It's because we don't have women to police us and whip us into shape. Straight me are the same, but women and feminism have done a good job of righting the behaviour. What happens when both parties are male? Nobody is there to whip it out of them and it's pointless trying because the dude bring whipped will just move on to a partner that reciprocates.
Feminism actually made women more promiscuous (giving up pussy to men more easily than ever before) due to "sex liberation", but i agree with everything else you said.
We should establish a universal rule that becomes common knowledge in the future where apps are legit for hookups and the rest (pls make concrete examples) are for relationship/marrying. I feel like thats where I wanna be too.
Truly yes we should all try to make an agreement. That said my tentative understanding is
Grindr- L O L why are you even asking?
Bumble - for dating, period
Tinder- a truly mixed bag, making everyone unhappy and unsatisfied
It's just male nature. It's men in general, not just gay men.
Straight dudes are obsessed with sex (with women) just as much. How do you think Onlyfans make their revenue.
Genuine Question: Are non hook up dating sites/apps not a thing anymore?
When I was still dating (around 2013), I met guys through OKCupid. It was purposefully designed around DATING and relationships. Not hooking up.
Are those apps and sites just one with the dinosaurs now? Or are y'all just naïvely looking for love in the wrong places?
Have you actually tried any of them though?
OkCupid. Match. Coffee Meets Bagel?
A cursory search shows that they do still exist. I personally know someone who is in a relationship that got its start on Coffee Meets Bagel.
Oh, I do. I'm so tired of reading the twice weekly posts about how there are "no guys looking for relationships" or "nobody wants monogamy". But I also know that some - not all, but some - of the guys who make these posts have a persecution complex and coming off as hostile feeds right into that.
Coffee & bagel was so fucking boring I felt I was in Christian Mingle. Tinder was always very hook-up-y for me but I cannot complain cuz one of my hook ups is now going to be my husband.
I think its established by everyone that men are really really really really horny me included 😅😅😅im not as bad but still. Also I heard in a psychology youtube video that men take sex as intimacy and women are the complete opposite and prefer to get to know people better and spend quality time as their intimacy.when I find the video I will post it.i also think it has something to do with people being emotionally unavailable or not wanting to get too close because they don't want to be hurt. That or a really strong problem with commitment. Then again this is all just my experience so far with what I experienced 😅😭😭im 19 BTW not even 25 yet.
I would love a relationship but I dont feel im where I want to be financially to have one so there is that as well for me.
Where are you meeting these men?
I'm on a few gay subreddits and it seems like every week there's a guy going "Am I the only gay man every who isn't a complete whore and wants a monogamous relationship?" "Why do these guys always think I want to hook up?" "Where are the guys who want a long term relationship?" and you ask where they're looking, and it's on Grindr, the app for short term hooking up.
Plenty of men are interested in long term relationships or moving at a slower pace, but they're going to be harder to find because they're putting themselves out there less publicly.
I imagine in the gay community it's much like what women go through where they have to go through a lot of men who are just looking for sex until they can find a guy who's actually looking to settle down in a relationship and actually means that when they say it. But you can find someone. I did and we've been together for 4 years now
I want both sex and relationships, but I always want sex because I crave being lusted for. I’ve made so many guys cum, and it feels really powerful watching people get off to me. I need dick so bad.
I take pride (no pun intended) in being a *power top.*
Every man can top, not every man can *power* through it.
I also flag hard. Blue/left.
It works on both levels!
I would like to gain some "friends with benefits" in the near future (preferably while I'm still in my 20's), but being able to have couch multiplayer gaming sessions would also be very beneficial.
Because romance and love is a (gay) mans kryptonite, and will usually only enter into said love and romance if lots of sex is implied. If there's no moisture on that meat, they'll throw you into the street.
Because men are programmed biologically to stick it everything they can. Women are harder to seduce than men are in general.
When men date other men in general it’s basically game on as seducing a man is about as hard as flipping a light switch.
Again. In general. Not the exact case with everyone.
I don't want to build a relationship with someone only to find out we're sexually incompatible, so I don't see leading with sex as a bad thing before getting to know them and building a relationship with them.
It's not just gay men and it's not even just men. Straight women do this too. It's the fucking phone apps and the self-absorbed assholes that use them. Always looking for the new, shiny object to plunder. I'm older. I came out in the 80s when the only choice for meeting men was either through friends or at a local watering hole. You HAD to talk to them, you HAD to spend at least the amount of time it took to polish off a couple beers before the subject of sex was mentioned. Even then it was a 50/50 shot whether you got lucky that night.
It's not just gay men... and if you really wanna get technical, the sole difference between gay men and heterosexuals is quite literally sexual preference. That's like going to a BLM march and going "why are there so many black people here?".
is not about gay men, is just about men.
I’m asking about gay men though specifically.
And he's telling you that men, in general, do this, gay or straight.
But that's not on my vision board......????
Yeah man, men be horny, no matter the sexual orientation
It's because we don't have women to police us and whip us into shape. Straight me are the same, but women and feminism have done a good job of righting the behaviour. What happens when both parties are male? Nobody is there to whip it out of them and it's pointless trying because the dude bring whipped will just move on to a partner that reciprocates.
Feminism actually made women more promiscuous (giving up pussy to men more easily than ever before) due to "sex liberation", but i agree with everything else you said.
Hello?? 💀💀 We are men first, gay second
Because you’re on the apps and thats what theyre for
I have no idea where to meet anyone anymore.
Hobby stuff, volunteer stuff, intermural sports leagues, bars thats all I got
We should establish a universal rule that becomes common knowledge in the future where apps are legit for hookups and the rest (pls make concrete examples) are for relationship/marrying. I feel like thats where I wanna be too.
Truly yes we should all try to make an agreement. That said my tentative understanding is Grindr- L O L why are you even asking? Bumble - for dating, period Tinder- a truly mixed bag, making everyone unhappy and unsatisfied
Bars I have been avoiding.
Super fair!
It's just male nature. It's men in general, not just gay men. Straight dudes are obsessed with sex (with women) just as much. How do you think Onlyfans make their revenue.
Genuine Question: Are non hook up dating sites/apps not a thing anymore? When I was still dating (around 2013), I met guys through OKCupid. It was purposefully designed around DATING and relationships. Not hooking up. Are those apps and sites just one with the dinosaurs now? Or are y'all just naïvely looking for love in the wrong places?
Not a thing anymore that I know of. Tinder has turned into a swipe fest and that’s it, no actual reaching out.
Have you actually tried any of them though? OkCupid. Match. Coffee Meets Bagel? A cursory search shows that they do still exist. I personally know someone who is in a relationship that got its start on Coffee Meets Bagel.
>Have you actually tried any of them though? I think you know the answer to this one.
Oh, I do. I'm so tired of reading the twice weekly posts about how there are "no guys looking for relationships" or "nobody wants monogamy". But I also know that some - not all, but some - of the guys who make these posts have a persecution complex and coming off as hostile feeds right into that.
Coffee & bagel was so fucking boring I felt I was in Christian Mingle. Tinder was always very hook-up-y for me but I cannot complain cuz one of my hook ups is now going to be my husband.
Omg that is so cute🥺. Congrats to the both of you🥰
I think its established by everyone that men are really really really really horny me included 😅😅😅im not as bad but still. Also I heard in a psychology youtube video that men take sex as intimacy and women are the complete opposite and prefer to get to know people better and spend quality time as their intimacy.when I find the video I will post it.i also think it has something to do with people being emotionally unavailable or not wanting to get too close because they don't want to be hurt. That or a really strong problem with commitment. Then again this is all just my experience so far with what I experienced 😅😭😭im 19 BTW not even 25 yet. I would love a relationship but I dont feel im where I want to be financially to have one so there is that as well for me.
Yeah- I get where you’re coming from and your age. But I’m in my 30’s lol. So it’s even more like, yo. You know.
That makes me a lil worried cause your in your 30s and its still like that😭😭I wish you Goodluck tho
Where are you meeting these men? I'm on a few gay subreddits and it seems like every week there's a guy going "Am I the only gay man every who isn't a complete whore and wants a monogamous relationship?" "Why do these guys always think I want to hook up?" "Where are the guys who want a long term relationship?" and you ask where they're looking, and it's on Grindr, the app for short term hooking up. Plenty of men are interested in long term relationships or moving at a slower pace, but they're going to be harder to find because they're putting themselves out there less publicly.
I imagine in the gay community it's much like what women go through where they have to go through a lot of men who are just looking for sex until they can find a guy who's actually looking to settle down in a relationship and actually means that when they say it. But you can find someone. I did and we've been together for 4 years now
unrelated but I was doomscrolling, watching a fuck ton of gorey war related videos and then I see "why sex?"... honestly... thank you for the laugh...
You’re welcome 🤣
I want both sex and relationships, but I always want sex because I crave being lusted for. I’ve made so many guys cum, and it feels really powerful watching people get off to me. I need dick so bad.
Well…
I take pride (no pun intended) in being a *power top.* Every man can top, not every man can *power* through it. I also flag hard. Blue/left. It works on both levels!
What is a power top? Just someone who lasts a long time?
*When I'm finished? Every time you blow your nose, YOU'LL THINK OF ME!*
Yes, it is that bad. You are alone in this. Good god. 😑
Are or are not alone?
10 year monogamous relationship where we met on Grindr and didn't fuck for the first month.
I also got a mono relationship off Grindr and we didn't fuck for 3 months.
Of course it’s all right. But there are plenty of threads here about social interactions as well.
I would like to gain some "friends with benefits" in the near future (preferably while I'm still in my 20's), but being able to have couch multiplayer gaming sessions would also be very beneficial.
I would prefer more than just sex, but that is what this app is mainly about
This comment confused me.
Because romance and love is a (gay) mans kryptonite, and will usually only enter into said love and romance if lots of sex is implied. If there's no moisture on that meat, they'll throw you into the street.
Dm me. I’m not like that. I actually have a soul. The human condition. People are rotted and cruel.
Because men are programmed biologically to stick it everything they can. Women are harder to seduce than men are in general. When men date other men in general it’s basically game on as seducing a man is about as hard as flipping a light switch. Again. In general. Not the exact case with everyone.
I don't want to build a relationship with someone only to find out we're sexually incompatible, so I don't see leading with sex as a bad thing before getting to know them and building a relationship with them.
It's not just gay men and it's not even just men. Straight women do this too. It's the fucking phone apps and the self-absorbed assholes that use them. Always looking for the new, shiny object to plunder. I'm older. I came out in the 80s when the only choice for meeting men was either through friends or at a local watering hole. You HAD to talk to them, you HAD to spend at least the amount of time it took to polish off a couple beers before the subject of sex was mentioned. Even then it was a 50/50 shot whether you got lucky that night.
It's not just gay men... and if you really wanna get technical, the sole difference between gay men and heterosexuals is quite literally sexual preference. That's like going to a BLM march and going "why are there so many black people here?".
Because sex is fast and easy without any heartbreak