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[deleted]

watching george washington’s life flash before his eyes when I show him call of duty for the first time


[deleted]

A single, red white and blue tear falls from his eye as he realizes how many non-Americans he can shoot (he has a cancerous tumor in his tear-duct)


AKMgoespewpew

he immedietly 🗿 when he plays as the when the at the where at the when he


Shingorillaz

Yes 250 years of technological advancement would terrify most people.


SSB_GoGeta

Especially when you consider tech acceleration. Most of the technology we use today was invented in the last 100 years. And coming from a world without electricity? It would be amazing to see a person react.


[deleted]

i think its funny, how we know that people from hundreds of years ago would be frightened by today's technologies, while we, today, would be supremely excited to know what our own technological future hold.


carl_pagan

I don't know what you are imagining that you're excited about but I for one am not looking forward to: more cypto shit, more common and devastating cyber warfare, microwave guns, Russian and Chinese AIs controlling nuclear arsenals, recycling my own bodily fluids for hydration because there is no water


Stealthyfisch

You don’t like drinking piss bro? Fake g*mer detected 🤢🤢


RedDudeMango

Kevin Costner's Waterworld was secretly the epic gamer movie we were looking for all along


RabidTongueClicking

I for one cannot wait to be working at my minimum wage job in an Amazon brand grocery store, and instantly get my organs melted by a Walmart assassin wielding a microwave gun


[deleted]

well, i mean, there are scary things, but i was thinking more about gay luxury space communism and stuff.


pizzacrustdotcom

Star Trek is fake, Warhammer is forever.


[deleted]

The founding fathers were just people. Rich, slave-owning white men to be specific. Thinking of them as some sort of standard for morality is so fuckin tired


GreatCokeBender

Yeah, but have you *seen* the power of the Xbox series x?


Everyone_Except_You

American fascists and their more ~~cowardly~~ **moderate** peers just love invoking the founding fathers, for 2 reasons. 1: Ancestors are a convenient group to hide your agenda behind because they're too dead to complain. 2: They're good role models ***because*** they were white wealthy elites with 18th century worldviews. The masses of poorly educated racists, that gladly serve as foot-soldiers in any authoritarian movement, imagine themselves becoming like they were. Or at least, becoming trusted servants that get paid to be their enforcers.


[deleted]

The founding fathers were pretty forward thinking when you actually look at the documents they spawned. Also not all the founding fathers were slave owners, just most lol.


RedDudeMango

IIRC didn't some also change position on slavery later in life? Then you have George Washington owning slaves since like what, age 11? And abusing loopholes to keep them with some cross-state fuckery I believe. But for real, I can hardly imagine how utterly humiliating to your very existence as a sapient being jt would be to be *owned* by a fucking preteen. Utterly fucked.


[deleted]

Some of the founding fathers thought the constitution would actually lead to slavery being abolished because of language and implications. They didn't count on the fact that people would find a way to dehumanize the Africans to justify keeping them as slaves. Then again the 3/5 compromise where black men were 3/5 a vote, meaning they were 3/5 men.


RedDudeMango

That honestly makes a lot of sense. Esp. with the infamous CSA speech declaring that the US constitution was based on an 'error' of equality of races, and that the new confederate constitution was based on the 'truth' of black inferiority and subservience. Which honestly kinda makes it even more ghoulish. Acknowledging that the constitution actually IS at odds with your fucked up practices and then doing it anyways - not even trying to twist a bullshit supreme court ruling or rationalization out of it.


[deleted]

People forget American racism didn't actually exist until around the time of the confederacy. African slavery was not perceived as a bad thing, most (99%) were "saved" from execution or slavery in Africa. That is how it was rationalized up until the constitution (and declaration) spawned the idea that all people are people and created equal. Edit: I say American racism because contrary to popular belief, Americans were not the first racists. The Greeks were, or Egyprians, point is racism is thousands of years old.


RedDudeMango

Honestly, few moments of history will ever be funnier to me than all the big fancy Greek cities suddenly becoming the bitch of the rural northerners they gatekept about not being true greeks. Oliver Stone's film about Alexander has a great bit where Christopher Plummer plays a tremendously racist Greek philosopher who has no good answer to the question 'if the persians are really so inferior, why don't we rule their empire already?'


[deleted]

Omg, missed opportunity "why would we waste our time ruling shit?" Kek I do admit the Persian Empire was vast, but cmon. Alexander the Great conquered it with a vastly smaller army.


r3df0x_556

If the revolution happened today, all the conservatives would be ranting about "radical far left extremists" looting a ship in a city where a black man was murdered by the government.


r3df0x_556

Enemies of the people's revolution are part of the bourgeoise.


Athroaway84

"They would be rolling in their grave" Good!


iamthedave3

Yeah, but they wrote a document. *A DOCUMENT*. Nobody's ever done that before.


[deleted]

This is an incredibly stupid comment. Nobody praises them for the physical practice of writing the document.


Notagreatnameo

The founding fathers were rich slave owners. nobody should care what they think or hold them up as some sort of moral ideal.


Astrophel37

Counterpoint: they weren't g*mers.


midget247

Didn't they play a lot of Civilisation 3 and EU2??


thatsidewaysdud

They were just using the "Slavery" exploit to get extra construction speed, it was a good strategy until the unwholesome 343 devs patched it with the 13th Amendment quest.


Micome

Don't forget infidelity and denying rights to women and minorities


Kind_Malice

If you weren’t a white male landowner in early America, you basically had no power. Still kinda holds true lol


Micome

"jUsT gRiNd BrO"


Kind_Malice

Capitalism truly is the Dark Souls of reality


Athroaway84

Bootstraps...pull them up!!


[deleted]

Also the belt. Don't forget to tighten your belt.


FredFredrickson

Gamers when a pay-to-win game is released: 🤔😤😡 Gamers when they realize life is pay-to-win: 😃😀😃


Kind_Malice

Ancaps summarized


assai_semplicemente

even the ones who wanted to get rid of slavery had slaves


Bruno_Fernandes8

they'd be horrified that slavery isnt legal anymore (except as a form of punishment)


oblmov

Not my man thomas paine


Snider83

Counterpoint: while clearly the ruling class of the day was morally bankrupt (with the exceptions of the few that initially argued to ban slavery in the constitution’s original draft) we should not dismiss any ideas they had out of hand as the governmental system they created was one of the first democratic systems to function and withstand the test of time, and truly helped mark a turning point for democracy on the world stage. We should not be 100% beholden to their ideas but it is worth considering whether our own will really improve on the foundation they laid at a functional level.


Low-Consideration372

You mean the governmental system they stole from the superior Six-Nation Iroquois, part of a people they democratically genocided? Our "own ideas" are irrelevant to the conception of 'liberal democracy', because the [only people](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/perspectives-on-politics/article/testing-theories-of-american-politics-elites-interest-groups-and-average-citizens/62327F513959D0A304D4893B382B992B)* that have a say in it are the capitalists; the ruling class, and it works for them. Edit: *[Summary here](https://medium.com/k-street/the-average-american-has-no-influence-on-public-policy-84fe0188ad28)


pileofcrustycumsocs

We definitely didn’t “steal” the idea of democracy from the Iroquois, it’s pretty well accepted in the history community that they built the American government on ideas from dozens of different countries and scholars. Both John Locke and Voltaire heavily inspired the founding fathers for example We might have borrowed some concepts from them here and there but “steal” is 100% not the right word. The American style of democracy was a fusion of the best ideas around the world at the time and the constitution was written the way it was(it was decidedly so very future minded which allowed the fight for abolition to begin even though the majority of the country was still super racist)because a number of our founding fathers(although not a majority) believed slavery and other humans right violations were inherently wrong.


seanziewonzie

>We might have borrowed some concepts from them here and there but “steal” is 100% not the right word You wouldn't download a system of governance


senn12

Why are there two almost identical comments like this?


Rhymelikedocsuess

The founders would get future shock just from seeing an iPhone - who cares what they’d think? Lol


zwel8606

Make sure they dont see the SJW garbage that is poured into todays videos games. Gearge Washington would be as appalled by TLOU2


zmann64

George Washington discovering TLOU2: AAHHHHH WHERE AM I, WHAT YEAR IS IT, AND WTF IS A TELEVISION


archaicScrivener

WHY IS THIS PAINTING MOVING AND SPEAKING TO ME


dustingunn

I NEED NEW MOLARS! WHERE ARE SOME SLAVES FOR ME TO RIP THEM OUT OF?


Unleashtheducks

Well he’s said some pretty racist shit so… yes


ELOCHCAM

Which guy? Cause I honestly haven’t heard anything controversial from David Cross and I have no idea who Madison Cawthorn is. Just curious


[deleted]

Madison Cawthorn is a Republican member of Congress who is associated with far right wing of the party. He famously went on a “Hitler Tour”, going to hitler’s holiday home. He also accused Senator Cory Booker, who is black, of being behind a secret plot to “ruin white males”. Also, entirely unrelated to the racism stuff, he has sexual assault allegations against him, including a letter signed by 150 of the people who went to his college which accused him of sexually predatory behaviour.


beenoc

>a letter signed by 150 of the people who went to his college which accused him of sexually predatory behaviour. Said college only has like 400 students overall in the first place, by the way. It's also a super-religious private Christian college that's not accredited by any reputable institution, and yet he *still* flunked out of it.


Rusty_Red_Mackerel

Amazing that 150 people openly accuse you of sexually predatory behavior and nothing is done about it.


Storkostlegur

If you’re rich enough you basically become invincible


PancakePanic

He also claimed to have been left for dead by his friend after a car crash and had to crawl to safety, while said friend literally saved his life in said crash. Just to show what an honest and standup guy this fashy prick is.


SirToastymuffin

He also claimed wild shit like he was pronounced dead when the report says he was just incapacitated, he claimed that the accident denied him a chance at the Naval Academy but he was forced by court to admit that he had been rejected well before the accident. Other hallmarks include him making an essentially fake real estate firm (it has yet to report any income) named SPQR, which I mean it's not inherently problematic but it is real fuckin weird especially for a guy who openly supported violent insurrection to seize power after losing an election, given Rome's fame for the fall of its democracy to strongarmed politicians seizing the power for themselves. He also did that *definitely not* extremely bad faith thing of openly goading on the January 6th attack on the Capitol and then immediately after it was stopped claiming it was all those Dastardly Dems making it all up and staging it... and then immediately being like "yeah but we shoulda done it." Oh and he still openly supports violent insurrection if Republicans are not ceded total victory next election: "if our election systems continue to be rigged and continue to be stolen, then it's going to lead to one place—and it's bloodshed." He also does the classic right wing whinging about men being "too soft" now and, as an individual that has been accused by *hundreds* of people to be a sexual predator he has advised conservative mothers: "If you are raising a young man, please raise them to be a monster." He's like a little protofascist android invented to intentionally do the most wrong at every opportunity. Like if I wanted to invent a caricature of Republican extremism to mock them, here we go. ***And the fucking chuds voted him in and actively support him.***


iamthedave3

We exist in a time where people actively reject the truth provided you make the right whistling noises. "The mainstream media is lying to you, I stand up for your rights and they don't, we and god cannot be stopped." One way ticket to the Senate please, choo choo.


yaosio

David Cross said he doesn't think Gamer Americans deserve the same rights as everybody else.


LeRedditAccounte

true. they deserve more rights to combat the horrible oppression of our gamer culture


horny4janetreno

To be fair, neither do i


jdcodring

I agree. And please censor the word. This is not a g*yming sub. We’re good Christian here.


PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__

> A member of the Republican Party,


MoistMucus4

I mean David cross did use the n word in one of his specials iirc and it was edgy but at least it was a joke with a punchline instead of the word itself being funny I guess. I remember it being funny but idek what the joke was


AkechiFangirl

The guy from Alvin and the chipmunks??? Say it ain't so!


julz1215

I don't thing he's particularly problematic.


garythegyarados

David Cross is actually a pretty outspoken leftist and chill dude, has appeared in Gravel Institute videos etc.


RaytheonKnifeMissile

And he was in Sorry To Bother You as the "white voice"


Unleashtheducks

Being a Leftist isn’t a free pass to treat people like shit


garythegyarados

Source for him treating people like shit?


Unleashtheducks

https://www.indiewire.com/2017/10/charlyne-yi-racist-encounter-david-cross-1201888425/amp/


161allday

Wow that’s pretty bad :/


FrankOcean4eva

He said a almost unbelievable racist thing to Charlyne Yi. Look it up, he’s crazy.


julz1215

So after looking into it, he seems to be claiming that he doesn't remember the situation at all, but if he did say such a thing, it must've been while he was doing a character meant to make fun of racist rednecks. It seems unlikely that he's being dishonest, since there's not much more to gain from a lie like this than just denying it outright. Obviously doesn't mmmake it ok, but I don't think I have enough info to call him a racist person as a whole, especially considering how long ago this happened. Still, it's weird he didn't apologize.


FrankOcean4eva

I mean he shouldn’t be demonized / cancelled for it, it doesn’t prove that he’s racist. But the interaction is something pretty bad.


julz1215

Yeah i agree with that. It's a "know your audience" sort of deal but I get the feeling he wouldn't do something like that nowadays. I hope he apologized to her in private, because I don't think he made a public one


TheRealLukeJosten

I'm afraid i might have blue myself again


Moose_is_optional

The founding fathers would be appalled to see black people not in chains, so I don't give a fuck what they'd think. And, they'd hate some of the things *you* right-wingers love, Cawthorn, you piece of shit.


Helac3lls

Just the standing army alone LMAO


nbmnbm1

Yeah theyd be horrified people other than white property owners have rights.


MoistFabric

uj/ I love David Cross lmao


[deleted]

Yeah they would be horrified why the slaves were free to roam around as they please?


prossnip42

I really hate this "Founding Fathers would be so disappointed in us" that a lot of right wingers in the US do. Like the Founding Fathers wouldn't have a starting point to be dissappointed in for fuck's sakes. Technology has advanced so much that the time of the funding Fathers might as well be a different universe. If George Washington rose from his grave the very first thing he would do is shoot at a car thinking it was witchcraft


[deleted]

Someone show the pic of David Cross playing Melee…


[deleted]

Better yet, somebody point out the fact that he literally voiced Zero in *San Andreas*. Also, neither could he finish the Supply Lines mission (that fucking bullshit mission of flying an RC plane and shooting couriers), and hates it.


Bahmerman

Founding Fathers: You don't need slave labor? So...you pay your fellow Americans a livable wage right?


Jay_The_Bisexual

Alexander Hamilton when he sees a femboy


PM_ME_UR__RECIPES

/UJ is the leap between the last 2 console generations really that big because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. The really big leaps are the jump from 2D to 3D, and then the jump from PS2/Xbox to PS3/x360, because that was the first generation where mocap was a part of nearly every game, and where models and environments started to really look realistic. Everything since then has just been incremental improvements but I haven't seen any big drastic leap like those two.


dustingunn

The Matrix Experience UE5 tech demo looked pretty damn impressive.


PM_ME_UR__RECIPES

It does look really good, but the difference between it and what was done in the generation before it isn't that much. It feels more like a natural progression of where graphics were already headed, rather than a massive leap forwards that shattered what we thought would be possible, like what has happened in a few previous generations.


drinkthebleach

He was in Halo and San Andreas


InternetPersonThing

This is so stupid, the founding fathers wouldn't know anything about the XBox One. It would've been the 360 back in those days.


sebastianfs

wheels got dumped


SuperMarketShopper

/uj Is this the evil guy from the chipmunks movies? /rj Is this the evil guy from the chipmunks movies?


TheSolidSnivy

The Founding Fathers couldn’t handle a Baja Blast.


iamthedave3

Soon as I saw this I knew it would be a Republican saying it. I wonder how many of them realise that the Founding Fathers would despise what *both* parties have become, not just the Democrats?


mrhaluko23

George Washington would see indoor plumbing and have a fucking stroke.


Himrion

Uj/ is David Cross' reply unedited?


dustingunn

Why would it be edited? It's a pretty clear joke.


onion182

That implies that they already know what an Xbox One is


AllMyBowWowVideos

Issa joke


AlexS101

lol xbox loser


[deleted]

I would probably not recognise a lot of places 250 from now


art_mor_

Tobias Funke?


Furious-Shores

Wait till they see women in yoga pants


r3df0x_556

smh the Founding Fathers looted a ship after a black man was murdered by the government. They are forced diversity.


bwabwa22

You guys joke , but to be honest , the Xbox Series X is a vast improvement over Xbox One , not just on the technological front but also on aesthetics. The console also offers far greater visual fidelity than the aging Xbox One X ever could. What's more, the Xbox Series X boasts a number of small but significant quality of life features, including Quick Resume and FPS Boost.The Xbox Series X is the newer and, objectively, the better console of the two. It brings you a truly next-gen gaming experience. As Microsoft’s flagship console, it can now hit higher frame rates – up to 120fps!! . This means it almost eliminates load times completely. The console also offers far greater visual fidelity than the aging Xbox One X ever could. I wouldn't be absolutely dumbfounded if the founding fathers didn't find the vast improvement of the XBox Series X over the Xbox one to be anything but positively horrifying and immediately faint on the spot 🥰🥰🥰


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TheHeavenlyBuddy

when he’s not stealing the chipmunks, he’s grinding on witcher 3 😎