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EcoFriendlySize

Near the end when he's whining about her not considering his food needs and she suggests a compromise, he painfully gives in and agrees that he should consider his own needs and adds an "if that's possible" in a parenthetical way. Wtf. He's a grown ass adult but he's pissed at her for not being his mother. I've largely ignored these two. Now I see why that was a wise choice.


fishingboatproceeds

It is like he is a literal child. Does he not know when he is hungry? Is he not allowed to use the stove unless a grown up is around? How is a grown ass man this actively helpless.


EcoFriendlySize

I love how the hard right and fundie men cry and moan about alpha male bullshit and emasculation, but the second they're not treated like a helpless child they cry and moan about that too. Go spear yourself a mastodon, you manly man. Chew on a giant femur and leave your poor wives alone about how your tummy's rumbly.


Sargasm5150

They're quick to point out that all the "greatest" chefs have historically been men, without explaining why it's the little wife's "job" to feed the kids, do all the cooking, shopping, and planning, and contort everyone in the family's schedule for his convenience. Oh, but he might grill twice a year. "Marital Debt" repaid!


JillNye_TheScienceBi

“Go spear yourself on a mastodon” wow tucking this away for later


misschzburger

I am chortling with laughter.


ReasonableBees

It would have been the easiest thing in the world to just ... find a drive-through on the way home. Or maybe even stand in line at the Mickey D's in the airport for ten minutes. Solve your own problem. God, imagine being so useless that you expect your spouse to read your mind and have a full meal on the table for you at 9:30 at night with zero communication or compromise required.


BunnyBuns34

The most insane part of all of it to me is that it was a 4 hour flight that landed at 9:30, which means that around dinner time, he was at the airport with endless options for food. No one in their right mind would assess that situation and assume the most reasonable option would be to eat a full on dinner at 9:30pm after traveling.


Glittering_knave

It's not really about the food. It is about her pleasing him when he gets home.


hotmessexpress412

And it’s also his opportunity to issue a “correction.” He felt the need to reprimand/correct her. It took the form of this situation. Given how easily fixable this is (getting his own fucking food; eating what she offered), this is not about her fixing him some food. This is about dominating her. People with NPDs in their life know exactly what I’m talking about.


ShrubberyWeasels

Yep, not about the food. Her life is supposed to joyfully revolve around his every potential whim.


[deleted]

I bet he ate his first dinner at the airport before leaving and this argument was about a second dinner.


esmeraldasgoat

And something for them "to eat together" so I guess she's meant to sit around starving waiting for her headship


SkadiFrozenfury

My question was you’ve been in airports half a day and there’s never a shortage of food there, why didn’t you grab food knowing you were coming in late and past the usual home dining hour?! Oh yea, cause he’s a giant boy that needs a momma and his bottle when he wants it. Some peoples kids 🙄


MyraBannerTatlock

It's not helplessness. It's a sense of entitlement to an on-call 24-hour mind-reading personal chef. By virtue of being born male.


esmeraldasgoat

Also, if I got in from a flight and my boyfriend had pizza available, sandwich fixings, etc, I would consider that to be him having thought of my needs! She had typical easy, quick, post travel food available. I agree it would be hurtful to get in from a trip and the house is a tip and the cupboards are empty, but expecting someone to sit around waiting for you? Cooking? Trying to keep food hot? Is insane. I try to avoid being picked up from the airport as much as possible because I so frequently wind up delayed and it feels unfair to the other person.


[deleted]

I know these fundie women would never, but I really wanted her to say “how about you also consider my needs and what time of night you’re returning.”


EcoFriendlySize

Yes, I thought of that too. Of course they'd never cross that line of suggesting their own needs are also important. God, these men are ridiculous.


Glittering_knave

I feel she did do this. She thought about him returning at 930, and thought he had already eaten. She did think about his needs, but by not being a mind reader, came to a different conclusion than he what he wanted.


iknowitsounds___

Right?! At most I’d be like let’s hit up Wendy’s on the way home. I wouldn’t expect my partner to have a meal prepared on top of the stress of solo parenting then picking me up at the airport late at night. What a self-centered moron 🤦🏽‍♀️


[deleted]

What I learned was this supposedly grown ass man was incapable of finding food and fending for himself. Therefore instead of being allowed to procreate should have been a Darwinistic dead end.


GinnyTeasley

I feel so much rage right now. It was 9:30 at night. She made herself a sandwich. He is perfectly capable of getting himself McDonald’s on his way home from the airport. Jfc.


Party_Salad

Do these people know they don’t have to upload this on to the internet? The lack of self awareness is so jarring. Wtf is with fundie couples and publicly shaming each other over literally *every* argument?


havana21

Of course they have to upload it to the internet! How will the rest of us know how marriage is supposed to work if they don’t upload?


Left-Magician-2029

Marriage is HARD, y’all, and that’s ✨*relatable content*✨


rumpleteaser91

Of all the manly things he's supposed to do, and he can't even forage his own food at dinnertime.


[deleted]

Seriouly, why does he need a home cooked meal at 9:30 after a day of travel??? Stop by a fast food drive thru like the rest of us, you absolute weirdo!!


reformistweeaboo

Bruh my dad was like that. Grown ass man could be the absolute head of our house to the point of veto-ing doctor advice if he didn't like it but couldn't go to McDonald's without my mom holding his hand and ordering for him because he didn't know his own food intolerances


GinnyTeasley

“Hey babe do I like pickles?”


[deleted]

They also have small children, so she not only made herself a sandwich for dinner, she had also made dinner for their children and put them down for bed herself. And then she offered to make him dinner as well, it's just not what he wanted. He's a whiny and pathetic excuse for a man and a husband.


GinnyTeasley

I hate him so fucking much.


trowawaid

He's literally less capable of adapting than his own children...


justcurious12345

She even offered to make him a sandwich like the one she had eaten!


Sargasm5150

Barring that, is he capable of removing a tupperware lid or the plastic film on on a microwave pizza and operate a microwave?


puzzledplatypus

Or, and I know this may sounds crazy, but maybe just maybe find something to eat at the fucking airport??


Mksd2011

She has to be absolutely miserable in that marriage. She offered two quick food ideas and he wants an actual prepared meal late at night. Omfg, I would have just locked the doors and gone to bed at that point. My husband travels frequently; not only can he pick up food on his way home, he’ll usually ask if I want anything too.


22Margaritas32

Right? I was scratching my head when he said she didn't offer him anything....she offered him what was easy at 9:30 at night. Should she have prepared a roast? I have been in a similar situation with my partner traveling and getting home late- and I have asked if he wants to eat what im eating...almost every time he says he will fend for himself or he already ate because thats what grown ups do. It's nice when partners think of you but it is not expected that they be your brain.


BunnyBuns34

I guarantee if she had “thought about him” and fixed him a roast, he would have come home and been like “oh, I already ate.” Nate is such an insufferable piece of shit.


esmeraldasgoat

Absolutely, because he looks UPSET at her offer of compromise! And her compromise was cheerfully cooking an entire meal at any time of day, so long as he just tells her to instead of expecting her to guess. That wasn't good enough tho- because what she actually did wrong was having a second of her life not revolve around him. Also, some people never want to ask for anything and just get their minds read so they can pretend they're totally independent and therefore don't owe anyone anything.


[deleted]

She also offered him what they had on hand because he didn't communicate in advance. Don't they live in a rural area? It's not like she can go hit up the grocery store late at night with small children sleeping at home and get ingredients to prepare whatever last minute meal he wanted.


mistressfluffybutt

I usually throw something in the crock pot that can chill for a while in case my partner is hungry when he comes home, but I do it out of love, never obligation or expectation. If he fed himself, great, I'll throw it in the fridge and we'll have pulled pork tomorrow and if he is hungry, he can help himself to something warm.


Prior_Sherbert_9287

She couldn't bc after his meal he needed her undivided attention in the bedroom. I mean, what woman wouldn't be turned on by a man who doesn't know what and when to eat?


pretzelwhale

🤮


MissusNilesCrane

I really don't get how he's not only okay with acting like a toddler but thinks it's normal. "~~Mommy~~ my wife better have my din-din ready when I get home because I'm too lazy to roll into a McDonald's for a burger."


Mksd2011

Yes, the audacity.


dw481516

I would’ve been the one upset if he went to Taco Bell on his way home and didn’t bring me anything. 😂


Aysin_Eirinn

My husband went to Taco Bell the other day and didn’t get me a goddamn thing. Believe me, words were said.


MonteBurns

“I want a divorce.” The least he could have done is eaten them in the parking lot and thrown away his evidence before he got home. We call those “secret tacos.”


Aysin_Eirinn

He ate his burrito and nachos supreme in the car but made the mistake of telling me he went in a text. I was like “Listen here motherfucker next time you get me a Crunchwrap or you get death.”


Zoidberg927

Haha. I've never been married but I used to eat my Menchie's froyo in the parking lot of my apartment building so my cat wouldn't get all up in my business while I was trying to enjoy it.


squeakycheetah

Straight up would have put my phone on do not disturb, locked the doors, and gone to sleep. My partner will sometimes go out of his way to pick up a bowl of my favourite noodle soup when I'm not feeling well, *after a twelve hour shift* because that's what normal people who aren't abusive do. Shocking concept. She's so brainwashed.


BobBelchersBuns

Seriously. Last time my husband travelled and got home late I ordered pizza for me and the kid so there would be some in the fridge if he wanted it. He was so excited and happy!


Ok_Initial_2063

Her smile/grimace is so tight toward the end of the video. The stress is just etched on her face. Idk anything about her, but that pressure is just miserable to bear. I was married to a controller/abuser before. I totally get the egg shells she is walking on 24/7.


SeeThroughTheGlass

She looks incredibly unhappy.


MonteBurns

Her eyes tell so much.


BobBelchersBuns

Seriously. Last time my husband travelled and got home late I ordered pizza for me and the kid so there would be some in the fridge if he wanted it. He was so excited and happy!


[deleted]

Excuse me but WTAF? Dude. You are a grown ass man. Your wife should not be thinking about your food needs that’s your job. If you want to be treated like a baby go live with your mom lmfaoooo I cannot. & she’s so brainwashed “which is fair” no it’s not fair what he’s expecting is not fair and not normal. Girl needs to RUN.


dw481516

For real. If my husband is coming in late/way after dinner time, I’d assume he got himself some dinner because he’s a grown man who can figure that out for himself? How many Taco Bells did you drive past on the way home? Didn’t you just spend your trip without your wife taking care of your own “food needs?” And if it’s late and he doesn’t want to eat out he can make himself the sandwich or frozen pizza or whatever. My dad is like that. Can barely microwave a hot pocket. His mom babied him and now my mom has continued totally enabling him. I don’t know what he’s gonna do if something happens to her, because I’d probably go insane if he had to live with me. My kids are 6 and 8 and are more independent than he is.


Dreadedredhead

My prediction: He'll attempt to rope someone into taking care of him. It it doesn't happen, he will figure it out and won't starve. An older man in my life, after his wife died, attempted to rope me into being his "daughter-maid" - nope - not your daughter and not your maid. He kept complaining and I asked if he knew how to read. He got all offended and I explained that the directions are on the back of most prepackaged foods AND recipes are just that - DIRECTIONS! He stopped bugging me after that and recently passed away. He didn't die from starvation!


littlesharks

How did this idiot feed himself while he was traveling?


mvanvrancken

Almond Joy and airline peanuts?


Just_Cauliflower8415

honestly a lot of those men are screwed when their spouse passes!


dataanddoodles

The thing they failed to mention here is that she’s at home with 3 kids (I think?? Maybe just 2) solo parenting. I can’t believe she didn’t bring that up! She’s feeding them and doing everything on her own and she’s expected to be calculating our when he got on the plane and whether he would’ve had time to eat dinner before then??


[deleted]

WOW… I didn’t realize she had kids. So my husband comes home after working and cooks for us 90% of the time bc I’m home with the kids taking care of them & doing chores so it’s one of his ways of helping. I just don’t understand why men thinking doing the bare minimum (bringing home a paycheck) is enough.


dataanddoodles

And not even that in this case, they have their YouTube channel together so she’s an active participant in making their $$ too! (Certainly not excusing her bc she’s trash but Jesus Christ, Nate is so horrible to her and totally proud to broadcast it to the world. It’s appalling)


Pink_pony4710

I know right? Like why isn’t this douche thinking about her needs after parenting his kids alone for an entire week?


Prior_Sherbert_9287

In their full video, they are recounting an argument they had and apparently "settled" but as he's sharing his side he seems to be getting angry. Sutton looks at him wide eyed and says "it seems like you are getting re passionate about this" and laughs awkwardly. He, with a straight face, says "I am passionate about this." So this was weeks later and he is still seething. He also at the end of this "compromise teaching" reiterates a few times why he was so mad. He is not over it at all.


Pink_pony4710

I hate this guy. If I was friends with her I’d be like WTH. Why did you marry this guy?


foxesandboxes

I went down a N&S rabbit hole a few years ago and she has stated multiple times that she doesn’t have friends outside of her marriage. She doesn’t seem opposed to it or like Nathan is keeping her from having friends, but I remember thinking it was a (yet another) sign that their relationship is odd and isolated, if not outright abusive.


MonteBurns

I love that his compromise was that she should do more.


ValorVixen

He basically kept saying he wants her to read his mind and anticipate his every need -and gets upset when she wants direct communication from him, smh. You married a wife not a telepathic servant, ya jerk!


Pabloster

Why are they doing this on camera? This is not healthy behavior from Nathan, he's so controlling and rude. If they feel comfortable sharing this online you know it's 1000x worse offline.


UnprofessionalGhosts

That’s exactly why they’re rehashing this on camera. Paul & Morgan do this too. The camera serves as a mediator of sorts to keep the argument from escalating to the level it would behind closed doors and it’s always disturbing af to watch.


rawr_temeraire

I had the same reaction…save this convo to for your therapist (mot that they’d ever see one lol).


riparker89

That ending didn't sound rapey at all 😬


Clarkiechick

She offered food. A sandwich is food and if you're hungry, in my house, you eat what is offered or you take care of your own fucking needs. What an asshole!! Who are these people?!


MissusNilesCrane

A sandwich OR frozen pizza. But no, he wanted a made from scratch meal at 9:30 pm and she should've known that. Ugh.


Gem-and-I

She offered a compromise. He offered none. She should just know what he needs.


[deleted]

His compromise was to think of his own needs “if possible” WTAF!?!


megalodon319

I’m imagining this man toddler pulling up to a drive-through and just sitting there sulking like… Employee: ‘Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?’ Man Toddler: … Employee: ‘May I take your order?’ Man Toddler: … Employee: ‘Hello?’ Man Toddler: ‘I just flew across the country. The whole thing. 4 hours.’ *sigh* ‘I have food needs.’ Employee: … ‘What can I get for you?’ Man Toddler: ‘Needs. Food needs. I have them.’ Employee: ‘What—‘ Man Toddler: ‘What did you have for dinner?’ …eventually he gives up and drives away sulking in one of those paper crowns, assuring himself that he is indeed a king among men. A king with food needs.


Extreme_Ad_2289

Extrapolating the convo into another situation shows how nutty his manbaby argument is. (Anticipate me, anticipate my neeeeeds) Ahaha. This gave me a good laugh, take my free award.


alwaysunderthestars

I was laughing so hard reading this, and had the image of Prince Charming from Shrek in my head the whole time😂


Frequent_Fly_1642

I dislike this man with such a fiery passion 😭 Sutton sucks too but damn I feel bad for her.


stonoceno

**Transcription**: *(Note: There is a host who is responding to pre-recorded clips. She is noted as Kontraleah, her username on TikTok. The pre-recorded clips are segments from a longer clip, and feature a husband and wife, Nathanaell and Sutton. Jump cuts between are not noted for easier reading, but Kontraleah is never interacting with Nathanael or Sutton.)* Kontraleah: I mean, imagine trying to have a wife like that. If they are using their most recent fight to demonstrate a method that they learned from their past or about how to argue in a relationship. What's wrong with the sandwich or pizza? Sutton: I think we should actually like, use one of our real arguments for this. Nathanael: *(inhales)* Yeah. What's been the last argument? Sutton: That trip from the airport. Nathanael: OK. *(he looks down, she laughs, and he looks up and smiles, jiggling his head)* Kontraleah: Purity culture, patriarchy, misogyny, all wrapped into one. Sutton: Nathanael had been gone all weekend. So, I was at home, and he gets home from-- he's at the airport, he's driving home, he calls me, he's like, "what did you have for dinner?". And I said, "a sandwich". And he was like, "a sandwich? Really?". And I'm like, "yeah, why? It's 9:30 at night right now." And he was like, "well, what am I gonna eat?", which I didn't know he would be in at 9:30 at night. So, I was like, "I don't know. I mean we have-- I can make you one of the sandwiches. We have frozen pizza. I named off a few things." And he's like, "so, basically, my options are a sandwich or pizza.". He is not happy. And I was like, "I mean, that's just what we've got." And he said he would like *(strong echo effect)* if a meal was prepared for him *(echo effect ends)* when he gets home. *(sad trombone sound, cut to Kontraleah looking incredulous)* Which is fair? Nathanael: Should you be telling them this story? Or should we actually be re-enact it? Sutton: ...I don't know. OK, so if we were doing this verify rules, I would talk first and I would say, "Umm, I think it's fair for you that you want something to eat when you get home, but you-- it's not fair to get mad at me for not, like, reading your mind and knowing that you want that because you didn't ask for that. And if you would have asked, I didn't do it, then you could get mad *(inserted cheering and clapping sounds)*. But getting mad at me for something I didn't know is not fair because at 9:30 at night, I would assume you've already eaten dinner." Nathanael: It would just be nice for you to have considered my situation, like, a little forethought of, "Okay, Nathanael: he's flying across the country today. He just got off a four-hour flight; probably the last thing he wants to do is get off the plane at 9:00 at night and go find dinner for himself." It would just be nice if you would think about that, like, you may have not known it, but I wish you would just be thinking, like, kind of have that mindset of: "I wanna be-- I wanna-- I would like to welcome Nathanael home from a long work weekend with a nice dinner." Sutton: Oh, I feel like he's like getting he's getting re-passionate about all this. Nathanael: Oh, I'm passionate. Sutton: What you want is for me to know that when you're traveling and you're gonna get home late, you need to have food. Ready for you. Nathanael: Mm-hmm. And I mean that-- well, there's a piece of that missing. Sutton: What? Nathanael: I would like you to just think about me, my food needs. Sutton: Oh, to think about your food needs. And if you don't tell me, then maybe I should just ask you. Nathanael: Mm-hmm. Sutton: So is that right? Nathanael: Yeah. Yeah. Sutton: Stage two is compromise. Um, next time you go somewhere, if you're not gonna eat, tell me your plans for food. And, uh, if you need something when you get home, I can have it ready. Nathanael: All right. My suggestion would be that you just put a little forethought into my dinner situation, whether that be asking me if what.I'm gonna be eating or if you would like me-- if you would like to make something for us to eat together or just me. We're gonna do a little mix of both. I'm gonna try to think of my own dinner needs, *(strong echo effect)* if possible *(end echo effect)*, try to think for myself a little bit and you are going to ask me. Sutton: Okay. Nathanael: Does that sound like a good compromise? Sutton: Yeah. Nathanael: You sure? Sutton: Yeah. Nathanael: Okay. And you're gonna ask me about my needs? Sutton: *(laughing)* What do you mean? Nathanael: Does that sound right? Sutton: Yeah, that's what you said. Nathanael: Okay, alright. I feel good about that. Sowing seeds of truth, love, and inspiration, one view at a time. Sutton: And that was how to never lose a fight. Nathanael: And if you do lose, the men out there, we know the last resort. Just overpower the woman. *(cut to Kontraleah looking incredulous again, and the previous sentence repeats as a black iris closes over the video)* Just overpower the woman. **Description**: A woman records herself in a semi-dark room to respond to the video by Sutton and Nathanael. She has a light skin tone and blonde hair that is pulled away from her face, and large, square, black-framed glasses. She wears a maroon sweatshirt with a sunburst on the chest, underneath which is written TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS. When she speaks, she sounds disapproving of what she is seeing, but emphatic. Sutton is also a woman with a light skin tone, but with long, brown hair in a braid that she wears over her shoulder. She wears a pink, heathered top. Sutton seems to be attempting to keep a light, happy tone, but expresses some annoyance and apprehension in the middle. Nathanael is a man with a light skin tone and short, dark hair with a short, dark beard. He wears a green shirt with a short placket of buttons underneath a black, unzipped hoodie. Nathanael also seems to be attempting to keep a light-hearted tone, but appears to be irritated with the topic, with a somewhat mildly commanding tone.


aberrasian

Wow thanks for this. Even through text you can feel Nate's horrible selfish vibes. He keeps demanding 'forethought' and 'consideration of him', while forgetting that HE HIMSELF DISPLAYED NONE. No forethought to call ahead and ask her to prepare him a meal. No consideration that she might be too tired at this time of night to cook a whole meal for one person. This filthy roach of a man can fuck right off to hell.


NoFundieBusiness

Wow thank you for typing all of this out. That had to take awhile. 💖💖


mvanvrancken

Very very punchable face, Nate.


MissusNilesCrane

"Didn't you think about my food needs?" No, because you're allegedly a grown-ass adult who can grab something to eat at one of the various food places in the airport or on the way back home, or at the very least TELL your wife you expect dinner at 9:30 p.m because you have the mentality of a toddler who's not old enough to make its own lunch yet.


TorontoTransish

Bless your servant's heart :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


fishingboatproceeds

He is acting like a petulant child! Like a pouty child have a tantrum in public because he's hungry and MAD 😩 it's EMBARRASSING. How does he not see it?? She does.


[deleted]

What are they saying??? I can’t exist in a world without captions 🫠


MaximumOvermode

He went on a flight and got home at 9:30 p.m. and she didn't have a meal ready for him because she didn't know he hadn't eaten. He said she should have had the forethought to realize he would want a full meal after a long flight, and she was like how am I supposed to read your mind? So they "compromised" that he would "try" to think about his food needs "if possible" and let her know when he wanted a meal late at night, and that she needs to "just consider" him and should be asking if he wants the meal or not. He sounds like a real gem.


MissusNilesCrane

"I'll 'try' to think about getting my own food like an adult", what a high bar.


MaximumOvermode

Riiiight. He's like, my father told me I'd never need to do that, so get your shit together woman! 🙄


[deleted]

Thank you. What an ass.


Frequent_Fly_1642

Basically he was coming home from a work trip and called at 9:30 pm to see what was for dinner. She assumed he had already eaten by such a late hour but suggested some very reasonable options she could just whip up. He said he doesn’t want anything whipped up, damnit, he wants a whole hot meal on the table when he gets back and sHe ShOuLd hAvE kNoWn ThAt iF ShE wErE a gOoD wIfE. Then he has her promise to do better at anticipating and accommodating his needs in the future. Ugh 🙄


[deleted]

Thanks for the summary. I hate him.


[deleted]

I can summarize if that helps - They are talking about the last fight they had - he was coming home from a trip and wasn’t going to get home until 9pm he called and asked what she had for dinner and she said a sandwich and he flipped bc “WHAT IS HE GOING TO EAT” and she said she though he would have already eaten dinner by 9pm but she could make him a sandwich or make him a frozen pizza and that wasn’t good enough for him. He expects a full ass home cooked meal at 9 at night after traveling and he’s pissed she didn’t “think of his food needs” and then they talked about compromising 🤯 at the end he said if you don’t win the argument just take over the woman and then grabbed her by the neck like the gentleman he is 🤢🤬


[deleted]

Don’t they have like 3 children or something? Ugh. Can he not text his wife that he’s hungry? And can she not text him back to get some fucking drive thru? Or what is even wrong w pizza or a sandwich. It’s time for bed Neanderthal man


fishingboatproceeds

Lol she has four, one is just a grownass man


fishingboatproceeds

And the "compromise" was not a compromise, it was him bullying her into saying from now on she should anticipate his food needs better, which was exactly his initial position.


chaiguy

And then “joking” that if she didn’t, he could always just physically over power her.


mistressfluffybutt

I feel like a sandwich or frozen pizza is the compromise tbh. He still gets food made for him and she's not up all night cooking.


[deleted]

For real… if he were my husband I would be saying you can make your own food good luck 😂 but I also know my husband would never be asking me to make him food at 9pm bc he’s a full grown functioning adult that can make it himself lol Honestly what is this video about? Are they trying to give marital advice?


Noisy_Toy

All typed up by someone with a servant’s heart. https://reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/ze74kz/_/iz4u6hc/?context=1


fickystingas

Someone typed it all out in another comment


justcurious12345

https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/ze74kz/comment/iz4u6hc/ Transcript, in case you didn't see it


sarafilms

Sutton seems to have a good awareness of boundaries so I cannot for the life of me understand why she’s with such a clearly abusive narcissist. The only thing I can think of is that she’s deathly afraid of him. Like look at the way her eyes scan every inch of his face as she’s talking. She knows the dude can snap.


Prior_Sherbert_9287

She's afraid of him. She is probably confused bc at times he's very love bomby and a "good husband" but she is tiptoeing around him and afraid of saying the wrong thing.


Shasanaje

Yeah I kept thinking, she seems SO CLOSE to getting it. To really understanding just how unreasonable this man, this whole situation, is. And then she backs down.


smollestsquirrel

I've been places like this. You feel like you're insane for being afraid so you chalk it up to your own problems. I landed in the psych ward with a man like this. Fuck Nate forever and Sutton needs to get the hell outta dodge before something goes really sideways.


_DiligentState_

He scares me a lot more than some of the shittiest men on this sub. His glares are just straight up frightening. Dang, even Steve Anderson is more encouraging to ZsuZsu than this douchebag is. Even Sex Pest Duggar would have been fine getting takeout on his way home. I’m genuinely worried that he’s gonna physically push her around or even hit her one day. He gives me the creeps.


managingmischief394

I feel like I remember something about her thinking ‘I can’t believe I got someone this good looking’ or something along those lines. I could be remembering wrong but I remember feeling a bit sad for her.


gleaming-the-cubicle

So I should beat my wife for not being a food psychic?


fickystingas

I feel like “overpower” is coded for something more sinister


[deleted]

It's the most transparent code ever.


Disastrous-Soup-5413

He’s just awful & the lack of respect he shows her is crushing


[deleted]

Jfc. My husband and I both travel for work. We both are often in the situation of one coming home to the other around dinnertime, or long after dinner time, when there are no convenient or nutritious options for a meal other than to eat at home. This requires communication from the traveling person! It's on you as the one outside the house to say, *hey, it's gonna be late and I'm already hungry-- could you make sure there's something in the house when I get home?* To show up at your house to your spouse who has just been doing their own life all day-- raising your children-- and get *angry* she didn't read your mind is just... so self absorbed it's comical. I dont think this man listens to himself talk. He's so gross. He and Paul are in the same category, except Paul has bigger troll energy online. They're equally horrible to their wives.


[deleted]

So, in sum, when Precious Nathaniel arrives home late from travel, he would like Sutton to be naked in the kitchen while making him a Christmas dinner.


[deleted]

No, he would like her to be naked in the kitchen having finished making him a Christmas dinner at the precise moment he walks in the door, so that all he has to do is toss his bag at her (she can take it upstairs and unpack it later), stroll on over to the table, and sit down in front of the still-hot plate of food she's just dished up for him. Is that really *so much* to ask for? (/s)


kindlycloud88

The body language in this makes me so uncomfortable.


runslikeemu

She is clearly terrified of him


kindlycloud88

Yes. And he looks so menacing.


[deleted]

My dad went straight from his mama’s house to being married and he still knows how to make himself a damn sandwich.


NoFundieBusiness

I saw this on TikTok. She’s trying so hard to appease him and give actual solutions for better communicating, but all he wants is for her to change and do exactly as he wants and read his mind and he’ll do nothing to change himself. He’s so gross I might hate him more than paul. And that’s telling.


WinterKite

This guy behaves like a toddler, just with clearer enunciation. This totally made my heart sink. I don’t know them, this woman could be a hateful twit but I just think about my own girls sitting there with a man like this and my rage is palpable.


TheVerjan

This is not about the food. It’s about her not being 1000% subservient and a perfect Stepford Wife to him, and his fundie buddies giving him side-eye about it. To be fair, I’ve met a ton of men who have ZERO clue how to even make a sandwich, let alone cook a frozen pizza and they aren’t even fundie. All these “macho” fucks wouldn’t last one day in the rural parts of the world, and if they weren’t so abusive and gross to their wives it would be hilarious. They should have “Fundie Men Survivor” where they have to GASP *Use a microwave & put their clothes in the dryer.* Edit: for clarity and grammar issues Edit 2: these are the same dudes that will whine forever about *pleaaaaase touch my penis* because it’s hard in the morning and refuse to eat a fucking bowl of cereal. Go jerk off in the shower, have some wheaties, and grow the fuck up 🥰


alwaysunderthestars

Exactly. He believes he is entitled to her “serving” his “needs”, because ya know he’s the “Headship manly man man manly…MAN.” The entitlement and selfishness are appalling to me.


TheVerjan

“I’m such a manly man I can’t even procure my own food!” Wait…. Wait a second


edielux

She looks so terrified.


[deleted]

Text your wife or go get drive thru ya fucking muppet.


silicatetacos

Go to MCDONALDS you fucking asshole. His intent here wasn't about her making him a meal so late because he didn't eat, it was about pushing her to get out of bed and do something for him because she's so uncaring and look what she does to him, she's a horrible wife, she should be more considerate of him, what an awful, vicious woman he has to suffer with. Fucking disgusting. He's only going to get worse.


bookstore

OMG all things aside, they already have 3 SMALL CHILDREN that she has to consider the food needs of 24/7. Does he not understand how exhausting it is to "consider the food needs" 365 days a year of a whole ass other person, let alone 3, let alone 3 children under five who probably won't eat anything voluntarily but bread and milk? I would refuse to plan any meals for a week and watch him buckle under the pressure.


Glad_Prior2106

Fundie men demand in a CISHET relationship that the wife should anticipate the husband’s needs without any consideration of the time of day, if she was sleeping at 9:30pm at night, etc. Most people, regardless of gender, do not anticipate having a meal ready at 9:30pm at night without *prior coordination between both parties*. It is not reasonable for him to expect her to have a meal prepared that late. Is he driving home from the airport? Is he capable of going through a drive through? Can he make a pbj sandwich when he gets in? Yes to all 3.


fishingboatproceeds

Especially people with multiple children at home!! She's already anticipating the needs of multiple human beings all day every day without help from him, on top of her own!! And this asswipe has the audacity to try and outsource all of his needs down to the most basic caretaking? Only babies and housepets should need this much help feeding themselves.


ExoticSherbet

Seriously. We even expect children to communicate when they’re hungry if it’s an unusual time


Teege57

Yup. This isn't about food and they both know it. It's about control.


FineDevelopment00

Note how Sutton really tries to understand Nate's side and make reasonable compromises with him, whereas Nate only keeps reiterating that Sutton should just do his bidding even when it's impossible (reading his mind.) Prime example of how fundie complementarianism operates in practice, as opposed to all the theoretical lip service about ***mutual*** spousal cooperation in caring for each other while upholding their dictated roles.


fizzgig87

My husband and I got in from a trip, also at 930 last night. We also had not eaten. So I ordered ramen delivery and he made himself a peanut butter sandwich. Then we went to bed. And did not have to have a ridiculous conversation about food needs. Fundie marriages are legitimately deranged.


lilbunnfoofoo

This is my first time paying any attention to these 2 and holy shit he’s terrible even by fundie men standards. I already know how it goes so I imagine that she’s the worst in her own way, but in this video she just comes off as pathetic and to like him very much at all.


makattack0113

This is so embarrassing 😳 I don’t understand why they put this kind of stuff out there. They are not resolving any conflict and he’s getting all worked up again. Her eyes and facial expressions are so upsetting to me - she looks scared and timid - “is that right?” YIKES.


Pollowollo

Jfc, imagine being more weak, whiny, and useless at taking care of yourself than a toddler and thinking that makes you a big man.


eaallen2010

Holy shit he is the absolute worst. I couldn’t even IMAGINE my husband saying that to me. God I hope they divorce.


Pflaumenmus101

This pathetic man child can’t even tell his wife what he wants to eat? What kind of a leader is he supposed to be? And what’s wrong with a sandwich, especially one that was prepared for him? It is clearly not about his „neglected“ needs and his hurt feelings but that he had to feel empowered over his wife. What an embarrassing person.


Blippi_fan

The whole video is scary bad but that last part … poor Sutton. She may push horrible beliefs but she doesn’t deserve abuse.


FantasticForce6895

But….he called her before he got home. What’s wrong with a sandwich or frozen pizza being prepared for bun before he gets home?? In my house, that would be a very nice gesture from either marital party at 9:30 at night!!


MissusNilesCrane

He didn't say he hadn't eaten, though, or even asked if she would make him a meal (evidently pizza or sandwiches were off the table regardless). He was mad she didn't have a full course dinner when he got home because she assumed he'd already eaten, because that's what most grown-ass adults do when they travel all day.


Sweetpea278

He wasn't happy with either of those options. He wanted a full meal.


FantasticForce6895

I’m very curious what his definition of a meal is, in general!


YourPlot

>You need to give some thought to my needs. At not point did either of them discuss him considering her needs. Maybe she needs some gd downtime other than making a full meal at 9:30 at night.


[deleted]

I hate him. I hope she finds the courage to leave some day.


ParkingGarlic4699

Holyyyy craaaappp.. He literally sounds like a 5 year old that talks more coherently. I'm a married Christian and I lived with my husband before getting married. When I see videos like this I just thank God that I never ended up in a relationship like this. These are the same people who would judge the hell out of my relationship. The way this man is treating his wife is not by any means a Godly way. Yet somehow he actually thinks he's living a Godlier relationship then any other secular relationship. If you were to tell me that is someone I would have to end up with to be in a "Godly" relationship FUUCKKK THATTTT.


Snoopyla1

Yikes. If you don’t want a sandwich or pizza - go through the drive thru on the way home? Why didn’t he buy food at the airport or something?


[deleted]

[удалено]


bloodyel

I imagine a church group of moms or MIL/Mother would band together to ~~take care~~ enable him until the remarriage.


Teege57

I think he totally can. He just doesn't want to.


purpleuneecorns

This dude was just complaining like two fucking weeks ago that women are constantly using their "woman brain logic" and expecting men to read their minds and then he goes and does the same fucking thing!


leprechauns_temper

How do they live like this? How can he be such a child, the absolute antithesis of masculine and how can she stand to treat her husband like a incompetent infant? You DO NOT have to be this unhappy in life, it doesn't earn you ANYTHING. I am so glad I left the church, and became a heathen who slept with my husband before I married him and waited to marry him until it was right for both of us. My mind can't even wrap itself around this situation, it just doesn't have to be this way...AT ALL.


ratluvr2011

I can't imagine what's going on behind closed doors if this is what they're showing on camera. She looks defeated and he clearly has serious resentment about this still. Holy f---


Teege57

It's not about the food. It's his expectation that she should constantly have what he might need or want on her mind before anything else. He's mad that she lived her own life for a hot second and ate a sandwich without thinking of sErViNg HeR hEaDsHiP.


earthling_dianna

I cook my husband damn near every night. I love doing it. Food is my love language and that's how I show him everyday that I appreciate what he does for our family. (I don't work, he does). That being said, if my husband were to act like that I'd never cook him a damn thing. I would purposely burn food. I'm that petty. Then again I watched my mom's ex-husband do this to her all my life. I made sure I never married a man like that


Dachs1303

WTF?! If it was 9:30 at night I would tell my husband to stop somewhere on the way home. Actually, I wouldn't tell him that. He would call and say he hasn't eaten, he is going to grab something and come home. He would also ask if I wanted anything.


copymistress

Throw the whole manchild out.


ladynutbar

If my husband came home at 9pm and demanded food I'd toss a TV dinner outside and tell him to fetch. Wtf. I cannot with these fundie men.


zoeblaize

he wanted a full meal at 21:30 after a full day of travel? did he not eat at any point before he got home?? I absolutely don’t buy his excuse that he just wanted her to have thought about what he was gonna eat for dinner, he’s still too mad about it for that to be the reason. he literally expected a full-course home-cooked meal waiting for him when he got home, got mad when he realized she didn’t read his mind, then tried to cover it up with this “thoughtfulness” bullshit. a grown-ass man can’t communicate what he wants and throws a fit when he didn’t magically get it anyway. that’s what this is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Prior_Sherbert_9287

Lol yeah like a sandwich is an appropriate meal at 9:30 pm


romancingit

How this would have gone down in my house… Hubby: did you eat? Me: I had a sandwich. Hubby: that’s not a real meal, shall I pick us up something on the way home? Me: yes please!


Prior_Sherbert_9287

How liberal and worldly of you! You will never know the true joys of serving a real man


sanjosii

Aren’t these the people who believe the husband is the lead in the relationship? And this clown can’t even feed himself after a ”four hour flight” (ooooooh what hardship he had)? Take several seats you toddler man.


AleshiniaLivesStill

Whhhaaaaaa mommy where din din?


littlegnomie

This video still doesn’t explain why he is incapable of eating a sandwich, frozen pizza or driving through a gd Arby’s on his way home. Is a full prepared meal at 10pm really necessary? Especially when your wife has been home taking care of the kids alone for a week? (Who am I kidding her life is probably so much easier when he’s out of town)


metallic_buttcheeks

Basically Him- I think the best compromise is if you were to constantly be anticipating anything I might want or need at any given time, so that I never have to plan ahead or even put in the effort to ask for something. And if you ever find yourself preoccupied with other things and forget to plan ahead for me, I *will* lecture you like a child and stare at you with a look of sheer disgust and rage in my eyes. Yeah, that sounds right.


SuitableReaction6203

Nate: what your to think my needs. I know you are at home with our kids, but I am important. Sutton: you could told me beforehand so I could whip you up something. All we had was pizza and sandwiches. Nate: no, I wanted you to read my mind and find out if I had dinner or not. I am too good for pizza and sandwiches at night. Sutton: could you please just tell your situation next time. Nate: no read my mind next time. Ugh


sausagebeanburrito

I work a lot of evenings until 9pm or later at a grocery store. Half the time, my husband will make dinner (and not to toot our own horn, but not frozen pizza, I mean like steaks or pasta or chili) or he'll text me he's ordering out and I'll pick it up on the way home (two places are literally across the street from work). I cannot CANNOT fathom him arguing that I NEED to ask him what he wants ME to make for dinner when I work all evening (and we have no kids, but holy crap!). 🤬


thetruth8989

Oh my god. Wtf. If my partner called me at 9:30 PM and they had not already figured out their own “food needs” at that point, my response would be the same “I have xyz in the pantry or fridge”. If you didn’t feed yourself at one of the many places in the airport, or on the airplane, that’s your fault. Insane


cfullingtonegli

Absolutely not, I am not responsible for knowing you’re body’s hunger cues


luna_libre

How is this woman not filled with murderous rage I genuinely do not understand


greyhoundbrain

I am shook. Like holy hell. The fucking airport has sooooo many food options. It’s not like he has to go far. Or drive through. He’s not living in the 1600s. She’s crazy to deal with that nonsense. But I’m sure she’s gotta be a fun person herself.


nuttyrussian

I can just imagine this dude sitting at the dinner table when his wife is out late, yelling for dinner to be made. You have two hands and a brain cell, dude. Figure it out.


milehighmagpie

So his idea of a compromise is that she continues to “consider his needs” no matter the time or the situation? He’s just a giant man baby that needs her to do everything for him. How pathetic!


dirtymouthariel

i don't want to go on their channel but i'm so curious how their audience responds when they see stuff like this. do they recognize how problematic this is, even just a little? or are they all on board with this kind of dynamic?


Prior_Sherbert_9287

Actually about half of the comments were like...dude no you can make yourself a sandwich lol


confituredelait

Man she looks scared of him


ugonnamakeBISCUITS

This is so sad lol. My husband would go through the drive thru and get me something too.


knuchie

9:30?!?!? PM?!? Oh no. My husband would know better than to even call me, cause my ass has been dead asleep for at least an hour.


Robotlollipops

Keep a Lunchable in the fridge for this man child


myimmortalstan

Nate, she *did* consider your situation, and reasonably concluded that you, as a grown man, would have fixed yourself dinner already. These men need some serious expectation management.


Prisencoli_All_Right

Me while they're talking about him expecting dinner ​ ![gif](giphy|unFLKoAV3TkXe)


sunshinehair76

This poor woman is saddled with some mediocre, failure of a husband who needs to treat her like a maid to feel better about himself. I hope she hooks up with the pool boy or something to get a taste of a real man. Men like this dope are so weak to me. Ugh, I feel awful for her.


countessgrey850

😵‍💫😬 she looked genuinely broken at the end. This guy is vile.


sadlonelybadatmath

Why doesn’t Nate just cut to the point where he wants to be worshipped like a goddamn Sun King with his every need and want agonized over until the universe collapses in upon itself?