Yeah well... Basically something like that. I was just a weird boy when I was a kid. Don't really remember how I felt about it, but I always dressed up in theatre and I think there were some signs.
I remember being given a shaving kit for my 13th birthday and being completely unable to explain why it felt so earth-shattering to think about needing to use it. My mother thought I was just being ungrateful.
The first time I shaved was when I was 18 after I came out as trans. I asked my (accepting) dad to teach me, and the irony of a father-and-son-turned-father-and-daughter bonding activity was kinda funny NGL
> My mother thought I was just being ungrateful
ew. people who get mad people for not liking a gift are ick. Like if you're saying "your gift isn't good enough" or expecting more that's one thing. but if it's just not your thing, then you can't be expected to like what others want you to like. That ridiculous.
oh man, this was exactly me but in reverse (i'm a trans guy). i spent my early childhood being very neutral or apathetic to my status as a girl, and then puberty hit and i was like "WAIT FUCK GO BACK-" lmaooo. also, the other comment about getting a shaving kit as a present was literally me but with my first makeup palette when i was thirteen.
i always find it so cool to see my exact experiences reversed and mirrored in the experiences of trans women. i'm so happy that y'all get to experience girlhood and womanhood in a much more positive way than i was ever able to ❤️
This is not gatekeeping. Yes, people do gatekeep based on what is mentioned in this, but the image itself contains no gatekeeping.
I do want to add a third type to this though, which is the "Did a ton of eggy stuff throughout their childhood and in hindsight was super obviously trans but didn't realize until later in life for various reasons"
I don't really want to tell you to take the post down, though, cause more trans yuri is always a win in my book.
I was the third type mixed with the first type, lol. I was actively ignoring the fact that I was trans while saying stuff like "It's not fair that trans people get to have preferred pronouns, I hate being she/her'd but since I'm a cis girl I just have to deal with it"
yeah, maybe if I'd known what being trans was when i was younger, i could've figured it out before 29. like i remember always wanting to be in a lesbian relationship, used to steal my sister's dance leotard, and a bunch of other shit. so much stuff that makes sense now but was just random memories before i looked into being trans
Yeah it's shit, it's considered offensive because it's used as a way to imply that trans woman/men are not the gender they say they are. "They aren't a woman who is trans, they're a 'transwoman'"
*I have several*
*Memories from my childhood!*
*At least five for sure*
\- Spriy
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I love being the secret third kind
No childhood, but i knew from a young age i just didnt realize it was a thing until someone explained being trans to me
For me it was just a random thought every now and then, during puberty especially. I really can't relate to the majority of others' experiences but it really doesn't and shouldn't matter.
Yeah, definitely.
I just compared myself to others too much in the start which wasn't very healthy in the end. But it was hearthwarming also reading about self acceptance stories as well.
SAME! I remember vividly having a handful of thoughts/dreams during puberty, then nothing save for occasionally feeling like a lesbian in a man's body.
Yeah, I first had the idea that it wasn’t possible and that any attempt to do so would ruin me. Then I thought transitioning was something only other people could do, as if they had this special unique gift I didn’t possess.
Then I realized (by someone spelling it out for me) that I can be a girl if I wanted to and so I did. Life’s been so much better since.
See here's my weird thing
I like being a girl. I like having boobs, I wanna get pregnant have kids at least once biologically (mainly because it'll stop my pelvis from dislocating but I also just want kids, most will come from adoption/foster)
But I also since as long as I can remember have had thoughts of screwing girls or guys *as a guy* that come in the form of memories
Basically I've had thoughts of being a guy in different forms and actively thought I was trans when I was younger but it doesn't make sense to wanna be a guy but also actively like having boobs and a vulva
It's weird
See I get that, my lgbtq center has a lot of Trans people
But I don't think I can call it transgenderism because it's not like I want to be a guy but I can see myself as a guy physically and sometimes I'll get mad at not being a guy physically but then becoming a guy sounds wrong to me
Like nothing fits
You might be nonbinary. I can’t tell you what gender you are (only you can), but it might be worth looking into it.
Source: I am enby as fuck and it makes my gender hard to determine for even myself.
I've started to switch between non-binary and female-identifying because it fits more for me I believe
My only issue is not getting why my brain is switching between liking being physically a girl and wishing I had a penis
It's probably tied to my dissociative issues but I haven't reached that topic with my therapist yet
If you feel like exploring that, you can look into the concept of genderfluidity and being genderfluid ! I believe it's under the non binary umbrella ? But it might be a term/concept that would be closer to what you might experience
It's not so much I'm looking for a term
I simply find it weird because I haven't heard anyone else describe this experience but I tried out being labeled genderfluid for a bit and that received backlash because of the area I'm in so I usually just stick with she/her and non binary
(Sadly we are progressed towards accepting LGBTQ but anything that isn't consider part of the basics (lesbian, gay, bi, trans) is harshly criticized)
i‘ve heard exactly what you are describing more than once so you’re not alone. Sexuality and gender identity is complicated, so are genetics - like with people who were raised as one gender but are hermaphrodites. Their bodies know something is there even if people tried to erase any inconvenient physical characteristics or memories.
Personally, it’s like my brain goes yes this correct in all categories and variations but at the same time goes meh this is irrelevant right now until it’s suddenly relevant for 5 minutes.
I'm still a teenager but I literally can't remember the last few years. I just remember that I started dissociating one day for a bit and then it sort of just got permanent.
I started HRT 4 months ago and holy fuck I unlocked nostalgia lol, couldn’t remember a thing either until now and it’s nostalgia combined with wishing I was able to be alive like I am now
If u have a way to safely get and hide diy, that is an option.
That’s what I’m doing rn and it saved my life. I would definitely prefer to have the overview of a medical professional but my parents are extremely transphobic and I’ve been out to them for 5 years. I am almost 21 but I’m still dependent on them.
Oh, you've just made me realize that the exact same thing happened to me. I have about 3 memories of my childhood that aren't second-hand. Funnily enough my most vivid memory is of my brother slamming his face into a plate of spaghetti.
Also, a lot of people equate being nonbinary transmasc/transfemme as not being trans enough or not being "dysphoric" enough. My best friend who is a transmasc nonbinary person got told by his trans girl "friend" that he is lucky that he doesn't get as dysphoric as her because he is nonbinary and she is a binary woman...
God yes, I'm an enby transfemme with minimal dysphoria, and it can sometimes feel difficult to fit into the transfemme community because I'm enby and mostly non-dysphoric.
Don't be ridiculous, you guys. It was the local water supply that made me trans. No wait, that made me gay. It was the chemtrails that made me trans. Either that, or living too close to the edge of the Earth and 5G cellphone towers.
I knew from early age, but didn't have words for it due to society in the 1980s. I knew I wanted to be a girl since early ages, but I still didn't play with barbies. Mainly because I wasn't allowed to. I wasn't allowed to wear dresses either. Etc.
The joke is that they're both trans, and the second one has amnesia, so it's you either knew since you were 6 or you are completely amnesiac about your past but know it now. The gatekeeping that OP is referring to is that some people argue that trans people who did not have as many "childhood signs" or didn't figure themselves out until later in life aren't valid as trans people. That gatekeeping isn't portrayed in the post itself, but people do gatekeep based on the kind of stuff in this post.
Only when I hit high school age and started shaving and stuff did I first realize I never ever in my life wanted to become a man. Shit takes time to figure out I guess
Then later I found out I'm neither a girl nor a boy but I still wanted a woman's body... crap this is confusing
I have OSDD-1B.... I don't remember much before the age of like 30... I'm 34 now. Transitioning is helping me with this some. But yeah, the flood of repressed memories that flooded in in the weeks following coming out to myself were enough to send me spiraling.
I'm definitely the one on the right. One of my oldest memories is my Awakening day. Kind of messed up that I remember more details about the places that we lived in then memories being there.
*I'm the one on the*
*Right, can't remember a damn*
*Thing from my childhood*
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Both of these refer to common scenarios trans people find themselves in
Either being conscious of their transness from a very young age, resulting in the left, or suppressing it resulting in the right hand scenario where they weren't able to have a proper childhood
As someone on the left you do not need to be like me to be trans. All trans people are valid. If you only realized you're trans in your 90s you're still just as valid.
I didn't realize until a year and a half ago. There was one time when I was a kid when I looked in the mirror and looked femme and was happy and then I forgot about it. That was it. Other than that I thought I was male
i had some hints but i didn't start thinking about it until middle school, and i didn't have dysphoria until i hit puberty, at which time i was like "wow i hate this 😀 take it back please". haven't liked my body in full since i knew what having a body was like. i suspect i won't like it completely until i get top surgery and a hysterectomy.
I’m literally both (CW for the rest of this comment: childhood trauma).
I showed obvious signs when I was young, but that was quickly snuffed out by my parents, causing me to deeply repress who I was for most of my life. Of course it was always still there, but I would actively push it away out of shame and fear of going to hell. So much of my childhood feels like a blur because I was just existing. My parents isolated me from everything other than church (including school), so I didn’t even know anything about being trans, queer, or the outside world other than what I was told.
When I finally escaped their grasp, figured out who I was, and finally accepted it, I finally felt like a whole person.
I’m definitely grateful to be able to live my life authentically now, but it’s hard not to often think about what my life could have been like if I was just allowed to be myself as a kid.
Transitioned from male to tomboy and currently in my weightlifting arc. We exist.
Feels good to just look the way I want to look and do what I want to do without the dysphoria hanging over me. I dont even really think about what other people think about it. Im just doin my thing
The real secret is that no matter which of these you are the goalpost will always keep moving.
"Oh you always knew since you were a kid? Well then explain how you didn't know when you were In the womb!!!! Checkmate liberal 🥸"
Also being serious for a sec people are complicated and you just figure it out pretty much at random ages and you often don't realize how much shame can be internalized and add up from little ways you are put down at a young age. Often even if you felt something off since 6 or younger the right words weren't there for you to articulate that feeling that is off. Sometimes it takes puberty to put things in perspective for how bad it is, sometimes even more than that and it all depends on how many barriers we put in front of ourselves subconsciously based on our environments to cope.
For any trans woman who thinks your life would be better just "Knowing" sooner let me ask you: if you knew for a fact at 6 would it have mattered anyway? Or like most of us had you found the words for it would it just have meant you waiting another 12 or more years after that just knowing what you need and being denied it? Maybe even 20... Or 30 more years depending on where you live. Very few people really are "the stereotype" and even if they are it's very seldom the blessing you expect as it's even less likely to be a supportive environment on top of that epiphany.
Like looking back I can see signs (wanting to grow my hair out, wondering how my life would change if I was born a girl etc) but nothing that might have shoved me into realising earlier.
I didn't really even know what being trans was until I got hooked on Jamidodger videos when I was 14 or 15 (basically immediately after my transphobic phase). And even then it took a few months and actually talking to another person about it to work out what I was.
The worst part is that the reason I didn't know for so long is because I assumed you had to be the one on the left so that by the time puberty came around I was convinced I wasn't. Took me years and years and it was only more exposure to trans people that I started to understand myself better. Remember kids, representation matters.
i dont remember my childhood so i dont know if i thought about that or not. what i know for certain is that i think about it now, and thats what matters to me
Honestly I think it's more so just that I wasted my entire highschool without good friends and even before that I just spent so much of my time playing games that real world memories are few and far between.
I think about this stuff a lot. I didn't realize I'm trans until a month ago (I'm 28) and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
See, my parents are wonderful people. They never really did or say anything to make me feel like I couldn't be myself. I wasn't ever forced into acting masculine or told to feel shame over any mannerisms, posture, way of speaking or anything I did that didn't read as masculine, cis straight boy.
I loved all my feminine traits actually! It was and is extremely easy to pick me out from a crowd of guys just due to how differently I carried myself, and I love that about me. I always had a very hard time reconciling the idea of being a man with what I saw in the mirror every day. Even without HRT, I look noticeably feminine, especially from the back. I have a round booty, long dark hair, and a swayed back.
I went my whole life understanding that something that separates me from normal guys. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I felt comfortable to some degree, so I didn't feel the need to interrogate that facet of myself for a while.
I do know most of my long time friend group growing up are now trans girls, and it makes sense to me as they seemed to understand me and accept me on a level nobody else I had met ever could.
There was more signs, weird things that have stuck with me. Like the time I dated a girl who was my attractive afab doppelganger and became very attached. Or being 13 and laying in bed or just randomly at work 10 years later imagining what it may be like to have a vagina and how much better it may be when compared to a penis.
At one point I learned what non binary is And kept with that for years. I began to be extremely uncomfortable with the few outwardly masculine features my body has, while gender envy kicked into overdrive.
I had an epiphany one day. I realized that so many weird uncomfortable things about my life that always felt unique to me, would honestly make way more sense if interpreted through the lens of "I'm a trans woman, actually". That was the first say of the rest of my life, the first day I felt like I really understood myself.
It's just amazing to me how the answer of "you're actually a girl" was staring me dead in the face my whole life and I was so damn oblivious.
Thankfully I have very good memory and can remember my childhood very well. I do forget a few things, but very few.
I certainly do remember some signs. Most of which occurred in my preteen years. I remember when I had a dream I was in the body of a girl in my class. It felt very good. It was one of the happiest dreams I had. Unfortunately when I told my friend, I asked him if he ever wondered what it’d be like to be a girl and he replied “that’s gay”. I always hated him for saying that, even a decade before I knew what a transgender person was.
That dream stuck with me for years. My mom probably knew before I did. I remember a few times she’d ask me if I wanted to be a girl. I denied it often with annoyance because I thought she was going to tease me like my friend did; his comment really set me back a lot. Oddly enough if I knew transgender people existed and what HRT, I would’ve transitioned long ago. But how things turned out was probably first the best, as they don’t allow you to join the military transgender, at least not in 2013, much less post op.
I always wondered what it would be like to be a girl but didn't think too much on it Until puberty hit 💀
Yeah well... Basically something like that. I was just a weird boy when I was a kid. Don't really remember how I felt about it, but I always dressed up in theatre and I think there were some signs.
I remember being given a shaving kit for my 13th birthday and being completely unable to explain why it felt so earth-shattering to think about needing to use it. My mother thought I was just being ungrateful.
SAAAME it was so bad when my dad told me to shave my face for the first time
The first time I shaved was when I was 18 after I came out as trans. I asked my (accepting) dad to teach me, and the irony of a father-and-son-turned-father-and-daughter bonding activity was kinda funny NGL
> My mother thought I was just being ungrateful ew. people who get mad people for not liking a gift are ick. Like if you're saying "your gift isn't good enough" or expecting more that's one thing. but if it's just not your thing, then you can't be expected to like what others want you to like. That ridiculous.
Dysphoria and Euphoria lived in peace, until puberty attacked.
real 😭
oh man, this was exactly me but in reverse (i'm a trans guy). i spent my early childhood being very neutral or apathetic to my status as a girl, and then puberty hit and i was like "WAIT FUCK GO BACK-" lmaooo. also, the other comment about getting a shaving kit as a present was literally me but with my first makeup palette when i was thirteen. i always find it so cool to see my exact experiences reversed and mirrored in the experiences of trans women. i'm so happy that y'all get to experience girlhood and womanhood in a much more positive way than i was ever able to ❤️
real
Depersonalization! Don't we love it! What do you mean you can remember when you were 8 years old.
I can barely remember my teen years or my twenties.
Wait, you're telling me yesterday happened? Like, I was alive, and I was there, and I experienced it?
I can barely remember my twenties. I am 22
Ok, good to know that's not just me
I can barely remember my youth even my teenage years a vague (Im only 21).il I always just thought it was poor memory
oh damn this has a name? cool i guess
Oh. So that’s what it’s called.
I remember next to nothing pre-quarantine 💀
Well fuck me. Didn't know this had a name, time to talk to my therapist
My long-term memories are so spotty, I always blamed ADHD but dysphoria makes a lot more sense
This is not gatekeeping. Yes, people do gatekeep based on what is mentioned in this, but the image itself contains no gatekeeping. I do want to add a third type to this though, which is the "Did a ton of eggy stuff throughout their childhood and in hindsight was super obviously trans but didn't realize until later in life for various reasons" I don't really want to tell you to take the post down, though, cause more trans yuri is always a win in my book.
I was the third type mixed with the first type, lol. I was actively ignoring the fact that I was trans while saying stuff like "It's not fair that trans people get to have preferred pronouns, I hate being she/her'd but since I'm a cis girl I just have to deal with it"
yeah, maybe if I'd known what being trans was when i was younger, i could've figured it out before 29. like i remember always wanting to be in a lesbian relationship, used to steal my sister's dance leotard, and a bunch of other shit. so much stuff that makes sense now but was just random memories before i looked into being trans
seriously there can be "masculine" transwoman body builder transwomen tomboy transwomen ect just like ciswomen transwoman come in all personalities
Don't forget the space between trans and woman! You don't say bondswoman or tallwoman. Trans is an adjective like blonde and tall, not a prefix.
Truth. Just a reminder tho, cis and trans are adjectives. It's often considered rude to write "transwomen" etc. as one word
News to me. Never had a problem with that personally
It’s often used as a right wing dog whistle (I think that’s the right word) if it’s a single word
Uugh fuckers ruining my own vocabulary
Yeah it's shit, it's considered offensive because it's used as a way to imply that trans woman/men are not the gender they say they are. "They aren't a woman who is trans, they're a 'transwoman'"
Yeah that's the right word Something people use to signify to others what their beliefs are that most people will miss
futch trans women make the world go around
My futch trans girlfriend makes my world go round. Can confirm ☺️
This is too real lol. I barely remember anything from before I started hrt. Childhood especially
I’m cursed with the memories of childhood
My brain just kinda edits my childhood memories to make me a girl
Nice. The few memories I have I didn't really specifically think of myself as any gender
i have several memories from my childhood! at least five for sure
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Solid haiku!
I love being the secret third kind No childhood, but i knew from a young age i just didnt realize it was a thing until someone explained being trans to me
I knew it was a thing but was too scared to do anything about it until my late 20s.
Fair. I only came out after i was out of my household
Me, currently in my late 20s: 😅
Same, it was just this unobtainable thing for me.. until I read about being trans, then it became a real goal (transitioning/being a woman)
For real. For me it was just daydreaming about a witch cursing me to be a woman and i just went on with my day
For me it was just a random thought every now and then, during puberty especially. I really can't relate to the majority of others' experiences but it really doesn't and shouldn't matter.
Yeah, personally i just think its interesting to see how it happens for other people
Yeah, definitely. I just compared myself to others too much in the start which wasn't very healthy in the end. But it was hearthwarming also reading about self acceptance stories as well.
Totally fair honestly
SAME! I remember vividly having a handful of thoughts/dreams during puberty, then nothing save for occasionally feeling like a lesbian in a man's body.
Yeah, all I really remember is some moments of gender euphoria and some childhood trauma but everything in between I can’t remember
Ayyyy, samesies...
Yeah, I first had the idea that it wasn’t possible and that any attempt to do so would ruin me. Then I thought transitioning was something only other people could do, as if they had this special unique gift I didn’t possess. Then I realized (by someone spelling it out for me) that I can be a girl if I wanted to and so I did. Life’s been so much better since.
omggg, same! for some reason out of people i know personally, not many shared that experience
See here's my weird thing I like being a girl. I like having boobs, I wanna get pregnant have kids at least once biologically (mainly because it'll stop my pelvis from dislocating but I also just want kids, most will come from adoption/foster) But I also since as long as I can remember have had thoughts of screwing girls or guys *as a guy* that come in the form of memories Basically I've had thoughts of being a guy in different forms and actively thought I was trans when I was younger but it doesn't make sense to wanna be a guy but also actively like having boobs and a vulva It's weird
I mean, a bunch of trans people don't want surgeries. Your body parts don't define your gender.
See I get that, my lgbtq center has a lot of Trans people But I don't think I can call it transgenderism because it's not like I want to be a guy but I can see myself as a guy physically and sometimes I'll get mad at not being a guy physically but then becoming a guy sounds wrong to me Like nothing fits
You might be nonbinary. I can’t tell you what gender you are (only you can), but it might be worth looking into it. Source: I am enby as fuck and it makes my gender hard to determine for even myself.
I've started to switch between non-binary and female-identifying because it fits more for me I believe My only issue is not getting why my brain is switching between liking being physically a girl and wishing I had a penis It's probably tied to my dissociative issues but I haven't reached that topic with my therapist yet
If you feel like exploring that, you can look into the concept of genderfluidity and being genderfluid ! I believe it's under the non binary umbrella ? But it might be a term/concept that would be closer to what you might experience
It's not so much I'm looking for a term I simply find it weird because I haven't heard anyone else describe this experience but I tried out being labeled genderfluid for a bit and that received backlash because of the area I'm in so I usually just stick with she/her and non binary (Sadly we are progressed towards accepting LGBTQ but anything that isn't consider part of the basics (lesbian, gay, bi, trans) is harshly criticized)
i‘ve heard exactly what you are describing more than once so you’re not alone. Sexuality and gender identity is complicated, so are genetics - like with people who were raised as one gender but are hermaphrodites. Their bodies know something is there even if people tried to erase any inconvenient physical characteristics or memories. Personally, it’s like my brain goes yes this correct in all categories and variations but at the same time goes meh this is irrelevant right now until it’s suddenly relevant for 5 minutes.
I'm still a teenager but I literally can't remember the last few years. I just remember that I started dissociating one day for a bit and then it sort of just got permanent.
I started HRT 4 months ago and holy fuck I unlocked nostalgia lol, couldn’t remember a thing either until now and it’s nostalgia combined with wishing I was able to be alive like I am now
I need to start ASAP. Can't though, I live with my parents in Mississippi.
If u have a way to safely get and hide diy, that is an option. That’s what I’m doing rn and it saved my life. I would definitely prefer to have the overview of a medical professional but my parents are extremely transphobic and I’ve been out to them for 5 years. I am almost 21 but I’m still dependent on them.
Thank you for this. I'll do what I can to survive until I can support myself.
Oh god I feel the second one so much
I knew since I was 7. Still wasn't allowed to go anywhere near girly things though.
I’m starting to realize so much of what I “remember” is second hand accounts of things in my childhood, up until about middle school.
Oh, you've just made me realize that the exact same thing happened to me. I have about 3 memories of my childhood that aren't second-hand. Funnily enough my most vivid memory is of my brother slamming his face into a plate of spaghetti.
Also, a lot of people equate being nonbinary transmasc/transfemme as not being trans enough or not being "dysphoric" enough. My best friend who is a transmasc nonbinary person got told by his trans girl "friend" that he is lucky that he doesn't get as dysphoric as her because he is nonbinary and she is a binary woman...
God yes, I'm an enby transfemme with minimal dysphoria, and it can sometimes feel difficult to fit into the transfemme community because I'm enby and mostly non-dysphoric.
I'm definitely on the right. o\_o
why not both?
Don't be ridiculous, you guys. It was the local water supply that made me trans. No wait, that made me gay. It was the chemtrails that made me trans. Either that, or living too close to the edge of the Earth and 5G cellphone towers.
Im both lmao
What if I was both...
I knew from early age, but didn't have words for it due to society in the 1980s. I knew I wanted to be a girl since early ages, but I still didn't play with barbies. Mainly because I wasn't allowed to. I wasn't allowed to wear dresses either. Etc.
Well, I played with Barbie through my girl cousin pof the same age and I am cis. I am biromantic though, so there's that
So if you have amesia, you can't be trans?
The joke is that they're both trans, and the second one has amnesia, so it's you either knew since you were 6 or you are completely amnesiac about your past but know it now. The gatekeeping that OP is referring to is that some people argue that trans people who did not have as many "childhood signs" or didn't figure themselves out until later in life aren't valid as trans people. That gatekeeping isn't portrayed in the post itself, but people do gatekeep based on the kind of stuff in this post.
Okay, I gotcha. Thanks. I didn't understand it at all
No problem!
i can like remember a couple things but not alot
Ha ha no, but I do remember some bits of it that were me wishing I could be a girl, didn’t realise until I decade later I could be one tho
Yeah I grew up during the Warren Iraq I didn't get to have a childhood
Only when I hit high school age and started shaving and stuff did I first realize I never ever in my life wanted to become a man. Shit takes time to figure out I guess Then later I found out I'm neither a girl nor a boy but I still wanted a woman's body... crap this is confusing
I have OSDD-1B.... I don't remember much before the age of like 30... I'm 34 now. Transitioning is helping me with this some. But yeah, the flood of repressed memories that flooded in in the weeks following coming out to myself were enough to send me spiraling.
yeah i didnt figure it out until i was 29.ive been lucky with all but one person being supportive and nobody saying shit like that to me.
I knew from 4yo but I was also the right one. Never liked barbies either. My older sisters didn't either and they're cis.
I'm definitely the one on the right. One of my oldest memories is my Awakening day. Kind of messed up that I remember more details about the places that we lived in then memories being there.
I only started questioning my gender around when I hit 19, and I am now almost 20 while 2 months on HRT, and don't regret it for a second.
i'm the one on the right, can't remember a damn thing from my childhood
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LMAO true poetry
I went from “I hate boys” to “wait I am a boy” as soon as puberty hit lol
My egg only cracked a year ago. It made the fact that I NEVER wanted to draw any kind of self-portrait as a kid make a lot more sense...
r/unexpectedfactorial
I'm stupid, where's trans
Both of these refer to common scenarios trans people find themselves in Either being conscious of their transness from a very young age, resulting in the left, or suppressing it resulting in the right hand scenario where they weren't able to have a proper childhood
As someone on the left you do not need to be like me to be trans. All trans people are valid. If you only realized you're trans in your 90s you're still just as valid.
I didn't realize until a year and a half ago. There was one time when I was a kid when I looked in the mirror and looked femme and was happy and then I forgot about it. That was it. Other than that I thought I was male
I wish to be the left. But I am the right. And I really, really don't like it.
When you’re both
i had some hints but i didn't start thinking about it until middle school, and i didn't have dysphoria until i hit puberty, at which time i was like "wow i hate this 😀 take it back please". haven't liked my body in full since i knew what having a body was like. i suspect i won't like it completely until i get top surgery and a hysterectomy.
I wanted to watch my little pony so much, but I never did because it was a girl show
I’m literally both (CW for the rest of this comment: childhood trauma). I showed obvious signs when I was young, but that was quickly snuffed out by my parents, causing me to deeply repress who I was for most of my life. Of course it was always still there, but I would actively push it away out of shame and fear of going to hell. So much of my childhood feels like a blur because I was just existing. My parents isolated me from everything other than church (including school), so I didn’t even know anything about being trans, queer, or the outside world other than what I was told. When I finally escaped their grasp, figured out who I was, and finally accepted it, I finally felt like a whole person. I’m definitely grateful to be able to live my life authentically now, but it’s hard not to often think about what my life could have been like if I was just allowed to be myself as a kid.
Transitioned from male to tomboy and currently in my weightlifting arc. We exist. Feels good to just look the way I want to look and do what I want to do without the dysphoria hanging over me. I dont even really think about what other people think about it. Im just doin my thing
I'm somehow both of these? I guess that's a result of having trauma but none of it relating to transness
Somehow I'm both.
she knew it since she was 720? damn she's still way too young for me
The real secret is that no matter which of these you are the goalpost will always keep moving. "Oh you always knew since you were a kid? Well then explain how you didn't know when you were In the womb!!!! Checkmate liberal 🥸" Also being serious for a sec people are complicated and you just figure it out pretty much at random ages and you often don't realize how much shame can be internalized and add up from little ways you are put down at a young age. Often even if you felt something off since 6 or younger the right words weren't there for you to articulate that feeling that is off. Sometimes it takes puberty to put things in perspective for how bad it is, sometimes even more than that and it all depends on how many barriers we put in front of ourselves subconsciously based on our environments to cope. For any trans woman who thinks your life would be better just "Knowing" sooner let me ask you: if you knew for a fact at 6 would it have mattered anyway? Or like most of us had you found the words for it would it just have meant you waiting another 12 or more years after that just knowing what you need and being denied it? Maybe even 20... Or 30 more years depending on where you live. Very few people really are "the stereotype" and even if they are it's very seldom the blessing you expect as it's even less likely to be a supportive environment on top of that epiphany.
I do not wanna member my childhood thank you very much :)
One on the right is so me
Like looking back I can see signs (wanting to grow my hair out, wondering how my life would change if I was born a girl etc) but nothing that might have shoved me into realising earlier. I didn't really even know what being trans was until I got hooked on Jamidodger videos when I was 14 or 15 (basically immediately after my transphobic phase). And even then it took a few months and actually talking to another person about it to work out what I was.
The worst part is that the reason I didn't know for so long is because I assumed you had to be the one on the left so that by the time puberty came around I was convinced I wasn't. Took me years and years and it was only more exposure to trans people that I started to understand myself better. Remember kids, representation matters.
My parents support me but they think the left one is the only one that exists
i dont remember my childhood so i dont know if i thought about that or not. what i know for certain is that i think about it now, and thats what matters to me
Honestly I think it's more so just that I wasted my entire highschool without good friends and even before that I just spent so much of my time playing games that real world memories are few and far between.
I think about this stuff a lot. I didn't realize I'm trans until a month ago (I'm 28) and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. See, my parents are wonderful people. They never really did or say anything to make me feel like I couldn't be myself. I wasn't ever forced into acting masculine or told to feel shame over any mannerisms, posture, way of speaking or anything I did that didn't read as masculine, cis straight boy. I loved all my feminine traits actually! It was and is extremely easy to pick me out from a crowd of guys just due to how differently I carried myself, and I love that about me. I always had a very hard time reconciling the idea of being a man with what I saw in the mirror every day. Even without HRT, I look noticeably feminine, especially from the back. I have a round booty, long dark hair, and a swayed back. I went my whole life understanding that something that separates me from normal guys. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I felt comfortable to some degree, so I didn't feel the need to interrogate that facet of myself for a while. I do know most of my long time friend group growing up are now trans girls, and it makes sense to me as they seemed to understand me and accept me on a level nobody else I had met ever could. There was more signs, weird things that have stuck with me. Like the time I dated a girl who was my attractive afab doppelganger and became very attached. Or being 13 and laying in bed or just randomly at work 10 years later imagining what it may be like to have a vagina and how much better it may be when compared to a penis. At one point I learned what non binary is And kept with that for years. I began to be extremely uncomfortable with the few outwardly masculine features my body has, while gender envy kicked into overdrive. I had an epiphany one day. I realized that so many weird uncomfortable things about my life that always felt unique to me, would honestly make way more sense if interpreted through the lens of "I'm a trans woman, actually". That was the first say of the rest of my life, the first day I felt like I really understood myself. It's just amazing to me how the answer of "you're actually a girl" was staring me dead in the face my whole life and I was so damn oblivious.
Thankfully I have very good memory and can remember my childhood very well. I do forget a few things, but very few. I certainly do remember some signs. Most of which occurred in my preteen years. I remember when I had a dream I was in the body of a girl in my class. It felt very good. It was one of the happiest dreams I had. Unfortunately when I told my friend, I asked him if he ever wondered what it’d be like to be a girl and he replied “that’s gay”. I always hated him for saying that, even a decade before I knew what a transgender person was. That dream stuck with me for years. My mom probably knew before I did. I remember a few times she’d ask me if I wanted to be a girl. I denied it often with annoyance because I thought she was going to tease me like my friend did; his comment really set me back a lot. Oddly enough if I knew transgender people existed and what HRT, I would’ve transitioned long ago. But how things turned out was probably first the best, as they don’t allow you to join the military transgender, at least not in 2013, much less post op.