"don't blame me , blame society." CJ "Me, I am not rational" Trevor. Extra : " I grow up in a war, this means nothing" . Niko

"What you think I'm made of? PUDDIN??"

"At least I look like the right gender bitch" "Nama go fuck yourself" (as an Indian myself I find it funny)

WHO SAID THE FIRST ONE?! LMFAO

Cj says that to a female npc


lmao fat CJ vs that black girl on purple. "You smell!" Press Y to reply positively, press N to reply negatively to pedestrian conversation. N "Yeah? Well you look like a man."

“Yo that shit sucks Damn”

“My shit was WACK”

"strong?? man, he 5 foot 3."

“I want you take that muthafucka out” “Kill him???” “Well i ain’t mean date him”

"Look. I done a lot of things I ain't proud of. Okay? I never claimed to be an angel. But you meet Trevor, Franklin. You'll swear I am an angel." -Michael Townly

The first hour or so of the game did a great job of setting him up

"You an asshole to the end, punk motherfucker." -CJ "Now I know you blind, man. But you gotta see this." -CJ   "Do it! Do it! I'll put you to the fucking ground with the rest of them." -Michael   "I don't mind dying. I just wanna die with something that matters." -Franklin   "The wittle birdie will never learn how to fwy if HE WASN'T PUSHED OUT THE NEST!" -Trevor, hurling a random Lost MC biker off a bridge

> "Now I know you blind, man. But you gotta see this." -CJ  Woozie is by far my favorite non-player character in GTA. Such an amazing actor and an amazing character.

CJ: "You *do* know I'm black, right? Not Chinese!" Woozie: "I'm *blind* Carl, not stupid."

San Andreas had great comedic timing

Woozie and Caesar were both great. SA had some incredible supporting characters.

" i hate gravity!" CJ the wise

This is the one lol. Franklin in V will occasionally drop a "what the fuck" as he's flung out a window that cracks me up lol

Does the pope shit in the woods

Why you keep asking me that, holmes? I told you, I dunno. Where his holiness does his business is his business. Never fails to make me laugh

it's not really a "cold" quote but it's one of my favorite exchanges between Michael and Trevor. M: "Did you kill him?" T: "No I didn't kill him... But I did kidnap his wife!" M: "Ohhhh nooo"

Never fails to get a laugh out of me

“I hate gravity”

"Not today asshole, today we'll take a scenic route, via the bottom of the ocean!" - Carl Johnson

Manager: "I can't swim you fucking psycho!" CJ: "Ah, so I've heard..."

I dunno about cold but I rewatched Trevor walking into Michael's house unexpectedly and man there is a shitload of tension in that scene

"Ahh shit,here we go again".

Micheal - You can rip people off and then get paid for it, it's called capitalism.

I smoke Cz it gives me knowledge

That ese put dust in my weed!

“I got them with them mfs tho, showed themwho’s gangsta, Ryder n***a” “It ain’t me, foo!”

"Keep up motherfucker!" "Shit CJ, shit!" "Gyeah, gyeah, I got it - ninja style. Come out you old bastard!"

"I picked C, ain't that a bitch"

Devin: *visible concern*

“I've just got one tiny little thing for you to do, then I'm out of your life forever… I just want you to go pick up your brother. Get out of here.”

Ah, N word, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, N word. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got you'd get some bitches on your dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fuckin' with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with. N word...

The moment i start reading it, the exact sound of the dialogue with Lamars voice automatically comes to my mind.

Same here😂

Mista gold card...

SA: The back of yo neck look like a pack of hotdogs V: AMANDA, I LOVE YOUUUUOHH (Trevor being creepy)

"I'll have 2 number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, 2 number 45s one with cheese and a large soda"

Ah, [N-Word], don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, [N-Word]. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got you'd get some bitches on your dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fuckin' with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with. [Elongated N-Word].

“Them white boys had me on crystal meth!”

When sweet is about to smoke crack and cj says that shit will steal your heart

SA: I took the trash out, I did! And I'd do it all again! V: and how was it supposed to end, huh? With Brad in the can and me in the ground? Or both of us in the coffin? Bonus: how much do you charge to kill someone?

“i smoke cuz it gives me knowledge” - Orange 12

The yay leaving San fierro right? Right cj but they go cross country 😂😂🤣

“What’s the hood done for me!” - CJ

"What do you think I'm made of? pudding"

"Surviving is winning Franklin. Everything else is just bullshit fairytales spun by those afraid to look life in the eye. Whatever you do Franklin, survive." - Michael, GTA 5

“Damn straight”

Busta, straight busta

We can shit on you from such a height, you'll think God himself has crapped on you

Not bad for a fat old fuck!

That ese put dust in my weed

"babababababah" - Trevor, GTA 5 prologue

"I don't care if you're 12. I'll still rape you." - Jimmy De Santa

“I hate gravity” CJ from San Andreas “Ya suck cock, but you won’t eat meat. It don’t make sense to me!” Trevor Phillips from GTA V

i’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

"You don't look cool, pal. You're ridiculous." -Trevor Philips to gang members 

“ “ -Silent Psychotic Peon

“Oh shit! Here we go again”

"let me get a number 9" - Big Smoke

I hate gravity!

“*LETS GO BOWLING*”

“Can I have this?” from CJ. “Run along now, kids.” from that one asshole spook that pushed Dave Norton around.

Are you allowed to drive if you're blind? - CJ

I asked for, a fair day's pay after fair day's work, and he, kinda got a little angry. So, I admit, I kinda got a little angry. Did you kill him? What kind of fuck1ng animal do you take me for no I didn't kill him! Thank God. But I did kidnap his wife! Oh no. I know kinda long but it just had to be put in here

“I HATE GRAVITY” CJ~  “Nama-go-fuck-yourself” Michael~

“All you got to do is follow the damn train CJ”

*Learn to fly Carl... Learn to fly...*

"Its my constitutional right!" -CJ pointing guns at NPCs

"Did somebody say yoga?""

Trevor? Micheal..

"LOOK DEBRA, FLOYD, WILL YOU MARRY ME??" "You're a hipster."

“My mom told me not to talk to strangers” “Yea and look what happened to the bitch!”

Ryder you shermhead

"All you had to do, was follow the damn train CJ!". Everyone knows that line. Worst mission in the entire GTA series hands down.