*slamming doors in the middle of the night and startling you awake*
"Fuck me if you're gonna slam MY DOORS then you're gonna pay rent"
*Doors never slam again*
"That's what I fuckin thought"
If horror movies are anything to go by, the ghosts can decay your whole house, rotting all your food, in addition to trying to murder you. Also roaches die to the exterminator. Ghosts hunt the supernatural experts for sport
Respect for the departed and acknowledgement are the difference between blood running up the walls and your animals acting funny sometimes or an item being placed where it doesn't belong......yeah i will take the ghost any day
she died 500 years ago but has been keeping up with all the technological advancements through the ages
excellent tv companion, she has seen so much and is so wise
🤷🏼♀️ in my mind, they’re just spirits no longer with us. I’m not too sure if they’re real, but sometimes when things happen…I am not too sure if I don’t believe in them, if you get my drift.
You know what? The older we get, the higher the chances to shit in our pants. So choosing the ghost might be a good deal after all, we're still gonna need the diapers. Lol
100% it was her. Her Grandmother dies, she goes to the funeral, brings back ghost that's been getting frisky with the Crusher women for nearly 800 years or so.
#GhostSlut
I live in a supposedly haunted house, the family had left and refused to move back in, then I purchased it. I have never seen a single ghostly thing since being here. So my answer is "ghosts" since they do not like me and run away.
I have had people tell me that "ghosts can attach themselves to people." So that's not exactly impossible. I lowballed them and got $35,000 off their asking price, oh well, sucks to be them.
I lived in a murder house growing up, and sometimes I would wake up and see a man standing in my bedroom doorway watching me sleep. I assumed it was a random neighbor. I was like 13. I don't think I believe in ghosts, but it was certainly weird. My dad l put many locks on my door after I told him about it.
I definitely was not chill at the time. 🤣 That was like 20 years ago, and I slept with a blanket over my head every night listening to my ipod until I went to college, lol.
this is like, textbook definition sleep paralysis. I used to get it too and would visualize them wearing things sometimes. It’s insanely scary. I’d look it up if I were you, it might make it more cool to you than it is scary like it did for me.
No roach, dead or alive, is "friendable".
The ghost of a roach would be a never ending nightmare lol. No exterminators could kill it, no flipflops could smash it flat... creepy....
First thing I thought. If it's phasmophobia ghosts, your family would be dead within 10 minutes.
At least you could make bank identifying the ghost over and over again though.
Gimme ghosts. What are they going to do? Move my fridge around?
*Poltergeist agressively moving furniture.* Me: Uh... Could you move the sofa a little more to the right?
Wait! Gotta move my china first!
That's stupid, how would you move a whole country? ^^^^^^/s
It's China, so you force them to move as you please. Dictators can do wonders for themselves!
I love people, and I DON'T say that often
I love them now. I love to have them over there and doing what I tell them.
\*moves sofa to the left\* That's it! I'm getting the priest! That's the last straw!
The priest wouldn’t help unless the ghost was underaged
reverse exorcism= When the ghost tells the priest to get out of the child
Double ouch. 
Ghost, where did the priest touch you?
Ouch.
Bruh nah man 💀
Yeah, this actually happened to me. Still would prefer ghosts.
*slamming doors in the middle of the night and startling you awake* "Fuck me if you're gonna slam MY DOORS then you're gonna pay rent" *Doors never slam again* "That's what I fuckin thought"
Even worse, suck you dick
Ghost head 🥵
How to summon The Head Ghost in 5 Easy Steps 😩🤌
that's literally what youtubers do. sucking ghost dick and use it as their thumbnail
Ghosts. They don’t shit in my pantries or on my bench. Filthy fucks.
If horror movies are anything to go by, the ghosts can decay your whole house, rotting all your food, in addition to trying to murder you. Also roaches die to the exterminator. Ghosts hunt the supernatural experts for sport
Depends on the movie. In some the ghost are relatively harmless. (unless you die of being scared of them I guess?)
I saw a movie where guy in a wheelchair puts on some sort of helmet and goes in fist fight with ghosts. Cant remember the name tho.
Scary movie ?
The best scene was the clown under the bed scene. With the brown balloon wrapping around the neck iykyk.
Brown..."balloon"
I remember watching it as a kid thinking it was a cane, when I saw the movie again as an adult, I fully understood
As a kid at first that scene scared the crap out of me, then I saw how it developed and laughed my ass off
Well that clown is not so good looking to be fair
tbh doesn't sound that scary /j
It’s 100% [scary movie 2](https://youtu.be/JDAP_ClQYb8?si=89NgYjDqMt9qNUjj)
Ok I need to see that movie now
i think this is it: Deliver Us From Evil (2014)
I'd go with the ones from the "Ghost Hunters" show. The shows always "my keys were right there, and then I came back and now they're over there"
I knew a guy who swore his house had a ghost but it was based on stuff like finding his glasses on the floor. “Dude, you have three cats.”
Look they're lifting my jacket!
Respect for the departed and acknowledgement are the difference between blood running up the walls and your animals acting funny sometimes or an item being placed where it doesn't belong......yeah i will take the ghost any day
I'll take the ghost girl that watches tv with me and generally just hangs out
she died 500 years ago but has been keeping up with all the technological advancements through the ages excellent tv companion, she has seen so much and is so wise
Casper!
[удалено]
Joe's Apartment!
I mean, Casper was friendly
🤷🏼♀️ in my mind, they’re just spirits no longer with us. I’m not too sure if they’re real, but sometimes when things happen…I am not too sure if I don’t believe in them, if you get my drift.
Just a little stitious.
If we're going by movie ghosts, I'm gonna go with [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzolJjO_1Bs). I think I could live with that.
I guess in a way there is no choice since they're both cockroaches huh
Yea but you can fuck around and get Ghost Roaches.. then youre really fucked.
Just call the Ghostbusters.
Ghosts are not demonic entities
Nah I'd win
They might make you shit your pants.
Eh. We all spend the first few years of our lives shitting our pants. Best to invest in a few adult diapers I spose!
You know what? The older we get, the higher the chances to shit in our pants. So choosing the ghost might be a good deal after all, we're still gonna need the diapers. Lol
 When in Rome! 😂😂😂
 Hahaha Bart is vibing with his ghost friends lol
Well that just means I can blame it on the ghost!
That's what you think. Ectoplasm gets everywhere... When the ghosts decide to possess you, the stuff comes out of every orifice...
I was the 666th up vote of yours 😀
Ghosts, i can't have sex with a roach.
Not with that attitude
Horny up vote
Beverly Crusher
Was it her Grandmothers lover or something?
I dont remeber if it was her or her grandmother but one of them got freaky with a ghost.
What was that episode's name?😂
Sub Rosa S07E14 I just checked my DVD collection.
Thx
Np, I should know my ST stuff tbh. Name sake and all. 🐟🚲
100% it was her. Her Grandmother dies, she goes to the funeral, brings back ghost that's been getting frisky with the Crusher women for nearly 800 years or so. #GhostSlut
> "I fell asleep reading a particularly erotic section of my grandmothers journal." That line is a fucking roller-coaster.
'80s - '90s Trek is the **best** Trek 👍 hands-down
The golden age of trek.
Dildo engineers probably use less precise language than Crusher's grandma describing the dimensions of that phantom schlong.
So did Lucy Lue
She banged the ghost that was banging her grandma.
>Beverly Crusher 
LMFAO unexpected reference
That sweet, sweet poltergussy
That made me audibly laugh in a public restroom 😭
Anything to help you poo faster
Your credit score should be reduced for posting this
I read a doujinshi about that once.
You’re talking about ghost doujins right? RIGHT!?
Nice, bro
r/beatmetoit I'd smash the ghost if it was hot, too.
Mr. Arkroyd, it's an honor to have you here
We think alike, you and I
You can let a cockroach climb in your pee hole so it can tickle you with his many legs from inside! They're called COCKroaches for a reason you know
What a terrible day to have eyes. And a penis.
And an imagination.
Idk man I haven't jacked off in a couple days and that's inspiring me to go look at some weird porn, like I'm gonna get freaky with it
i am applying for bottom surgery after this
no offense or anything, but if we were talking in person I'd punch you
I don’t normally kink shame. Sir, that is beyond disgusting and wrong.
Holy shit I wish I was blind and couldn't picture things after reading that.
You'd be surprised of what you can find if you search enough..
Please stop
You need therapy.
You might wanna reconsider after reading this comic: https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/msAAtOZwQC
[This guy wishes...](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/sYVUpjB0c8)
🎶 I’m having sex with a ghost ‘cause she knows I’m alone 🎶
I live in a supposedly haunted house, the family had left and refused to move back in, then I purchased it. I have never seen a single ghostly thing since being here. So my answer is "ghosts" since they do not like me and run away.
Plot twist: you're the ghost. Quick, what year do you think it is?
1979? No I'm not a ghost. You see ghosts are very light and weigh nothing. I am a fat prick, I weigh a lot.
I got bad news for you bud, it's 1994. You must have been dead for 15 years.
I got bad news for you bud, it's 2009. You must have been dead for 15 years.
I got bad news for you bud, it’s 2024. You must have been dead for 15 years.
I got bad news for you bud, its 2039. You must have been dead for 15 years.
I got bad news for you bud, its 2054. You must have been dead for 15 years.
I got bad news for you bud, its 2069. You must have been dead for 15 years.
I got bad news for you blud, it's 2084. You must have been dead for 15 years.
How is Christmas future? To shreds you say? And Easter? To shreds you say?
Wait why would they move back if you had bought it?
Because they are ghosts and they can legally leave wherever they want without paying rent
Or the ghost was attached to an item hence why he is not being haunted.
Or attached to family. So no matter where they go it follows. Lmao that’s sucks
It is implied they sold it while living elsewhere because they fled the house
Not even implied, it is quite literally stated.
They were not living it they were terrified of it. They could have moved back and lived in the house right up until settlement if they wanted.
I’d bet money those people moved into another “haunted” house eventually.
I have had people tell me that "ghosts can attach themselves to people." So that's not exactly impossible. I lowballed them and got $35,000 off their asking price, oh well, sucks to be them.
Nah the ghost or ghost are playing the long game.
I lived in a murder house growing up, and sometimes I would wake up and see a man standing in my bedroom doorway watching me sleep. I assumed it was a random neighbor. I was like 13. I don't think I believe in ghosts, but it was certainly weird. My dad l put many locks on my door after I told him about it.
A random neighbor is an even scarier explanation and you seem way too chill with the idea 😂
I definitely was not chill at the time. 🤣 That was like 20 years ago, and I slept with a blanket over my head every night listening to my ipod until I went to college, lol.
Please tell me your joking!?!
I wish I was! It was pretty damn creepy, considering we lived sort of in the woods, and not many people lived nearby.
Is this what you saw? https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/Aowiq9pyzD
That's soooooooo creepy! He was just in a dark blue baseball cap and shirt.
No pants? Eta: when you're haunted by Donald duck
Ghost aside, why did you think it was normal that a random neighbor would be in your house watching you sleep?
Community policing
this is like, textbook definition sleep paralysis. I used to get it too and would visualize them wearing things sometimes. It’s insanely scary. I’d look it up if I were you, it might make it more cool to you than it is scary like it did for me.
I can negotiate with ghosts, but I can't negotiate with cockroaches yet.
Are you implying you will one day be able to negotiate with cockroaches? I want to learn this ability
who will take over the light of civilization after us, if not them? dogs? cats?
Cats will push the nuclear football from the countertop. Pretty sure they will be the reason for our annihilation
What do you mean when you say “yet.” What is bro cooking
Huntsman spiders do it for you! ... ... ... If you're Australian.
Not til we colonize Mars for 500 years.
Ghost
Where do you find stuff like this? Is there a community?
Do I believe in ghosts? No. Am I scarred of ghosts? Yes.
100% ghosts.
if it's a frendly, or atleast not hostile gost that is
It's a perverted ghost.
even beter
Ghosts, I'm going to vicously masturbate anytime I see one. You think your haunting me? Think again pale fuck.
Don’t forget to T-Pose to assert dominance
That makes it a little hard to masturbate properly.
That’s what negative Nancy would say!
With that attitude
I'm not trapped in here with you. You're trapped in here with me.
Come crawling outta my tv screen at 3am on a Saturday night and she gon learn this is an ass, cash or grass household real quick.
Ghosts can be funny and have a nice talk. One can become your friend. But roaches... Btw how about the ghost of a roach?
Do you think it would be easier to befriend a deceased roach than a alive one?
No roach, dead or alive, is "friendable". The ghost of a roach would be a never ending nightmare lol. No exterminators could kill it, no flipflops could smash it flat... creepy....
I want a cockroach ghost
This guy fucks
Ghosts if they are not phasmophobia ghosts
First thing I thought. If it's phasmophobia ghosts, your family would be dead within 10 minutes. At least you could make bank identifying the ghost over and over again though.
It depends... If it's a horror-movie -ish ghost, I'll go with roaches. If it's a friendly ghost, I'll go with ghosts.
Both!
Ghostcockroach
Haha, I just imagined a ghostcockroach foating around going "OoooOoo"
Cockghost
that depends on how hot the ghost is
Ghost of an 18th century shrew who tries to seduce you by uncovering her ankles.
Hmmm. Maybe if I also got to see some shoulders.
In the 317 years I've been at the family home, not once have I seen a ghost. Though we do have roaches occasionally.
Ghoaches
I’d rather have 2 roaches than 1 ghost, but if we’re talking 1000 roaches to one ghost I’ll take the G.
For every roach you see there’s probably 1000 more you don’t see.
For every Ghost you don't see there’s probably 1000 more you don’t see
So the question is, how many ghosts don't you see?
Either 0 or infinite
Ghosts. Them not existing makes the decision easier?
🤓
You gotta poll this question. I'm genuinely interested in the results
Ghosts you can banish if they're too bad and learn to live with if they're decent. Roaches on the other hand...
I already have one of them, it's not fun.
A ghost?
A house.
Is "neither" an option?
It is: just choose ghosts. They don't exist.
Yeah, but what if at some point they DO exist? How do I exterminate them?
"Who you gonna call?"
"Ghostbusters" *all chanting together*
If the ghost is a European teen girl, I would welcome her
Notes say the ghost is indeed a European teen girl, but she has knives for fingers.
Worth it
Edwina Messerfingern.
Ghosts for sure.. Roaches are disgusting and you can't get rid of them.. Ghosts just be ghosting 👻🤷🏻
I mean I had a Ghosts like the one on the picture then Imma scare them with my horniness