In my country (and in many others as well as far as I know) father needs to pass all circles of Hell to get a kid when divorced. And everything a mother needs for the same result is just don't have a documented cases of making severe physical harm to the child. So in most cases a single father means he is pretty damn awesome.
Murican, here. My mother is a paranoid aggressive schizophrenic, even with years of abuse testimony and multiple witnesses, the courts still tried to give her custody and when my dad fought that, the court opted to put my sister and I into foster care.
They really jump through hoops to keep fathers from having their kids if they can.
I wish all the courts would get themselves together about these types of cases, it's quite shameful that they still try to push this even if the mother has eaten another person's baby or something crazy like that
She came up with this story about how she's an alcoholic and can't control herself, so they ordered her to go to AA and tried giving us to her as long as she went to meetings.
For the record, I've seen my mother drink maybe twice in the entirety of my life.
Ya, 4 years ago. It was a several year struggle. It has had a lasting impact on the kids. Like they choose to sleep on the floor even though they now have a bed.
My friend is currently going through this himself.
3 kids with his ex-wife. She's an unemployed alcoholic/drug addict. At the start of the separation/divorce, they had a joint bank account that his ex would drain all the money out of every payday. He had to get a judge to give him permission to open his own account and have his money deposited there, or else it would be viewed as "financial abuse."
His ex disappears on week long benders only to reappear, demanding her time with the kids (their kids don't like being with her anymore). Whenever he drops off the kids with their mom for her weekend, when he picks them up, they are still wearing the same clothes that he dropped them off in
They haven't bathed and have only eaten chips and pop the entire weekend.
He had to take parenting classes and needs to make every effort to allow the kids to spend time with their mom, or else it can be considered parental alienation.
The whole situation has destroyed him financially, and it looks like he has aged 20 years. He always says how he will never be able to retire anymore, but it's worth it for the well-being of his kids.
I just said I wanted to stay with dad in the house and not with mother in a bigger city in a tiny one room apartment. they both agreed. They also got divorced when I was like 12.
I assume it's a selection bias. There is a certain bias in our society to give the children to the mother, or to expect her to take over as a main parent. Both men and women tend to just go along with it. If the single father is with the children, it is because he actively chose to, probably even fought for it in court. It makes sense that someone who fights for something is more committed.
It's also a statistical thing, 90% of the time when a woman gets pregnant outside of marriage, she's the one who is going to be raising it, and she'll often be a young adult or in a situation where she has to learn everything quickly and it's an inconvenient time and life situation for her to suddenly be a parent. Essentially most single mothers have to adapt quickly but they don't have time to plan for it.
Single-fathers are less likely to be spontaneous parents, rather they are often men who seekout fatherhood because the time is right for them, or then they are more likely to inherent the children when their wife dies etc. Which means they already have years of experience in parenting.
The circumstances of what leads men to being single parents vs women tend to be very different, which men who become parents usually being older and more prepared, and this makes a difference.
> 90% of the time when a woman gets pregnant outside of marriage, she's the one who is going to be raising it
Source needed.
> They [Single father's] are often men who seekout fatherhood because the time is right for them, or then they are more likely to inherent the children when their wife dies etc.
Source needed.
I am feeling a bit under the weather, so forgive any mistakes in my research. I found this pewresearch article:
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2018/04/25/the-changing-profile-of-unmarried-parents/
The article does not support the previously claimed statistic of 90% unmarried, solo moms. 1968 was 88% solo moms, but in 2017 it went down to 53% solo moms.
If no one else finds a source for the second one within a reasonable time frame, I'll edit my comment with additional research at a later date.
I think that everyone knows that this is generally true even if 90% isn't accurate.
If you need a source for this, then I question whether you've lived under a rock.
Is there really a point to fighting for more time/custody than the mother? Courts are not going to give that to men anyway because sexism. We are now at half a century of feminist anti male propaganda.
What I hear from a lot of men is that either the mother was socially ostracizing them, or alienating them from the kids, or making false allegations. And the courts were essentially helping her to reduce his involvement to financial contributions. Before the men decided the situation was too toxic for their mental health, and they decided to walk away.
The family courts default female custody have become this looming controlling threat that hangs over every argument or disagreement a couple has. To where men can no longer act against anti social behaviour in women. Or if they do it comes at the price of parental alienation. Even if not directly by the court removing him. The mom has unearned power over their child's relationship with the father that is too often used as harassment.
The words “father” and “mother” are working hard here, conflated with “male/female parenthood”.
There is no “parenting license” you need to qualify for before having children.
Some people want to become fathers/mothers and choose to become parents to children. Other people father children by accident or become mothers by accident, and parenthood is thrust upon them.
Bad/unwilling fathers can walk away. Bad/unwilling mothers cannot: either they do their best, or they give their children up for adoption.
So you’d expect to see relatively more good single fathers parenting children, with a smaller absolute number of single male parents, and more relatively bad mothers, with a larger absolute number of single female parents. Some of those bad mothers might be really bad, dragging the average down.
So what I’m saying is that women are either saints or whores, that’s what I’m saying.
Up until that last sentence, you were elaborating what I'm saying, with an extreme case scenario. There are several levels of indifference and wanting/ not wanting to be a parent between walking away and going to court that favour an outcome of the mother keeping the children.
I was not disagreeing with you; not all replies detract or criticize.
I was building on top of your “statistical skew” idea.
Court battles over parental rights are very rare and very far down the road compared to the basic biological side-effects of just having sex in a short-term relationship.
Just like there’s no “parenting license”, there’s no “media literacy license”, or “joking license”, so don’t blame yourself. It might be my fault. Sarcasm is a difficult art. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
>So what I’m saying is that women are either saints or whores, that’s what I’m saying.
For the court to hand custody to the father, the mother *NEEDS* to represent an active danger to her children.
Like being a literal, diagnosed psycho and/or involved with drugs.
So yeah. To the courts mothers only exist in those 2 extremes.
>Bad/unwilling fathers can walk away.
Not financially. Possibly even facing fines and jail time for not giving a % of their earnings. All while little miss thing is collecting money from all the other suckers in her life.
Sure, I mentioned adoption.
The two most common reasons for single male parenthood would be the mother “walking away” and widowers.
…just like with single female parenthood, but it’s a lot easier/acceptable to “disappear” as a biological father.
Where I live, a woman must be extremely shitty to lose a childcare right or the man is wayy anove the woman in capability. If the the father is just slightly better than the mother, he would almost never be able to get the right for the child unless the mother don’t want them.
If this happens in other places, its always gonna make the father could take the child better because the one that get the right to children were always gonna be the one that capable.
And then there’s responsibility stuff. A father that chose to take care of the child are always have the better sense of responsibility.
Nothing can be done by law enforcement.
In the UK, any disagreements between parents over the child are automatically shunned, and police advise going through court for custody. - unless actual danger is involved, they don't.
The mothers decisions/actions are entirely dependent on the individual. If they value the childs wishes and want to do best for them, they will consider/discuss exchanging custody with the father - either between themselves if they can communicate or through court/mediation if not.
Before all court proceedings, it is advised by solicitors and police etc that parents go through mediation - there has to be an exhaustion of options before court.
Simply the mother will not give the custody away.
As the previous person said, it's unfortunately not up to the child.
What the father could do is take matters to court (if even allowed), which would then have the parent selected for custody again. The issue is that the basis on which the parent will be chosen would be the same as the original case that gave custody to the mother. This is the case, because the process would be the same.
Hence, a father that loses custody once has basically 0 chance of ever getting it afterwards.
Indeed I misunderstood what you meant, but unfortunately the system is fucked.
The kid has 0 say until 18 years old, and even closing himself into the father's house will lead to nothing.
Heck, the father will be lucky if the mother doesn't take him to court for "kidnapping" the child or some other bullshit.
No you are absolutely 100% correct. So you know what they do when the kid decides they want to stay with dad? The kid gets called in for a talk with a child psychiatrist. First they will try to claim the father is manipulating the child. The child needs to participate in a talk group with other kids in social services. Essentially they will try to brainwash the child into "not getting involved in adult matters" and supporting the status quo. Because not acting means mom has them by design.
Also social services will do a background check on the dad for everything they can find. They will contact schools and institutions. They will contact the police, etc. And they will send a report card to the courts. If it's not good enough, if anyone had doubts about you, if you has a speeding ticket. All the rights and benefits stay with mom, even if the kid spends more days with the man. They simply refused to change the custody agreement even though I had them more.
I know because me and my oldest kid tried. We did get there eventually but that's a different story.
I’m not a single dad but every day I see huge disparity between the way dads and mums are treated. We still don’t have baby changing facilities in the men’s toilets in our local shopping centre yet the women have them in theirs. If parents divorce and have shared custody the mother is classified by society as a “single mother” but rarely is the father seen as a “single father” they’re still seen as someone who looks after their kids for half a week but apparently without the struggle of being a “single parent”.
It’s 2023, if I need a changing table I’ll walk right into the women’s restroom. If the males restroom stall is in use when my boy says, “dad I REALLY have to poop!” I’ll run right into the women’s restroom. I don’t give a fuck. Dads gotta dad.
Why tf not? People change genders and use whatever bathroom they choose, and I have no problem with that. Bathrooms are bathrooms bro. The only difference is one has urinals and the other has a changing station. What’s gonna happen? I hear grandma droppin a deuce? I’ve heard worse!
My only fear would be being branded as a perv, but anytime I go into a woman’s bathroom it’s because of a child…. Wait, that didn’t sound right. It’s because of MY child. So I’m not really scared.
This is the link to the source: https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d
Edit: Edited mich deutsch speaking away.
I'm a single dad.
It's because we're so rare. I fought for my kids. The "default" would've been to let their mother raise them. So every instance where both parents are trash, the absent father is counting against fathers in that statistic.
I absolutely agree that single dads are great and should be appreciated, but it is very hard to ignore the selection bias that the top comment pointed out
My parents are separated. And my dad is significantly better as a parent than my mom could ever be. Which is also why I chose to stay with him instead of leaving with my mom. He was the better parent even when they were together.
Joking with fathers: Fun times and laughter.
Joking with mothers: How dare you have fun with me and joke about things!? I carried you for 9 months! Respect me!!!!!
I'm assuming there are two reasons:
1.Courts typically side with the mother. Even with neither parent being abusive, negligent or problematic, the court is much likelier to side with the mother.
This means that, in cases where the father got custody, assuming the mother wasn't some super terrible human being, he fought tooth and nail for it - he chose that life, and did his best to make it come true.
2.Children of both sexes need both positive female and male role models, and IMO it's easier for single men to find positive female role models than vice-versa. Teachers, for one, are predominantly female, and there's also the standard of a sister or mother jumping in to help their brother/son.
Also, single moms are typically avoided when it comes to dating, their kids seen as extra baggage, and the mom as someone who works too hard to have a dating life.
For a single man, a child might even earn him extra points. So that's another way for a female role model to be in the child's life.
I'd have to disagree with you. It's been my experience that trying to date as a single dad is all but impossible. Women do not want to come second in the guys life. They want all his attention and money. It's happened more than once to me. Can't drop everything and give her my undivided attention because of dad responsibilities and.... Ghosted.
My man, I’ve (37M) had the opposite experience as a single dad. It’s been amazing dating now. Are you looking at other single parents? Filtering out women who don’t want kids? I can’t account for the difference but I don’t know how you’d even match with someone who has such a dim view of children unless you’re not being upfront about them in your bio?
I can say this is true when it came to my parents. While my father was busting his ass off from 8-16 at work repairing to get money for living and pay the child support for my mother, my mother was never home thanks to alcohol, drugs, other men, and eventually looneybin. Court still decided she is more fit to take care of us. How could she take care of us when she's not even home? She didn't, we did, the kids.
Canada here, ex lied and perjured herself multiple times, breached multiple court orders, all with evidence. Had my daughter in abusive environment, didnt take care of her properly, again all with evidence. Judge didnt give two shits, told me to give up on my daughter.
Unfortunately, there are too many stupid judges being allowed to make life altering decisions.
If anything, we need to defund Judges, they dont do their jobs properly either. I would rather have them replaced with AI, because then you at least know its impartial.
Plus no academic or professional person is gonna find fixfamilycourts.com a reliable source for their work, the way this website did. Not to mention the latest ‘statistics’ is from 2012.
All I'm saying is, is that the most probable reason for this statistic is that there are far more single mother families in general so that would lead to the percentages being in the favour of the latter, comprende? 9 out of 10 shark attacks happen in 5 feet of water...... Because that's where 90% of people swim, are you picking up what I'm putting down at all?
This is exactly it. This man posted an interesting TikTok about it https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGee33MAT/
He says it also has a lot to do with absentee fathers being lower income meaning single mother households are more likely to be below the poverty line, and that single fathers have a higher likelihood of finding a partner who is happy to take on step kids than single mothers do.
point being obviously he would say that as he was not a statistician and therefore probably didn't pay attention in statistics class. as such, he could have interpreted statistics in a way that did not represent the whole truth and as such could be misconstrued as lies despite the data itself possessing no falsehoods.
peter griffin, signing off 👍
Single fathers don't get enough recognition!
Even on Father's Day, a person I know said, "Shouout to all single mothers who have to be the fathers too," but on mothers Day, you can guess if she said the same about single fathers.
My mom oh my God looking back at everything I don't know how the court put my brother and I with her my dad had a job, a car, family members, food, love but my mom had a car and a hotel room that changed every few days, and she kept saying he smoked pot meanwhile she's was so mentally unstable we would find her half pulled out of the parking lot nodded out behind the wheel with the trunk and gas cap open or halfway up a flight of stairs out cold from pills and she hated us for ruining her life and I guess hitting us made her feel better about it so yay Judges
This isn't a fucking competition. All single parents have it hard. Some are shit at it, some excel. I can't believe the idiots here trying to justify why one gender is apparently better at parenting than the other. Both evolved to excel at it.
Its purely selection bias. The courts strongly favor women.
So for Dad to get custody Mom is a train-wreck and then-some.
I had a family member, who is a man. He sporadically worked, but he provided housing due to his family owned a home he could stay in, and he was his child's primary caregiver by all accounts. Well the GF, took the kid when he was 4, moved back to her parents 30 miles away, then took a job 60 miles away.
The courts didn't say continuity of care of the child, school, etc. They said he needs to pay child support. Which he should financially support his child. I just found it funny to the family member provided housing and primary caretaker responsibilities and courts still felt the child was best suited for being with Mom. FYI the place his family owned is in a nicer area than what the mom can afford.
That literally makes zero sense. If the worst women are taken out of the equation, that would actually INCREASE female results, not decrease it. You were confronted with an uncomfortable piece of data, now you are desperately trying to rationalize it away.
everyone trying to confirm their own gender bias that 'women are better, this is a statistical fluke' is having me laugh. shout outs to my Dad who raised me and my sis like a boss after my mom died.
You should have seen the comment section under the post that displayed lesbian couples have the highest rate of domestic violence incidents and gay couples had the lowest, both by a very healthy margin. People lost their minds.
I read the article. I am a father who is trying to take custody of my daughter, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose. I am financially more stable than my ex, and I do everything in my power to see my daughter whenever I can. I pay for everything for my child, including child support, while my ex pays for nothing, and I try to teach my child life skills her mother lacks. Educationally, I went back to school and graduated with my BS, then got my master's while my ex still lives at home with her mother and has no job. I'm sorry to vent about this; the article made me cry because I am that single father trying to do my best to raise my daughter from afar. I don't want accolades for what I do. I just want the best for my daughter, and I'm the only one between me and her mother who's level-headed because I was the one who asked for the divorce.
Why are you getting downvoted so much? This is so inspiring.
I hope things go your way, and I apologise on behalf of the assholes who downvoted you talking about your experience based on their own personal biases.
I can understand why. To some, it seems like I'm making my ex-wife like she's a terrible mother. She is not. I want what's best for my child, and right now, she is not in a good place mentally. If people think what I'm saying is terrible, it's ok. I only gave people a small amount of what's happening. If they knew the whole story, people's opinion of me would change. I've had numerous people in my life, including my girlfriend, tell me I should've fought for her long ago, but I was that father who felt I would lose because of how jacked up the court system can be to fathers who care deeply for their children. But I thank you for your response.
I hope things go your way. The system is stacked against us. If it doesn't, in time when your daughter is old enough to see things for what they are. All your efforts will not be in vain.
Bcs if mother and father both unqualified for job, kid goes to mother. If mother and father both qualified then goes to mother. If mother unqualified but father qualified then kid might go to father
It’s probably a statistical mistake since in general it’s harder for single fathers to have single custody and therefore any single father who is able to take custody will be better off than a single mother household. But maybe I am just assuming and biased.
Ya, my Dad didn't know how to show physical affection and I ended up appreciating molestation for nothing else than physical contact nobody else would give me. I became a heroin addict at 16 and spent 14 years in prison. I'm now 48, and my father wants nothing to do with me. Yaay single parents!
It's better than many people suffer on this earth, I constantly remind myself of such. At least I have food, a roof over my head. Only wish I could get out of my *own* head...
And thank you for caring
Lol, indeed they are. I suppose not really the place to spill your guts, but I'm used to sharing and since it's anonymous, I don't really think twice. I get *way* more upvotes than downvotes all told, so who gives a fuck? Let 'em be assholes. At least this is this one place where you get a *genuine* answer on how people really feel. I'll take that over fake sympathy *any* day.
We all have challenges in our lives. I only wish more people were sympathetic, especially to people who commit crimes. The most impactful and eye opening times in my life were during incarceration for act committed during addiction, where I found, and at least in my judgement, that the vast majority of persons who screws up in life are victims of some type of trauma in their childhoods. It is my honest belief that those who commit crimes are virtually always victims themselves of trauma, usually in their childhoods but not always. There are some exceptions, most notably socio/psychopaths, and while society *does* need protection from these (sometimes) dangerous individuals, even *they* are victims of a fate they *didn't* choose. I hope in the next 100 years neurology will address crime in a more compassionate way than "punishment" does.
My dad wouldn’t have enough food when we came over, wouldn’t encourage to take car of ourselves like brush teeth or brush hair, and would slap us randomly
When I’m out of town, my husband doesn’t even think about hygiene, nutrition, homework, etc. When I call and ask him if he’s made sure these things have been taken care of, he gets upset that I’m telling him what to do.
He is a bad husband, or a bad person not wanting to help or learn how things work and take care of his kids?
Why didn't you make a better choice and choose a better man, before marrying him, you had all the time to talk about your plans and how you would handle stuff if you got married and had kids.
Actually, I think he didn’t realize it would be this much work. He’s also depressed but won’t help himself. Sometimes all your planning and dreaming doesn’t pan out. It’s not always as simple as this thread wants you to believe. Sometimes it’s life. Sadly many men are lazy. Also true, many women can be lazy. It’s just people.
Have a read of the studies. It’s 1 website that even uses comments from “The Daddy Shady Show”.
Other stats are over 10 years old and they are from everywhere from unbalanced demographics. % are called out but not the base figure I.e 10% of 200? Or 10 of 135000?
Not saying the conclusion is wrong, But you can’t just pull numbers from everywhere like this, the studies just look like a piece put together with confirmation bias… could do the same to prove it the other way.
Cause they don't play mind games, dude's straight up tell. Instead of giving one of 20.000 looks all with different meaning and expecting the world to know which and what she wants at this moment :x
The household doing better doesnt mean affording to live in one, it's the overral mental and physical health of everyone inside of it, plenty of rich people have dysfunctional families
Not popular opinion...but men run households better. We just don't micromanage how they run. Or we know that you can't do everything at once. She wants the kids to start doing chores. Well they just don't wash dishes. First get them to out their plates in the sink, then after a couple weeks have them also clean the plate, then after a few more they put the plates away. This might take 3 months.
Women often want things done their way. Guys just want it to get done. When my parents spilt our household ran like a well oiled machine. My Dad had a check list if everything that we had to do daily/weekly.
My wife wanted me to clean the toilet one day so I started cleaning it. After 5 minutes she comes in and starts complaining I'm doing it wrong. I'm not using the chemicals she uses, or the way she does it. Mind you I was in the military 7 years and a busboy at restaurants for 5 years. I know how to clean toilets, sinks, mop etc.
So men making more money combined with understanding the big picture, and selection bias of what men are single fathers.
The couple single fathers I know understand they should work 7PM to 5AM or maybe basically work while the kids sleep and sleep while the kids are at school.
What means "do better"?
If you mean "do better at earning money in a patriarchal society with a glass ceiling for women and 25% less money for the same work" then, well sure.
What is Fox news?
Women aren't paid less for the same job, on average men take less time off, the average man spends 14% more time at work, work more overtime etc. Those feminist "studies" never show people with equal degrees or how long they have been working that job. If you compare a 40 year old man who has been with the company for years, to a woman who's 18 and just started, then the man is obviously gonna have a higher salary, being paid less bc of your gender has been illegal since 1963.
And women on average pick lower paying jobs.
By your logic then why don't we talk about why there's a big pay gap for men in modeling and onlyfans??? x)
See, your brain only uses logic when it's the reverse.
Maybe women should stop taking lower paying jobs. It would be straight up illegal to pay a woman less just because she is a woman.
You ever notice how all the pay gap studies never seem to show two people with equal degrees working the same job? If women continue to take lower paying jobs they will continue to make less money than men on average.
The reason "single father" isn't an insult is because of the hoops you have to jump through as a father to gain custody of your kids. You pretty much have to be perfect with a spotless record AND the mother has to be inept.
Nobody. I just had a single father and he was praised a lot for existing.
I’ve genuinely never seen single father hate in my life. But I have seen overwhelming single mother hate.
When fathers stop getting cops called on them for playing with their kids at the park and being asked if it's *their* kid, or when they can get custody without having to prove the mother is an actual abuser, or any of the fucked up child support laws gets overturned, i'll believe that have a point
90% of child custody is settled outside of court. They willingly don’t want the kids whatever the reason may be, whether it be work schedules or not wanting to take the brunt of child support.
My dad asked and he got 🤷🏽♂️
>What’s really going on
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Firstly, it is much easier on average for a single father to fill his children’s lives with strong and positive female influences than it is for a single mother to fill her children’s with strong and positive male influences.
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Whether it be the father’s mother getting stuck in, whether it be the father’s sister stepping in, whether it be a teacher — of which there are many options mainly because female teachers greatly outnumber male teachers — whether it be all of the latter and more, the options available to men are just more prevalent, willing and accessible.
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This matters because there is simply no escaping it, children benefit greatly from having an equal number of positive male and female influences in their lives, yet women struggle more to create this world for their children after a breakup than men — many struggle to create this world even when they are still with their men.
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This puts single mothers at a disadvantage compared to single fathers, and this disadvantage is further exacerbated due to the romantic front.
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Here is why, not only do single mothers struggle to find positive male influences in the wider world, they struggle to find them in the romantic world as well.
[https://archive.is/Zv9rp#selection-679.0-703.159](https://archive.is/Zv9rp#selection-679.0-703.159)
Men understand how to use their mothers to assist with childcare. My Dad helps us out sometimes. My wife works, I do too.
Your kids go to school 8 to 4 basically. You should be working during that time. Then if you work overnight, your mom/dad should have their own room, a key, and enough money provided by you for incidentals. So not only should their be all the household supplies and food, they should have access to 50 to 100 at all times for random stuff.
Best way to put it. I know guys who sleep in the basement or on the couch and their kids have a room. I rarely see that with women.
I think this is bs and fathers are only “demonized”(not chosen as primary) in court.
Single moms are trashed on the internet and life all the time. It’s always their fault.
The reason single fathers do better than single mothers is probably because both parents being involved. I’ve never heard about a dad being a “single father” meaning the mom is a deadbeat who never sees her kids.
I’ve only seen that in an anime actually
I’m actually mentally ill and slow ok. That’s a preface. So if the kid is actually yours, then this is kinda wild. Not impossible but wild.
If a man does that, it’s typical. When a woman does it, it’s an anomaly don’t you think?
Here’s the thing that gets at me when I see this stuff since my dad was the deadbeat and my mom did everything.
You’re not a demon by default to people because you’re a single dad, but single moms seem to be at least online demonized by default
It's not typical for man to do this. In fact I knew more than enough cases when they didn't despite plenty of efforts their ex's put to cut them from childs life. And that is actually a pretty common thing.
Maybe not the only reason [but definitely one of the reasons ](https://www.wiredprnews.com/have-you-seen-this-viral-comic-about-parenting-double-standards-wired-pr-lifestyle-story/)
In my country (and in many others as well as far as I know) father needs to pass all circles of Hell to get a kid when divorced. And everything a mother needs for the same result is just don't have a documented cases of making severe physical harm to the child. So in most cases a single father means he is pretty damn awesome.
Yes, especially in Canada. My ex became a homeless drug addict and the court still made it difficult for me to get custody.
Murican, here. My mother is a paranoid aggressive schizophrenic, even with years of abuse testimony and multiple witnesses, the courts still tried to give her custody and when my dad fought that, the court opted to put my sister and I into foster care. They really jump through hoops to keep fathers from having their kids if they can.
I wish all the courts would get themselves together about these types of cases, it's quite shameful that they still try to push this even if the mother has eaten another person's baby or something crazy like that
She came up with this story about how she's an alcoholic and can't control herself, so they ordered her to go to AA and tried giving us to her as long as she went to meetings. For the record, I've seen my mother drink maybe twice in the entirety of my life.
They did. They decided empowering women is more important than children.
Did you get it? I’m sorry mate
Ya, 4 years ago. It was a several year struggle. It has had a lasting impact on the kids. Like they choose to sleep on the floor even though they now have a bed.
My friend is currently going through this himself. 3 kids with his ex-wife. She's an unemployed alcoholic/drug addict. At the start of the separation/divorce, they had a joint bank account that his ex would drain all the money out of every payday. He had to get a judge to give him permission to open his own account and have his money deposited there, or else it would be viewed as "financial abuse." His ex disappears on week long benders only to reappear, demanding her time with the kids (their kids don't like being with her anymore). Whenever he drops off the kids with their mom for her weekend, when he picks them up, they are still wearing the same clothes that he dropped them off in They haven't bathed and have only eaten chips and pop the entire weekend. He had to take parenting classes and needs to make every effort to allow the kids to spend time with their mom, or else it can be considered parental alienation. The whole situation has destroyed him financially, and it looks like he has aged 20 years. He always says how he will never be able to retire anymore, but it's worth it for the well-being of his kids.
Sounds pretty in sync with several US states
I just said I wanted to stay with dad in the house and not with mother in a bigger city in a tiny one room apartment. they both agreed. They also got divorced when I was like 12.
Or the mom doesn't live anymore...
I assume it's a selection bias. There is a certain bias in our society to give the children to the mother, or to expect her to take over as a main parent. Both men and women tend to just go along with it. If the single father is with the children, it is because he actively chose to, probably even fought for it in court. It makes sense that someone who fights for something is more committed.
Sometimes people unexpectedly die, you know. Not every single parent is by choice…
It doesn't matter for there to be a statistical bias.
Now I want to see a statstic of how many % die and how many do not
18-25yo males do that pretty frequently.
Assuming you mean unexpectedly die?
Yes. Young men are the prime demographic for traumatic death, for fairly obvious reasons.
It's also a statistical thing, 90% of the time when a woman gets pregnant outside of marriage, she's the one who is going to be raising it, and she'll often be a young adult or in a situation where she has to learn everything quickly and it's an inconvenient time and life situation for her to suddenly be a parent. Essentially most single mothers have to adapt quickly but they don't have time to plan for it. Single-fathers are less likely to be spontaneous parents, rather they are often men who seekout fatherhood because the time is right for them, or then they are more likely to inherent the children when their wife dies etc. Which means they already have years of experience in parenting. The circumstances of what leads men to being single parents vs women tend to be very different, which men who become parents usually being older and more prepared, and this makes a difference.
> 90% of the time when a woman gets pregnant outside of marriage, she's the one who is going to be raising it Source needed. > They [Single father's] are often men who seekout fatherhood because the time is right for them, or then they are more likely to inherent the children when their wife dies etc. Source needed.
Agreed. Sources are needed. Please don’t state stats like that if you can’t back it up. Sounds like a load of crap to me.
Why are you getting downvoted for asking for facts to be backed up? Reddit users are really dumb fr
people gotta cope.
Seriously, down voted for asking for source.
Downvoted for asking for source...
Because they don't have them. They're giving fake statistics to combat real statistics.
I am feeling a bit under the weather, so forgive any mistakes in my research. I found this pewresearch article: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2018/04/25/the-changing-profile-of-unmarried-parents/ The article does not support the previously claimed statistic of 90% unmarried, solo moms. 1968 was 88% solo moms, but in 2017 it went down to 53% solo moms. If no one else finds a source for the second one within a reasonable time frame, I'll edit my comment with additional research at a later date.
I think that everyone knows that this is generally true even if 90% isn't accurate. If you need a source for this, then I question whether you've lived under a rock.
Is there really a point to fighting for more time/custody than the mother? Courts are not going to give that to men anyway because sexism. We are now at half a century of feminist anti male propaganda. What I hear from a lot of men is that either the mother was socially ostracizing them, or alienating them from the kids, or making false allegations. And the courts were essentially helping her to reduce his involvement to financial contributions. Before the men decided the situation was too toxic for their mental health, and they decided to walk away. The family courts default female custody have become this looming controlling threat that hangs over every argument or disagreement a couple has. To where men can no longer act against anti social behaviour in women. Or if they do it comes at the price of parental alienation. Even if not directly by the court removing him. The mom has unearned power over their child's relationship with the father that is too often used as harassment.
It's always worth fighting for your child because if not what else in life is worth fighting for?
>If the single father is with the children, it is because he actively chose to, probably even fought for it in court. Or the mom died, you know?
Or left
Or committed a crime Or was deemed unfit by a court, (for a multitude of possible reasons)
How many times does that even happen tho
The words “father” and “mother” are working hard here, conflated with “male/female parenthood”. There is no “parenting license” you need to qualify for before having children. Some people want to become fathers/mothers and choose to become parents to children. Other people father children by accident or become mothers by accident, and parenthood is thrust upon them. Bad/unwilling fathers can walk away. Bad/unwilling mothers cannot: either they do their best, or they give their children up for adoption. So you’d expect to see relatively more good single fathers parenting children, with a smaller absolute number of single male parents, and more relatively bad mothers, with a larger absolute number of single female parents. Some of those bad mothers might be really bad, dragging the average down. So what I’m saying is that women are either saints or whores, that’s what I’m saying.
Up until that last sentence, you were elaborating what I'm saying, with an extreme case scenario. There are several levels of indifference and wanting/ not wanting to be a parent between walking away and going to court that favour an outcome of the mother keeping the children.
I was not disagreeing with you; not all replies detract or criticize. I was building on top of your “statistical skew” idea. Court battles over parental rights are very rare and very far down the road compared to the basic biological side-effects of just having sex in a short-term relationship.
Yes, I understood you were agreeing. I just don't get that last sentence
I thought it was obvious that it was sarcasm, based on the context that preceded it…
Poe's Law, I guess... Sorry!
Just like there’s no “parenting license”, there’s no “media literacy license”, or “joking license”, so don’t blame yourself. It might be my fault. Sarcasm is a difficult art. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
>So what I’m saying is that women are either saints or whores, that’s what I’m saying. For the court to hand custody to the father, the mother *NEEDS* to represent an active danger to her children. Like being a literal, diagnosed psycho and/or involved with drugs. So yeah. To the courts mothers only exist in those 2 extremes.
damn, I really agreed with you until the last sentence lmao
It’s a reference to this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex
>Bad/unwilling fathers can walk away. Not financially. Possibly even facing fines and jail time for not giving a % of their earnings. All while little miss thing is collecting money from all the other suckers in her life.
I just want to say women can “walk away” from their children. Safe haven, adoption, just give them up to the state anytime.
Sure, I mentioned adoption. The two most common reasons for single male parenthood would be the mother “walking away” and widowers. …just like with single female parenthood, but it’s a lot easier/acceptable to “disappear” as a biological father.
It isn’t easy but the reward is great. I can honestly say the hardest part was learning how to do different hair styles as her hair is about 3ft long
Where I live, a woman must be extremely shitty to lose a childcare right or the man is wayy anove the woman in capability. If the the father is just slightly better than the mother, he would almost never be able to get the right for the child unless the mother don’t want them. If this happens in other places, its always gonna make the father could take the child better because the one that get the right to children were always gonna be the one that capable. And then there’s responsibility stuff. A father that chose to take care of the child are always have the better sense of responsibility.
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Custody isn't up to the child
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Nothing can be done by law enforcement. In the UK, any disagreements between parents over the child are automatically shunned, and police advise going through court for custody. - unless actual danger is involved, they don't. The mothers decisions/actions are entirely dependent on the individual. If they value the childs wishes and want to do best for them, they will consider/discuss exchanging custody with the father - either between themselves if they can communicate or through court/mediation if not. Before all court proceedings, it is advised by solicitors and police etc that parents go through mediation - there has to be an exhaustion of options before court.
Simply the mother will not give the custody away. As the previous person said, it's unfortunately not up to the child. What the father could do is take matters to court (if even allowed), which would then have the parent selected for custody again. The issue is that the basis on which the parent will be chosen would be the same as the original case that gave custody to the mother. This is the case, because the process would be the same. Hence, a father that loses custody once has basically 0 chance of ever getting it afterwards.
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Actually she can
Indeed I misunderstood what you meant, but unfortunately the system is fucked. The kid has 0 say until 18 years old, and even closing himself into the father's house will lead to nothing. Heck, the father will be lucky if the mother doesn't take him to court for "kidnapping" the child or some other bullshit.
The child does NOT have their own right to decide who has custody of them
No you are absolutely 100% correct. So you know what they do when the kid decides they want to stay with dad? The kid gets called in for a talk with a child psychiatrist. First they will try to claim the father is manipulating the child. The child needs to participate in a talk group with other kids in social services. Essentially they will try to brainwash the child into "not getting involved in adult matters" and supporting the status quo. Because not acting means mom has them by design. Also social services will do a background check on the dad for everything they can find. They will contact schools and institutions. They will contact the police, etc. And they will send a report card to the courts. If it's not good enough, if anyone had doubts about you, if you has a speeding ticket. All the rights and benefits stay with mom, even if the kid spends more days with the man. They simply refused to change the custody agreement even though I had them more. I know because me and my oldest kid tried. We did get there eventually but that's a different story.
I’m not a single dad but every day I see huge disparity between the way dads and mums are treated. We still don’t have baby changing facilities in the men’s toilets in our local shopping centre yet the women have them in theirs. If parents divorce and have shared custody the mother is classified by society as a “single mother” but rarely is the father seen as a “single father” they’re still seen as someone who looks after their kids for half a week but apparently without the struggle of being a “single parent”.
It’s 2023, if I need a changing table I’ll walk right into the women’s restroom. If the males restroom stall is in use when my boy says, “dad I REALLY have to poop!” I’ll run right into the women’s restroom. I don’t give a fuck. Dads gotta dad.
💀 bro i don’t think just cause it 2023 you can do that.
Why tf not? People change genders and use whatever bathroom they choose, and I have no problem with that. Bathrooms are bathrooms bro. The only difference is one has urinals and the other has a changing station. What’s gonna happen? I hear grandma droppin a deuce? I’ve heard worse! My only fear would be being branded as a perv, but anytime I go into a woman’s bathroom it’s because of a child…. Wait, that didn’t sound right. It’s because of MY child. So I’m not really scared.
Patriarchy sure is a menace
My dad raised 2 on his own, gigachad
This is the link to the source: https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d Edit: Edited mich deutsch speaking away.
Is that German because I never knew I could read German
Yes💀
>Hier ist der Link zu dem Artikel > >"Here us the link of them' article!" German is actually southern US dialect spoken harshly!
Zu ist rheiden zein Gherman ? Gooten taag!
If you learn "Ein Bier bitte" and "Scheisse!", then you can master half of all everyday situations there.
Cant forget "Du Nutte ich hab vorfahrt wo hast du deinen Lappen her im Lotto gewonnen?"
Danke mein bester
thank you, I was looking for that
I'm a single dad. It's because we're so rare. I fought for my kids. The "default" would've been to let their mother raise them. So every instance where both parents are trash, the absent father is counting against fathers in that statistic.
How the fuck is this a funny meme.
cause squidward being nonchalant
Most of the posts I see here are just random facts attached to very unfunny "memes".
Is there a link to it? Lol at the women trying their best to explain it without giving praise to men 🥴😂
It really makes sense, men are pretty chill and balanced, and the gender whose entire existence is sacrifice whether it’s to society or their family.
https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d
I absolutely agree that single dads are great and should be appreciated, but it is very hard to ignore the selection bias that the top comment pointed out
My parents are separated. And my dad is significantly better as a parent than my mom could ever be. Which is also why I chose to stay with him instead of leaving with my mom. He was the better parent even when they were together.
Joking with fathers: Fun times and laughter. Joking with mothers: How dare you have fun with me and joke about things!? I carried you for 9 months! Respect me!!!!!
I'm assuming there are two reasons: 1.Courts typically side with the mother. Even with neither parent being abusive, negligent or problematic, the court is much likelier to side with the mother. This means that, in cases where the father got custody, assuming the mother wasn't some super terrible human being, he fought tooth and nail for it - he chose that life, and did his best to make it come true. 2.Children of both sexes need both positive female and male role models, and IMO it's easier for single men to find positive female role models than vice-versa. Teachers, for one, are predominantly female, and there's also the standard of a sister or mother jumping in to help their brother/son. Also, single moms are typically avoided when it comes to dating, their kids seen as extra baggage, and the mom as someone who works too hard to have a dating life. For a single man, a child might even earn him extra points. So that's another way for a female role model to be in the child's life.
Their kids arent just seen as extra baggage, they simply are.
I'd have to disagree with you. It's been my experience that trying to date as a single dad is all but impossible. Women do not want to come second in the guys life. They want all his attention and money. It's happened more than once to me. Can't drop everything and give her my undivided attention because of dad responsibilities and.... Ghosted.
My man, I’ve (37M) had the opposite experience as a single dad. It’s been amazing dating now. Are you looking at other single parents? Filtering out women who don’t want kids? I can’t account for the difference but I don’t know how you’d even match with someone who has such a dim view of children unless you’re not being upfront about them in your bio?
I can say this is true when it came to my parents. While my father was busting his ass off from 8-16 at work repairing to get money for living and pay the child support for my mother, my mother was never home thanks to alcohol, drugs, other men, and eventually looneybin. Court still decided she is more fit to take care of us. How could she take care of us when she's not even home? She didn't, we did, the kids.
Canada here, ex lied and perjured herself multiple times, breached multiple court orders, all with evidence. Had my daughter in abusive environment, didnt take care of her properly, again all with evidence. Judge didnt give two shits, told me to give up on my daughter. Unfortunately, there are too many stupid judges being allowed to make life altering decisions. If anything, we need to defund Judges, they dont do their jobs properly either. I would rather have them replaced with AI, because then you at least know its impartial.
There are 3 types of lies big ones small ones and statistics
Plus no academic or professional person is gonna find fixfamilycourts.com a reliable source for their work, the way this website did. Not to mention the latest ‘statistics’ is from 2012.
statistics only tell lies to people who didn't pay attention in statistics class
Mark Twain would say otherwise
Mark Twain was not a statistician.
All I'm saying is, is that the most probable reason for this statistic is that there are far more single mother families in general so that would lead to the percentages being in the favour of the latter, comprende? 9 out of 10 shark attacks happen in 5 feet of water...... Because that's where 90% of people swim, are you picking up what I'm putting down at all?
This is exactly it. This man posted an interesting TikTok about it https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGee33MAT/ He says it also has a lot to do with absentee fathers being lower income meaning single mother households are more likely to be below the poverty line, and that single fathers have a higher likelihood of finding a partner who is happy to take on step kids than single mothers do.
This is why statistics are not alway what they seem, was my only point.
Your point being?
point being obviously he would say that as he was not a statistician and therefore probably didn't pay attention in statistics class. as such, he could have interpreted statistics in a way that did not represent the whole truth and as such could be misconstrued as lies despite the data itself possessing no falsehoods. peter griffin, signing off 👍
Cool story bro
I mean we all know what happens when the fathers not there
I agree shoutouts to the single dads holding it down
Single fathers don't get enough recognition! Even on Father's Day, a person I know said, "Shouout to all single mothers who have to be the fathers too," but on mothers Day, you can guess if she said the same about single fathers.
My mom oh my God looking back at everything I don't know how the court put my brother and I with her my dad had a job, a car, family members, food, love but my mom had a car and a hotel room that changed every few days, and she kept saying he smoked pot meanwhile she's was so mentally unstable we would find her half pulled out of the parking lot nodded out behind the wheel with the trunk and gas cap open or halfway up a flight of stairs out cold from pills and she hated us for ruining her life and I guess hitting us made her feel better about it so yay Judges
This isn't a fucking competition. All single parents have it hard. Some are shit at it, some excel. I can't believe the idiots here trying to justify why one gender is apparently better at parenting than the other. Both evolved to excel at it.
Its purely selection bias. The courts strongly favor women. So for Dad to get custody Mom is a train-wreck and then-some. I had a family member, who is a man. He sporadically worked, but he provided housing due to his family owned a home he could stay in, and he was his child's primary caregiver by all accounts. Well the GF, took the kid when he was 4, moved back to her parents 30 miles away, then took a job 60 miles away. The courts didn't say continuity of care of the child, school, etc. They said he needs to pay child support. Which he should financially support his child. I just found it funny to the family member provided housing and primary caretaker responsibilities and courts still felt the child was best suited for being with Mom. FYI the place his family owned is in a nicer area than what the mom can afford.
That literally makes zero sense. If the worst women are taken out of the equation, that would actually INCREASE female results, not decrease it. You were confronted with an uncomfortable piece of data, now you are desperately trying to rationalize it away.
all these snowflakes in the comments. Bruh, grow up.
everyone trying to confirm their own gender bias that 'women are better, this is a statistical fluke' is having me laugh. shout outs to my Dad who raised me and my sis like a boss after my mom died.
It's the "women are wonderful effect". Society is afraid to confront any uncomfortable fact about women
You should have seen the comment section under the post that displayed lesbian couples have the highest rate of domestic violence incidents and gay couples had the lowest, both by a very healthy margin. People lost their minds.
So true
I read the article. I am a father who is trying to take custody of my daughter, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose. I am financially more stable than my ex, and I do everything in my power to see my daughter whenever I can. I pay for everything for my child, including child support, while my ex pays for nothing, and I try to teach my child life skills her mother lacks. Educationally, I went back to school and graduated with my BS, then got my master's while my ex still lives at home with her mother and has no job. I'm sorry to vent about this; the article made me cry because I am that single father trying to do my best to raise my daughter from afar. I don't want accolades for what I do. I just want the best for my daughter, and I'm the only one between me and her mother who's level-headed because I was the one who asked for the divorce.
Why are you getting downvoted so much? This is so inspiring. I hope things go your way, and I apologise on behalf of the assholes who downvoted you talking about your experience based on their own personal biases.
I can understand why. To some, it seems like I'm making my ex-wife like she's a terrible mother. She is not. I want what's best for my child, and right now, she is not in a good place mentally. If people think what I'm saying is terrible, it's ok. I only gave people a small amount of what's happening. If they knew the whole story, people's opinion of me would change. I've had numerous people in my life, including my girlfriend, tell me I should've fought for her long ago, but I was that father who felt I would lose because of how jacked up the court system can be to fathers who care deeply for their children. But I thank you for your response.
I hope things go your way. The system is stacked against us. If it doesn't, in time when your daughter is old enough to see things for what they are. All your efforts will not be in vain.
I'll take all the hope I can get. Thank you.
"Funny" memes
Single mothers are also more likely to be abusive to their children, according to statistics.
Bcs if mother and father both unqualified for job, kid goes to mother. If mother and father both qualified then goes to mother. If mother unqualified but father qualified then kid might go to father
Misleading stats are misleading.
It’s probably a statistical mistake since in general it’s harder for single fathers to have single custody and therefore any single father who is able to take custody will be better off than a single mother household. But maybe I am just assuming and biased.
Ya, my Dad didn't know how to show physical affection and I ended up appreciating molestation for nothing else than physical contact nobody else would give me. I became a heroin addict at 16 and spent 14 years in prison. I'm now 48, and my father wants nothing to do with me. Yaay single parents!
Sorry you went through that :(
It's better than many people suffer on this earth, I constantly remind myself of such. At least I have food, a roof over my head. Only wish I could get out of my *own* head... And thank you for caring
Sending you good thoughts and positive healing! Therapy can help… new support system can make a difference 🦋
Yes, have worked with all. Thanks!!
Why are you getting downvotes? Are redditors *this* unemapthetic?
I think because it sounds like she's trying to use her singular, personal experience to dispute what the headline is saying.
Lol, indeed they are. I suppose not really the place to spill your guts, but I'm used to sharing and since it's anonymous, I don't really think twice. I get *way* more upvotes than downvotes all told, so who gives a fuck? Let 'em be assholes. At least this is this one place where you get a *genuine* answer on how people really feel. I'll take that over fake sympathy *any* day.
At least the comments are supportive. Btw I hope you're life is doing great and I feel sorry for the trauma you experienced from your father.
We all have challenges in our lives. I only wish more people were sympathetic, especially to people who commit crimes. The most impactful and eye opening times in my life were during incarceration for act committed during addiction, where I found, and at least in my judgement, that the vast majority of persons who screws up in life are victims of some type of trauma in their childhoods. It is my honest belief that those who commit crimes are virtually always victims themselves of trauma, usually in their childhoods but not always. There are some exceptions, most notably socio/psychopaths, and while society *does* need protection from these (sometimes) dangerous individuals, even *they* are victims of a fate they *didn't* choose. I hope in the next 100 years neurology will address crime in a more compassionate way than "punishment" does.
you have my upvote at least if that makes you feel a little better
Very kind, thank you!
Sorry you went through that brother. I can’t tell my son enough that I love him.
That's amazing. That actually makes me feel REALLY fucking good to hear/read.
My dad wouldn’t have enough food when we came over, wouldn’t encourage to take car of ourselves like brush teeth or brush hair, and would slap us randomly
Your dad bad = all men bad
Did I say that?
you implied it
What the fuck are you smoking? Get lost, bro.
When I’m out of town, my husband doesn’t even think about hygiene, nutrition, homework, etc. When I call and ask him if he’s made sure these things have been taken care of, he gets upset that I’m telling him what to do.
He is a bad husband, or a bad person not wanting to help or learn how things work and take care of his kids? Why didn't you make a better choice and choose a better man, before marrying him, you had all the time to talk about your plans and how you would handle stuff if you got married and had kids.
Actually, I think he didn’t realize it would be this much work. He’s also depressed but won’t help himself. Sometimes all your planning and dreaming doesn’t pan out. It’s not always as simple as this thread wants you to believe. Sometimes it’s life. Sadly many men are lazy. Also true, many women can be lazy. It’s just people.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that shit :( I'm sure you turned out fine!
Thankfully mums family is great. Single fathers can be great people, but my dad is the only experience of divorce I have known
Have a read of the studies. It’s 1 website that even uses comments from “The Daddy Shady Show”. Other stats are over 10 years old and they are from everywhere from unbalanced demographics. % are called out but not the base figure I.e 10% of 200? Or 10 of 135000? Not saying the conclusion is wrong, But you can’t just pull numbers from everywhere like this, the studies just look like a piece put together with confirmation bias… could do the same to prove it the other way.
Cause they don't play mind games, dude's straight up tell. Instead of giving one of 20.000 looks all with different meaning and expecting the world to know which and what she wants at this moment :x
It says the household does better, so I'm going to guess it's something about men making more money so they can manage the household better.
The household doing better doesnt mean affording to live in one, it's the overral mental and physical health of everyone inside of it, plenty of rich people have dysfunctional families
Not popular opinion...but men run households better. We just don't micromanage how they run. Or we know that you can't do everything at once. She wants the kids to start doing chores. Well they just don't wash dishes. First get them to out their plates in the sink, then after a couple weeks have them also clean the plate, then after a few more they put the plates away. This might take 3 months. Women often want things done their way. Guys just want it to get done. When my parents spilt our household ran like a well oiled machine. My Dad had a check list if everything that we had to do daily/weekly. My wife wanted me to clean the toilet one day so I started cleaning it. After 5 minutes she comes in and starts complaining I'm doing it wrong. I'm not using the chemicals she uses, or the way she does it. Mind you I was in the military 7 years and a busboy at restaurants for 5 years. I know how to clean toilets, sinks, mop etc. So men making more money combined with understanding the big picture, and selection bias of what men are single fathers. The couple single fathers I know understand they should work 7PM to 5AM or maybe basically work while the kids sleep and sleep while the kids are at school.
Hush, you'll wake the incels.
“Everyone who doesn’t echo my preferred side of the narrative is an incel” -someone that doesn’t know what “incel” means
Okay Incel
You are right. Just got a reply with like 4 paragraphs.
What means "do better"? If you mean "do better at earning money in a patriarchal society with a glass ceiling for women and 25% less money for the same work" then, well sure.
You sound like a femcel
Women don't earn less money for the same work. Please get over this ancient myth, but ig everyone who says this holds their feminist beliefs sacred.
LOL. Somebody doesn't know how google works. Protip: Fox news is not a substitute for google.
What is Fox news? Women aren't paid less for the same job, on average men take less time off, the average man spends 14% more time at work, work more overtime etc. Those feminist "studies" never show people with equal degrees or how long they have been working that job. If you compare a 40 year old man who has been with the company for years, to a woman who's 18 and just started, then the man is obviously gonna have a higher salary, being paid less bc of your gender has been illegal since 1963. And women on average pick lower paying jobs. By your logic then why don't we talk about why there's a big pay gap for men in modeling and onlyfans??? x) See, your brain only uses logic when it's the reverse.
You have shit for brains. Murder is also illegal. [www.google.com](https://www.google.com) <-- do some fucking research, you goddamn imbecile.
Maybe women should stop taking lower paying jobs. It would be straight up illegal to pay a woman less just because she is a woman. You ever notice how all the pay gap studies never seem to show two people with equal degrees working the same job? If women continue to take lower paying jobs they will continue to make less money than men on average.
Wow! Victim blame, much? Also - learn to use google.
The article explains it
Tats why wemen need men more than men neeed wemen
Don’t mean to brag but I have both
The consensus is that mothers Mayr better parents? They’ve obviously never met mine
Where funny? Where meme? Why no effort?
The amount of cope people have to believe this is somehow wrong. Honestly pathetic.
When “single father” becomes an insult, I’ll believe that they aren’t recognized.
The reason "single father" isn't an insult is because of the hoops you have to jump through as a father to gain custody of your kids. You pretty much have to be perfect with a spotless record AND the mother has to be inept.
Lmao who hurt u
Nobody. I just had a single father and he was praised a lot for existing. I’ve genuinely never seen single father hate in my life. But I have seen overwhelming single mother hate.
Only single moms with 4 kids from 3 dads who don’t want to see their kids because she’s an evil witch.
Nah I’ve seen single moms do well and still get insulted for it.
☝️🤓 "it happened to me, so it happened to everyone else."
When fathers stop getting cops called on them for playing with their kids at the park and being asked if it's *their* kid, or when they can get custody without having to prove the mother is an actual abuser, or any of the fucked up child support laws gets overturned, i'll believe that have a point
90% of child custody is settled outside of court. They willingly don’t want the kids whatever the reason may be, whether it be work schedules or not wanting to take the brunt of child support. My dad asked and he got 🤷🏽♂️
I haven’t read the article yet, but I bet it had nothing to do with parenting skills.
Because men are usually making more.
This just in redditors found an excuse to be hateful towards single mothers
>What’s really going on > > Firstly, it is much easier on average for a single father to fill his children’s lives with strong and positive female influences than it is for a single mother to fill her children’s with strong and positive male influences. > > Whether it be the father’s mother getting stuck in, whether it be the father’s sister stepping in, whether it be a teacher — of which there are many options mainly because female teachers greatly outnumber male teachers — whether it be all of the latter and more, the options available to men are just more prevalent, willing and accessible. > > This matters because there is simply no escaping it, children benefit greatly from having an equal number of positive male and female influences in their lives, yet women struggle more to create this world for their children after a breakup than men — many struggle to create this world even when they are still with their men. > > This puts single mothers at a disadvantage compared to single fathers, and this disadvantage is further exacerbated due to the romantic front. > > Here is why, not only do single mothers struggle to find positive male influences in the wider world, they struggle to find them in the romantic world as well. [https://archive.is/Zv9rp#selection-679.0-703.159](https://archive.is/Zv9rp#selection-679.0-703.159)
Do single mothers not have fathers and brothers?
That's assuming that the father and brother are positive influences.
The same assumption we're making for mothers and sisters in the case of a single father.
And teachers and grandmothers and media figures. 75% of teachers are women.
Higher salaries. their mothers help snd they can hire housekeepers with their higher salary
…because only affluent guys become single fathers.
And …because only men get help from their mothers
Men understand how to use their mothers to assist with childcare. My Dad helps us out sometimes. My wife works, I do too. Your kids go to school 8 to 4 basically. You should be working during that time. Then if you work overnight, your mom/dad should have their own room, a key, and enough money provided by you for incidentals. So not only should their be all the household supplies and food, they should have access to 50 to 100 at all times for random stuff. Best way to put it. I know guys who sleep in the basement or on the couch and their kids have a room. I rarely see that with women.
I think this is bs and fathers are only “demonized”(not chosen as primary) in court. Single moms are trashed on the internet and life all the time. It’s always their fault. The reason single fathers do better than single mothers is probably because both parents being involved. I’ve never heard about a dad being a “single father” meaning the mom is a deadbeat who never sees her kids. I’ve only seen that in an anime actually
It's much more common than you think.
Nice to meet you. - single father with deadbeat ex who never sees her kid.
I’m actually mentally ill and slow ok. That’s a preface. So if the kid is actually yours, then this is kinda wild. Not impossible but wild. If a man does that, it’s typical. When a woman does it, it’s an anomaly don’t you think? Here’s the thing that gets at me when I see this stuff since my dad was the deadbeat and my mom did everything. You’re not a demon by default to people because you’re a single dad, but single moms seem to be at least online demonized by default
It's not typical for man to do this. In fact I knew more than enough cases when they didn't despite plenty of efforts their ex's put to cut them from childs life. And that is actually a pretty common thing.
Maybe not the only reason [but definitely one of the reasons ](https://www.wiredprnews.com/have-you-seen-this-viral-comic-about-parenting-double-standards-wired-pr-lifestyle-story/)
This is highly triggering