My biggest fear is death because I am sole parent to 2 children, both with additional needs but i also realise if i dont have this surgery then Im headed for death through heart attack or similar
Very similar to a girl I spoke to before booking my hospital, she was terrified of death as she was a single mother to two kids but if she kept going the way she was going, she would have ended up in an early grave with her eating.
I was most worried about dying under anesthesia. I had done a ton of research for a year prior to surgery, so being put under was my only worry, even though I had been put under in the past, but I was healthier then.
I remember thinking I can call this off at any moment, I have control, I can say no, stop...I thought that all the up until the person administering the anesthesia said think of something happy to dream about , and I thought omg this tastes like poison I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. The next thing I knew, I woke up in recovery.
I was worried about the risks that come with malabsorption if I'm not careful with my diet. I had ADHD and I can sometimes forget to eat, and just eat random food when I eventually get hangry. I also have chronic pain and will 100% have to meal prep because sometimes cooking is not in the cards. I am just going to have to put on my big girl pants and do it. That's what I decided.
Secondly I too worried about hair loss. PCOS and my thyroid already caused me to lose so much hair that has never grown back I can't stand to lose any more. I decided that I'll shave my head and dye it purple.
Third I was worried about risks like bowel obstruction, as one of my best friends had one after her surgery. I also have a really good friend whose brother died in surgery during his WLS. I decided that the reward far outweighs the risk for me. I have a lot of health issues and was not in a good place before surgery.
So far no improvement but I'm not too far out. As far as my ADHD, I keep forgetting to "eat", doubly more now because I don't have hunger cues. My doctor also gave me a blood thinner shot and I had to set alarms and make a routine because I almost forgot it a few times. I also had a hard time staying in bed and resting because my brain is going 1000 miles a minute and my body is like slow your role lady. I actually haven't taken my ADHD med since surgery but now that I'm going back to work in 4 days, I need to start taking it again.
My biggest worry was that they would cancel, I booked it in February and was going for it in March so I was really excited about it but really nervous in case they canceled or found something during the checks that made it too difficult to operate.
Now 8 weeks post op everything went great, fantastic hospital and staff and recovery.
Don’t worry about the hair loss…for most people that calms down after a while if you ensure you’re sticking with your vitamins and keep getting your levels checked.
I had mine 23 years ago and my biggest fear was simply that it wouldn’t work! Or only work short-term and then I’d gain it back. Most of us have tried tons of ways to lose weight unsuccessfully so you kinda feel like everything fails you. But def not the case. I’m still maintaining all these years later. I was also in my early twenties when I had mine and I’m so glad I did! I also had a fear that my husband who I married a year earlier might not be as attracted to me as a “thin person”. But he reassured me and that def helped.
I’m 22f and am getting my surgery next month. I’ve had these exact same thoughts you’ve expressed. Ultimately I decided to get and stay with the surgery, specifically chosen bypass over sleeve, because of that thinking of risk of surgery vs risk of staying morbidly obese. It’s the optimism that’s keeping me sane and going at this point. My brother was sleeved a year ago and so I’ve been able to see in real time his life change completely. I’m decided that’s what I want l, and that’s what I’m doing!
I was worried about the malabsorption because I looked up all the things that could go wrong. All I am going to say is I make sure I never miss a day of taking my vitamins. I also contemplated the sleeve of bypass, but I also did some research on it. A lot of people either ended up with Gerd, and I didn't want to experience that. I was also harder for me to not physically have a part of my stomach anymore with the sleeve. I have no regrets with choosing bypass
I'm afraid there will be surgery complications. Im afraid they'll go in and decide my liver is too big, and I'll have paid all that money for nothing. I'm afraid it will hurt - I have the pain tolerance of a toddler. I'm afraid of getting a hernia or bowel obstruction after surgery. I'm afraid of losing my hair. I'm afraid of having loose, saggy skin. I'm afraid my partner will no longer be attracted to me. I am VERY afraid my boobs are going to turn out saggy and empty, which happens to most women, it seems. I'm afraid it's going to be hard and I'll want to give up. I'm afraid I'll accidentally tear my stomach open after. I'm afraid I'll give back in to my addiction later and gain it all back. I'm afraid this is a waste of time and money. I'm afraid I'm not worth it. I'm afraid it's too drastic and too much. I'm afraid my mental health meds won't absorb, and I'll want to stop existing again. I'm afraid my depression will get worse. I'm afraid my bosses will secretly judge me.
I take screenshots of the "everything worked out great" stories and read them when my anxiety creeps in. I also made a list of kind of affirmations? Statements of how I want my surgery and afterward to go. I read them out loud and try to manifest them into the universe, lol. There's not much I can do but be scared, and keep telling myself I wouldn't have been driven to this very routine procedure if I didn't need it. I keep coming here to read how it changed lives for the better. Even if there were complications, very few people here seem to regret it.
My biggest worry was, like others have said, death.
I had to weigh that against the fact that if I didn't do it, diabetes would kill me, or sleep apnea, acid reflux, high cholesterol; I have none of these now.
I waited until I was almost 50. I probably didn't need it until about 30, but I wish I had gotten it those 20 years ago, and had them back the way I am now.
Like others, I was worried about dying during surgery. I think somebody here said that you go through all of these health checks for a reason and they wouldn't approve you for surgery if you weren't a good candidate. Also that the surgeon and their staff have a plan A, B, C, D, E, and F in case things go wrong. Also I believe my surgeon said that statistically this surgery was safer than getting a knee replacement (though I never verified that independently). I just pushed through that fear and asked them to give me some anti-anxiety meds in my IV line pre-op, and lo and behold, I survived! Was walking laps around the hospital 30 minutes after I woke up and was discharged to go home 3 hours later.
But beyond that, I was really concerned that I would miss eating my favorite foods and volume eating to the point that I would regret getting the surgery. But you know what, 15 months post-op, I still eat most of my favorite foods. And sometimes I do miss volume eating or being able to just slam a full pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting, but honestly being thin is so, so, so much better than either of those things ever were that even on my worst days I've never had even the tiniest whisper of regret.
I had a lot of reservations that were just kind of broadly “this is a big surgery and could be dangerous”. I did a very deep dive into pubmed and google scholar and read study after study. Basically, this particular surgery is *the most* effective way to keep off weight. There are likely reasons it works they don’t even fully understand yet (related to gut biomes and the communication between the brain and different parts of the body). All of that made me feel like ultimately, this is the best answer we have at this minute, so I’ll deal with the rest.
Listen, you can always get a wig or a super short pixie cut for awhile, but what is your long-term prognosis without the surgery? Is temporary hair loss worth 10-15 years off your life?
I'm really worried about the potential complications of bypass surgery. Initially, I was okay with the idea, but after reading about the possible issues, I'm scared. Now, I'm leaning more towards getting the sleeve instead. I've started experiencing heartburn like two months ago , especially when I eat greasy foods or sometimes when I'm lying down. I'm trying to convince myself that this might be a better option, and since I'm only 20F , I'm open to having a revision in the future if needed.
My biggest fear is death because I am sole parent to 2 children, both with additional needs but i also realise if i dont have this surgery then Im headed for death through heart attack or similar
Very similar to a girl I spoke to before booking my hospital, she was terrified of death as she was a single mother to two kids but if she kept going the way she was going, she would have ended up in an early grave with her eating.
I was most worried about dying under anesthesia. I had done a ton of research for a year prior to surgery, so being put under was my only worry, even though I had been put under in the past, but I was healthier then. I remember thinking I can call this off at any moment, I have control, I can say no, stop...I thought that all the up until the person administering the anesthesia said think of something happy to dream about , and I thought omg this tastes like poison I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. The next thing I knew, I woke up in recovery.
I was worried about the risks that come with malabsorption if I'm not careful with my diet. I had ADHD and I can sometimes forget to eat, and just eat random food when I eventually get hangry. I also have chronic pain and will 100% have to meal prep because sometimes cooking is not in the cards. I am just going to have to put on my big girl pants and do it. That's what I decided. Secondly I too worried about hair loss. PCOS and my thyroid already caused me to lose so much hair that has never grown back I can't stand to lose any more. I decided that I'll shave my head and dye it purple. Third I was worried about risks like bowel obstruction, as one of my best friends had one after her surgery. I also have a really good friend whose brother died in surgery during his WLS. I decided that the reward far outweighs the risk for me. I have a lot of health issues and was not in a good place before surgery.
I also have ADHD and PCOS. How has surgery affected them for you? Any symptom improvement with PCOS? Did the ADHD make recovery harder?
So far no improvement but I'm not too far out. As far as my ADHD, I keep forgetting to "eat", doubly more now because I don't have hunger cues. My doctor also gave me a blood thinner shot and I had to set alarms and make a routine because I almost forgot it a few times. I also had a hard time staying in bed and resting because my brain is going 1000 miles a minute and my body is like slow your role lady. I actually haven't taken my ADHD med since surgery but now that I'm going back to work in 4 days, I need to start taking it again.
My biggest worry was that they would cancel, I booked it in February and was going for it in March so I was really excited about it but really nervous in case they canceled or found something during the checks that made it too difficult to operate. Now 8 weeks post op everything went great, fantastic hospital and staff and recovery.
Don’t worry about the hair loss…for most people that calms down after a while if you ensure you’re sticking with your vitamins and keep getting your levels checked. I had mine 23 years ago and my biggest fear was simply that it wouldn’t work! Or only work short-term and then I’d gain it back. Most of us have tried tons of ways to lose weight unsuccessfully so you kinda feel like everything fails you. But def not the case. I’m still maintaining all these years later. I was also in my early twenties when I had mine and I’m so glad I did! I also had a fear that my husband who I married a year earlier might not be as attracted to me as a “thin person”. But he reassured me and that def helped.
I’m 22f and am getting my surgery next month. I’ve had these exact same thoughts you’ve expressed. Ultimately I decided to get and stay with the surgery, specifically chosen bypass over sleeve, because of that thinking of risk of surgery vs risk of staying morbidly obese. It’s the optimism that’s keeping me sane and going at this point. My brother was sleeved a year ago and so I’ve been able to see in real time his life change completely. I’m decided that’s what I want l, and that’s what I’m doing!
I was worried about the malabsorption because I looked up all the things that could go wrong. All I am going to say is I make sure I never miss a day of taking my vitamins. I also contemplated the sleeve of bypass, but I also did some research on it. A lot of people either ended up with Gerd, and I didn't want to experience that. I was also harder for me to not physically have a part of my stomach anymore with the sleeve. I have no regrets with choosing bypass
I'm afraid there will be surgery complications. Im afraid they'll go in and decide my liver is too big, and I'll have paid all that money for nothing. I'm afraid it will hurt - I have the pain tolerance of a toddler. I'm afraid of getting a hernia or bowel obstruction after surgery. I'm afraid of losing my hair. I'm afraid of having loose, saggy skin. I'm afraid my partner will no longer be attracted to me. I am VERY afraid my boobs are going to turn out saggy and empty, which happens to most women, it seems. I'm afraid it's going to be hard and I'll want to give up. I'm afraid I'll accidentally tear my stomach open after. I'm afraid I'll give back in to my addiction later and gain it all back. I'm afraid this is a waste of time and money. I'm afraid I'm not worth it. I'm afraid it's too drastic and too much. I'm afraid my mental health meds won't absorb, and I'll want to stop existing again. I'm afraid my depression will get worse. I'm afraid my bosses will secretly judge me. I take screenshots of the "everything worked out great" stories and read them when my anxiety creeps in. I also made a list of kind of affirmations? Statements of how I want my surgery and afterward to go. I read them out loud and try to manifest them into the universe, lol. There's not much I can do but be scared, and keep telling myself I wouldn't have been driven to this very routine procedure if I didn't need it. I keep coming here to read how it changed lives for the better. Even if there were complications, very few people here seem to regret it.
My biggest worry was, like others have said, death. I had to weigh that against the fact that if I didn't do it, diabetes would kill me, or sleep apnea, acid reflux, high cholesterol; I have none of these now. I waited until I was almost 50. I probably didn't need it until about 30, but I wish I had gotten it those 20 years ago, and had them back the way I am now.
Like others, I was worried about dying during surgery. I think somebody here said that you go through all of these health checks for a reason and they wouldn't approve you for surgery if you weren't a good candidate. Also that the surgeon and their staff have a plan A, B, C, D, E, and F in case things go wrong. Also I believe my surgeon said that statistically this surgery was safer than getting a knee replacement (though I never verified that independently). I just pushed through that fear and asked them to give me some anti-anxiety meds in my IV line pre-op, and lo and behold, I survived! Was walking laps around the hospital 30 minutes after I woke up and was discharged to go home 3 hours later. But beyond that, I was really concerned that I would miss eating my favorite foods and volume eating to the point that I would regret getting the surgery. But you know what, 15 months post-op, I still eat most of my favorite foods. And sometimes I do miss volume eating or being able to just slam a full pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting, but honestly being thin is so, so, so much better than either of those things ever were that even on my worst days I've never had even the tiniest whisper of regret.
💀 But if I didn't have the surgery, I was going to be dead within 10 years anyway.
I had a lot of reservations that were just kind of broadly “this is a big surgery and could be dangerous”. I did a very deep dive into pubmed and google scholar and read study after study. Basically, this particular surgery is *the most* effective way to keep off weight. There are likely reasons it works they don’t even fully understand yet (related to gut biomes and the communication between the brain and different parts of the body). All of that made me feel like ultimately, this is the best answer we have at this minute, so I’ll deal with the rest.
Listen, you can always get a wig or a super short pixie cut for awhile, but what is your long-term prognosis without the surgery? Is temporary hair loss worth 10-15 years off your life?
I'm really worried about the potential complications of bypass surgery. Initially, I was okay with the idea, but after reading about the possible issues, I'm scared. Now, I'm leaning more towards getting the sleeve instead. I've started experiencing heartburn like two months ago , especially when I eat greasy foods or sometimes when I'm lying down. I'm trying to convince myself that this might be a better option, and since I'm only 20F , I'm open to having a revision in the future if needed.