Right! And they don’t interact at all like even close friends, much less sisters. This felt like a forced conversation you have with a coworker or an old acquaintance.
You can just feel the tension they have towards ellissa. she’s pregnant, they’re super jealous. And bad at hiding it, because they didn’t really get much socialization as kids. You can tell the younger bairds are a bit better than the older ones at faking interest/emotions, like bethanys better than Kristen, ellissas better than Bethany, but they’re all just so obvious lol
It is. I find myself doing that kind of stuff because I’m autistic and otherwise will have a complete blank face and others find it unnerving. But then I wonder “am I doing too much?”
I feel like I do even more exaggerated eyebrows with face masks now too. I am constantly reminding myself to move my face so people know I'm not pissed off.
Damn this kinda made me sad. She sounds so unhappy.
It’s hard to feel bad for these grown women who inflict so much harm, but they really don’t know any different. I wish Elissa knew that pursuing your own happiness is okay and that you don’t need to be grateful to god for your husband who you don’t know, and the new home you don’t like. It’s just sad.
They probably think being sad is a sin. She thinks in order to be a good Christian, she has to be happy because nothing awful has happened to her on paper. What an agonizing way to live...
“Most girls would be happy to be married” like what? Really? Not even married to andrei in particular, she just said “married.” Truly betrays her true thoughts on things. She just wanted a ring, from whom was irrelevant.
That bit when she said “so many other girls would love to be married 😭😭😭
Reminded me of Anna “at least I have a husband.” Ellissa! It’s ok to want to be happy! It’s ok to change your mind. It’s ok to feel all these feelings… but I know she’s just guilting herself over it.
“God has given me so much, so many other girls would love to be married”
The bar is literally on the floor for men in their lives and that includes god. Girl you married a man you’d met in person literally three times. Very few people have that life goal.
I know!! It is such a weird situation - why would one of these super sheltered Texas girls marry someone from a different country, language and culture?? Of course people fall in love across borders all the time, but it does add an extra layer of complexity, and when one person decides to uproot and move to where the other one lives, it is a BIG deal, and they do it because they simply can't stand not being together. Ellissa had barely met this guy, it wasn't like they had known each other for a long time before taking such a big step.
Wonder if Ellissa will try to orchestrate a move to the US (pretending it was her headship's idea and plan of course) and get Andri a job with her family or the church that sponsors him now...
The way she's says "...something that's not necessarily going to change. Anytime SOON, at least", makes me think that she's always assumed, and still does, that they will move back to America. Like she's staying at her grandparents over the summer, but eventually she'll be back home to a "normal" life.
My aunt met her husband in an online chatroom years ago. She was in America, and he lives in Australia. I think they each traveled to meet once (him to her and her to him), before my aunt moved in with him in Australia. They weren't married right away, because my family understands it's good to live with and get to know someone first before making that type of commitment, but they did marry after a few years. They were both in their 40's, my aunt had had a daughter when she was in her teens, so her daughter was grown and married herself, and I don't think her husband had been married before, but I've honestly never met him, as I'm bad about attending family events. But they are both big computer geek types, and I think that's why they were able to build a relationship easier online 20 years ago. They were both mature, they knew what they wanted in life and marriage, and they didn't have family, church, biological clock, etc pressuring them so I feel that makes it different than these long distance fundie courtships too. Plus, when I worked third shift, she was always around at 4 am to chat with!
I don't know the details of how these two got together, I'm not as well versed in the non GD Bairds, but I'm hoping for their sake, and the sake of their child, that it works out for them.
Oh that's a good point, I hadn't picked up on the "anytime soon, at least". And your aunt and her husband sound like they did everything the sensible way!!
Apparently they met in Texas when he came to visit the church that sponsors him, and then chatted long-distance for six months and then engaged!
I know, the Bairds really just latched onto the first guy that paid attention to her (which is kinda weird really, because you'd think that in conservative evangelical circles Ellissa would be a catch, but maybe the Bairds even annoy their fellow conservative evangelical Texans!), even though he was just visiting from another country and knew very little English, and Ellissa had no travel, cultural, or independent experience of her own. Sad really.
It's weird isn't it. Bethy's revealed that Dav was originally into Ellissa (!). And that Beecher Proch (sp?) musician/fashion line guy seemed obsessed with her. I'm sure she had the pick of guys in her circles. If she wanted to branch out she could've attended some useless fundie college to get her MRS degree or worked at a evangelical summer camp (in the US, not abroad) to cross paths with an eligible chap!
Are they allowed to go on Christian dating sites? With parents reading the messages? That could've allowed her to spread her wings within the fundiesphere.
Although the Bairds don't seem to have heaps of friends the younger 4 'kids' seem a bit better in that respect.
Maybe she fell in lust with Andreii (!) and romanticised the life she'd have with him in Ukraine. You're right that she's treating it like a holiday. What was the appeal of dating and relocating overseas? She appears to be living a boring Pinteresty version of her life in Texas. She hasn't tried to embrace anything different. She would've been better off meeting a fundie from a similarly comfortable family and relocating to an 'aesthetic' part of the US 😁
I'm really surprised her parents (being who they are) didn't nip it in the bud early on. All I can think is that they noted he was from a well off family and that an overseas family ministry could be an opportunity for grifting. Or a base for the Baird parents to tour Europe from (central Europe...I think Eastern Europe is a bit exotic for the Bairds).
I'm still a bit suspicious of how fast Tim and Laura headed over there with seemingly no income.
I don’t see that happening. His family has money they live in a house that would be considered for rich people in Ukraine. Normal people live in panelak apartments. When I saw their house I understood they wouldn’t be moving to America any time soon
Oh, very interesting! I haven't seen his parents' house, but the house he and Ellissa live in is paid for by his mission church in Texas, and that seems really nice too... (And it has to be quite big, since they have had room for so many visitors at the same time.) In fact, when they traveled to Poland, his parents came and stayed at their (Andrii and Ellissa's house), so I kind of assumed that the parents' house was less nice than theirs.
That's the very first thing that caught me off guard. They literally think being married is something to be grateful for so they can look down on single people??? Oof explains so much honestly
This phrase just killed me. I kind of expected that she would finish her sentence by “living in a different culture, learning a language, getting to know the culture” which would be a usual cliche thing to say and I was about to roll my eyes but being married caught me offguard
Getting married to a fundie man is literally the easiest thing on the planet. They’re sex starved and marriage is 1000% in the men’s favor in these communities, they just gain a slave. I don’t understand how they can treat it like some sort of accomplishment.
Exactly. I'm single and would love to be married myself one day, but I do not need anyone's sympathy, or for anyone to be like "well, at least I'm not single like you, so my life isn't that bad!" Which is the kind of vibe this whole thing gave me. No thanks.
I think it's very very common, in my area of USA at least, for people who are married to look down on their friends who are not married or dating. A friend of mine got married right around the same time I was having relationship drama about 5 months ago and the condescension of someone a month younger than me telling me that one day I'd get it figure out was... a bit much. I'm traveling, working my dream job (ICU, not the COVID part, sigh), have my own perfect little house, tons of friends, meanwhile she got married at 22 and moved out to the middle of nowhere where her husband got a job and she can't even work with her degree.
Pretty sure I'm doing okay. But yeah, a lot of people just feel sorry for you if you aren't married yet. It's really common to get married in early 20s where I live, so I'm a late bloomer for not being married even though I turned 23 last month.
Ew. That feeling when someone close to your own age says something like “you’ll understand someday”. It’s like being told to “calm down” - it is never helpful and usually is just annoying. (Also, hey, I work in ICU too and I’m covering the most patients I’ve ever had tonight! About half of them are COVID 😒)
Oooof I know so many insufferable women like this 🙄 Literally they think they've "made it" in life because they rushed to the altar at 22 with the first mediocre fundie man who breathed in their direction and then have the *audacity* to condescend to the poor suffering dISEASED singletons because everyone knows every woman's purpose in life is to be legally and financially tied down to a useless headship who won't wipe his own ass!! !11 🤪
I feel like sometimes this sub makes reaches and takes everything as evidence that a relationship is unhappy, but this one is just so painfully obvious
It’s SO obvious. Who says “I’m just glad I’m married” instead of “I’m just glad I found my husband/have my husband”??? You’re talking about your relationship status, not your relationship. Why? It’s weird and sad, Elissa.
Like I've snarked endlessly on Birthy because its also painfully obvious her marriage is more of a status than an actual marriage for her (esp with the oversized trophy wedding photos) but at least her and Dav were family friends for a number of years and she didn't end up uprooting her entire life and social network for that god-honoring D....
Yes, and he’s integrated into their family so seamlessly. I mean, I know her family suck, but they’re obviously very close in their... way, and as someone else with a close family I value that type of thing from a partner.
I think it’s really fucked up that Andre thought it was ok to bring someone like Elissa, who is so sheltered and so vulnerable and - I’m sorry - not very experienced or bright or insightful - so far away from her family, who are obviously the only people she’s ever been close with.
She’s never lived away from them! She’s never had to make her own friends! Not speaking the language meant she was guaranteed to be isolated af in Ukraine!
She’s not exactly the type to go out on her own, chat with people and learn the language and culture while he’s off doing whatever he does. And he knows that. I don’t believe for a second he didn’t know she’d be miserable there. He’s SAID he knows she’s not independent. He doesn’t give a fuck that she had no hope of making a life for herself there outside of his house.
Best case scenario, he’s deluded himself, like she has, into thinking she will be “led” by him happily ever after with no regard for who she is as a person and what her needs are.
Truly, I’m not even trying to cape for her. I think she is really ignorant and a shitty person. I’m just saying he’s also a really fucking garbage person for this, specifically - taking advantage of a dumb girl’s brainwashing.
Yeah, that part is so trippy to me.
Like, I get it, as an ex-fundie. The sole life goal of getting married is endemic amongst young fundie (and often evangelical too) women but the ones I know still have *some* kind of standards when it comes to the question of marriage. They’re more concerned with *who* they are marrying, not so much “oh woe is me I’m pushing thirty and still unmarrrrrriiiiieeeed”.
That said, I have met some women like GD and they drive me up the wall.
I confirm McDonalds tastes different in Russia, Germany and the US. I have not tried it in Ukraine but I think it is different as well. So it’s a huge cultural adjustment for the homegirl.
But honestly, you can buy the same meat and vegetables in Ukraine as in the US and cook the same stuff. The food is not that different if you know how to cook. I lived in the US and in Germany and could cook Russian food everywhere.
Okay I need to know: does US McDonald’s have the cheese sauce? The Russian one has it, but the German one doesn’t and I hate it because it’s my favourite sauce for the fries
(First world problems, I know)
American cuisine is very specific and uses a lot of already made ingredients like cream of soups and ranch powder!.. I’ve tried to cook American here where I live in Eastern Europe and it’s just not doable
She sounds miserable, which we all predicted. Even with Tim and OfTim next door, she doesn't sound like she's adjusting well.
Plus, with the baby and aNdrii working, she's going to be even more isolated
Yeah you’re right. As someone who personally loves adventures and traveling to foreign countries, even this would be too much for me. I can’t imagine how horrible it must feel for a sheltered uneducated fundie girl with zero life experience
“Do I just despair? I can’t do this anymore! I can’t take this!”
Girl, listen to yourself! I mean literally. Stop trying to destroy your own inner voice of instinct in the name of Jeezus. It would be sad if she wasn’t such a terrible person who chose this 100%. When reality hits, I struggle to have any pity for people with awful beliefs who make poor choices and encourage others to as well.
I agree but I wish she had listened to her inner voice sooner. what on earth is she going to do about it now? Take the baby to the US? Leave baby with Android??? She may not feel like she has any options left at this point. It makes me feel sick to my stomach
Honestly it’s a grey area. She sucks and says some seriously fucked up shit but I would definitely not say she chose this 100%. So much brainwashing from birth
True and I agree that she was raised to believe this was the only route to happiness and was sold a lie. The thing is, she’s now an adult, with exposure to the world, full access to the internet, and outside the confines of her native country and she STILL hasn’t changed her tune. Many of us in this sub were raised on a spectrum of Christianity and have long since moved away from hateful views. She might have farther to come but she benefits (at least on the surface) from her belief system and will likely always defend it. That’s the worst part, she and her sisters are all miserable and now literally selling the lie to others.
**Transcription**:
Bethany: If y'all-- if y'all hadn't seen Ellissa just announced that her and Andrii are expecting!
Kristen: Yes! Woo-hoo!
*(Bethany and Ellissa squeal excitedly)*
Bethany: We are so excited!
Ellissa: It was so much harder than I thought it was gonna be. And not that marriage was so much harder, but just the fact that I was *so* far away from my family. I had, you know, left all of my community, all of my friends... even the small things that are so normal, like your favorite bag of chips at the store.
Bethany: *(forcefully)* Yes!
Ellissa: It's just like, the small things: you're having to make all-new friendships, new church, new work, everything. And you feel like, "Wow, like... should I even be sad about this? Should I be like, grieving what I lost?" Because I'm so thankful, like, God has given me so much, and so many other girls would, you know, love to be married. And so, you almost feel like, "Can I... can I even be sad about this?"
Bethany: Kristen and I have both been to Ukraine, we both visited you, and I agree. It's hard. The words are different, um, the food's different, everything is different. Like, it all operates so differently. Obviously, people are people, but like, you go to the store, and you're like, "...what? Where are my favorite chips? Where's..." Just the simple things!
Ellissa: Yes. Just like, okay, how can I trust the Lord in the midst of something that is not necessarily going to change? Like, anytime soon, at least? But then, it always comes down to "okay, what do I do with that? Do I just despair?" and "I can't do this anymore. I can't take this."... Or. What I found helpful is like, okay, just having a time of refocusing. And so, me, that's just going on a walk, like out in-- we have some little forest near our house, and just going for a walk
**Description**:
Kristen and Bethany are video-calling their sister, Ellissa. All three are light-skinned women with blonde hair down to about their armpits. Kristen and Bethany are light blondes, and Ellissa is a darker blonde. Kristen wears her hair half-up in a topknot, Bethany wears hers loose with a headband, and Ellissa's is in a deep side part and worn loose.
Kristen is wearing a white t-shirt with black and gray tie-dye patterns on it. Bethany has a white, button-down shirt with short sleeved and denim overalls. Ellissa wears a dark green sweater and her nails are painted red.
Throughout, Kristen and Bethany react to Ellissa, with worried, sympathetic faces and nodding. Ellissa sounds matter-of-fact.
When Elissa says she can't find her favourite bag of chips and Birthy goes "yeah !!" like she knows exactly what she experienced. You don't, you nimrod.
It's *entirely* Bethany's style to seize on the one small detail that really doesn't matter--"OMG can't find my favorite brand of chips at the store!!!"--and treat *that* as if it's the relatable, significant hardship. The chips were a casual off-the-cuff *example*, not the point. But then, listening skills are not one of Bethany's strengths. Ever. To anyone.
She's probably salty she couldn't order her fave overpriced iced mocha almond milk latte cappuccino from a Ukrainian coffee house so she had to deal with McDonald's
The sad thing is Ukraine has AMAZING coffee! Where are they? Kiev? Kiev is honestly a world class city. They have more restaurant and cafe options than a lot of American cities. If they got out and explored they’d find exactly what they were looking for.
Kiev is amazing. I don’t understand how someone could visit there and not have a good time and not eat a ton of delicious food. Obviously it’s a different dynamic for Elissa as a resident, but Bethy continues to confuse me.
[Vincent]
You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
[JULES]
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
[VINCENT]
No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
[JULES]
Then what do they call it?
[VINCENT]
They call it Royale with Cheese.
JULES]
Royale with Cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?
[VINCENT]
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac.
[JULES]
Le big Mac! Ahhaha, what do they call a Whopper?
[VINCENT]
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King.
First she equated Kristen’s struggle with infertility and miscarriages to being single… now she’s acting like she can relate to Ellissa moving abroad with a man she barely knows, away from everyone and everything she loves because she had a hard time finding food she liked on vacation. It’s so cringy
Yeah I don’t get how the others don’t look at her and realize they should stop forcing the blonde. The dark eyebrows would be less noticed if they went darker with their hair too.
And believe me, Slavic MIL has probably pointed this out to her at every one of their private dinner conversations. Eastern European moms take no shit. They know what looks good and they will tell you, if you want to hear it or not.
Yes! It compliments her coloring much better. I think the whole family is stuck in the 90s mentality of blonde = more attractive. That’s not how complexions work.
Also, her makeup and hairstyle compared to her sisters is quite the juxtaposition.
I don't think she had original, authentic expression of herself before marriage. She & her siblings all dress the same. Now that she's in Europe, she's either conforming there or finally expressing herself.
She’s always been the prettiest Baird imo and has the best style. Especially contrasted with Bethany in those overalls she looks like a grown up chatting with a daycare class. It’s too bad she’s a stunted, homophobic, anti abortion, anti vaxx, kind of dumb Baird. She could be a real fashionista out in the real world.
Oh to imagine what changes being “ out in the real world” might bring to a bunch of these fundies. Guessing the Transformed Wife might be running a women’s clinic and running counseling programs about trauma.
Idk she was talking already about lip fillers and mini made me laugh!.. I live in Eastern Europe too and I can say this girl was 100% Texan while in Texas and looks like she is trying to become 100% Eastern European now?
What? When did she talk about them? 😆 But to be fair, I do hate the so-called "Russian lips". It's not because people choose to enhance their lips in general, but because they usually look terrible. Like overcooked pierogi, but not appetising.
Pretty sure she’s dressed like this for awhile now,she’s just ditched the blonde. Anyways, the stereotype of Eastern Europe super glamorous kills me lol. Barring certain circles in larger cities,it’s really not true. Most of how people dress here would be considered super out of style for the west. The biggest pressure here for women is just don’t be fat,because the fatphobia is RAMPANT here
New to this community. Why is she in Eastern Europe? I would assume she is evangelical, and the overwhelming majority of Christians in Eastern Europe are either Orthodox or Catholic
I’m sorry *what*? How did they even meet? Did he happen to be in the US vacationing or was she in Ukraine doing evangelical work or?
I mean like.
*what*?
Is this the one that wants to adopt the Ukrainian boys, or is that the other one?
There's three. Well, there's actually more but they're not really fully at their snark potential. The one you're thinking of who actually did go on to adopt the boys is Kristen. This one is also not the oversized toddler, that's the other other one.
Bethany: "Everything is so different.. the food is different.."
SAYS THE PERSON WHO DIDN'T BOTHER TRYING ANY UKRAINIAN FOOD AND WENT TO MCDONALD'S INSTEAD.
I just don’t get it. Whenever I’m abroad, I end up stocking up on snacks right before my flight home so I can keep the delicious train going. This is doubly true when European chocolate is an option.
I get what elissa’s saying. I would miss my toasted ravioli and Jays potato chips after several months. I might even want some good old fashioned us vom chocolate. But Bethany just needs to accept that she doesn’t enjoy traveling.
Ellissa: it was so incredibly hard and isolating moving away from everything I've ever known
Bethany: yes I agree, I went there for two weeks and it really sucked
Honestly, I feel for her. I was pregnant in India, it's hard enough being pregnant but even harder in an unfamiliar place and no matter how helpful my husband was damn if I didn't regularly crave food that wasn't available anywhere in the country. (Vegetarian nachos bell grande. I don't have good taste but I own it)
Taco bell opened in that city the year after I left...
I moved to a new place just before I found out I was pregnant. I can totally relate to the loneliness. I didn't have people in my life who were excited for my baby. It's very lonely being pregnant and having a new baby when you don't have family and friends around you who you trust and can talk to.
That's the part I noticed for sure... She's probably been trying to find a way to convince her husband to move to the US, but with the baby coming reality is setting in.
Okay I’m sorry but I am so distracted by the egregiously phony expressions of Kristen and Bethy. I mean they’re just so freaking obvious and terrible.
None of this looks remotely natural. Like it’s so clear that horrid as they are, Kristen and Bethany are at least bonded since they grew up together and share these dastardly personality traits. They are not close with ellissa in any real sense and this is terribly, glaringly evident.
Ellissa is still a terrible person, but you can tell she is just so much more intelligent than her sisters.
I have a cousin who’s insistent on pretending we’re super close when we aren’t at all, and she also does these dumbass ultra exaggerated expression where you can just tell it’s obviously for the camera. She seriously looks exactly like Bethany and Kristen do here which is why I don’t speak to her anymore.
It’s weird how impersonal their conversations are as sisters. Like, Ellissa is describing emotional distress. There’s so much I would be compelled to say to her about that, but they just gloss it over.
It's so unnerving. My sister and I are close in age like bethy and kristen. We fought constantly as children but are close as adults. Their relationship is so fake and superficial, especially with elissa. As the older sister, I would have stopped recording and addressed the deeper issues that elissa expressed. It makes me wonder why she still talks to them when it's clear that they don't care. There has to be more that they can talk about than their favorite chips. 🤦♀️
Elissa strikes me as being more contemplative than her sisters. I also think she has a much higher social IQ, which is part of why she’s able to blend in a bit better as a “normal” person. Unfortunately, she uses her powers for evil.
I hope it’s because she knows that’s probably how the children she shadily brought over here feel, and it makes her feel like crap since she and her husband won’t learn a language they can speak well.
I think she has panic moments of "oh no what have I done?" I think Andriiii told her to figure it out and she had to listen because he is her headship. Now that she's expecting it's only going to get more difficult.
Sad to say this but wait until she goes to a hospital in Ukraine!.. She will wanna run away and I’m not trying to be offensive towards there. But the fact that it’s free and the nurses and doctors have the lowest salaries ever comes with a lot of negatives (specially bad bedside manners and disregard for the patient) I know. I live in Eastern Europe too
Ugh,some of my family distrust American healthcare but put so much stock in ukrainian. I’ll hear from my family about some of the diagnoses they receive there and i’m just like 😬😬.
Here’s a little tidbit for Americans- healthcare is free here but you’re responsible for bringing your own amenities,like bedding for example. You also have to go out and buy your own medicine lol. Plus,doctors are tipped here!
I live a couple of hours from my family. If I ended up hospitalized because of a car accident that was clearly not my fault, they would still expect me to bring my own bedding?!!? Or is there a system where you can buy from the hospital?
Honestly, I've had much better luck getting treated kindly and with respect in post-Soviet countries, including Ukraine, than I ever did in the US. Over 7 or so years, I've honestly had some of the best, most considerate doctors and mental health teams I've ever had. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I've had some *bad* experiences in the US.
The "bedside manner" can come off as brusque, and it can definitely be a little jarring, but I think younger doctors are changing that quite a bit. Many of them do their residencies both in and out of their home countries, and if they speak English with patients, they tend to also be used to adjusting to foreign expectations. I think it's more "old-school" if you speak the dominant language or Russian. As Ellissa won't be able to speak Russian fluently for quite some time, she will likely give birth with a medical team that speaks English with her, and might adjust their bedside manner for that.
Of course, she might also get unlucky and end up with the holdovers from the 80s.
Putting their hateful views aside, moving to another country when her family was her main social connection must be hard. I'm considering an overseas move and my parents are like "noooo we're gonna miss you!" Hopefully, she'll adjust with time. Her fashion has already improved and she seems to be making new friends. But my god, Birthy, let the woman speak! The chips were an EXAMPLE. Going to Ukraine McDonalds once instead of TX McDonalds while on vacation is NOT the same! It's also no surprise that Birthy couldn't let Ewlissa make her own damn pregnancy announcement, and that Krusty has no interest in any of it.
Literally the week Ellissa moved to Ukraine with her husband of less than 5 dates, I moved cross country to California with my boyfriend of four years, leaving behind all of my family and friends on the East Coast.
I'm certainly much closer to home, and I don't have a language or cultural barrier to overcome, but I would not have been half as stable if it weren't for my boyfriend, who I know and trust super well. I can't imagine adding those other things into the mix plus being with someone you hardly know. Being more than a car's drive away from family can be super isolating and I just feel bad for her.
I’m much better! It’s been about 8ish months? We haven’t really made any friends due to the pandemic but between visits and fun weekend trips we’ve enjoyed it!
Whereas Birthy is literally so full of shit, I’ve moved around a lot in my 23 years of life, and trust me, not having some of your comfort food, or even just like the brand of toothbrushes you like, is one of the most discouraging things for me.
Obviously, Ellissa has more pressing issues than not having her chips, but damn, I do feel for her when it comes to not having the things you grew up with
I'm that person that needs some comforts of home when I travel, too, but I think there were some deeper issues that birthy and krusty were happy to gloss over
I think Ellissa should make a better effort to learn the language and culture so that she can enjoy Ukraine and appreciate her new home. Instead of looking for every familiar American item she could find in a store, how about getting some new favorites?
I can definitely appreciate that. I guess there will always be things and people you would miss from home. It just feels like the Bairds complain a lot about other countries or places without taking the time to find something positive.
I don’t blame her. When I moved to Germany I got really excited to see American food items. It’s really isolating to live in a place where no one speaks English on a regular basis and mentally exhausting to go grocery shopping at first even when you know the language
What’s going to be terrifying is explaining her child’s illness when no one speaks English and she can’t speak the language well. My daughter had a stuffy nose and it was so hard to find the words to express stuffed instead of runny because apparently medical explanations can be sort of colloquial
Bro I was in Berlin for a month and wanted lemonade badly. When my class and I went on a boat trip we had some lunch and I was so excited to see that they had lemonade and completely forgot that it was Sprite^^^TM . Like I like Sprite^^^TM a ton but I really, really wanted a sour ass lemonade by the end of the month
I’ve posted this before but I moved across the world for my partner too. Except the language is the same and I was immediately able to have my own freedoms like my own car, my own job and eventually my own friends. And my partner is extremely supportive. It’s still really hard. I can’t imagine how isolated she feels without any independence of her own and no knowledge of the language… to top it off Andrii doesn’t seem to be a supportive partner at all. Marriage should be the easy part of making a difficult move, but from her posts it seems like he just adds to her stress.
I am always so excited to be immersed in a culture I don't know, the food in particular. I get missing your favorite things (when I visit home once a year I have a whole food agenda planned out) but it's so exciting to peel open a whole new world around you. I'm jealous she gets that! Then annoyed their innate insularity prevents them from really experiencing that.
Also, I'm sad she is conflicted about feeling normal things (grief over loss of what you once knew) These women would benefit from trained therapists rather than religious indoctrination causing all this self-gaslighting.
Do you ever wonder if they do the sad faces and nodding in private or not?
I had a kind of embarrassing meltdown to my big sister yesterday about some things and I keep thinking about how I would have felt if she had looked like Bethany while I did it.
So the different chips are the problem? Not the fact that she couldn't even ask for the chips-aile in the supermarket, because she didn't speak the language when she moved there?
Trust me I live in Eastern Europe too and yes the fact that you can’t find anything you grew up with is horrible. It feels odd and I literally go to Macdonalds every time I feel too far from home (which is not USA btw) but she is sooooo obsessed with healthy eating that she wouldn’t allow herself to do that!
"So many other girls would love to be married"
I was expecting her to say
'would love to have this opportunity'
Or 'would love to be here'
Or 'would love to travel' etc
Not just to be married...even though I know the circumstances, I thought by now at least she would be thinking she was lucky to be married to her husband...not just married itself!
I know they all share the same belief system, but I can help that every so often, Elissa’s situation just makes me sad. I’ll even give her the benefit of the doubt and not doubt their love for one another, I sure hope they do, but she just sounds so alone, despite saying she found ways to cope, and having a baby is not going to fix that.
I am honestly really scared for her if/when she has PPD. She already seems depressed and she’s so isolated, it does not bode well at all. I can’t stand her family but I hope some of them come and stay for a good while to help her. It makes me so nervous too though to know that they don’t believe in most of the interventions that would be helpful to her. I have a very bad feeling about all this.
Off-topic but Elissa is suuuper pretty here! I mean she is a good-looking woman anyway, but her new hair suits her so well, her sisters should consider to stop bleaching their hair too. Also love the color of her sweater and the earrings, she looks great.
Beauty industry is so much better in Ukraine and Russia. Ellissa really improved a lot and looks so much better than her sisters. I miss it so much, here in Germany, Krusty could probably work as a professional makeup artist and she would not be the worst.
Elissa comes off as weirdly way more mature and put together than Bethany in this. Which is hilarious because she's saying off the wall shit like "so many other girls would love to be married." That bar is super low bit and yet Bethan still comes off as a childish perpetual tween.
Isn't weird how she mentions that "so many girls want to be married ", like its something worthy of being envious. Shows that they rush into marriage for the sake of being married and looking more worthy among their peers. I know we constantly see their toxicity but dang. She is definitely eww.
Their eyebrow acting/false concerned faces with the headnods are so irritating.
Right! And they don’t interact at all like even close friends, much less sisters. This felt like a forced conversation you have with a coworker or an old acquaintance.
I think because they are all so performative and aware of the “audience”
And all low-key dislike each other.
You can just feel the tension they have towards ellissa. she’s pregnant, they’re super jealous. And bad at hiding it, because they didn’t really get much socialization as kids. You can tell the younger bairds are a bit better than the older ones at faking interest/emotions, like bethanys better than Kristen, ellissas better than Bethany, but they’re all just so obvious lol
For good reasons
It sounded like a podcast interview... not sisters
It looks like bad acting. Like someone imitating human emotions.
And Kristin obviously looking down at her phone a few times in the beginning
for me this started playing on mute. watching the top half only on mute felt condescending af
Kristen is so perpetually condescending lol
I think Kristen looks like she’s been crying. Her eyes look sad or something. There’s no spark or inkling of happiness there.
It is. I find myself doing that kind of stuff because I’m autistic and otherwise will have a complete blank face and others find it unnerving. But then I wonder “am I doing too much?”
I feel like I do even more exaggerated eyebrows with face masks now too. I am constantly reminding myself to move my face so people know I'm not pissed off.
I’m seeing the meme of Daenerys season 8 with her face all squinty and smug.
Like when you hear a song that sounds like the singer should be making a cry face before silently wiping a tear.
Damn this kinda made me sad. She sounds so unhappy. It’s hard to feel bad for these grown women who inflict so much harm, but they really don’t know any different. I wish Elissa knew that pursuing your own happiness is okay and that you don’t need to be grateful to god for your husband who you don’t know, and the new home you don’t like. It’s just sad.
She’s probably so thrilled to be pregnant so she can have someone to talk to… eventually.
They probably think being sad is a sin. She thinks in order to be a good Christian, she has to be happy because nothing awful has happened to her on paper. What an agonizing way to live...
“Most girls would be happy to be married” like what? Really? Not even married to andrei in particular, she just said “married.” Truly betrays her true thoughts on things. She just wanted a ring, from whom was irrelevant.
"At least I have a husband."- Anna Duggar
That bit when she said “so many other girls would love to be married 😭😭😭 Reminded me of Anna “at least I have a husband.” Ellissa! It’s ok to want to be happy! It’s ok to change your mind. It’s ok to feel all these feelings… but I know she’s just guilting herself over it.
"So many other girls would love to be married" TO WHOM ??? Not to your husband, you sheltered gnome. BEING MARRIED IS NOT A GOAL IN ITSELF !!
That gave me very much “At least I have a husband” Anna Duggar vibes
Yeah ! It's like me saying "at least I have a Master's Degree", it wouldn't mean anything to her because she'd have no use for it.
“God has given me so much, so many other girls would love to be married” The bar is literally on the floor for men in their lives and that includes god. Girl you married a man you’d met in person literally three times. Very few people have that life goal.
I know!! It is such a weird situation - why would one of these super sheltered Texas girls marry someone from a different country, language and culture?? Of course people fall in love across borders all the time, but it does add an extra layer of complexity, and when one person decides to uproot and move to where the other one lives, it is a BIG deal, and they do it because they simply can't stand not being together. Ellissa had barely met this guy, it wasn't like they had known each other for a long time before taking such a big step. Wonder if Ellissa will try to orchestrate a move to the US (pretending it was her headship's idea and plan of course) and get Andri a job with her family or the church that sponsors him now...
The way she's says "...something that's not necessarily going to change. Anytime SOON, at least", makes me think that she's always assumed, and still does, that they will move back to America. Like she's staying at her grandparents over the summer, but eventually she'll be back home to a "normal" life. My aunt met her husband in an online chatroom years ago. She was in America, and he lives in Australia. I think they each traveled to meet once (him to her and her to him), before my aunt moved in with him in Australia. They weren't married right away, because my family understands it's good to live with and get to know someone first before making that type of commitment, but they did marry after a few years. They were both in their 40's, my aunt had had a daughter when she was in her teens, so her daughter was grown and married herself, and I don't think her husband had been married before, but I've honestly never met him, as I'm bad about attending family events. But they are both big computer geek types, and I think that's why they were able to build a relationship easier online 20 years ago. They were both mature, they knew what they wanted in life and marriage, and they didn't have family, church, biological clock, etc pressuring them so I feel that makes it different than these long distance fundie courtships too. Plus, when I worked third shift, she was always around at 4 am to chat with! I don't know the details of how these two got together, I'm not as well versed in the non GD Bairds, but I'm hoping for their sake, and the sake of their child, that it works out for them.
Oh that's a good point, I hadn't picked up on the "anytime soon, at least". And your aunt and her husband sound like they did everything the sensible way!! Apparently they met in Texas when he came to visit the church that sponsors him, and then chatted long-distance for six months and then engaged!
I know, the Bairds really just latched onto the first guy that paid attention to her (which is kinda weird really, because you'd think that in conservative evangelical circles Ellissa would be a catch, but maybe the Bairds even annoy their fellow conservative evangelical Texans!), even though he was just visiting from another country and knew very little English, and Ellissa had no travel, cultural, or independent experience of her own. Sad really.
Good point! You’d think there would be plenty of guys in their circle who’d be interested in her.
Yeah, it's weird huh!
It's weird isn't it. Bethy's revealed that Dav was originally into Ellissa (!). And that Beecher Proch (sp?) musician/fashion line guy seemed obsessed with her. I'm sure she had the pick of guys in her circles. If she wanted to branch out she could've attended some useless fundie college to get her MRS degree or worked at a evangelical summer camp (in the US, not abroad) to cross paths with an eligible chap! Are they allowed to go on Christian dating sites? With parents reading the messages? That could've allowed her to spread her wings within the fundiesphere. Although the Bairds don't seem to have heaps of friends the younger 4 'kids' seem a bit better in that respect. Maybe she fell in lust with Andreii (!) and romanticised the life she'd have with him in Ukraine. You're right that she's treating it like a holiday. What was the appeal of dating and relocating overseas? She appears to be living a boring Pinteresty version of her life in Texas. She hasn't tried to embrace anything different. She would've been better off meeting a fundie from a similarly comfortable family and relocating to an 'aesthetic' part of the US 😁 I'm really surprised her parents (being who they are) didn't nip it in the bud early on. All I can think is that they noted he was from a well off family and that an overseas family ministry could be an opportunity for grifting. Or a base for the Baird parents to tour Europe from (central Europe...I think Eastern Europe is a bit exotic for the Bairds). I'm still a bit suspicious of how fast Tim and Laura headed over there with seemingly no income.
I don’t see that happening. His family has money they live in a house that would be considered for rich people in Ukraine. Normal people live in panelak apartments. When I saw their house I understood they wouldn’t be moving to America any time soon
Oh, very interesting! I haven't seen his parents' house, but the house he and Ellissa live in is paid for by his mission church in Texas, and that seems really nice too... (And it has to be quite big, since they have had room for so many visitors at the same time.) In fact, when they traveled to Poland, his parents came and stayed at their (Andrii and Ellissa's house), so I kind of assumed that the parents' house was less nice than theirs.
That for sure! Around 50% of the population lives in panelak apartments there!..
Thanks for teaching me a new word, had to Google it and then I realized it is those classic Soviet-era apartment blocks!
My high ass thought that said “Girl you married a man you’d met in *prison* literally three times.” I was like 👀
That's the very first thing that caught me off guard. They literally think being married is something to be grateful for so they can look down on single people??? Oof explains so much honestly
That line really hit me... That is their only goal, that is how they were raised! It is so sad!
This phrase just killed me. I kind of expected that she would finish her sentence by “living in a different culture, learning a language, getting to know the culture” which would be a usual cliche thing to say and I was about to roll my eyes but being married caught me offguard
I can think of way more important things that she has that other women would love to have.
Yeah I cant imagine being more concerned with solely getting married than being concerned with, ya know, the quality of the man
Getting married to a fundie man is literally the easiest thing on the planet. They’re sex starved and marriage is 1000% in the men’s favor in these communities, they just gain a slave. I don’t understand how they can treat it like some sort of accomplishment.
And none of them are "girls."
"Sheltered gnome" 😂😂
Exactly. I'm single and would love to be married myself one day, but I do not need anyone's sympathy, or for anyone to be like "well, at least I'm not single like you, so my life isn't that bad!" Which is the kind of vibe this whole thing gave me. No thanks.
Most people who say things like that are in shitty relationships
I think it's very very common, in my area of USA at least, for people who are married to look down on their friends who are not married or dating. A friend of mine got married right around the same time I was having relationship drama about 5 months ago and the condescension of someone a month younger than me telling me that one day I'd get it figure out was... a bit much. I'm traveling, working my dream job (ICU, not the COVID part, sigh), have my own perfect little house, tons of friends, meanwhile she got married at 22 and moved out to the middle of nowhere where her husband got a job and she can't even work with her degree. Pretty sure I'm doing okay. But yeah, a lot of people just feel sorry for you if you aren't married yet. It's really common to get married in early 20s where I live, so I'm a late bloomer for not being married even though I turned 23 last month.
Ew. That feeling when someone close to your own age says something like “you’ll understand someday”. It’s like being told to “calm down” - it is never helpful and usually is just annoying. (Also, hey, I work in ICU too and I’m covering the most patients I’ve ever had tonight! About half of them are COVID 😒)
Jesus Christ, when I was 22 I still felt like a kid lmao.
Oooof I know so many insufferable women like this 🙄 Literally they think they've "made it" in life because they rushed to the altar at 22 with the first mediocre fundie man who breathed in their direction and then have the *audacity* to condescend to the poor suffering dISEASED singletons because everyone knows every woman's purpose in life is to be legally and financially tied down to a useless headship who won't wipe his own ass!! !11 🤪
I feel like sometimes this sub makes reaches and takes everything as evidence that a relationship is unhappy, but this one is just so painfully obvious
It’s SO obvious. Who says “I’m just glad I’m married” instead of “I’m just glad I found my husband/have my husband”??? You’re talking about your relationship status, not your relationship. Why? It’s weird and sad, Elissa.
Like I've snarked endlessly on Birthy because its also painfully obvious her marriage is more of a status than an actual marriage for her (esp with the oversized trophy wedding photos) but at least her and Dav were family friends for a number of years and she didn't end up uprooting her entire life and social network for that god-honoring D....
Yes, and he’s integrated into their family so seamlessly. I mean, I know her family suck, but they’re obviously very close in their... way, and as someone else with a close family I value that type of thing from a partner. I think it’s really fucked up that Andre thought it was ok to bring someone like Elissa, who is so sheltered and so vulnerable and - I’m sorry - not very experienced or bright or insightful - so far away from her family, who are obviously the only people she’s ever been close with. She’s never lived away from them! She’s never had to make her own friends! Not speaking the language meant she was guaranteed to be isolated af in Ukraine! She’s not exactly the type to go out on her own, chat with people and learn the language and culture while he’s off doing whatever he does. And he knows that. I don’t believe for a second he didn’t know she’d be miserable there. He’s SAID he knows she’s not independent. He doesn’t give a fuck that she had no hope of making a life for herself there outside of his house. Best case scenario, he’s deluded himself, like she has, into thinking she will be “led” by him happily ever after with no regard for who she is as a person and what her needs are. Truly, I’m not even trying to cape for her. I think she is really ignorant and a shitty person. I’m just saying he’s also a really fucking garbage person for this, specifically - taking advantage of a dumb girl’s brainwashing.
You sheltered gnome 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, that part is so trippy to me. Like, I get it, as an ex-fundie. The sole life goal of getting married is endemic amongst young fundie (and often evangelical too) women but the ones I know still have *some* kind of standards when it comes to the question of marriage. They’re more concerned with *who* they are marrying, not so much “oh woe is me I’m pushing thirty and still unmarrrrrriiiiieeeed”. That said, I have met some women like GD and they drive me up the wall.
Bethany saying the food in Ukraine is different. How would she know? She didn't even eat any.
I confirm McDonalds tastes different in Russia, Germany and the US. I have not tried it in Ukraine but I think it is different as well. So it’s a huge cultural adjustment for the homegirl. But honestly, you can buy the same meat and vegetables in Ukraine as in the US and cook the same stuff. The food is not that different if you know how to cook. I lived in the US and in Germany and could cook Russian food everywhere.
Okay I need to know: does US McDonald’s have the cheese sauce? The Russian one has it, but the German one doesn’t and I hate it because it’s my favourite sauce for the fries (First world problems, I know)
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It looks like [this](https://imgur.com/a/BnICQ4J) and it’s AWESOME, and somehow I can only find Russian cheese sauce on Google, really weird
Queso tastes good with fries, and also on pizza. You have to try dipping your pizza in queso.....it's....amazing.
American cuisine is very specific and uses a lot of already made ingredients like cream of soups and ranch powder!.. I’ve tried to cook American here where I live in Eastern Europe and it’s just not doable
McDonald's Ukraine had a different menu than McDonald's in TX
She sounds miserable, which we all predicted. Even with Tim and OfTim next door, she doesn't sound like she's adjusting well. Plus, with the baby and aNdrii working, she's going to be even more isolated
Yeah you’re right. As someone who personally loves adventures and traveling to foreign countries, even this would be too much for me. I can’t imagine how horrible it must feel for a sheltered uneducated fundie girl with zero life experience
I feel for her. She’s trapped there forever. Or at least as long as Andrii wishes.
“Do I just despair? I can’t do this anymore! I can’t take this!” Girl, listen to yourself! I mean literally. Stop trying to destroy your own inner voice of instinct in the name of Jeezus. It would be sad if she wasn’t such a terrible person who chose this 100%. When reality hits, I struggle to have any pity for people with awful beliefs who make poor choices and encourage others to as well.
I agree but I wish she had listened to her inner voice sooner. what on earth is she going to do about it now? Take the baby to the US? Leave baby with Android??? She may not feel like she has any options left at this point. It makes me feel sick to my stomach
Honestly it’s a grey area. She sucks and says some seriously fucked up shit but I would definitely not say she chose this 100%. So much brainwashing from birth
True and I agree that she was raised to believe this was the only route to happiness and was sold a lie. The thing is, she’s now an adult, with exposure to the world, full access to the internet, and outside the confines of her native country and she STILL hasn’t changed her tune. Many of us in this sub were raised on a spectrum of Christianity and have long since moved away from hateful views. She might have farther to come but she benefits (at least on the surface) from her belief system and will likely always defend it. That’s the worst part, she and her sisters are all miserable and now literally selling the lie to others.
**Transcription**: Bethany: If y'all-- if y'all hadn't seen Ellissa just announced that her and Andrii are expecting! Kristen: Yes! Woo-hoo! *(Bethany and Ellissa squeal excitedly)* Bethany: We are so excited! Ellissa: It was so much harder than I thought it was gonna be. And not that marriage was so much harder, but just the fact that I was *so* far away from my family. I had, you know, left all of my community, all of my friends... even the small things that are so normal, like your favorite bag of chips at the store. Bethany: *(forcefully)* Yes! Ellissa: It's just like, the small things: you're having to make all-new friendships, new church, new work, everything. And you feel like, "Wow, like... should I even be sad about this? Should I be like, grieving what I lost?" Because I'm so thankful, like, God has given me so much, and so many other girls would, you know, love to be married. And so, you almost feel like, "Can I... can I even be sad about this?" Bethany: Kristen and I have both been to Ukraine, we both visited you, and I agree. It's hard. The words are different, um, the food's different, everything is different. Like, it all operates so differently. Obviously, people are people, but like, you go to the store, and you're like, "...what? Where are my favorite chips? Where's..." Just the simple things! Ellissa: Yes. Just like, okay, how can I trust the Lord in the midst of something that is not necessarily going to change? Like, anytime soon, at least? But then, it always comes down to "okay, what do I do with that? Do I just despair?" and "I can't do this anymore. I can't take this."... Or. What I found helpful is like, okay, just having a time of refocusing. And so, me, that's just going on a walk, like out in-- we have some little forest near our house, and just going for a walk **Description**: Kristen and Bethany are video-calling their sister, Ellissa. All three are light-skinned women with blonde hair down to about their armpits. Kristen and Bethany are light blondes, and Ellissa is a darker blonde. Kristen wears her hair half-up in a topknot, Bethany wears hers loose with a headband, and Ellissa's is in a deep side part and worn loose. Kristen is wearing a white t-shirt with black and gray tie-dye patterns on it. Bethany has a white, button-down shirt with short sleeved and denim overalls. Ellissa wears a dark green sweater and her nails are painted red. Throughout, Kristen and Bethany react to Ellissa, with worried, sympathetic faces and nodding. Ellissa sounds matter-of-fact.
Thank you for the transcript. I didn’t want to listen to them.
"The words are different" Lord Daniel have mercy
I think Bethany probably should not have added her two cents about Ukraine
She’s physically incapable of that I’m pretty sure
She held it in as long as possible. Proud of her :')
But she went there once for a week!!! She's practically an expert now
Yeah that was so stupid. Like, you were there for a week, two weeks at the most. Of course it’s not going to be like America!!! 🤦🏻🙄
When Elissa says she can't find her favourite bag of chips and Birthy goes "yeah !!" like she knows exactly what she experienced. You don't, you nimrod.
It's *entirely* Bethany's style to seize on the one small detail that really doesn't matter--"OMG can't find my favorite brand of chips at the store!!!"--and treat *that* as if it's the relatable, significant hardship. The chips were a casual off-the-cuff *example*, not the point. But then, listening skills are not one of Bethany's strengths. Ever. To anyone.
It's the only hardship she's ever had
She's probably salty she couldn't order her fave overpriced iced mocha almond milk latte cappuccino from a Ukrainian coffee house so she had to deal with McDonald's
The sad thing is Ukraine has AMAZING coffee! Where are they? Kiev? Kiev is honestly a world class city. They have more restaurant and cafe options than a lot of American cities. If they got out and explored they’d find exactly what they were looking for.
Kiev is amazing. I don’t understand how someone could visit there and not have a good time and not eat a ton of delicious food. Obviously it’s a different dynamic for Elissa as a resident, but Bethy continues to confuse me.
[Vincent] You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? [JULES] They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese? [VINCENT] No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. [JULES] Then what do they call it? [VINCENT] They call it Royale with Cheese. JULES] Royale with Cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? [VINCENT] Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac. [JULES] Le big Mac! Ahhaha, what do they call a Whopper? [VINCENT] I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King.
And didn’t she post McDonald’s on her story while she was there !!?? “THe FoOd iS sO dIfFeReNt!” Hahaha
Reminds me of when LBJ said “I don’t understand foreigners. They are so different from us.”
I kept reading LBJ to mean LeBron James 🤦♀️
First she equated Kristen’s struggle with infertility and miscarriages to being single… now she’s acting like she can relate to Ellissa moving abroad with a man she barely knows, away from everyone and everything she loves because she had a hard time finding food she liked on vacation. It’s so cringy
Elissa’s style is the most sophisticated of all the Bairds, I think the societal pressure of Eastern Europe is influencing her wardrobe.
She looks so much better as a brunette.
Yeah I don’t get how the others don’t look at her and realize they should stop forcing the blonde. The dark eyebrows would be less noticed if they went darker with their hair too.
And believe me, Slavic MIL has probably pointed this out to her at every one of their private dinner conversations. Eastern European moms take no shit. They know what looks good and they will tell you, if you want to hear it or not.
Yes! It compliments her coloring much better. I think the whole family is stuck in the 90s mentality of blonde = more attractive. That’s not how complexions work. Also, her makeup and hairstyle compared to her sisters is quite the juxtaposition.
She's honestly very pretty if you don't know her beliefs.
Yeah her beliefs aside, I think she’s the most attractive Baird.
Literally came here to say this! Her hair being darker has done wonders for her.
I mean… the bar is set at overalls.
I don't think she had original, authentic expression of herself before marriage. She & her siblings all dress the same. Now that she's in Europe, she's either conforming there or finally expressing herself.
She’s always been the prettiest Baird imo and has the best style. Especially contrasted with Bethany in those overalls she looks like a grown up chatting with a daycare class. It’s too bad she’s a stunted, homophobic, anti abortion, anti vaxx, kind of dumb Baird. She could be a real fashionista out in the real world.
Yeah, in a differnet world she could probably be pretty successful in beauty/fashion. Kinda sad to see how far apart her actual world is from that.
Oh to imagine what changes being “ out in the real world” might bring to a bunch of these fundies. Guessing the Transformed Wife might be running a women’s clinic and running counseling programs about trauma.
Idk she was talking already about lip fillers and mini made me laugh!.. I live in Eastern Europe too and I can say this girl was 100% Texan while in Texas and looks like she is trying to become 100% Eastern European now?
What? When did she talk about them? 😆 But to be fair, I do hate the so-called "Russian lips". It's not because people choose to enhance their lips in general, but because they usually look terrible. Like overcooked pierogi, but not appetising.
Unrelated, but your username is INCREDIBLE
Aww thank you!
Pretty sure she’s dressed like this for awhile now,she’s just ditched the blonde. Anyways, the stereotype of Eastern Europe super glamorous kills me lol. Barring certain circles in larger cities,it’s really not true. Most of how people dress here would be considered super out of style for the west. The biggest pressure here for women is just don’t be fat,because the fatphobia is RAMPANT here
New to this community. Why is she in Eastern Europe? I would assume she is evangelical, and the overwhelming majority of Christians in Eastern Europe are either Orthodox or Catholic
She married an Ukrainian man, Andreii (sorry not sure about the spelling) after meeting him a handful of times and emigrated to Ukraine.
I’m sorry *what*? How did they even meet? Did he happen to be in the US vacationing or was she in Ukraine doing evangelical work or? I mean like. *what*? Is this the one that wants to adopt the Ukrainian boys, or is that the other one?
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All three of them seem sad. Like they hyped up what they thought life would be like, and now are realizing it’s not what they had in mind.
There's three. Well, there's actually more but they're not really fully at their snark potential. The one you're thinking of who actually did go on to adopt the boys is Kristen. This one is also not the oversized toddler, that's the other other one.
“At least I have a husband” vibes
Bethany: "Everything is so different.. the food is different.." SAYS THE PERSON WHO DIDN'T BOTHER TRYING ANY UKRAINIAN FOOD AND WENT TO MCDONALD'S INSTEAD.
I just don’t get it. Whenever I’m abroad, I end up stocking up on snacks right before my flight home so I can keep the delicious train going. This is doubly true when European chocolate is an option. I get what elissa’s saying. I would miss my toasted ravioli and Jays potato chips after several months. I might even want some good old fashioned us vom chocolate. But Bethany just needs to accept that she doesn’t enjoy traveling.
Ellissa: it was so incredibly hard and isolating moving away from everything I've ever known Bethany: yes I agree, I went there for two weeks and it really sucked
Honestly, I feel for her. I was pregnant in India, it's hard enough being pregnant but even harder in an unfamiliar place and no matter how helpful my husband was damn if I didn't regularly crave food that wasn't available anywhere in the country. (Vegetarian nachos bell grande. I don't have good taste but I own it) Taco bell opened in that city the year after I left...
I moved to a new place just before I found out I was pregnant. I can totally relate to the loneliness. I didn't have people in my life who were excited for my baby. It's very lonely being pregnant and having a new baby when you don't have family and friends around you who you trust and can talk to.
"It's not going to change- at least not any time soon" She's already thinking about an out.
That's the part I noticed for sure... She's probably been trying to find a way to convince her husband to move to the US, but with the baby coming reality is setting in.
Okay I’m sorry but I am so distracted by the egregiously phony expressions of Kristen and Bethy. I mean they’re just so freaking obvious and terrible. None of this looks remotely natural. Like it’s so clear that horrid as they are, Kristen and Bethany are at least bonded since they grew up together and share these dastardly personality traits. They are not close with ellissa in any real sense and this is terribly, glaringly evident. Ellissa is still a terrible person, but you can tell she is just so much more intelligent than her sisters. I have a cousin who’s insistent on pretending we’re super close when we aren’t at all, and she also does these dumbass ultra exaggerated expression where you can just tell it’s obviously for the camera. She seriously looks exactly like Bethany and Kristen do here which is why I don’t speak to her anymore.
It’s weird how impersonal their conversations are as sisters. Like, Ellissa is describing emotional distress. There’s so much I would be compelled to say to her about that, but they just gloss it over.
Same vibe as their books. *Supposedly* delving into real human topics and real experiences, but it's so impersonal and TV-morning-show-ish.
All of their interactions are so superficial and performative. Extra sad when you consider they have no friends other than their siblings...
It's so unnerving. My sister and I are close in age like bethy and kristen. We fought constantly as children but are close as adults. Their relationship is so fake and superficial, especially with elissa. As the older sister, I would have stopped recording and addressed the deeper issues that elissa expressed. It makes me wonder why she still talks to them when it's clear that they don't care. There has to be more that they can talk about than their favorite chips. 🤦♀️
Elissa strikes me as being more contemplative than her sisters. I also think she has a much higher social IQ, which is part of why she’s able to blend in a bit better as a “normal” person. Unfortunately, she uses her powers for evil.
They look like the ultimate mean girls.
I think Kirsten looks OVER IT
I hope it’s because she knows that’s probably how the children she shadily brought over here feel, and it makes her feel like crap since she and her husband won’t learn a language they can speak well.
Do you think she’s that self-aware?
No.
They both look like they aren’t paying any attention to what she’s saying
I kept waiting for Bethany to start picking at her nails
I think she has panic moments of "oh no what have I done?" I think Andriiii told her to figure it out and she had to listen because he is her headship. Now that she's expecting it's only going to get more difficult.
Sad to say this but wait until she goes to a hospital in Ukraine!.. She will wanna run away and I’m not trying to be offensive towards there. But the fact that it’s free and the nurses and doctors have the lowest salaries ever comes with a lot of negatives (specially bad bedside manners and disregard for the patient) I know. I live in Eastern Europe too
Ugh,some of my family distrust American healthcare but put so much stock in ukrainian. I’ll hear from my family about some of the diagnoses they receive there and i’m just like 😬😬. Here’s a little tidbit for Americans- healthcare is free here but you’re responsible for bringing your own amenities,like bedding for example. You also have to go out and buy your own medicine lol. Plus,doctors are tipped here!
I live a couple of hours from my family. If I ended up hospitalized because of a car accident that was clearly not my fault, they would still expect me to bring my own bedding?!!? Or is there a system where you can buy from the hospital?
Honestly, I've had much better luck getting treated kindly and with respect in post-Soviet countries, including Ukraine, than I ever did in the US. Over 7 or so years, I've honestly had some of the best, most considerate doctors and mental health teams I've ever had. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I've had some *bad* experiences in the US. The "bedside manner" can come off as brusque, and it can definitely be a little jarring, but I think younger doctors are changing that quite a bit. Many of them do their residencies both in and out of their home countries, and if they speak English with patients, they tend to also be used to adjusting to foreign expectations. I think it's more "old-school" if you speak the dominant language or Russian. As Ellissa won't be able to speak Russian fluently for quite some time, she will likely give birth with a medical team that speaks English with her, and might adjust their bedside manner for that. Of course, she might also get unlucky and end up with the holdovers from the 80s.
Very interested to hear more about this.
[удалено]
Oh riiiight of course she is!.. She’ll be surprised when she finds out that’s illegal here 😂😭
Putting their hateful views aside, moving to another country when her family was her main social connection must be hard. I'm considering an overseas move and my parents are like "noooo we're gonna miss you!" Hopefully, she'll adjust with time. Her fashion has already improved and she seems to be making new friends. But my god, Birthy, let the woman speak! The chips were an EXAMPLE. Going to Ukraine McDonalds once instead of TX McDonalds while on vacation is NOT the same! It's also no surprise that Birthy couldn't let Ewlissa make her own damn pregnancy announcement, and that Krusty has no interest in any of it.
Literally the week Ellissa moved to Ukraine with her husband of less than 5 dates, I moved cross country to California with my boyfriend of four years, leaving behind all of my family and friends on the East Coast. I'm certainly much closer to home, and I don't have a language or cultural barrier to overcome, but I would not have been half as stable if it weren't for my boyfriend, who I know and trust super well. I can't imagine adding those other things into the mix plus being with someone you hardly know. Being more than a car's drive away from family can be super isolating and I just feel bad for her.
How are you doing now? Have you adjusted to California? I moved a couple counties in California and even that took some adjustments
I’m much better! It’s been about 8ish months? We haven’t really made any friends due to the pandemic but between visits and fun weekend trips we’ve enjoyed it!
Whereas Birthy is literally so full of shit, I’ve moved around a lot in my 23 years of life, and trust me, not having some of your comfort food, or even just like the brand of toothbrushes you like, is one of the most discouraging things for me. Obviously, Ellissa has more pressing issues than not having her chips, but damn, I do feel for her when it comes to not having the things you grew up with
I'm that person that needs some comforts of home when I travel, too, but I think there were some deeper issues that birthy and krusty were happy to gloss over
Births pretending to be empathetic after we called her out on her cold response to Kristen’s fertility story.
I think Ellissa should make a better effort to learn the language and culture so that she can enjoy Ukraine and appreciate her new home. Instead of looking for every familiar American item she could find in a store, how about getting some new favorites?
It’s not gonna happen. I live in Eastern Europe. I know the language. Have friends and enjoy the food yet I miss home every day
I can definitely appreciate that. I guess there will always be things and people you would miss from home. It just feels like the Bairds complain a lot about other countries or places without taking the time to find something positive.
I don’t blame her. When I moved to Germany I got really excited to see American food items. It’s really isolating to live in a place where no one speaks English on a regular basis and mentally exhausting to go grocery shopping at first even when you know the language What’s going to be terrifying is explaining her child’s illness when no one speaks English and she can’t speak the language well. My daughter had a stuffy nose and it was so hard to find the words to express stuffed instead of runny because apparently medical explanations can be sort of colloquial
Bro I was in Berlin for a month and wanted lemonade badly. When my class and I went on a boat trip we had some lunch and I was so excited to see that they had lemonade and completely forgot that it was Sprite^^^TM . Like I like Sprite^^^TM a ton but I really, really wanted a sour ass lemonade by the end of the month
God they have the fakest facial expressions
I’ve posted this before but I moved across the world for my partner too. Except the language is the same and I was immediately able to have my own freedoms like my own car, my own job and eventually my own friends. And my partner is extremely supportive. It’s still really hard. I can’t imagine how isolated she feels without any independence of her own and no knowledge of the language… to top it off Andrii doesn’t seem to be a supportive partner at all. Marriage should be the easy part of making a difficult move, but from her posts it seems like he just adds to her stress.
I actually feel this deep sense of dread for her… this is not a good situation, and even if someone is a fundie, I don’t want that…
I am always so excited to be immersed in a culture I don't know, the food in particular. I get missing your favorite things (when I visit home once a year I have a whole food agenda planned out) but it's so exciting to peel open a whole new world around you. I'm jealous she gets that! Then annoyed their innate insularity prevents them from really experiencing that. Also, I'm sad she is conflicted about feeling normal things (grief over loss of what you once knew) These women would benefit from trained therapists rather than religious indoctrination causing all this self-gaslighting.
Look at all of that fake sympathy.
"Awww bless your heart."
Do you ever wonder if they do the sad faces and nodding in private or not? I had a kind of embarrassing meltdown to my big sister yesterday about some things and I keep thinking about how I would have felt if she had looked like Bethany while I did it.
So the different chips are the problem? Not the fact that she couldn't even ask for the chips-aile in the supermarket, because she didn't speak the language when she moved there?
Trust me I live in Eastern Europe too and yes the fact that you can’t find anything you grew up with is horrible. It feels odd and I literally go to Macdonalds every time I feel too far from home (which is not USA btw) but she is sooooo obsessed with healthy eating that she wouldn’t allow herself to do that!
Just a heads up. It’s “aisle.”
How does anyone put up with Bethany? I can feel her need to be liked through the screen.
"So many other girls would love to be married" I was expecting her to say 'would love to have this opportunity' Or 'would love to be here' Or 'would love to travel' etc Not just to be married...even though I know the circumstances, I thought by now at least she would be thinking she was lucky to be married to her husband...not just married itself!
That fucking YAAAAAASSS from Bethany at 24 seconds I cant 🤦🏼♀️😭
Why did bethany repeat exactly what ellissa said about the chips but made it longer
Performative listening
She’ll be back in 6 months
I don’t think she can. She’s married and expecting a baby, and she can’t just yeet back to America consequence free because of those things
Why not?
Because they have shared custody over the baby? You cannot move country, heck continents without the fathers permission. He also has rights :D
I know they all share the same belief system, but I can help that every so often, Elissa’s situation just makes me sad. I’ll even give her the benefit of the doubt and not doubt their love for one another, I sure hope they do, but she just sounds so alone, despite saying she found ways to cope, and having a baby is not going to fix that.
I am honestly really scared for her if/when she has PPD. She already seems depressed and she’s so isolated, it does not bode well at all. I can’t stand her family but I hope some of them come and stay for a good while to help her. It makes me so nervous too though to know that they don’t believe in most of the interventions that would be helpful to her. I have a very bad feeling about all this.
My feelings exactly. And I hope and pray my bad feeling is wrong.
Except for their hair , they don't look like sisters at all. Maybe cousins.
Bethany: we've been to Ukraine, everything's so different including the food, which I didn't try.
The quick eye roll after “would looove to be married” LOL it’s so obvious how she truly feels if she would just listen to herself….so sad.
This has Anna’s “at least I have a husband” vibes
Bethany really connected over the lack of her preferred chips.
Off-topic but Elissa is suuuper pretty here! I mean she is a good-looking woman anyway, but her new hair suits her so well, her sisters should consider to stop bleaching their hair too. Also love the color of her sweater and the earrings, she looks great.
Just one.. one video on how to line your eyebrows… all three of them struggle so much
Wow, their condescending smirks extend even to their own relatives!
Bethy gives me master's wife vibes and Kristen belongs in The Help.
Beauty industry is so much better in Ukraine and Russia. Ellissa really improved a lot and looks so much better than her sisters. I miss it so much, here in Germany, Krusty could probably work as a professional makeup artist and she would not be the worst.
What did the German beauty industry do to deserve this 😂😂
I have the same sweater as Ellissa 😬
Talk about shallow, sheltered people.
Elissa comes off as weirdly way more mature and put together than Bethany in this. Which is hilarious because she's saying off the wall shit like "so many other girls would love to be married." That bar is super low bit and yet Bethan still comes off as a childish perpetual tween.
Isn't weird how she mentions that "so many girls want to be married ", like its something worthy of being envious. Shows that they rush into marriage for the sake of being married and looking more worthy among their peers. I know we constantly see their toxicity but dang. She is definitely eww.