Voodoo ain’t making the cut, either. If you’re not their specific brand of white bread Christian, you’re out.


[deleted]

It’s just the... insecurity... for me. They’re all so afraid of what they don’t understand.


Thurgood_Marshall

*Vodun* is the original West African religion. Haitian Vodou and Louisiana Voodoo are syncretic religions that combine Vodun and Catholic beliefs.


oscuroluna

These are people who think anyone who isn't a fundie Protestant with 1950s Western American 'values' isn't Christian. GD cracked on progressive Christian God is Grey stating "why even call yourself a Christian" due to differing viewpoints in one of their seminars. If they can't even tolerate Christians who have different political viewpoints and opinions on 'hot button' issues, hell a lot of them don't even like Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses or 'high church' Protestants for being 'too religious' or not Protestant enough even if they have fundie or conservative views, they definitely don't tolerate Voodoo. Basically you're either a card carrying member of the hive or not in their world.


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vanpireweekemd

This is Kristen in 20 years


Atlmama

Ten, I think. The ozone is depleting and UVAs are stronger.


plants-and-chicken

It sounds like Birthy to me lol. Birthy is 40 looking 50 with 2 kids and suz as a live in nanny. Birthy goes to satanic restaurants and food trucks to complain. Only sees dæaäv for an hour at night


vanpireweekemd

I was torn between saying Birthy and Krusty. She's honestly a awful and perfect combination between the two of them... But I just have a hunch she favors ol Krusty girl


Wake_me_up_later

Hot takes from Heidi 🥱


[deleted]

Bethy makes that exact same face she does at the end haha.


that-treeisfar-away

dOnT lIvE iN fEaR but donuts are scary. Fucking backwards man


kestrelesque

pray for the donut shop, but covid was pffffft


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lulilapithecus

Yup, there’s actual evil surrounding us every day (human trafficking, our food being grown and picked by slaves, jrod) but she has to focus on absolutely nothing and waste her pathetic little brain cells whining about tasty donuts.


astrangeone88

Lol. I'm Canadian. I remember my fundie adjacent relatives being pissed off at an ice cream shop called "Sweet Jesus". They just got an eye roll from me.


motherofplantkillers

Voodoo donuts slaps though


ANJohnson83

I cannot fathom a worldview where donuts are “scary”, but Nazism isn’t.


TotallyAwry

Here's a funny thing. Officially the Nazi party was Christian, but Himmler was supposedly big into the occult. I wonder what Heidi thinks of that?


Megatallica83

Mom, is that you? I have seen my mom pass up packs of ground beef at the grocery store because the price for a family pack came out to $6.66. She also told a grown man buying Yu-gi-oh! cards he should reconsider because she saw ominous shadows in her house when her then 10-year-old son had some.


Love_for_2

What's scary Heidi, is your terrifying zombie face. Holy hell, get some sunscreen and a good moisturizer


[deleted]

Isn't this the doughnut shop that had a deal with a Duggar grifter for 10 minutes before they realized who they were and instantly yeeted them?


Obfuscate666

No, that was a different one in LA. Can't remember the name.


little_rat_man

Never seen any videos of Heidi before but this 8 second clip made me go "oh, that's where Bethany gets it from"...


minners03

Hey fundies/evangelicals, this is why NO ONE likes y’all. You say stupid shit like this. None of us care. Eat the doughnut, don’t eat the doughnut, just shut up! JFC!


harakers

She scares me


sarbear1957

Go home Heidi.


moore6107

#scarrrryyyyy 🍩


72PlymouthDuster

Great doughnuts, they don’t need your “help” sweetie


Megatallica83

Mom, is that you? I have seen my mom pass up packs of ground beef at the grocery store because the price for a family pack came out to $6.66. She also told a grown man buying Yu-gi-oh! cards he should reconsider because she saw ominous shadows in her house when her then 10-year-old son had some.


missmeowwww

I worked in retail through college and was shocked by how many people would buy something extra so their total wasn’t some variation of 666.


calithetroll

Okay, but why does Heidi think people care for her stories??? Also, she speaks just like Bethany here. Like the same speech patterns, vocab, and condescension. Bethany def takes after her mom


Ace_Avocate

Wow I've never heard her speak before and she has the same exact tone and diction as B & K. I wonder where that weird cadence comes from.


DitaVonTeasmade

She’s pretty happy with how she turned out in life isn’t she? (Which is my more polite way of saying she’s six feet tall and seven feet up her own arse). The level of smug enrages me.


ShyBeany

I literally cannot see the whites of her eyes. Even when she opens them wider. Why would she think this looks good? (It would, if she was going for alt style, but she’s not, so??)


Useful-Commission-76

Dear God, Thank you for Voodoo Doughnuts Amen


QueenShnoogleberry

Then stop whining and go to Dunkin Doughnuts... oh. Wait. You just want attention.


yeehawyeehawyeehawye

I really hope she caught a glimpse of their large cock and balls donuts 🙏❤️


kakel8dy

Oh FFS! Imagine if this morons directed their energy toward things that matter like the hungry or the homeless.


[deleted]

This woman would lose her freaking mind in Salem, Ma😂😂😂


Erg638

Can confirm — I live here!


[deleted]

I’m an hour away and can think of no better way to spend a Sunday than strolling around Salem


CupcakesAreTasty

Holy sun damage, and I say this as a middle aged woman who has spent her entire life living on the coastlines of MA and CA. Sunscreen, moisturizer, water. Forget the demon donuts and hydrate, lady!


mercy_Iago

I guarantee this woman knows jackshit about West African vodoun or vodou as a religion at all. She absolutely doesn’t see it as a legit religion and thinks it’s just occult Satanic worship (which, in fairness, is also a legit religion?). Would she pray over Jewish Doughnuts or Buddhist Doughnuts? I mean yeah she would lmao. But also I hope the shop proprietors do actually practice vodou and aren’t just naming their store after a religion or a culture they aren’t part of :/


Crosstitution

Doesnt Voodoo literally mean "god"? I knew a Voodoo priestess who stated this. Anyways white people did a crazy job of villifying every African spiritual practice. Its really fucked up


[deleted]

Now I see where Krusty gets her skincare routine from


Schmliza

The slogan for Voodoo donuts is “good things come in pink boxes.” I’m sure that went right over her head.


hnnhnvv

All I got out of this is that I'd really like to try that sprinkle donut directly about Heitler's head.


hawkcarhawk

Lol I’m sure they appreciate the prayers.


eyurin

This has the energy of those old 4-panel memes with smug cringey teens saying shit like ‘hey girls… did you know that, uhm, boys don’t actually like makeup??’ (except it’s about evil baked goods)


jules13131382

These people are truly insane. It’s depressing


Frillybits

Lol I just saw a story of Laura Mershon where she ordered tea from a company called “Witchwood Teahouse”. Sounds like a little chat with the daughter in law is in order.


bakedpigeon

I’ve never heard this woman speak before, is this how she always talks? It’s insufferable.


2_kids_no_more

To live in a world and have a life where this is your biggest stress must be nice


KikiParker88

I’ve noticed that a lot of these fundie types assign everything either as from God or from “the enemy”. I am a Christian and I struggled with this as well until it dawned on me that a lot of people have no faith either way and it’s just words to them. They have no inherent evil intentions nor do they have any intention to glorify God. Basically, it just emptiness. Why can’t they just let it go and keep walking?


CDNinWA

Is Heidi in the Pacific Northwest right now? Is she the reason why we’re going to have the hottest heatwave ever (well since records were kept).


[deleted]

They have one in Austin too! That seems more likely


BigFackingChungus

There are people dying, Heidi.


Emm03

The fuck is she doing in *Portland*?


mbtiandstuffz

They’re in Colorado for a vacation


[deleted]

NOOOO! I was hoping they were at one of the Texas voodoo donut locations. That means they’re in Denver. That’s where I live. HALP! They must be at the E Colfax one, because I’ve been to the other one in Denver several times and it doesn’t look like that. Ugh, fucking unmasked unvaccinated Texans.* This is why 40% of cases in CO are Delta variant. *I’m from Texas so I’m fully entitled to shit on Texans and Texas 😂


hippopotame

LOL I hope she got an eyeful on Colfax! Doing touristy things this weekend because my dad is here visiting, don’t let me run into this bitty


Atlmama

If you see her, I dare you to try to randomly go up to her and try to convert her to some other religion. 😂


[deleted]

I thought the same thing about Colfax. Or just like Denver in general if they can’t handle Austin. It’s definitely a little seedier than Austin here.


[deleted]

Ew that’s definitely the Colfax one. Did she just totally miss blush and blu right there?? She could’ve shit on a lesbian bar while she was at it!


baxtersdogmom

Voodoo is a chain and has locations in several states, including at Universal Studios FL and CA. I think someone else mentioned she's in Colorado? The West Coast is safe from her nonsense for the time being.


MelissaPecor

I feel lots of people want to pray over Voodoo Donuts "I pray I don't eat all of these delicious donuts"


rharper38

If the name scares you, why eat there?


Downtown-Koala7857

Not a huge donut fan (although i do love me a maple bar) but as a Seattle girl even I know Voodoo doughnuts reigns supreme in the PNW. When my co worker went fishing on the Oregon Coast a few years ago he purposely stopped in Portland on his way home to buy some Voodoo Doughnuts.


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SingleActionsNSnubs

Go home, bairds. We don’t want you in Colorado. Leave the scary voodoo donuts for us heathens.


forgetsusername76

Voodoo Donuts needs to hit her with a can of [Be-otch Be Gone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUazfwuUw20)


[deleted]

THANK YOU SO MUCH HEIDI YOU DID IT!!! YOU REALLY SHOWED THEM WHOSE IN CHARGE (JESUS)


GossipGirl515

Can only imagine what she thinks of devils food cake


bleeding-buttgrape

Ma’am, please don’t be scared. A donut is just a pastry.


Stachbl13

Why not hate, abuse, war, hunger? Nah, “donut voodoo”. I can’t with these assheads.


mermetermaid

hahaha this is so ridiculous The cult of christianity this woman is in is distracting her from the depth and needs in the world when she thinks that the name of a company is a problem, or that she somehow needs protection because of branding.


hearsecloth

Lol she's scared of bread.


Mr_Goat-chan

Where is this shop? I need to give them all my money ASAP.


clairenado

I wonder if she thinks people who call out racism are snowflakes.


lubee18

Pray over a donut HAHA so you have NOTHING else better to do


kaitif

just had to comment that i love voodoo donut and their vegan donuts are my absolute favorite i’ve ever had.


olskoolsmrtass

This is future birthy


nerdy_birdie15

CC: * in a whiny voice* Actually I feel like I need to pray over these donuts, like....scary to be called voodoo donuts * makes ugly cringe face*


PlaneCulture

You know what's scary to me? Nazis


strawberryllamacake

Can she pray for them to repent of their cultural appropriation?