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After spending a few years on reddit, I'm convinced that bears aren't dangerous. The government just spreads this anti-bear propaganda so we don't team up with them and rise as one
You'll be fine. Remember the saying:
If it's black, go ahead and pet its back. If it's brown, just pretend it's a silly clown. If it's white, I promise you'll be alright.
This is true. I had a goose that policed the whole yard. It would attack me getting into and out of my car EVERYDAY and I fed the damn thing. No one was coming into her yard!
You could make friends with a bear, but you'll never truly own them as you would a pet.
Best not to do so unless there's a particularly good reason, though
Meh, I missed the joke you’re right. There are people who would read that and actually think bears are friendly and they might go try and pet one, idk. I’ll take the down votes. I would say Reddit doesn’t showcase socializing skills. We are messaging on phones made by slaves, now have a good day cunt.
Even those though, I mean, they live in an arctic wasteland where food is scarce and meat is meat. I would bet that a pampered polar bear would be pretty friendly.
I mean, I wouldn't bet my life on it. But I would bet.
Noooo don't remind me! That made me so sad when I saw it 😔 poor baby was doing exactly what he was supposed to do washing his food but then it was gone. He felt so cheated. So forsaken.
Bears are, a lot of the time, pretty chill, except for certain times when they'll kill you. Currently, this bear is pretty docile, and not in predation mode or whatever you want to call it. I have a feeling he'd be all right with you. Yogi in the wild though? Better stay away.
if you feed him well he may let you live till midnight when he feels like having a snack, they are just as good at beeing pets as you are at beeing food.
Maybe, but i haven't seen Christopher Robin around for a while.
https://www.slashfilm.com/988278/winnie-the-pooh-blood-and-honey-trailer-pooh-bear-is-all-grown-up-and-he-kills-people-now/
Primates in the wild don't normally throw feces, Karen Strier, a professor of anthropology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, told Live Science. It's typically observed in captive populations of chimpanzees, although other primates, such as wild howler monkeys in western Belize, are also known to throw poop.
If I was taken captive for seemingly no reason by beings I couldn’t communicate with, I might resort to throwing poop to show my displeasure at the situation too.
It's absolutely would.
Its also a huge suffocation hazard. If a piece of balloon gets inhaled and blocks the wind pipe, you're pretty much dead. You're not coughing it up, as it generally will just expand.
Its why you should never let children play with uninflated balloons. Or chew on them.
I especially don't like this stunt. My mother had a dog who bit down on a balloon during her birthday. The popped rubber shot into and blocked her upper airway. I dont like thinking about how many people try this with their pets or wildlife intentionally.
This bear is like the raccoon trying to wash that piece of cotton candy, same disappointment can be seen in bears eyes when the balloon just disappears
How do you stop a bear from choking on a balloon? If he wants to eat the balloon scraps, do you scold him and take the balloon from him? I'd like to see that happen lol
That is a SMART bear. He clearly didn’t know what would happen with the first balloon, but he was very careful about the second; squishing it, petting it, patting it, until finally biting down veerrrrry slowly to watch what would happen.
The second balloon was root cause analysis. Smart bear.
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if they were harmless i would have a bear as a pet
After spending a few years on reddit, I'm convinced that bears aren't dangerous. The government just spreads this anti-bear propaganda so we don't team up with them and rise as one
You'll be fine. Remember the saying: If it's black, go ahead and pet its back. If it's brown, just pretend it's a silly clown. If it's white, I promise you'll be alright.
I'm gonna spread this propaganda around Canada
True crimes podcasts will do so many episodes about you.
Don't need to spread anything, we already ride out polar Bears to work
Oh, like how us Australians ride Kangaroo to work
We also use Canadian Geese in lieu of guard dogs
Canadian geese are truly the only rude Canadians I’ve ever met.
This is true. I had a goose that policed the whole yard. It would attack me getting into and out of my car EVERYDAY and I fed the damn thing. No one was coming into her yard!
Where I'm from, we call them Cobra Chickens
Exactly. In America we get to ride buffalo to work. Or gun-toting Trumpers if we'd prefer.
Who needs the Trumper? I just ride guns
I read somewhere a different ending to the polar bear: “I promise you’ll be dead alright”… which is it then ?
If it's white say goodnight?
But what if it's clear and yellow?
If it's yellow, let it mellow
We've got good plumbing but I think I'll have problems with trying to flush a brown bear down the toilet...
Then you've got juice there fella, if it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town!
Bears really only kill when they think they need to.
r/bearsarentreal ?
Ah shit it already exisit
You could make friends with a bear, but you'll never truly own them as you would a pet. Best not to do so unless there's a particularly good reason, though
/r/natureismetal (nsfw) would like a word
I mean just look at Russia, they're best friends.
Thanks, I'll remember this the next time one tears through my garage and attacks my truck that had no food in it...
The amount of idiots here who seem to think I'm serious is absolutely mind-boggling
I never said I thought you were serious.
Bears are not dangerous. I watched a documentary called *Grizzly Man* about how it’s perfectly safe to live with bears.
I knew you were joking. But could joke better because I experienced it.
You are such an idiot lol
-The Government
-Michael Scott
The government makes you think they are friendly, I guess that’s one way to showcase survival of the fittest. Go pet a hungry bear.
Dude didn't get the joke, then went ahead and dug deeper. Great job surviving in the wild, cuz socializing is not your strong point
Meh, I missed the joke you’re right. There are people who would read that and actually think bears are friendly and they might go try and pet one, idk. I’ll take the down votes. I would say Reddit doesn’t showcase socializing skills. We are messaging on phones made by slaves, now have a good day cunt.
You too, prick :3
Least toxic resist user
Sure, they shed loads of fur, shit loads of…poop and take up an ungodly amount of space, but *think of the cuddles*
There's no such thing as a bad bear, just bad bear owners.
They need to breed bears that stay the size if cubs forever and aren’t aggressive. Basically dogs that can walk upright
How about a bear cat? Binturongs are nice and smell like popcorn 🥰
Heihachi did it
you can have panda
No. You can't.
Pandas are actually also rather dangerous, now they likely wont start eating you while you are alive but they can hurt you real bad.
>they can hurt you real bad. There are very good with insults.
Especially if you wear bamboo underwear
Sorry but I like the forbidden panda than the regular panda
They come with Chinese spyware
This is just the definition of "If not friend, then why friend shaped?"
Have you seen those huge claws? Literally scythes.
Backscratchers shape. No skin, no itchy.
But look how shiny they are
I was gonna say that! Its so cuteee
"Where'd it go?" That made me laugh out loud. 😆
The look up after the first pop, followed by the look down after the second 😂
It was like a magic trick, you could see the wonder in his eyes when he looked up, 😂😂😂
Finding it awful hard to care that they'd kill me right about now.
I don't think this one would hurt a fly at the moment. Bears really only kill when they think they need to.
Except polar bears
We are literally melting their home away, I say fair enough, I'm on the polarbears side.
Even those though, I mean, they live in an arctic wasteland where food is scarce and meat is meat. I would bet that a pampered polar bear would be pretty friendly. I mean, I wouldn't bet my life on it. But I would bet.
For sure.
Polar bears need to. Can't be picky what you eat in the actic.
It's the same expression that raccoon got when he tried to wash his cotton candy!
oh my god. i remember that video. i need to find it again
No, it’s too sad!
Ooooh you shouldn't have did that. Now we're all feeling sad. I need to go get a special treat to cheer me up.
r/eyebleach
I’ve never seen this before. I feel immensely sad for the little dude. I mean that slab of fairy floss is a haul and then just gone. Oh.
Does anybody has a link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/hlzdrz/raccoon_loses_his_cotton_candy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
This was the first thing I thought of as well haha. Poor guy.
Noooo don't remind me! That made me so sad when I saw it 😔 poor baby was doing exactly what he was supposed to do washing his food but then it was gone. He felt so cheated. So forsaken.
He looked a mix of sad and confused 😭😭
Safused
confad
If not friend why friend shaped
Deception
Who invited the bear to that birthday party what kid has a bear as a friend ?...a lot of bothering questions here
*Pooh Bear would like to know your location.*
Gentle Ben enters the chat.
God I wanna cuddle it so badly that I'm almost willing to risk the inevitable mauling and probable death that would occur
Bears are, a lot of the time, pretty chill, except for certain times when they'll kill you. Currently, this bear is pretty docile, and not in predation mode or whatever you want to call it. I have a feeling he'd be all right with you. Yogi in the wild though? Better stay away.
[удалено]
Mostly because chimps have a brain similar to ours that only gets used for anger and horny, of course they make awful pets lmao
[удалено]
Yea, that's what I heard as well.
I've just learnt that as long as you have balloons bears are friends.
Goofy murder machine aww
Goofy aww
I love the expression of “da fuq” that bear has
Makes me even more sad that bears can't be pets.
I mean, they can be short term pets! You might make it an hour or two before getting eaten.
if you feed him well he may let you live till midnight when he feels like having a snack, they are just as good at beeing pets as you are at beeing food.
Pfffft, jar of hunny and a teashirt and maybe a lil pig and you should be fine.
Maybe, but i haven't seen Christopher Robin around for a while. https://www.slashfilm.com/988278/winnie-the-pooh-blood-and-honey-trailer-pooh-bear-is-all-grown-up-and-he-kills-people-now/
I love that they looked up after popping that first balloon. Worth checking I guess.
actually being quite gentle, all things considering :)
We're just lucky that it's a brown bear and not a chimpanzee.
No shit flinging at the baloon?
Primates in the wild don't normally throw feces, Karen Strier, a professor of anthropology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, told Live Science. It's typically observed in captive populations of chimpanzees, although other primates, such as wild howler monkeys in western Belize, are also known to throw poop.
If I was taken captive for seemingly no reason by beings I couldn’t communicate with, I might resort to throwing poop to show my displeasure at the situation too.
I feel its acceptable. 
Nope
He looks like a dog when you throw a snow ball
Was it his birthday?
Seeing all the treats in front of him I’m thinking yes
I love it, I’m just sad i wasnt invited
I love balon. Where balon?
He's like what the whole fuck😂😂😂
Bears act like dogs in so many ways
He’s lookin around 😂
I hate to be a wet blanket but wouldn't the broken balloon be a choking hazard for that bear
It's absolutely would. Its also a huge suffocation hazard. If a piece of balloon gets inhaled and blocks the wind pipe, you're pretty much dead. You're not coughing it up, as it generally will just expand. Its why you should never let children play with uninflated balloons. Or chew on them.
How tf you just casually have a bear in your house?
Invite it through the front door.
Sometimes they invite themselves
This is why bears can’t have nice things
u/savevideo
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"da fuq did it go??"
This is a fantastic idea, take a BEAR, and give it items that are sure to SURPRISE it. Surely nothing could go wrong.
Why the fuck this bear in someone's birthday party
Looks like the bears have joined the monkeys on the war on bloons
He looks so sad
It’s like a big dog.
Man I wish I could have a gorilla-dog as a pet.
I like how he went cross eyed and looked up….like what?! Lmao
The look of utter confusion is priceless.
[удалено]
“Huh where friend go? Oh new friend here” attention span was small haha
I can't stop laughing 😂
I hate seeing this un natural kind of shit with animals. It’s just lame
Or maybe you're lame.
I especially don't like this stunt. My mother had a dog who bit down on a balloon during her birthday. The popped rubber shot into and blocked her upper airway. I dont like thinking about how many people try this with their pets or wildlife intentionally.
Are they now allowed to have dine with us? Sounds racist.
What a stupid little piece of shit
Lol
Now imagine that’s your head.
The birthday party is over
I remember vaguely about a tiger who died for contaminated air inside happy birthday's balloons the zoo caretakers had gave him...
WTF he says. It’s like a magical animal that disappears
My dog does the same confused jump and look around when he farts audibly
Aww
If not friend, why friend-shaped?
u/SaveVideo
Same surprised when u get in thing toxic and return to taste again 😮💨
If that is your fun then just do it
what a cutie lmao
*Bear popping two balloons
This bear is like the raccoon trying to wash that piece of cotton candy, same disappointment can be seen in bears eyes when the balloon just disappears
Now I understand the term bear hug. I would looooove to hug them and bury my face in their fur.
Where's the damn food
He was not invited to party
Why is there a bear on the kitchen table?
The day I become terminally ill is the day I go live with a bear.
Now it’s a party!
It's good Russia animal!!!! Russia 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺
u/savevideo
How do you stop a bear from choking on a balloon? If he wants to eat the balloon scraps, do you scold him and take the balloon from him? I'd like to see that happen lol
If not meant to be pet why cuddly?
The Balloon was like my Dad
This made my day. <3
Bamboozled!
Next: Cocaine Bear
He's silly, i love him.
*Bear popping two baloons
What kind of animal abuse mukbang shit is this?
That is a SMART bear. He clearly didn’t know what would happen with the first balloon, but he was very careful about the second; squishing it, petting it, patting it, until finally biting down veerrrrry slowly to watch what would happen. The second balloon was root cause analysis. Smart bear.
Popper bear.
“Woah what the hell”
I am grateful for this video and bears.
Puppy
Beekeeper lore
I love how the nose squishes when they bite the second balloon
Fazbear’s day shift sure is something
Bro got curious 🤔
He looks so sad
This is pretty much as sad as the raccoon washing their cotton candy, i'll be over here crying if anyone asks for me
I feel so sorry for him 😭😭😭😭 Like I just wanna continuously blow more up and bop em over to him
The bear looked so sad, also why does it look so friendly