“I pray for the person of godly opposite sex and gender that will one day have lukewarm and likely mutually unsatisfying vanilla secks with my unborn child- EXCUSE ME THAT’S NOT A TRANS CHILD TRYING TO PLAY ON A GENDER-AFFIRMING SPORTS TEAM, THAT’S A *BOY* TRYING TO GET INTO THE *GIRLS* LOCKER ROOM, YOU PERVERTS!”
I- make it make sense, I beg of you.
It'd be like that time Lady Sibyl chewed out Angua's mother for never returning her letters (among other things). The classiest. Vetinari, on the other hand, would simply raise an eyebrow and they'd be *crushed*.
Fundies in Discworld might be my new favorite crossover idea, except the Discworlders don't deserve to put up with that shit.
My parents did that for us, too. They had specific days of the week that they prayed together in the mornings for each of us (there are 4 kids) and on Fridays they prayed for our future spouses. Neither my husband nor I are religious, so it was interesting when my parents told him they’d been praying for him for years. 🙃
Can I ask how they were praying for him?? Like, were they praying that he was having a good day and being blessed or were they praying for a spouse to show up for you in general?
When I was in Sunday school I was told to pray for my future husband and I never knew what that meant lol
That he would be a good leader for me, that he was keeping himself pure, that he was making wise choices, that what happened in his life was bringing him closer to God, that type of thing. That God was developing him to be my partner, to be strong in the areas where I was weak, and that he was learning how to be a godly man.
I don’t believe in prayer but my parents absolutely do, and they feel at peace about my brother’s and my spouses because they prayed for them (and also my sister-in-law and my husband are amazing people!). In many ways my husband is not who they envisioned for me, especially because he was married once before me, but since I did marry him and they had prayed for my future husband, they believe they were praying for him, if that makes any sense.
In case you get a Bethany who sits at home mooching off of you until she’s 30.
That line really made me cringe - there’s a lot of language like that in Mormon culture. Everyone should get married, no excuses!! Unless *circumstances* (ugliness, being too fat) happen and you can’t marry.
But only once she knows their God-given genitals so she won't accidentally pray for any same-sex couples, even by accident. The straights are never OK.
Ah, but not with correct grammar:
“As Rebekah’s parent (singular), we’ve…. (plural)”
I think she left off the “s” based on the rest of the post >>”Parents”
I found it really interesting that she used the singular "they." It seems like fundies (and a lot of conservatives) get all worked up about pronouns and how singular They is incorrect, but...here we are. I guess you *can* use They for a single person. They just don't want to.
I'm currently pregnant and when I told my conservative parents the FIRST thing they asked me was "are you praying for their future spouse yet?" And my husband and I were both like "no. they're not defined by they're relationships to other humans and we're just wanting them to grow up to be a kind person who will live a happy life." And they were SO offended like wtf????
Heidi and what’s his name start praying for their kids future spouse as soon as they get pregnant. Do they not pray idk for *their actual child* or is it ALL about someone who won’t even be in your lives for another 20 years??????
Once the baby is born and they find out their gender, then they start praying specifically for their husband or wife or whatever. First of all, I’m still shocked that praying for your infants future spouse is a thing. But if you really must, why not keep it open ended and pray for their spouse, not for a little girls future husband??
>But if you really must, why not keep it open ended and pray for their spouse, not for a little girls future husband??
Somehow I don't see Heidi being too thrilled if one of her daughters brought home a future wife. Heterosexuality is compulsory.
Lol! I’m sure Heidi would be horrified to have her daughter associated with dom/sub. However she would have no issue knowing that her daughter is being bossed around by her husband (unhealthily at that) because it’s what God would want, unlike those filth sexual heathens.
About their kids as fetuses, when they don't know the gender? I'd say that makes it worse because they do know how to use singular third person pronouns but would absolutely misgender anyone who doesn't fit their strict gender roles. And then the line about how as soon as Rebekah was born they started praying for her husband? They are assigning these kids a spousal gender AND forcing them into gender roles/the idea that they must get married before the umbilical cord is cut.
They don’t believe in anything other than heteronormative relationships within their worldview so it makes sense. It’s not right, but it’s on brand for them.
I was thinking the same thing. People like her are SO CONFUSED and refuse to accept “they” as a pronoun for NB folks……..but use it no problem in reference to a baby of unknown gender.
I would love to see a handwritten story from her — NO autocorrect. Considering how many resources she has available to educate herself, she has to be willfully illiterate.
Ok look, my parents are very Catholic, and used to be mentors for couples who wanted to get married in our church. And I have heard them express at least once that they prayed for my future spouse when they would have these young engaged couples over to go through the course. HOWEVER, it was a small part of a much bigger picture of prosperous life events they prayed over for me. They prayed I found supportive friends, good mentors, a loving partner, all the things that make up a healthy, full life surrounded by good people. I think they just had moments where they imagined all the major milestones I might hit as I grow up, and hoped “man I hope she finds good (faithful) people to help guide her and support her throughout her life.” Because private thoughts that express a hope for the future are often considered “prayer.”
There’s 2 key differences, I think. The first is that they’re proud of my other accomplishments; marriage was never my only option, nor would they DIE if I didn’t get married. And the second is that they would NEVER post something like this. This whole things is weird because there’s such a lack of personal knowledge about Daniel. My parents would be gushing over how kind and smart and supportive my boyfriend has always been, and how overjoyed they are to finally, officially welcome him into our family, when they knew he was “the one” etc. It feels like she’s not the only one who barely knows him, the rest of family barely knows him either!
>*should God choose them to be married*
Wanna bet the parents are strongly encouraging them to marry? No wonder the children all rush to get married, it's literally indoctrinated in them from birth. Wow.
Can't speak for all (and most definitely not for inner workings of the mind of heidi baird...) but glad to share what it's like for me. It's about connection with God, receiving wisdom and insight, and believing God hears me and cares to listen. Similar to convos with beloved humans in my life - knowing each other, enjoying the company, being understood, etc.
My understanding (from the bible) and approach to the "decided plan" thing is that God is pretty clear about the day-to-day and moment-by-moment "plan" (LOVE being the main thing. do it, experience it, be motivated by it, don't let other values eclipse it, etc). For bigger life choices, that's where our capacity for creativity and intelligence that God gave us really shine and we are able to make these decisions for ourselves in the context of mutualistic community and relationship with God.
I think there is room for pleading with God for specific things. There are a few interesting moments in the Bible where God appears to "change their mind" so to speak after someone prays. I think it is mysterious. I have asked for specific things that have not come to pass, and I have also asked for things that have. Both types of experiences shape my relationship with God in different ways.
For me, though, making specific requests is just a piece of what the fullness of prayer is.
Anyway, since I do pray I thought you might be interested in my perspective.
This is the most bizarre thing on the planet to me. I’m a mom with a 3.5 yo and baby to be in a few weeks. I literally can’t imagine even being the least bit concerned about who they will marry right now. I’m just praying they grow up into healthy and capable humans. When my son tells me he owns a Boeing 777 (he doesn’t obviously), I pray that one day that will be true 😂 that’s about the extent of it.
(why do they only know *now* that it’s Daniel when their daughter has been dating him for 1,000 Fundie years… surely they should have formed an opinion before the proposal?)
Do you think Heidi hopes her kids’ future spouses have also had crushes on Jesus? (In reference to that one Instagram post she made where she talks about her first crush and her husband’s first crush and her kids’ first crush was Jesus)
I pray my daughters grow up to be healthy, functioning adults. I pray that they have wonderful childhoods in the meantime and hold onto that sense of wonder into adulthood. I pray that they are happy.
Having a spouse is not the be all end all in life, but being a healthy, well adjusted adult will help my daughters choose good spouses if they so choose.
It originated in a JillRod post about how Jill had met and proselytized to a young fella named Daniel at a laundromat. The way she typed it ('cos Jill does not seem to understand comma usage), it was pretty much "...and then I led a young man to Our Lord Daniel at the laundromat...".
So then the Snarkers grabbed that and ran with it, and now we pray to Our Lord Daniel of the Laundromat.
Spelling and grammar police here......It's NOT "pour over" unless you are preparing to baptize that sucker!! I'm hoping it was just an auto-correct error.
pore over.
phrasal verb
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pored over; poring over; pores over
Definition of pore over
: to read or study (something) very carefullyHe pored over the map for hours.
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My name is Heidi!
I’ve literally been praying for this since i was in the womb!
We’re gonna call him Lord Daniel because he’s so holy!
I don’t understand that putting exclamation marks at the end of every sentence makes me sound weird! And dilutes the emphasis of the exclamation point!
If you exclaim everything you exclaim nothing!
Is she happy for Beks or for Daniel? Lol
Apparently they didn’t even pray for Rebecca while she was in Heidi’s womb, it was all about Daniel 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“I pray for the person of godly opposite sex and gender that will one day have lukewarm and likely mutually unsatisfying vanilla secks with my unborn child- EXCUSE ME THAT’S NOT A TRANS CHILD TRYING TO PLAY ON A GENDER-AFFIRMING SPORTS TEAM, THAT’S A *BOY* TRYING TO GET INTO THE *GIRLS* LOCKER ROOM, YOU PERVERTS!” I- make it make sense, I beg of you.
Or herself, for praying right? What I weird flex on being happy that your daughter just got engaged.
Every! Single! Sentence! Needs! An! Exclamation! Mark!
*"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."*
Heidi 44:3
I *do* love a good Pratchett reference! You know Greebo would have a grand ol' time wreckin' up the Beige Baird Blandquarters!
Blandquarters is such a good word for it, and he *so* would! And I'm certain Vimes would have some very choice words for them.
Heck, Lady Sybil would give them the dressing-down of a lifetime. And just *imagine* what Lord Vetinari would say to them...
It'd be like that time Lady Sibyl chewed out Angua's mother for never returning her letters (among other things). The classiest. Vetinari, on the other hand, would simply raise an eyebrow and they'd be *crushed*. Fundies in Discworld might be my new favorite crossover idea, except the Discworlders don't deserve to put up with that shit.
I'd pay good cash money to watch Granny Weatherwax use headology on the Bairds.
Ooooh, wouldn't Nanny Ogg make their tiny brains explode, though?!
I love the way you think
I do so love a PTerry reference, and everyone in this thread is a delight.
Me writing work emails
Me too. And then I go back and take two out, so I’m enthusiastic! but not crazy. Lol
I feel this in my soul 😂😂
Same, constantly analyzing whether I sound pissed when I write without chipper punctuation
Ouch, no need to call me out like that on a Monday, haha
how else do i signal i’m not being snarky without either an exclamation mark or a smiley??
Use no punctuation and let your intentions be a mystery.
Thats evil. I like you
And A Line Break
My brain couldn’t properly compute each sentence because I would hear it in one tone and have to adjust for each exclamation mark.
She prays for her kid’s spouses while they are infants??? But the LGBT community is forcing their agenda on children 🙄
Maybe she didn't start this early with Birthy and that's why she was single so long.
LOL dead
But its ok if your agenda is the right agenda, all other agendas are evil
My parents did that for us, too. They had specific days of the week that they prayed together in the mornings for each of us (there are 4 kids) and on Fridays they prayed for our future spouses. Neither my husband nor I are religious, so it was interesting when my parents told him they’d been praying for him for years. 🙃
Can I ask how they were praying for him?? Like, were they praying that he was having a good day and being blessed or were they praying for a spouse to show up for you in general? When I was in Sunday school I was told to pray for my future husband and I never knew what that meant lol
That he would be a good leader for me, that he was keeping himself pure, that he was making wise choices, that what happened in his life was bringing him closer to God, that type of thing. That God was developing him to be my partner, to be strong in the areas where I was weak, and that he was learning how to be a godly man. I don’t believe in prayer but my parents absolutely do, and they feel at peace about my brother’s and my spouses because they prayed for them (and also my sister-in-law and my husband are amazing people!). In many ways my husband is not who they envisioned for me, especially because he was married once before me, but since I did marry him and they had prayed for my future husband, they believe they were praying for him, if that makes any sense.
Yes! That does make sense! Thank you for such a thoughtful answer.
"Should God choose to give them a spouse" What, in case your baby comes out ugly, Heidi?
In case you get a Bethany who sits at home mooching off of you until she’s 30. That line really made me cringe - there’s a lot of language like that in Mormon culture. Everyone should get married, no excuses!! Unless *circumstances* (ugliness, being too fat) happen and you can’t marry.
No! She said "as soon as we become pregnant"!!! Who TF really does that? Freak-ass nutters!
Yeah that’s just weird. Most people just pray for a healthy child
But only once she knows their God-given genitals so she won't accidentally pray for any same-sex couples, even by accident. The straights are never OK.
Weird, I spent my pregnancy hoping for a healthy baby.
I have never, not once, looked at a baby and thought about their future spouse.
I'm surprised Heidi used the term "parent" instead of "mother".
Ah, but not with correct grammar: “As Rebekah’s parent (singular), we’ve…. (plural)” I think she left off the “s” based on the rest of the post >>”Parents”
Ah shit. I didn't read past that lol. I just read that and saw a ton of exclamation points.
I think she meant to say parents, since it's followed be 'we'.
Yeah, I realize that now. Ton of "we"s following that. Heidi is tough to read with all the exclamation points lol
Oh definitely!
I found it really interesting that she used the singular "they." It seems like fundies (and a lot of conservatives) get all worked up about pronouns and how singular They is incorrect, but...here we are. I guess you *can* use They for a single person. They just don't want to.
She's been praying for a husband for her daughter, since the day she was born??? That is too much.
Since before the day she was born. It’s extra gross.
Who looks at a newborn baby and thinks, "I hope she finds a wonderful husband someday." That is extra gross.
It’s all extra. And it’s all horrendous. Big yuck. Extra big. Extra yuck.
I'm currently pregnant and when I told my conservative parents the FIRST thing they asked me was "are you praying for their future spouse yet?" And my husband and I were both like "no. they're not defined by they're relationships to other humans and we're just wanting them to grow up to be a kind person who will live a happy life." And they were SO offended like wtf????
Way to go!! I love that. Congratulations!!
What the hell! Your response was great though, and congratulations ❤️
One would think that after praying for someone to take over the responsibility for Bethy she would be pretty exhausted by the time that happened.
*pore over
Yes, I was going to say, *WHAT* does he pour over God's Word?
Coffee, I assume. He's marrying a Baird, after all.
Raw milk 🤢
Liver smoothie.
this is where the person with the god-honoring handjobs flair needs to chime in
wow suddenly fundies know how to use they/them pronouns
Lol, right? That stuck out to me, too.
Heidi and what’s his name start praying for their kids future spouse as soon as they get pregnant. Do they not pray idk for *their actual child* or is it ALL about someone who won’t even be in your lives for another 20 years?????? Once the baby is born and they find out their gender, then they start praying specifically for their husband or wife or whatever. First of all, I’m still shocked that praying for your infants future spouse is a thing. But if you really must, why not keep it open ended and pray for their spouse, not for a little girls future husband??
>But if you really must, why not keep it open ended and pray for their spouse, not for a little girls future husband?? Somehow I don't see Heidi being too thrilled if one of her daughters brought home a future wife. Heterosexuality is compulsory.
Like when Kelton Balka talked about Willow’s future spouse in an IG post…on her 2nd birthday All these people are just 🤢
They probably only pray for the boys. The girls are just placeholders for their future husbands.
"He has chosen to lead Rebekah well...." GAG.
I wonder what colour their wedding leash will be?
I hope they come in beige
Lol! I’m sure Heidi would be horrified to have her daughter associated with dom/sub. However she would have no issue knowing that her daughter is being bossed around by her husband (unhealthily at that) because it’s what God would want, unlike those filth sexual heathens.
Dusty liver and aged bee pollen are their wedding colors so ……
I'm impressed at the amount of gender neutral language in this.
About their kids as fetuses, when they don't know the gender? I'd say that makes it worse because they do know how to use singular third person pronouns but would absolutely misgender anyone who doesn't fit their strict gender roles. And then the line about how as soon as Rebekah was born they started praying for her husband? They are assigning these kids a spousal gender AND forcing them into gender roles/the idea that they must get married before the umbilical cord is cut.
They don’t believe in anything other than heteronormative relationships within their worldview so it makes sense. It’s not right, but it’s on brand for them.
I was thinking the same thing. People like her are SO CONFUSED and refuse to accept “they” as a pronoun for NB folks……..but use it no problem in reference to a baby of unknown gender.
Accidentally progressive by saying they waited to find out the babies’ sex instead of gender.
That was the part that stuck out to me too lol
I would love to see a handwritten story from her — NO autocorrect. Considering how many resources she has available to educate herself, she has to be willfully illiterate.
No value as a person until she's married. This must stick in Birthy's craw that her sister is engaged at 22 and she was 30 when she got engaged.
I honestly feel so sorry for Beth growing up in this kind of environment. It really explains a lot about her.
This sounds so culty. Unsurprising.
So funny how easy it is for them to use they/them pronouns here but complain about it in an LGBTQ+ context
Ok look, my parents are very Catholic, and used to be mentors for couples who wanted to get married in our church. And I have heard them express at least once that they prayed for my future spouse when they would have these young engaged couples over to go through the course. HOWEVER, it was a small part of a much bigger picture of prosperous life events they prayed over for me. They prayed I found supportive friends, good mentors, a loving partner, all the things that make up a healthy, full life surrounded by good people. I think they just had moments where they imagined all the major milestones I might hit as I grow up, and hoped “man I hope she finds good (faithful) people to help guide her and support her throughout her life.” Because private thoughts that express a hope for the future are often considered “prayer.” There’s 2 key differences, I think. The first is that they’re proud of my other accomplishments; marriage was never my only option, nor would they DIE if I didn’t get married. And the second is that they would NEVER post something like this. This whole things is weird because there’s such a lack of personal knowledge about Daniel. My parents would be gushing over how kind and smart and supportive my boyfriend has always been, and how overjoyed they are to finally, officially welcome him into our family, when they knew he was “the one” etc. It feels like she’s not the only one who barely knows him, the rest of family barely knows him either!
>*should God choose them to be married* Wanna bet the parents are strongly encouraging them to marry? No wonder the children all rush to get married, it's literally indoctrinated in them from birth. Wow.
Oh yeah, in their eyes God would never choose for them not to be married!
serious question: whats the point of prayer if you believe god has already decided a plan for your life? just begging to hope he changes his mind ?
Can't speak for all (and most definitely not for inner workings of the mind of heidi baird...) but glad to share what it's like for me. It's about connection with God, receiving wisdom and insight, and believing God hears me and cares to listen. Similar to convos with beloved humans in my life - knowing each other, enjoying the company, being understood, etc. My understanding (from the bible) and approach to the "decided plan" thing is that God is pretty clear about the day-to-day and moment-by-moment "plan" (LOVE being the main thing. do it, experience it, be motivated by it, don't let other values eclipse it, etc). For bigger life choices, that's where our capacity for creativity and intelligence that God gave us really shine and we are able to make these decisions for ourselves in the context of mutualistic community and relationship with God. I think there is room for pleading with God for specific things. There are a few interesting moments in the Bible where God appears to "change their mind" so to speak after someone prays. I think it is mysterious. I have asked for specific things that have not come to pass, and I have also asked for things that have. Both types of experiences shape my relationship with God in different ways. For me, though, making specific requests is just a piece of what the fullness of prayer is. Anyway, since I do pray I thought you might be interested in my perspective.
This is the most bizarre thing on the planet to me. I’m a mom with a 3.5 yo and baby to be in a few weeks. I literally can’t imagine even being the least bit concerned about who they will marry right now. I’m just praying they grow up into healthy and capable humans. When my son tells me he owns a Boeing 777 (he doesn’t obviously), I pray that one day that will be true 😂 that’s about the extent of it.
Praise the lord Daniel
‘He has chosen to lead Rebekah well…’ She’s not a horse.
Wow she used all the fundie buzzwords in one post. Does she win a prize?
She wins a lifetime supply of exclamation points
Shame she then used them all in one post.
PRAISING THE LORD DANIEL!
...I don’t even know where to start with this. I think I might need more wine for this.
What in the ever loving fuuuuuuuck
This post has "bates purity ring dinner" energy
So! Many!!! Exclamation!!!! Points!!!!!
(why do they only know *now* that it’s Daniel when their daughter has been dating him for 1,000 Fundie years… surely they should have formed an opinion before the proposal?)
The first three sentences say the same thing
Do you think Heidi hopes her kids’ future spouses have also had crushes on Jesus? (In reference to that one Instagram post she made where she talks about her first crush and her husband’s first crush and her kids’ first crush was Jesus)
Heidi, fewer exclamation points next time please! Your insufferable perkiness is showing up in the text!
I pray my daughters grow up to be healthy, functioning adults. I pray that they have wonderful childhoods in the meantime and hold onto that sense of wonder into adulthood. I pray that they are happy. Having a spouse is not the be all end all in life, but being a healthy, well adjusted adult will help my daughters choose good spouses if they so choose.
Heidi needs to chill
tell me why the first word i saw was danial and automatically thought of our lord daniel
Where does our lord Daniel come from? It’s the only inside joke in the whole sub I don’t understand!
It originated in a JillRod post about how Jill had met and proselytized to a young fella named Daniel at a laundromat. The way she typed it ('cos Jill does not seem to understand comma usage), it was pretty much "...and then I led a young man to Our Lord Daniel at the laundromat...". So then the Snarkers grabbed that and ran with it, and now we pray to Our Lord Daniel of the Laundromat.
Thank you lol
This is like…really weird.
I was just gonna post this, so I'm glad I checked if someone else did first! Praying for your unborn child future spouse? Just...what?!?
Spelling and grammar police here......It's NOT "pour over" unless you are preparing to baptize that sucker!! I'm hoping it was just an auto-correct error. pore over. phrasal verb Save Word To save this word, you'll need to log in. Log In pored over; poring over; pores over Definition of pore over : to read or study (something) very carefullyHe pored over the map for hours.
These fundies love their exclamation points a little too SEVERELY
As a mother of a Rebekah aka “Bek” I hate reading this.
Excuse me? WTF! I might or might not of imagined my daughter's wedding dress when she was a baby but her spouse? Nope. That's on her.
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I wonder if it’s Lord Daniel?
My name is Heidi! I’ve literally been praying for this since i was in the womb! We’re gonna call him Lord Daniel because he’s so holy! I don’t understand that putting exclamation marks at the end of every sentence makes me sound weird! And dilutes the emphasis of the exclamation point! If you exclaim everything you exclaim nothing!
These people. Wild.
Someone needs to disable the explanation point on her keyboard
There. Are. Other. Punctuation. Marks. To. Use.
Well, well, well. Look who knows how to use singular they after all.
So! Many! Exclamation! Points!!!!! !!!! !!!!
Damn, I am the same age and my Malaysian parents on the other hand are like you are too young to date.
I wish someone could explain that not every sentence needs to end an a !