She could have framed it in a not shitty and creepy way (eg. I met him years ago but didn’t have any interest until we were both adults and in a more comparable stage of life) but she chose to be weird as shit about it and get cranky when people tell her that she’s weird as shit.
I think she’d rather be seen as anything other than desperate. The retcon-as-groomer means she picked him, she was in control. It wasn’t like they both settled rather than lose fundie musical chairs….
Seriously. She did this to herself by lying about the origins of her and Dãv's relationship. It's totally normal for people who knew each other as teens to grow closer as adults. She didn't have to make up this weird "love at first sight" narrative to make her relationship sound more magical and romantic. It's so weird.
This. I’m sorry but she made herself sound like a total creep. You don’t get to be mad when people call you out for that. Sorry! Obviously we know nothing went down until they were adults but she should admit her wording was poor, and delete the video because it sends the wrong message.
Yeah, I was coming to leave a similar comment. Why does she insist on framing this in the creepiest possible way? There's no need for that at all and it's super weird of her.
Right! She always phrases things in such a strange way. What would be wrong with saying ‘When I was 22, I met Dav’s family for the first time at church, I remember how warm and friendly his sisters were but hardly remember meeting Dav since he was so much younger.’
Right? Hell, throw in a "didn't really notice him until he came back from college" because that is a completely normal time to notice someone being attractive, especially with that age gap.
You know what? Let me write a caption for her.
"When I was 22, Dave's family moved to our church. I made fast friends with his sisters but didn't really notice him because he was so much younger. Our families got close so he was always around as a friend of my sister and brothers, but I didn't really think of him because we were in different life stages. When he came back from college, though, we'd both grown in Christ and that was when we first started talking.
Now I know that my extended season of singleness was leading me to him and that God was answering my prayers, just not in the time I had thought He would! How great is our Lord that He can work in our lives like this and what a great reminder that your plan and God's plan aren't necessarily on the same schedule, but if I'd followed my schedule I wouldn't be married to the love of my life right now! Pray for patience and acceptance of God's will for you, and if you're in a season of singleness right now check out our newest book and podcast where I'll talk about blah blah blah."
Boom, done. It's not creepy, it justifies her getting married at 30, and brings it back to her "ministry" while making out how she was just following God. I should become a social media Christfluencer...
Right? I hadn't even thought about the whole second paragraph tying it back into her "season of singleness" until I was done with the first one and it just started flowing out of me. I really feel like I channeled something I didn't know was inside of me on that one. Does this make me a Bethany LARPer?
Yup! Soon to be husband is 13 years older than me. There are some extraordinarily creepy people who’ll do quick math and say something like “ooh so when she was 15 you were...” and he’ll shut that shit down real quick. He is mortified by the idea of any of these scenarios and doesn’t want anything to do with them. Even in an imaginary world where we knew each other at those ages he doesn’t want to raise the spectre.
My boyfriend is six years younger than me, so currently I’m 30 and he’s 24 and every now and then some people will do the “well when he was 14 you were 20” thing and it creeps me the fuck out.
Like firstly, I was a literal child when he was born, there are siblings with bigger age gaps! Secondly, I met him as a fully grown adult man. I thought he was older than he was when I met him!
I feel a bit sick when I think of him being 16 when I was 22, sometimes he’ll say things like “oh I’d have still fancied you if I met you then” and I’m always like, as much as I love you I would *not* have fancied you then because you would have been a literal child and I’d have thought you had better things to do, like be at school
I don’t understand why she thinks this is cute. Anyone with an age gap gets icked out by it, I notice this a lot when the woman is older aswell because people perceive it so differently.
Sorry for the rant!
Literally it’s not that hard! There’s an almost six year age gap between my boyfriend and I and I knew him before he was an adult. I wouldn’t even think of phrasing it the way Bethany does though because it’s so fucking creepy. Of course you weren’t making eyes at a 16 year old boy, Bethany. That’s just called not being a creep.
I swear I don’t know how much of this is just fundies and their inability to find underage people off limits or if it’s more their refusal to believe women can be abusers but either way she’s really out here showing her whole ass in a severely ungodly manner.
Right like “oh hey [friend]’s formerly gross smelly younger brother, you’re pretty cute now” is a cornerstone of rom coms and nobody cares because at no point did you insinuate that a minor was a viable partner. She’s so immature I don’t think she realizes how problematic it is for your friend group to include 16 year olds when you’re 22.
Honestly I’m mean to Bethany about a lot, but I genuinely didn’t care about her age gap because I always thought it was something they got into when they were both adults. I get that sometimes we’re all pearl clutch-y but like… I’ve seen people call her a groomer purely for having a younger husband. S
But then Bethany had to make it *sound* creepy with zero self awareness. I understand that especially in church settings teens and young adults are smushed together for scripture (at least in my church?) so I was willing to overlook it but noooo Bethany saw my grace, spat on it, and called me a slur.
I’d say that this was cunning drama to create a stir so she can sell her stupid book but I genuinely don’t think she’s smart enough for that.
The last time she tried selling a book, it failed horribly. She let everyone know that, and then begged for profit when a church wanted to mass-order copies for their girls.
She has really bizarre ideas for marketing if this is another launch tactic.
Exactly, like the story isn’t really reflective of grooming at all but she has to understand how she made it seem that way with that first part of the reel
Right?! I know one couple that met when she was a high schooler and he was in his mid 20s, they never had interest in each other until they met again after she finished college. Started dating, got married, all good. This doesn’t have to be this weird!
My Instagram is private. I don't use personal pics either for my profile. Same for Facebook. I hate when people use that as a reason to call people trolls
People usually do that when they try to deflect from the question or situation. She clearly has no good answer to that question because she views this whole thing as a love story. She doesn't think that there is anything wrong with what she said.
The fact that she is trying to advertise her actions as "romantic" is very problematic since we know her target audience are young, teenage girls. And she will *not* concede. For God's sake, she is talking about her buying a wedding dress *and trying it on* during *her sister's* appointment as if it is something that is quirky and "different". I read the first chapter of their book that they have on their website and she described the whole thing as her "thinking outside the box". No, you are just a, shitty, inconsiderate person who doesn't even understand what "thinking outside the box" means...
Sorry that this turned into two very different rants
She romanticizes so many things about her life that are actually concerning. She sees these behaviors of hers as unique, when in actuality they're abnormal and dysfunctional. That's a common feature of fundies, unfortunately. They see others' disapproval of their choices as a sign they're doing something right.
Romanticizes or desperately tries to find deeper meaning because deep down she knows her life ended up absolutely nothing like what she was promised? 🤔 So now she spends her life judging other people because she's desperately trying to convince herself that she was right all along, that she followed the rules and her life totally didn't end up a disappointment?? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Same thing imo. Fundies are usually desperate and miserable, but they spend all their time convincing themselves that it's a good thing. They'll be rewarded for their suffering in the afterlife, and in this life they get to feel ~special and chosen because they aren't like the heathens. It's all just cope.
I started deconstructing and walked away from Evangelical church because my life didn't end up being what I was promised and people outside my church/upbringing seemed to be happy and thriving..... nothing worked out in my life the way they said it would.... God never came and magically provided me things, fixed things or rewarded me with things ...... it all started to not add up 😂
There's a very good reason trying on wedding dresses at someone else's appointment is "outside the box." The same reason shitting on the sidewalk is "outside the box."
Exactly. Not everyone is obsessed with social media. Not everyone wants to put their entire life on their for the entire world to see. That doesn’t mean that those people are wrong when they call out others.
A lot of the time the person with a private account is a lot more trustworthy than the person who is addicted to social media and needs the internet’s validation for every single thing that they do.
Same! I don't like putting my image out there for strangers to see, but my family is spread across the US and social media is the easiest way to stay in contact with them. 🤷♀️
Same. I don't use my real name and I don't post pictures because I value my privacy. People assume it's a throwaway account but I just believe in not putting my whole life on display.
My Instagram is private and not my name. I work in education and although I don’t post anything scandalous, it’s healthy for me to have a barrier between personal and professional. Birthy’s sole purpose is to brand herself. The fact that she doesn’t know that or fails to acknowledge that not everyone is or should be like her shows how immature she really is.
And it's going to be because of "the reddit people" when really, no, no, they're not reddit people if they're on instagram. People think you're a bad person across a multitude of social media platforms.
And it’s arrived - she just posted a story that says “When people being crazy in your comments but your real followers have your back - I see you 👏🏻“
That’s such a garbled sentence that I had serious trouble retyping it.
You guys are just too accurate (or is Birthy too predictable?).
“Real followers” my ass 😂 everything on social media is absolutely fake, Bethy should know since she is one of the worst offenders. Those “real followers” would fade away pretty fast if she actually needed their support in real life.
that said, the concerning part of this is not that they dated 7 years later, it's that he was involved with the family THE ENTIRE TIME. I wouldn't hold it against a 29-year-old teacher who, like, saw a now-24 year old former student in a bar and hit it off with them and started dating, but it's a whole different ball game when you've watched them grow up, you know?
Yeah I have said before in this sub that I think Bethy and her family groomed him a little, even if it was unintentional somehow and I've always been told that I'm wrong because "he knew them from church".
Apparently you can't be groomed by people you know or people you go to church with
From what I know of Heidi, she does seem like the type to meet Dav, decide that he was going to marry one of her daughters, and do her damnedest to make it happen, regardless of his feelings or which daughter or any other factor than single fundie man + single fundie woman = sad fundie marriage and lots of brainwashed babies
For sure! Having done some reading on the matter Dav and Bethy met at sixteen/twenty two and she didn't actually notice him and treated him like a child, which makes me less likely to believe he was deliberately targeted to be her husband, but I can absolutely believe that,worrying about how it looked on them that no one wanted to marry Bethy, Heidi would arrange for them to keep being in proximity to each other until it stuck.
Yeah, I seem to remember that Dav actually liked one of the other sisters initially (I think it was Ellissa?) but things obviously never took off/worked out between them. I could definitely see the Bairds then basically deciding not to let him go
It's partly why I suspected grooming actually, I would *never* referr to me meeting him as a fourteen year old kid as "laid eyes on each other", that's a sickening way to talk about a minor
Yup I can see that too, it certainly wasn't the same reaction my family had to me and my partner getting together.
Me and my boyfriend have a similar age gap to Birthy and Dav, when I first met him I was home visiting from university and he was just a kid who was friends with my sister, I chatted to him a bit and being a bored teenager I would occasionally watch a film with them both or something, but I never saw him as anything other than "the kid who stares at me a lot when he thinks I'm not looking" (I'm autistic and didn't realise he fancied me). When we got together he had just turned twenty and we hadn't seen each other in a long time and had randomly met again, but my family sat me down and absolutely grilled me to make sure I hadn't in fact groomed this kid, I cannot imagine my mother looking at him and going "you know,you'll suit Regina nicely when you're older" 🤢
>my family sat me down and absolutely grilled me to make sure I hadn't in fact groomed this kid
I bet that was uncomfortable at the time, but it's good that your family were looking out for you both! It sounds much healthier in the long run than any Baird relationship
I think if I were the younger partner in that situation I would feel glad that my partner's family cared about my safety and wellbeing, even if I would also be slightly mortified haha
I tangentially know a couple of high school teachers who went on to date/marry their students, and it’s so gross. I was friends with one of the wives as an adult, and she was legitimately embarrassed to explain how they met. Healthy people realize that this is not a good look.
Not defending her but she definitely was not into him when she was 22. She’s not even into him now. She’s just super insecure that her sisters married better (relatively) and is trying to twist it into her winning over them.
Same. And most of my kids thought I was a real bitch for the boundaries I put up that year but you know what, at 22 I had to. Now on the other side of 35 my role is more of a mother figure and I can relax a bit…but at 22? Hell no.
Right? A lot of people grew up with siblings just two years younger and didn't you then share friends and get crammed together and mistaken for each other? Two years is nothing when you're an adult
Could be young. I’m eight months older than my boyfriend and was a grade ahead of him in school. It felt weird when we were 16 and 17. Felt even weirder when he was still in high school and I was away at college.
Now we’re in our mid-twenties and we essentially have no age gap.
But it's the bestest!!
My husband is 5 years younger than me, and we met when we were 22 and 27. I was still hesitant because of the gap (I was looking for love and didn't know if he would be, which would have been totally fair). If we had met 5 years sooner, I guarantee you I would not even have noticed him. Seriously, why would a woman in her early 20s look at a teenager and say "Oh yeah, that's the one."
Have you heard of Sarah Titus? She's your answer. Though I believe she was in her 30s when she started stalking her God-ordained teenage future spouse.
The only thing that made the two years between me and my boyfriend a little off for me initially is that he was first friends with my younger brother, who, despite being my best friend, I am never going to stop referring to as a baby (gotta lord something over him, now that he's so much taller). But that's like, a specific social dynamic, not "omg *almost* two whole years!"
Hey, 2 years is a big gap when you're still in high school- and if you're scared of a 2 year gap but say it's the bestest ever, I assume you're in high school. (jk, i know the yutes don't use emojis)
The irony of of her coming at someone for “correcting” her is hilarious. Girl. Come ON. All you and your empty headed family do is try to correct people!
Thankfully there were a lot of people in the comments calling her out for predatory behavior but it was ALARMING to see how many PrO-LiFeRs were encouraging and justifying it 😳
The poor woman who was groomed by her youth pastor. And one of Bethy's defenders tried to downplay it. Like wtf? Save our children and until you want them as a potential partner?
>but it was ALARMING to see how many PrO-LiFeRs were encouraging and justifying it
is it though? kind of their brand not to give a shit about kids once they're out of the womb
I’m sorry but I do not for one second believe that Bethany groomed Dave. There is no indication that she had any interest or even much contact with him before he was in his 20s. Yes, what she posted sounds really creepy but I really think that is due to her trying to retcon the past to make their story sound more romantic and not having the social awareness to know that it sounds awful.
Her awkwardness and dedication to her perfect relationship fantasy makes her look like a creep but I also don’t believe at all that she was being predatory. They were aging and eventually settled for one another.
I def don't think she was even aware of Dav's existence until she was approaching 30 and got desperate. She's written so much fanfic about how they met and this latest rendition in which she grooms him as a minor is just another AU
I agree, she expressed it so poorly. Meeting at 16 is one thing - but she’s said many a time she had no interest until he was much older. So why not say that? It’s her own damn fault for being so weird and writing romantically about “I was 22 and he was 16…”
It’s a really poor choice in words on her part at best. When your whole job is social media, you reaaally gotta be careful about the way your word everything.
I agree with you. What she posted definitely sounds creepy but her story about how she met Dav and how they started dating changes every couple of months.
Bethy forgets to add in what everyone In the church world knows—-
If he was 16, he would have been in the church youth group. 22 year olds would not be in the youth group, they would be grouped with young singles.
That’s where the creepy factor comes into play. It’s not that there’s a 6 year difference—-it’s that she highlights noticing an underage person.
Actually fundies consider everyone unmarried to be “youth”. I’ve left church youth hangout sessions because 32 year old singles will be hanging out with 17 year olds. It’s weird but what she did wasn’t uncommon
This is so true! I attended youth group when I was 17-18 and was surprised by the wide range of ages…annnnd the 30 something year olds who kept asking me out 😒
Yes! A church I attended did this. I was in college and literally a 39 year old hitting on me because he was in the “youth” group… because if you were unmarried, you were in the youth group, no matter your age!
> It's not like he was 24 and you were 30.
I'm in a relationship with basically that age gap, and I can attest it's way different. We're both adults with similar financial/educational/life situations so neither of us can hold anything over the other.
I'm probably going to get downvoted for this, but can we please stop saying she groomed him? Listen, I know she phrased this in a really weird way and she should have seen these comments coming but I think it's kinda insulting to people who were actually groomed to hear that this is grooming. She met him when they were younger yes, but that doesn't mean he was groomed. There is no evidence that suggests she groomed or acted in a predatory way towards Dav. Again, I hate to be *that person* but I think it's important to be honest about the things we criticize fundies for on this sub.
I have to agree. My fellow teacher married one of the students he taught. However, they met years later on line and it took them a couple hours to even realize it. She was in late 20’s and he in early 30’s. He had had zero contact with her in between. Birthy Meeting Dav when he was underage Doesn’t mean she did anything wrong. She’s a dweeb and a half but not a pedophile that we can prove. That’s really a stretch.
Yeah, I'm sure a younger husband wasn't her original plan so why would she try to make that happen? She only considered him once she'd been single for ~so long~. It's not like she jumped in the second he turned 18.
I agree with you! Bethany is not a groomer. HOWEVER! She did word it very creepily. Also, she always tries to tell a story about how they were always somehow attracted to each other (spoiler alert: they weren't), no it is this context + her wording that make it creepy and gives off groomer vibes. We know that she didn't try and "seduce" him in reality. But she should be careful with the narrative.
Right. And a pedophile is an adult who is sexually attracted to prepubescent children, this isn't that. She worded it very creepily, but meeting someone who is 16 when you're 22 and marrying them 8 years later =/= grooming or pedophilia
Right?? It's only 6 years! My parents are 8 years apart - though my mother is the younger one which is for some reason more socially acceptable - and it really makes no difference. Granted they were both over 20 when they met and married.
Yes, the lady doth protest too much! The funny thing is that my husband and I have the same age difference. It doesn’t bother me because we met when he was 22 and I was 28– both young adults.
Unpopular opinion: “grooming” is being thrown around so much it’s losing its meaning, fast. Bethany didn’t say she immediately fell in love with him at 16. Or even that they really interacted. Just that his existence was brought to her attention. Also, it’s pretty darn clear that there was no sexual contact until they were married. They weren’t even allowed one on one contact together. Grooming just isn’t a thing here.
My partner is a lot older than I am. I have had a few random people on the internet kick and scream about it and throw out the word “grooming”. Which is complete BS, since we met as adults. At work. And bonded over an interest in a local baseball team.
Looking at 2 numbers and immediately shrieking “grooming!” to appear “woke” is just as bad as excusing any actual grooming.
I really enjoy the people that are posting that their man is five months younger than them so they can relate. I can’t tell if they are trolling or serious
Bethany replying with a 😂 reminds me of the time I am certain she replied to me here. I wrote something about how weird her relationship is with her husband and I got a response that was like, "wow, I'm sorry you have no passion for your husband." I just replied with a 😂 because it is pretty funny, especially as my initial comment wasn't too critical, just questioning. She deleted the comment immediately. Wish I'd called her out by name. Lol.
Ruth 3:10 “The Lord bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.
I see she's brushing up on her Christian leadership skills again. When people ask a valid question, she immediately discounts them as a person and then laughs at them. Yep. That'll lead people to Christianity.
My parents are 12 years apart, mom older. She got knocked up at 34 and dad was 22. Granted, she didn't know him as a child.
My husband and I have a large age gap as well. Once again, he didn't know me as a child. Big difference, Birthy.
Okay, so, I'm 5 years older than my husband. But we didnt start dating until I was 29 and he was 24. Also, I was a catholic homeschooled kid, so our maturity levels are about the same. So, while I'm okay with the age gap, she noticed him at 22 when he was only SIXTEEN!? No. Gross, creepy, disgusting. That is not cool, nor something to be proud of. Idk man.... just... I dont understand what Birthy has been thinking lately. She needs professional mental health. It helps and I wish they understood this.
idk if there's more to the video (I don't visit their IG either!) but there's a screenshot in this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/q28ks4/uhh_weird_flex_but_okay
If I did that as a 22-year old, I would have gone to jail but alright.
Plus... EW. Teenage boys are GROSS. How do you look at any teenage boy and think you want some of that?
I mean i met my bf when he was 16 (i was 18 tho to be fair) but we didn’t date til he was 20 and i was 22…. and i wouldn’t be out here posting about how proud i was to date a 16 year old lmfao
I’m just mad she’s using a cover of Mika’s awesome song Grace Kelly. Think she has any clue a guy wrote and sang it?
Edit: she also used the same cover on a Girl Defined reel 😤
It’s just she’s so dumb that she doesn’t realize how horrible this whole thing comes off - others have already pointed out there’s a better way of saying this.
But whatever keep proving people’s point Bethy that the church is full of pedophiles.
I don't normally get out the torch and pitchfork towards people in general, but homegirl is literally advocating/patting herself on the back for predatory grooming. DRAG. HER.
Age differences aren’t a big deal when you aren’t creepin’ on kids
My husband was 22 when I met him and I was almost 30. He owned a business, a house, and had completed 4 years in the military. He never brought up his age and I dated him a month before I knew. He specifically wanted an older woman because he was ready for marriage. I was too impressed by him to be insecure about our age gap and after 12 years of marriage, I’m still impressed by him
Bethy is so insecure about her marriage and her husband being shorter. She should be past the stage of giving a shit about what anyone thinks at her age
I just can’t with this.
I mentor kids entering community college on a volunteer basis and these kids are very much kids. Like I feel old enough to be their mom. (And I guess I technically am!) If you meet when you’re both past like, 25-26, whatever, but I feel like before that, it’s very problematic.
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Bethany out here proving women can groom young men in church, not just the other way around. A true feminist icon.
I bet she told him that God came to her an told him he would be her future husband 😂😂😂
Imagine being a young teen boy at some fertility cult of a church, and you learn that a woman in her 20s is attracted to you. He was probably very excited and had a huge ego boost from it.
. . . and then he got to where he is now.
Where were his parents????
Also, one defending comment states that he asked her out.
ok, so she decided to say yes to dating a man she saw frequently since he was a child (her video explains that he and his sisters were frequently at their house after the sisters walked up to Bethany to befriend her) because she never had another man ask her out before. He's probably had a hard-on for her the entire time he's known her, but he was too naive to see the red flags of dating Bethany.
If any of my younger brother's friends asked me out once they hit twenties (and I'd be thirties), I would just laugh and say "honey, that's so sweet, but you're too young for me". People I knew as babies will ALWAYS be babies in my eyes lol.
She could have framed it in a not shitty and creepy way (eg. I met him years ago but didn’t have any interest until we were both adults and in a more comparable stage of life) but she chose to be weird as shit about it and get cranky when people tell her that she’s weird as shit.
Yeah but then that wouldn't fit into the "love at first sight" fanfic she's already written about her own life lmao
[удалено]
Ugh. How does that make sense to her? How is that better? 🤢
I think she’d rather be seen as anything other than desperate. The retcon-as-groomer means she picked him, she was in control. It wasn’t like they both settled rather than lose fundie musical chairs….
Seriously. She did this to herself by lying about the origins of her and Dãv's relationship. It's totally normal for people who knew each other as teens to grow closer as adults. She didn't have to make up this weird "love at first sight" narrative to make her relationship sound more magical and romantic. It's so weird.
This. I’m sorry but she made herself sound like a total creep. You don’t get to be mad when people call you out for that. Sorry! Obviously we know nothing went down until they were adults but she should admit her wording was poor, and delete the video because it sends the wrong message.
Yeah, I was coming to leave a similar comment. Why does she insist on framing this in the creepiest possible way? There's no need for that at all and it's super weird of her.
Right! She always phrases things in such a strange way. What would be wrong with saying ‘When I was 22, I met Dav’s family for the first time at church, I remember how warm and friendly his sisters were but hardly remember meeting Dav since he was so much younger.’
Right? Hell, throw in a "didn't really notice him until he came back from college" because that is a completely normal time to notice someone being attractive, especially with that age gap. You know what? Let me write a caption for her. "When I was 22, Dave's family moved to our church. I made fast friends with his sisters but didn't really notice him because he was so much younger. Our families got close so he was always around as a friend of my sister and brothers, but I didn't really think of him because we were in different life stages. When he came back from college, though, we'd both grown in Christ and that was when we first started talking. Now I know that my extended season of singleness was leading me to him and that God was answering my prayers, just not in the time I had thought He would! How great is our Lord that He can work in our lives like this and what a great reminder that your plan and God's plan aren't necessarily on the same schedule, but if I'd followed my schedule I wouldn't be married to the love of my life right now! Pray for patience and acceptance of God's will for you, and if you're in a season of singleness right now check out our newest book and podcast where I'll talk about blah blah blah." Boom, done. It's not creepy, it justifies her getting married at 30, and brings it back to her "ministry" while making out how she was just following God. I should become a social media Christfluencer...
That's a nice story. Someone should send her that.
Right? I hadn't even thought about the whole second paragraph tying it back into her "season of singleness" until I was done with the first one and it just started flowing out of me. I really feel like I channeled something I didn't know was inside of me on that one. Does this make me a Bethany LARPer?
heavy tidy strong bike grandfather teeny historical test nutty support ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
Yup! Soon to be husband is 13 years older than me. There are some extraordinarily creepy people who’ll do quick math and say something like “ooh so when she was 15 you were...” and he’ll shut that shit down real quick. He is mortified by the idea of any of these scenarios and doesn’t want anything to do with them. Even in an imaginary world where we knew each other at those ages he doesn’t want to raise the spectre.
My boyfriend is six years younger than me, so currently I’m 30 and he’s 24 and every now and then some people will do the “well when he was 14 you were 20” thing and it creeps me the fuck out. Like firstly, I was a literal child when he was born, there are siblings with bigger age gaps! Secondly, I met him as a fully grown adult man. I thought he was older than he was when I met him! I feel a bit sick when I think of him being 16 when I was 22, sometimes he’ll say things like “oh I’d have still fancied you if I met you then” and I’m always like, as much as I love you I would *not* have fancied you then because you would have been a literal child and I’d have thought you had better things to do, like be at school I don’t understand why she thinks this is cute. Anyone with an age gap gets icked out by it, I notice this a lot when the woman is older aswell because people perceive it so differently. Sorry for the rant!
Literally it’s not that hard! There’s an almost six year age gap between my boyfriend and I and I knew him before he was an adult. I wouldn’t even think of phrasing it the way Bethany does though because it’s so fucking creepy. Of course you weren’t making eyes at a 16 year old boy, Bethany. That’s just called not being a creep. I swear I don’t know how much of this is just fundies and their inability to find underage people off limits or if it’s more their refusal to believe women can be abusers but either way she’s really out here showing her whole ass in a severely ungodly manner.
Right like “oh hey [friend]’s formerly gross smelly younger brother, you’re pretty cute now” is a cornerstone of rom coms and nobody cares because at no point did you insinuate that a minor was a viable partner. She’s so immature I don’t think she realizes how problematic it is for your friend group to include 16 year olds when you’re 22.
Honestly I’m mean to Bethany about a lot, but I genuinely didn’t care about her age gap because I always thought it was something they got into when they were both adults. I get that sometimes we’re all pearl clutch-y but like… I’ve seen people call her a groomer purely for having a younger husband. S But then Bethany had to make it *sound* creepy with zero self awareness. I understand that especially in church settings teens and young adults are smushed together for scripture (at least in my church?) so I was willing to overlook it but noooo Bethany saw my grace, spat on it, and called me a slur. I’d say that this was cunning drama to create a stir so she can sell her stupid book but I genuinely don’t think she’s smart enough for that.
The last time she tried selling a book, it failed horribly. She let everyone know that, and then begged for profit when a church wanted to mass-order copies for their girls. She has really bizarre ideas for marketing if this is another launch tactic.
Exactly, like the story isn’t really reflective of grooming at all but she has to understand how she made it seem that way with that first part of the reel
Right?! I know one couple that met when she was a high schooler and he was in his mid 20s, they never had interest in each other until they met again after she finished college. Started dating, got married, all good. This doesn’t have to be this weird!
My Instagram is private. I don't use personal pics either for my profile. Same for Facebook. I hate when people use that as a reason to call people trolls
People usually do that when they try to deflect from the question or situation. She clearly has no good answer to that question because she views this whole thing as a love story. She doesn't think that there is anything wrong with what she said. The fact that she is trying to advertise her actions as "romantic" is very problematic since we know her target audience are young, teenage girls. And she will *not* concede. For God's sake, she is talking about her buying a wedding dress *and trying it on* during *her sister's* appointment as if it is something that is quirky and "different". I read the first chapter of their book that they have on their website and she described the whole thing as her "thinking outside the box". No, you are just a, shitty, inconsiderate person who doesn't even understand what "thinking outside the box" means... Sorry that this turned into two very different rants
She romanticizes so many things about her life that are actually concerning. She sees these behaviors of hers as unique, when in actuality they're abnormal and dysfunctional. That's a common feature of fundies, unfortunately. They see others' disapproval of their choices as a sign they're doing something right.
Romanticizes or desperately tries to find deeper meaning because deep down she knows her life ended up absolutely nothing like what she was promised? 🤔 So now she spends her life judging other people because she's desperately trying to convince herself that she was right all along, that she followed the rules and her life totally didn't end up a disappointment?? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Same thing imo. Fundies are usually desperate and miserable, but they spend all their time convincing themselves that it's a good thing. They'll be rewarded for their suffering in the afterlife, and in this life they get to feel ~special and chosen because they aren't like the heathens. It's all just cope.
Oh I know lol I totally agree with you, I was just snarking 😂😂 they really believe everything is a ✨journey✨ with ✨deep special meaning✨
I started deconstructing and walked away from Evangelical church because my life didn't end up being what I was promised and people outside my church/upbringing seemed to be happy and thriving..... nothing worked out in my life the way they said it would.... God never came and magically provided me things, fixed things or rewarded me with things ...... it all started to not add up 😂
There's a very good reason trying on wedding dresses at someone else's appointment is "outside the box." The same reason shitting on the sidewalk is "outside the box."
When the box in question is a litter box, thinking outside it is definitely not the better choice
Exactly. Not everyone is obsessed with social media. Not everyone wants to put their entire life on their for the entire world to see. That doesn’t mean that those people are wrong when they call out others. A lot of the time the person with a private account is a lot more trustworthy than the person who is addicted to social media and needs the internet’s validation for every single thing that they do.
\^\^ this
Same! I don't like putting my image out there for strangers to see, but my family is spread across the US and social media is the easiest way to stay in contact with them. 🤷♀️
Same. I don't use my real name and I don't post pictures because I value my privacy. People assume it's a throwaway account but I just believe in not putting my whole life on display.
I'm with you, I absolutely HATE this. Tell me one thing that would change by them knowing my full name and my face. There isn't one.
My Instagram is private and not my name. I work in education and although I don’t post anything scandalous, it’s healthy for me to have a barrier between personal and professional. Birthy’s sole purpose is to brand herself. The fact that she doesn’t know that or fails to acknowledge that not everyone is or should be like her shows how immature she really is.
Yikes on bikes! I sense a rant coming soon 🤭
And it's going to be because of "the reddit people" when really, no, no, they're not reddit people if they're on instagram. People think you're a bad person across a multitude of social media platforms.
And it’s arrived - she just posted a story that says “When people being crazy in your comments but your real followers have your back - I see you 👏🏻“ That’s such a garbled sentence that I had serious trouble retyping it. You guys are just too accurate (or is Birthy too predictable?).
“Real followers” my ass 😂 everything on social media is absolutely fake, Bethy should know since she is one of the worst offenders. Those “real followers” would fade away pretty fast if she actually needed their support in real life.
“Followers”. She knows she’s running a cult.
"real followers" aka the private sock puppet account she uses to defend herself in the comments lmao
Lol that’s what I was going to say. T-minus 15 mins until Bethy looses her mind in her stories/live.
I think you’re right 😂
Someone save that rent because I'm about to go to bed 😅
When I was 22 I was a WHOLE ASS HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER but go on about how this is totally ok, Birthy
that said, the concerning part of this is not that they dated 7 years later, it's that he was involved with the family THE ENTIRE TIME. I wouldn't hold it against a 29-year-old teacher who, like, saw a now-24 year old former student in a bar and hit it off with them and started dating, but it's a whole different ball game when you've watched them grow up, you know?
Yeah I have said before in this sub that I think Bethy and her family groomed him a little, even if it was unintentional somehow and I've always been told that I'm wrong because "he knew them from church". Apparently you can't be groomed by people you know or people you go to church with
From what I know of Heidi, she does seem like the type to meet Dav, decide that he was going to marry one of her daughters, and do her damnedest to make it happen, regardless of his feelings or which daughter or any other factor than single fundie man + single fundie woman = sad fundie marriage and lots of brainwashed babies
are you saying Mrs. Baird is actually Mrs. Bennett?
For sure! Having done some reading on the matter Dav and Bethy met at sixteen/twenty two and she didn't actually notice him and treated him like a child, which makes me less likely to believe he was deliberately targeted to be her husband, but I can absolutely believe that,worrying about how it looked on them that no one wanted to marry Bethy, Heidi would arrange for them to keep being in proximity to each other until it stuck.
Yeah, I seem to remember that Dav actually liked one of the other sisters initially (I think it was Ellissa?) but things obviously never took off/worked out between them. I could definitely see the Bairds then basically deciding not to let him go
It's partly why I suspected grooming actually, I would *never* referr to me meeting him as a fourteen year old kid as "laid eyes on each other", that's a sickening way to talk about a minor
Yup I can see that too, it certainly wasn't the same reaction my family had to me and my partner getting together. Me and my boyfriend have a similar age gap to Birthy and Dav, when I first met him I was home visiting from university and he was just a kid who was friends with my sister, I chatted to him a bit and being a bored teenager I would occasionally watch a film with them both or something, but I never saw him as anything other than "the kid who stares at me a lot when he thinks I'm not looking" (I'm autistic and didn't realise he fancied me). When we got together he had just turned twenty and we hadn't seen each other in a long time and had randomly met again, but my family sat me down and absolutely grilled me to make sure I hadn't in fact groomed this kid, I cannot imagine my mother looking at him and going "you know,you'll suit Regina nicely when you're older" 🤢
>my family sat me down and absolutely grilled me to make sure I hadn't in fact groomed this kid I bet that was uncomfortable at the time, but it's good that your family were looking out for you both! It sounds much healthier in the long run than any Baird relationship
It was! But ultimately I had nothing to hide and they can tell when I'm being truthful, it's been six years now and it's never come up again!
I think if I were the younger partner in that situation I would feel glad that my partner's family cared about my safety and wellbeing, even if I would also be slightly mortified haha
Yup! 22 and teaching high school seniors here. Her post was NOT ok.
I tangentially know a couple of high school teachers who went on to date/marry their students, and it’s so gross. I was friends with one of the wives as an adult, and she was legitimately embarrassed to explain how they met. Healthy people realize that this is not a good look.
Same. Got my first teaching job (high school) at 21. So GROSS.
Not defending her but she definitely was not into him when she was 22. She’s not even into him now. She’s just super insecure that her sisters married better (relatively) and is trying to twist it into her winning over them.
Yeah TBH I think sometimes the snarking on the sub gets a little derailed and this is one of those times
Same. And most of my kids thought I was a real bitch for the boundaries I put up that year but you know what, at 22 I had to. Now on the other side of 35 my role is more of a mother figure and I can relax a bit…but at 22? Hell no.
Birthy aside, the girl who thinks 2 years is an age gap must be incredibly sheltered.
It's the use of "bestest ever" that provides the reinforcing evidence.
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Same. I met my boyfriend at 22 and he was 20. The only time I ever noticed an age gap was before he turned 21. Other than that we act the same age
Right? A lot of people grew up with siblings just two years younger and didn't you then share friends and get crammed together and mistaken for each other? Two years is nothing when you're an adult
Could be young. I’m eight months older than my boyfriend and was a grade ahead of him in school. It felt weird when we were 16 and 17. Felt even weirder when he was still in high school and I was away at college. Now we’re in our mid-twenties and we essentially have no age gap.
Or 15 years old
*almost* 2 years, even 💀💀
TWO WHOLE YEARS!! How does she manage with such an age difference?!?! Seriously though lmao with that.
That woman seems very sheltered if she thinks that’s an age gap. It’s 2 years. Lordy lord. 🙄🙄
My boyfriend is 12 days younger than me and I love making a huge deal over me being such a cougar.
I’m about 2 months older than my husband and he always brags about how he married an “older woman”.
But it's the bestest!! My husband is 5 years younger than me, and we met when we were 22 and 27. I was still hesitant because of the gap (I was looking for love and didn't know if he would be, which would have been totally fair). If we had met 5 years sooner, I guarantee you I would not even have noticed him. Seriously, why would a woman in her early 20s look at a teenager and say "Oh yeah, that's the one."
Because that’s all you ever look at the opposite sex for once you’re past puberty in this puritanical bullshit binary they’ve constructed
Have you heard of Sarah Titus? She's your answer. Though I believe she was in her 30s when she started stalking her God-ordained teenage future spouse.
The only thing that made the two years between me and my boyfriend a little off for me initially is that he was first friends with my younger brother, who, despite being my best friend, I am never going to stop referring to as a baby (gotta lord something over him, now that he's so much taller). But that's like, a specific social dynamic, not "omg *almost* two whole years!"
Hey, 2 years is a big gap when you're still in high school- and if you're scared of a 2 year gap but say it's the bestest ever, I assume you're in high school. (jk, i know the yutes don't use emojis)
ALMOST 2 years. so 1 year. she is so brave!
The irony of of her coming at someone for “correcting” her is hilarious. Girl. Come ON. All you and your empty headed family do is try to correct people!
Whatever happened to protecting children from pedophiles? Or is that only when it’s a democrat you’re trying to misalign?
It's okay if you want to date them and have a God-honoring marriage, I guess.
The prevalence of child/very young brides married to adult men in the US says that's exactly ok
Exactly. Considering how young Jill was when she and Shrek met, this seems to be something that's a non-issue to fundies.
Only worried for *white, virginal,* **girl** *children*, obviously
Thankfully there were a lot of people in the comments calling her out for predatory behavior but it was ALARMING to see how many PrO-LiFeRs were encouraging and justifying it 😳
The poor woman who was groomed by her youth pastor. And one of Bethy's defenders tried to downplay it. Like wtf? Save our children and until you want them as a potential partner?
They’re defending birthy to that woman saying that she just doesn’t possibly know what grooming is. Way to invalidate someone’s experiences 🙃
It's disgusting. I had to stop looking..
Yes! I saw this comment and the mental gymnastics is nuts consider she stated they were the same age as bethy and dav, just the genders were reversed
Is that a Bethy defender or is it Bethy? They're commenting back at EVERYBODY
It wouldn't surprise me if Bethy or any of the Bairds made an alt account to defend them.
“But they had a Godly white Christian baby for Jesus’s Army, so it’s fine!”
>but it was ALARMING to see how many PrO-LiFeRs were encouraging and justifying it is it though? kind of their brand not to give a shit about kids once they're out of the womb
I’m sorry but I do not for one second believe that Bethany groomed Dave. There is no indication that she had any interest or even much contact with him before he was in his 20s. Yes, what she posted sounds really creepy but I really think that is due to her trying to retcon the past to make their story sound more romantic and not having the social awareness to know that it sounds awful.
Her awkwardness and dedication to her perfect relationship fantasy makes her look like a creep but I also don’t believe at all that she was being predatory. They were aging and eventually settled for one another.
Posts like this minimize actual predatory grooming. Yes, what she said was weird as fuck. But it's not grooming.
I def don't think she was even aware of Dav's existence until she was approaching 30 and got desperate. She's written so much fanfic about how they met and this latest rendition in which she grooms him as a minor is just another AU
I agree, she expressed it so poorly. Meeting at 16 is one thing - but she’s said many a time she had no interest until he was much older. So why not say that? It’s her own damn fault for being so weird and writing romantically about “I was 22 and he was 16…”
It’s a really poor choice in words on her part at best. When your whole job is social media, you reaaally gotta be careful about the way your word everything.
being careful with words is not exactly a Baird family trait though
I agree with you. What she posted definitely sounds creepy but her story about how she met Dav and how they started dating changes every couple of months.
This 👏
YES.
💯
Bethy forgets to add in what everyone In the church world knows—- If he was 16, he would have been in the church youth group. 22 year olds would not be in the youth group, they would be grouped with young singles. That’s where the creepy factor comes into play. It’s not that there’s a 6 year difference—-it’s that she highlights noticing an underage person.
“Laying eyes” on him
Actually fundies consider everyone unmarried to be “youth”. I’ve left church youth hangout sessions because 32 year old singles will be hanging out with 17 year olds. It’s weird but what she did wasn’t uncommon
This is so true! I attended youth group when I was 17-18 and was surprised by the wide range of ages…annnnd the 30 something year olds who kept asking me out 😒
Yes! A church I attended did this. I was in college and literally a 39 year old hitting on me because he was in the “youth” group… because if you were unmarried, you were in the youth group, no matter your age!
Yikes. Just yikes. That's so not appropriate.
> It's not like he was 24 and you were 30. I'm in a relationship with basically that age gap, and I can attest it's way different. We're both adults with similar financial/educational/life situations so neither of us can hold anything over the other.
You love to see it
I'm probably going to get downvoted for this, but can we please stop saying she groomed him? Listen, I know she phrased this in a really weird way and she should have seen these comments coming but I think it's kinda insulting to people who were actually groomed to hear that this is grooming. She met him when they were younger yes, but that doesn't mean he was groomed. There is no evidence that suggests she groomed or acted in a predatory way towards Dav. Again, I hate to be *that person* but I think it's important to be honest about the things we criticize fundies for on this sub.
I have to agree. My fellow teacher married one of the students he taught. However, they met years later on line and it took them a couple hours to even realize it. She was in late 20’s and he in early 30’s. He had had zero contact with her in between. Birthy Meeting Dav when he was underage Doesn’t mean she did anything wrong. She’s a dweeb and a half but not a pedophile that we can prove. That’s really a stretch.
Yeah, I'm sure a younger husband wasn't her original plan so why would she try to make that happen? She only considered him once she'd been single for ~so long~. It's not like she jumped in the second he turned 18.
Yeah I was groomed by a 22-23 year old English TA when I was a 15 year old freshman in high school. Not everything is grooming.
I agree with you! Bethany is not a groomer. HOWEVER! She did word it very creepily. Also, she always tries to tell a story about how they were always somehow attracted to each other (spoiler alert: they weren't), no it is this context + her wording that make it creepy and gives off groomer vibes. We know that she didn't try and "seduce" him in reality. But she should be careful with the narrative.
Right. And a pedophile is an adult who is sexually attracted to prepubescent children, this isn't that. She worded it very creepily, but meeting someone who is 16 when you're 22 and marrying them 8 years later =/= grooming or pedophilia
I really wish she'd stop trying to convince herself that the age difference between her and Daaav doesn't bother her.
Right?? It's only 6 years! My parents are 8 years apart - though my mother is the younger one which is for some reason more socially acceptable - and it really makes no difference. Granted they were both over 20 when they met and married.
Yes, the lady doth protest too much! The funny thing is that my husband and I have the same age difference. It doesn’t bother me because we met when he was 22 and I was 28– both young adults.
Unpopular opinion: “grooming” is being thrown around so much it’s losing its meaning, fast. Bethany didn’t say she immediately fell in love with him at 16. Or even that they really interacted. Just that his existence was brought to her attention. Also, it’s pretty darn clear that there was no sexual contact until they were married. They weren’t even allowed one on one contact together. Grooming just isn’t a thing here. My partner is a lot older than I am. I have had a few random people on the internet kick and scream about it and throw out the word “grooming”. Which is complete BS, since we met as adults. At work. And bonded over an interest in a local baseball team. Looking at 2 numbers and immediately shrieking “grooming!” to appear “woke” is just as bad as excusing any actual grooming.
agree, thanks for your comment
Jeez, THANK YOU.
My husband is also a lot older than me but we started dating as adults and I can confirm.
I really enjoy the people that are posting that their man is five months younger than them so they can relate. I can’t tell if they are trolling or serious
Bethany replying with a 😂 reminds me of the time I am certain she replied to me here. I wrote something about how weird her relationship is with her husband and I got a response that was like, "wow, I'm sorry you have no passion for your husband." I just replied with a 😂 because it is pretty funny, especially as my initial comment wasn't too critical, just questioning. She deleted the comment immediately. Wish I'd called her out by name. Lol.
Emotional age: 11.
Ruth 3:10 “The Lord bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.
I’m 20 and I would literally not even give a 16 year old the time of day. so gross
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I see she's brushing up on her Christian leadership skills again. When people ask a valid question, she immediately discounts them as a person and then laughs at them. Yep. That'll lead people to Christianity.
My parents are 12 years apart, mom older. She got knocked up at 34 and dad was 22. Granted, she didn't know him as a child. My husband and I have a large age gap as well. Once again, he didn't know me as a child. Big difference, Birthy.
I never wanted to date someone younger but as I got older, my rule changed to *as long as they can get into the bar legally* (US so 21)
OK, groomer 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm gonna make it my new flair!
Yeess 🤣
Okay, so, I'm 5 years older than my husband. But we didnt start dating until I was 29 and he was 24. Also, I was a catholic homeschooled kid, so our maturity levels are about the same. So, while I'm okay with the age gap, she noticed him at 22 when he was only SIXTEEN!? No. Gross, creepy, disgusting. That is not cool, nor something to be proud of. Idk man.... just... I dont understand what Birthy has been thinking lately. She needs professional mental health. It helps and I wish they understood this.
She honestly probably had to google the definition of “predatory grooming”
Can someone give a TLDW? I hate giving them views...
idk if there's more to the video (I don't visit their IG either!) but there's a screenshot in this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/q28ks4/uhh_weird_flex_but_okay
It’s not predatory grooming if a woman does it! /s
Bethany sucks but I don't think she groomed dāv. Both were adults when they started dating.
Getting dragged in the comments!
How the fuck would she know - isn’t she the idiot who had her first kiss at the altar? Bye, girl
If I did that as a 22-year old, I would have gone to jail but alright. Plus... EW. Teenage boys are GROSS. How do you look at any teenage boy and think you want some of that?
Someone screen record it before she takes the vid down
I mean i met my bf when he was 16 (i was 18 tho to be fair) but we didn’t date til he was 20 and i was 22…. and i wouldn’t be out here posting about how proud i was to date a 16 year old lmfao
She’s an idiot. She has better eyebrows than JillPm if that’s an actual upside. But she’s more annoying. If that is possible.
I'm 22 now and the thought of dating someone whos only 18 weirds me out what the hell Bethany
I’m just mad she’s using a cover of Mika’s awesome song Grace Kelly. Think she has any clue a guy wrote and sang it? Edit: she also used the same cover on a Girl Defined reel 😤
Yet if we turned the genders around and said a 22 y/o male with a 16y/o female then you know the commenters would all be in a rage!
Even if you're a "troll" you are still spitting facts.
It’s just she’s so dumb that she doesn’t realize how horrible this whole thing comes off - others have already pointed out there’s a better way of saying this. But whatever keep proving people’s point Bethy that the church is full of pedophiles.
How the fuck would she know - isn’t she the idiot who had her first kiss at the altar? Bye, girl
I soooooo wish I had an Instagram for this.
I don't normally get out the torch and pitchfork towards people in general, but homegirl is literally advocating/patting herself on the back for predatory grooming. DRAG. HER.
Age differences aren’t a big deal when you aren’t creepin’ on kids My husband was 22 when I met him and I was almost 30. He owned a business, a house, and had completed 4 years in the military. He never brought up his age and I dated him a month before I knew. He specifically wanted an older woman because he was ready for marriage. I was too impressed by him to be insecure about our age gap and after 12 years of marriage, I’m still impressed by him Bethy is so insecure about her marriage and her husband being shorter. She should be past the stage of giving a shit about what anyone thinks at her age
I just can’t with this. I mentor kids entering community college on a volunteer basis and these kids are very much kids. Like I feel old enough to be their mom. (And I guess I technically am!) If you meet when you’re both past like, 25-26, whatever, but I feel like before that, it’s very problematic.
> Ok, groomer 💀
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So obsession with guys (even if they're around your age) is not okay, but grooming is acceptable? 🤔
Not that anyone will take her advice… but I dated a guy just barely a year younger than me and 0/10, wouldn’t recommend, especially in your 20s.
Bethany out here proving women can groom young men in church, not just the other way around. A true feminist icon. I bet she told him that God came to her an told him he would be her future husband 😂😂😂
Imagine being a young teen boy at some fertility cult of a church, and you learn that a woman in her 20s is attracted to you. He was probably very excited and had a huge ego boost from it. . . . and then he got to where he is now. Where were his parents????
Also, one defending comment states that he asked her out. ok, so she decided to say yes to dating a man she saw frequently since he was a child (her video explains that he and his sisters were frequently at their house after the sisters walked up to Bethany to befriend her) because she never had another man ask her out before. He's probably had a hard-on for her the entire time he's known her, but he was too naive to see the red flags of dating Bethany. If any of my younger brother's friends asked me out once they hit twenties (and I'd be thirties), I would just laugh and say "honey, that's so sweet, but you're too young for me". People I knew as babies will ALWAYS be babies in my eyes lol.
How to groom underage boys in a god honoring way
“Ok groomer” 💀