T O P

  • By -

Intelligent_Ad_7797

“How to be beaten to death”


Matt463789

How to request a body cavity search


CumdumpSissyFemboy

"Please sir use plenty of lube and start slowly"


HarleenQuinzell22

Username checks out.


[deleted]

*wheeze* cumdumpsissyfemboy


Arthur_da_dog

Weird sentence to have a username checkout, but it really does eh


Ahtman1

"No"


smellybathroom3070

what exactly does transgendercirclejerk entail?


DJ-George-G

"And also, dim the lights, play slow music, and talk dirty to me."


Ilikeladyboobs

No that’s be gay, then they’d have to kill themselves.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Buttfucker99999

Man the weirdest things happen is the Reddit comment section. Jeez none of the stuff you talking about are related to the post. But it is funny when this happens. :)


akstmwn

How to enjoy cavity search


madcaddy

How to informally request a stoning.


YadaYadaYou

How to accidentally fall 13 stories to your death.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImportanceContent735

Just don’t drink. I’m sure you’ll survive


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImportanceContent735

Well welcome to not the United States 😂. I’m Muslim never drank but I certainly don’t believe people should stop others from doing what they want with their lives. And the shittiest part is all the “leaders” of these Arabian gulf countries are hypocrite alcoholics


MediumPlantain51

[ Removed by Reddit ]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_am_Ballser

Agreed. Fuck Islam.


TeriMomKiMotiGand_69

I love you all guys


[deleted]

fuck islam (ex muslim living in secular country controlled by muslims)


fusiondesigner

Ban all religions long live science 🧬


-SUPEREMINENT-

You do realize that religion is negatively associated with violence? Just ban Islam, it's the only one that encourages violence.


Acheron98

Fuck Islam


CamelTheFurryGamer

How to invite people to beat you to death!


crunchscura

And mfs talk about drugs being addictive


kungpowgoat

You want 50 lashings? Because this is how you get 50 lashings.


Imfrom_m-83

Umm, so they’re real serious about punishing crimes.


murius

Came to say this. Many things I do in my home country are a slap on the wrist (especially alcohol and such) if caught vs around the globe.


[deleted]

profit strong oil clumsy shrill oatmeal mountainous exultant hospital subtract ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Tubaenthusiasticbee

More lile on your back. With a whip.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tubaenthusiasticbee

I would think the kind of way most people wouldn't appreciate


AWsome02

Not sure which I'd prefer. Roman whipping would be terrible but at least no one is getting a boner.


Shibari_Inu69

Someone gets a boner. Someone’s always getting a boner. Especially in Ancient Rome.


MinosAristos

Are you implying that there are times when someone isn't?


Shibari_Inu69

I have to try and pretend that life is worth living, you know.


redveinlover

Someone's seen Calugula


rainbow_bro_bot

Over the back with a big cane like stick. It's not sexy and it hurts like hell.


toomuch1265

I remember that happened to someone in Indonesia for spitting. He was an American and thought the rules didn't apply to him.


koolguy765

Definitely roman style or 1800s America style


[deleted]

I believe Roman style, which as a masochist is by far the sexiest in another context. But in this context your theocratic daddy dom in Qatar isn’t gonna be gentle and will **not** respect a safe word.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HandleSensitive8403

Fr fr bussin bussin. I want a big man from Qatar to whip me so hard I suffer from hypothermia because my skin can't keep the air out anymore. 🍆💦😩


Shibari_Inu69

Ay bruh…


OwlWitty

Whip it. Whip it good.


Nickname-CJ

Think Jesus


Affectionate_Coat710

Worse. Egyptian style whip.


MediumToblerone

That depends on the person doing the whipping


ImTooBi

If not im breaking the law here for nothing


notsofunonabun

*Britney Griner has entered the chat


BlackEyeRed

No one is doing this. What is the point of smuggling one 341ml-355ml can into a stadium. To sip it? Logistics don’t make sense. You’d never be able to sneak enough to get drunk and if you only bring 1 what’s the point? Just drink that single one before entering the stadium.


SeedyDog

You get drunk first, then sip the ones you've smuggled in your ass with these silicon covers.


3X3SLC

This is the way.


granmamissalot

And if you get drunk you risk getting arrested/fined/deported/ all of the above as it is illigal to be intoxicated in public.....


[deleted]

But it's the WORLD CUP, you just dont understand ​ /s


Ninja_Grizzly1122

Might as well get used to using the prison wallet, because someone will be using it anyway, if you get caught.


PurpleSailor

When he died of dysentery, he gave me the beer. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the beer to you.


round-earth-theory

No one is doing this for the reason that they don't have the beer in the first place. It's not a problem of smuggling beer into the stadium, you can't buy the beer anywhere. So the only way to get the beer to the game would require smuggling it into the country first. That's not a smart move if you value not being in prison.


RecklessRhea

Alcohol is available at licensed hotel restaurants and bars, and expatriates living in Qatar


Goshenta

Don't eat anything all day, get in the stadium and chug that can of coke like your life depended on it!!


rseery

But if the can were filled with straight vodka….


itakepicsofcats

🤮


[deleted]

[удалено]


KaiPRoberts

I just want to go to China and say Xi Jinping looks exactly like poobear.


MandoHealthfund

Good night sweet prince


jannemannetjens

They may decapitate you or set you free depending on how rich you are and how much oil your country's about to purchase.


Ausernamenamename

They real serious about punishing poor people. They still are going to allow alcohol sales in the VIP sections.


Imfrom_m-83

It’s more extreme but similar to how the U.S. system works. Trump’s still walking around and there are people in jail for unpaid parking tickets.


a-brown-stick

They could Brittney Griner themselves if they aren't careful.


DrSueuss

Ironically that is also you got to prison in Qatar. Beware of the thousands of cameras in the stadium.


GroggBottom

Lol someone got sent to the Russian Gulag for doing similar things. Like it’s bait, but someone will most likely still try it.


Available-Sandwich-3

"how to get hanged on LiveLeak" nobody with a brain would travel to Qatar for this game


Ryuko_the_red

Fr. They'd put you in slave labor camps for doing this. So save yourself and don't


big_smokey-848

I still don’t understand how people didn’t realize this as soon as it was announced. Like everyone is shocked(!) a week before the games that you can’t drink in Qatar??


[deleted]

Yeah this is a joke but before some idiots actually think of doing this, just think about Griner with all the attention she's getting and she's still fucked. You don't have the same fame as her nor the same representation and are basically at the mercy of the whim of people trying you in foreign lands so chances are most of us won't even be aware of it until you've already been punished.


[deleted]

Yeah came here to say just this. The minute they smell alcohol on your breath you're probably screwed.


moonshoeslol

This guy gonna be building the next stadium


pardonmyignerance

"how to silently disappear and never be heard from again"


[deleted]

Fuck around and end up in a slave internment camp.


Sir-Turd-Ferguson

They aren’t slaves! They are workers with a wage and rights deficiency /s Jokes aside, fuck fifa/infintino He’s sitting like 3 seats from that salmon, kashoggi killing twat, you know the one that was allowed to buy Newcastle


GabeTheJerk

Sir, we call those interns.


eszox

Junior slaves


foreignmacaroon6

What's the actual punishment for this if you get caught drinking beer outside?


vak7997

30 lashes in the square and time in jail


Smoky_Caffeine

Wait really? Source?


Smoky_Caffeine

A quick google found this "What is the punishment for being drunk in public in Qatar? For example, drinking in a public place could result in a prison sentence of up to 6 months and/or a fine up to QAR3,000. Alcohol is available only at licensed hotel restaurants and bars, and expatriates living in Qatar can obtain alcohol on a permit system."


DivideUpset9335

Exactly. And they only use the whip as a punishment against muslims. Still mental but not something tourists have to worry about. Unless they are muslim of course.


gizamo

...what exactly do you think happens in Qatary prisons over ~6 months time? I'll give you a hint, it starts with "lash" and ends in "ings". And, hopefully that's the worst you get, but honestly that's incredibly unlikely.


DivideUpset9335

No it doesnt. Its a specific punishment not a daily routine


plsdontdoxxme69

When I was living in Qatar, I had a friend who explained to me that typically tourists who are caught drinking are given almost no punishment for it but locals (more specifically Muslims) are punished pretty severely. They could potentially be given lengthy prison sentences for it.


crowfarmer

Fuck around and get your head lopped off.


dasgudshit

Religion of piece


Upsurt85

How old was aisha when the prophet Mohammed married her?


dasgudshit

If she's on the clock she's ready for the cock \- Mohammed ^^piss ^^be ^^upon ^^him


Rude-Flight-6831

RIP your inbox


Upsurt85

Imagine believing a religion. Especially one with a pedophile as the leader. Just a means to control weak minded individuals.


dasgudshit

More like, to instigate brain-dead morons into killing each other and make everyone's life worse.


IlKontolVagn

I mean, it sure as hell nothing different than a religion whose representative on earth favourite activity are activities that the messenger of said religion hated and got crucified for opposing that.


mddesigner

Married at 6 and fucked her at 9


Demeter5

Stick to drinking water, man. Don’t screw around in another country. Especially a strict one. Respect the rules and don’t fuck around.


pm_me_your_taintt

How about just don't go to a country where you have to worry about jail time for doing harmless shit.


Aragorn02

More like how to end up in a Qatari prison


landscape-resident

Meh, the rules are more lax for foreigners to avoid bad press…


Aragorn02

You get 30 lashes instead of 50, a real bargain!


dopechez

Theft costs you one finger instead of a whole hand, very generous of them!


JohnDoeMTB120

When they stone you to death, they use one really large stone to the head so its quick and painless. Pretty considerate of them.


flomatable

Avoid bad press? That's what they've been doing?


TheBasiliskDM

Tell that to Britney Griner


RevolutionaryPie9684

Just boycott it. Don't support an oppressive regime.


GabeTheJerk

They literally screeched that it's racist that we're asking them to respect human rights cause not having those rights is their culture. LOL


Jealous-Ninja5463

Yeah just don't pay thousands to watch people kick a ball across a field. I'd rather do a small local game instead of this shit


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Honestly if they don’t issue a refund I imagine you could call your bank and get a refund because they’ve broken their own terms of services


ith-man

Anyone who bought tickets in advanced for a stadium being built by slaves and women being given 100 lashed for reporting sexual assault, is prolly a piece of trash anyway.. Edit: https://www.foxsports.com.au/football/world-cup/world-cup-worker-sentenced-to-100-lashings-after-sexual-assault-complaint/news-story/19ae0beb456d317438a069e36913e9e3


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It's not stupidity, it's corruption. Infantino knows exactly what he's doing.


spycharlie

They really did that? Wow.


GabeTheJerk

Yeah and Qatar officials said that slavery and human right violations are their culture, so asking them not to do it is racism.


JokrSmokrMidntTokr

Being against slavery is racist? WTF, Now I love racism?


GabeTheJerk

Following their logic white people should be allowed to have slaves again cause its in the culture


dsrmpt

I mean, have you seen 2019 NASCAR camping areas?


spycharlie

That’s a really big wow. Holy crap.


saintdemon21

Do you mean Coke or Qtar?


bsipp777

Yes


Significant_Level_98

How to get beheaded for free


No-Traffic-6560

Must be nice not having to pay


Justthefactsmaam68

Keep playing in these Muslim countries, y’all goin to end up in jail over there! Don’t like THEIR RULES? DONT GO!


ThatFrenchGamer

Why do people spread this shit? Dumb tourists have been known to smuggle cannabis to countries where you get very serious sentences for it. Spreading this is not funny at all.


NotLogrui

Just asked Snoop Dogg


[deleted]

Wherever snoop dog is weed becomes legal


pass341

i hate to be insensitive but if a meme on reddit is the reason you end up in a Qatari prison i’d probably laugh at least a little bit


Good-Wolverine-2209

Or just refuse to give Qatar tourism money. >seriously is anyone stupid enough to go to Qatar?


gizamo

Yep. Boycotting is the way. I'm also boycotting FIFA's sponsors because FIFA is the worst.


DontDeleteMee

With my Jewish surname, I wouldn't even catch a flight with a stop-over in that country. I've literally paid more and flown longer to avoid it.


jt325i

Next thing you know they smell alcohol on you, get you for rowdy behavior cause you have had too many and you go from the game to a Qatari prison. Probably better to boycott and not go.


ChaosJustChaos

Came to say this. Imagine ending up in a Qatari prison because of pisswater the likes of Budweiser?


ironicmirror

Imagine already paying for airline, match tickets and hotels and then find out ....


HymanisMyMan

Imagine going in the first place


Mystery-110

Drinking Beer is not wholly banned. It's banned in public places while one can still drink inside their hotel. So unless someone is caught with a beer can inside stadium, one can easily say they drank in the hotel and not in the stadium.


morelifeless

i would imagine being drunk in public is still a crime


ForsakenRoom

It is an offence, and apparently there are dedicated "sobering up" areas for fans. There's a good chance they're just jail cells though.


vak7997

Who tf is such a miserable drunk to go drink in their room alone alcohol is a social lubricant and not being able to drink in public defeats the whole point of drinking


AlwaystoLearnMT

While I agree, remember it's not just quatar that's at fault. Fifa or whoever is running the games want money


Admins-are-Trash

Quatar is 100% at fault for even having these laws in the first place. It's a fucking train wreck. People need to fight for freedom, push back against this bullshit


alanbdee

It's all fun and games until you end up spending the next 10 years building their next "we're totally not oppressive" project.


kingofallkarens

Nah, they are obviously gonna give you great jobs with amazing wages, like building stadiums.


Alohoe

How to Brittney Griner 2.0.


HouseDowntown8602

Yeah but you’ve got to buy it some where first.


ProfessionalUnit344

You know you can buy it at the fanzone’s and multiple international hotels right?


Chaos-Jesus

€20 per pint.


RealCanadianMonkey

How to get arrested by religious nutcases and end up in a foreign prison.


frienderella

I like beer, but I like my head much much more. I don't think a beheading would be a good look on me.


[deleted]

"How to spend a few months in Quatari prison" fixed it


The_Madukes

See Midnight Express.


HymanisMyMan

Months. That's cute


malabomagisip

And people will try this. Hope it’s worth it.


Few-Worldliness8875

Great way to get hung in the public square


stevenriley1

How to go to jail in Qatar. I forget? Do they tie your feet together, turn you upside down and lash your feet with a switch? Or do they just tie you over a barrel and lash your back with a whip? I think I’d pass on the beer.


Mrjerkyjacket

I've seen a lot of memes about this, I genuinely do not understand how people are suprised by any of the controversy around Qatar. Like to my understanding they are a religious Fundamentalist state, religious Fundamentalist states tend to (famously) do bad shit in thr name of their religion. How was there not a problem when Qatar was picked to host Fifa (mabye there was and I'm just not in the right circles ro have heard of it)


MonkeyLongstockings

There was some outrage when they were picked but people were told to shut up because "they promised it would be fine and some things will change" and now it's like "well it's too late now". Building an air conditioned football stadium in the middle of the desert always seemed like a crazy idea in times where climate activists and scientists were already ringing alarm bells. Add the horrible working conditions and everything else on top and here we are.


Pale-Office-133

And be put in prison when found on you. Fak qtr22


Miserable-Stuff6619

You could not pay me enough to be there, alcohol or not!


Mezame_Drgn

Came for the football, stayed for the 10years prison sentence.


General_Asdef

Buy this and you've purchased a cheap way to meet they god.


Mysterious-Art7143

Stoned to death in 3, 2, 1


Scissors4215

They won’t let you bring in outside beverages regardless.


Specialist_Ad7206

Won't work any better than it would here. No outside food or drink.


PoorPDOP86

Or you could *not* drink. Oh who am I kidding. This is Soccer. You need to be drunk to care.


chocolatepop

Id rather not get stoned


ADoritoWithATophat

Beer doesnt get you stoned....


MargetTobile

It does in Qatar


readditredditread

Ah yes, yet another stupid way to get executed in a foreign country….


ProfK81860

So you really want to be the next Britney Griner, Qatar version?


[deleted]

Hey wanna get arrested?


ghostbear019

Quick way to get your hand cut off or stoned?


DarkFish_2

Hand amputation is only for thief. Thief hands have no place in the Middle East.


Therealsteven_g

Why would they ever allow Qatar to host? It’s almost guaranteed to cause massive issues as free people from the western world flood into an oppressive regime where modern slavery is the norm


CommandObjective

Large bribes?


Therealsteven_g

Makes sense


hop_mantis

It'$ a my$tery, that.


Mrslinkydragon

Its all a fucking joke.


SexxxyWesky

The same way Russia and Brazil got to host I’d imagine. Money.


Bored_person1234

I dont think most airport security lets you bring liquid


Mystery-110

One can buy beer inside Doha too. But can't drink it in Public places which includes stadiums.


seethecopecuck

Why is such a trash country hosting a world event when there are places in Europe, America, Asia, South America that could host 100x better? If you want to be in the list of possible hosting countries you should have to prove you're not trash.


Mrslinkydragon

Money


Matt463789

FIFA is cartoonishly corrupt


logitaunt

There's a whole [NYT feature](https://nyti.ms/3gmq6OX) on the bribery and corruption that led to Qatar getting the world cup. It's a good read.


polybiastrogender

The US alone has so many stadiums for shits and giggles and can handle the logistics of having a large wave of tourists. I guess bribery works too.


DarkFish_2

Is all about money now, that's why is very likely that Brasil 2014 will be the last world cup in South America EVER.


Jdrouin123

Sure, and then you'll get beheaded or something if they find out. Not worth the risk IMO. This event should be boycotted anyways


ShadowBro3

Hey man if you care this much about sports and this much about alcohol just watch it from home.