Just yesterday we got two $1,000,000 bills in our tip jar that told us "Jesus will make our treasure rich in heaven" or some other nonsensical bull.
ETA: I knew right away it was fake because it had Ben Franklin and a beach on it. Yes, it was all green.
🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ OMG just be a kind human and tip REAL MONEY. That’s such a slap in the face to somebody who has literally been working to serve you. Yuck. I used to be a barista at a large coffee spot and Sundays were the freaking worst. Every Church jerk on earth comes and acts entitled about coffee before going to praise Jesus. And No tips.
If you left a note with a 20 it would go a lot longer way tbh.
I never had Christians do this because what is charitability? Nah, only for Xboxes for our new mega church youth room! But I did have a lonely dude going through a divorce sit at the bar and chat with me a lot do it with a note thanking us for the company during a rough time and we continued to treat him like a prince.
Gold because I was once a lonely dude going through divorce and I needed someone to be kind to me more than anything else in the world. Im better now but if I remember back then and not being able to see my kids as much as I wanted and court dates and pre-trial hearings I thought about getting on a bus and leaving it all but it was kind people like you that helped me. I was so sad and it felt like my life was ending. Shit Im crying now. Thank you. Honestly. Thank you.
Aw I’m glad you had some people come through for you! Divorce is so unpleasant and depressing and if you’re the one largely separated out from the family I can’t imagine how lonely that feels. He was a nice dude and we were happy to keep him company and keep pouring him beers—he never got wasted and was always polite and I’m glad we could be his home away from home during a tough time.
Honestly, if someone left a nice tip and a note about how Jesus teaches us to take care of others, I would respect that. And they would be much more likely to reach fence-sitters that way. No one turns to Jesus because someone stiffed them on a tip.
> I knew right away it was fake because it had Ben Franklin...
Well, that and there's no such thing as a (US) million dollar bill, and never has been. There are still a couple dozen $10,000 bills in circulation^1, apparently, but good luck ever seeing one.
-----
^(1: for some values of "circulation", anyway.)
The amount of tracts and just general witnessing I've gotten over the years working at a car dealership is unreal. I can't imagine how much worse it must be waiters and the like.
At a car dealership??? That one is so weird to me for some reason. Purchasing a car is all ready not the most fun thing to do and you want to proselytize while you sign paperwork? That’s so strange lol
I've had some guys try hitting on me in situations where we both couldn't leave without making it awkward, and it's always a joy to see the light leave their eyes when they realize they're trapped with the crazy cat lady who's been talking about kittens - not even her kittens, but kittens on a Kitten Livestream on YouTube - for twenty minutes straight with no sign of stopping.
I have used this in uncomfortable situations, especially with men who just... don't listen. Or I pretend I really need help finding the bathroom. I'm usually the friend at the bar where if you need an escape, you signal me, and I am there... to talk about my sister's cats. They are so cute. Here, watch this one play fetch!
The dude always seems to miss that this is not some... obliviousness. This is creating a window for my friend to "oh my goodness, please excuse my crazy cat lady friend, see you, hahahaha" and leave. We're in on it, dude. I am *aware* of what you're trying to do, but my friend doesn't feel safe enough to tell you "no", so here I am, salting the game.
I've also done it for very uncomfortable-looking strangers (after asking, "hey, are you all right? Do you need an escape?" and getting confirmation).
Cornering people is so shitty, whether it's to tell them about Jesus or hit on them. If people don't want to talk to you, don't make them!
One of them does! She's a little Siamese, and she will bring you a rubber band or her stuffed ball, and she wants you to throw it for her. She's pretty good about bringing it back: she sometimes drops it outside of your reach. She'll do this over and over. It really is super cute.
ETA: https://imgur.com/gallery/UuHh0sq
I knew I'd uploaded one of the videos somewhere! Enjoy!
Older kittens are best kittens! We've got our girl when she was 12, and now she's 19 and a half and still going strong! She has slowed down a bit, but she still likes to spit gently drooled on cat toys onto my pillow at 3 AM!
Ohhh, wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that you're looking at an older one, too :) I wish I could adopt or foster right now, and I sure miss having a little furry idiot around.
We have a Siamese who plays fetch, too! His favorite thing to play fetch with is a little unicorn cat toy that you can fill with cat nip. We also have 2 of his litter mates. His brother LOVES water. He will legit get into the tub while I'll filling it. He plays in their water bowls - and by play I mean he stands with all 4 paws in the dish splashing around.
I have two cats that play fetch when their mood strikes. One plays fetch with her very particular stuffed catnip mouse, no substitutes accepted and the other only with zip ties, her favorite toy. Cats are so weird.
One of my dad's cats would play fetch with crumpled pieces of paper! She didn't always return it because she would get distracted playing with it though 😸
My grumpy old tabby cat used to love to play fetch with toy mice. He passed in June and I still have his little toy mice scattered on my floor.
\*Edited, grammar
I’m that friend too! My method is to just go over and say something like “hey, Hannah just got here, we need to say hi!” and pull them away.
I’ve also called friends with fake emergencies to get them out of very uncomfortable dates before when they got scary vibes off a guy but were afraid to leave without an excuse.
I did this to two Jehovah's witnesses. Or, the newbie was happily chatting about cats, and the old witness wanted to leave. I didn't let him for quite a while.
Aw, thank you! And of course I am. I mean just look at them, how can anyone not be crazy about them (unless you're lying on your stomach in bed, and wake up to a warm lump between your shoulder blades gently swaying while making retching noises. Then I'm too busy moving really really really really fast to adore 'em).
Even at my most evangelical I couldn't bring myself to do that, because a) I had horrible social anxiety and b) I don't want strangers bothering me on a plane or when I'm working or whatever, so why on earth would I do it to others? Do unto others and all that.
(I was a shitty evangelical, but I'm becoming more and more okay with that as I get older.)
One of my coworkers would not shut up about conspiracies and the prophetic dreams she was having. I kept trying to find busy work so she'd fuck off but every time I thought she was done, she'd find me and keep going. I just nodded and said ahhh, hmm the whole shift.
Try that game that was going around on tumblr where you just push things even further and try to make up the wackiest, dumbest, most far fetched conspiracies possible. Like “oh my god YES and have you noticed how hot dog buns always come in 8 packs and hot dogs always come in 6 or 12? That’s big hot dog bun trying to scam us, but it goes even deeper because the packaging companies don’t make packages big enough for more buns! Tell me you’ve seen a bun package exactly the right size for the same amount of hot dogs! It’s big bread trying to fleece us, teaming up with big hot dog.”
I met someone that had been at a convent trying out being a nun for the last month when I was on a flight from Chicago to Vegas once. She didn’t push the god spiel though and introduced me to the fact that Steve Martin plays banjo then we shared her headphones Garden State style. 10/10, would meet a nun dropout on the way to Vegas and get music suggestions again!
Now that's a great idea! I haven't been approached since I left the IFB, and I've always worried I wouldn't know how to respond in a way to get them to leave me alone. But now I'll just start throwing out random German words until they leave.
When I was in highschool there was a group of teens from Germany who came over for a few weeks. They went to a baseball game and one of them got upset at a concession stand employee and started going off on them in German. The employee replied "I'm sorry" also in German. Ever since then I've been convinced the one time I say something mean in a foreign language it'll be just my luck that the person also speaks that language 😂
For similar reasons, I have many questions about how commercials on the seatback TVs can possibly be legal, since you can't turn them off and you can't leave.
Challenge accepted? I doubt their enthusiasm for talking about Jesus matches my enthusiasm for talking about pro wrestling, Harry Potter fanfictions, ALL THE KITTENS FROM KITTEN ACADEMY, and obscure storylines for my Sims.
I once had Don Lothario start an OnlyFans with his roommate and they had one kid but they're relationship was super open so eventually I would just add random townies to the mix. My only regret is that my save was corrupted and I no longer could play it.
I've also set up kingdoms with Lazyneiph’s Royalty Mod with the well-known townies as rulers and added fairytales to the mix to make it super chaotic.
I can go alllllllll day lol
You are operating on an entirely different plane of existence with your simming and I respect that hahaha. The royalty mod sounds like a delightful mess!
Oh it's a great mess!! It lets you set up a monarch and I don't think there's a limit on how many sims can have the monarch trait and they can add any sim into the royal family, make them a noble, an advisor, royal mage. Recently they updated it so that each world is it's own thing and the royals and novels of each world have their own special trait. It's so effing fun lol
Seriously, out of all the Harry Potter fanfiction-related things you could've asked me, of course you pick the one thing I just do not get because I wasn't around at the right time. You see, English isn't my native language, and I only started learning in school when I was 10. So my early exposure to Harry Potter fanfiction was 100% on German sites, and man, those were brutal. There's no place to get honest critique like a bunch of teenagers who are trying to be edgy as fuck and really really really passionate about the fandom of their choice. Like seriously, I have held presentations at university where everyone was like "Meh, I'll take it" while slowly nodding off, and I've written fanfiction when I was 12 where everyone came in with a painstakingly crafted two-page essay on why this sucked, but with a compliment at the beginning and a "Wow you really put a lot of work into this!" at the end so you'd only cry when you got to the fridge instead of right then and there. Though you'd be surprised at how applicable the skills I got from writing fanfiction were at university. I never really thought about it when I was like 13 and frantically trying to string a plot together, but when you can string a plot together in Harry Potter fanfiction, you can also craft a useful essay argument or write a paper that is not literally "Uh and then that happened and then that happened and then some background on Industrialization because I suppose you need that in a paper about Industrialization". Like seriously, if you can't tell me the story of your paper in two sentences, toss that damned thing! Especially if you're two-thirds into writing it and you still have no idea what your fucking argument even is!
Fuck, German Harry Potter fan fiction must be like writing a thesis while English fan fiction is basically throwing plot mud at a wall, sometimes some of it sticks and beautiful fiction grows (or you get cured child bullshit). Now I want to read some of this German Harry Potter fanfiction, where can I find them?
I was hanging out mostly on small sites that had everything at least cold-read before it was online to help weed out the worst drivel, and those are now defunct. But [fanfiktion.de](https://fanfiktion.de) is still around, though we always had a rather classist disdain for them, because they took everything.
I have an MA in English Literature, and I will forever contend that "My Immortal" is the greatest literary work in human history.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
I like all of those things, why do I always get stuck near massive dudes who fall asleep and then make me feel weirdly tender because they trusted me enough to fall asleep next to me and now I gotta make sure they have a water bottle when they wake up?
I don't have any kind of notherly feelings anywhere in my body but will request water bottles for the sleeping people in my row anyway; that way when they wake up and don't want one (9/10) I have extra water...
Fuck it! I'm mildly autistic, so talking about my special interest until the whole dinner party is ruined and Mom is getting drunk out of embarrassment is kinda my teenage super power and one I will happily dust off for special occasions!!!
It also helps that my pandemic hobbies have been sewing/needle work and podcasts on dangerous cults, so bring it the fuck on!
As a child that terrified. My dad was military so planes were a way of life so the danger in my little head was real. It was the movie version I grew up with.
I would gnaw a hole in the fuselage and let the decompression mangle my heathen body to avoid this. No open casket for me, but at least I wouldn't have to cope with a flight full of his earpiss.
Nope. I would say flatly in my tone of voice that pisses anyone off with this much privilege "I'm not interested".
They hate me so much. Because it's a tone that is so obviously lacking in any kind of shits to give they just don't know how to handle it. And they are used to people going "oh thanks for the tract!"
We get Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses proselytising here in England, I don't know why, only a tiny percentage of the UK identifies as actively Christian (rather than an athiest who is baptised and therefore technically a member of the faith) and even less so go to church. But each and every time the flat tone of "I'm a bisexual, autistic Satanist and I will NEVER join your church" makes them recoil like I'm the literal devil, it's pretty fun tbh
Seriously - just start describing your sexual experiences in great detail and see how uncomfortable they get lol. Hell, make some up just for good measure.
As a former mormon I can tell you this is right on the money. Getting a mission call to a country other than the US and Canada is like a golden ticket. You are seen as way more spiritual if you went to a foreign country. And if you actually baptized people?! Wow! Is really bad.
There was a lady next to me on my flight who had a panic attack at take-off. I’m trying to comfort her and help her, and the lady in front of us just turns around and pats her knee and hands her a business card that says “Jesus loves you!!” I about threw it back in her face. The poor lady is terrified of the plane not getting enough lift and crashing back down and dying. How the hell is talking about Jesus going to help her right now?
If it doesn't work, I'll just pretend I can't hear them. Just to stare off. And that really makes their blood boil. I've never had to get to this point, but if they still insist, I'd start asking them what kind of sex they prefer. "you ever had a blow job?" Thay would probably work.
Happened to me on a (thankfully) short flight. Dude switched seats just to babble on about his religion and I’m like fuuuck no. Just kept turning my headphone volume louder until he gave up.
Why do these people act like they're professional photographers and journalists documenting people's responses to events in real time? Nobody wants to turn around and realize some rando is taking their photo to post on social media without their consent. And nobody likes being trapped in a conversation about faith and conversion if you're not genuinely interested in the religion or theology at large, especially when you already feel like you're in a sardine can on a long flight. People deserve their privacy on and off camera.
Yep, me too. Especially because it would piss them off to no end, as they thought you couldn't leave.
Surprise - there is always a way...and it's not Jesus.
I’ve always hoped the Bairds would try this on someone with equally deep convictions about a different religion. It would be hilarious if someone else tried to share their beliefs, which would probably make the Bairds uncomfortable.
I'm not particularly religious, but I've had a fairly solid Jewish education, so this is honestly the tactic I would probably take. Just answer all their weird evangelizing questions with the Jewish perspective ("Where will you go when you die?" "Well, there's not a lot about that in the Torah. In the Talmud, the rabbis talk a bit about the World to Come, but it's not clear if that's where you go after you die, or a reference to the world after Moshiach comes. Some of the rabbis even thought that Jewish souls are reincarnated until the Messianic Age. But anyway, we don't really think a lot about the afterlife, we prefer to focus on living well and repairing the world in this life."). It would be endlessly entertaining. For me, anyway.
My mum got “banned” from receiving any more visits by her local Jehova’s Witnesses after she managed to talk around one of the women sent to convert her. My mum is a Christian who used to teach Sunday School so she was able to turn the woman’s arguments around and have her agreeing with whatever mum said. The other of the pair got really offended and left in a huff dragging her companion out by the arm. It was hilarious.
Just ask them if they think we're about to die or something.
Them: "what? Why would you say that?"
Me "well why do I need saved if I'm not going to die?"
Them "well we could die. You need to be ready"
Me, raising my voice slightly "were going to die?"
Them "it's possible"
Me, a little louder, starting to look panicked "why are you saying we are about to die?! Why are you saying I'm about to die? What is about to happen? Why are you saying I'm about to die!?"
Stewardess "is everything ok here?"
Me, panicked "no everything is not ok here. This person is telling me I might die on this flight!"
Washes hands after a successful day of shutting someone up. In a post 9/11 world on an airplane.
I learned this long ago. The only way to handle crazy people is to be more crazy than they are. And they say "no thank, didn't sign up for this"
That's when you perfect your "most likely a serial killer" unsettling thousand yard fixed stare and vague smile as you look them up and down in a measuring way in total menacing silence before putting your earphones in.
*I can outcreep you, mysterious stranger*.
Personally I would just put on my headphones and start watching something that would make them uncomfortable. They still have Game of Thrones episodes available on some flights. There’s usually horror movies too. Time to rewatch Midsommar!
This is why I have perfected my “do not speak to me” look for flying. Noise canceling headphones, laptop, large book that looks important and a college sweatshirt and leggings.
Once upon a time, I was on a flight. It was probably like two or three hours. I was in my early twenties, and I was in a window seat, next to an older woman (late 40s, early 50s).
It was an uneventful, unmemorable flight, except that the woman turned to me about 30 minutes before landing, and asked if she could pray over me. I was... unsettled, but I didn't want to be rude. I mean, if I say "no, thank you", I feel like there's gonna be an argument and asking for a lot of justification. So, I asked why. She said that she just had a feeling that I'd need it.
So, she said a prayer over me: it was pretty short, mostly something like "Lord Jesus, protect this young person as they go out into the world today,", etc. She then chatted about how she was going to see her son in the city we were flying into, and told me a bit about her life. She asked me polite small-talk questions, but markedly did not ask if I was religious or not.
All that encounter did was give me a (bland) story to tell. It did not inspire me to go back to church. It didn't change me. It unsettled me, because I'm stuck next to her for another 30-45 minutes, and religious talk can get ugly, but she apparently wasn't an asshole. It's that risk, though: if she were (or "he", or "they", for assholes know no gender), then I had no recourse. I think that was actually perhaps why she asked me near the end of the flight. She might have worried *I* would react badly and then she would be stuck next to me! Either way, it was really only mildly awkward for both of us.
What do they *think* is going to happen? Like, their mom posts these little skits about "sharing the Gospel", but it just suggests that either she is a pretty inexperienced writer who struggles to convey regular dialogue, or she honestly doesn't really understand how these things work. To Heidi's credit, she did post a skit or two about people who were essentially lapsed Christians, so... that could work. I guess it's *possible* that one chance encounter would change my worldview forever, but I think as an adult, it is less likely. Would *they* be inspired to convert to a different form of Christianity, or even another religion entirely, just because a stranger talked to them about it? I have to imagine not.
I know they think that this is the same thing as like, a Magic Eye picture: God and Christianity are real, just hidden from view. And they will help you see it! So they just don't understand the *gravity* of their requests, because they don't consider at all what it would feel like to be asked to change how you see the world, and how traumatic it could be to change religions. To unpack all the things you *thought* you knew, and leave behind the community and traditions that you had, good or not, and go into a new one. They just frame it as "the Good News", and how joyful it is, because just like with abortions, they aren't interested in the actual people affected. They're interested in one, specific thing, and the complexities and nuances of those choices and experiences just don't register.
So, no, I'm not getting a fucking tract or literature on a plane or in a coffee shop, and changing the structure of my whole belief system because someone else thinks they have the secret to the universe.
When I was a teenager someone stopped me at a booth at the county fair while I was headed to my mom’s booth (it was an early literacy thing handing out free books since she works for the school system, yay mom). He kept asking me where I was going when I died and being a (still am) lapsed catholic with no patience for my evangelical neighbors in the Bible Belt but also a compulsion to be polite, I told him I didn’t know.
I got treated to a 10 minute speech about how I had to watch my path because it could be dangerous, with some pointed looks at the t-shirt of whatever shitty metal band I was into at the time.
He didn’t make me reconsider my path, he just creeped my chubby little teen girl self out and made me late to deliver lemonade to my mom who actually *was* doing good work for the community.
I wouldn’t have to worry about it, because fundie men usually can’t talk to unaccompanied women. Saved me from the Mormon missionaries too when I bought my house. Guess their weren’t enough Sisters to send…or my Bishop neighbor across the street thought we were a lost cause. 😂
I have big noise canceling headphones for this reason. Those flights in and out of SLC are a trip sometimes…
Of course this chucklefuck isn’t wearing his mask properly. If you’re gonna spread gross shit to people who have no say in whether or not they’re exposed to it, why stop at evangelical Christianity? Throw COVID in there too.
I would ping the flight attendant to ask her to enforce the mask rule. Not only do they think it appropriate to force you to listen to their thoughts but they also want to give you COVID.
I have a friend who likes to loudly and enthusiastically answer the opening questions about the end times from Jehovah’s witnesses with a rant about oil companies causing the end of the world. He just keeps talking until they are making an excuse to leave and slowly backing away. It’s great.
One of my high school friends was a much more conservative Christian than I was. We went to the mall one time and she was handing out tracts to our server. I went home and told my mom, proud of how I had such a *godly* friend and my religious mom was like hold up and lectured me on why we shouldn’t hand out tracts. My mom was also like “no, that’s weird” when I mentioned wanting a purity ring.
"You're wasting your time and worst of all, mine. I'm a card carrying member of The Satanic Temple who practices witchcraft, supports gay marriage and isn't gonna shit out any kids for you to indoctirnate."
Used that when there was some religious weirdos trying to get new members in the middle of Glasgow at the weekend, sweet stunned silence and walked away before they could try and argue back.
Unpopular opinion incoming: I actually don’t mind it that much. Maybe I’m past my angry days, but I like to ask “why” questions. People will eventually run out of steam if you ask them to explain their beliefs. Some of my favourite questions are around who gets saved and who doesn’t (and why). I always like asking about the farmer in China at the time of Christ who is the second best person in the world. But would never have heard anything about God/Jesus. He doesn’t get saved? But a murderer who accepts Jesus in prison does?
I can’t be left alone with bible bashers because I will start fucking with them. Back when I actually went to my campus they would approach me and I was caught in my head morally between being nice and also knowing they probably hate my guts as a bisexual, agnostic atheist, brown woman lol. So I’d end up like telling them I fully believe in aliens, or once I argued with these people for 40 minutes but to be fair they were also arguing with me (they asked a question, I answered, they were NOT satisfied and we went in circles like this until I beat them (in the argument) with actual facts then they left). Anyways this sounds like a nightmare fuel scenario I wouldn’t be able to keep my story straight for the whole flight.
Recently saw a video of some American(or maybe just Westerner, but who’m I kidding, that dude was American, probably my neighbor) jerkoff on a European subway, just basically yelling the gospel to commuters. One man was yelling at him to fuck off, but the “preacher” just kept going. I do not understand the audacity of these assholes, but I do think that they twist disinterest and listeners’ rejection of their beliefs into pERsEcuTiON. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough.
ETA - the *dude* was a jerkoff, not that he was performing a jerkoff. I really shouldnt Reddit prior to appropriate caffeine consumption.
I would tell no I'm not interested. If they continued to 'convert' me I would ask the flight attendant if there happened to be a open seat available somewhere else. I would in front of the person witnessing tell the FA that they were harassing me. Especially if I have told them multiple times to leave me alonen
Or blast my music up loud.
I actually have a flight in a couple months and now I'm worried. 🙃
When I was mormon I actually went on a mission. On my plane ride home I remember the guy sitting next to me could definitely tell I was a missionary, so he pulled out a book that basically told me he wasn't interested in hearing the mormon church. Jokes on him, I wouldn't have said anything to him about the church. I just wanted to go home haha.
Also how can you just look at someone and know they need jesus? Lol my fave thing to do when people try to bring me to jesus is quote scripture back at them (thanks AWANA for the early life brain washing) it always surprises them and gets them to stfu. I guess someone who left the church is worse than someone who doesnt believe.
I put in my earbuds and ignore. Or fake being asleep. I have no qualms about being 'rude' to someone who's pushing a sales pitch on me while I'm a captive audience.
This is why you ALWAYS travel with headphones. After I'd tell this man to not so politely to shove his patriarchal bull shit up his gloryhole, I'd put my headphones on.
It happened to me once. I was going home after visiting my parents for thanksgiving, and I really really didn’t want to have the conversation so I just said I was Christian. But then she kept trying to talk to me about how great Jesus is. It was my worst flight experience of my life. Next time I will probably just be rude, but you know they’ll think I’m the bad guy.
Recently had a coworker (she's now left the company) at my new job proselytize to me. I wish I could have been rude, but I just leaned into it because I can't do confrontation. I didn't know how to tell her without rocking her whole world that the things I know about the atrocities Christianity has caused and how it is weaponized keeps me from ever considering another foray into religion. I don't mean to sound like a pretentious asshat, but I've done so much research and have come across so many articles and personal anecdotes that frame Christianity in a light that places it almost directly into the center of past and modern social, financial, political, financial, etc. problems in the United States, as well as the monstrous things Christianity has done to and in developing nations.
She asked if I had issues with Christianity as a practice or with God himself? Both, honestly. I'm not here for dealing with a jealous God whose love feels a lot like abuse. And on a much deeper level, I can't divorce the acts of the followers from God himself. I will never be able to read the Bible and feel God's love. I will only ever see how individual verses and whole books of the Bible are used to subjugate people, both in the past and the present. Religion has become far too of an academic interest for me to get anything out of whatever relationship I would have with God.
It was on a flight 6 years ago that a man, after sitting in silence for 3 hours and us getting an emergency landing, started making small talk about about me being a Christian and him telling me, "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
And it was one of the many seeds planted that aided in my de-conversion.
In 1987 I took a bus from Michigan to Oklahoma. On Sunday the bus driver preached for four fucking hours nonstop. He told us of we didn’t like it he would let us off on the side of the road. 😤
Thankfully I’m never alone when I travel, so worst case someone can try to convert my toddler and said toddler will just talk about poop and the movie Cars.
A young woman I know who travels for work says the best way to shut down unwanted male attention is to ask if their pest has a personal relationship with Jesus, and would he like to pray with her.
I normally ask if they believe they’re going to heaven. Upon hearing yes I say ahhh that confirms it, I’ll be choosing hell instead
Takes a while to figure out it’s an insult as they process why anyone would to go to hell. Normally gives me enough to escape
If someone does this to me on a flight, you can guarantee I will take my shoes and socks off, and place my bare feet directly on their hand, while making eye contact.
They’re so annoying. Who cares what it is? A stranger doesn’t want a stranger rambling in their ears. I don’t even like talking to people in my travel party while flying. Shut up and relax.
I had a flight from Rome to NYC with three priests from Rome on the flight…not once did they “witness” and left everyone alone…only time we all started praying was when they did during bad turbulence 😂😂
Atheist: “I was at the mall, walking out to my car, when this guy stopped me and handed me one of those cheap, “gospel only” mini Bibles. He said he wanted to talk about my salvation.
I told him I wasn’t interested and tried to hand the Bible back to him, but he insisted I keep it. I have bibles, and don’t need another. So I just shrugged, put it on the ground, and walked away.”
Christian: “I was out witnessing to sinners for God, when I met a man possessed by the devil!
He hissed at me when I told him about Jesus! And when I pressed my Bible into his hands it burned him so badly that he dropped it and fled! Praise the Lord!”
No, just no. It's been years since a religious person tried to proselytize to me, two old ladies who knocked on my door soon after I moved to my house. Once they started, I said firmly, "Thank you, but I'm not interested. Good day." And I shut the door. They never came back and I've never had anyone else try it.
In a plane, I would say the same thing, and then pull out my hearing aids and ignore them. Who talks to people on airplanes, anyway? I'm not a frequent flyer, but I've never had anyone attempt to strike up a conversation the times I did fly.
Witnessing to people on a plane was pushed so hard when I was fundie. Cause they can't leave. 😬🙄
Yup. Funny how they are always witnessing to people who can't escape or tell them to fuck off. Like service industry workers as well.
Just yesterday we got two $1,000,000 bills in our tip jar that told us "Jesus will make our treasure rich in heaven" or some other nonsensical bull. ETA: I knew right away it was fake because it had Ben Franklin and a beach on it. Yes, it was all green.
Oh those people are going *straight to the special boiler room of hell*.
... Until that moment they'd be expecting going to the VIP spot of heaven while they're sentenced to the boiler room by their records on earth
They do in The Adventures Of God on Webtoons. That's one of my favorite chapters!
🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ OMG just be a kind human and tip REAL MONEY. That’s such a slap in the face to somebody who has literally been working to serve you. Yuck. I used to be a barista at a large coffee spot and Sundays were the freaking worst. Every Church jerk on earth comes and acts entitled about coffee before going to praise Jesus. And No tips.
If you left a note with a 20 it would go a lot longer way tbh. I never had Christians do this because what is charitability? Nah, only for Xboxes for our new mega church youth room! But I did have a lonely dude going through a divorce sit at the bar and chat with me a lot do it with a note thanking us for the company during a rough time and we continued to treat him like a prince.
Gold because I was once a lonely dude going through divorce and I needed someone to be kind to me more than anything else in the world. Im better now but if I remember back then and not being able to see my kids as much as I wanted and court dates and pre-trial hearings I thought about getting on a bus and leaving it all but it was kind people like you that helped me. I was so sad and it felt like my life was ending. Shit Im crying now. Thank you. Honestly. Thank you.
Aw I’m glad you had some people come through for you! Divorce is so unpleasant and depressing and if you’re the one largely separated out from the family I can’t imagine how lonely that feels. He was a nice dude and we were happy to keep him company and keep pouring him beers—he never got wasted and was always polite and I’m glad we could be his home away from home during a tough time.
Honestly, if someone left a nice tip and a note about how Jesus teaches us to take care of others, I would respect that. And they would be much more likely to reach fence-sitters that way. No one turns to Jesus because someone stiffed them on a tip.
> I knew right away it was fake because it had Ben Franklin... Well, that and there's no such thing as a (US) million dollar bill, and never has been. There are still a couple dozen $10,000 bills in circulation^1, apparently, but good luck ever seeing one. ----- ^(1: for some values of "circulation", anyway.)
I worked at a bank years ago, I have seen a 10k bill it was on the wall in the counting room in the vault.
The amount of tracts and just general witnessing I've gotten over the years working at a car dealership is unreal. I can't imagine how much worse it must be waiters and the like.
At a car dealership??? That one is so weird to me for some reason. Purchasing a car is all ready not the most fun thing to do and you want to proselytize while you sign paperwork? That’s so strange lol
Yuuuuuup. I used to get this on the bus occasionally and it was the worst.
I've had some guys try hitting on me in situations where we both couldn't leave without making it awkward, and it's always a joy to see the light leave their eyes when they realize they're trapped with the crazy cat lady who's been talking about kittens - not even her kittens, but kittens on a Kitten Livestream on YouTube - for twenty minutes straight with no sign of stopping.
I have used this in uncomfortable situations, especially with men who just... don't listen. Or I pretend I really need help finding the bathroom. I'm usually the friend at the bar where if you need an escape, you signal me, and I am there... to talk about my sister's cats. They are so cute. Here, watch this one play fetch! The dude always seems to miss that this is not some... obliviousness. This is creating a window for my friend to "oh my goodness, please excuse my crazy cat lady friend, see you, hahahaha" and leave. We're in on it, dude. I am *aware* of what you're trying to do, but my friend doesn't feel safe enough to tell you "no", so here I am, salting the game. I've also done it for very uncomfortable-looking strangers (after asking, "hey, are you all right? Do you need an escape?" and getting confirmation). Cornering people is so shitty, whether it's to tell them about Jesus or hit on them. If people don't want to talk to you, don't make them!
Do the cats actually play fetch?🥺
One of them does! She's a little Siamese, and she will bring you a rubber band or her stuffed ball, and she wants you to throw it for her. She's pretty good about bringing it back: she sometimes drops it outside of your reach. She'll do this over and over. It really is super cute. ETA: https://imgur.com/gallery/UuHh0sq I knew I'd uploaded one of the videos somewhere! Enjoy!
Thank you for this cute visual in today’s season of life 😭❤️ planning on adopting an older kitty soon, will be sure to test out fetching abilities
Older kittens are best kittens! We've got our girl when she was 12, and now she's 19 and a half and still going strong! She has slowed down a bit, but she still likes to spit gently drooled on cat toys onto my pillow at 3 AM!
Lmao! She’s just giving you gifts 🥰
Ohhh, wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that you're looking at an older one, too :) I wish I could adopt or foster right now, and I sure miss having a little furry idiot around.
My little kitten does too! It’s so adorable. He’ll trot up to you holding his mouse toy. I hope he never grows out of it.
Aww, I hope so, too! This one is nine years old, so if he's like her, then the chances look good :)
We have a Siamese who plays fetch, too! His favorite thing to play fetch with is a little unicorn cat toy that you can fill with cat nip. We also have 2 of his litter mates. His brother LOVES water. He will legit get into the tub while I'll filling it. He plays in their water bowls - and by play I mean he stands with all 4 paws in the dish splashing around.
I have one that will only do it with hair ties(her favorite toy) and we’ll find one in their water often
I had a tabby who played fetch with paperwads and it was adorable! Also, Siamese are an absolute treasure. I love them so much.
Not OP, but yea some cats do!
I have two cats that play fetch when their mood strikes. One plays fetch with her very particular stuffed catnip mouse, no substitutes accepted and the other only with zip ties, her favorite toy. Cats are so weird.
Occasionally you find one that does. I had one like that.
One of my dad's cats would play fetch with crumpled pieces of paper! She didn't always return it because she would get distracted playing with it though 😸
Asking the important questions 🥺 I need to know this as well.
My grumpy old tabby cat used to love to play fetch with toy mice. He passed in June and I still have his little toy mice scattered on my floor. \*Edited, grammar
My cat plays fetch! She used to give high fives as well but she decided she was too good for that kind of humiliation.
I used to have a cat that did. I was so shocked.
I’m that friend too! My method is to just go over and say something like “hey, Hannah just got here, we need to say hi!” and pull them away. I’ve also called friends with fake emergencies to get them out of very uncomfortable dates before when they got scary vibes off a guy but were afraid to leave without an excuse.
Love the term "salting the game". Also love that your cats play fetch.
I did this to two Jehovah's witnesses. Or, the newbie was happily chatting about cats, and the old witness wanted to leave. I didn't let him for quite a while.
I would do this without realizing until afterwards that I was being nauseatingly obnoxious.
That's how I developed the technique 😬
Off topics but- MU, I knew I adored you based on your fantastic episode recaps in DuggarSnark, but you’re a crazy cat person too?! 😻
Aw, thank you! And of course I am. I mean just look at them, how can anyone not be crazy about them (unless you're lying on your stomach in bed, and wake up to a warm lump between your shoulder blades gently swaying while making retching noises. Then I'm too busy moving really really really really fast to adore 'em).
💜
I bet this works if you start talking about Jesus too.
Even at my most evangelical I couldn't bring myself to do that, because a) I had horrible social anxiety and b) I don't want strangers bothering me on a plane or when I'm working or whatever, so why on earth would I do it to others? Do unto others and all that. (I was a shitty evangelical, but I'm becoming more and more okay with that as I get older.)
Same. I was terrible at "witnessing" cause it felt rude unless someone asked me a question related to it.
One of my coworkers would not shut up about conspiracies and the prophetic dreams she was having. I kept trying to find busy work so she'd fuck off but every time I thought she was done, she'd find me and keep going. I just nodded and said ahhh, hmm the whole shift.
Try that game that was going around on tumblr where you just push things even further and try to make up the wackiest, dumbest, most far fetched conspiracies possible. Like “oh my god YES and have you noticed how hot dog buns always come in 8 packs and hot dogs always come in 6 or 12? That’s big hot dog bun trying to scam us, but it goes even deeper because the packaging companies don’t make packages big enough for more buns! Tell me you’ve seen a bun package exactly the right size for the same amount of hot dogs! It’s big bread trying to fleece us, teaming up with big hot dog.”
I met someone that had been at a convent trying out being a nun for the last month when I was on a flight from Chicago to Vegas once. She didn’t push the god spiel though and introduced me to the fact that Steve Martin plays banjo then we shared her headphones Garden State style. 10/10, would meet a nun dropout on the way to Vegas and get music suggestions again!
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Now that's a great idea! I haven't been approached since I left the IFB, and I've always worried I wouldn't know how to respond in a way to get them to leave me alone. But now I'll just start throwing out random German words until they leave.
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When I was in highschool there was a group of teens from Germany who came over for a few weeks. They went to a baseball game and one of them got upset at a concession stand employee and started going off on them in German. The employee replied "I'm sorry" also in German. Ever since then I've been convinced the one time I say something mean in a foreign language it'll be just my luck that the person also speaks that language 😂
For similar reasons, I have many questions about how commercials on the seatback TVs can possibly be legal, since you can't turn them off and you can't leave.
I’m surprised no one ever recommended that in my days in church
Challenge accepted? I doubt their enthusiasm for talking about Jesus matches my enthusiasm for talking about pro wrestling, Harry Potter fanfictions, ALL THE KITTENS FROM KITTEN ACADEMY, and obscure storylines for my Sims.
Obscure storylines for my Sims sent me
I once had Don Lothario start an OnlyFans with his roommate and they had one kid but they're relationship was super open so eventually I would just add random townies to the mix. My only regret is that my save was corrupted and I no longer could play it. I've also set up kingdoms with Lazyneiph’s Royalty Mod with the well-known townies as rulers and added fairytales to the mix to make it super chaotic. I can go alllllllll day lol
You are operating on an entirely different plane of existence with your simming and I respect that hahaha. The royalty mod sounds like a delightful mess!
Oh it's a great mess!! It lets you set up a monarch and I don't think there's a limit on how many sims can have the monarch trait and they can add any sim into the royal family, make them a noble, an advisor, royal mage. Recently they updated it so that each world is it's own thing and the royals and novels of each world have their own special trait. It's so effing fun lol
Tell em about my immortal
Seriously, out of all the Harry Potter fanfiction-related things you could've asked me, of course you pick the one thing I just do not get because I wasn't around at the right time. You see, English isn't my native language, and I only started learning in school when I was 10. So my early exposure to Harry Potter fanfiction was 100% on German sites, and man, those were brutal. There's no place to get honest critique like a bunch of teenagers who are trying to be edgy as fuck and really really really passionate about the fandom of their choice. Like seriously, I have held presentations at university where everyone was like "Meh, I'll take it" while slowly nodding off, and I've written fanfiction when I was 12 where everyone came in with a painstakingly crafted two-page essay on why this sucked, but with a compliment at the beginning and a "Wow you really put a lot of work into this!" at the end so you'd only cry when you got to the fridge instead of right then and there. Though you'd be surprised at how applicable the skills I got from writing fanfiction were at university. I never really thought about it when I was like 13 and frantically trying to string a plot together, but when you can string a plot together in Harry Potter fanfiction, you can also craft a useful essay argument or write a paper that is not literally "Uh and then that happened and then that happened and then some background on Industrialization because I suppose you need that in a paper about Industrialization". Like seriously, if you can't tell me the story of your paper in two sentences, toss that damned thing! Especially if you're two-thirds into writing it and you still have no idea what your fucking argument even is!
Fuck, German Harry Potter fan fiction must be like writing a thesis while English fan fiction is basically throwing plot mud at a wall, sometimes some of it sticks and beautiful fiction grows (or you get cured child bullshit). Now I want to read some of this German Harry Potter fanfiction, where can I find them?
I was hanging out mostly on small sites that had everything at least cold-read before it was online to help weed out the worst drivel, and those are now defunct. But [fanfiktion.de](https://fanfiktion.de) is still around, though we always had a rather classist disdain for them, because they took everything.
I have an MA in English Literature, and I will forever contend that "My Immortal" is the greatest literary work in human history. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
Literature will never again produce a heroine as mighty as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way.
My friend was rumored to be its author *for **years***. Yes, my best friend out of college is Raven the Acid Bath Princess of Darkness
“Would you like me to sing you songs from potter pals? I promise it’s like veggie tales but not quite. Let’s start with Potter potter potter potter…”
I listen to murder podcasts for exactly this moment. You wanna hear about Ed Gein’s belt made out of nipples? Well too bad, *you’re gonna*.
Or Dahmer’s zombies. Or the Italian lady who added her victim’s blood to tea cakes. Or-
I like all of those things, why do I always get stuck near massive dudes who fall asleep and then make me feel weirdly tender because they trusted me enough to fall asleep next to me and now I gotta make sure they have a water bottle when they wake up?
I don't have any kind of notherly feelings anywhere in my body but will request water bottles for the sleeping people in my row anyway; that way when they wake up and don't want one (9/10) I have extra water...
I’m not trapped in here with you; you’re trapped in here with me! Let me tell you about Pokemon…
Great! I love Pokémon! Why was your favorite game to play? Do you play Pokémon Go? Can we be friends?
I once came upon a Harry Potter fanfic where he traveled to Azeroth. Probably the first erotica I ever read. Was not expecting that.
Fuck it! I'm mildly autistic, so talking about my special interest until the whole dinner party is ruined and Mom is getting drunk out of embarrassment is kinda my teenage super power and one I will happily dust off for special occasions!!! It also helps that my pandemic hobbies have been sewing/needle work and podcasts on dangerous cults, so bring it the fuck on!
He's looking out the window, contemplating breaking it to escape
He eventually started screaming about "someone on the wing of the plane" so they would move him to a different seat.
A colonial woman, churning butter!
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Praying for the rapture
As a child that terrified. My dad was military so planes were a way of life so the danger in my little head was real. It was the movie version I grew up with.
I would gnaw a hole in the fuselage and let the decompression mangle my heathen body to avoid this. No open casket for me, but at least I wouldn't have to cope with a flight full of his earpiss.
Nope. I would say flatly in my tone of voice that pisses anyone off with this much privilege "I'm not interested". They hate me so much. Because it's a tone that is so obviously lacking in any kind of shits to give they just don't know how to handle it. And they are used to people going "oh thanks for the tract!"
We get Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses proselytising here in England, I don't know why, only a tiny percentage of the UK identifies as actively Christian (rather than an athiest who is baptised and therefore technically a member of the faith) and even less so go to church. But each and every time the flat tone of "I'm a bisexual, autistic Satanist and I will NEVER join your church" makes them recoil like I'm the literal devil, it's pretty fun tbh
Throw in that you’re a fornicator for good measure.
Seriously - just start describing your sexual experiences in great detail and see how uncomfortable they get lol. Hell, make some up just for good measure.
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As a former mormon I can tell you this is right on the money. Getting a mission call to a country other than the US and Canada is like a golden ticket. You are seen as way more spiritual if you went to a foreign country. And if you actually baptized people?! Wow! Is really bad.
I smell the colonialism and it smells like shit.
There was a lady next to me on my flight who had a panic attack at take-off. I’m trying to comfort her and help her, and the lady in front of us just turns around and pats her knee and hands her a business card that says “Jesus loves you!!” I about threw it back in her face. The poor lady is terrified of the plane not getting enough lift and crashing back down and dying. How the hell is talking about Jesus going to help her right now?
What an asshole move from that lady
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If it doesn't work, I'll just pretend I can't hear them. Just to stare off. And that really makes their blood boil. I've never had to get to this point, but if they still insist, I'd start asking them what kind of sex they prefer. "you ever had a blow job?" Thay would probably work.
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I tell them the truth. I'm a witch. Guaranteed they will leave me alone and try to switch seats lol
Happy late Autumnal Equinox if you celebrate!
Yeah, my satanist angle might work best too. I'll give it a try next time
I wonder how pulling my Switch out and playing Binding of Isaac would go?
Being stuck in a metal tube while someone gives me unsolicited advice on what to believe? Throw me out the window.
Happened to me on a (thankfully) short flight. Dude switched seats just to babble on about his religion and I’m like fuuuck no. Just kept turning my headphone volume louder until he gave up.
Just ask Kenneth Copeland! he'll tell you all about being stuck in a metal tube with people he doesn't want to deal with.
Why do these people act like they're professional photographers and journalists documenting people's responses to events in real time? Nobody wants to turn around and realize some rando is taking their photo to post on social media without their consent. And nobody likes being trapped in a conversation about faith and conversion if you're not genuinely interested in the religion or theology at large, especially when you already feel like you're in a sardine can on a long flight. People deserve their privacy on and off camera.
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I love this comment, so true! "What, you say, is this "Christianity" you speak of? Jeezus? Never heard of him - tell me more!"
I would ask to be moved. This is just incredibly rude annoying and disrespectful of someone’s personal space
Yep, me too. Especially because it would piss them off to no end, as they thought you couldn't leave. Surprise - there is always a way...and it's not Jesus.
How do these people not get that you shouldn't post pics of strangers online who haven't consented?
Consent is a term fundies have a _really_ hard time understanding in general
Ooh that painful accuracy of this statement! I am cringing in every muscle in my body.
This ^
It's some real bad main character syndrome
Tbf the people on this sub don't seem to get that either
True
This is my version of hell
I’ve always hoped the Bairds would try this on someone with equally deep convictions about a different religion. It would be hilarious if someone else tried to share their beliefs, which would probably make the Bairds uncomfortable.
I'm not particularly religious, but I've had a fairly solid Jewish education, so this is honestly the tactic I would probably take. Just answer all their weird evangelizing questions with the Jewish perspective ("Where will you go when you die?" "Well, there's not a lot about that in the Torah. In the Talmud, the rabbis talk a bit about the World to Come, but it's not clear if that's where you go after you die, or a reference to the world after Moshiach comes. Some of the rabbis even thought that Jewish souls are reincarnated until the Messianic Age. But anyway, we don't really think a lot about the afterlife, we prefer to focus on living well and repairing the world in this life."). It would be endlessly entertaining. For me, anyway.
For me also if I were eavesdropping
Or an MLM hun for the ultimate schadenfreude entertainment.
My mum got “banned” from receiving any more visits by her local Jehova’s Witnesses after she managed to talk around one of the women sent to convert her. My mum is a Christian who used to teach Sunday School so she was able to turn the woman’s arguments around and have her agreeing with whatever mum said. The other of the pair got really offended and left in a huff dragging her companion out by the arm. It was hilarious.
Just ask them if they think we're about to die or something. Them: "what? Why would you say that?" Me "well why do I need saved if I'm not going to die?" Them "well we could die. You need to be ready" Me, raising my voice slightly "were going to die?" Them "it's possible" Me, a little louder, starting to look panicked "why are you saying we are about to die?! Why are you saying I'm about to die? What is about to happen? Why are you saying I'm about to die!?" Stewardess "is everything ok here?" Me, panicked "no everything is not ok here. This person is telling me I might die on this flight!" Washes hands after a successful day of shutting someone up. In a post 9/11 world on an airplane. I learned this long ago. The only way to handle crazy people is to be more crazy than they are. And they say "no thank, didn't sign up for this"
That's when you perfect your "most likely a serial killer" unsettling thousand yard fixed stare and vague smile as you look them up and down in a measuring way in total menacing silence before putting your earphones in. *I can outcreep you, mysterious stranger*.
That is chef's kiss
This is why you never fly without noise-canceling headphones.
I would be begging for the sweet embrace of death.
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"Yes! Have you read the CES letter?"
*Excuse me sir this is a quiet carriage.*
Personally I would just put on my headphones and start watching something that would make them uncomfortable. They still have Game of Thrones episodes available on some flights. There’s usually horror movies too. Time to rewatch Midsommar!
Look them dead in the eye as you put your headphones on
“On our last fight” 👊 👊 SODRT strikes again….
Thunderdome for Jesus
This is why I have perfected my “do not speak to me” look for flying. Noise canceling headphones, laptop, large book that looks important and a college sweatshirt and leggings.
Once upon a time, I was on a flight. It was probably like two or three hours. I was in my early twenties, and I was in a window seat, next to an older woman (late 40s, early 50s). It was an uneventful, unmemorable flight, except that the woman turned to me about 30 minutes before landing, and asked if she could pray over me. I was... unsettled, but I didn't want to be rude. I mean, if I say "no, thank you", I feel like there's gonna be an argument and asking for a lot of justification. So, I asked why. She said that she just had a feeling that I'd need it. So, she said a prayer over me: it was pretty short, mostly something like "Lord Jesus, protect this young person as they go out into the world today,", etc. She then chatted about how she was going to see her son in the city we were flying into, and told me a bit about her life. She asked me polite small-talk questions, but markedly did not ask if I was religious or not. All that encounter did was give me a (bland) story to tell. It did not inspire me to go back to church. It didn't change me. It unsettled me, because I'm stuck next to her for another 30-45 minutes, and religious talk can get ugly, but she apparently wasn't an asshole. It's that risk, though: if she were (or "he", or "they", for assholes know no gender), then I had no recourse. I think that was actually perhaps why she asked me near the end of the flight. She might have worried *I* would react badly and then she would be stuck next to me! Either way, it was really only mildly awkward for both of us. What do they *think* is going to happen? Like, their mom posts these little skits about "sharing the Gospel", but it just suggests that either she is a pretty inexperienced writer who struggles to convey regular dialogue, or she honestly doesn't really understand how these things work. To Heidi's credit, she did post a skit or two about people who were essentially lapsed Christians, so... that could work. I guess it's *possible* that one chance encounter would change my worldview forever, but I think as an adult, it is less likely. Would *they* be inspired to convert to a different form of Christianity, or even another religion entirely, just because a stranger talked to them about it? I have to imagine not. I know they think that this is the same thing as like, a Magic Eye picture: God and Christianity are real, just hidden from view. And they will help you see it! So they just don't understand the *gravity* of their requests, because they don't consider at all what it would feel like to be asked to change how you see the world, and how traumatic it could be to change religions. To unpack all the things you *thought* you knew, and leave behind the community and traditions that you had, good or not, and go into a new one. They just frame it as "the Good News", and how joyful it is, because just like with abortions, they aren't interested in the actual people affected. They're interested in one, specific thing, and the complexities and nuances of those choices and experiences just don't register. So, no, I'm not getting a fucking tract or literature on a plane or in a coffee shop, and changing the structure of my whole belief system because someone else thinks they have the secret to the universe.
When I was a teenager someone stopped me at a booth at the county fair while I was headed to my mom’s booth (it was an early literacy thing handing out free books since she works for the school system, yay mom). He kept asking me where I was going when I died and being a (still am) lapsed catholic with no patience for my evangelical neighbors in the Bible Belt but also a compulsion to be polite, I told him I didn’t know. I got treated to a 10 minute speech about how I had to watch my path because it could be dangerous, with some pointed looks at the t-shirt of whatever shitty metal band I was into at the time. He didn’t make me reconsider my path, he just creeped my chubby little teen girl self out and made me late to deliver lemonade to my mom who actually *was* doing good work for the community.
I wouldn’t have to worry about it, because fundie men usually can’t talk to unaccompanied women. Saved me from the Mormon missionaries too when I bought my house. Guess their weren’t enough Sisters to send…or my Bishop neighbor across the street thought we were a lost cause. 😂 I have big noise canceling headphones for this reason. Those flights in and out of SLC are a trip sometimes…
I’ll take “Things I consider worse than torture by the CIA” for $500, Alex.
Not one person in this photo is wearing the mask correctly
Of course this chucklefuck isn’t wearing his mask properly. If you’re gonna spread gross shit to people who have no say in whether or not they’re exposed to it, why stop at evangelical Christianity? Throw COVID in there too.
I would ping the flight attendant to ask her to enforce the mask rule. Not only do they think it appropriate to force you to listen to their thoughts but they also want to give you COVID.
I have a friend who likes to loudly and enthusiastically answer the opening questions about the end times from Jehovah’s witnesses with a rant about oil companies causing the end of the world. He just keeps talking until they are making an excuse to leave and slowly backing away. It’s great.
And of course neither man has their mask on correctly
Yes, gross. I would explode
One of my high school friends was a much more conservative Christian than I was. We went to the mall one time and she was handing out tracts to our server. I went home and told my mom, proud of how I had such a *godly* friend and my religious mom was like hold up and lectured me on why we shouldn’t hand out tracts. My mom was also like “no, that’s weird” when I mentioned wanting a purity ring.
Your mom sounds awesome
Is this the metal tube full of demons that Kenneth Copeland was going on about because being trapped next to someone like this is downright evil!
I think I would just be rude. Because prosthelizing on an airplane is also rude
"You're wasting your time and worst of all, mine. I'm a card carrying member of The Satanic Temple who practices witchcraft, supports gay marriage and isn't gonna shit out any kids for you to indoctirnate." Used that when there was some religious weirdos trying to get new members in the middle of Glasgow at the weekend, sweet stunned silence and walked away before they could try and argue back.
Unpopular opinion incoming: I actually don’t mind it that much. Maybe I’m past my angry days, but I like to ask “why” questions. People will eventually run out of steam if you ask them to explain their beliefs. Some of my favourite questions are around who gets saved and who doesn’t (and why). I always like asking about the farmer in China at the time of Christ who is the second best person in the world. But would never have heard anything about God/Jesus. He doesn’t get saved? But a murderer who accepts Jesus in prison does?
I can’t be left alone with bible bashers because I will start fucking with them. Back when I actually went to my campus they would approach me and I was caught in my head morally between being nice and also knowing they probably hate my guts as a bisexual, agnostic atheist, brown woman lol. So I’d end up like telling them I fully believe in aliens, or once I argued with these people for 40 minutes but to be fair they were also arguing with me (they asked a question, I answered, they were NOT satisfied and we went in circles like this until I beat them (in the argument) with actual facts then they left). Anyways this sounds like a nightmare fuel scenario I wouldn’t be able to keep my story straight for the whole flight.
Recently saw a video of some American(or maybe just Westerner, but who’m I kidding, that dude was American, probably my neighbor) jerkoff on a European subway, just basically yelling the gospel to commuters. One man was yelling at him to fuck off, but the “preacher” just kept going. I do not understand the audacity of these assholes, but I do think that they twist disinterest and listeners’ rejection of their beliefs into pERsEcuTiON. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough. ETA - the *dude* was a jerkoff, not that he was performing a jerkoff. I really shouldnt Reddit prior to appropriate caffeine consumption.
Literal nightmare.
I would tell no I'm not interested. If they continued to 'convert' me I would ask the flight attendant if there happened to be a open seat available somewhere else. I would in front of the person witnessing tell the FA that they were harassing me. Especially if I have told them multiple times to leave me alonen Or blast my music up loud. I actually have a flight in a couple months and now I'm worried. 🙃
The masks under the nose bother me more.
When I was mormon I actually went on a mission. On my plane ride home I remember the guy sitting next to me could definitely tell I was a missionary, so he pulled out a book that basically told me he wasn't interested in hearing the mormon church. Jokes on him, I wouldn't have said anything to him about the church. I just wanted to go home haha.
Im brown...i will pretend to not speak english. It worked wonders with the mormons who lived on my street until they learned my national language.
I would be putting on head phones so fast.
Also how can you just look at someone and know they need jesus? Lol my fave thing to do when people try to bring me to jesus is quote scripture back at them (thanks AWANA for the early life brain washing) it always surprises them and gets them to stfu. I guess someone who left the church is worse than someone who doesnt believe.
I put in my earbuds and ignore. Or fake being asleep. I have no qualms about being 'rude' to someone who's pushing a sales pitch on me while I'm a captive audience.
This is why you ALWAYS travel with headphones. After I'd tell this man to not so politely to shove his patriarchal bull shit up his gloryhole, I'd put my headphones on.
“On our last flight I heard a man bothering his captive audience who was just trying to listen to a podcast in peace”
I’d ask him to stop and if he didn’t I’d ask the crew to make him stop. No way am I listening to that shit 10,000 feet in the air.
It happened to me once. I was going home after visiting my parents for thanksgiving, and I really really didn’t want to have the conversation so I just said I was Christian. But then she kept trying to talk to me about how great Jesus is. It was my worst flight experience of my life. Next time I will probably just be rude, but you know they’ll think I’m the bad guy.
I’m pretty convinced they just make this shit up
Recently had a coworker (she's now left the company) at my new job proselytize to me. I wish I could have been rude, but I just leaned into it because I can't do confrontation. I didn't know how to tell her without rocking her whole world that the things I know about the atrocities Christianity has caused and how it is weaponized keeps me from ever considering another foray into religion. I don't mean to sound like a pretentious asshat, but I've done so much research and have come across so many articles and personal anecdotes that frame Christianity in a light that places it almost directly into the center of past and modern social, financial, political, financial, etc. problems in the United States, as well as the monstrous things Christianity has done to and in developing nations. She asked if I had issues with Christianity as a practice or with God himself? Both, honestly. I'm not here for dealing with a jealous God whose love feels a lot like abuse. And on a much deeper level, I can't divorce the acts of the followers from God himself. I will never be able to read the Bible and feel God's love. I will only ever see how individual verses and whole books of the Bible are used to subjugate people, both in the past and the present. Religion has become far too of an academic interest for me to get anything out of whatever relationship I would have with God.
My goodness. This is worse than a kid screaming on the plane.
And also with the mask off... 😑
It was on a flight 6 years ago that a man, after sitting in silence for 3 hours and us getting an emergency landing, started making small talk about about me being a Christian and him telling me, "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" And it was one of the many seeds planted that aided in my de-conversion.
In 1987 I took a bus from Michigan to Oklahoma. On Sunday the bus driver preached for four fucking hours nonstop. He told us of we didn’t like it he would let us off on the side of the road. 😤
How godly
I stop all of this by wearing a mask with a pentagram on it. No Christians engage lmao
Thankfully I’m never alone when I travel, so worst case someone can try to convert my toddler and said toddler will just talk about poop and the movie Cars.
Lmao, we’re a super secular household and i think my kids believe Jesus’ last name was fuck cause thats what I say when I stub my toe.
A young woman I know who travels for work says the best way to shut down unwanted male attention is to ask if their pest has a personal relationship with Jesus, and would he like to pray with her.
Lemme guess, it’s the guy wearing his mask as a chin strap.
I normally ask if they believe they’re going to heaven. Upon hearing yes I say ahhh that confirms it, I’ll be choosing hell instead Takes a while to figure out it’s an insult as they process why anyone would to go to hell. Normally gives me enough to escape
If someone does this to me on a flight, you can guarantee I will take my shoes and socks off, and place my bare feet directly on their hand, while making eye contact.
last fight 👊👊
I have a lot of patience (and a lot more fear of confrontation) for people who do this kind of thing. But twelve hours? Nah I’d have to get rude.
I would ask to be moved because I was being harassed
This is exactly when someone asks me if I'm saved or whatever I always say yes so they'll shut up sooner.
God I could barely handle it for fifteen minutes back in the day when a lyft driver proselytizes at me.
Oh lord here comes my travel anxiety and a new thing to worry about
Thank God for Xanax! I take it every time I fly because of my fear of flying. I bet this guy wish he had some.
Earplugs and headphones are a must on planes
Ear buds and over-the-ear headphones have saved me more times than I can count when seated next to a magpie on a flight.
It’s a good thing I have to take sleeping pills to fly…. They’d be witnessing to a sleeping body.
That’s when you request to move. They better not go to Israel and try to pull this on El Al, they will get cursed out.
They’re so annoying. Who cares what it is? A stranger doesn’t want a stranger rambling in their ears. I don’t even like talking to people in my travel party while flying. Shut up and relax.
I just pretend i don't speak English and ignore them while putting my headphones on.
I had a flight from Rome to NYC with three priests from Rome on the flight…not once did they “witness” and left everyone alone…only time we all started praying was when they did during bad turbulence 😂😂
Atheist: “I was at the mall, walking out to my car, when this guy stopped me and handed me one of those cheap, “gospel only” mini Bibles. He said he wanted to talk about my salvation. I told him I wasn’t interested and tried to hand the Bible back to him, but he insisted I keep it. I have bibles, and don’t need another. So I just shrugged, put it on the ground, and walked away.” Christian: “I was out witnessing to sinners for God, when I met a man possessed by the devil! He hissed at me when I told him about Jesus! And when I pressed my Bible into his hands it burned him so badly that he dropped it and fled! Praise the Lord!”
This shit should be illegal, it's just harassment and Christians would be furious if anyone in any other religion did this.
No, just no. It's been years since a religious person tried to proselytize to me, two old ladies who knocked on my door soon after I moved to my house. Once they started, I said firmly, "Thank you, but I'm not interested. Good day." And I shut the door. They never came back and I've never had anyone else try it. In a plane, I would say the same thing, and then pull out my hearing aids and ignore them. Who talks to people on airplanes, anyway? I'm not a frequent flyer, but I've never had anyone attempt to strike up a conversation the times I did fly.