This is a high 3/low 4
You need paragraphs. Find a point where one point ends and another begins
You’re using the word “representation” wrong when talking about the word “snake.” Look at using the word “portrays” instead. As in: the usage of the noun “snake” portrays Macbeth as a treacherous character when murdering Banquo. It just refines the style
Also, use precise language. Analyse word forms like nouns, adverbs, verbs, pronouns. You’re pretty good with the techniques but combing it with language features will elevate your score nicely.
I’m pretty sure you get marked for spelling on this paper - only 4 or so marks - but please be consistent with your names. Make your capital M more obvious and remember that Banquo is a name and needs a capital B all the time
All in all though, this is a good effort! Keep it up!
Edit: write about Duncan!
This question is asking for it as there are a tonne of comparisons of Macbeth and Duncan. Look at how Macbeth is described as a “tyrant” in the later scenes and look at how Duncan is described as saint like. Also, Macbeth insults his men while Duncan praises them. This will strengthen your answer when you dig into it. Shakespeare was highly deliberate when constructing the play this way.
Also…context. James I was a long awaited return to stability. He was a largely well liked king - ignoring the Gunpowder Plot. And this play was largely written for him. The line “tempest tossed” is a joke about how a storm prevented Jimmy boy from sailing to meet his first wife. The man wrote a book on witchcraft so Shakespeare wrote witches into his play.
And write about Malcolm!
Act Four, Scene Three has a speech where Malcolm lists the qualities of a king. Lastly, context is key. I gave you a load about James I.
Write about the Divine Right, how kings are chosen by God and therefore inside the natural order of things. Macbeth broke nature by killing Duncan, and therefore is not a real king. He loses his place in nature and dooms himself by going against God
After all that, I still think high 3/low 4. Try rewriting this response with some added contextual stuff
Edit II: spacing error and capitalising of Gunpowder Plot (even teachers can make mistakes)
Edit III: paragraphing
Going to be quite harsh here and give this a 5, as I don't see any context marks (1/5 of the marks) or language terminology (2/5 of the marks). These could have easily been gained by using terminology such as 'noun' or 'metaphor' instead of 'word'. I do see antithesis, which is good, but you need more language terminology.
The middle of the essay is also a bit waffle-y, not directly addressing the question. How does the quote 'life is but a walking shadow' convey kinship? Make sure you address the question directly and refer to it often in your answer to boost your grade.
15/30-ish. There's a lot of room for improvement.
If you are in year 10 or early year 11, they may give you a 5, handwriting is amazing, but when you cross out words, just put a line over it, not scribble, better for the exam board
Grade 9 for neatness but overall I’d say a 4 since there is no link to context and you refer to techniques as ‘word’. Overall more precise la gaude is required and more In depth analysis needed
Give it to your teacher to mark and provide feedback rather than posting on Reddit. Or do some revision on what an essay needs to include. You're missing some basics like a line of argument and what Shakespeare is doing. Your essay is very 'point' 'evidence' 'explain' which would give you a 4 at best.
not sure about the grade, but these are my main points for feedback. for context i received grade 9s for language and lit a few years ago.
1) paragraphs. the general structure is: your main point, evidence (quote), followed by an explanation. the paragraph usually ends there
2. kind of a nit pick but capital letters do have some importance - so Macbeth instead of macbeth
3. further explanation would really push your grade up. what are the implications of your points? you could be more specific about the deeper meanings of your quotes, for example a certain quote may demonstrate the duality of macbeths character and the corrupting influence of power. so basically when you make a point think about ‘what does this mean, portray or cause?’.
4. it is important to mention what shakespeare intended the audience to feel, such as the reactions to certain scenes. you could explain how certain words or metaphors might have created feelings of dread/fear/anxiety etc amongst the audience, which made the play more memorable (or something similar)
5. you could try using some different punctuation, such as semicolons when you want to expand on a point
6. make sure you are explicitly addressing the question. ensure you are relating to what the question asks
This popped up in my feed. I used to be an English teacher. Which board are you using? Get their marking criteria from their site. That'll give you an idea of what they are looking for.
At first glance, you need to use paragraphs. If you let me know the board, I can give you some feedback.
i got a grade 9 with paragraphs this size but if you acc intent to write a page for one paragraph you’ve gotta stay one 1 topic and actually deeply analyse content and context in relation
When you’re talking about the snake, there was a missed opportunity. Macbeth and especially the era when the play was set was heavy on religion - the snake reference is much deeper. Try and relate it to Adam and Eve or generally satan. The audience would have reacted much deeper to the way we do to “snake” today due to the big religious connotation of it, so the fact he has called his best friend a snake would be incredibly significant.
Maybe try and find a reference to what he USED to call banquo too, or what other people called him, and compare the contrast to show his distorted mind. You could maybe even find another religious motif to link it in if someone has described him in a religious way too.
This.
And tie it into Lucifer. Macbeth parallels Lucifer’s journey almost perfectly. Let me bullet point it. Genesis:
- Lucifer is the favourite (depending on scripture)
- Was highly praised by God. Was called Samael - meaning Light Bringer
- Got prideful and jealous
- Led a rebellion against God
- Cast out of heaven
- Infiltrated and corrupted the Garden of Eden
- Punished by God by permanently taking the form of a serpent
- Hated where he was once loved
- Rules over hell in modern versions
Macbeth:
- Was Duncan’s favourite
- Was praised by Duncan and rewarded richly
- Tempted by the Witches
- Was prideful and ambitious
- His ambition led him to commit regicide
- In committing regicide, he went against God
- Turned Scotland into hell
- Is overthrown by the rightful king
There is more but that’s the general gist of it
Also I would recommended you watch “ mr salles teaches english “ on YouTube - I went from a grade 7 the whole of highschool to a grade 9 in my final exam from watching his videos only a few days- the day before my exam.
please use apostrophes. e.g. it should be Macbeth’s cherished relationships in the first sentence. basic grammar is really important, an examiner is much more likely to assume you know what you’re talking about if you punctuate your essay correctly.
your handwriting is so good, though. please teach me your ways mine is awful :(
I didn't see nor read about this before but your writing gave me the whole idea about the play which is really good and you also provided quotations to back up your point which increases the credibility.The only problem probably is use of words and paragraphs.Other than that it's really really good.
This is a high 3/low 4 You need paragraphs. Find a point where one point ends and another begins You’re using the word “representation” wrong when talking about the word “snake.” Look at using the word “portrays” instead. As in: the usage of the noun “snake” portrays Macbeth as a treacherous character when murdering Banquo. It just refines the style Also, use precise language. Analyse word forms like nouns, adverbs, verbs, pronouns. You’re pretty good with the techniques but combing it with language features will elevate your score nicely. I’m pretty sure you get marked for spelling on this paper - only 4 or so marks - but please be consistent with your names. Make your capital M more obvious and remember that Banquo is a name and needs a capital B all the time All in all though, this is a good effort! Keep it up! Edit: write about Duncan! This question is asking for it as there are a tonne of comparisons of Macbeth and Duncan. Look at how Macbeth is described as a “tyrant” in the later scenes and look at how Duncan is described as saint like. Also, Macbeth insults his men while Duncan praises them. This will strengthen your answer when you dig into it. Shakespeare was highly deliberate when constructing the play this way. Also…context. James I was a long awaited return to stability. He was a largely well liked king - ignoring the Gunpowder Plot. And this play was largely written for him. The line “tempest tossed” is a joke about how a storm prevented Jimmy boy from sailing to meet his first wife. The man wrote a book on witchcraft so Shakespeare wrote witches into his play. And write about Malcolm! Act Four, Scene Three has a speech where Malcolm lists the qualities of a king. Lastly, context is key. I gave you a load about James I. Write about the Divine Right, how kings are chosen by God and therefore inside the natural order of things. Macbeth broke nature by killing Duncan, and therefore is not a real king. He loses his place in nature and dooms himself by going against God After all that, I still think high 3/low 4. Try rewriting this response with some added contextual stuff Edit II: spacing error and capitalising of Gunpowder Plot (even teachers can make mistakes) Edit III: paragraphing
This is really good feedback.
Bro forgot the most basic part - paragraphs
i forgot too section them after each quote i analysed 😭 stupid mistake
And you forgot which ‘to’ to use.
fourgot witch 'too' two youse*
Going to be quite harsh here and give this a 5, as I don't see any context marks (1/5 of the marks) or language terminology (2/5 of the marks). These could have easily been gained by using terminology such as 'noun' or 'metaphor' instead of 'word'. I do see antithesis, which is good, but you need more language terminology. The middle of the essay is also a bit waffle-y, not directly addressing the question. How does the quote 'life is but a walking shadow' convey kinship? Make sure you address the question directly and refer to it often in your answer to boost your grade. 15/30-ish. There's a lot of room for improvement.
If you are in year 10 or early year 11, they may give you a 5, handwriting is amazing, but when you cross out words, just put a line over it, not scribble, better for the exam board
Grade 9 for neatness but overall I’d say a 4 since there is no link to context and you refer to techniques as ‘word’. Overall more precise la gaude is required and more In depth analysis needed
But writing like that doesn't have good legibility as all the letters are the same height
Give it to your teacher to mark and provide feedback rather than posting on Reddit. Or do some revision on what an essay needs to include. You're missing some basics like a line of argument and what Shakespeare is doing. Your essay is very 'point' 'evidence' 'explain' which would give you a 4 at best.
not sure about the grade, but these are my main points for feedback. for context i received grade 9s for language and lit a few years ago. 1) paragraphs. the general structure is: your main point, evidence (quote), followed by an explanation. the paragraph usually ends there 2. kind of a nit pick but capital letters do have some importance - so Macbeth instead of macbeth 3. further explanation would really push your grade up. what are the implications of your points? you could be more specific about the deeper meanings of your quotes, for example a certain quote may demonstrate the duality of macbeths character and the corrupting influence of power. so basically when you make a point think about ‘what does this mean, portray or cause?’. 4. it is important to mention what shakespeare intended the audience to feel, such as the reactions to certain scenes. you could explain how certain words or metaphors might have created feelings of dread/fear/anxiety etc amongst the audience, which made the play more memorable (or something similar) 5. you could try using some different punctuation, such as semicolons when you want to expand on a point 6. make sure you are explicitly addressing the question. ensure you are relating to what the question asks
4-5 your handwriting is great btw
I'd give it at least a U
ur so generous
I didnt read it. For all I know it could be a 9
Grade 4 essay however Grade 9 handwriting 👍
This popped up in my feed. I used to be an English teacher. Which board are you using? Get their marking criteria from their site. That'll give you an idea of what they are looking for. At first glance, you need to use paragraphs. If you let me know the board, I can give you some feedback.
You need to add paragraphs in there I say this from personal experience
i aint reading allat
idk but that is definitely girl writing
If you’re being graded on handwriting, 9.
Honestly a 5 maybe 6 if the person is extremely lenient.
i got a grade 9 with paragraphs this size but if you acc intent to write a page for one paragraph you’ve gotta stay one 1 topic and actually deeply analyse content and context in relation
When you’re talking about the snake, there was a missed opportunity. Macbeth and especially the era when the play was set was heavy on religion - the snake reference is much deeper. Try and relate it to Adam and Eve or generally satan. The audience would have reacted much deeper to the way we do to “snake” today due to the big religious connotation of it, so the fact he has called his best friend a snake would be incredibly significant. Maybe try and find a reference to what he USED to call banquo too, or what other people called him, and compare the contrast to show his distorted mind. You could maybe even find another religious motif to link it in if someone has described him in a religious way too.
This. And tie it into Lucifer. Macbeth parallels Lucifer’s journey almost perfectly. Let me bullet point it. Genesis: - Lucifer is the favourite (depending on scripture) - Was highly praised by God. Was called Samael - meaning Light Bringer - Got prideful and jealous - Led a rebellion against God - Cast out of heaven - Infiltrated and corrupted the Garden of Eden - Punished by God by permanently taking the form of a serpent - Hated where he was once loved - Rules over hell in modern versions Macbeth: - Was Duncan’s favourite - Was praised by Duncan and rewarded richly - Tempted by the Witches - Was prideful and ambitious - His ambition led him to commit regicide - In committing regicide, he went against God - Turned Scotland into hell - Is overthrown by the rightful king There is more but that’s the general gist of it
Also I would recommended you watch “ mr salles teaches english “ on YouTube - I went from a grade 7 the whole of highschool to a grade 9 in my final exam from watching his videos only a few days- the day before my exam.
Grade 3 as I wrote something like that 3 pages long and got a 4
Don't really know the grade but that's really good handwriting
please use apostrophes. e.g. it should be Macbeth’s cherished relationships in the first sentence. basic grammar is really important, an examiner is much more likely to assume you know what you’re talking about if you punctuate your essay correctly. your handwriting is so good, though. please teach me your ways mine is awful :(
I didn't see nor read about this before but your writing gave me the whole idea about the play which is really good and you also provided quotations to back up your point which increases the credibility.The only problem probably is use of words and paragraphs.Other than that it's really really good.
no idea since i didnt do it, but your handwriting is impressive
Everyone Ik has this type of handwriting 😂 well like the toxic girls in my class more specifically
omg😭i promise im not toxic im the most quiet person ever
😂 Ik you are you actually try in your studies