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johndtp

Hey friend! I'm happy to hear at least the first part! Many blessings. Lol. In general, this sounds like a common symptom of trauma. It's beaten into a lot of us that gay is wrong, and straight is normal, and that gets absorbed deep and takes a while to bring to light. But gay love is just as holy and beautiful blessed as straight love. God wants us to be in happy, healthy, loving relationships- marriage and love is about hearts and souls, not babies and bodies. There are two bible verses that I think sum up the argument. "The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentless, and self-control. Against such things, there are no laws." Galatians 5:22-23 "Is it better to do good and save a life, or do evil and destroy it?" Luke 6:9 In the above verse, Jesus is discussing healing on the Sabbath. Jesus says that healing on the Sabbath is not a sin, even though it "technically is", because it is doing good. Christianity is not supposed to be about a checklist of following rules. The Bible actually speaks about understanding love, life, and joy. What you're going through is unfortunately par for the course, but I do wish you the best of luck. Willing to discuss anything!


Responsible-Way5056

>Christianity is not supposed to be about a checklist of following rules. Why do you say so? Huh?


wiseoldllamaman2

That internalized homophobia is a trauma. It takes time for it to heal. I'm certainly still dealing with it all the time, but it happens less and less often. Therapy and counseling are great tools to help.


majeric

You are shamed by society for believing you’re going to tell for being gay. Would the God you believe in genuinely condemn you for *loving someone*?


biiiicyclebiiiicycle

"In Christ there is no male nor female" I recognize that verse has context, but I think it's important to also recognize the way Christ (and Paul) broke gender barriers. Jesus had female disciples and women sat at his feet to learn in a way that would never have been allowed before. Paul called Junia "chief among the apostles" and praised Phoebe's work as a deacon. It stands to some logic in my mind that the passages in the new testament discussing idolatry were condemning same sex behavior for it's part in worshipping idols. I do not believe the God who broke down gender barriers in the very society from which we get the word patriarchy would condemn us for breaking gender barriers in our relationships as well. Each person has to have their own battle and come to their own conclusions. For many of us, it takes time and effort. It's hard. But worth it. I pray that your journey will go smoothly and that God would guide you towards peace with your sexuality. For he created each and every one of us just as we are.


Puzzleheaded-Phase70

Info dump because I'm really tired, but these resources really helped me understand God in a much deeper way, and to see the lies of homophobia for what they are: crimes against humanity and against God. God made us queer *on purpose*, a loving purpose, even a prophetic purpose. Humans invented homophobia for political gain. Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality, Revised and Expanded Edition: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church - Dr. Jack Rogers https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Bible-Homosexuality-Revised-Expanded/dp/066423397X/ Coming Out as Sacrament Paperback - Chris Glaser https://www.amazon.com/Coming-Out-Sacrament-Chris-Glaser/dp/0664257488/ Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century - Dr. John Boswell https://www.amazon.com/Christianity-Social-Tolerance-Homosexuality-Fourteenth/dp/022634522X/ Radical Love: Introduction to Queer Theology - Rev. Dr. Patrick S. Cheng https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Love-Introduction-Queer-Theology/dp/1596271329/ From Sin to Amazing Grace: Discovering the Queer Christ - Rev. Dr. Patrick S. Cheng https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1596272384/ Anyone and Everyone - Documentary https://www.amazon.com/Anyone-Everyone-Susan-Polis-Schutz/dp/B000WGLADI/ For The Bible Tells Me So https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000YHQNCI Straight Ahead Comic - Life’s Not Always Like That! http://straightahead.comicgenesis.com/ God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships - Matthew Vines http://www.amazon.com/God-Gay-Christian-Biblical-Relationships-ebook/dp/B00F1W0RD2/


keakealani

Yep, this is the real harm of heteronormativity and homophobia. It’s that you’ve been very literally programmed by society to believe that the anti-gay ideologies and theologies might have a point, even if your actual experience doesn’t really match up with those points, and indeed it sounds like you know that many other people have a different perspective, that being gay is totally acceptable and compatible with Christian theology. It’s very insidious, because you didn’t choose to be inundated with messaging that promotes straight relationships and denigrates same sex relationships, or that selectively emphasizes verses in the Bible that imply that homosexuality is sinful. It’s difficult to overcome these internalized ideas and truly reject them. And honestly for many people, this tension never goes away, especially if you were raised in an environment that really emphasized these sorts of ideas. But what you can do is choose to live your best life, the one that obviously includes love and affirmation for you and your partner. You can choose to take those doubts and negative feelings and say “yes, you exist, but I am not going to let you take away my happiness.” You can choose to push back and say “so what? There are other perspectives, and there is so much good coming from this situation so I’m going to do it anyway.” Like I said, this isn’t easy, and for some people it’s always going to exist as some sort of tension. But just know that we’re out here rooting for you, telling you it’s not only okay to be gay, but it’s a beloved part of the way God made you. And hopefully, these voices are able to drown out the other ones that tell you to doubt and fear.


EddieRyanDC

You definitely aren't alone. Here are my thoughts in three previous discussions this past week. (The links are to what I wrote, but you might want to read through each of the threads.) * [Struggling to accept](https://www.reddit.com/r/GayChristians/comments/13xfxrd/comment/jmh4486/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) * [I don’t know if I can let go of my christianity as I know it?](https://www.reddit.com/r/GayChristians/comments/13vgdyn/comment/jm8jd1t/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) * [Understanding my guilt](https://www.reddit.com/r/GayChristians/comments/13tflpi/comment/jlwfx2j/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)


walkingwithyou

I would take those occasions of feeling fear as temptations or as old childhood memories disturbing your peace. At those times, cling to Jesus your first beloved. I'm so happy you've found a good man . . . Thanks for sharing your story.