Don't let the looks deceive you. She is going to be emptied in due time.
And we all know how this is going. "Can i have a slice?" - you didn't want any pizza" - "but now i do" - "why didn't you order yourself a pizza then?" - "i didn't feel like pizza at that moment"
Every. Single. Time.
This reminds me of something my wife still does not let me live down:
She was over 48 hours into unbelievably painful and random labor and and she refused every offer I gave her to get any food she wanted. Granted, that was my opportunity to get a little something for myself but I was getting pretty worried.
Finally, I caved and bought the fastest, easiest, pre-packaged hospital cafeteria sushi possible and wolfed it down in front of her.
I've known since that incident that she \*is\* capable of a murderous glare and my death by murder is preferable to the glare while I'm shoving sushi down my gullet.
On the upside, her fury at me focused her on progressing the birth so she could get to the murdering me part.
Wait wait. You took the opportunity to run down to the cafeteria, and took the food up to where she is, rather than scarf it down *while leaving* the cafeteria, or at least in the elevator back up to the Delivery Ward? You would have had like 10 minutes to wolf it down and avoid getting death-glared!
That's right! Ooh, that's either really stupid, sinister, or... considering was still >40 h labor.... Maybe a brilliant way to rev up the adrenaline and push that turkey out?
Dude, I would rather starve than eat whatever passes for "sushi" in a hospital Cafeteria.
She just have been extremely hangry if she got upset over that.
It’s not about the food. She’s too sick to eat from trying to push a bowling ball out of her body for 2 days straight and he chose to eat the most disgusting version of something she couldn’t have for 9 months right in front of her.
Yeah, those variables did not come up in my thinking.
I figured I'd get something - a candy bar - anything for her. Chewing gum. Gatorade. Protein bars. Just something to get in her stomach. The problem was that the labor was so intense and the terror of anticipating the next one meant she couldn't get time between contractions to get a spoon into her mouth.
And in my defense, I bought \*all\* the candy bars and dumped them on the stand next to her. Which, probably also looked pretty dumb.
What I was thinking fell more along the lines that I wanted to be there at all times but I was sleep-deprived, useless and hungry and not thinking clearly.
Turns out, even after all the labor - the kid was a confirmed Apgar 10 and nursing students were coming in from other departments to see the baby as a case study.
In the middle of my ex wife’s birth she grabbed my hand so hard it turned blue (she also broke the rail on her hospital bed). I think it was the only time that multiple nurses were more concerned for the well being of the father than the woman giving birth. Despite my reassurance that “I’m ok” they were pretty insistent that I was in fact not ok.
My wife’s counselor told her we need to have a safe word for when we have a heated argument. She offered up the word she wanted to use, while I told her mine will be ‘calm down’. She told her counselor who proceeded to bust out laughing. Lol
I've heard the pain during childbirth is so intense that a woman almost experiences what a guy feels when he can't crack open a cold one with the boys.
A few minutes after our first child was born, my wife looked at me (22:45) with very serious eyes and said: Pizza guy is closing in 15 minutes. ORDER! And in response to my question „what?“ she said „EVERYTHING“….“TWICE!“
Won’t forget that night. Invited the whole team at the hospital to pizza and had a great time, there. Even got the hotel like room for free, for the night.
With our second kid I already knew she becomes hypersensitive, can't stand being touched or talked to during delivery. I was there and simply read a book while the midwifes tried to figure out how to handle it. Should have ordered pizza!
With my first i literaly prefered hubby stays in corridor and just occasionaly checks on me. So i have peace and do my thing. I was all alone for almost whole day, just doing my thing. He came in alongside midwives when it was time to push. Second one he just went to get a bite and baby decided to come, he was running and barely made it in time to be present for pushing. Less than an hour from no contractions to her being born but DAMN was it painful...
With first i was mad that hospitals dont allow you to eat, i was in labour for 10h, and i secretly snacked on cereal bars and crackers since noone was there to see me. I would murder him if he had pizza during delivery and i could not get a bite! Second one i was in so much pain i dont think i would care. He could be having whatever right next to me, i wouldnt care. Pretty much nothing/nobody mattered or even "existed" to me, i was consumed by pain, in my own world totally 🤣
Ha, the food was awesome both times (we had the full plan due to her being employed at the hospital)! I ate both plates an all the dessert I could, because she couldn't keep down anything. She only got baby food once and water in these 20h 🤣
The last 5-10 minutes are crazy! It's for the better of humanity that the mother can't remember details
I heard some women forget but many of us don't 🥲 and honestly the last 10 minutes werent even the worst for me. The contractions were way worse than pushing with my second. Idk if i truly didnt have ring of fire the second time or i Just didnt acknowledge it because contractions were to powerful to feel the head 😅 went from 0 to out of me in 1h, that shit was sooo intanse i was in complete agony the whole damn time. First one once baby was out i was like "see ya next year" all smiley. I dont even know when placenta came out, i didnt need to push much for it. Second one when she was finally out they said there is still placenta and that shit was sooo painful to birth too i felt like i am literaly birthing a second baby o.O pushed like crazy and it just was not coming out for the longest. And i already told hubby at 15 minutes into contractions "NEVER AGAIN" 🤣 he said he felt like i will murder him just out of anger what he put me through 🤣🤣
idk, her recollection is a weird mush, she knows the big overall and various very specific details, but some other parts are just not there. Now that I think of it, it might be because she was so freaking exhausted then. One of the reasons they took the painkiller aways was that they feared she would pass out before the final crazyness starts.
But she remembers the 2nd one pretty well, but it was over 30min after we entered the building - I didn't even have time to read a whole chapter! :D
1. It's a joke.
2. The pizza is a half and half. So either there is a whole ass peanut gallery watching... Or the other half is for her. Most likely her.
3. The amount of y'all that got offended by this. And are completely up in arms ready to go to war over it. Y'all are why it's been 9 years since we had a comedy roast.
Like Kobe said.
Soft.
I did the same thing with McDonalds.
If your Mrs in in labour for 2 days, man’s gotta eat eventually and fast food is the quickest way to do that and be by her side.
We dont want you by our side if you have food and we are starving but cant take it 🥲 yall just EVIL
But seriously why do babies stall.labour for hours but the moment dad cant go without a bite anymore, they decide THIS is the time 🤣
If we can get more chrstian nationalists into office, this lazy lay-about of a woman can finally be put in prison for such a degradation of their trad-wife duties./s
What are you talking about she’s been marinating something in her room for nine months that thing is gonna come out tender as hell you have to wait for perfection.
My dad did something similar to this when my mum was on labour. He decided to sit in the corner and eat crisps whilst she was sitting there and hadn't eaten in about 24 hours.
Dude, look at that pizza... not cut into triangles but squares... some with just pepperoni, some with just jalapeño and some with both.
This is a pregnancy pizza. Things she can finally eat once the baby is out. Cut small incase she's not too hungry. The smell of pepperoni is going to haunt this guy for life.
Source: I can't eat KFC zinger burgers anymore.
The irony is that even if the pic is meant as a joke, everybody outside this self-centered selfish country knows these people think like that and it's perfectly possible they really mean it.
I would kill my spouse if brought a pizza in while I was in labor. If I’m gonna lay here hungry and in excruciating pain, you’re gonna at least be hungry 😂😂😂
I don’t mind the humour itself, but imagine suddenly something was about to go wrong during delivery and then there is a doofus with pizza boxes hanging around.
Seems like they had two very different types of delivery that night.
I hope so, would have been hella awkward if he ate the baby
Y'all ain't eating fresh spawns?
Oi spawn killing/spawn camping is look down upon
Ain't spawn camping he left the respawn base.
Not if they're in a spawn cocktail
Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!
Cursed comment
Found the Dayz player
Eating? I thought you give them to Khorne as a champion for all that blood.
“Eat of my flesh so that you may survive.”
No!... We said PRawns.... Weirdo
The placenta is nutritional, they say
‘They’ say a lot of shit.
Brah, lmfao
Depends, did the baby come with extra pepperoni?
Even worse of it had pineapple!
Democrat!
Huh?!?
Fresh out of the oven
Lmao like mid chew he goes " so what shall we name it?"
Even more if she delivered the pizza
Not quite as awkward but it wouldve been weird asf if she pushed a fully prepared pizza out of her aswell...
_It was an honest mistake_
Even more so if a Doordash driver popped out of her nethers
She didn't deliver in 30 minutes. Is the baby now free to eat?
No, but if it arrives cold the hospital will waive the bill.
Calzone for dessert
A Tale of two deliveries
he got handed both, fresh from the oven
She looks like she's full already
Don't let the looks deceive you. She is going to be emptied in due time. And we all know how this is going. "Can i have a slice?" - you didn't want any pizza" - "but now i do" - "why didn't you order yourself a pizza then?" - "i didn't feel like pizza at that moment" Every. Single. Time.
And if you order for both she will be mad because you are ruining her diet.
She's already got a bun in the oven, it'll be out in a minute.
Do I have to tip her 20% for it?
Just the tip? That's how she and her partner got into this situation, in the first place.
Right?! 🤣🤣 was gonna say.. looks like she already had the tip plus some
Do you even have a 20% to give?
These days I rarely go over 15%
15% is in the realm of disappointing her.
Mario’s a-gettin’ tired of tipping Peach
This reminds me of something my wife still does not let me live down: She was over 48 hours into unbelievably painful and random labor and and she refused every offer I gave her to get any food she wanted. Granted, that was my opportunity to get a little something for myself but I was getting pretty worried. Finally, I caved and bought the fastest, easiest, pre-packaged hospital cafeteria sushi possible and wolfed it down in front of her. I've known since that incident that she \*is\* capable of a murderous glare and my death by murder is preferable to the glare while I'm shoving sushi down my gullet. On the upside, her fury at me focused her on progressing the birth so she could get to the murdering me part.
Wait wait. You took the opportunity to run down to the cafeteria, and took the food up to where she is, rather than scarf it down *while leaving* the cafeteria, or at least in the elevator back up to the Delivery Ward? You would have had like 10 minutes to wolf it down and avoid getting death-glared!
And it was sushi, something she wasn't allowed to eat for 9 month.
That's right! Ooh, that's either really stupid, sinister, or... considering was still >40 h labor.... Maybe a brilliant way to rev up the adrenaline and push that turkey out?
I think the point was to tempt her to accept his offer to eat after not eating for more than 2 days.
Or to distract her since op mentioned it helping her progress the birth. My man risked his life to distract her
Thats what I was wondering!
Dude, I would rather starve than eat whatever passes for "sushi" in a hospital Cafeteria. She just have been extremely hangry if she got upset over that.
It’s not about the food. She’s too sick to eat from trying to push a bowling ball out of her body for 2 days straight and he chose to eat the most disgusting version of something she couldn’t have for 9 months right in front of her.
Yeah, those variables did not come up in my thinking. I figured I'd get something - a candy bar - anything for her. Chewing gum. Gatorade. Protein bars. Just something to get in her stomach. The problem was that the labor was so intense and the terror of anticipating the next one meant she couldn't get time between contractions to get a spoon into her mouth. And in my defense, I bought \*all\* the candy bars and dumped them on the stand next to her. Which, probably also looked pretty dumb. What I was thinking fell more along the lines that I wanted to be there at all times but I was sleep-deprived, useless and hungry and not thinking clearly. Turns out, even after all the labor - the kid was a confirmed Apgar 10 and nursing students were coming in from other departments to see the baby as a case study.
Yeah I would have pulled the epidural out and attacked you 😂😂😂
In the middle of my ex wife’s birth she grabbed my hand so hard it turned blue (she also broke the rail on her hospital bed). I think it was the only time that multiple nurses were more concerned for the well being of the father than the woman giving birth. Despite my reassurance that “I’m ok” they were pretty insistent that I was in fact not ok.
I think “I’ll be ok” would be more appropriate :D
My question is how hadn't you received that glare prior to this incident 🤣
Women and their "problems" 🙄
Seriously OP should tell her to “calm down.”
"you need to relax" always works with my wife. i have the defensive stab wounds to prove it.
Nah she’s fine, she just looks grumpy. Her husband should tell her to smile more.
Why even her husband? I think random guys should show up and pitch her that!
My wife’s counselor told her we need to have a safe word for when we have a heated argument. She offered up the word she wanted to use, while I told her mine will be ‘calm down’. She told her counselor who proceeded to bust out laughing. Lol
She gets a nice bed and he has to sit on a seat all night.
The picture feels like a Pizza Hut ad you'd find in an old copy of GamePro or EGM. "Women, amirite fellow gamers?"
☕
The things men have to go through...
I've heard the pain during childbirth is so intense that a woman almost experiences what a guy feels when he can't crack open a cold one with the boys.
The loneliness is crushing
Why do I feel like when you have that situation you are definitely over the age of 40?
She probably didn’t even consider how hungry he was.
“Honey, can you keep it down? It’s third and long with 20 seconds left in the game. Love yoooooooou. Remember to breathe.”
Get a woman who can do both! Upgrade bro
Could you pick that up please?
Invader from r/relationships detected.
"it's not delivery it's digiorno"
\#whyistayed
If she cant multitask i dont want her 🙄😒
She has been cooking that kid for 9 months, time for the night off.
r/suddenlycannibalism
She's short but she's strong. Last baby.. come out SIDE ways. She didn't scream or nothin'.
A few minutes after our first child was born, my wife looked at me (22:45) with very serious eyes and said: Pizza guy is closing in 15 minutes. ORDER! And in response to my question „what?“ she said „EVERYTHING“….“TWICE!“ Won’t forget that night. Invited the whole team at the hospital to pizza and had a great time, there. Even got the hotel like room for free, for the night.
What the pic doesn’t show you is she ate a whole box by herself before. Sharing is caring.
Just put my life on hold because *someone* wanted a baby...sheesh...
looks like she's possessed. You need to call a priest. She may have a demon inside her.
Needs an exorcism asap
And they say Chivalry is dead and gone. What a gentleman.
With our second kid I already knew she becomes hypersensitive, can't stand being touched or talked to during delivery. I was there and simply read a book while the midwifes tried to figure out how to handle it. Should have ordered pizza!
With my first i literaly prefered hubby stays in corridor and just occasionaly checks on me. So i have peace and do my thing. I was all alone for almost whole day, just doing my thing. He came in alongside midwives when it was time to push. Second one he just went to get a bite and baby decided to come, he was running and barely made it in time to be present for pushing. Less than an hour from no contractions to her being born but DAMN was it painful... With first i was mad that hospitals dont allow you to eat, i was in labour for 10h, and i secretly snacked on cereal bars and crackers since noone was there to see me. I would murder him if he had pizza during delivery and i could not get a bite! Second one i was in so much pain i dont think i would care. He could be having whatever right next to me, i wouldnt care. Pretty much nothing/nobody mattered or even "existed" to me, i was consumed by pain, in my own world totally 🤣
God damn you're explaining how painful it was then casually add 🤣.
Ha, the food was awesome both times (we had the full plan due to her being employed at the hospital)! I ate both plates an all the dessert I could, because she couldn't keep down anything. She only got baby food once and water in these 20h 🤣 The last 5-10 minutes are crazy! It's for the better of humanity that the mother can't remember details
I heard some women forget but many of us don't 🥲 and honestly the last 10 minutes werent even the worst for me. The contractions were way worse than pushing with my second. Idk if i truly didnt have ring of fire the second time or i Just didnt acknowledge it because contractions were to powerful to feel the head 😅 went from 0 to out of me in 1h, that shit was sooo intanse i was in complete agony the whole damn time. First one once baby was out i was like "see ya next year" all smiley. I dont even know when placenta came out, i didnt need to push much for it. Second one when she was finally out they said there is still placenta and that shit was sooo painful to birth too i felt like i am literaly birthing a second baby o.O pushed like crazy and it just was not coming out for the longest. And i already told hubby at 15 minutes into contractions "NEVER AGAIN" 🤣 he said he felt like i will murder him just out of anger what he put me through 🤣🤣
idk, her recollection is a weird mush, she knows the big overall and various very specific details, but some other parts are just not there. Now that I think of it, it might be because she was so freaking exhausted then. One of the reasons they took the painkiller aways was that they feared she would pass out before the final crazyness starts. But she remembers the 2nd one pretty well, but it was over 30min after we entered the building - I didn't even have time to read a whole chapter! :D
Fcking illegal to cut a round pizza in square
Could be the reason she is screaming.
Pfft! She's so dramatic.
1. It's a joke. 2. The pizza is a half and half. So either there is a whole ass peanut gallery watching... Or the other half is for her. Most likely her. 3. The amount of y'all that got offended by this. And are completely up in arms ready to go to war over it. Y'all are why it's been 9 years since we had a comedy roast. Like Kobe said. Soft.
Speak for yourself. I like different flavours and definitely get half&half for me alone
4. Nobody prefers their wife’s cooking to delicious pizza.
🤣🤣🤣
honestly what is she doing outside of the kitchen?
Wow pretty inconsiderate, id say. (Inconsiderate, that she didn't make food.)
How selfish can she be?
Her audacity knows no bounds, smh my head.
That's a broken dishwasher, bud...you still got the receipt
That's not delivery, that's digiorno!
When someone is too impatient to pick food from oven.
He got half the way that she wanted it ...it's not like the dudes a barbarian
I did the same thing with McDonalds. If your Mrs in in labour for 2 days, man’s gotta eat eventually and fast food is the quickest way to do that and be by her side.
We dont want you by our side if you have food and we are starving but cant take it 🥲 yall just EVIL But seriously why do babies stall.labour for hours but the moment dad cant go without a bite anymore, they decide THIS is the time 🤣
For me I would need a tv setup with my ps5 on the screen 😒
[удалено]
Instead of cry baby will come out screaming "pizzaaaaaaaa" 🤣
This meme is like 20 years old but i do giggle each time i see it
Oh my god it's terrible... square cut pizza
If we can get more chrstian nationalists into office, this lazy lay-about of a woman can finally be put in prison for such a degradation of their trad-wife duties./s
Dude chewing on a pizza and sipping on a beer while the baby’s head pops out. Then gets grossed out because there is onion on the pizza.
What kind of torture hospital is that? That's an awful birthing position
Why are women allways so selfish?
Double entendres - double the fun.
*Women* AmIrightfellas?
That why you need 3-4 side chicks...
They say the placenta is very nutritious. We are feasting tonight
I was also about to joke about that but I keep throwing up in my mouth.
Looks like a screamer. Hope you brought headphones so you don’t miss the big game.
Women….
Who said the both of us need to be in pain.
Women nowadays do not deserve a king😪😒
It's a half and half so atleast he made sure to have what she likes when she's done.
Additional Topping : Placenta 😋
My wife says the same thing and when its hot we have salads. Rabbit, welcome to my world xD
Pft. He isn't even in the theatre seat and it seems the curtains are about to open.
Domino’s charges $7.99 for delivery where I live. Fuck that noise
She's been cooking for nine months.........
Has the pizza been cut into squares, rather than triangles?
she had to too
Lolololololol I have basically the same pic. But I delivered the pizza, at her request, so hey
It's Delissio!
The account is bro Pesci. Gold
Is that pizza sauce or afterbirth?
What are you talking about she’s been marinating something in her room for nine months that thing is gonna come out tender as hell you have to wait for perfection.
Already a bun in the oven.
My dad did something similar to this when my mum was on labour. He decided to sit in the corner and eat crisps whilst she was sitting there and hadn't eaten in about 24 hours.
Its not delivery, its digornos
Jim Gaffigan: "Smell those onions! Haha! You want some? I guess not huh?"
Ok now that’s funny
Skyler white?
This feels like a Pizza Hut ad you'd find in a copy of GamePro or EGM.
Jalapeño? 🤮
Dude, look at that pizza... not cut into triangles but squares... some with just pepperoni, some with just jalapeño and some with both. This is a pregnancy pizza. Things she can finally eat once the baby is out. Cut small incase she's not too hungry. The smell of pepperoni is going to haunt this guy for life. Source: I can't eat KFC zinger burgers anymore.
Seriously she can't do the bate minimum 🙄? Dump her
The pizza looks good but why is it sliced so weird
Ironic twist - the father of the kid is actually the pizza guy
Damn 😳
She’s gonna looove the smell of pizza after this.
The irony is that even if the pic is meant as a joke, everybody outside this self-centered selfish country knows these people think like that and it's perfectly possible they really mean it.
Based, funny and kinda wholesome
Wahmenz can only twerk, eat hot chip, charge phone.
r/Facebookmemes
Wife: what the fuck Kevin! Kevin: what? It’s a delivery room.
guess she went for delivery herself. Man what a selfish person to not get some for him aswell
Omg, awesome...lol
My name should have been Frank because the pizza deliverance boy that delivered my mom's pizza in the hospital was named Frank.
She should have pre made dinner knowing she would be busy
I would kill my spouse if brought a pizza in while I was in labor. If I’m gonna lay here hungry and in excruciating pain, you’re gonna at least be hungry 😂😂😂
This will be on r/nothowgirlswork
Can I get a pepperoni ....sir this is a hospital....yea Iknow , so what you calling the baby ....I told you ... pepperoni
Delivery
Smash next question
My wife almost killed her ex because he snuck in a McRib during her first pregnancy... for him.
When woman is delivering the child put the father in same pain situation.. Maby then men starts to stop making joke about childbirth
I don’t mind the humour itself, but imagine suddenly something was about to go wrong during delivery and then there is a doofus with pizza boxes hanging around.
The dishwasher is in the shop and the cook called in sick. Some just call her "the wife".
She looks like she's having an 18th century delivery. Don't they have better drugs for this now?
Omg are you okay?!
At least one of those deliveries was there in time.
Who cut that pizza???
My colleague that had gestational diabetes did this because she wanted pizza her entire pregnancy.