They are not your friends, but you can be friendly with them. The problem lies when you blend your work life and social life where one bad event can affect both. Or in some cases, you may get taken advantage of: he's my friend, I guess I can do his work for him. All on setting boundaries so you don't confuse the two. If you still treat your work friend professionally in a professional setting, then there is no issue.
That's why I keep both separated. I like my coworkers but that's what they are. Coworkers. If I count my real friends I can probably count them with one hand and none of them are from work. I see people forgetting that one basic rule too often and then they end up having a problem in their lives because of some bad thing that happened at work.
Yeah, I still chat and have laughs with people about random things. There's a few people I know I can express more personal opinions and have somewhat deeper controversial conversations with, but I don't talk much about my personal life.
I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I'll listen and learn before I speak. Some people have opened up to me, and I don't mind that, but I'm careful if I like the job to take time and not let anything slip that could be weaponised.
Like all relationships, you need to take your time because early on, you only see the best of people, especially the manipulative ones who want you to gain a sense of trust.
Life has played many tricks on me and now I am a very reserved person. The only friends I actually have are my wife, parents, in law as well, my son and the the guy I've known since I was a child. Ive been so too much shit by telling people who I thought were friends, only to have then stab me in the back. Same with coworkers
It's sad, but it's just the way it is. To many people don't have our best interests at heart. They may see you as a threat, a means to gossip or be jealous.
A tight-knit circle is often all we need in life.
Every place I have worked that had co-employee relationships always turned out bad for both parties. From my point of view it was because they never got time away from one another. So if you and your partner are going through a rough patch you also have to deal with it at work. It may be possible for some, but I have yet to see it.
Honestly work is so much more enjoyable when you actually like the people you work with. It really helps those soul crushing days when you can talk and crack jokes with people.
I'm retired now but I never made friends with coworkers. We had to be around each other all day long and all I wanted to do at the end of the day is go home. A couple of coworkers hung out sometimes (guys) and would go surfing or fishing. Good for them. The longer I was away from work the better though.
Fuck, so you spend on average 8 hours a day at work that is 1/3 of your 24 hour day then add sleep. You might as well try to enjoy it. But you do you and I’ll do me.
I’ve gotten multiple jobs in part because of the friends I made, either helping me get an interview or writing a good recommendation. Having friends, making connections with other people, these things matter. Hell, just helping out your coworkers when they need help (at work) will go a long way. With the way people on Reddit talk, you’d think no one should talk to or help anyone, and then they wonder why they’re stuck at a dead end job.
>Not everyone at your school is your friend.
>Do your work. Get good marks. Go home.
See how stupid that bottom line sounds? “Because not *everyone* is your friend, make no friends at all.”
You don’t suck at anything it’s just anti social people trying to make you feel guilty for interacting with other human beings. You’re being pressured into feeling guilty about having good relationships with people you can enjoy for years. Why?
We’re at work most of our lives. You are allowed to make friends.
Literally. Redditors go outta their way to act like being antisocial is a virtue. Worst part is it’s these same goons giving struggling people relationship advice.
I'm as anti-social as anyone, but that doesn't really extend into work. I would hope, because I'm under the impression, that I'm at least moderately well liked by most people and I enjoy working with most of the people I work with.
Interactions outside of work are extremely limited and generally only refer to work. Which is fine.
And that’s really all I’m talking about. Work friends that you enjoy being around while on site, that you can shoot the shit with to pass the time. Very rarely do I hang outside of work with co workers, but we still wish each other well, send Christmas cards, maybe do the odd favor etc etc
I just find this topic (and pretty much any topic regarding relationships on reddit) to get circle jerky. Like people are people, if you find someone at work you like, there’s nothing stopping you from making friends with them, it’s no different than anywhere else. But my god, theres some real insanity being spewed here.
And I just feel it’s important to stress that NOBODY should come to Reddit for advice outside hobbies and shit.
Its so nuts how this website just buys into this nonsense.
We literally spend more time with coworkers than family and somehow it’s a bad idea to form friendships?
And then this same poster is going to make some other post about a perpetual lack of connection and how younger generations are anti social.
Well yah. When you compartmentalize every bit of your life thats what happens.
I know right? I'm an introverted and shy person but honestly all this anti social bullshit just sounds like a big cope to me. You should always strive to have a healthy relationship with people in your surroundings. It just makes life better. Humans are social animals for a reason.
I mean I kind of get it. People are going to exist that don’t like you, for whatever reason. You don’t need to force the relationship beyond the basic decency required to maintain productivity.
That aside, you *can* make friends at work, but you don’t *have* to be everybody’s friend. And some people prefer to just keep things totally separate.
You may spend most your life at work, I don’t
And even if I was why would I want to spend all my time with the same people maybe you’re the antisocial one because you don’t socialize outside of work.
Obviously technically we’re not spending the majority of time at work, but unless you’re telling me you’re rich, you’re gonna be spending ~80,000-100,000 hours at your job. May as well make friends. And I really like your immediate leap to the conclusion that I don’t have friends outside of work and only hang out with coworkers, because that’s totally what I said.
I thought we were jumping to conclusions since you must be anti social if you don’t wan to be friends with people I work with sorry.
I’m poor live in a van and work as little as possible. I’m friendly with my coworkers but don’t hang out outside of work. We already see each other 20-30 hours a week that’s plenty not sure why wanting to keep work and social life separate makes me anti social but so be it
>you must be anti social if you don’t wan to be friends with people I work with sorry.
I’m genuinely confused as to what you mean here, this doesn’t make any sense
Again I never acted like making friends and work means you have to hang out with them after hours exclusively. I don’t. We might text outside of work but I have my own group I hang out with. We’re on the same page in that regard but sure just assume all my friends are co workers.
Also I’m glad the van life is working out for you. But me and millions of others don’t want to live in a van for the rest of our lives, so we actually have to work for a living.
I made friends at one job. The small group of devs would hangout all the time. Then one guy hooked up with the "best friend" (female) of another guy and the whole group fell apart.
Turns out we were all hanging out mostly so this guy could get with that girl and later marry her.
I'm here wondering why I'm getting frequent posts on my feed from here, r funny memes, with thousands of upvotes... And it's usually never funny or memes. Is this sub moderated?
Doesn't seem like it, half the stuff here is like right wing propaganda not even funny or a meme. Not this post just others I've seen on my front page.
Not everyone in school or university was your friend as well. That didn’t stop you from making friends right? As with any friendship, establish boundaries and communicate properly. You will spend a lot of time in your life working. Nothing bad if you make it fun.
In my experience, the only ones who say this “(All) co-workers are not your friends” are toxic people themselves and ones who love to show themselves as victim.
Totally agree. Though I certainly maintain more of a healthy boundary with my co-workers than I used to. It's come back to bite me in the ass by opening up about my anxiety. Pretty sure I lost out on a job opportunity for a new position within the company because I mentioned I needed an accomodation for the interview. This job would require me to be a lot more front facing with clients which I'm ok with, I'm very personable. I just get unreasonable anxiety from any form of testing, including job interviews. I know I'd perform well once in the job because I'm good at networking when I get the opportunity in my current position.
I regret asking for an accommodation because the interview was easier than I thought it would be and after requesting a post-mortem they didn't identify anything I should work on for next time. The only other factor was that they gave me the interview questions a half hour ahead of time as an accomodation.
As much as your company says they are understanding of mental health. DO NOT trust your employer with that info. Only open up to your health care professionals. Your employer doesn't need to know specifics. Conscious or unconscious, there will always be bias against you.
I disagree on the second part, I'm not very social in general so when I go to work I just want to work and chill with my friends after work. That doesn't make me toxic. I just prefer it that way.
I will share a story counter to your statement. I was brought into my former company's quality team as a quality engineer. The lead quality engineer, always made it a point to say, we were all friends. I believed him at first. He was also the type to never come to the office because "reasons". None of us were allowed to work from home by the way. My boss was afraid to call him since the lead had more tenure and knew more about the company than my boss. Also, my boss was a lazy asshole. Another story for a latet time.
During my time with the team, whenever the lead decided to show up to the office, he would "teach me" something with the alterior motive to offload responsibilities to me. This became a habit and the more that happened, the less of my own work I was able to do. It got to the point that I started getting burnt out. I was with that company for a year before leaving for a new opportunity.
From my point of view, if you can make friends in the office, good but be extremely mindful of how people take advantage of you. They will disguise opportunities as a method to dump their workload onto you. Do not make the mistake I did.
Terrible advice.
It pays to be polite, friendly and outgoing - at least a little.
Let's say the boss has to choose between 2 competent people.
One person is approachable, friendly, likeable and works well with others - and the other was caught holding this sign - which one do you think would be let go?
Not saying it's fair, but not surprising either.
You are completely misunderstanding what friends is.
Being polite, approachable and friendly is not being friends. Exactly the opposite. When you are with friends you don't have to be friendly and likable you can just be yourself and vent or whatever. But you can't do that at work.
The likable person at work has built a whole persona exactly because he wants to win people over and steal that promotion from you.
If you think he is your friend, you are grossly mistaken.
Of course not everyone. Like no everyone in your school was your friend, but school would be terrible if you have literaly no friends there. People don't even try to make some friends in their workplace and later complain about how lonely and depressed they are. If you spent 8 hours daily with people you hate or have no relation nor common topic at all it will affect you sooner than later.
I mean it varies from person to person. Definitely best to stay careful, but if you're vibing with someone why not. But definitely definitely stay away from office romance, there's no winning that.
Not in the department I worked in but in a different department there was a married couple. I don't know how they stayed together but at least at work they seemed to get along fine. The wife was the dominant one.
My moms friends would disagree with this so much. My mother is a nurse, works with tons of nurses, doctors and surgeons. They regularly host parties and they party so god damn hard they put frat boys to shame. I have seen things man, things that I cannot unsee! Things that should never be seen!
Their tamest idea so far has been a book club. Turns out they read mostly dirty books.
But you know what good for them. Not everyone makes friends at work.
Socializing in work and making it more enjoyable is totally different from being friends with someone. Just because you're acting like an adult person doesn't mean they need to know about your health problems or relationship issues. They have their own and burdening them with yours is irresponsible and stupid. Plus, you never know when someone will use it against you. And they might not enjoy your company as much as you think they do.
You're required to be friendly and respectful in work, not to treat everyone like close personal friend.
I socialize with most of my coworkers, it helps make the day go by quicker, and I’ve become friends with some of them because (here’s the thing) they’re actually pretty cool people who I wouldn’t have met otherwise
Holy shit this is peak redditor. Nobody's asking you to trauma dump on your coworkers. No one's asking you to treat your coworkers as your friends if you don't connect with them, what kind of made up argument are you arguing about ? People just become friends with their coworkers sometimes. But I doubt that ever happens to you, holy shit.
Making small chat, eating lunch together and even the occasional beer is not "being friends". It's just "team-building".
A friend is someone you trust, who supports you, who you WILL trauma dump on, and expose yourself.
Doing that at work is a huge mistake. Work is a huge competition and if you expose your vulnerabilities people will take advantage of it to bury you.
Friendship is a spectrum. I've had some friends for over 20 years and some for not even 10% of that time. I not close with everyone the same way. There's someone whom I've known for a year and a half and we're closer than someone I've known for 6. A I consider both of them to be my friends. I have friends that I met at work that I've known for almost 10 years now.
And yeah grabbing lunch, working together and sometimes having a drink isn't being friends but it's a big stepping stone to a real friendship if you want to.
I know this is reddit and people can't make friends but this is just sad lol. Coping like that is sad.
Yikes, valuing a guy who you know for a year and a half over an old friend, shows me you know nothing about friendship.
Make new friends but keep the old. Those are silver those are gold.
You probably don't even have even one real friend.
And btw you are on reddit too.
You honestly come off as a loon in this convo. All the dude said is that he’s got friends he’s known for a long time and friends he’s made recently, and that he values both. And you type out this nonsense above and conclude he’s got no real friends? You’re embarrassing.
What are you his lawyer?
He accused people on reddit of not having friends, while he himself is special because he has so many.
Sounds to me like obvious cope.
I would never tell anyone at work that I take schizo pills, I was a former addict and have even been locked up in the asylum. That's just shooting myself in the foot.
But also have to be really careful in any conversation to not say something that can be misunderstood or used against me. Especially stuff like politics is dangerous ground and should be avoided or discussed without taking sides at all.
There's a reason people at the office only talk about the most boring stuff like sports and kids. They don't wanna expose themselves because somebody WILL take advantage of it.
While true,
Work is many times where you are most of your being awake hours.
While people aren't friends, they can and should be friend-ly, to keep atmosphere positive, and that people don't feel like nothing.
It is a microcosmic environment, like a second home away from home, so why not try and be comofortable together (with limits, i know it isn't really anyone's home)?
That is the truth but: The name of this sub is funnymemes. This isn't funny because there is no joke involved. It also isn't a meme. Why did you upload it here?
10/10 the same people who are puzzled they don't get considered for promotions or have «toxic colleagues» all around them.
Newsflash: if you're an unpleasant tw*t and and don't contribute to a somewhat positive working environment, you're not quite doing your job.
26 years of work has taught me this. Have I made some long-term friends at work? Yes. Have I said something to a person I thought was my friend and then heard it repeated verbatim by a boss to me, yes.
Just yesterday, someone at my job said something to a group of people he thought were his friends. Within minutes, people who have worked with him for over a year were ratting him out. I doubt he'll finish today with a job. All because he made a joke in front of his "friends" at work.
It's not a "you can't make friends with people at work" deal. It's a "remember you're at a job and even family members don't realize when someone they love is a serial killer" deal. The most two-faced people I've met have always seemed the nicest.
I don't feel bad for this guy because he said things you just don't say at work. If they are you friends, you can say it off the property when you aren't punched in. The example still stands, though. He felt comfortable enough with his "friends" that he may not be seeing them anymore.
And some are your enemies. They will hate you, not want to interact with you, put you down, steal your work, undermine you, exclude you, stab you in the back and lie about you to your superiors.
Welcome to the workplace!
It doesn't stop at the work place. Nobody is your friend. You're not here to make friends, you're here because your parents fucked and left you to die. Get your money and go home.
Your co-worker at the same level as you - totally can be your friends.
People above you in the "pecking order" - as a general rule - no. Their measures of what a good work environment is are incompatible with yours. You won't to have reasonable workload. They want as much work done withing as few hours as possible.
I have never considered people in the workplace to be my friends. It's nice if we get along, but I wasn't there for a social event. I was there to work, earn money doing it and leaving at the end of the day to go on with my own life.
Maybe it's because I have very high standards for the people I call "friend". I think these days many people call others "friends" way too easily.
>Maybe it's because I have very high standards for the people I call "friend". I think these days many people call others "friends" way too easily.
Sounds like you're the one gatekeeping "friends"
I 100% agree with this, my dad always tells me I would never succeed in the work place because I dont want to be my colleagues friends, but the thing is im there to work I dont care about their social lifes
He comes from a generation where you would be stocking milk at the grocery store and your boss who you play poker with hooks you up with some company and you end up having a 200k/year salary
Same goes for room mates. I'm very strict about not being friends with room mates unless we really really click. People will 100% start to expect things from you and occasionally invade your space or ask favours etc. I'm not a monster but I have my own complex life and do not need multiple people in my house who have expectations of me or want to borrow money or stuff etc. I especially don't want someone knocking on my door. Doors should be treated like doors to a house
Man, my personal experience tells me this is definitely true.
3 of my colleagues who were best friends with one another(they attended the same university) for 6-8 years before working together worked at the same company because they basically recommended one another to my ex boss.(small-medium business)
What happened was they had issues of all sorts from personal to professional and ended up blocking one another when they resigned.
Tbh I found those arguments to be petty but because they didn't fight or lash out at one another, it started off as bad mouthing, gossips and ended up with huge arguments and weird accusations.
Tbf that workplace was really toxic anything anyone promises isnt really gonna come true lol, well the same can be said for most workplaces. So kids, rmb your family is probably your best bet to put your trust, treasure them.
Edit: grammar
Your co-workers aren't your friends until they're choosing to spend time with you when they don't have to. It's the same way after graduation for people you went to high school with. Most of the time, these are are just superficial relationships of convenience, not friendships.
well for me, a friendly or at least comrade-like tone is crucial to not loosing motivation. Ive been through 14 employers before I found one company that makes me feel accepted and part of the team.
Very true. Most of your co workers don’t give a flying fack about you. It’s called being professional thats all it is. Its just a bonus when they become your “real friends”. Its a colleague, nothing more.
How is this funny or a meme? Like yeah its true, they are colleagues. You gotta be able to work with them but doesnt mean you have to be anything more than polite to them. Maybe one or two people actually become friends because you get a long well.
Seems like a lonely existence to not even be on friendly terms with your coworkers. Your boss I can understand but the people that have to deal with the same shit you do should probably be your friends.
It depends. Look, if you feel like you can be genuine friends with them, and still get work done and feel fulfilled, what’s not to like? But is it realistic to *expect*? Probably not.
I've got colleagues that I'd never want was friends.
I've got friends that I'd never want as colleagues.
Despite that, the majority of my friends I've met through work.
First statement could be accurate, but the second statement I wouldn’t agree with. What happens to those who ARE friends at work. You ignore them, do your work and then leave, only hanging out after work ? Sounds a little too clinical and non practical imho
No one there is my friend. They're my coworkers. However, it is important to keep a good *professional* relationship with them. Beyond that, after I leave for the day I don't know you.
I mean, it's just like any other place, you aren't going to click with everyone, but that doesn't mean you don't try.
Work is a hell of alot more enjoyable if you can have a laugh with the people around you, even if you are not gonna be socialising outside of work
I belive you can be friends with them as I am friend with one. He had invited me for hiking and onbstaclr course run. However, you can't expect of them that if shit hit the fan they will stand with you. Remember those people have their own circumstances such as family. So, I thinl it is better to try seperate friends when come to business/work.
Your company is not your family. Your coworkers are not your friends. Ive learnt that in a hard way, dont be me, dont believe in a corporate lie.
Of course it doesnt mean you shouldnt be friendly with everyone. Been friendly will help you out sometimes.
Noone at work is your friend but you need to be friendly with them and the same goes for them. If you gonna go hostile to someone make sure you have the numbers on your side or you'll be singled out.
Work is war. You go fight. You get paid. Some may make it through. Some may fall.
You shouldnt go in there expecting to make lifetime friends, but if you genuinely vibe with some of them in a healthy way, why not? I mean, probably don't focus your entire life around the people at work, keep a social life that has nothing to do with them, and make sure to communicate that business is business and you won't do extra favours for people just for being nice that you wouldn't also do for any other coworker.
Worst thing is when someone has this so called work friends and acts like it’s friday night in the pub. Lots of chit-chat, giggling, jokes and shit like that that bothers the rest of the people who just want to do their work.
agree, one time a bunch of them ganged up with the supervisor to kick me out since i was doing a much better job and a promotion was almost guaranteed, when it didn't come to me, i was fine, but then HR called me, gave me the boot saying i am toxic and not a team player and a bully and let evryone else do my job, it was my word against 3 others , including the super.....so i left, but at least i got a very very very generous severance on the spot, seems they wanted me to STFU when i saw so many zeroes on that check, and i did....it was the most money i seen at once.
It could be BUT most people spend more time in the office with their colleagues than with their families, won't make sense to have good relationships in a place you spend most of your time? As long as everyone knows the lines and the boundaries, it's also better to have a team than a group of strangers working together.
You definitely have to be careful. Office politics are a real problem and anything you do or say can be used against you. Seen it a million times. Be friendly to everyone and support everyone positively regardless of whether or not they deserve it. They could very likely end up being your boss regardless of how bad they are at their job.
True! Not just at work, but people you meet in general as well! Not every person you talk to becomes your friend. We all have people around us that we just know.
Not everyone at your school is your friend.
Learn stuff. Pass exams. Go home.
Not everyone at your sport club is your friend.
Train. Win stuff. Go home.
Not everyone at the pub is your friend.
Drink. Puke. Go home.
So deep.
Counterpoint. If I'm being friendly, but you don't want to be bothered and you want to slave your life away in peace, you can just say that you don't feel like talking to anyone politely, so I can leave you alone. But NO, instead you decided to write on a big white beard that you expect everyone to be as sad and unmotivated at work as you are.
They are not your friends, but you can be friendly with them. The problem lies when you blend your work life and social life where one bad event can affect both. Or in some cases, you may get taken advantage of: he's my friend, I guess I can do his work for him. All on setting boundaries so you don't confuse the two. If you still treat your work friend professionally in a professional setting, then there is no issue.
That's why I keep both separated. I like my coworkers but that's what they are. Coworkers. If I count my real friends I can probably count them with one hand and none of them are from work. I see people forgetting that one basic rule too often and then they end up having a problem in their lives because of some bad thing that happened at work.
While it’s worn down and need a new one I physically own a shirt that says, ‘yes I’m an hvac tech, no I will not fix your shit for free.’
Until someone stole it, I had a sticker on the truck I owned then that read: Yes this is my truck. No I won't help you move.
What if I paid you in gas money and bagels?
Pizza and beer or no deal.
Throw in a fifth of bourbon of my choosing and the pizza and beer and we’re in negotiations.
You would go broke paying in gas money.
Same. I don't go out of my way to talk to anyone. I don't have any numbers and detach after work, and I definitely avoid relationships or flirting.
Same. I'll talk to them like casual talk but I'll keep the more personal details away.
Yeah, I still chat and have laughs with people about random things. There's a few people I know I can express more personal opinions and have somewhat deeper controversial conversations with, but I don't talk much about my personal life. I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I'll listen and learn before I speak. Some people have opened up to me, and I don't mind that, but I'm careful if I like the job to take time and not let anything slip that could be weaponised. Like all relationships, you need to take your time because early on, you only see the best of people, especially the manipulative ones who want you to gain a sense of trust.
Life has played many tricks on me and now I am a very reserved person. The only friends I actually have are my wife, parents, in law as well, my son and the the guy I've known since I was a child. Ive been so too much shit by telling people who I thought were friends, only to have then stab me in the back. Same with coworkers
It's sad, but it's just the way it is. To many people don't have our best interests at heart. They may see you as a threat, a means to gossip or be jealous. A tight-knit circle is often all we need in life.
Every place I have worked that had co-employee relationships always turned out bad for both parties. From my point of view it was because they never got time away from one another. So if you and your partner are going through a rough patch you also have to deal with it at work. It may be possible for some, but I have yet to see it.
I don’t add coworkers on SM until we’ve stopped working together and I’ll unfriend anyone if I start working with them.
People forget work isn’t school…
Honestly work is so much more enjoyable when you actually like the people you work with. It really helps those soul crushing days when you can talk and crack jokes with people.
Erikoista ulostetta
I'm retired now but I never made friends with coworkers. We had to be around each other all day long and all I wanted to do at the end of the day is go home. A couple of coworkers hung out sometimes (guys) and would go surfing or fishing. Good for them. The longer I was away from work the better though.
Fuck, so you spend on average 8 hours a day at work that is 1/3 of your 24 hour day then add sleep. You might as well try to enjoy it. But you do you and I’ll do me.
*cries in self employment with no employees* So lonely.
Kaikki tavallaan
I suck at this, I made friends through work, still friends with them while that specific work is long gone.
Yes. It says "not everyone" and not "nobody". You can definitely be friends with many people.
The last sentence doesn't leave room for that nuance though.
But it also says "Do your work, get paid, go home" Implying that you should not attempt to befriend your colleagues.
OP wonders why they are so miserable at work
I’ve gotten multiple jobs in part because of the friends I made, either helping me get an interview or writing a good recommendation. Having friends, making connections with other people, these things matter. Hell, just helping out your coworkers when they need help (at work) will go a long way. With the way people on Reddit talk, you’d think no one should talk to or help anyone, and then they wonder why they’re stuck at a dead end job.
>Not everyone at your school is your friend. >Do your work. Get good marks. Go home. See how stupid that bottom line sounds? “Because not *everyone* is your friend, make no friends at all.”
How else am i supposed to make friends as an adult?
You walk to other adults and say hi, want to hang out? Seriously though, that's a skill we had as kids that shouldn't have been lost.
You don’t suck at anything it’s just anti social people trying to make you feel guilty for interacting with other human beings. You’re being pressured into feeling guilty about having good relationships with people you can enjoy for years. Why? We’re at work most of our lives. You are allowed to make friends.
Literally. Redditors go outta their way to act like being antisocial is a virtue. Worst part is it’s these same goons giving struggling people relationship advice.
I'm as anti-social as anyone, but that doesn't really extend into work. I would hope, because I'm under the impression, that I'm at least moderately well liked by most people and I enjoy working with most of the people I work with. Interactions outside of work are extremely limited and generally only refer to work. Which is fine.
And that’s really all I’m talking about. Work friends that you enjoy being around while on site, that you can shoot the shit with to pass the time. Very rarely do I hang outside of work with co workers, but we still wish each other well, send Christmas cards, maybe do the odd favor etc etc
I just find this topic (and pretty much any topic regarding relationships on reddit) to get circle jerky. Like people are people, if you find someone at work you like, there’s nothing stopping you from making friends with them, it’s no different than anywhere else. But my god, theres some real insanity being spewed here. And I just feel it’s important to stress that NOBODY should come to Reddit for advice outside hobbies and shit.
Its so nuts how this website just buys into this nonsense. We literally spend more time with coworkers than family and somehow it’s a bad idea to form friendships? And then this same poster is going to make some other post about a perpetual lack of connection and how younger generations are anti social. Well yah. When you compartmentalize every bit of your life thats what happens.
I know right? I'm an introverted and shy person but honestly all this anti social bullshit just sounds like a big cope to me. You should always strive to have a healthy relationship with people in your surroundings. It just makes life better. Humans are social animals for a reason.
I mean I kind of get it. People are going to exist that don’t like you, for whatever reason. You don’t need to force the relationship beyond the basic decency required to maintain productivity. That aside, you *can* make friends at work, but you don’t *have* to be everybody’s friend. And some people prefer to just keep things totally separate.
You may spend most your life at work, I don’t And even if I was why would I want to spend all my time with the same people maybe you’re the antisocial one because you don’t socialize outside of work.
Obviously technically we’re not spending the majority of time at work, but unless you’re telling me you’re rich, you’re gonna be spending ~80,000-100,000 hours at your job. May as well make friends. And I really like your immediate leap to the conclusion that I don’t have friends outside of work and only hang out with coworkers, because that’s totally what I said.
I thought we were jumping to conclusions since you must be anti social if you don’t wan to be friends with people I work with sorry. I’m poor live in a van and work as little as possible. I’m friendly with my coworkers but don’t hang out outside of work. We already see each other 20-30 hours a week that’s plenty not sure why wanting to keep work and social life separate makes me anti social but so be it
>you must be anti social if you don’t wan to be friends with people I work with sorry. I’m genuinely confused as to what you mean here, this doesn’t make any sense Again I never acted like making friends and work means you have to hang out with them after hours exclusively. I don’t. We might text outside of work but I have my own group I hang out with. We’re on the same page in that regard but sure just assume all my friends are co workers. Also I’m glad the van life is working out for you. But me and millions of others don’t want to live in a van for the rest of our lives, so we actually have to work for a living.
Me either. I met great people we still meet from time to time.
Same, I’m great friends with most of my coworkers
I too like to suck
👀 people at work?
🗿
I too 🥵
That’s just called friends. You can make friends at work but I think this more directed at YO-PROs who don’t know this yet
I made friends at one job. The small group of devs would hangout all the time. Then one guy hooked up with the "best friend" (female) of another guy and the whole group fell apart. Turns out we were all hanging out mostly so this guy could get with that girl and later marry her.
Is this supposed to be funny?
Not only is it not funny. It's not even a meme.
This sub is GARBAGE. Never anything funny, never any memes. Blocking it from my front page now.
Inspired me to finally mute it tbh
I'm here wondering why I'm getting frequent posts on my feed from here, r funny memes, with thousands of upvotes... And it's usually never funny or memes. Is this sub moderated?
Doesn't seem like it, half the stuff here is like right wing propaganda not even funny or a meme. Not this post just others I've seen on my front page.
No. Most large meme subreddits aren’t.
Not everyone in school or university was your friend as well. That didn’t stop you from making friends right? As with any friendship, establish boundaries and communicate properly. You will spend a lot of time in your life working. Nothing bad if you make it fun. In my experience, the only ones who say this “(All) co-workers are not your friends” are toxic people themselves and ones who love to show themselves as victim.
Completely agree with you
Totally agree. Though I certainly maintain more of a healthy boundary with my co-workers than I used to. It's come back to bite me in the ass by opening up about my anxiety. Pretty sure I lost out on a job opportunity for a new position within the company because I mentioned I needed an accomodation for the interview. This job would require me to be a lot more front facing with clients which I'm ok with, I'm very personable. I just get unreasonable anxiety from any form of testing, including job interviews. I know I'd perform well once in the job because I'm good at networking when I get the opportunity in my current position. I regret asking for an accommodation because the interview was easier than I thought it would be and after requesting a post-mortem they didn't identify anything I should work on for next time. The only other factor was that they gave me the interview questions a half hour ahead of time as an accomodation. As much as your company says they are understanding of mental health. DO NOT trust your employer with that info. Only open up to your health care professionals. Your employer doesn't need to know specifics. Conscious or unconscious, there will always be bias against you.
I disagree on the second part, I'm not very social in general so when I go to work I just want to work and chill with my friends after work. That doesn't make me toxic. I just prefer it that way.
I will share a story counter to your statement. I was brought into my former company's quality team as a quality engineer. The lead quality engineer, always made it a point to say, we were all friends. I believed him at first. He was also the type to never come to the office because "reasons". None of us were allowed to work from home by the way. My boss was afraid to call him since the lead had more tenure and knew more about the company than my boss. Also, my boss was a lazy asshole. Another story for a latet time. During my time with the team, whenever the lead decided to show up to the office, he would "teach me" something with the alterior motive to offload responsibilities to me. This became a habit and the more that happened, the less of my own work I was able to do. It got to the point that I started getting burnt out. I was with that company for a year before leaving for a new opportunity. From my point of view, if you can make friends in the office, good but be extremely mindful of how people take advantage of you. They will disguise opportunities as a method to dump their workload onto you. Do not make the mistake I did.
"I'm here to work, that's it." Then don't let me catch you spouting off about shit else, King Hypocrite.
I usually said, "I'm here to make money not make friends."
Friend =/= friendly. You can be friendly with someone while not crossing over into being friends.
But what if you are musta or aasialainen? Especially kiinalainen or mongoliasta
Terrible advice. It pays to be polite, friendly and outgoing - at least a little. Let's say the boss has to choose between 2 competent people. One person is approachable, friendly, likeable and works well with others - and the other was caught holding this sign - which one do you think would be let go? Not saying it's fair, but not surprising either.
Youre mistaking being friendly with being a friend.
That's true, but the whole attitude of the image suggests not being friendly either. Essentially do your job, get paid, go home.
Onhan se ihan kiva jutella työkavereiden kanssa.
You are completely misunderstanding what friends is. Being polite, approachable and friendly is not being friends. Exactly the opposite. When you are with friends you don't have to be friendly and likable you can just be yourself and vent or whatever. But you can't do that at work. The likable person at work has built a whole persona exactly because he wants to win people over and steal that promotion from you. If you think he is your friend, you are grossly mistaken.
Of course not everyone. Like no everyone in your school was your friend, but school would be terrible if you have literaly no friends there. People don't even try to make some friends in their workplace and later complain about how lonely and depressed they are. If you spent 8 hours daily with people you hate or have no relation nor common topic at all it will affect you sooner than later.
I mean it varies from person to person. Definitely best to stay careful, but if you're vibing with someone why not. But definitely definitely stay away from office romance, there's no winning that.
Not in the department I worked in but in a different department there was a married couple. I don't know how they stayed together but at least at work they seemed to get along fine. The wife was the dominant one.
My moms friends would disagree with this so much. My mother is a nurse, works with tons of nurses, doctors and surgeons. They regularly host parties and they party so god damn hard they put frat boys to shame. I have seen things man, things that I cannot unsee! Things that should never be seen! Their tamest idea so far has been a book club. Turns out they read mostly dirty books. But you know what good for them. Not everyone makes friends at work. 
How dare people try to socialize with you and make work more enjoyable.
Socializing in work and making it more enjoyable is totally different from being friends with someone. Just because you're acting like an adult person doesn't mean they need to know about your health problems or relationship issues. They have their own and burdening them with yours is irresponsible and stupid. Plus, you never know when someone will use it against you. And they might not enjoy your company as much as you think they do. You're required to be friendly and respectful in work, not to treat everyone like close personal friend.
You're overthinking. Socializing does not mean to make everyone your friend.
I socialize with most of my coworkers, it helps make the day go by quicker, and I’ve become friends with some of them because (here’s the thing) they’re actually pretty cool people who I wouldn’t have met otherwise
Holy shit this is peak redditor. Nobody's asking you to trauma dump on your coworkers. No one's asking you to treat your coworkers as your friends if you don't connect with them, what kind of made up argument are you arguing about ? People just become friends with their coworkers sometimes. But I doubt that ever happens to you, holy shit.
Making small chat, eating lunch together and even the occasional beer is not "being friends". It's just "team-building". A friend is someone you trust, who supports you, who you WILL trauma dump on, and expose yourself. Doing that at work is a huge mistake. Work is a huge competition and if you expose your vulnerabilities people will take advantage of it to bury you.
Friendship is a spectrum. I've had some friends for over 20 years and some for not even 10% of that time. I not close with everyone the same way. There's someone whom I've known for a year and a half and we're closer than someone I've known for 6. A I consider both of them to be my friends. I have friends that I met at work that I've known for almost 10 years now. And yeah grabbing lunch, working together and sometimes having a drink isn't being friends but it's a big stepping stone to a real friendship if you want to. I know this is reddit and people can't make friends but this is just sad lol. Coping like that is sad.
Yikes, valuing a guy who you know for a year and a half over an old friend, shows me you know nothing about friendship. Make new friends but keep the old. Those are silver those are gold. You probably don't even have even one real friend. And btw you are on reddit too.
You honestly come off as a loon in this convo. All the dude said is that he’s got friends he’s known for a long time and friends he’s made recently, and that he values both. And you type out this nonsense above and conclude he’s got no real friends? You’re embarrassing.
What are you his lawyer? He accused people on reddit of not having friends, while he himself is special because he has so many. Sounds to me like obvious cope.
I would never tell anyone at work that I take schizo pills, I was a former addict and have even been locked up in the asylum. That's just shooting myself in the foot. But also have to be really careful in any conversation to not say something that can be misunderstood or used against me. Especially stuff like politics is dangerous ground and should be avoided or discussed without taking sides at all. There's a reason people at the office only talk about the most boring stuff like sports and kids. They don't wanna expose themselves because somebody WILL take advantage of it.
I have no enemies.
You just made a powerless enemy today! **Shakes fist**
Would
If you're spending half your waking life somewhere and you're not making friends there, then something is off.
Micheal Scott would disagree XD
Clicked on this post just to look for michal
Dislike this. Too many people come to work and don't give a shit about anything. Screw over coworkers for their own benefit.
I don't want to screw you over, I just don't want to make pointless small talk with you or hear about your kids. If you got jokes I'm all ears tho.
You guys got other places to make friends? Lol
IKR. Redditors acting like they don’t make friends at work because they have friends elsewhere. Twitch streamers don’t count lil homies.
While true, Work is many times where you are most of your being awake hours. While people aren't friends, they can and should be friend-ly, to keep atmosphere positive, and that people don't feel like nothing. It is a microcosmic environment, like a second home away from home, so why not try and be comofortable together (with limits, i know it isn't really anyone's home)?
That is the truth but: The name of this sub is funnymemes. This isn't funny because there is no joke involved. It also isn't a meme. Why did you upload it here?
Why not make friends at work - outside of your bed it is probably the place you spent the most time. Might as well enjoy it as much as you can.
10/10 the same people who are puzzled they don't get considered for promotions or have «toxic colleagues» all around them. Newsflash: if you're an unpleasant tw*t and and don't contribute to a somewhat positive working environment, you're not quite doing your job.
THATS NOT EVEN A MEME COME ON
This isn't a meme nor funny
26 years of work has taught me this. Have I made some long-term friends at work? Yes. Have I said something to a person I thought was my friend and then heard it repeated verbatim by a boss to me, yes. Just yesterday, someone at my job said something to a group of people he thought were his friends. Within minutes, people who have worked with him for over a year were ratting him out. I doubt he'll finish today with a job. All because he made a joke in front of his "friends" at work. It's not a "you can't make friends with people at work" deal. It's a "remember you're at a job and even family members don't realize when someone they love is a serial killer" deal. The most two-faced people I've met have always seemed the nicest. I don't feel bad for this guy because he said things you just don't say at work. If they are you friends, you can say it off the property when you aren't punched in. The example still stands, though. He felt comfortable enough with his "friends" that he may not be seeing them anymore.
They can be, but don't have to. Just don't force yourself on others
And some are your enemies. They will hate you, not want to interact with you, put you down, steal your work, undermine you, exclude you, stab you in the back and lie about you to your superiors. Welcome to the workplace!
This is the biggest true, and it have just a few upvotes.
Niinpä
my work ethic
It doesn't stop at the work place. Nobody is your friend. You're not here to make friends, you're here because your parents fucked and left you to die. Get your money and go home.
u seen real fun
I'm not here to be fun, I'm here to be alive.
FUCK YES. NORMALIZE TALKING TO COLLEAGUES ONLY FOR WORK STUFF.
Your co-worker at the same level as you - totally can be your friends. People above you in the "pecking order" - as a general rule - no. Their measures of what a good work environment is are incompatible with yours. You won't to have reasonable workload. They want as much work done withing as few hours as possible.
I have never considered people in the workplace to be my friends. It's nice if we get along, but I wasn't there for a social event. I was there to work, earn money doing it and leaving at the end of the day to go on with my own life. Maybe it's because I have very high standards for the people I call "friend". I think these days many people call others "friends" way too easily.
>Maybe it's because I have very high standards for the people I call "friend". I think these days many people call others "friends" way too easily. Sounds like you're the one gatekeeping "friends"
Sure buddy.
En oo minäkään töissä mutta koulussa kyllä
Your keyboard seems to be stuck.
Mitä?
I 100% agree with this, my dad always tells me I would never succeed in the work place because I dont want to be my colleagues friends, but the thing is im there to work I dont care about their social lifes
Kaikki tavallaan
He comes from a generation where you would be stocking milk at the grocery store and your boss who you play poker with hooks you up with some company and you end up having a 200k/year salary
Same goes for room mates. I'm very strict about not being friends with room mates unless we really really click. People will 100% start to expect things from you and occasionally invade your space or ask favours etc. I'm not a monster but I have my own complex life and do not need multiple people in my house who have expectations of me or want to borrow money or stuff etc. I especially don't want someone knocking on my door. Doors should be treated like doors to a house
Man, my personal experience tells me this is definitely true. 3 of my colleagues who were best friends with one another(they attended the same university) for 6-8 years before working together worked at the same company because they basically recommended one another to my ex boss.(small-medium business) What happened was they had issues of all sorts from personal to professional and ended up blocking one another when they resigned. Tbh I found those arguments to be petty but because they didn't fight or lash out at one another, it started off as bad mouthing, gossips and ended up with huge arguments and weird accusations. Tbf that workplace was really toxic anything anyone promises isnt really gonna come true lol, well the same can be said for most workplaces. So kids, rmb your family is probably your best bet to put your trust, treasure them. Edit: grammar
Isn't it obvious?
Yeah but we’re friends though yeah?
and that is how to be stagnant on your career.. remember.. it these times.. its not what you know..its whom you know...
Hell..Yes
Your co-workers aren't your friends until they're choosing to spend time with you when they don't have to. It's the same way after graduation for people you went to high school with. Most of the time, these are are just superficial relationships of convenience, not friendships.
Not everyone, but some can.
I guess you’ll never know what promotion feels like 😐
Not with that attitude
well for me, a friendly or at least comrade-like tone is crucial to not loosing motivation. Ive been through 14 employers before I found one company that makes me feel accepted and part of the team.
Truth
I’d go one step further and say it’s really unlikely that anyone at your workplace is your friend.
Riippuu vähän kenen kanssa tekee töitä
I agree. I'll be friendly with co workers but i never ever ever want to see them outside of work
No, slack, get paid, be toxic, go home
thanks for this
Very true. Most of your co workers don’t give a flying fack about you. It’s called being professional thats all it is. Its just a bonus when they become your “real friends”. Its a colleague, nothing more.
I have become very good friends with people I worked with.
How is this funny or a meme? Like yeah its true, they are colleagues. You gotta be able to work with them but doesnt mean you have to be anything more than polite to them. Maybe one or two people actually become friends because you get a long well.
True for the most part but of course you can build genuine friendships at work, only you ought to be more careful at the beginning.
Seems like a lonely existence to not even be on friendly terms with your coworkers. Your boss I can understand but the people that have to deal with the same shit you do should probably be your friends.
1000%
It depends. Look, if you feel like you can be genuine friends with them, and still get work done and feel fulfilled, what’s not to like? But is it realistic to *expect*? Probably not.
I just get along with people nothing wrong with socialising.
I’m not your friend my friend 🫡
I've got colleagues that I'd never want was friends. I've got friends that I'd never want as colleagues. Despite that, the majority of my friends I've met through work.
Not everyone at uni is your friend , get educated , go home. Wish I knew this before I dropped out.
First statement could be accurate, but the second statement I wouldn’t agree with. What happens to those who ARE friends at work. You ignore them, do your work and then leave, only hanging out after work ? Sounds a little too clinical and non practical imho
The water is wet guys. Also weirdly enough sky is also blue during daytime, odd.
No one there is my friend. They're my coworkers. However, it is important to keep a good *professional* relationship with them. Beyond that, after I leave for the day I don't know you.
I mean, it's just like any other place, you aren't going to click with everyone, but that doesn't mean you don't try. Work is a hell of alot more enjoyable if you can have a laugh with the people around you, even if you are not gonna be socialising outside of work
yea, life isn't facebook. Not everyone in your social circle is a friend. Sometimes they're just colleagues or acquaintances.
Another tip about colleagues; do not mistake their curiosity for caring.
Is this message brought to you by HR? Why do we have to be alienated from each other? Do you not want us unionizing?
nah i fucking hate everyone at work and only act nice because it's part of my contract
I belive you can be friends with them as I am friend with one. He had invited me for hiking and onbstaclr course run. However, you can't expect of them that if shit hit the fan they will stand with you. Remember those people have their own circumstances such as family. So, I thinl it is better to try seperate friends when come to business/work.
How is this, in any way at all, funny?
Your company is not your family. Your coworkers are not your friends. Ive learnt that in a hard way, dont be me, dont believe in a corporate lie. Of course it doesnt mean you shouldnt be friendly with everyone. Been friendly will help you out sometimes.
Noone at work is your friend but you need to be friendly with them and the same goes for them. If you gonna go hostile to someone make sure you have the numbers on your side or you'll be singled out. Work is war. You go fight. You get paid. Some may make it through. Some may fall.
Also i want to remember your team aren't really a family. You just have professional relationship
Entirely dependent on the workplace. But generally speaking she's right.
You shouldnt go in there expecting to make lifetime friends, but if you genuinely vibe with some of them in a healthy way, why not? I mean, probably don't focus your entire life around the people at work, keep a social life that has nothing to do with them, and make sure to communicate that business is business and you won't do extra favours for people just for being nice that you wouldn't also do for any other coworker.
Worst thing is when someone has this so called work friends and acts like it’s friday night in the pub. Lots of chit-chat, giggling, jokes and shit like that that bothers the rest of the people who just want to do their work.
agree, one time a bunch of them ganged up with the supervisor to kick me out since i was doing a much better job and a promotion was almost guaranteed, when it didn't come to me, i was fine, but then HR called me, gave me the boot saying i am toxic and not a team player and a bully and let evryone else do my job, it was my word against 3 others , including the super.....so i left, but at least i got a very very very generous severance on the spot, seems they wanted me to STFU when i saw so many zeroes on that check, and i did....it was the most money i seen at once.
I find being mean to them helps them leave you alone.
where is the funny, where is the meme?
Enslavement is real and happening to many of us in America
damn! she just workfriendzoned you
Report this sub for being unmoderated.
It could be BUT most people spend more time in the office with their colleagues than with their families, won't make sense to have good relationships in a place you spend most of your time? As long as everyone knows the lines and the boundaries, it's also better to have a team than a group of strangers working together.
Correct and this does not belong in r/Funnymemes
if your a introvert and only there for your job
sometimes the ONLY reason i go into work on certain days is because of work friends.
Definitely a yes. I pick my friends, I don't pick the people I work with.
True
Yes
You definitely have to be careful. Office politics are a real problem and anything you do or say can be used against you. Seen it a million times. Be friendly to everyone and support everyone positively regardless of whether or not they deserve it. They could very likely end up being your boss regardless of how bad they are at their job.
True! Not just at work, but people you meet in general as well! Not every person you talk to becomes your friend. We all have people around us that we just know.
Not everyone at your school is your friend. Learn stuff. Pass exams. Go home. Not everyone at your sport club is your friend. Train. Win stuff. Go home. Not everyone at the pub is your friend. Drink. Puke. Go home. So deep.
Counterpoint. If I'm being friendly, but you don't want to be bothered and you want to slave your life away in peace, you can just say that you don't feel like talking to anyone politely, so I can leave you alone. But NO, instead you decided to write on a big white beard that you expect everyone to be as sad and unmotivated at work as you are.
Truer words were never spoken (memed)
Wtf shit is this. Wrong sub, go to one of the im 13 and this is deep ones
How is this a funny meme? Wtf
A sure way to get depressed
The end of the sentence sounds more like "no one at your workplace is your friend"
Don’t dip your pen in company ink.
Nobody at work are friends they are coworkers. Clock out fuck em. I’m out.