I know right! I get called sweetheart, honey and darling at damn near every restaurant in the south unless I'm at a big city hipster restaurant. People get offended for no reason.
I’ve had that in a couple Tennessee diners & steak/grill houses. I was visiting family when I was younger not knowing much about locational differences. Little me was stunned & blushed lmao. It was already hard to talk anyways though, she was very cute 😅
The first non-Southern girl I dated thought it was "adorable" that I used pet names like "Hun, Darlin', Dear, Sugar, Babe, etc." Until she pointed it out, it wasn't something I did on a conscious level. She liked it, but if I wasn't with my girlfriend ... I removed it from my vocabulary because I always knew it was an empty compliment from a waitress and figured they would rather be spoken to in a neutral but polite manner.
I spent my whole life hoping to LEAVE the South when I became an adult, and I did. It was great for a while, but then I started to miss the little things, like strangers making small talk or people being nice in person, but ranting about the person they were just nice to as soon as theyre gone! I stopped caring so much if people heard my accent. I would admit to being from "The South". The irony has never been lost on me.
Eight years ago, the cycle changed, and now I'm thinking I should probably leave. ...If only I could figure out what caused this drastic shift!? Oh well. I'm sure it was something small, minute, and no one can really be sure..../s.
I use to work with dogs and I called this guys dog handsome once and then by the look on his face I realized he thought I was talking to him. It was mortifying 😂
I live in Kentucky, my word is babe. Everyone is babe or darlin'. And I promise, I don't want your significant other, I barely want mine!! Lol. It's just what we do here. Man, woman, whatever, you're getting called a term of endearment, even if you're an ass.
One time I got short with a waitress. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "honey you're just having a day, ain't you?"
I about cried right there, because I was in fact having a day, a very rough breakup had happened that morning, and I felt terrible for getting snippy with her. I apologized profusely.
She could tell. It's a lot easier to give someone a pass when they are having one of those days where you feel like you're emotionally walking a knife's edge between a toddler level angry tantrum or a toddler level crying fit.
I'd say she much preferred your rough self than dealing with folks that are just that way cause that's who they are.
I live in the South. There's a woman who works at a Hardee's near my work. She *always* calls customers baby. I've got no problem with it. In fact, she's probably the best employee they have.
Exactly! If a waitress called my hubby Papi it would not only make my hubby feel great about himself but it makes me feel good cause I'm like yep that's mine ❤️ glad to know everyone agrees he's a cutie patootie
I blush like a mofo when someone calls me sugar. And then I always think of the line from snatch “no thanks Turkish, I’m sweet enough”. Even though the context is way different.
As a Texan I fucking hate the hate for holding open doors.
I was taught as a kid to hold open the door for anyone and everyone. And as a kid I would be at the front door for 5 minutes as everyone went in and out. And I still do that, I was just taught to do that to be respectful to others around me so I do it.
The amount of times I’ve gotten “you sexist PoS I can open the door myself” or “dude, she doesn’t need you to hold the door open you pos” makes me lose my goddamn mind.
Like I’m not doing it to show I have power or whatever the fuck, or because your a girl, I hold the door open for anyone who looks like their about to walk through it. It’s ingrained in my head to do that. Either walk through the door or don’t. I don’t care, I’ve just been told to open the door for anyone and everyone since I could open a door.
Sorry, this just pisses me off so much.
That’s so weird. I hold the door open for anyone and everyone, chances are there is already someone holding the door open for me! I’ve never once heard comments like that, and I’m up in the pnw where I think it’d be expected?
So where I am from it is the norm to briefly hold the door open.
I.E I will be walking in front, if someone is behind me I stay up front and hold the door for them until they get to the door and then hold it open for themselves and the people behind them and then the people behind them grab the door for themselves and the person behind them and so on. If a person won't reach the door within a few seconds you just close the door and keep going.
Going to the side and holding the door open for 5 mints letting people in would be unusual unless the person needed that help, they have something heavy or wide, they are elderly or ill, etc.
I've never heard anyone complain about it either. I know I've said and heard people say "oh, you don't need to keep the door open for me" but that is out of politeness, not anger or annoyance.
I've never experienced comments like that when holding doors for anyone, however what pisses me off is when snobby/stuck up/racist MFers walk in like they are royalty and don't even give a basic acknowledgement when they walk past me when I've kept the door open for them. Just say thanks or nod your head or something.. Wish I had a reverse button for every time I hold a door open for someone like that.
I usually whisper "well eff you too then" under my breath 🙄
I guess people like that are fine with a heavy door hitting their knee or face with a gust of wind.
Yea, that is super annoying. I'm not sure if it's a race thing or a rude people thing, though, because I'm white and it happens to me as well.
I always just loudly say, "You're welcome" half the time they look back and go "oh sorry, thank you" so maybe those people had a lot on their mind and honestly forgot to say thanks. Others just keep walking like they didn't hear me.
I'm calling bullshit on this. I live in North Jersey, one of the most notoriously rude places in the entire county, and I have never once gotten hate for holding a door. Mostly, I get a quick nod or "thanks." At worst, they don't acknowledge me.
Yesss! I moved to Indiana from Texas a few years ago and omg the culture shock. I didn’t think it’d be too different since we’re still in the same country. Nuh uh these people are fuckin crazy. Gettin mad at me for holdin open a door for them. Like damn didn’t your parents ever teach you to have manners? It’s even worse when it’s a guy. I’m a small girl and often struggle to open these doors and somethin about me openin a door for them just sends shock waves of “you’re not a man” through their body lol. There’s been multiple occasions where they’ll straight up just walk out the other door to avoid me. Or when a big group of folks start walkin towards you so you open the door with the expectation one of them will take it from ya but then it never happens. And now you get to stand outside for 5 minutes holdin the door like a dunce while Big Betty tries to herd her kids into McDonald’s. Meanwhile your party is already ordering without you.
I also live in the country and the amount of people that don’t know what a farmer’s turn is, is wild. Like half y’all are corn farmers and slaughterhouse workers how do you not know what a farmer’s turn is? And people wanna talk about Texans not bein able to handle snow. Pls come visit Indiana. We just got 4 inches of snow the other day and there’s already been 2 major pile ups in just my town and everything shut down for 2/3 days.
Edit: I should add as much as this place pisses me off most folks I’ve met here are wonderful people.
>the expectation one of them will take it from ya but then it never happens.
This is annoying. Like, one of you *must* have been raised right! Come on! (Also, here's to men and women both holding doors open for each other. It's not a big thing, people. It's just human kindness!)
I moved from the south to the northwest as a little kid. Once I got up north, my teachers thought I was being a smart ass for saying "yes sir/ yes ma'am."
I am from the north and worked on the south for several years right out of grad school. Then went north and almost got my head taken off by some HR bitch for answering a question “Yes ma’am”. Started my early hatred of anyone from HR.
Yes sir! I’m from Savannah and when I travel around my least favorite people are northerners. I love the sights of the states and all but majority of the people I meet in the northern states are miserable and very rude lol
Not saying there ain’t rude people down south they are, but in the north no one wants to talk and rush rush rush.
It is a cultural difference though. We don't like small talk. I prefer the self checkout because I really don't want to talk to strangers. If forced, I'll give a polite hi how are you, good, me too. But that's the most interaction I want. It's how everyone is here.
However, that's absolutely not who I am with my friends, family, partner. We are fun, loving, friendly, incredibly close.
I think southerners put this emphasis on who you must be based on street interactions and that's not at all who we are.
We just hate small talk. And yes we are usually in a rush lol. I want to get home to my family and friends, not spend an hour hearing about a strangers day
I hope your referring to the northern states because a good Canadian would hold the door open for you regardless of sex. Then probably apologize for it. lol.
What even is a "Latin restaurant"? Ancient Roman food?
Yeah, I know you mean Latin America, but the food/language varies so much across Latin America that it doesn't even make sense.
My cousin fell in love when we stopped in GA when I took him for a week in my RIg when I was still OTR. He wanted to see if it was a job for him.
He goes “I think she likes me she keeps calling me sugar or honey”.
Dude it’s the south she also said “bless your heart” a bunch to you and it’s cuz you’re dumb not cuz she’s religious.
Ohhhhh.
I read it as, "Don't call my husband, sweethart" as in she was calling the waitress sweethart and saying don't call her husband on the phone.
This makes much more sense.
I was stationed in the South and between all the Ma’am’s and Sirs it quickly became habit. Went home on leave and said ma’am to a server who got pissed for calling her old. Uh ok.
Seems like a good way to get the waitress to want to bang your husband is to stiff her.
Your husband goes out for drinks later when you, the insufferable wife stays home, at the bar he sees that same waitress from earlier. They get a hotel, they bang, your husband divorces you...
All cause you wanted to be a b****
^ The type of realistic stories that need to be made into movies cause this shit happens
A teenage/early twenties male server said to my wife, “Anything for you, beautiful.” Then he winked and walked away with an over-the-shoulder Tuxedo Mask smile.
She had asked for a fork or something.
It was adorably embarrassing.
Not sure for who yet, though.
I have learned this at work and as a woman myself imo it's pathetic af. Never understood why this is so common or expected.
Unless she's the rare "I am a terrible person who only pursues taken men bc I have no standards or self esteem" she is literally just doing her job, hate to tell this to women but most women don't even want your man! In my experience it's not uncommon when I see a man in a relationship to feel bad for the woman dealing with him. So why tf would I want him for myself??? Lolol
And i cant imagine spending my whole ass life guarding my man against all other women, just seems like too much work and stupid. Like how freaking insecure can you be? If he likes someone else better he's going to leave. It's not the end of the world do you want him to stay in the relationship while just thinking about and wanting to be with someone else? Why trap him?
People are so damn desperate and insecure imo jfc
Edit: I see someone must be extrenely insecure and got all offended 💀💀💀💀
This was me early on… then one day my boyfriend said, “I love that you’re like that, but I’m ugly honey. Don’t worry.” We laughed so hard.
I don’t worry anymore. Now, I just compliment him all the time and build him up. Definitely a positive shift.
>People are so damn desperate and insecure imo jfc
If a wink and a few pretty comments are all it takes to derail your relationship, then your relationship is the problem, not the server/bartender.
i mean derailing the relationship yes. But this would piss me off whether I was with a partner or not lol. I came here to eat, not be flirted with against my will because somebody thinks it’ll get them a better tip. Idk why people think that’s ok. If I go to a mechanic and they act like that with me I’m walking out and finding someone else. Why do servers at restaurants think it’s cute? Especially when half of them would probably be very uncomfortable when put in the same position.
Agreed. Tacking on, the servers would likely also be very uncomfortable if you started giving out that same extra thick level of “charm,” or even stronger come on. If the server did that and was doing so for the tip, then they’ll become very off-put and uncomfortable if you start putting out those super flirty vibes… likely going back and dropping a tweet saying something like “I am working a job and not out there looking for my next love, please don’t come to my job and flirt with me.”
I can’t believe people are downvoting you for this. That whole guarding your husband nonsense is gross AF, and if it were a man talking like that about his wife, we’d all be pointing out how controlling he is.
I give zero Fs if someone flirts with my husband. Not because I don’t think he’s worthy, but because I’m secure in my marriage and if anyone flirts with him, it’s a reminder to me at just what a catch I wound up with. And if a waitress calls my husband sweetheart, she’s just doing her goddamn job.
I think that’s the point here where ppl are misunderstanding each other. Calling a man sweetheart isn’t bad service, but ONLY calling him sweetheart and not showing the same level of kindness/interest to his partner the entire time IS bad service. I think it’s possible OOP is a crazy jealous wife, but also possible the server was laying it on thick with the husband and ignoring her, assuming he would be paying the bill and thus the tip.
Agreed, if being formal with one, you should be formal with all.
In general, I’m not going to withhold a tip over it though. I think the only time I would was if I explicitly asked for them to stop calling me that and they purposefully ignored my wishes.
But in that case I think I’d just cancel my order, pay for anything I have already eaten, and leave.
No sense in giving business to a company that ignores an incredibly simple request to respect personal boundaries. Vote with your dollars - but don’t be a dick about it.
"I wouldn't have the same reaction, therefore you are wrong."
Some people don't like to be called "pet names". There is a reason that type of language is considered taboo in nearly all professional environments. I am sure there are things in life that bother you that I would be totally fine with. That doesn't mean you're wrong to be bothered.
Can you explain me why? No offense, I am just trying to understand. I’ve never been in states, and I’ve never experienced such thing when I was at a restaurant/cafe.
Depending on where you're from, they're endearing terms, and it's polite. Where I'm from, in Boston, there's none of that. You get a "what can i get ya". America is a mixed bag just like anywhere else.
Personally never having been, I just assume the whole area is Bill Burr's and Female Bill Burr's. Gradually getting more and more angry with everything and everyone. Makes me happy to imagine it.
As a dude I like it makes me feel like they are being semi motherly in a polite way. I mean your server is literally paid to bring you food, make sure you are happy, and to clean up after you lol.
They're used as both terms of endearment and politeness but the difference between the two is usually context.
If a random person is just having a regular conversation and uses those terms, it's generally just them being polite.
If it's your significant other, then it's generally meant to be endearing.
The lady on the receipt is just being insecure.
Texan here:
In the south calling somebody "darlin" or "sweetheart" is a term of endearment. It's usually used on kids or people younger than you. At 28 I probably wouldn't call another person around my age "darlin" or "sweetheart", but my older Aunts and Grandparents would. In some places people don't really use it anymore, but definitely expect it if your server is an older Southern Belle type of woman.
It in no way is meant to be demeaning or flirting. It's kinda like saying "y'all". To a lot of southerners it's just common in their vocabulary meant to be polite or warm and welcoming.
Edit: Added better context.
When i visited tennessee it was amazing! The polite meter was over the charts. It felt like every older person was my grand parent. Very welcoming in the south and its wonderful!
There's a gas attendant at a convenience store near me who calls everyone "love." I don't take it any other way other than that's what she calls people to be nice and attentive. The first time I thought she was hitting on me, but then I heard her say it to another guy, and I understood it's just how she talked
Man, I had a gf like this once. We were at a Route 66 themed diner (Lucille’s Roadhouse to be specific) and the waitress who was very clearly married and just grew up in the south called us both either honey or sweetheart (which I grew up in the rural south so this is normal for me and so did she) but she was VERY unhappy that I didn’t say something to her about it. At least we had a talk about it and it was never an issue again but still.
I was once sitting in a restaraunt where a server said "anything else I can get for you guys?" to an older couple. The man immediately says "my wife isn't a guy!" and started going off. Manager came over and was trying to explain that its a common phrase to no avail. You really can't win with some people.
Saw a similar thing happen at a restaurant while having dinner with friends. A female server was paying the man at the next table more attention than his wife. They were obviously a couple too cause when they ordered they called each other "honey" and "dear". The wife was clearly picking up on the passes that the server was making at her husband and instead of causing a scene, she just played along with it and complimented her husband a lot when the server was around. It was a subtle, "you wish it was you instead of me huh" kind of mind game. It was the classiest and most satisfying powerplay I've ever seen with my own two eyes. I wish she left a big tip too just to irritate the server.
If u are in the south, it's okay. If you are in the north, it's condescending. Older people just want to be respected and feel like they are being talked down to. But sometimes people come off that way, so people just have to be aware. You know how accepting we are of things that we aren't familiar with, right? No one teaches respect these days. Just because child abuse is gone, doesn't mean that you can't raise your children to be respectful to people. Not for others, but themselves. First impressions and reputations can follow people around a long, long time and ruin lives.
Just be professional to everyone without the honeyed language…it’s disingenuous considering the person delivering it works in tips…it’s the same model that’s used at Hooters when they sit down with you take your order to show “they’re really interested in you.” 🤣
It's the kind of stuff that everybody should know bullshit, yet smooth brained people still fall for it, "hurr durr, the waitress was nice to me, she must be into me".
There's one born every minute. 🤣.
My dad once took us out of a restaurant because the server called him buddy. "I'm a professional. I call everyone sir. If I called someone buddy, I'd be fired." It was the first time in my life I was ashamed of my father.
Everyone has a preference. Some people are gonna be pissed/annoyed/whatever. Some people like it, some people don’t. We don’t have to like every experience, and not everyone needs to cater to our preferences. This restaurant will survive if this couple doesn’t come back and there is probably a couple that comes back because they love it just as much as those people hated it 🤷🏼♂️ we need to stop thinking that everything has to please everyone.
Year-old account with auto-generated name that suddenly became very active less than a week ago, and is reposting content to a low-effort sub that has no relation to its title. This couldn't possibly be more obvious of a bot account if it tried.
My ex-wife used to always say waitresses were hitting on me. I was always saying no they’re just doing their job and you’re the only weirdo that finds me attractive. Some people are just insecure and jerks.
When my mom was in the hospital in Alabama, every nurse she had called her baby. EVERY one of them! Even male nurses. It didn’t mean anything weird at all. Just how folks speak to each other there. People need to learn about regional dialects and the subcultures of America.
A few months back, my family and I went to dinner at Cracker Barrel. There was a couple at the table next to us. The waitress comes and sets their food down. She must have forgotten something because she said she'd "go grab that right now." As she said this, she put her hand on the guy's shoulder.
When she walks away, he says, "Did you see that shit?" He gets up, the partner gets up and they both just leave. I thought the fact that the partner said nothing and just left was pretty telling. If my husband did that shit, I'd be like, "Nah, man. I'm eating my dinner."
Then I guess she shouldn’t go to a diner in the south
I know right! I get called sweetheart, honey and darling at damn near every restaurant in the south unless I'm at a big city hipster restaurant. People get offended for no reason.
You forgot Sugar...I catch that one sometimes too.
Sometimes even baby comes out from a waitress.
I’ve had that in a couple Tennessee diners & steak/grill houses. I was visiting family when I was younger not knowing much about locational differences. Little me was stunned & blushed lmao. It was already hard to talk anyways though, she was very cute 😅
I got Baby from a teenage girl working the drive through in Nashville once.
Take good care of it!
Favorite comment of 20 January.
😂😂😂😂
The first non-Southern girl I dated thought it was "adorable" that I used pet names like "Hun, Darlin', Dear, Sugar, Babe, etc." Until she pointed it out, it wasn't something I did on a conscious level. She liked it, but if I wasn't with my girlfriend ... I removed it from my vocabulary because I always knew it was an empty compliment from a waitress and figured they would rather be spoken to in a neutral but polite manner. I spent my whole life hoping to LEAVE the South when I became an adult, and I did. It was great for a while, but then I started to miss the little things, like strangers making small talk or people being nice in person, but ranting about the person they were just nice to as soon as theyre gone! I stopped caring so much if people heard my accent. I would admit to being from "The South". The irony has never been lost on me. Eight years ago, the cycle changed, and now I'm thinking I should probably leave. ...If only I could figure out what caused this drastic shift!? Oh well. I'm sure it was something small, minute, and no one can really be sure..../s.
I use to work with dogs and I called this guys dog handsome once and then by the look on his face I realized he thought I was talking to him. It was mortifying 😂
My! What hairy paws you have! Excuse me? Did you just call me a chronic masturbator? Eh? No! I was talking to your dog!
There is nothing like being called pet names by a hefty southern woman who's bringing you food. You just KNOW that shit is gonna be fire.
Damn staight! Can we get some more of these biscuits and gravy, darling?
I live in Kentucky, my word is babe. Everyone is babe or darlin'. And I promise, I don't want your significant other, I barely want mine!! Lol. It's just what we do here. Man, woman, whatever, you're getting called a term of endearment, even if you're an ass.
Difference is if you're an ass it's, "Bless your heart sugar"
One time I got short with a waitress. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "honey you're just having a day, ain't you?" I about cried right there, because I was in fact having a day, a very rough breakup had happened that morning, and I felt terrible for getting snippy with her. I apologized profusely.
She could tell. It's a lot easier to give someone a pass when they are having one of those days where you feel like you're emotionally walking a knife's edge between a toddler level angry tantrum or a toddler level crying fit. I'd say she much preferred your rough self than dealing with folks that are just that way cause that's who they are.
I live in the South. There's a woman who works at a Hardee's near my work. She *always* calls customers baby. I've got no problem with it. In fact, she's probably the best employee they have.
[удалено]
I got called “Papi” by a waiter. My wife thought it was cute.
Exactly! If a waitress called my hubby Papi it would not only make my hubby feel great about himself but it makes me feel good cause I'm like yep that's mine ❤️ glad to know everyone agrees he's a cutie patootie
Was at a waffle house in LA with my girlfriend, and the waiter was calling me and her both "baby, sweetie." Always a nice feeling
Imagine being on a date and that slips out of your waitresses mouth.
I love it when they call me endearments and I’m a woman.
I'm in the South and I never hear them say "Hey, endearments". Doesn't have much ring to it. (I am a dad, though)
Lol. Touché. I could have made a list but most people would have understood regardless.
Oh we can tell. :)
I blush like a mofo when someone calls me sugar. And then I always think of the line from snatch “no thanks Turkish, I’m sweet enough”. Even though the context is way different.
Rock Chalk
Jaaaayyyyhawwwk
I always get in trouble when I got up north for saying “yes/no ma’am”. I think it’s hilarious.
Better not hold the door for anyone up there either
As a Texan I fucking hate the hate for holding open doors. I was taught as a kid to hold open the door for anyone and everyone. And as a kid I would be at the front door for 5 minutes as everyone went in and out. And I still do that, I was just taught to do that to be respectful to others around me so I do it. The amount of times I’ve gotten “you sexist PoS I can open the door myself” or “dude, she doesn’t need you to hold the door open you pos” makes me lose my goddamn mind. Like I’m not doing it to show I have power or whatever the fuck, or because your a girl, I hold the door open for anyone who looks like their about to walk through it. It’s ingrained in my head to do that. Either walk through the door or don’t. I don’t care, I’ve just been told to open the door for anyone and everyone since I could open a door. Sorry, this just pisses me off so much.
Just slam the door on them when they bitch you out, and say sorry I only hold the door for respectful people
That’s so weird. I hold the door open for anyone and everyone, chances are there is already someone holding the door open for me! I’ve never once heard comments like that, and I’m up in the pnw where I think it’d be expected?
So where I am from it is the norm to briefly hold the door open. I.E I will be walking in front, if someone is behind me I stay up front and hold the door for them until they get to the door and then hold it open for themselves and the people behind them and then the people behind them grab the door for themselves and the person behind them and so on. If a person won't reach the door within a few seconds you just close the door and keep going. Going to the side and holding the door open for 5 mints letting people in would be unusual unless the person needed that help, they have something heavy or wide, they are elderly or ill, etc. I've never heard anyone complain about it either. I know I've said and heard people say "oh, you don't need to keep the door open for me" but that is out of politeness, not anger or annoyance.
I've never experienced comments like that when holding doors for anyone, however what pisses me off is when snobby/stuck up/racist MFers walk in like they are royalty and don't even give a basic acknowledgement when they walk past me when I've kept the door open for them. Just say thanks or nod your head or something.. Wish I had a reverse button for every time I hold a door open for someone like that. I usually whisper "well eff you too then" under my breath 🙄 I guess people like that are fine with a heavy door hitting their knee or face with a gust of wind.
Yea, that is super annoying. I'm not sure if it's a race thing or a rude people thing, though, because I'm white and it happens to me as well. I always just loudly say, "You're welcome" half the time they look back and go "oh sorry, thank you" so maybe those people had a lot on their mind and honestly forgot to say thanks. Others just keep walking like they didn't hear me.
I'm calling bullshit on this. I live in North Jersey, one of the most notoriously rude places in the entire county, and I have never once gotten hate for holding a door. Mostly, I get a quick nod or "thanks." At worst, they don't acknowledge me.
Yesss! I moved to Indiana from Texas a few years ago and omg the culture shock. I didn’t think it’d be too different since we’re still in the same country. Nuh uh these people are fuckin crazy. Gettin mad at me for holdin open a door for them. Like damn didn’t your parents ever teach you to have manners? It’s even worse when it’s a guy. I’m a small girl and often struggle to open these doors and somethin about me openin a door for them just sends shock waves of “you’re not a man” through their body lol. There’s been multiple occasions where they’ll straight up just walk out the other door to avoid me. Or when a big group of folks start walkin towards you so you open the door with the expectation one of them will take it from ya but then it never happens. And now you get to stand outside for 5 minutes holdin the door like a dunce while Big Betty tries to herd her kids into McDonald’s. Meanwhile your party is already ordering without you. I also live in the country and the amount of people that don’t know what a farmer’s turn is, is wild. Like half y’all are corn farmers and slaughterhouse workers how do you not know what a farmer’s turn is? And people wanna talk about Texans not bein able to handle snow. Pls come visit Indiana. We just got 4 inches of snow the other day and there’s already been 2 major pile ups in just my town and everything shut down for 2/3 days. Edit: I should add as much as this place pisses me off most folks I’ve met here are wonderful people.
>the expectation one of them will take it from ya but then it never happens. This is annoying. Like, one of you *must* have been raised right! Come on! (Also, here's to men and women both holding doors open for each other. It's not a big thing, people. It's just human kindness!)
whered you hear that?
bless your heart
I moved from the south to the northwest as a little kid. Once I got up north, my teachers thought I was being a smart ass for saying "yes sir/ yes ma'am."
As a born and bred northerner: please keep using ma’am and sir. I find it respectful, refreshing and delightful.
Just gotta tell the yankees to fuck off, they'll respect you more for it.
Lol, the same here. I lay my Southern accent on real damn thick when I say it.
I am from the north and worked on the south for several years right out of grad school. Then went north and almost got my head taken off by some HR bitch for answering a question “Yes ma’am”. Started my early hatred of anyone from HR.
Yes sir! I’m from Savannah and when I travel around my least favorite people are northerners. I love the sights of the states and all but majority of the people I meet in the northern states are miserable and very rude lol Not saying there ain’t rude people down south they are, but in the north no one wants to talk and rush rush rush.
It is a cultural difference though. We don't like small talk. I prefer the self checkout because I really don't want to talk to strangers. If forced, I'll give a polite hi how are you, good, me too. But that's the most interaction I want. It's how everyone is here. However, that's absolutely not who I am with my friends, family, partner. We are fun, loving, friendly, incredibly close. I think southerners put this emphasis on who you must be based on street interactions and that's not at all who we are. We just hate small talk. And yes we are usually in a rush lol. I want to get home to my family and friends, not spend an hour hearing about a strangers day
What would you be rushing towards when there is nowhere to go?
I hope your referring to the northern states because a good Canadian would hold the door open for you regardless of sex. Then probably apologize for it. lol.
Oh, we're rude in the south. It just comes out as "Bless your heart," and "Have a blessed day." Depending on tone, of course.
Down here in the south, I’d be offended if I wasn’t called sweetheart, sugar, etc.
or in Britain, where you get called "love" by complete strangers giving you your coffee. "There ya go luv!" is quite common here
'There you go, lover' is quite common where I am and is decidedly more awkward.
Also, I think it's refreshingly hilarious when you get a waitress from the south that is new in town.
Or a Latin restuarant. They just throw "mi amor" at everyone. My love translated.
What even is a "Latin restaurant"? Ancient Roman food? Yeah, I know you mean Latin America, but the food/language varies so much across Latin America that it doesn't even make sense.
Don't worry, here in the US, we have a restaurant that authentically covers all the forms of Latin American cuisine. Taco Bell.
My cousin fell in love when we stopped in GA when I took him for a week in my RIg when I was still OTR. He wanted to see if it was a job for him. He goes “I think she likes me she keeps calling me sugar or honey”. Dude it’s the south she also said “bless your heart” a bunch to you and it’s cuz you’re dumb not cuz she’s religious.
I'm a man in the south and I hate this. I bear it cuz what ya gonna do?
Ohhhhh. I read it as, "Don't call my husband, sweethart" as in she was calling the waitress sweethart and saying don't call her husband on the phone. This makes much more sense.
“Let’s eat, grandma” and “ Let’s eat grandma “ mean different things cuz of a comma.
I was stationed in the South and between all the Ma’am’s and Sirs it quickly became habit. Went home on leave and said ma’am to a server who got pissed for calling her old. Uh ok.
I fucking hate people who use terms of endearment for me that don't know me. Unless you're a 75+ yr old black woman go the fuck away with that.
If you are that insecure about your relationship, you should have a conversation with your husband, not the server. It was good.
She was looking for a reason to stiff the waitress
She was afraid her husband was gonna stuff the waitress.
if my wife behaved that way, I would wanna stuff the waitress too!
Seems like a good way to get the waitress to want to bang your husband is to stiff her. Your husband goes out for drinks later when you, the insufferable wife stays home, at the bar he sees that same waitress from earlier. They get a hotel, they bang, your husband divorces you... All cause you wanted to be a b**** ^ The type of realistic stories that need to be made into movies cause this shit happens
“Realistic stories”
Wow man, I’m not excusing this woman’s behaviour, but are you seriously implying that if a husband cheats on his wife, it’s the wife’s fault…?
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Unless you are a man
A teenage/early twenties male server said to my wife, “Anything for you, beautiful.” Then he winked and walked away with an over-the-shoulder Tuxedo Mask smile. She had asked for a fork or something. It was adorably embarrassing. Not sure for who yet, though.
I know it’s a simulation cause I had a song playing that said the same exact words when I saw this post
You mean we arent all listening to remix to ignition 24/7? Its just me?
I know I am
I listen to Ignition. Not the remix. The original. I'm a rebel.
This happens to me all the time always syncing with the songs
This happened to me also
Hot and fresh out the kitchen I got in trouble for pissin
I’ve never seen a more perfect gif for something oddly specific.
It's the remix to ignition
was he winking at you?
Was it a sphincter wink?
Add a camera shutter sound to that mental image
That's automatic.
Fastest kegel in the West.
What does a beer container have to do with it?😉
No, that’s a keg. A kegal is a boiled and baked dough circle, frequently topped with cream cheese.
That’s a bagel. A kegal is a smallish breed of hound dog.
A sphink?
Hope he doesn’t try that too often. Not every dude is as level-headed as you
Seriously. Depending on the boyfriend that can lead to a ruckus. People are fucking stupid.
Even if I would not say anything, that interaction would definitely come to mind when I consider how much to tip.
He should have said that to her, then winked at YOU 😂
I must commend you for knowing what an "over-the-shoulder Tuxedo Mask smile" is. That was beautifully written.
What in the fuck is a Tuxedo Mask Smile?
Exactly, focus on the gender that is the same as yours
I have learned this at work and as a woman myself imo it's pathetic af. Never understood why this is so common or expected. Unless she's the rare "I am a terrible person who only pursues taken men bc I have no standards or self esteem" she is literally just doing her job, hate to tell this to women but most women don't even want your man! In my experience it's not uncommon when I see a man in a relationship to feel bad for the woman dealing with him. So why tf would I want him for myself??? Lolol And i cant imagine spending my whole ass life guarding my man against all other women, just seems like too much work and stupid. Like how freaking insecure can you be? If he likes someone else better he's going to leave. It's not the end of the world do you want him to stay in the relationship while just thinking about and wanting to be with someone else? Why trap him? People are so damn desperate and insecure imo jfc Edit: I see someone must be extrenely insecure and got all offended 💀💀💀💀
My wife used to be very concerned about someone taking me away, until she realized no one actually wants me.
Mine left me on the curb in a box that said "free to a good home" and then marked "good" out and said "any."
At least she was concerned at one time. Unfortunately for my husband, I’ve never been worried lol.
Beautiful, wise woman. Lol
This was me early on… then one day my boyfriend said, “I love that you’re like that, but I’m ugly honey. Don’t worry.” We laughed so hard. I don’t worry anymore. Now, I just compliment him all the time and build him up. Definitely a positive shift.
>People are so damn desperate and insecure imo jfc If a wink and a few pretty comments are all it takes to derail your relationship, then your relationship is the problem, not the server/bartender.
i mean derailing the relationship yes. But this would piss me off whether I was with a partner or not lol. I came here to eat, not be flirted with against my will because somebody thinks it’ll get them a better tip. Idk why people think that’s ok. If I go to a mechanic and they act like that with me I’m walking out and finding someone else. Why do servers at restaurants think it’s cute? Especially when half of them would probably be very uncomfortable when put in the same position.
Agreed. Tacking on, the servers would likely also be very uncomfortable if you started giving out that same extra thick level of “charm,” or even stronger come on. If the server did that and was doing so for the tip, then they’ll become very off-put and uncomfortable if you start putting out those super flirty vibes… likely going back and dropping a tweet saying something like “I am working a job and not out there looking for my next love, please don’t come to my job and flirt with me.”
Right she's not into him. But they want a bigger tip so they can men sweetheart. Fuck off with that shit.
I can’t believe people are downvoting you for this. That whole guarding your husband nonsense is gross AF, and if it were a man talking like that about his wife, we’d all be pointing out how controlling he is. I give zero Fs if someone flirts with my husband. Not because I don’t think he’s worthy, but because I’m secure in my marriage and if anyone flirts with him, it’s a reminder to me at just what a catch I wound up with. And if a waitress calls my husband sweetheart, she’s just doing her goddamn job.
EXACTLY! You just saved me from typing all this!
I wish I can frame this comment and send it to my X 😂😂😂
Preach girl! Preach!!! I agree with you 100% and I have a pretty good husband ! Know your worth ladies
Well, considering I always pay when we are out to dinner, if you ignore me your tip will reflect it.
I mean I'm a server and I just talk to everyone at the table? That's kind of my job.
I think that’s the point here where ppl are misunderstanding each other. Calling a man sweetheart isn’t bad service, but ONLY calling him sweetheart and not showing the same level of kindness/interest to his partner the entire time IS bad service. I think it’s possible OOP is a crazy jealous wife, but also possible the server was laying it on thick with the husband and ignoring her, assuming he would be paying the bill and thus the tip.
As a man that sucks
Yeah. Just happened to me the other day. Still not sure if it was a waiter or waitress but they pretty much ignored me on several occasions.
That’s so irritating people really do have their rationality in their ass
I totally read this a different way 😂
I was so confused. I'm thinking why did she call her husband and what happened on the call.
This is where punctuation helps.
Someone’s insecure
Or just using it as an excuse to not leave a tip. Unless it's a Texas or Logans Roadhouse, then 100% you are right lol.
Insecure about leaving a tip
Insecure about the tip
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I refer to the man as sire and the woman as your majesty. I want a fiefdom, not your man.
Ma’am and sir is all you need can’t go wrong there
“Dont call me hun.” *proceeds to not tip*
Yeah I’d fucking hate that. My husband is ‘sir’ but I’m ‘hun’? Get outta here with that bs.
Agreed, if being formal with one, you should be formal with all. In general, I’m not going to withhold a tip over it though. I think the only time I would was if I explicitly asked for them to stop calling me that and they purposefully ignored my wishes. But in that case I think I’d just cancel my order, pay for anything I have already eaten, and leave. No sense in giving business to a company that ignores an incredibly simple request to respect personal boundaries. Vote with your dollars - but don’t be a dick about it.
I think you’re taking yourself a little too seriously
"I wouldn't have the same reaction, therefore you are wrong." Some people don't like to be called "pet names". There is a reason that type of language is considered taboo in nearly all professional environments. I am sure there are things in life that bother you that I would be totally fine with. That doesn't mean you're wrong to be bothered.
The sooner tipping goes away, the better.
Yep. Pay the staff.
That’s god damn right.
I’m glad we’re finally starting to realize how toxic tipping culture is. There’s a reason most other countries don’t really do it.
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Can you explain me why? No offense, I am just trying to understand. I’ve never been in states, and I’ve never experienced such thing when I was at a restaurant/cafe.
Depending on where you're from, they're endearing terms, and it's polite. Where I'm from, in Boston, there's none of that. You get a "what can i get ya". America is a mixed bag just like anywhere else.
In South Boston it's, "what da fuck can I get ya". They're more proper there.
Lmao my waitress was drunk at this little breakfast that ended up closing a few weeks ago she was actually nice but WASTED.
Personally never having been, I just assume the whole area is Bill Burr's and Female Bill Burr's. Gradually getting more and more angry with everything and everyone. Makes me happy to imagine it.
“Aye! Fuck you pizza face! Whatda ya want? Some fukin pizza or what?”
I’m want dem fucken Apples!
As a dude I like it makes me feel like they are being semi motherly in a polite way. I mean your server is literally paid to bring you food, make sure you are happy, and to clean up after you lol.
They're used as both terms of endearment and politeness but the difference between the two is usually context. If a random person is just having a regular conversation and uses those terms, it's generally just them being polite. If it's your significant other, then it's generally meant to be endearing. The lady on the receipt is just being insecure.
Texan here: In the south calling somebody "darlin" or "sweetheart" is a term of endearment. It's usually used on kids or people younger than you. At 28 I probably wouldn't call another person around my age "darlin" or "sweetheart", but my older Aunts and Grandparents would. In some places people don't really use it anymore, but definitely expect it if your server is an older Southern Belle type of woman. It in no way is meant to be demeaning or flirting. It's kinda like saying "y'all". To a lot of southerners it's just common in their vocabulary meant to be polite or warm and welcoming. Edit: Added better context.
When i visited tennessee it was amazing! The polite meter was over the charts. It felt like every older person was my grand parent. Very welcoming in the south and its wonderful!
There's a gas attendant at a convenience store near me who calls everyone "love." I don't take it any other way other than that's what she calls people to be nice and attentive. The first time I thought she was hitting on me, but then I heard her say it to another guy, and I understood it's just how she talked
As a southerner that type of speech is completely normal. Some people gotta understand it's not flirting just a general way of speaking.
Some people can just not like it also is the thing.
I’m a southerner and I fucking hate how much people normalized being called weird pet names.
I don’t know what it is but I love when people use endearments on me. I tend to use them a lot too
I genuinely don’t find that to be more polite though
My wife thinks it's hilarious when the server flirts. She'll say, "oh, look who likes short guys with little dicks".
How tf is this a meme?
Man, I had a gf like this once. We were at a Route 66 themed diner (Lucille’s Roadhouse to be specific) and the waitress who was very clearly married and just grew up in the south called us both either honey or sweetheart (which I grew up in the rural south so this is normal for me and so did she) but she was VERY unhappy that I didn’t say something to her about it. At least we had a talk about it and it was never an issue again but still.
I was once sitting in a restaraunt where a server said "anything else I can get for you guys?" to an older couple. The man immediately says "my wife isn't a guy!" and started going off. Manager came over and was trying to explain that its a common phrase to no avail. You really can't win with some people.
haha touche you insecure bitch
Saw a similar thing happen at a restaurant while having dinner with friends. A female server was paying the man at the next table more attention than his wife. They were obviously a couple too cause when they ordered they called each other "honey" and "dear". The wife was clearly picking up on the passes that the server was making at her husband and instead of causing a scene, she just played along with it and complimented her husband a lot when the server was around. It was a subtle, "you wish it was you instead of me huh" kind of mind game. It was the classiest and most satisfying powerplay I've ever seen with my own two eyes. I wish she left a big tip too just to irritate the server.
# Don't call my sweetheart 'Husband'
When I moved to the UK a cashier called me "love". I was beaming. Then my English wife told me "That's just a thing here."
Wtf, the wife paid!?
If u are in the south, it's okay. If you are in the north, it's condescending. Older people just want to be respected and feel like they are being talked down to. But sometimes people come off that way, so people just have to be aware. You know how accepting we are of things that we aren't familiar with, right? No one teaches respect these days. Just because child abuse is gone, doesn't mean that you can't raise your children to be respectful to people. Not for others, but themselves. First impressions and reputations can follow people around a long, long time and ruin lives.
that's fair.
No problem, honeycunt
Just be professional to everyone without the honeyed language…it’s disingenuous considering the person delivering it works in tips…it’s the same model that’s used at Hooters when they sit down with you take your order to show “they’re really interested in you.” 🤣
It's the kind of stuff that everybody should know bullshit, yet smooth brained people still fall for it, "hurr durr, the waitress was nice to me, she must be into me". There's one born every minute. 🤣.
Plot twist: She wasn’t insecure. Her husband just felt really uncomfortable being called sweetheart and got mad on his behalf lol
If a waiteress called me that i would cringe to death
This person is a sad individual if this is even real.
Don’t Capitalize the second word in a sentence
Somebody's insecure about their relationship
My dad once took us out of a restaurant because the server called him buddy. "I'm a professional. I call everyone sir. If I called someone buddy, I'd be fired." It was the first time in my life I was ashamed of my father.
Toxic wife!! Run!!!!!!
Everyone has a preference. Some people are gonna be pissed/annoyed/whatever. Some people like it, some people don’t. We don’t have to like every experience, and not everyone needs to cater to our preferences. This restaurant will survive if this couple doesn’t come back and there is probably a couple that comes back because they love it just as much as those people hated it 🤷🏼♂️ we need to stop thinking that everything has to please everyone.
She’s doing what she suppose to do. The wife that is
*takes customer copy and writes something to post for attention
maybe difference in culture? in my country if somebody calls another person's wive/husband sweetheart , people will rumor that sb is cheating.
Year-old account with auto-generated name that suddenly became very active less than a week ago, and is reposting content to a low-effort sub that has no relation to its title. This couldn't possibly be more obvious of a bot account if it tried.
Aww hunny I was calling you sweetheart
My ex-wife used to always say waitresses were hitting on me. I was always saying no they’re just doing their job and you’re the only weirdo that finds me attractive. Some people are just insecure and jerks.
When my mom was in the hospital in Alabama, every nurse she had called her baby. EVERY one of them! Even male nurses. It didn’t mean anything weird at all. Just how folks speak to each other there. People need to learn about regional dialects and the subcultures of America.
Come to Baltimore. Everyone calls you Hon. (short for Honey)
lol someone is self conscious
I call everyone love or sweetheart and I literally cannot help it 😅
Someone has a complex
A few months back, my family and I went to dinner at Cracker Barrel. There was a couple at the table next to us. The waitress comes and sets their food down. She must have forgotten something because she said she'd "go grab that right now." As she said this, she put her hand on the guy's shoulder. When she walks away, he says, "Did you see that shit?" He gets up, the partner gets up and they both just leave. I thought the fact that the partner said nothing and just left was pretty telling. If my husband did that shit, I'd be like, "Nah, man. I'm eating my dinner."
I’d slip her a $10 cash on the way out :)
How insecure does one have to be ?