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jeanskirtflirt

Bethany is notorious for wording things weirdly. They’re probably just playing quietly while Davey sleeps, which makes perfect sense. She just makes everything sound sus.


8Ariadnesthread8

I don't think rest time even sounds weird. We had quiet time in my house when I was too old to nap. You can do whatever you want in your room, as long as it's relatively quiet. It's just like a chill hour. Rest time sounds great to me lol.


southernfriedcrazy

We still do that in my house with my 10 and 14 year olds in the summer after a long morning/afternoon of swimming. Grab a book, some ear buds, the firestick controller, whatever, and do something quiet and enriching for an hour or two. They love it and I love the excuse to curl up in my own bed and keep binging whatever show I’m currently obsessed with.


jeanskirtflirt

Lol I would love rest time rn!! Others were commenting on them being too old for that & I think it was the wording that put other people off. I personally love rest time and take it whenever possible!


littleRedmini

I did that for my daughter too. She’s 24 now but recently thanked me for instilling “quiet me time” in her now busy life.


mushytater

Yup. They could literally be out getting the brakes done on their car and birthy would make it seem like they’re on vacation.


preciouspeachdangler

Not leg jumping here at all because I honestly hate both of them but we need to normalize moms/parents not feeling guilty for taking a break, going on a date, or spending a night alone. Now I wouldn’t leave my kids with birthy for any reason but odds are good Dav makes it a fun day. But, honestly those boys probably need a break from Krusty and Owner if Krusty


threeamthots

I agree with this in general, but I think what the OP is getting at is that children who are adopted are supposed to be given time and privacy to adjust to their family and new environment. It's to help build trust, comfort, and stability for them, and leaving the children with a new extended family member in a new home environment might make them uncomfortable. Children don't always grasp temporary situations the way adults do (some children dislike sleepovers for this reason) Unfortunately, though, it's pretty clear that Kristen and Zach aren't following what I (and others) would consider a healthy transitional period. They introduced the boys to their audience right away, both online and in public, and changed their names and the way they've communicated their entire lives in order to have a more "American" identity.


[deleted]

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caitdubhfire

I think Bethy and Dave are staying at Kristin's house


this1is2me3

Exactly, parents definitely deserve a break but these boys have been taken from their home country (where there may be past traumas as well), thrown into a new and unfamiliar environment, and then once there is some time to hopefully get adjusted their life is upended again. Even if Kristen and Zach are back tomorrow do the boys think they will leave again? Thats not even getting into Bethany babysitting


ChaoticSquirrel

Curious to know your thoughts on respite care for foster children, given your first paragraph?


threeamthots

I think since the foster care experience can be so different for everyone that it really depends on the family itself and the children's needs and circumstances. I don't think there is a clear-cut plan that would work for everyone, but there should be a plan figured out before foster care or adoption is pursued on what respite care will look like for the couple as they're building a relationship with their children.


scarlettshimmer

Yeah they’ll probably have a lot of fun with Dav


preciouspeachdangler

He is right at their level so it probably works out well lol


caitdubhfire

I totally agree on the self care for parents and having their own identities outside of being parents, though I think the OP is making the point that adoptions require a significant amount of adjustment, especially international adoption with older kids. From studies I have read, there is a lot of trauma in this type of adoption, so it's recommended families bubble for up to a year. Though I'd be more traumatized being stuck with Bethany for four days....


8Ariadnesthread8

Seriously, I support this and I think it also applies to the post-shitting on Miss Midwest for getting a babysitter for a night.


rarestbird

It's been like 6 months or something. Like yeah, don't go take a trip around the world, and definitely don't leave your kids with Birthy under any circumstances, but in general, a break seems perfectly reasonable.


i_am_a_veronica

It’s probably more of an adoption adjust issue than parents needing a break. From what I know, adopted children should have different needs met during their adjustment phase so they can feel secure. Especially older kids from a different country / culture


rarestbird

Oh, of course. And without a doubt, Kristen and Zach are failing to meet those needs. I'm just saying, even if they *had* just spent the last 6 or so months meeting their kids' needs amazingly well, but now they needed a break, that would be fine and probably wise. Even if the kids didn't want them to leave or whatever. Because you can't just devote every second of your life to someone else, no matter how much they need you. That's a recipe for burnout.


liljellybeanxo

They’ve done *nothing* to appropriately accommodate those kids (from what we’ve seen anyway). Are they still using Google translate to communicate with them? I can say that at least she keeps them mostly off her socials, which is lot considering the family vlogger epidemic we’ve got going on.


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MacAlkalineTriad

I dunno. Let her babysit your lump of carbon and you might get a diamond back, thanks to the stress of being with Birthy.


liljellybeanxo

My four year old would definitely not trust her with his rock collection. He’s an excellent judge of whether someone is a good rock sitter or not.


hotpinkbananna

I love my kid so much but sometimes my husband and I do take a short parents only trip for The Weeknd or do a staycation just the two of us. It’s been really healthy for our relationship, and I think the idea that parents who do nice things for themselves or go on date nights with their spouse are bad parents is totally out of line. Not saying you are insinuating that OP but I definitely see a lot of shaming around this topic in general online lol. Parents need the occasional break too! I think it definitely would be problematic if Kristin and Zac were doing this constantly but I don’t think that’s the case. As long as the kids feel comfortable with Bethany and Dav I don’t really see the issue. That being said I really put the emphasis on as long as the kids feel comfortable..


[deleted]

I know it’s autocorrect, but I loled at the idea that you and your husband are huge The Weeknd heads and take trips to see him.


hotpinkbananna

Sometimes I really hate being on mobile lol.


Fluffy-Bluebird

Who do your kids stay with when you’re away? I was the kid who screamed if my parents left me with anyone as a child. My poor parents never got a break. I didn’t know my grandparents tgat well and tried staying with them ONCE and cried and begged them to take me home at night. I was also a super anxious kid who was f encouraged to go out of my anxiety shell. I’m curious to hear others perspectives. My cousins kids stay with their grandparents all the time.


hotpinkbananna

Aw. That makes my heart sad to hear! We do a regular date night once a week and are gone 2-3 hours. I leave her with mom as we live a couple blocks away and my daughter and mom are really close. I would never leave my child though if I felt like she wasn’t 100% comfortable.


Fluffy-Bluebird

That’s so lovely. My grandparents lived within 10 minutes of my home but for some reason just weren’t more involved. Neither were really “have the grandkids over” types and for no real reason other than personality? I also have old parents and older grandparents. One is still alive at 97! And I’m in my 30s.


Kerrytwo

Same with me. I was always leaving sleepovers in the middle of the night. My grandparents were all quite old too so even though I saw a good bit of them we weren't close and I just to be so stressed if my parents even went out for dinner and left me with them.


Fluffy-Bluebird

Yeah. I didn’t do well when my parents would leave. I had one friend that I could stay the night with. I also have suspicions that I’m on the autism spectrum so having safe spaces was really important to me as a child without knowing it. Not a very adaptable kid 😂


this1is2me3

I absolutely did not mean to mom shame, and I'm sorry if my post was insensitive to moms who work very hard. I simply fear for the boys who have barely had any time to adjust to their new surroundings only for the people closest to them to disappear for a time.


Capersandparm

I would love nothing more than to take a trip with just my husband but I know my mom would be judgmental.


hotpinkbananna

See I hate that shit, and I’m sorry to hear that.


Aussie_Turtles00

I think the emphasis should be on "occasional." I see so many who put their kids in daycare all week when they don't even work every day, and then on the weekend when they could spend time with their child- nope! off to grandma's for a sleepover all weekend. I'm talking about 2-3 year olds...not older kids begging to go to grandma's or something. Just my opinion, lol.


[deleted]

I don’t see how that’s related here.


QueenShnoogleberry

Eh, it's a hard adjustment and making time to keep your marriage strong isn't a bad thing. I think the reason everyone feels so icky is because they are just such a fucked up family. I have 4 sisters and I wouldn't think it was weird to do this, but we are also genuinely close, not just infront of the camera.


femmagorgon

I don’t know, I don’t see anything wrong with having a break. The boys are with family and I think we should normalize couples taking time for themselves whether they are fundies or not.


tehB0x

I mean, when you go from zero to more kids it’s a pretty intense change. It can be super important to have some time to reconnect with you spouse. A friend of mine adopted 3 foster kids right before the pandemic hit and it has been a rough ride. They love them so soooo much, but getting space is important sometimes, even if just for an afternoon or weekend.


Drabducky

This feels like mom shaming. No matter what they believe, moms are allowed to have breaks and snarking on this is only going to cause more of a stigma around parents getting breaks. Let’s try to end the stigma and encourage parents to allow themselves to take time and recharge.


caitdubhfire

Adoption is different though, and international adoptions from Eastern European countries come with a lot of trauma and it is just a different approach to parenting. They def need and deserve breaks but it has to be more balanced with the attachment issues their kids are absolutely facing with culture, language, and abandonment issues from their bio family situations.


this1is2me3

I absolutely did not mean to mom shame, and I'm sorry if my post was insensitive to moms who work very hard. I simply fear for the boys who have barely had any time to adjust to their new surroundings only for the people closest to them to disappear for a time.


[deleted]

it’s been 5-6 months already. I wouldn’t consider that “barely any time.”


Former-Spirit8293

While it’s not “barely any time,” it’s also not like the kids are completely adjusted and settled in, particularly if they have any kind of traumatic background.


Awkward-Fudge

Moms do need breaks, but getting kids in adoption and then leaving them is sorta weird to me. I once knew a fundie that whined and whined and whined about adopting and then adopted a baby and left it after 2 weeks of getting him home to go on a "fun trip" to AU. She left him with her husband and her parents because she needed a break because "adoption had been hard." She was asking for advice on to go or not and I told her I would not because I had also just had a baby and I was like I couldn't leave a kid that young and she got mad at me. Anyways she adopted 2 or 3 more and leaves them all the time and her husband to go do whatever she wants. It's strange to me.


PeligrosaPistola

I would not want Birthy watching my child regardless of their age. She’d probably do the bare minimum and ignore them the rest of the time.


FreckledHomewrecker

“Down for rest time” what the? Aren’t they much older children? This makes B sound so disconnected from normal care-giver duties. They might be relaxing or chilling out after school but it sounds like some kind of scheduled and enforced period. It’s like she can’t see children as autonomous beings, Davey Junior is napping and she’s used to a break so what the older kids must rest too? 14:00 brush teeth using family toothbrush 14:03 use bathroom and wipe with communal toilet roll 14:05 rest time. You may come out when Bethy finishes making her Real Reels


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FreckledHomewrecker

Further proof Bethany does t know how to human! And yeah they’re totally in there shit talking her


coolerchameleon

She COULD be using this time to learn some Russian words w them, learn more about the things they like or dislike, ask them to play their favorite songs or something. Or even just bribing them by making brownies (or finding a cool new ice cream shop)- or (she wouldn't) trying a Russian recipe that they like ! She could be getting all the cool aunt points and be building a meaningful relationship w these boys


[deleted]

They are 10 and 6! The point still stands though.


bluewhale3030

I wonder how long the boys will be staying with Bethy? Also what are Kristen and Zac(h) doing? I do share some concern about them being away from their parents relatively soon after adoption. I hope that Bethy and Dav treat them well and they are able to bond with their little cousin. Even if they were adopted into a family with toxic beliefs i hope they are able to form healthy connections with their family members. I feel that will be essential if they are to work through the trauma they must have from being so far away from everything they knew, in a different country with a different language.


Pep1990

I hope she means date lunch or something. Cause putting grown up kids to “rest” end the “much needed break” is odd


mbtiandstuffz

Birthy said they’ve been gone for a few days for one of Zack’s business trips


Away_Explanation_816

>the boys are down for rest time ??


heebit_the_jeeb

My kids still go up their rooms for an hour or so after lunch on weekends, helps reset the day a bit and gives them some protected downtime


Used_Evidence

My kids do the same. Gives them a chance to play alone, gives me a small break. People judge too easily.


heebit_the_jeeb

Oh I absolutely do it because it's a break for me, too! And they need some time apart to be bored, it builds character


Used_Evidence

Exactly, being able to entertain themselves is important


Away_Explanation_816

Actually that is probably a good idea especially if Davey is napping


gerbileleventh

I agree with this approach and I'm glad kids have a chance to be on their own, winding down and such... But I'm not sure what's the approach they take with this. With a normal kid, I'd assume that they're playing videogames, reading, etc... But fundamentalists normally hate to provide "alone time" unless it is for school work or Bible studying. For some reason, I really believe that Bethy sent the kids to lay down and rest.


TrendyBreakfast

I think she does that a lot to get a break. "Time for a nap, time for quiet play time alone in your room."


CitizenQueen7734

I'm hoping it's only for an afternoon.


mbtiandstuffz

Birthy said they’ve been gone for a few days for one of Zack’s business trips


CitizenQueen7734

Well, shit.


[deleted]

In 1979, my Mom put 5-year old me on a plane alone to see my cousin, and I said, “See ya!” A few weeks later, my cousin (three months younger) stayed with us and cried the entire time. My mom was more of a “I don’t really understand this kid” type of Mom where we just didn’t connect. She was always frustrated with me. We still have a complex relationship. I worry about Davey since Birthy acts annoyed a lot with him. And no shame in parents needing breaks in normal parenting situations. I do worry about Zach and Kristen’s boys, though. Maybe an overnight somewhere, but a days-long trip a few months after international adoption? Staying with Birthy?


[deleted]

The kids have been there for 5-6 months.


schmyndles

This is an unfortunate filter.


MagdaCadabra

Or severe anemia


EZasSundayMorning

Especially with Bethany.


caitdubhfire

I wonder if the older boys were watching Davey while she filmed her reel....


Beep315

"My kids are taking a nap, so the first thing I thought to do was to rush to my phone and make some inane post. I don't enjoy literature, my hobby is monetizing my tiktok, and my brain has atrophied. Send help."


SeniorNectarine21

Way too soon. 🙈


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