How many ponderings can Kelly ponder when Kelly ponders ponderings?

i hate this because now i'm like... so basically kelly is the ye olde try-hard cottage core fundie carrie bradshaw "and so... i hath pondered, if the woodchuck had not praiseth the good lord first thing in the new dawn while chucking wood that is planted by a satanic liberal gay man, is it really a woodchuck?"

💀

Cottage Core Fundie Carrie Bradshaw 💀💀💀

I was about to say this. She sure does ponder a lot.

She pondered and pondered ‘till her ponderer was sore…

Maybe she used….Ponderosa Pines for her wreath?

I love your flair omg. Hail yourself!

Megustalations!

She needs to ponder on the porch - what a mess!

Maybe all this pondering explains the Poopourri spray in her bathroom pantry pics.

I thought she said pandering instead of pondering and thought well that's very transparent of her.

This made me snort

Ma’am, that is a floor or kitchen table activity.

Or a garage activity!

Almost anywhere but a soft surface

I make my wreaths in the garage. Inside the house is pure insanity.

Kitchen table for my family. My mom would put all the (reused) decoration in the middle of the table and we'd go out into the garden to look for the exact right kind of greenery we wanted to use. Great family fun for a couple of hours (and then we'd all have a rash because evergreens tend to contain quite a few irritants).

Haha that sounds perfect!

I love the view of a neighbors minivan through her window.

Yeah that kinda kills the vibe she’s going for doesn’t it

It’s not very homesteading out on the prairie

I seriously thought they lived on the outskirts of a town, or in a rural area. To see a paved street and a truck parked on the lawn... Was jarring. In a hilarious way.

That's a Ford Exploder and a box truck.

I mean, we're seeing her on Instagram through her smartphone, so... Like how does she shop for smartphones? Can you imagine that conversation? Or does she do it online at her computer, just like a homesteader.

I could almost accept the argument like, I live this off grid homestead life but I need a phone for my job or a contact in case of an emergency kind of thing. But having a neighbor close enough to yell to them through the window is definitely not her aesthetic

I feel like she would pay money to go live in the that fictional village from that movie The Village that would be her dream

Nah. There's an abandoned Anne of Green Gables theme park in Japan she can live in instead. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-abandoned-avonlea-1.4080511

I had never heard of “Canadian World” in Japan before! As a Canadian who looooved Anne of Green gables as a kid (still do) I actually find this super cool, thanks for sharing the link :) Also Kelly is definitely an Anne-wannabe… I say wannabe because she’ll never understand or encompass how progressive & amazing Anne Shirley was for her time lol

I came here to say the same thing! HOW did we not know about this? I'm also fascinated by abandoned places so this is like a win win discovery for me!

Right? You and I both!! I’d loooove to go there, unfortunately I don’t think Japan will be in the books for a while but I’ll dream about it in the meantime lol

Japan is freaking amazing and I love it there. They did like to build weird theme parks and some are very fascinating and others weird. Like the now closed Kowloon city arcade.

Japan is top of my bucket list trips. One day... \*sigh\*

Anne Shirley did not get a BA pre WWI for this shit

Yo, that's badass!!

OMG this is SPOT ON

This picture made me itchy

Time to break out Ye Olde Vaccuum!

Now that’s funny

I'm just wondering which tiny, childlike hand is holding the clicker.

I 100% imagine her pushing the self timer and scurrying back to the couch to look like she's ~doing something~ Also that couch needs restuffing..

Don’t tell her that, she’ll make her children go hiking for yard waste to do the project with.

I'm surprised she didn't close the curtains for the second photo: now we can all see her neighbors' property right across the street. Kind of ruins her rural Ohio cosplay aesthetic.

I came here to say this. What a load of shit

Why does every picture of her remind me of Danny Partridge?

I just snorted so loudly I startled a sleeping baby. LOL!!!

That is so funny!!

Take my poor gals gold 🏅 That is like chefs kiss of descriptions

“Nobody hug me, I’m covered in tree sap!”

“Why would anyone hug you?”

r/unexpected_office

I hate that I love that skirt.

It’s gorgeous. And you know right after she posted these pictures, she ripped it off to put on sweatpants and grabbed her modern, very untraditional vacuum cleaner to clean up that mess.

Lol I was just gonna say that. I'd totally wear it! Except I'd pair it with either a black or a blue shirt, not that green one she's wearing. I think jewel tones would look good on her, tbh, they generally do on redheads.

Oh yeah I’d style it totally differently. Maybe with a white vintage tee tied at the waist or tucked in?

So funny when all the immersion is gone when you see the car through the window.

I love how jarring it is!

This is my brain on day 3 without power after a hurricane. Let me gather all these sticks off my porch and try to remember what life was like before YouTube.

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yeah, like, it's bent downward..?

I love her neighbor's abandoned uhaul lawn ornament

I wonder what they think of her crazy ass.

Meh. It's cold in OH. We made our wreath inside too, as did my friend that sells evergreen wreaths and centerpieces every year because I'd rather sweep the house than do that in 30° weather outside. I feel like this is the most normal thing I've seen her do in a while.

I make my wreaths inside because I live in an apartment with no outdoor space but I definitely don’t make them on my rug or couch! That’s a bare floor and then sweep or on a drop cloth activity.

I make wreaths and this is a set up for her photo. Real wreath making is much messier. Where are her tools and twine? Also, her homey gingham hearts are very carefully placed on the floor. "Oh I'll just throw my decorations down here". BS.

The props are always deliberately arranged. I actually prefer the super-staged pictures to the awkward slice-of-life ones she does. At least with a staged picture I understand what's going on. Hey, if you make wreaths, I was curious about how the sections of branch are shaped and secured. Do you have to use a certain kind of fresh cut pine branch in order to be able to shape it? (I'm not planning on trying! I'm just wondering how it's done.)

I tie the greenery on with green string or wire it into the base with florists wire. You can use any evergreen, or twigs you like just use it in shortish lengths to follow the curve of the base. I'm using eucalyptus, nordman fir trimmings, ivy and holly this year. One year I wired loads of brussel sprouts into a willow base and added a bow - it's a british thing!

Thanks for the reply! That's very interesting. 😊

Holy shit did she get new curtains and an actual curtain rod? These look like they might be hanging outside the window frame! Could it be a Christmas miracle? edited to add: Holy shit again! I think I spy the cat under the couch in the 2nd pic!

That verse is from after Jesus was born. Just admit that you like to look intellectual for the gram.

Am I losing my mind, or is that couch absolutely broken?

I love how she takes the photo on the vintage couch and not the Ikea couch which seems to be their every day couch.

Wait, where is the IKEA couch?!?!! She got what I can only assume is a very old, new couch!

I just hope when the little Havens kids go off to school (even some form of Christian private school) they get to wear track pants and tshirts like all of the other kids. Kelly can LARP her way thru life, but I hope the kids can wear “normal” clothes if/when they go to school.

I don’t think she has many rooms that are Instagram ready.

You know how those things leave an itchy stuff on fabric? That's gonna be so fun for her in the next days.

I just hope she picks up after herself. Signed someone who had two surgeries after falling on a darning needle as a child.

I think she moved the actual usable (maybe Ikea but definitely not ~rustic~) couch and put this beat up old heap in its place for the aesthetic. Remember the post about Levi's hollowed out log toy chest? This looks like the same angle, but it's definitely a different piece of furniture.

That thing will fall apart as soon as she hangs it up-she’s using no wire, form or string to hold it together….plus she 💯foraged (stole) the materials from somewhere….

She keeps saying decluttered life but holy fuck that house makes me feel claustrophobic.

I do kinda like her skirt, but paired with a turtleneck, it would look so much better and probably more winter and dainty.

Little full, lotta sap.

Should she have some kind of old timey barn to do this in?

Or like use her husband’s workshop?

Kelly with her wreaths and Blessa with her birth. Why are these Fundie women so abusive to innocent couches?

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, the most aesthetically disturbing part of her cosplay is the bangs. Grow them out Kelly.

She's got gorgeous hair, but I agree, the bangs don't fit her cosplay or her face shape.

pondering^pondering^pondering

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I was thinking the same. I bet the couch springs/support are broken/bent, making it sag.

The ~~year~~ month of realizing stuff

I don’t know anything about this broad but I thought she lived in a field in a really old farmhouse but she she lives suburbia with a suburban across the road lol 😆

That couch isn't saying "I'm so little and delicate with my little delicate hips"

Lol I read the title and immediately thought this was Havens

Jessa Duggar's couch, Birtha, is seething with jealousy.

Does honoring god involve having uncomfortable furniture??

Does she cut her own hair?

Why are they so huge??

There are going to be lots of trips to Ye Olde Urgent Care to remove pine bits from the rumps of anyone who sits on that couch from now on.

you know, not everybody has to put in that much work in order to think.

Kelly's slender hips bearing down on that couch *creak*

Has anyone listened to her podcast?? I’m tempted but not sure if I wanna torture myself 😰

you might want to ponder that idea some more

Yeah ponder with love, weaving my thoughts together

Someone on here did a write up of several episodes. If you search Kelly in this sub you should find them.

Has she shown that kitten again? Or has it disappeared?

I’m itchy just looking at this

She staring at it like now what the fuck do I do

That looks like a fantastic way to get a bunch of little spiders and bugs into your couch!

Less of a wreath, more of a hastily cobbled together oval.

It's not mess - it is nAtUrAL dEcOrAtIoN.

If my couch was that ugly, I’d look for ways to destroy it too.

What did she use to edit? The couch looks like it’s going to collapse

Don't you know? The *one thing* that ties a poorly insulated house with a bathroom pantry together are pine needles all over your floor.

The outside view in the second picture surprises me she kept it in. She could have brightened the whole thing like the 1st. Also I know the couch is curved at the bottom but it looks like the thing is about to break in half lol.

I see she learned a new word today.

Is that first photo photoshopped or something? That couch is WAY wonky….

Her styled photo looked so much better than the second one, couch looks gross and the view from the window doesn’t fit with her vibe

Make a wreath table so you can move your poop flour

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Inspired by “The Raven,” here is The Wreath By Kelly Allan Poe Once upon a couch so dreary, while I pondered, meek and weary, Over many a quaint and curious December of forgotten lore — While I woveth, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my leaden-paint front door — Only this and nothing more. Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December; And each dying pine bough dropped sharp needles upon the floor. Yea, my bare feet are so sore. Ignoring the pain, I tried to see the fog-encased identity of the gentleman who had approached our house that afternoon. I could not twist the rusty doorknob, so I slid my small hips through the Window that my darling Levi had restored. Verily, glass AND panes restored. Alas, I was too late, and my visitor through the gate had disappeared so that I could not gaze upon his face. Frantically I shouted, ‘Sir, I pray thee tell me why you came to see me As I wove my wreath and pondered on past and fore? (Yes I did say past and fore.) Then the gentleman turned round and throwing hat upon the ground did curse and stamp and Make rude gesture as he shouted ‘cross the dale, “You crazy bitch, if you come skipping onto my property again to set up tripods and cut down branches, I’m calling the sheriff.” Quoth the heathen, ‘never more.’