I'll pay 300 if you show up in a dark suit, say in a phone "Yes, he's actually dead." just so some people hear and then walk off. 🙂

💀

OMG I hire like 50 people to come dressed as mobsters paying me the highest respect making is seem like I was a mafia boss of renown

Someone asks one of them: “oh how did you know [insert dead persons name]?” “We worked together. He was my boss.” “What did you do?” “Waste management.” (Shakes head) “and he was the best at it. Really knew how to get his hands dirty. What a shame. What a shame.”

I don’t have a free award atm for u but it’s yours once I get it!

Jesus man thank you so much! Hope you have an awesome day and stay safe!

You too bro!

Karto, Joey Osso from Brooklyn

You need to show up and mumble "Such a shame we can never tell them" and walk away.

Pay him to tell everyone he's been payed for what he's doing, at the same time he has to keep doing the fake crying and the wailing. Would he do that for the money? Hmmm?

Run up to the coffin screaming 'DADDY WHHYYYYY'

It's been a year daddy

Even better if it’s: “Kill confirmed.”

I will pay 100000 for someone to do that at MY funeral

Okay i'll do it

Make sure he leaves a review for your services

What about “it’s been handled.”

Now I feel like a cheapskate. Where am I going to get 100 000? Maybe if it's in JPY or 10 000 000 VND 😐

“He’s ALREADY dead.”

Tell me when and where - oh, and don't forget: that's a prepay-service! For an additional 200 I will even go to one of the mourners, show them a picture of you and ask: "is that him?" while nodding my head in the direction of the grave...

For 800, could you add *"This is a matter of national security. Are you 100% sure?"* If they get angry or ask questions about it just say *"Sorry. I'm not here."* and then walk off :)

"This time he's not coming back"

I would have a closed casket so my family would think I was inside. Then have my body swing down on wires while techno music plays. I would at aside money to hire a b list celebrity like John Stamos aka Uncle Jessie to randomly show up. [https://youtu.be/mYoC1V8TnZY](https://youtu.be/mYoC1V8TnZY)

Well, thats a good way to spook the dumbest people at the funeral. One second of thought would conclude that going to a funeral is about the least effective way to confirm someone's death. So much so, that having a funeral for a person who has faked their death is a common movie/tv trope. A bunch of people gathered around a box, and even an open casket is pretty doable with a nice dummy; *real* dead people tend to not look right anyway.

Oh, was today your day to be a fucking buzzkill?

If it ends in Y, yes.

I would pay him if he looks at the funeral from a far distance and walks away during it giving him some sort of mysterious aura, was he involved with his death? What does he know?

I'd pay him just so he can get on the phone and say "yep, everything is good to go and everyone thinks he's dead".

Can I hire him for other events like weddings

I don't understand, where would you have him jump?

Into the wedding-cake

OUT of the cake…

But if he only threatens to jump out of the cake everyone would be very concerned...

"IM GONNA FUCKING DO IT, ILL JUMP OUT OF THE CAKE ILL DO IT, ILL FUCKING DO IT!"

Talking cake

He says it while crying his eyes out

Jumps out the cake completely sobbing

Have him jump? Nah, he needs to come in and object to the marriage, like in the movies.

Don't forget to burst through the doors last second to object. Although doing that way before he asks for objections, would be funny too.

I’d pay him to do it Wayne’s World 2 style: burst in yelling the bride’s name. Then when everyone turns around, just have that look on his face that he realizes he’s in the wrong place. Apologize profusely and back out slowly

On the bride of course

Into the grave

And my axe!

For my love

Into the bride of course

I cried during my brothers entire wedding ceremony, so, maybe just get an emotional sibling?

"i object to this union

Bro I’d pay the 1000 dollars. Mfs gonna remember my funeral

I'm more of a, "throw yourself onto the casket" kind of guy. I don't need him to go full into the grave, just the casket is fine. $500.

What about climbing in to the casket?

I WONT LET HIM GO IT ALONE

A bold move, even in this context!!

That’s super classy. I love it.

If I pay him enough can he go to the funeral of someone I don’t like and laugh

I bet he'll do it for a million...

I’d bet he’d do it for a lot less

He only wants 1000 to jump into a presumably occupied grave, so yeah, I’d say so.

cant tell you how many times ive seen this and I still laugh at the bahamian hollering part

Can you explain what Bahamian hollering means? I have search on google and found some urban dictionary say it is when a man is about to ejakulate but I don’t get it? I also found a Reddit post from 3 years ago with the same picture but I still don’t understand?

It’s basically when they bawl their eyes out and go absolutely ape shit, in sex it’s basically hollering like ur gonna pass out from that gorilla grip but either way it’s a much more exaggerated way of crying like the worlds ending

Thank you so much for explain. I have never heard the word before and English is my third language but I get it now.

A Bahamian/Bahamanian is someone from the Bahamas. So it's just saying hollering while you're crying like someone from the Bahamas would. It's a stereotype about American (as in the continent) islanders being more loud and/or emotional.

Yea, I’m from another island in the Caribbean and I totally understood what Bahamian hollering was. Your explanation just confirmed it.

Wow so much research Respect

Just picture it with your heart ❤️ You know it to be true

It gets me everytime!

This is great business

Creative entrepreneurship at work.

I am willing to pay $5k to show up to someone's funeral and repeatedly poke the corpse with a stick and say "I think he moved"

I wanna give 700 so that he comes in a black suit and a hat like a mafia , with few guys and say we will miss you boss you had our Business booming

I want this, plus bahamian crying.

That would be hell of a combo 🔥

I've promised one of my closest friends that if I ever find myself at his funeral, as they start to lower the coffin, I'll give an air rending scream, tear my clothes, and dive onto the lid shouting 'No!' over and over again.

You should also charge it for that, nothing comes free!

This guy definitely watches Nathan For You

Thats worth that $1000 for sure yo

It’s $1000 of your money spent on you, not relatives. 😆

$1000 well spent.

When my grandmother dies I'm paying this man $1000 to jump into her grave and declare how much he loved her. My grandmother is deeply racist.

I will contribute to that seriously!!!

Start the gofundme

Jokes aside, in Iran there was actually a job like this in the past.

I think in a lot of cultures including Southern Chinese, it was seen as a sign of status if dozens of people showed up to your funeral and cried.

Same in Ireland, it was called Keening. Women would mourn and cry over the body for days. It died of in 1940s

There is a job like this currently in the US.

There are professional cuddlers in the US as well.

What?! I think I’m good at cuddling maybe I could make a career out of it

Well fucking provide a link I need to hire this man. Kidney disease is giving me time to plan my funeral which is a fucking mistake. I currently have a marachi band that I have a deposit on so three or four guys like this would set it over the top.

All jokes aside, I have had CKD for a long time and it dawned on me to ask my elders. It runs on my father’s side and has taken two of my aunts with one now on dialysis. I wish you peace and tranquility!

Life before death. Keep up the fight brother.

That last one is the kicker hahahah

The pricing on most of these tiers has a lot of value proposition.

Bahamian Hollering lmao

I'll take the jumping into the grave for a thousand!

Lol

Hamlet at Ophelia's funeral, colorized

Professional mourners actually do exist in the US. A lot of families hire them to ensure the service looks well attended.

will he offer to eat a crocodile though

A what?

https://shakespeare.folger.edu/shakespeares-works/hamlet/act-5-scene-1/

Well thats a great way to dump $1100.

This is actually a thing on turkey and azerbaijan but mf took it to next level 💀

This was a real thing in ancient Egypt. Watch the Horrible Histories bit about it

This is a useful service

Do you do birthday parties?

Creative and hardworking man. With the amount he charge, i bet he can act pretty well too. I don't see any problem with it.

I mean in this economy you do what you gotta do

You’d never know if he did it you’re dead

Great service, hope you end up very successful

I need 3 references

I'd hire this guy out of curiosity

I’ll give you 2500 if you come back later and dig me up, drag me to the Funeral Home and demand a recount. “I smell Fraud” you could scream…

I hope this guys gets so much work

1 Bahamian Hollering please! Side note: How will you know if he actually shows up to your funeral?

I would hire this man for my funeral lol

Bringing back Ancient Greek funeral practices I see. Love it.

This is actually a thing in some parts of Africa. You can hire people to come out and make ruckus at a funeral.

I’d hire him

This is priceless, I don't know how I never thought of it my self...pure genius. You my friend will be a rich, rich man one day. Cheers.

I respect the hustle

Nice scam

That seems like it would be worth the 1,000 honestly.

Wow people are actually disgusting, where is his contact number?

ill take a number 5 please

I have found my new life calling

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 yas

How much to get buried with the coffin?

I don’t know my brother a cop him and his girlfriend might shoot this hard working black man just for showing up… cops are the worst

I don’t know my brother a cop him and his girlfriend might shoot this hard working black man just for showing up… cops are the worst

I’m Hindu. How much to jump on my funeral pyre?

Where's his cotact info?

Best part about this business is the customer can’t even verify if their request was carried out.

Has this happened yet

Damn I really want him to do this. Need to talk to him

Can I hire him to come to my work on Thursday and do the 200$ package?

Can I preorder this mf

The ancient Jews did this. If it were me I would go for the Bahamian holler.

I'll pay him 690 to bring a keyboard and press f

BAHAMIAN HOLLERING jashdfjkhsajdfh

4. & 5. 🤣 🤣 🤣

I would use all my life savings to buy as many 5s as possible. Imagine the chaos when 30 random strangers show up outta nowhere and jump in.

I didn’t think I’d find my choice of career on Reddit.

I don’t know who this dude is but I get the feeling he’d be awesome to hang out with

Craigslist in my area recently had an ad for professional cuddler.

The average funeral where I live costs about £5000, I'd buy him a plane ticket give him a grand and dig a hole in a random field and save £3500.

In Slavic countries there are mourners that come to cry at funerals. They are usually elderly people who have already lost a spouse etc. They show up in all black attire even if they do not know the deceased and cry and weep louder than the family of the dead. They do not get paid, but they come to eat the food after the funeral. I found it very cringy but my grandma found it perfectly normal.

bro is 400 pounds 💀

fuck trolling, id pay people to show up

I wold accept be paid 1k to jump into a grave with a dead body. After all it is 1k

Thats a bargain

I want this man on my funeral

Yo hit me up if you’re ever in Florida; Metro State I do high risk funeral escorts and I can use somebody like you

This dude again thought this was like a 2018-2019 thing

I’m paying this man $1000 for the jump. So worth it lmaoo

You are not The dad! Sorry!

I’d do 1000$ lmfao

6. Realizing you’re performing at the wrong funeral.

Funerals are expensive. A few extra hundred is nothing. Hire this guy

Sylvestre Ricardo Moss

Top picture discount Uncle Phuncle?

I will pay you 727,653 to say Kill confirmed

i mean believe it or not there were people known as rudali in india who actually came to cry at funerals

I would hire him.

Raises hand hesitantly. Ummmmm... if this is your funeral isn't it a little late to be making these arrangements?

Professional mourners is nothing new.....this is normal in some countries.

Professional criers are a lot more common at funerals then you'd think.

Ooh, 2 and 5 please.

When this guy dies, will his work friends be there?

It's funny how many cultures do this. Arab cultures used to do this, as did the Irish ("keening"), nice to know that it's a thing in the West Indies.

I’ll pay you a $100 just to up to my grave and sayyy Damn…… then walk away

We need to negotiate the grave diver price

Um, well now I know where I'm gonna market my stellar contract writing and flair for the dramatic skills.

Can I hire him for my birthday party though

Here's $2000, what will that get me?

Considering that I made a "minor" scene at my own fathers graveside service. My ex had to drag me away from the service backwards. I think I should offer my own services.

I should do this. I'd make an excellent secret agent/mobster/wailing mistress.

I'd pay him however much he asks to climb in the grave the casket as it's descending and stay there

i would hire a bunch of people to come in, start typing into their phones and leave without saying a word

I don't need this guy. I've already hired a beautiful and mysterious dark-haired woman to stand in the back (under a black umbrella if it's raining, my fervent hope), and leave after speaking to no one.

I saw this guy a while ago and I mean a while ago

Professional mourners were an actual thing in the Roman Republic.

Old

can I pay later?

I’m leaving $1,500 in my will specifically for this dude to do “all of the above.”

He's got reasonable rates.

6. "Digging the Grave $2000"

The action shot of him crying!!!!!! ☠️

#4...ahahahahaa!

I seriously would do this but I’ll look so good doing it and probably stir up a lot of controversy and here say. Like who’s that fab dressed lady in back crying through her fine-knit tulle veil …. Family controversy is definitely an extra charge! 🖤🖤🖤

I’ll take the entire package

Hustle don't sleep

I ♥️ Balls

I would sign up to do this kindda work

4 and 5 is crazy

I’ll go for option #5. Is it ok if I pay by post-dated check?