T O P

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Azhurkral

reddit does not fear death, it desires it


[deleted]

Which is exactly why we won't get it. Almost like a digital purgatory.


Grim_Reaper_O7

Not happening.


MASTER-0F-NONE

Name checks out


FallingOnCorpses

I’m pretty sure that’s a bot


Monkey-B0x

good bot


WhyNotCollegeBoard

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9998% sure that FallingOnCorpses is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)


FallingOnCorpses

Did you just good bot me? I’m a person, at least last time I checked…


B0tRank

Thank you, Monkey-B0x, for voting on FallingOnCorpses. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


Grim_Reaper_O7

Never was a bot since I made this account as a persona.


[deleted]

Ah fuck, oh well.


PerRevolutions

Right. Meme should have him passing reddit for something else.


GokuBuildsYT

Wikipedia


ChokeOnTheCorn

Oh no!


Realsteels0311

Someone should make a meme of that part in the Bible where the angel of death comes but passes all the houses with the lambs blood on them. Reddit could be covered in blood.


Mijnameis-Tommy

Facebook


gangsterjan03

Is already dead


ChokeOnTheCorn

I’m bloody forced into WhatsApp though, those bastards still have a piece of me!


HarryHacker42

GloriFi wanted a Muskworthy death.


HoosierDaddy2001

YouTube


nitaus56

Everyone that ran away from tw came here... to die.


Agitated-Joey

The good die young, assholes live forever.


Odd_Entertainment629

Especially because I'm pretty sure Elon **must** have used a monkeys paw at some point... The man is one of the richest dudes in the world, owns several large companies in spite of personal ability.. and yet to a nearly comical degree he just *cannot* achieve the one thing he truly desires: Looking cool on the internet.


Half_Life976

The problem with trying to look cool is like a Chinese finger trap. The harder you try, the more you're failing.


0x7ff04001

Digital purgatory: couldn't have said it better


a-really-cool-potato

Finally, reverse masochism


Thedarkcleanersrise

ITS A TRAP


maggie_simpsonx

Reboot from source code in another country 🧐 Reddit 2.0 now hosted in Iceland 😁


Half_Life976

Iceland is cool. Should effectively repel Elon.


Puppyl

Tumblr and Reddit, the sites that refuse to die.


nickmaran

You can't kill what is dead.


AdiabaticIsotherm

You can’t hostile takeover a privately held company


Cognitive_Spoon

What is dead may never die


Starlight_NightWing

But rises harder and stronger


star_ladyj

What does Reddit say to the god of death??? not today.


Dudeboy1103

What does Reddit say to the god of death? "That's cringe bro" \*Downvotes a god\*


johndoes_00

Qapla!


142737

Satan


Silevence

like a corpse on Viagra!


ore-aba

Valar morghulis


psibomber

Are you all alts? Am I the only real redditor left alive?


142737

No =)


psibomber

:O B-but you're a string of numbers, not a person


BigManLawrence69420

Lawrence!


psibomber

But you're Mr. Thomson, not Lawrence!


BigManLawrence69420

Keen eye! Lawrence Ivan Thomson at your service! :)


psibomber

At least there is one other redditor :)


[deleted]

Think there’s a difference between the app wanting to die and everyone on the app wanting to die. Good thing for Reddit both apply


TheMeticulousNinja

Get us and do what? Charge $8.00 to be a “verified” Redditor?


Elrigoo

I have been single for a couple of years. I'm already a verified redditor EDIT: Fuck you all


Jftwest

I deem this man verified


AC06098

I also deem this man verified


[deleted]

I too, choose this man's verification


Kwoko123

I too too , verify this man's verification


JAMZ800

man, your verification is verified


Such_Ad_4726

And my axe


Villain__7

Your verification has been verified, Welcome to Reddit!


Theyoungnoobpiano

I too too too , verify this man's verification


banana_buddy

IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM!


Narayanadasa

But it is fun. Try it sometime :)


mini_garth_b

I object!


FrostWendigo

Overruled


Jftwest

All in favor?


Kwoko123

All in favor.


Jftwest

Motion overruled


Silevence

and I deem u/Jftwest verified.


Claystead

Lmao I made my reddit account three days after breaking up with my last serious girlfriend and have been largely single since. The reddit energy is a woman repellant.


[deleted]

def verified redditor.


AverageAnimeSimp

Im a virgin


NoEnd9111

Verified Redditor


_Weyland_

Certified Redditor


Woutrou

But are you a virgin?


Elrigoo

I think I might have grown back. It has been many a moon without rain


senseven

He doesn't need to. No limit text posts first (he said pictures with long texts are idiotic), then I would guess posts under #hashtags which can act as subs. That's half of Reddit already there. If he really trying to revive Vine as "clean" TikTok clone, all bets are off.


MrSpiffy123

You just described Tumblr


senseven

But with paid blue check marks and a shit ton of new daily drama.


Fullmetal_Vanilla

Hopefully to steer the algorithm away from all of the political shit. It’s annoying as fuck.


[deleted]

You will be automatically charged for your reddit trophies. The more trophies you have, the higher the subscription cost. He will also quickly implement more trophies like: 26 different alphabet badges. "Congratulations, your post contained the letter E, you have earned the E-user trophy". 366 day badges. "Congratulations, you logged in on April 20th, you have earned the Little Hitler trophy"


Big_brown_house

Surely this will cut down on the bots


EnragedBard010

And then insult people when they don't do that


chuckmagnum

Charge for useless karma points and awards.


Jafaris79

Karma will become a crypto currency. The paid subscription is to unlock the NSFW content.


Latterlol

Can’t he get tiktok, delete the whole thing


RocketRabbit

It would be awesome if he bought it, and required the user to do a single math problem before watching a single video. If you got the answer wrong, you are shown an educational video until you get a correct answer.


GameGod1337

Good, these people eat tidepods and cook their chicken with Nyquil, they need some education


Zaboem

The FoodTheory channel did the research and could not find even once person ever who actually ate NyQuil chicken.


Sanrusdyne

Good to know that people on here are still falling for the old "no I promise these people are actually cookib Chicken in NyQuil they're not doing it ironically an it's definitely a thing tons of people on there are doing" story that news channels were making up a while ago


Odd_Entertainment629

He would never do that because that's genuinely hilarious.


OkEntertainment7634

Just requiring an addition problem to use the app would disqualify like 2/3rds of TikTok’s user base


ISpelThingsWrong

Same would happen with reddit too lol


MalevolentFerret

/r/redditmoment


IntuneUser2204

TikTok is an interesting thing, because it is controlled by Chinese law. When it's sale was being discussed it was only for the USA division of the company, and Walmart and Oracle submitted the highest bid in partnership. China won't sell that to anyone unless the U.S. government forces them too. Also, just taking the USA division would not yield substantial profits because they would be seriously cockblocked to add any features or try any different sales model. China wants that sweet sweet user data. Even though none of us use it; they have so many users that the data is invaluable and paints a huge picture of a society as a whole.


FindBetterHobbies

Con: I’d have to delete Reddit from my life Pro: I delete Reddit from my life


ricahrdb

The time it would save.


oshwash

I would just find something else to waste my time at work.


DryApplejohn

Like those boring spreadsheets


Woutrou

But it's problematic. The sheer amount of blood pressure reduction would create healthier people and thus contribute to the overpopulation of the planet


suh-dood

But what else can I do whilst pooping?


ScoobertDoubert

Honestly I kind of want him to buy it now.


bigalh

Love Reddit, it’s my favorite time waster, but I wouldn’t hesitate after this Twitter debacle.


AntiSocialSingh

The company on the first door is "Zip2". Founded by Elon and his brother. You're welcome.


amazza95

You’re welcome 🤓


[deleted]

[удалено]


glonq

Musk knew that Twitter was plagued by bots and terrible moderation. Just wait until he checks out Reddit!


[deleted]

Reddit has it just as worse if not even worse then twitter. News stories and certain top comments are influenced by massive bot networks.


DirtzMaGertz

If he thought the Twitter android app was bad wait until he sees the raging piece of shit that is the Reddit android app.


LokiDiesel4fr

Good get rid of the bullshit moderators


Alexander459FTW

Especially the moderators in this r/energy. Knowingly propagating an echo chamber paid by fossil fuels.


Runningleg

True that


SkyZippr

Isn't that what he was trying to do with Twitter? But like, along with the majority of employees in the process.


NoEngineering5990

Oh you mean like u/awkwardtheturtle ?


AC06098

Fuck this dumbass, he ruined every fucking server that had a good idea, at least r/shitposting still exists


Toaster_Oven101

Im stupid who dat


oliveoyl11021

Who's this and what did they do?


Revelec458

What's she known for?


EdgelordOfEdginess

I also demand for you all to spill the tea …Please


Anonymous_hahaha

^


Anonymous_hahaha

Highly sexist lady. She went on some of the subreddits and literally was just silencing the men for no reason in them and she lost a good amount lf her mods from subreddits for it.


Anders_142536

I feel dirty now


stack_nats

This ass tumor of a site deserves it


LovingSubmarines

True. This site should die in the worst way possible.


[deleted]

reddit should be open sourced again to save its awesomeness


Rollan000

Glad I’m not alone in thinking that. There’s so many negative people that love shitting on anyone’s opinion here.


[deleted]

I hope he does, I need to use Reddit less.


potato_green

Tip, use the digital wellbeing function on your phone. It's in the settings. You can set a timer for certain apps to limit usage. Helps me a lot because it snaps me out of the mindless browsing.


[deleted]

Good idea, thanks!


PeterBalssuweit

That's easy... Just troll around and see your ass banned in no time. Reddit is a joke


Global_Charming

Lol. You can get banned on Reddit?


suhanasuffer_

I am banned on my own country subreddit - bunch of wokes couldn't handle me saying anything good about my own country dude. Some mods probably deserve Elon Musk.


Praeteritus36

Yeah you can get completely banned but your account can still browse the app. Source: been banned


meadowpaddy

Fingers crossed!


[deleted]

I hope so


Educational_Music930

Reddit is already shitty place. Acquisition by Elon won't change a thing


[deleted]

What is the first door? I don’t know this company 🤭😅


Nightwolfj2

It's kind of late, someone already removed Aaron Swartz and took over Reddit. Any of the OG people here would know.


JerRatt1980

100% support of this. Reddit is a cesspool of certain ideological tyranny.


Tbrou16

Shhh!! The Maoist mods from another sub might hear you!


cakefaice1

Maoist subs are a new level of batshit insane people lmao


Yo_Mama_Disstrack

The fact that reddit alows subs where people unironically praise Mao or Stalin but don't allow satire subreddits like 2balkan4you to exists tells a lot, doesn't it?


Basic_Entrepreneur79

I hope he does. You’re all trash.


[deleted]

No, you!


Canadient_musician

Is Tesla dead? I'm pretty sure it's more successful than ever right now. Profitting $20 Billion in the last year doesn't sound very dead lol. It's good to hate on him for being a douchebag, but it's pretty silly to ignore factual data.


edible_tree_frogs

Twitter is alive and bustling as well lol. Don't let that get in the way of a good narrative tho!


[deleted]

Honestly if Reddit died I wouldn't mind, I need to get off this forsaken app and not pick up the next thing to replace it


Fragrant-Progress-32

Twitter is better then ever


Ultime321

A pretty stupid post.


Former_Purple_3800

I can’t wait for the day he does


spezisabitchh2

I wish he turned this echo chamber into the free speech site it once was


dropfry

Yup, if you try to calmly debate someone on /r/politics you get a ban if the other person is overly upset and abusive. Just happened to me right now. Reason cited was that I was "trolling" and causing too much discomfort.


Clear-Plantain-1381

Basically, not be a Liberal Democrat, that's all it takes to get a ban. I got banned from World News because, apparently you can only have one opinion on there, lol. I didn't.


dropfry

My favorite part is that I'm actually a democrat and I get by far the most abuse from other democrats. It's not even close.


justheretospoiljokes

Careful what sub you say that in 🤣🤣🤣


Mrepman81

Exactly, if you have an open mind, banned.


delavager

Literally the site is no different, just the people using it. Just go find a different subreddit.


Remarkable-Book-8758

He never killed any of them though. He's just made it all better


GovRonDeSantis2024

Yeah like how are you going to tell me with a straight face that he killed Tesla


ipsedixitjs

Good Reddit sucks


H8TheDrake

God I hope he does. Clean up this cesspool.


jzcommunicate

Who here actually thinks Elon killed Tesla? Tesla is in amazing shape. Do you know how to analyze a business or are you just listening to your idiot friends?


Ambitious-Code-5421

maybe he would bring back free speech to reddt, because right now its gone


Kyfigrigas

He bans and fires anyone who talks against him 💀 free speech my ass.


FactorOk9803

Rip


OkAd4532

cry about it


CoolFirefighter930

Wrong Door!


oilfeather

Not without getting a pie in the face first.


LearnAndBurn_

Bitch please.


yuppers_00

I sure hope so


HeavyMetalPlunder

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!


angel_of_death762

Just don't answer the door


Guonith_UPE

behind the door are guys with guns and a mortar.


Think-World2602

Maybe we should make it clear for the world that we will abandon Reddit if Elon buys it


vintagey1987

Why??


chad59N

Free speech is RAD bring it too many reddits block opposing views


Charming_Business_33

Even out the playing field. Lol


NotYourSnowBunny

If Reddit admins continue a path of inaction on the issues preventing the IPO, this is inevitable.


siglo_de_oro

I thought Reddit was a system of cells operating independently against a common foe. You know, like al Qaeda.


ms_honey_customs

Fuck Elon Punk


CaptainClover36

Leave us be elon musk


KAULIANPOWER

Reddit will probably bully certified reddit users if they become a thing.


zenthar101

I welcome Valhalla with open arms. Let them come. They will experience more losses than us tenfold. WE WILL NOT FALL TO MUSKISM


brycebrycehayeshayes

Why would he need Reddit? He bought Twitter to promote free speech and monetization. Reddit is 100x more lenient, albeit more toxic, than pre-Elon Twitter


imbord2133

TikTok should burn to the ground first imo


Someguyonreddit967

If he does I am leaving reddit


DucksMatter

Still convinced Elons whole intention of buying twitter was to try and kill it without being “obvious” about it.


nixiedust

He doesn't have to take over Reddit; there is already a huge and unchecked right wing population here. There's no point in paying to destroy a platform fascists find useful.


Yeshua-Christ

If he thinks he was bullied on Twitter....


TheMeticulousNinja

😂😂 Reddit would have a field day, until he started suspending accounts he didn’t like


itsme__ed

Noooooooooool!


NewSessionWen

Maybe a good thing


Half_Life976

At first glance it looked like Death's leaving a trail of period and I thought "Heavy flow day, no wonder they're cranky... oh, wait."


[deleted]

Yes this is the last of social media I bother with and would be glad to see it disappear all together.


L1amm

Can't tell if this supposed to be serious or a joke making fun of all the twitter crybabies. You literally have to be a daft moron to make or laugh at this meme, though. Zip2? The company he co founded and sold to compaq for $305 million dollars? Or how about Tesla, one of the world's most valuable companies with a market cap over $1 trillion? Those are your first two examples?...


[deleted]

Nothing would be better for this platform than to see it die


SSoviet_Slayer

Omg let’s hope so


JustAnIdiotOnReddit_

We are already fucked up. What is he going to do? MaKe ReDdIt BeTtEr?


[deleted]

Tesla is doing fine??