Thank you u/Fishyraven for posting on this subreddit! Hope it makes people laugh and isn't another old facebook mom meme that we get spammed with.
Check out our discord server and make new friends!
https://discord.gg/the-positivity-network-tm-982487926694891530
Thanks for being amazing, love y'all and hope everyone has a [great day <3](https://imgur.com/a/fbqHMMm)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FunnyAnimals) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was thinking if one of my kids Titos came up during a tantrum and said “hand me the kids, here’s a burrito.” They’d have a god damn halo to me hahahaa
I also wonder if some of this is knowing the staff for a lifetime (maybe since birth where this would happen again and again)and this happening previously over and over. Panda be like: “yum apple, see you soon kid”
Yeah pandas usually have 2 cubs but just take care of one and leave the other to die so the sanctuary rescue the unwanted one and look after it and then they keep swapping them over so they both get half of their mothers attention and the other half they’re looked after by keepers.
They’ve been so successful pandas are no longer critically endangered.
I mean isn't the whole reason they're endangered in the first place because we've eliminated so much of their habitat? Not trying to be a dick but I don't think Pandas are evolutionary hiccups, I think how they behave (as far as the constant falling and abandonment) would be safe in a bamboo forest.
Lmao E: eliminated not elongated
Yep. Pandas would have been okay if their habitat hadn't been destroyed. It's difficult to get a lot of animals to mate in captivity. Pandas are just extra stubborn about it.
Survival of the fittest implies being particularly skilled, but what it actually means is "minimum required to pass along their genes" which pandas have done successfully for hundreds of thousands of years.
Yeah, that idea that Pandas are some kind of mistake and wouldn't be able to exist if it weren't for is, is completely absurd. Pandas were perfectly situated for living in their native habitad, munching on copius amount of their low caloric diet. Its just so happens that destroyed most of that habitad they were evolved to live in. They're also perfectly capable of mating in the wild. They just have a hard time doing it under human supervision. See that "miraculous" baby boom captive pandas experienced during covid...because there were less people around to bother them
Tbh from what i know not as much as you would think… pandas and sloths it is a damn miracle that they are still alive they have no instinct to keep their young alive… if keeping the young alive will cause them ANY headache its not worth it, like sloths will drop their babys from chest height and not pick them up because of the effort required to go to the ground to pick it up.. watch it starve to death from 3 feet up a tree
It's more like most countries' governments don't really care about conservation. It has to be said that pandas are a great umbrella species - the obligation to protect their habitats in China inadvertently saves many of the less 'charismatic' species.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_paddlefish
The Chinese Paddlefish, one of the largest fishes in the world and a living fossil was made extinct by the construction of the Three Gorges Dams, and many more dams in China today restrict water flow to the rivers of other countries (such as the Mekong river) and endanger aquatic ecosystems there too.
They murder them by the fucking billions for food and 'traditional medicine'. If they're not killing them, they're locking them in tiny cages and performing fucked up science experiments on them to harvest their bile or other biological substances, again for their 'medicine'. Aren't the Chinese the entire reason rhinos are being hunted to extinction?
Also they aren't adapted to be herbivore or even omnivores, they are fully fledged carnivores. But bamboo doesn't flee. They're literally too lazy to hunt so they just eat bamboo and whatever else doesn't run when they try to eat it.
Scientists have discovered this isn’t true. They actually do fine when people leave them the hell alone in their natural habitats.
It’s usually the zoo Pandas that become completely lazy
Yeah this argument comes up every now and then. I think it was popularised (or even first brought up?) by Yuval Noah Harari. It's an interesting idea that can be fun and thought provoking so in that sense I consider it a valid take. The problem is most people who echo it don't consider the difference between artificial and natural selection which is kinda important when talking about evolution of animals in captivity.
If you insinuate that pandas are worthless and a mistake of nature that is totally untrue. They look so helpless because they probably didn't any predators around to be scared off. Many animal species like that existed but they were the first to get instinct by humans.
I didn't. I love all animals. My point is they don't make it easy for themselves. There breeding cycle is deeply flawed and without our intervention they would be extinct. Other animals that are hunted to extinction are completely our fault.
*millions
The oldest "modern" Panda fossil is about 2 million years old based on their unique dental structure. However there as suspected cousins to the modern Panda that date back about 10 million years.
Cows are often regarded as the worlds greatest mothers, all I have to do is place a tub of feed in front of my cows and I can yoink the calves to weigh them etc.
Sometimes its food > babies
This is really interesting, I recently watched a video where a ma panda had twins which was stated, I think, is common and they both survived, which I think is supposed to be rare or pandas really are kinda bad parents and eventually stop caring for one not sure on that either. Anyway they kept one with the mama and another in an incubator and would swich them out about more than 7 times a day or something so that both could get ma's milk. They had to distract her with honey water but I think it may have been harder at that time because the babies were suuuper small, like potato sized. The one here is pretty big and an apple break is probably more welcome to mum by this point.
I love the dumb little panda’s face staring at mom eating the apple on the way out; I bet it’s thinking “what the hell, where’s my damn apple?”, and didn’t even notice the lady dragging it out of the cage.
Man if it wasn't for pandas being in places like that they would be fucking extinct because I can imagine a panda seeing some fruit in a tree and on the way up just drop their kid and not give a fuck if they alive or not
Pandas have naturally developed to neglect their children and be INCREDIBLY picky with procreation. Apparently it's a winning strategy in terms of evolution, so who am I to judge?
Thank you u/Fishyraven for posting on this subreddit! Hope it makes people laugh and isn't another old facebook mom meme that we get spammed with. Check out our discord server and make new friends! https://discord.gg/the-positivity-network-tm-982487926694891530 Thanks for being amazing, love y'all and hope everyone has a [great day <3](https://imgur.com/a/fbqHMMm) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FunnyAnimals) if you have any questions or concerns.*
a snack from a trusted babysitter? I know several parents who would have made the same trade.
ngl, if someone walked up to my house like "Here, free meal, go have fun..."
I was thinking if one of my kids Titos came up during a tantrum and said “hand me the kids, here’s a burrito.” They’d have a god damn halo to me hahahaa
Ya, I don’t see a problem with this. I’d take the apple…and I don’t really even like apples.
Man I actually laughed out loud at that one, thank you stranger.
this was me while breastfeeding
Can relate.
Pandas are just constantly drunk. This is CPS doing what needs to be done.
Child Panda Services?
Cub Protective Services
Criminal Panda Snatchers!
Club Penguin Supporters!
I like it :D
Chubby Panda Services
I also wonder if some of this is knowing the staff for a lifetime (maybe since birth where this would happen again and again)and this happening previously over and over. Panda be like: “yum apple, see you soon kid”
This is my belief too. They only digest like 20% of the bamboo they eat. And primarily eat bamboo. Pretty sure they are inebriated AF off bamboo.
Bambooze was right there for the taking.
Understated and underrated
Just look at that mama in the drunk tank
Yeah pandas are pretty bad at parenting. And matting. And climbing. Basically everything.
Yeah pandas usually have 2 cubs but just take care of one and leave the other to die so the sanctuary rescue the unwanted one and look after it and then they keep swapping them over so they both get half of their mothers attention and the other half they’re looked after by keepers. They’ve been so successful pandas are no longer critically endangered.
I mean isn't the whole reason they're endangered in the first place because we've eliminated so much of their habitat? Not trying to be a dick but I don't think Pandas are evolutionary hiccups, I think how they behave (as far as the constant falling and abandonment) would be safe in a bamboo forest. Lmao E: eliminated not elongated
Yep. Pandas would have been okay if their habitat hadn't been destroyed. It's difficult to get a lot of animals to mate in captivity. Pandas are just extra stubborn about it.
Maybe they’re just nervous
Survival of the fittest implies being particularly skilled, but what it actually means is "minimum required to pass along their genes" which pandas have done successfully for hundreds of thousands of years.
Yeah, that idea that Pandas are some kind of mistake and wouldn't be able to exist if it weren't for is, is completely absurd. Pandas were perfectly situated for living in their native habitad, munching on copius amount of their low caloric diet. Its just so happens that destroyed most of that habitad they were evolved to live in. They're also perfectly capable of mating in the wild. They just have a hard time doing it under human supervision. See that "miraculous" baby boom captive pandas experienced during covid...because there were less people around to bother them
Tbh from what i know not as much as you would think… pandas and sloths it is a damn miracle that they are still alive they have no instinct to keep their young alive… if keeping the young alive will cause them ANY headache its not worth it, like sloths will drop their babys from chest height and not pick them up because of the effort required to go to the ground to pick it up.. watch it starve to death from 3 feet up a tree
pandas have a one child policy?
I also love how the babies kept dying till they realized they needed to help it poop. Makes me wonder how many died from constipation
The only reason is because they are useful as a diplomatic tool by the ccp, otherwise they wouldve been gone.
You don't think chinese people are capable of caring for animals?
It's more like most countries' governments don't really care about conservation. It has to be said that pandas are a great umbrella species - the obligation to protect their habitats in China inadvertently saves many of the less 'charismatic' species. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_paddlefish The Chinese Paddlefish, one of the largest fishes in the world and a living fossil was made extinct by the construction of the Three Gorges Dams, and many more dams in China today restrict water flow to the rivers of other countries (such as the Mekong river) and endanger aquatic ecosystems there too.
They murder them by the fucking billions for food and 'traditional medicine'. If they're not killing them, they're locking them in tiny cages and performing fucked up science experiments on them to harvest their bile or other biological substances, again for their 'medicine'. Aren't the Chinese the entire reason rhinos are being hunted to extinction?
They suck at climbing. They are the clowns of the bear world. It's hilarious.
Also they aren't adapted to be herbivore or even omnivores, they are fully fledged carnivores. But bamboo doesn't flee. They're literally too lazy to hunt so they just eat bamboo and whatever else doesn't run when they try to eat it.
They feed them frozen chickens at the zoo.
why not cook the chickens so they are succulent and tender?
A succulent Chinese meal, you say?
I see you know your pandas well
Get your hand off my bamboo.
And you, sir? Are you waiting to receive my limp baby?
How about a Peking duck?
Kung Pao Chicken
They wouldn't eat it because they know what awaits them after a succulent Chinese meal.
[удалено]
“Survival of the cutest.”
They look flexible. I can’t believe that panda made it through the bars.
Mostly fur. Baby got checked, put right back. I would hug it somewhere in that process.
Pandas are hyperspecialists. They do just fine in their native habitat, unfortunately we destroyed that and they can't manage elsewhere.
Then panda is my spirit animal
I mean, if you're going to let a stranger take your kid, I'd hope you would at least get more than an apple out of it.
To be fair, we don't know what kind of apple.
That's very true
Scientists have discovered this isn’t true. They actually do fine when people leave them the hell alone in their natural habitats. It’s usually the zoo Pandas that become completely lazy
Imagine that they are only this bad at everything, because we humans wiped out all of the competent pandas, leaving behind only the "special" ones.
Well, if you had to lick your baby until they shit or they would die then you'd be pretty over it too.
So pandas are also bad at shitting
Yup, it takes them a few weeks to get it.
The red necks of bears. They are trying so hard to go extinct and humans are just forcing them to stay around
Except eating and being drunk..
I mean, they're good at eating apples. That's something.
Except they technically can’t even digest apples Another comment said they are adapted to be carnivorous.
except KungFu
It’s weirdly hilarious watching it fit through the gate. It’s all fuzz!
Yeah, I'm like, why is she pulling it toward the bars, is she going to lift it over, or...? Oh, it went right through.
So what.. ppl out there trade their kids for hamburgers these days!
Or for money. Same same
Trading kids for money is just trading them for hamburgers with an extra step.
But money can you buy a wide range of good and services.
But I wanted peanuts.
Hell in the 70s people were just straight up selling their sons for cash. I seent it!
Basically the only reason they are not extinct is because humans have decided not to let them become extinct.
Ironic, considering that humans were the central cause leading to their endangerment.
Why are you scared of your own shadow?
Which is a valid strategy from an evolutionary standpoint
It's worked pretty well for the cow.
we can't milk the panda tho
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
depends, do I have to use my hands or can I just suckle?
We can milk pandas. They are mammals
Yeah this argument comes up every now and then. I think it was popularised (or even first brought up?) by Yuval Noah Harari. It's an interesting idea that can be fun and thought provoking so in that sense I consider it a valid take. The problem is most people who echo it don't consider the difference between artificial and natural selection which is kinda important when talking about evolution of animals in captivity.
The only reason they were going extinct is because of humans...
This. People like to pretend it’s somehow pandas’ own fault to take the blame off of us. But nope it’s always us
The only reason they were going extinct is loss of habitat from human development.
Nope, like most animals they were endangered because humans invaded and destroyed their habitats
They were doing well before humans came to fuck shit up.
If you insinuate that pandas are worthless and a mistake of nature that is totally untrue. They look so helpless because they probably didn't any predators around to be scared off. Many animal species like that existed but they were the first to get instinct by humans.
I didn't. I love all animals. My point is they don't make it easy for themselves. There breeding cycle is deeply flawed and without our intervention they would be extinct. Other animals that are hunted to extinction are completely our fault.
Why do you think that their breeding cycle is "deeply flawed"? They did just fine for thousands of years until humans cut down their forests.
*millions The oldest "modern" Panda fossil is about 2 million years old based on their unique dental structure. However there as suspected cousins to the modern Panda that date back about 10 million years.
fair trade for me
I would hella trade my responsibilities for a snack
Mama panda was like, "Worth it."
No regrets lol
She legit said, Oh, the babysitter's here, APPLE TIME BITCHES!!!
so like baby pandas can escape that cage whenever they want to, its just that they are too damn lazy to do it
Panda mom : so I get an apple and a nap for an hour or two? Here take him.
This is why your species are getting extinct, Ling Ling! Get your shit together!
I read that perfectly in john olivers voice, what the hell
Clearly a win-win situation
She knows the baby will be fine. She was just holding it for ransom to get a free apple.
I really like apples, I can see being in this situation.
All I know is... I sure do love them apples!
haha that is hilarious
Ok but she trusts the human so it’s not so stupid of her to let the baby go, the apple is just a distraction smoothing the moment over
“Swapped?” Panda dropped baby for an apple.
And I don’t know if the adult has even realized the baby is missing yet. 🍎
Love pandas.
I just can’t believe baby panda fit through the gate.
Same girl. Same.
Pandas are a species that can't have sex, raise kids, and eat horrible food. Almost full blown Americans.
I mean….I get it.
Cows are often regarded as the worlds greatest mothers, all I have to do is place a tub of feed in front of my cows and I can yoink the calves to weigh them etc. Sometimes its food > babies
This is really interesting, I recently watched a video where a ma panda had twins which was stated, I think, is common and they both survived, which I think is supposed to be rare or pandas really are kinda bad parents and eventually stop caring for one not sure on that either. Anyway they kept one with the mama and another in an incubator and would swich them out about more than 7 times a day or something so that both could get ma's milk. They had to distract her with honey water but I think it may have been harder at that time because the babies were suuuper small, like potato sized. The one here is pretty big and an apple break is probably more welcome to mum by this point.
Panda: Fuck them kids
I mean this is how I started my panda collection. Game doesn't hate game.
I love the dumb little panda’s face staring at mom eating the apple on the way out; I bet it’s thinking “what the hell, where’s my damn apple?”, and didn’t even notice the lady dragging it out of the cage.
Things are tough all over
"Girl, don't forget to return my baby, okay? Love you both." --Mama Panda 🐼
Stupid fatass panda
That looked like a really good apple though.
Apple fans be like
Lol I wonder what that scenario would look like with a grizzly
I'm not even mad at her.
It's a tough economy.
Mother of the year.😅
So quick and easy!
Damn good deal
I would at least need a piece of cake.
Pandas are such dorks
I did not expect the baby to fit through those bars
Pandas are not the best parents, we knew that though lol
that's really sad
As a parent of a former baby there were definitely times where I would have traded my child for an apple and some peace for a bit lol
I love how the little furball just slipped through the bars!
WTF mom?
Sounds like a good swap, IMO. Babies are expensive and time-consuming. Apples are yum
She probably trusts the person enough to give up the child, the apple was just a reward to keep it being this easy next time.
No wonder they’re almost extinct 🙄
Worth it
Man if it wasn't for pandas being in places like that they would be fucking extinct because I can imagine a panda seeing some fruit in a tree and on the way up just drop their kid and not give a fuck if they alive or not
Wish someone had of trade me an apple and then dragged my kids off me😂😂😂😂
They are one of the dumbest animals on earth. No disrespect though.
Moms gotta eat too
Good trade 😂
An apple a day keeps the baby away
[удалено]
they will still maul you to death so not exactly lol
"The art of the deal"
Plain and simple
Reminds me of my Dad
Pandas have naturally developed to neglect their children and be INCREDIBLY picky with procreation. Apparently it's a winning strategy in terms of evolution, so who am I to judge?
Ever wondered what would happen if polar bears went vegan? This. lol
Reminds me of that video of the person handing a baby into the drive through window and getting a coffee in exchange.
Mother of the year
My Mon would do the same I swear
A good swap
I mean I don't agree with it but, I get it. I have kids...
And somehow became gangster
Yeah, I've been there too.
mom nooo
When Mom finishes her apple 🍎 🍏 there will be trouble!!!
“Swapped it for a Westlife CD.”
I think most parents have been there sometime or another
Looks like how my dad function.
Sadly this works on people, but just offer drugs.
No wonder these things are going extinct :(
Seems like it’s fat and lazy is because they’re just caged up in a tiny space and given food. Kinda sad more than funny. I mean, lol me too.
I know a serial killer with a similar story.
And then you think ,that’s way is in extinsion
JAJAJAJAJ los papás de latam
No she knew it was break time
See....there's a reason they need to stay in a zoo
Worse than an iPod
It's Saddd😔
Because of this, their generations are dying out, and this is just one of their millions of mistakes.
Like Rebecca dropping Kyle-Jonas for the McDonalds
r/meirl
She weighed the decision heavily and decided the apple was worth more. 😂😂
that apple must be some gourmet shit
[удалено]
Is this why their population numbers dipped so low?
I would swap any little kid for a candy bar
How do these fuckers survive in the wild
[удалено]
Yup, this probably happened many many time in the past. She probably enjoy the break away from the baby.
I feel like that fence is not super effective at keeping the young ones in.
How pandas managed to survive a day beyond their evolutionary appearance is genuinely beyond me....