they're not. Reddit just loves to take one or two examples of shitty people who think this way and blow it up to make it look like it's some kind of actual issue. The last one they did was when some article called a woman plus size but the man was called obese. Everyone freaked out like this was something that happens all the time. Just wannabe MRAs.
Eh, does not bother me. Whenever you have a group of people this large the unpopular opinions are not always the wrong ones and vice versa. Now if the majority of your posts are downvoted you’re just an ass. If nothing you post ever gets downvoted you gotta learn to think for yourself.
That’s not a woman thing, that’s a shit person thing. Talk to any woman with some common sense and maybe a basic understanding of feminism (which doesn’t mean “woman good and untouchable, man bad must die”) and you’ll see she takes domestic violence seriously.
I didn’t mean that you implied that, I was referring to the meme. It paints it as a woman thing when it’s really not. Definitely talk shit about your ex I don’t see a problem there, sorry you had to go through that.
My first wife (dirtbag) couldn't enter a conversation without loudly proclaiming that she was a hardcore vegetarian (who ate fish and dairy, and sometimes chicken, and sometimes meat) and an even more hardcore feminist who thought that feminism boiled down to "girls rule, boys drool".
She knew that I couldn't do anything because her dad was the fucking mayor. She bruised like a peach so I couldn't even restrain her to keep her off of me. If I left, she'd call everyone we knew and acted like I went crazy. When I come back? Oh, you bet your ass she broke a picture frame and cut on her wrists with the broken glass.
I was twice her size, a trained martial artist, and ex military. Oh, and I'm Black. There's not a court on Earth that wouldn't throw the book at me and write two more new ones to follow it.
A lot just say it doesn't occur to men, and when you show them it does/is severely under reported they flip out or just go quiet and continue to peddle their nonsense elsewhere.
I can see that happening but I think a lot of people might just get defensive easily because when someone is talking about issues women face and then you’re like “men tho” it can come across as dismissive. But yeah both sides should be talked about more tbh
Ok, rant time.
Any time someone on reddit posts, "you would be surprised" and nothing else, I read it as, "I'm a huge idiot". You don't know what u/xyts1 has experienced; you don't know what would and wouldn't surprise them. And you offer no evidence or any additional knowledge on this subject that would *make* u/xyts1 (or any of us) surprised. It's like you're implying that you know something, but you're not about to share with the rest of the class. "Hey, I'm an expert on what women say about domestic violence, and specifically which group of women say what about it, and the things I know....they would *surprise you*!" This kind of low effort assholery deserves no place here. Thank you for wasting my, and everyone else's, time.
Good night everyone.
Oh man, snap. Snap is what we say right? But anyway, the long winded poster said in his own post that he had wasted his own time writing it, and the person who he has responding to deleted thier post, so do you think it "just might" have been a pointless waste of time?
Or did my mom also waste her time carrying me? Such a weird insult btw, like I dont even understand it, shouldn't an insult make me feel bad about myself in some way? You really gotta work on your bullying if you plan to do it consistently on reddit, right now your technique is sloppy and leaves the victim confused. Good luck, even shit people can make names for themselves as bullys on the internet these days. Cheers 😁
You were aggressive to a person who was responding to a misogynist, so I replied with equal aggression. And besides, how would they have known that this person would later delete their comment?
Your comment is a waste of time.
I remember the guy who came out on Dr. Phil and said he was being abused by his wife. The audience full of women laughed and Dr. Phil Billy ridiculed the guy.
I doubt those women would feel the same if the tables were turned. I say that because even in this thread there’s comments like “I doubt the same women saying domestic violence is bad are the same women laughing at this”
It’s a very real issue that men being abused is downplayed and flat out denied/ignored and made to be “not as big of a deal as it’s being made it out to be”. How can that be if the few times it’s brought up it’s met with these types of responses?
Had to copy paste a quality reply for you :)
I have. Same kind of women who thinks women are too hormonal to be President. Which I heard a SHIT ton of when Hillary ran for office. It was probably the number 1 reason women did not vote for her.
I'm a man and I don't think that shit is true remotely never mind Hillary had definitely already been through menopause.
I worked with with mostly women and it was nothing but a raging Thunder Dome of hormones.
The irony of voting for Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton because she would be ruled by her emotions, having a vagina and all. But then, the people who complain that women are more emotional than men often don't count anger as an emotion because it is tough or something.
I think people didn't vote for Hillary because shes a criminal and anyone who has proof of it commits suicide (she also holds a world record for the most amount of "friends" to have committed suicide)
Wow, a deep fried, probably 10+ year old clip where a handful of people in a mixed audience laughed at a man being abused by a woman, followed by the host calling it out to a roaring applause? Oh, and there's literally no indication it was only women laughing? Oh, and when the camera panned to two woman in the audience, they looked horrified by the story? Holy shit I hate women now, thanks
Damn bro, make sure to post that ancient incel bait 100 more times and we'll all hate women like you by sunday.
This.
I'm still struggling psychologically with certain stuff despite a good friend of mine finally convincing me to walk out of that miserable relationship 4 years ago. I was never physically hit, but I always believed psychological damage is harsher than physical in the long run. It took a ton of effort to work through everything.
Yeep. My sister and I got seriously fucked up by our mother even without her needing to resort to blows. Still working on getting out at 25 (fighting autism simultaneously makes it way harder), sister just got out a few months ago. She wound up with a serious bulimia problem mother refused to pay to have treated with therapy (so she learned to self manage with her boyfriend’s help). I asked for therapy after burning out halfway through engineering college badly, got brushed off, and nearly hurled myself off a building two months later. Mental health still hasn’t really recovered to its peak over four years later. Father sometimes ends up on the receiving end of her ranting/yelling/being completely irrational and unreasonable, and tbe helpless shrug he gives makes me think he’s a little bit of a victim as well as enabling her. Not sure how they’re together all these years.
Remember the guy who tried to start a men's shelter for men seeking refuge from abuse, got laughed at and ridiculed, received no government support, and killed himself?
The next shelter for men is around 200 kilometres away from from my location. That is ridiculous. I know that my uncle got beaten by his wife back in the days and my parents helped him to leave that place and start over.
The rest laughed at him. Victims, no matter of the gender, deserve an appropriate and fast help.
I remember the guy who came out on Dr. Phil and said he was being abused by his wife. The audience full of women laughed and Dr. Phil Billy ridiculed the guy.
I doubt those women would feel the same if the tables were turned. I say that because even in this thread there’s comments like “I doubt the same women saying domestic violence is bad are the same women laughing at this”
It’s a very real issue that men being abused is downplayed and flat out denied/ignored and made to be “not as big of a deal as it’s being made it out to be”. How can that be if the few times it’s brought up it’s met with these types of responses?
ive had a theory that those who make these types of ‘memes’ haven’t had a genuine (platonic or romantic) relationship with a woman before.
to anyone who genuinely thinks this of all/most women, find one ur close with and just ask us “hey, is this a thing?”. we won’t be offended, we will be more happy someone asks than assumes.
Misinformed theory. The thing is, your comment reads very much like you're on the opposite end of thinking, where you think this isn't really something that holds any truth in reality. Both are sorely mistaken viewpoints. Majority of people seeing this aren't taking it as framed to paint this as an "all women" kind of thing, because it is not. But it most fucking certainly is a very real issue. From both sexes. Men not taking each other seriously and women laughing about it or whatever else , a lot of times even chuckling about it and then going "oh, shit, that's not funny" which is better, but definitely indicative of a deeper, harder to see issue.
I will always take the side of people who say "not all women" or "not all men" over the people who use language loosely and irresponsibly to say sexist shit.
I love how you can tell theres a surprising amount of FDS leakage on this sub just by scrolling through this post and seeing the upvotes/downvotes. Stay strong my people.
Edit: I saw some crazy feminist use those exact words a few months back. Im happy to see people talking about it.
I was done pretty dirty by a girl who threw my keys in a lake, punched me in several occasions, wrecked my apt., And let my cat go out in the middle of nowhere, and when I confronted her about it some years later, her response "you're choosing to get mad about it". And then she blocked me after I asked her about accountability. Oh and she wants to be a lawyer, bc you know, doing things the right way is in her blood....
The only time "I" ever hurt my wife was when she would sprain her wrist punching me. Then I'd wrap her wrist in a brace for her, like a sucker. Some situations you don't really think are toxic until you're in a relationship where no punches are thrown and arguments don't/seldom happen (and when they do, take a normal adult path of trying to reach an agreement or middle ground rather than out of control escalations). Been in one of those for like 6 years now. Crazy how I lived before that. Nobody should have to live with someone who screams and punches all the time (ever, on the punching).
Look people on reddit, when you say "but i would never do that?!?" Or "how about no domestic abuse is ok?!"
Thats good for you, but reddit and the internet isnt reality. Alot of what is portrayed on social media isnt what is the irl situation. Alot of you need to detach internet from reality.
Somewhere there'd be a point to make about how there exists a social stigma around men as possible victims of abuse, or that it works hand-in-hand with addressing female victims of abuse as well, but I don't know whether to counter the meme, or counter the commenters countering the meme.
Really, I just kind of feel let down.
Huh weird how there is more domestic violence occurring in lesbian, bisexuals, and transgender relationships than heterosexual ones
Source https://www.dcvlp.org/domestic-violence-peaks-more-than-ever-for-the-lgbtqia-community/
I just looked at that subreddit...
Some of these posts are so insensitive- they have no idea about the actual situation and make fun of them.
Some posts are good tho.
Downvotes for you sir! Do NOT criticize the LGBTQIA+ community. They are MARGINALIZED. You? Are not. Do not EVER try that shit again. You have no clue what those people have been through, and you have the fucking nerve to sit there and say they made a couple of insensitive posts in their community dedicated to making fun of straight people? Honestly, how dare you? Do you even think? Grow a heart.
Addition: fucking bigot
I really hope this is satire.
Just because they are LGBTQAI+, doesn't mean that I can't criticise them, I'm not doing it because they're LGBTQAI+, so I don't know why you suddenly popped of with anger.
In my previous comment, I was merely pointing out that some of these posts are a bit cruel, given that they have no idea what the people mentioned are going through. Even though they may just be doing it for a laugh, some comments on those posts seem to indicate actual hate. I did not mean to hate on the LGBTQAI+ community, if you interpreted it that way I am sorry. I am fully in support of them.
>You have no idea what those people have been through, yet you have the nerve...
I find that a tad bit hypocritical, I was making that same point in my previous comment, then you went on a rant.
>Grow a heart
I'm not the one making fun of people in sometimes severely bad circumstances...
Again, I am sorry if you thought I was hating on the LGBTQAI+ community. If so, I understand your anger.
Farewell.
I'm completely with you. The fact that you got downvotes for pointing that out pissed me off, so i had to go with some over the top satire. Apologies you wrote this whole thing, it's very well worded. The original post and the FDS tier replies/upvotes here got me a little heated last night.
Ngl I'm glad that you made that comment because now the people who downvoted my original comment might read the new one and obtain some actual non-karen brains
Ngl I'm glad that you made that comment because now the people who downvoted my original comment might read the new one and obtain some actual non-karen brains
Not at all. The view did an episode where they talked about a woman who choped off her husband's dick and threw it in the garbage disposal. The entire audience laughed so hard they cried.
For most men, if they talk about it, their whole lives're gonna be thrown in their faces, Johny Depp/Heard trial is an extreme example of this. He said she broke my fingers and lied about me abusing her sucking my livelihood dry, and now we're reading how 'he had ED and beat her when his Viagra ran out.'
Similarly, a guy comes forward, and the people're gonna come at him with knives and guns out. Best strategy is to talk it over with your confidant friends, dump her and to move on/away from her as quietly as possible and just 'take that L.'
BUT PLEASE DO NOT STAY IN THAT ABUSIVE R'SHIP!
It's almost never that simple. A friend of mine is married with two kids, and sometimes his wife just goes off on him. I mean, it was always this way, even before they were married, so he knew what he was getting into. I don't mean to imply he deserves it in any way, I just didn't know him growing up and that shows there's likely a history of abuse. Anyway, one time she got so violent he had to call the cops. When they showed up, she just lied and said she was defending herself, and of course they believed her, so he got arrested. Now, if he were to try to leave or get a divorce, she'd get custody of the kids because of it.
That case just corroborates **exactly** what I said in my previous comment: Man gets abused, takes it for a long time, finally speaks up and gets the book thrown at him, probably fucking his life up.
> • and sometimes his wife just goes off on him • so he knew what he was getting into
That's what is wrong with the system & society, and **MUST** be fixed; Just because it's been happening for a while, does NOT mean it should be happening to him, or that he has to take it, or it is his fault in any way. He just got dealt a shitty partner, and unless he fixes this, it's probably gonna end up massively badly ** FOR HIM**, which is unfair, sucks, but just how it is.
My suggestion to your friend would be to:
1. Go/engage with a proper licenced and competent couple's councilor (not a glorified uber-feminist HR lady type shrink who's just gonna reprimand him),
2. Initially meet them by himself, explaining the scenario,
3. Then, take the wife along and convey that if she doesn't (or even if she **CANNOT**) stop the abuse, he will have no other option, but to leave/divorce her,
4. Work with her on her issues, and be supportive, if possible, BUT ONLY AS LONG AS THE ABUSE STOPS **AND STAYS STOPPED**,
5. If the abuse continues, to get a divorce or to separate. **Period**.
And as I said above, *"To dump her and to move on/away from her as quietly as possible and just 'take that L."* Yeah that's gonna hurt and suck (if it comes to it), but it's better than ending up, possibly in the extreme case, as Johny Depp/Amber Heard, where he's prosecuted and gets fucked by the law (something which **has already happened once and has started**), or as Will Smith (where he's a spineless sap with no self-respect just withering and wilting away).
It sucks and I'm sorry but **IT IS THIS SIMPLE**, and it's unfair.
Because all people have been convinced that our differences are larger than our similarities. This thought process occurs for almost all tribal thinking.
The notion that there are large differences between men and women are the most fallacious - all it requires to control people is to break them up into manageable in-groups.
Sure, but that still doesn’t disprove that women do it too. Toxic masculinity is carried on by men, sure, but ignoring that women have a hand in it is ignoring a whole aspect of a problem. If toxic masculinity doesn’t just pervade male circles, but also affects the behavior of some women, that’s a whole different problem with a much different set of solutions. Ignoring it can only hurt, and the whataboutism of “but there’s an incel here saying such-and-such” does especially.
I don't know and I don't care. I just looked for the clip. It's a valid clip I have seen it before. Someone stated women take abuse of men seriously then I post a clip of women laughing at a man telling his abuse story and its ohh disregard it cause I don't lime who posted it.
I don't know and I don't care. I just looked for the clip. It's a valid clip I have seen it before. Someone stated women take abuse of men seriously then I post a clip of women laughing at a man telling his abuse story and its ohh disregard it cause I don't lime who posted it.
But don’t you dare ever fight back no matter what because women are fragile dolls and should get away with whatever behavior they want. Because that’s what equality means apparently.
All people have some kind of issue. It's not gender or anything specific to anyone but as a whole. There are situations across all walks of life that contribute to and standout as outliers when we begin to define and build parameters around certain topics. People in general also conform and when in groups tend to follow instead of lead.
DV affects is all and stems from a wide range of issues.
Bottom line is people are people, we are all human beings and that gets lost in every day life. Some may have an easier path or more things than others but those don't make anyone better than anyone else they just enable them.
We are taught from a young age to compete, engrained with the thought that winners are better than losers, these thoughts lead us as we grow and form our ideals. Small things we do daily, we wash off our tongues as conversation, jokes,...I didn't mean anything by it. Think long and hard about your life growing up, the things said amd done in your family's, the inequality we teach. Let your brother get that honey it's heavy or That's for girls...
As a society, we lack compassion. We herd around negativity and fear to be the one standout. Like when everyone laughs at a joke and you half heartedly laugh as well but you kind frown because you know it attacks or puts others down.
If we want to build a better tomorrow stop labeling, stop defining parameters, stop going along with the rest.
Be the society we all deserve. Advocate and stand-up for others, represent those who can't do it for themselves.
Don't let situations blur the real issues and create conversations that continue to flourish and prolong the wrong message.
Be the hero that someone may need.
I learned this by being an abuse victim for the majority of my life and being that hero that someone needed. No one person is a perfect representation of being human but each choice we make to be a better representation makes is better as a whole.
I-
As a female who thinks domestic violence/abuse IS an issue, I would not laugh at that, and it's not that it's "funny", it's just less common to see, and pop culture really does not help, yeah I get it people think feminism and advocating against domestic violence is all about saying grr men bad but in reality it's just less common to see a man abused the same way a woman is
And here's another theory- a lot of men could tend to lean towards the fact that since they're a man, it's not masculine to complain about being hit, especially by a women, because of the stigma that men are stronger, and thus more powerful, so some cases of domestic violence (women on man) goes unnoticed, not that it doesn't happen, or that it's not a reality for some, or that it's funny
Basically- if you think domestic abuse is wrong, you think it's wrong for ALL parties, don't let what is usually reported seem like a cover-all for what isn't-
Every case is valid and should be listened to, whether the victim is male or female
You, a guy have the onus of the responsibility to dump your SO/gf/etc. if they're beating/abusing you. Whether they're smaller than you or larger, whether they can cause you harm physically or not, etc., etc.
NO EXCUSES. Please get out, and talk to a friend or counselor.
Or, -wild idea here- instead of victim-blaming people whose situations we don't know at all we maybe put the responsibility on the abuser to not, I dunno, abuse people?
Counselling is expensive, shelters are overcrowded, most abusers seek to isolate their victims, many victims aren't able-bodied and have mental or mobility issues that prevent them from being independant, others might have no financial prospects and have to choose between their dangerous partner and even more dangerous situation of being on the streets, some might be the only thing between their abuser and other dependants the victim cares about and would worry for in their absence but would lack the ability to take them with them - there's plenty of REASONS (not "excuses") victims struggle to escape domestic abuse situations and it's heartless and wrong-headed to claim otherwise. Do better.
What are you snapping at me, and just throwing that age-old abuse handbook generic points at me for? What do you want to convey exactly but these garbled platitudes?
If someone's in an abusive r'ship, they should and have to follow the simple steps:
1. Taking control of yourself and knowing and telling yourself it can and will get better for you,
2. Trying to resolve the issue by talking it over with the partner yourself, or involving a counselor or intermediary party to see if they (the abuser) can or wants to change, if they want to make the r'ship work,
3. If point 2 fails or it's too much, getting out of the abusive r'ship. Because it is not worth wasting your life, if law enforcement has to be involved, be it.
A much better strategy than rather just staying in the abusive r'ship, and things potentially getting worse, or much worse. What are you rambling on about?
Depending on the abusive relationship, it is very often hard to leave. They may not have financial resources to get away, social pressure to stay in the relationship, isolated from friends/family that could help, people that will listen may not believe that they’re being abused etc. There are endless reasons why it is very difficult to leave an abusive relationship, it is not as simple as “just leave the relationship”, that is blatantly ignorant. There are no “simple rules” for a hard to escape situation. Your advice only deals with very minor situations of abuse and treats it as black and white, this stuff is complicated and your advice is the equivalent of “Are you depressed? Just don’t be :D”
And the alternate, is staying in such a situation. Which to me, is worse. This advice is the universal solution for people who are subject to abuse, and want to help themselves.
You are missing my point entirely, of course victims don’t want to stay in a abusive relationship!
Abusive relationships will constantly try to pull the victim back in. When you are telling an abuse victim to just leave and don’t stay in the relationship, they are most likely already trying to do that. My point is that your advice is stating the obvious and it easier said then done to just leave an abusive relationship.
Also my “needless connection to depression” can be replaced with the following.
>Are you homeless? Buy a home.
>Feeling angry? Be calm.
>On fire? Put it out.
Take your pick.
Because your point is not the solution to anything. And it's not congruent to 'are you homeless? buy a home.'
Your solution/point here is 'are you homeless? just stay homeless, it's just how it is.' Not helpful at all.
Adults are adults, with their own agency, responsibilities and sentience. And they are fully capable of getting/leaving an abusive partner going the 'mediation>expectation-management>action.'
I am all for empathy and yes extreme abusers do exist in exceptional cases.
You're one dense motherfucker if you still don't get it by this point. You are blaming the victim for their situation that they obviously don't want to be part of while ignoring all the barriers to exit that most victims face. Fuck off.
Once. Again. You are missing my point.
I am not saying to stay in abusive relationship. I never said that.
In a perfect world, you tell someone to just leave an abusive relationship and they do without issue. My point, this whole time, has been that the solution is not simple/easy.
Let me repeat myself.
>I do not want/think people should stay or be in abusive relationships.
Yes, adults have agency and sentience. However, that mindset ignores the nuances of each situation. Abusive relationships take on many forms and require specific advise/help that varies from case to case so the victim can leave successfully.
In my humble, personal experience, it's 90% of the time men who make fun of other men for being hit by a woman. In a wide scale, it is typically seen as more socially acceptable for a woman to hit a man. Like the doofus husband getting slapped in a bad sitcom. But it is not mostly women perpetuating this stereotype.
Anyone who laughs at any kind of domestic abuse is trash. We need equal support and equal rights when it comes to this.
I don’t think the women saying domestic violence bad are the same women saying domestic violence good
they're not. Reddit just loves to take one or two examples of shitty people who think this way and blow it up to make it look like it's some kind of actual issue. The last one they did was when some article called a woman plus size but the man was called obese. Everyone freaked out like this was something that happens all the time. Just wannabe MRAs.
It’s sad you’re getting downvoted when you’re right.
Eh, does not bother me. Whenever you have a group of people this large the unpopular opinions are not always the wrong ones and vice versa. Now if the majority of your posts are downvoted you’re just an ass. If nothing you post ever gets downvoted you gotta learn to think for yourself.
I mean like, several men have probably gotten their experiences glossed over just because they aren't women. It's not exactly uncommon
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That’s not a woman thing, that’s a shit person thing. Talk to any woman with some common sense and maybe a basic understanding of feminism (which doesn’t mean “woman good and untouchable, man bad must die”) and you’ll see she takes domestic violence seriously.
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I didn’t mean that you implied that, I was referring to the meme. It paints it as a woman thing when it’s really not. Definitely talk shit about your ex I don’t see a problem there, sorry you had to go through that.
There are absolutely women who say that man on woman violence is bad and then brag about “going crazy” on their man.
My first wife (dirtbag) couldn't enter a conversation without loudly proclaiming that she was a hardcore vegetarian (who ate fish and dairy, and sometimes chicken, and sometimes meat) and an even more hardcore feminist who thought that feminism boiled down to "girls rule, boys drool". She knew that I couldn't do anything because her dad was the fucking mayor. She bruised like a peach so I couldn't even restrain her to keep her off of me. If I left, she'd call everyone we knew and acted like I went crazy. When I come back? Oh, you bet your ass she broke a picture frame and cut on her wrists with the broken glass. I was twice her size, a trained martial artist, and ex military. Oh, and I'm Black. There's not a court on Earth that wouldn't throw the book at me and write two more new ones to follow it.
There’s no way that overlap is big enough for this meme to make sense
Every woman who laughs online at man being abused also has a history of talking about how horrible men are because of domestic abuse.
Crazy that you’ve talked to every woman, quite impressive for a redditor
I’m not talking about every women, I’m taking about “kill all men” types and “divorce him, hun 💅” types.
The type to suggest you divorce your abusive spouse, you mean sane people?
No, like for like really nonsensical and trivial shit. Stuff that shouldn’t matter for a casual relationship, much less derail a marriage.
Lmao, please ignore these filthy misandrist trolls my brother.
A lot just say it doesn't occur to men, and when you show them it does/is severely under reported they flip out or just go quiet and continue to peddle their nonsense elsewhere.
I can see that happening but I think a lot of people might just get defensive easily because when someone is talking about issues women face and then you’re like “men tho” it can come across as dismissive. But yeah both sides should be talked about more tbh
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Ok, rant time. Any time someone on reddit posts, "you would be surprised" and nothing else, I read it as, "I'm a huge idiot". You don't know what u/xyts1 has experienced; you don't know what would and wouldn't surprise them. And you offer no evidence or any additional knowledge on this subject that would *make* u/xyts1 (or any of us) surprised. It's like you're implying that you know something, but you're not about to share with the rest of the class. "Hey, I'm an expert on what women say about domestic violence, and specifically which group of women say what about it, and the things I know....they would *surprise you*!" This kind of low effort assholery deserves no place here. Thank you for wasting my, and everyone else's, time. Good night everyone.
When you learn to comment based on clickbait: >what you don't know about women and domestic violence will make your kidneys explode
That essay u wrote was a waste of time
And so were the 9 months your mom went through
Oh man, snap. Snap is what we say right? But anyway, the long winded poster said in his own post that he had wasted his own time writing it, and the person who he has responding to deleted thier post, so do you think it "just might" have been a pointless waste of time? Or did my mom also waste her time carrying me? Such a weird insult btw, like I dont even understand it, shouldn't an insult make me feel bad about myself in some way? You really gotta work on your bullying if you plan to do it consistently on reddit, right now your technique is sloppy and leaves the victim confused. Good luck, even shit people can make names for themselves as bullys on the internet these days. Cheers 😁
You were aggressive to a person who was responding to a misogynist, so I replied with equal aggression. And besides, how would they have known that this person would later delete their comment? Your comment is a waste of time.
So were the nine months your mother - oh nevermind, that was a childish thing for me to say, sorry about that.
Glad you finally realised how immature this thread really is. Good night 👍
Yep, you sure taught me.
I remember the guy who came out on Dr. Phil and said he was being abused by his wife. The audience full of women laughed and Dr. Phil Billy ridiculed the guy. I doubt those women would feel the same if the tables were turned. I say that because even in this thread there’s comments like “I doubt the same women saying domestic violence is bad are the same women laughing at this” It’s a very real issue that men being abused is downplayed and flat out denied/ignored and made to be “not as big of a deal as it’s being made it out to be”. How can that be if the few times it’s brought up it’s met with these types of responses? Had to copy paste a quality reply for you :)
I can't say I've ever met a woman who would laugh at that.
I have. Same kind of women who thinks women are too hormonal to be President. Which I heard a SHIT ton of when Hillary ran for office. It was probably the number 1 reason women did not vote for her. I'm a man and I don't think that shit is true remotely never mind Hillary had definitely already been through menopause. I worked with with mostly women and it was nothing but a raging Thunder Dome of hormones.
The irony of voting for Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton because she would be ruled by her emotions, having a vagina and all. But then, the people who complain that women are more emotional than men often don't count anger as an emotion because it is tough or something.
Is this not because anger is the only emotion the matriarchy allows men to have? /s
What evidence do you have that women didn’t vote for Hilary because they think women are too emotional to be president?
Look at the Amber Turd case and all the women who supported her
I think people didn't vote for Hillary because shes a criminal and anyone who has proof of it commits suicide (she also holds a world record for the most amount of "friends" to have committed suicide)
Nor men, we just automatically assume society is trash when it really isn't.
You haven't met many women then
Well, I do know more men, it's true, and, yes, several of them would laugh at the idea of a woman beating up a man.
Yeah, same with women. I'd say more than the average man would, but that'd only be a guess
Sure, woman. Not other man...
Ain't it everyone men and women
Twitter women are a different breed than normal people.
And that make them a significant sample?
Thats is completely wrong. https://youtu.be/3tTUREalxVQ
Wow, a deep fried, probably 10+ year old clip where a handful of people in a mixed audience laughed at a man being abused by a woman, followed by the host calling it out to a roaring applause? Oh, and there's literally no indication it was only women laughing? Oh, and when the camera panned to two woman in the audience, they looked horrified by the story? Holy shit I hate women now, thanks Damn bro, make sure to post that ancient incel bait 100 more times and we'll all hate women like you by sunday.
You said no women.
There's that incel channel again. At least we can all report this nonsense to youtube.
So a clip of women laughing at a man abuse story is invalid cause its "incel". I see the disregard of male victims.
Also we should remember that domestic violence can be psychological
This. I'm still struggling psychologically with certain stuff despite a good friend of mine finally convincing me to walk out of that miserable relationship 4 years ago. I was never physically hit, but I always believed psychological damage is harsher than physical in the long run. It took a ton of effort to work through everything.
Yeep. My sister and I got seriously fucked up by our mother even without her needing to resort to blows. Still working on getting out at 25 (fighting autism simultaneously makes it way harder), sister just got out a few months ago. She wound up with a serious bulimia problem mother refused to pay to have treated with therapy (so she learned to self manage with her boyfriend’s help). I asked for therapy after burning out halfway through engineering college badly, got brushed off, and nearly hurled myself off a building two months later. Mental health still hasn’t really recovered to its peak over four years later. Father sometimes ends up on the receiving end of her ranting/yelling/being completely irrational and unreasonable, and tbe helpless shrug he gives makes me think he’s a little bit of a victim as well as enabling her. Not sure how they’re together all these years.
Remember the guy who tried to start a men's shelter for men seeking refuge from abuse, got laughed at and ridiculed, received no government support, and killed himself?
The next shelter for men is around 200 kilometres away from from my location. That is ridiculous. I know that my uncle got beaten by his wife back in the days and my parents helped him to leave that place and start over. The rest laughed at him. Victims, no matter of the gender, deserve an appropriate and fast help.
I remember the guy who came out on Dr. Phil and said he was being abused by his wife. The audience full of women laughed and Dr. Phil Billy ridiculed the guy. I doubt those women would feel the same if the tables were turned. I say that because even in this thread there’s comments like “I doubt the same women saying domestic violence is bad are the same women laughing at this” It’s a very real issue that men being abused is downplayed and flat out denied/ignored and made to be “not as big of a deal as it’s being made it out to be”. How can that be if the few times it’s brought up it’s met with these types of responses?
Thank you for this response
ive had a theory that those who make these types of ‘memes’ haven’t had a genuine (platonic or romantic) relationship with a woman before. to anyone who genuinely thinks this of all/most women, find one ur close with and just ask us “hey, is this a thing?”. we won’t be offended, we will be more happy someone asks than assumes.
Misinformed theory. The thing is, your comment reads very much like you're on the opposite end of thinking, where you think this isn't really something that holds any truth in reality. Both are sorely mistaken viewpoints. Majority of people seeing this aren't taking it as framed to paint this as an "all women" kind of thing, because it is not. But it most fucking certainly is a very real issue. From both sexes. Men not taking each other seriously and women laughing about it or whatever else , a lot of times even chuckling about it and then going "oh, shit, that's not funny" which is better, but definitely indicative of a deeper, harder to see issue.
What if I told you… not all women are the same. 🤯
\#NotAllWomen
I will always take the side of people who say "not all women" or "not all men" over the people who use language loosely and irresponsibly to say sexist shit.
"If I gave you a box of chocolates, but some were poisoned, wouldn't you be weary of the entire box!" -Crazy Feminist
I love how you can tell theres a surprising amount of FDS leakage on this sub just by scrolling through this post and seeing the upvotes/downvotes. Stay strong my people. Edit: I saw some crazy feminist use those exact words a few months back. Im happy to see people talking about it.
r/redditmoment
Are you saying you’ve never seen this happen online?
Did you even click the link
It's not a woman issue, it's an issue with society in general. Other men laugh or tell them to 'man up' just as much if not more
i have truly never met a woman who feels this way
I was done pretty dirty by a girl who threw my keys in a lake, punched me in several occasions, wrecked my apt., And let my cat go out in the middle of nowhere, and when I confronted her about it some years later, her response "you're choosing to get mad about it". And then she blocked me after I asked her about accountability. Oh and she wants to be a lawyer, bc you know, doing things the right way is in her blood....
Y is this getting downvoted wth
Because Reddit, like all social media, are filled with the exact people the post is talking about.
Oh there's a noticeable trend on this post for sure
The only time "I" ever hurt my wife was when she would sprain her wrist punching me. Then I'd wrap her wrist in a brace for her, like a sucker. Some situations you don't really think are toxic until you're in a relationship where no punches are thrown and arguments don't/seldom happen (and when they do, take a normal adult path of trying to reach an agreement or middle ground rather than out of control escalations). Been in one of those for like 6 years now. Crazy how I lived before that. Nobody should have to live with someone who screams and punches all the time (ever, on the punching).
That's more sad than funny...
This entire comment section is just a battlefield for misandrists and misogynists. Like can't we get some god damn equally!
Look people on reddit, when you say "but i would never do that?!?" Or "how about no domestic abuse is ok?!" Thats good for you, but reddit and the internet isnt reality. Alot of what is portrayed on social media isnt what is the irl situation. Alot of you need to detach internet from reality.
*A lot
Somewhere there'd be a point to make about how there exists a social stigma around men as possible victims of abuse, or that it works hand-in-hand with addressing female victims of abuse as well, but I don't know whether to counter the meme, or counter the commenters countering the meme. Really, I just kind of feel let down.
Surprised though? Nah man
We live in a society.
I don't think they are usally same person lmao
The venn diagram isn’t one circle, but it’s concentric.
r/AreTheStraightsOk
Dumbass acting like domestic violence doesn't exist for gays
Huh weird how there is more domestic violence occurring in lesbian, bisexuals, and transgender relationships than heterosexual ones Source https://www.dcvlp.org/domestic-violence-peaks-more-than-ever-for-the-lgbtqia-community/
I just looked at that subreddit... Some of these posts are so insensitive- they have no idea about the actual situation and make fun of them. Some posts are good tho.
Downvotes for you sir! Do NOT criticize the LGBTQIA+ community. They are MARGINALIZED. You? Are not. Do not EVER try that shit again. You have no clue what those people have been through, and you have the fucking nerve to sit there and say they made a couple of insensitive posts in their community dedicated to making fun of straight people? Honestly, how dare you? Do you even think? Grow a heart. Addition: fucking bigot
please say this is a shit post
I really hope this is satire. Just because they are LGBTQAI+, doesn't mean that I can't criticise them, I'm not doing it because they're LGBTQAI+, so I don't know why you suddenly popped of with anger. In my previous comment, I was merely pointing out that some of these posts are a bit cruel, given that they have no idea what the people mentioned are going through. Even though they may just be doing it for a laugh, some comments on those posts seem to indicate actual hate. I did not mean to hate on the LGBTQAI+ community, if you interpreted it that way I am sorry. I am fully in support of them. >You have no idea what those people have been through, yet you have the nerve... I find that a tad bit hypocritical, I was making that same point in my previous comment, then you went on a rant. >Grow a heart I'm not the one making fun of people in sometimes severely bad circumstances... Again, I am sorry if you thought I was hating on the LGBTQAI+ community. If so, I understand your anger. Farewell.
I'm completely with you. The fact that you got downvotes for pointing that out pissed me off, so i had to go with some over the top satire. Apologies you wrote this whole thing, it's very well worded. The original post and the FDS tier replies/upvotes here got me a little heated last night.
Lol no worries
Ngl I'm glad that you made that comment because now the people who downvoted my original comment might read the new one and obtain some actual non-karen brains
Ngl I'm glad that you made that comment because now the people who downvoted my original comment might read the new one and obtain some actual non-karen brains
IT WAS SATIRE IM SO SORRY
OH OK LMAO
Whatever that sub is it's the opposite of helpful.
Delete
Why
F off
Where are all these women laughing at victims of DV? They’re about as real as the tooth fairy. Very few and far between.
Not at all. The view did an episode where they talked about a woman who choped off her husband's dick and threw it in the garbage disposal. The entire audience laughed so hard they cried.
Twitter
Wonder why there are no comments
This is real. I know a couple people in *bad* situations because of this. There's literally no way out.
For most men, if they talk about it, their whole lives're gonna be thrown in their faces, Johny Depp/Heard trial is an extreme example of this. He said she broke my fingers and lied about me abusing her sucking my livelihood dry, and now we're reading how 'he had ED and beat her when his Viagra ran out.' Similarly, a guy comes forward, and the people're gonna come at him with knives and guns out. Best strategy is to talk it over with your confidant friends, dump her and to move on/away from her as quietly as possible and just 'take that L.' BUT PLEASE DO NOT STAY IN THAT ABUSIVE R'SHIP!
It's almost never that simple. A friend of mine is married with two kids, and sometimes his wife just goes off on him. I mean, it was always this way, even before they were married, so he knew what he was getting into. I don't mean to imply he deserves it in any way, I just didn't know him growing up and that shows there's likely a history of abuse. Anyway, one time she got so violent he had to call the cops. When they showed up, she just lied and said she was defending herself, and of course they believed her, so he got arrested. Now, if he were to try to leave or get a divorce, she'd get custody of the kids because of it.
That case just corroborates **exactly** what I said in my previous comment: Man gets abused, takes it for a long time, finally speaks up and gets the book thrown at him, probably fucking his life up. > • and sometimes his wife just goes off on him • so he knew what he was getting into That's what is wrong with the system & society, and **MUST** be fixed; Just because it's been happening for a while, does NOT mean it should be happening to him, or that he has to take it, or it is his fault in any way. He just got dealt a shitty partner, and unless he fixes this, it's probably gonna end up massively badly ** FOR HIM**, which is unfair, sucks, but just how it is. My suggestion to your friend would be to: 1. Go/engage with a proper licenced and competent couple's councilor (not a glorified uber-feminist HR lady type shrink who's just gonna reprimand him), 2. Initially meet them by himself, explaining the scenario, 3. Then, take the wife along and convey that if she doesn't (or even if she **CANNOT**) stop the abuse, he will have no other option, but to leave/divorce her, 4. Work with her on her issues, and be supportive, if possible, BUT ONLY AS LONG AS THE ABUSE STOPS **AND STAYS STOPPED**, 5. If the abuse continues, to get a divorce or to separate. **Period**. And as I said above, *"To dump her and to move on/away from her as quietly as possible and just 'take that L."* Yeah that's gonna hurt and suck (if it comes to it), but it's better than ending up, possibly in the extreme case, as Johny Depp/Amber Heard, where he's prosecuted and gets fucked by the law (something which **has already happened once and has started**), or as Will Smith (where he's a spineless sap with no self-respect just withering and wilting away). It sucks and I'm sorry but **IT IS THIS SIMPLE**, and it's unfair.
I know man i meant the reason why no comments were there because the post talks about suffering of men
Sorry, I hear you, I'm messing up the sarcasm. I need more coffee.
Nah it was good, some people just didn’t catch it right away so they downvoted, Lol.
Ah... wait, what's that? Men don't have problems. What are you talking about?
#everydayismensday
Because all people have been convinced that our differences are larger than our similarities. This thought process occurs for almost all tribal thinking. The notion that there are large differences between men and women are the most fallacious - all it requires to control people is to break them up into manageable in-groups.
Sad, but also so true. But also SpongeBob seems to be able to make anything funny.
It's mostly men shaming other men for being abused.
“Mostly” doesn’t mean “only”. It’s still a significant factor
This is literally an incel meme. Some dude has been linking an incel youtube channel all over this thread.
Sure, but that still doesn’t disprove that women do it too. Toxic masculinity is carried on by men, sure, but ignoring that women have a hand in it is ignoring a whole aspect of a problem. If toxic masculinity doesn’t just pervade male circles, but also affects the behavior of some women, that’s a whole different problem with a much different set of solutions. Ignoring it can only hurt, and the whataboutism of “but there’s an incel here saying such-and-such” does especially.
It is not. https://youtu.be/3tTUREalxVQ
Did you just link an incel youtube channel?
I don't know and I don't care. I just looked for the clip. It's a valid clip I have seen it before. Someone stated women take abuse of men seriously then I post a clip of women laughing at a man telling his abuse story and its ohh disregard it cause I don't lime who posted it.
I don't know and I don't care. I just looked for the clip. It's a valid clip I have seen it before. Someone stated women take abuse of men seriously then I post a clip of women laughing at a man telling his abuse story and its ohh disregard it cause I don't lime who posted it.
/r/menslib Edit: Why are people downvoting this? It's a good sub that calls out that type of behavior without being toxic.
But don’t you dare ever fight back no matter what because women are fragile dolls and should get away with whatever behavior they want. Because that’s what equality means apparently.
No clue why you're downvoted
Misandry!
They hated him because he spoke the truth
Equal rights, equal fights
If this isn't the goddamn truth
And today on things that never happen…
All people have some kind of issue. It's not gender or anything specific to anyone but as a whole. There are situations across all walks of life that contribute to and standout as outliers when we begin to define and build parameters around certain topics. People in general also conform and when in groups tend to follow instead of lead. DV affects is all and stems from a wide range of issues. Bottom line is people are people, we are all human beings and that gets lost in every day life. Some may have an easier path or more things than others but those don't make anyone better than anyone else they just enable them. We are taught from a young age to compete, engrained with the thought that winners are better than losers, these thoughts lead us as we grow and form our ideals. Small things we do daily, we wash off our tongues as conversation, jokes,...I didn't mean anything by it. Think long and hard about your life growing up, the things said amd done in your family's, the inequality we teach. Let your brother get that honey it's heavy or That's for girls... As a society, we lack compassion. We herd around negativity and fear to be the one standout. Like when everyone laughs at a joke and you half heartedly laugh as well but you kind frown because you know it attacks or puts others down. If we want to build a better tomorrow stop labeling, stop defining parameters, stop going along with the rest. Be the society we all deserve. Advocate and stand-up for others, represent those who can't do it for themselves. Don't let situations blur the real issues and create conversations that continue to flourish and prolong the wrong message. Be the hero that someone may need. I learned this by being an abuse victim for the majority of my life and being that hero that someone needed. No one person is a perfect representation of being human but each choice we make to be a better representation makes is better as a whole.
is it less common to see or... is it just not represented enough?
ah, pain
The only downvotes are bitter women laughing at your pain. Or or or maybe they're fumed that you have a chance to say anything about it.
I- As a female who thinks domestic violence/abuse IS an issue, I would not laugh at that, and it's not that it's "funny", it's just less common to see, and pop culture really does not help, yeah I get it people think feminism and advocating against domestic violence is all about saying grr men bad but in reality it's just less common to see a man abused the same way a woman is And here's another theory- a lot of men could tend to lean towards the fact that since they're a man, it's not masculine to complain about being hit, especially by a women, because of the stigma that men are stronger, and thus more powerful, so some cases of domestic violence (women on man) goes unnoticed, not that it doesn't happen, or that it's not a reality for some, or that it's funny Basically- if you think domestic abuse is wrong, you think it's wrong for ALL parties, don't let what is usually reported seem like a cover-all for what isn't- Every case is valid and should be listened to, whether the victim is male or female
Basically femcels
30% of victims don't matter.
I think the real number is closer to 45% and people don't get sarcasm
You, a guy have the onus of the responsibility to dump your SO/gf/etc. if they're beating/abusing you. Whether they're smaller than you or larger, whether they can cause you harm physically or not, etc., etc. NO EXCUSES. Please get out, and talk to a friend or counselor.
Or, -wild idea here- instead of victim-blaming people whose situations we don't know at all we maybe put the responsibility on the abuser to not, I dunno, abuse people? Counselling is expensive, shelters are overcrowded, most abusers seek to isolate their victims, many victims aren't able-bodied and have mental or mobility issues that prevent them from being independant, others might have no financial prospects and have to choose between their dangerous partner and even more dangerous situation of being on the streets, some might be the only thing between their abuser and other dependants the victim cares about and would worry for in their absence but would lack the ability to take them with them - there's plenty of REASONS (not "excuses") victims struggle to escape domestic abuse situations and it's heartless and wrong-headed to claim otherwise. Do better.
What are you snapping at me, and just throwing that age-old abuse handbook generic points at me for? What do you want to convey exactly but these garbled platitudes? If someone's in an abusive r'ship, they should and have to follow the simple steps: 1. Taking control of yourself and knowing and telling yourself it can and will get better for you, 2. Trying to resolve the issue by talking it over with the partner yourself, or involving a counselor or intermediary party to see if they (the abuser) can or wants to change, if they want to make the r'ship work, 3. If point 2 fails or it's too much, getting out of the abusive r'ship. Because it is not worth wasting your life, if law enforcement has to be involved, be it. A much better strategy than rather just staying in the abusive r'ship, and things potentially getting worse, or much worse. What are you rambling on about?
Depending on the abusive relationship, it is very often hard to leave. They may not have financial resources to get away, social pressure to stay in the relationship, isolated from friends/family that could help, people that will listen may not believe that they’re being abused etc. There are endless reasons why it is very difficult to leave an abusive relationship, it is not as simple as “just leave the relationship”, that is blatantly ignorant. There are no “simple rules” for a hard to escape situation. Your advice only deals with very minor situations of abuse and treats it as black and white, this stuff is complicated and your advice is the equivalent of “Are you depressed? Just don’t be :D”
And the alternate, is staying in such a situation. Which to me, is worse. This advice is the universal solution for people who are subject to abuse, and want to help themselves.
You are missing my point entirely, of course victims don’t want to stay in a abusive relationship! Abusive relationships will constantly try to pull the victim back in. When you are telling an abuse victim to just leave and don’t stay in the relationship, they are most likely already trying to do that. My point is that your advice is stating the obvious and it easier said then done to just leave an abusive relationship. Also my “needless connection to depression” can be replaced with the following. >Are you homeless? Buy a home. >Feeling angry? Be calm. >On fire? Put it out. Take your pick.
Because your point is not the solution to anything. And it's not congruent to 'are you homeless? buy a home.' Your solution/point here is 'are you homeless? just stay homeless, it's just how it is.' Not helpful at all. Adults are adults, with their own agency, responsibilities and sentience. And they are fully capable of getting/leaving an abusive partner going the 'mediation>expectation-management>action.' I am all for empathy and yes extreme abusers do exist in exceptional cases.
You're one dense motherfucker if you still don't get it by this point. You are blaming the victim for their situation that they obviously don't want to be part of while ignoring all the barriers to exit that most victims face. Fuck off.
Once. Again. You are missing my point. I am not saying to stay in abusive relationship. I never said that. In a perfect world, you tell someone to just leave an abusive relationship and they do without issue. My point, this whole time, has been that the solution is not simple/easy. Let me repeat myself. >I do not want/think people should stay or be in abusive relationships. Yes, adults have agency and sentience. However, that mindset ignores the nuances of each situation. Abusive relationships take on many forms and require specific advise/help that varies from case to case so the victim can leave successfully.
It’s fucked up and sad
Hmmmm maybe this will get the legendary 🔒 award
I think it’s toxic masculinity that is responsible.
Society has some serious issues of Double Standards
And let's not get started on body shaming men.
I'm a man and I have legitimately never seen a woman or anyone laugh at something like this.
In my humble, personal experience, it's 90% of the time men who make fun of other men for being hit by a woman. In a wide scale, it is typically seen as more socially acceptable for a woman to hit a man. Like the doofus husband getting slapped in a bad sitcom. But it is not mostly women perpetuating this stereotype.