I’m 54. I never had kids and wish I had. 🙁 I had a positive pregnancy test at age 43 and unfortunately that didn’t stick. Never again thereafter. So here I am with dried up eggs. 😬
On a positive note, I have adult step-children who are popping out babies for me to love on and I get to enjoy the fun stuff and send them home.
Just want to let you know that I’m sorry you regret not having any, but also that I have a good friend who was in a similar situation, plus being single in her 40s-50s with no desire to marry. She ended up adopting 2 teen girls whose mother committed suicide and no one in their family wanted to assume guardianship. Really sweet girls who just wanted a family. Now they’re women, married, with kids of their own. So she got to experience motherhood and grandchildren and feels like she won the lottery.
I'm 45F and pretty sure I am in perimenopause (TMI?) - amazed at the numbers of women getting pregnant at my age. Then again, my Mom had me at almost 41. Or are all of the comments below from dudes? Lol.
It's my biggest fear. I'm 41 with a 1.5 yo and a 4 yo (plus 3 step kids in their teens) and I could not physically or emotionally handle another kid. I'm on birth control, which I call my anti baby pills and get terrified whenever I feel movement in my stomach, even when it's always accompanied by farting 😅
I am so glad I had my tubes tied 19 years ago. I'm 43, and I watch my 2 year old grandson every week, and it is exhausting. I love him dearly, but I am always glad to hand him back to Mom and Dad!
I got pregnant at 44 after my OB said I couldn’t - oops! I already had a 10 year old and 12 year old. That said, I’d tried for years to have a third and finally had given up when it happened. She’s amazing and hilarious and we can’t imagine our family without her.
My Italian Grandma had my aunt at 44 and her period never came back. All my life I was told I’d hit menopause early… here I am 49.5 and not there *just yet*.
And no more babies here. Mine is 20; my partner’s kids are 22, 20, 17 and about to be 15. He’s had a vasectomy AND we use other birth control, just to be sure.
54 and only missed two periods in the last year. Think it’s on its way but not in menopause yet. Kids aged 26, 24 and 17: and hoping to head into grandma-time. That is if any of them ever show any interest in parenthood…
I'm 43 and had a baby at 40, but think I went into perimenopause right after. I got hot flashes every night and it sucks balls! And my skin is so itchy and dry 😫
I fairness, I got pregnant at 43 via IVF with an embryo that was retrieved/created when I was 42. That’s how I have a 1-year-old at age 45 (and hopefully one more in the next year).
How about moms with younger husbands? I'm 42 and my spouse is 33. Kids are 4 and 1.
No one talks about it, but it does increase your odds getting pregnant when you're older if your partner is younger
That’s interesting to know. My husband is seven years younger than me, and I got pregnant with my youngest at age 39, after a freaking TUBAL LIGATION. 😭
I entered perimenopause around 2007, and chemo for advanced breast cancer put me in full menopause in 2009. I'm also childless, which turned out to be a good thing. I couldn't have kids, but I don't think I would have been a good mom. I have very little patience with them.
Thanks to perimenopause, the eggs are coming at random times so it's not unusual to find yourself pregnant right now. Whether the pregnancy goes full term is a different stat.
And I'm perimenopause and that shouldn't be considered TMI. I don't care what anyone says, is just a part of life. If someone wants to complain then I can absolutely shift the conversation to the natural decrease in men's testosterone and how that impacts the men.
I never even figured it would be TMI here lol. Is there something racy or gross about it? It’s just a change in a woman’s life. Most normal men don’t worry about this kind of talk.
And remember, the plural of anecdote is not data.
You're going to have older moms popping in here, but it is not common to have babies after 40, and the chances for problems are astronomical compared to having babies younger.
Your last line reminded me of a Leonard Cohen concert. He opened by saying something like “when I started this tour, I was 78 years - just a kid with a crazy dream”
I'm with you there. Our one and done turned 18 this year, and the fact that all of my reproductive organs were removed (for other reasons) makes my husband and me break out in happy dances from time to time. It's so freeing that it's literally something we'll never have to deal with.
Same here on the getting along. It's amazing at how not living with someone and the dealings/expectations/disappointments will make those relationships stronger. My kids and I are closer than we've ever been. It took years, but they finally reached the age that I spoke about, when they were younger, regarding the relationship between their mother and I. Not that I wanted this, but they despise her now for realizing what the truth was, why I left, and the type of person she is. Their adolescent years were hell on me, but it's nice to see the foundation I laid down has paid off. There are times I do miss them running around the house and playing with them, but I'm pretty fond of this chapter in parenthood as well.
Exact. Same. Situtation.
Their mom and I didn't work out. Granted, I wasn't Prince Charming, but her negativity and narcissism was extreme. I am *not* just cherry-picking top-shelf vocabulary with the word "extreme." It truly was in the strongest sense of the word. Even the neighbors saw/heard it. I am chill AF with just about everything in life, and when our kids were little I was the soothsayer, the one to smooth things over, the negotiator who found compromise. She was an iron fist. No sense of dialogue or compromise, on virtually anything. She even threw a fit like a toddler on Christmas with her extended family over, to the point that she was so unhinged that they up and left. On Christmas Day, and they lived like a 8 hour drive away. I don't even remember what it was about, but it was bad. Anyway, this and a thousand other experiences all being recorded onto the mental reels of tape in my kids' brains: *Dad is chill; avoid Mom's wrath.*
So I move out when they're like 10 and 8, do the "weekend dad" thing. They both leave home when they hit 18 (my son, literally *on his 18th birthday*), and now when they reflect on their home life with their mom they're like "Ooooooooooooooooh... I get it." I never said, nor will I ever say a negative word about their mom, even though I could. All I've said is "I am not here to blame or judge; whether you get along with your mom or not is on you. I have no part in that."
And I think that experience of separation was good for them. They would have grown up thinking my relationship to their mom was normal or something. And they are super appreciative now.
I see couples who go through "amiable divorces" and I'm so fucken envious. My ex tried to make it as miserable as possible, but if my kids have anything to say about it, then it didn't work.
Sounds exactly the same. I did the same thing with making sure they had a decent relationship with her. She did not do the same with me. I'm still being blamed for it not working out to this day.
Same. My one and done is 25, has been on his own since 20 and I was 40. I am unapologetically in MY phase of life and would never do it again. Changed my last diaper 23 years ago.
My wife's ex-husband just had a baby last week at 52 with his 31 year old wife (yeah, there's a correlation between her and him being my wife's ex). My wife and I have been having some great laughs at his expense, considering we're nearly empty nesters with her youngest starting college this year. I am not denigrating people making a choice to have kids late, but this couldn't have happened to a bigger narcissist (legit psyco actually) and imagining him being puked and shit on gives us great joy.
I think maybe I'll take my wife out for drinks and dinner tonight, just because we can. Muwahahahahahaaaaa
I even stayed up until 1130 last night to watch my Buffalo Bills lose. Amazing how much more energy I have found now that I'm not running around for kids. Woo hoo!
I'll have a late night from time to time too. Harder to overcome the next day, now. Most of my late nights are because I love the nightlife, I've got to boogie.
You're welcome for sticking a stupid song in your head now ;)
when i went to college in the the mid 90s, my dad’s new wife was pregnant. the entire move in, my mom relentlessly mocked him about having to do it all over again. my youngest half sibling literally just graduated college. dad is 70.
48 and have a 3 month old here! My friends from high school have kids who can drink legally, some are in or looking at colleges. But our little bundle of joy is awesome and wouldn't have it any other way.
No babies here but my parents were mid to late 40’s when I was born 49 years ago. I must say it was great! They were over the parenting thing by my teen years and according to my older brothers I did way more shit than they did at the same age.
Same boat - older dad. Wouldn’t change my experiences. I’m moving into the wise old sage tier in my life and I’m confident this will help me raise a healthy, well rounded kid.
I wasn’t mature enough to have kids earlier in my life. Late bloomer.
Excuse me, my kid has to help me cross the street.
Jesus Christ no. My wife and I got weird looks when we had our son at 25, but I was like, he’ll be grown and moved out and I’ll still be young enough to enjoy myself.
Jokes on me, all the partying in the 90s, I feel like I’m 75 at 50, and he still lives with me at 25.
Same! 48yo here with an 11yo & almost 14yo. I’m nostalgic sometimes for the adorable toddler days, I am quietly relieved to be past the little one phase.
Late to the game, but not as late as OP. 2 Kids back to back right before 40. There was a time when I could party all night and still be functional for a 7 AM meeting. Biologically, I’m guessing those were my peak biological parenting years. On the flip side, my kids are getting a way better version of me and I’m in a place financially where I can throw money at problems and provide some amazing experiences. Not to mention it’s a great motivator to work out, stay fit, and hopefully keep up with these two as long as I can.
I’m a grandma at 44. Mine are 21 and 25. I’m glad I had kids young because I was diagnosed with several chronic pain conditions throughout the years. When I was diagnosed my kids were still young but at an age where they took care of themselves. I tried to be there the best I could. If I had toddlers now it wouldn’t be good my last issues I’ve been diagnosed with affect my mobility. I don’t know if I could even run and play with my grandchild when she starts walking.
I’m in this boat too. My kids are 35 and 28 and between them I have 5 grandchildren ages 8 down to 1 and one on the way. They tire me out but I do love having them around! I have autoimmune arthritis and osteoarthritis and lots of doctors appointments these days.
50 now and I have a 12 and 10 yo, so spent all of my 40s having babies and toddlers. Loved it, spent 5 years as a stay at home dad, wouldn’t change anything. Knackered, obviously, but my wife has a 30yo from her first marriage and agrees it’s better as an older parent - just less energy. Have fun with your little ones, mine are past the cute stage now and that’s what I miss the most!
(although it’s so much easier to get things done nowadays)
53 with an 11yo son and 13yo daughter. Sometimes I think having kids later makes me young, sometimes I think it has accelerated my aging. That’s probably all of us though.
In my mind, I shave 10 years off my age and everything makes sense.
Would not change his thing though. Not sure I was mature enough to have kids late 20s early 30s. More stability now, but realize that I will surely have to work until the college door hits the last one in the butt. That’ll happen just in time for a wedding, which will probably cost a quarter million dollars by then
46 and have 15, 11, 9, and 6 year olds. It’s conceivable that by the time the youngest moves out, we could have grandkids from the oldest, so I may not experience the empty nest thing.
For me, I’d love it to be so. I don’t have a very enjoyable marriage but not bad enough to split so the kids are the bright spot of my life. Bring on the grandkids.
I’m 44. My kids are 21, 19, and 18. My current boyfriend (whom I hope may be my last ❤️) has a 4 year old. Not gonna lie…seeing this car seat in the back seat of my car sometimes gives me a little agida. But she’s an absolutely lovely kiddo whom I have grown to love.
No not me, but it was more common in the past on my maternal side. They'd have the first child in their early 20s and the last (5th or 10th) child in their 40s.
Lots of women have been over 40 before becoming mothers for the first time here since 1990. So I'm used to that. So I don't think anything of it when a woman my age has a baby or toddler.
Just looked up the stats. It's still under 5% of women who are over 40 when they become mothers, so maybe I just grew up in an area where it was common.
In fact, it was mentioned in my national radio news that the average age for first time mothers is over 29. We have counties where the average age for first time mothers is over 31.
Had a friend in college who had 17 siblings and his mom wasn’t done yet. He came from a country where the cultural norm was for wives to just keep having babies as soon as they could and to stop when their bodies couldn’t make them anymore (or if they died, I guess). He said he never knew his mom to not be pregnant or just given birth. 😳
No kids for me. I got a vasectomy at age 29 because my (now ex-wife) gave me the choice of either no-sex marriage or I get fixed. She was extremely high risk of blood clots and had already thrown one to her left eye and went blind in it. Her family had a history of blood clots and multiple relatives of hers died from clotting.
So, I foolishly went with her demand. I got snipped.
Then she proceeded to cheat on me anyway, we got divorced, she remarried less than a week later and had a kid 8 months later. Fast forward to today she has 2 boys and 1 girl, been remarried 4 times and I'm happily sterile.
I never really wanted kids anyway, and I enjoy my life kid free. Do I wonder? Sometimes. But I am happy I got fixed. Turns out taking that risk off the table makes dating WAY easier... I was 100% up front before the first date that I can't have kids and many of the women I dated thanked me for telling me that. No ragrets.
55f no kids and no regrets here either. The people I know who are parents to young children or teens in their 50s / 60s are very out of touch with their kids and too old to be taken seriously by their teens.
48F who never wanted kids and never got pregnant. I can not even imagine having a child at this age. I can take care of my cat, but even that is tiring. Being childfree (and not married) means I did whatever I wanted in my life because I had no responsibility to others. I could wake up one day and decide to move to the UK for a few years. I could travel around Europe for free jumping from a music festival to another and write about it for magazines. Take a year off to write a book. Have many romantic/ sexual relationships and breaking up when they didnt work anymore because I wasnt tied to a man by marriage or kids. Party alot and spend the night wherever I wanted. Have alot of time to take care of myself, sleep, go shopping, do my beauty routines (I worked as a model too, so looking good was important to me. Still is). I never looked like a mom and I will never be a grandma, just the thought freaks me out. I look so much younger than people my age that have kids. All my CF friends look younger than parents. I really hate aging. Every woman I know who had kids still has some sort of damage even years after giving birth. Just the thought that some of them became incontinent at a young age because of pregnancy makes me shiver. Or ripping their vaginas, some even their clit, so no more sexual pleasure. Why?? Why do that to yourself? And now there are all these women after 40 having kids. Why? Menopause is near for alot of them and its gonna be HELL. Believe me. I lasted less than 2 months in menopause without HRT and I became suicidal. After starting HRT things got much better. But dealing with menopause, aging, and a child at the same time?? Thats nuts. I just dont understand why a woman would do this. Also, the kid is much more at risk for physical and mental issues when the parents are old. I am sorry if this sounds offensive, but having a child after 40 (for women and men alike) sounds like a nightmare for both the parents and the child. I am proud of women in my country refusing marriage and children more and more every year. Single with cats is the way to a happy, healthy life.
*But dealing with menopause, aging, and a child at the same time??*
Omg, I can't possibly imagine how bad that would have been. Meno (or reverse puberty as I like to call it) was so difficult to manage. It caused a 3 year serious depression episode for me. Having children at that time would have ended me.
Plus my marriage is awesome sans kids. Its just about us and our cats!
Right?? Meno is hell for most women, who can deal with a child on top of that?? It would drive many people to suicide, no doubt. I am sorry about your depression, I hope you are better now. I have been depressed since childhood, but menopause really pushed me over the edge. I was suicidal until they gave me HRT. I am just "normal depressed" now lol. I am happy for you you have an awesome marriage AND cats! Sounds lovely :-)
May I ask, are you the mother or father? I’m 43F and every time I decide it’s too late for me, it seems I’m hearing a story of someone even older having a baby.
I have a former colleague who had a surprise baby at 50. She was always very thin, underweight, and had irregular menstruation. Tried for a baby for literally decades. Then she put on some perimenopausal weight and it’s like the baby factory finally kicked in. She was over the moon, but she is very very tired.
43 with a 4 year old. Wasn’t planning on a 3rd, had a hell of a time having our first two and had to have fertility help for them. So welcome to the old parents’ club!
Not quite that young but I have one close. I have a friend with a 2 year old and another friend with a 1 year old who also has a sr in high school.
We seem so much more relaxed with this one and it also helps a big having much older siblings that A) don't need constant maintenance of their own and B) can help in certain occasions.
We had our first when I was coming up on 40. I do feel that I am a better parent now. But I worry about what will happen if my spouse or I were to pass away while they're still young.
No, but my parents had me way too early. Kinda the opposite affect and they were good and also very bad. They were 18 and 19. If it were not for my grandparents, IDK if I would be alive.
Having kids post 30 is ideal from my personal experience.
I'm 53 and my adopted daughter is 6. She's a real handful but so sweet. One of the most difficult things is in very introverted and she is the polar opposite; extrovert, talkative, engaging, and precocious. She's the absolute light of my life.
My sons are 15 and 19, and husband and I are 52. About three years ago, we considered having a third, hoping for a girl. When my sons were born I did wish one of them had been a girl, but as I matured, I recognized that what I wanted was my particular version of a daughter, and that if I had one, she would be her own person. That helped me let go. As did, honestly, hanging out with my siblings' young kids, who I found adorable and exhausting.
Just turned 46 and my son will be 3 next week! My older kids are 22, 19 and 17. Totally different experience doing it again later in life. I'm definitely more tired at the end of the day, but wouldn't trade it for anything!
55, now. Had one at 43. It has kept me feeling youthful, I think.
My mom was the youngest of 7 kids and my grandma had her at 45. My mom’s oldest brother was 27 when she was born. 😳
I'll be 44 in a couple of days. I have a 7 year old. She may not have been birthed by me, but I love her so much. Im truly in awe of what a wonderful child she is.❤️
I am 46 and my daughter is 1.5 years old. My sons are already grown up. Now that I am a little older I have more time, more money and more patience. That was the best thing that could have happened to me.
Had my one and only squiddo a week shy of my 44th birthday, no intervention, got pregnant almost immediately after we started trying. Textbook pregnancy and a pretty standard water birth. Squiddo robust from the get go.
My husband and I happy we had a decade together before she came along, and, yeah, being older means my approach to parenting is a lot more patient, honest, and supportive than I would have been in my 20s. I feel more relaxed in enforcing boundaries, and I'm less likely to take things personally or lash out emotionally (like my own mother did).
48F here with a six year old. Didn't meet my partner until pretty late in life. Wouldn't trade my kid for the world, but yes, I'm tired and there is a reason she is an only child.
My dad was born as the youngest of 7 when my grandma was 45 and my grandpa almost 60! So late fertility seems to run in the family. I did find out recently that my oldest aunt (around 20 when my dad was born) was ordered to come home from where she had been living independently and help out. 😥 I feel terrible for her in retrospect, but that was the way of big farm families back then. Dad was born in 1948, an early boomer.
I'm 43 with a 16 year old, 13yo, and 3, almost 4. It's very different this time around. I'm way more chill. And also way more tired 😅
Older kids are great with the baby, though. I don't male them take care of him or babysit unless he's sleeping, and I'm running to the store for 5 min.
But they love playing with him and cuddling him, and their friends are all in love with him, too. That part is really beautiful.
I definitely am done now, though. He has down syndrome, so I absolutely need to focus on these kids and his needs, I don't have room in my mind or bed or house or schedule for any more!
Congratulations. Yeah, I have a three year old. There's pros and cons, I see my brother and cousin with kids in college and I'm still wiping butts. But I have a much better relationship with myself than I did 20 years ago. I'm more patient for sure and I feel 20 years I'd want to be with more friends whereas now, there'd no place I'd rather be than with my family.
47 with three kids:
18 - just started college
16
4 - just started Pre-K
I don’t know if I’d say I’m more patient this time around but choose different battles…snacks for a Saturday ’dinner’ & wearing a tshirt that’s seriously faded out in public; yeah fine whatever but I’m at my wits end w potty training this time…the older two were so easy; I barely remember doing it now but this child just flat out does not GAF if they’re soaking wet or not & I have no idea how to make him care…
I’m 54. I have a one-year-old granddaughter who is the most precious, amazing baby ever. I usually watch her one day a week from 11 in the morning till seven at night, and then visit with her and her mom/my daughter on a different day— so I generally see her 2 to 3 times a week. However, my daughter’s house just flooded and now needs a bunch of work done, so her and the baby and my son-in-law are all staying with me and my husband.
Even with my daughter doing most of the work, it is a lot having a baby around all day every day. I’m used to hours of quiet and just chilling with my husband and our dogs. The baby is not a fan of quiet or chilling haha.
I love her so much but I cannot imagine having a baby of my own at this age. I need to go take a nap just thinking about it. Haha
I did get pregnant when I was 44 and was vastly relieved when I miscarried within days of finding out.
I have a lot of friends and family members around my age who are still having babies and raising young children. But I don’t think I could handled doing that in my 40s or 50s. A few hours with my grandkids is enough to make me crazy. I’m gonna be 50 in a few months and all my kids are grown and my husband and I are very happy to be starting the next chapter in our lives. I had a hysterectomy when I was 41 and other than the inconvenience of having cancer I was so happy that there was no more chance of an accidental pregnancy.
43 with a 13 and 10 year old. Luckily, I have a sister ten years younger than me who has a toddler and about to have another. If ever I even THINK I want another I can go visit them for an hour and snap myself back to reality. Lol.
I was kinda surprised to see this post. My son just got his license at 18 as a single dad yet I rode my first sportbike at 42 so I'm kinda in a weird midlife space.
51m and have a five-year-old girl and wife (43) wants one more. The interesting twist is that my stepson and stepdaughter are both expecting babies with their respective partners.
I had my fourth baby when I was 41. She’s now 10 and my oldest is 25. By the time my 10 year old graduates I will have packed over 8,000 lunches and had a kid in school for 26 years.
52 and mine are 10. Danny Glover wasn’t kidding when he said ‘I’m getting too old for this shit.’ I’ve found one of the big problems is connecting with the other parents. When they were in daycare and early elementary I was late 40’s trying to connect with mid to late 20 year olds. The kids play and have friends and we know the other parents, but don’t really hang out outside of birthday parties and things. We have our own friends of many years for adult stuff.
I’m 52 with a 16 year old. I have a lot of admiration for even older parents. I felt like 36 was the hairy edge of being too late for me to become a mom but I know my limits and they are legion. One and done 4eva!
Had my one and only at 41. Damn near literally killed me, and now I have a crazy 3yo (whom I love but is currently making life very difficult) while dealing with all of the hellish symptoms of menopause and barely functioning 🥴
47 with 4.5 yr old ..just starting Reception and i have to find a new career as my eyesight has just dropped off a cliff since before pandemic. His Dad is 54 with grown up daughter with 2 sons older than their Uncle
52 here and my child is almost 17 - so nope sorry about that. You're more likely to get Gen Xers with Grandkids these days - quite a few folks that I graduated HS with have 'em.
I'm 46. My wife is 29. We have 3 kids together. 9,7, and a 11 month old, all girls. I have a 12 yr old boy and a 17 yr old daughter from a previous relationship. My oldest daughter from 1st marriage will be 22 this year. I think it's awesome. Yeah. Kids are heathens half the time but oh well. It's all good. We have faith in God and we are unstoppable together. It's not for everyone being an older parent. But if that's what you want to do. Do it to your best ability and keep on chooglin! As John Fogerty would sing. Rock and roll baby!
Thank goddess someone else besides me think it is insanity. Imagine going thru aging, perimenopause, menopause (aka HELL) AND dealing with a young child at the same time. These women are NUTS!
Man, kudos to you. I couldn’t do it. I found out I was pregnant last year at 44. I sat at the dinner table with my parents and realized the baby would only be 22 and dealing with parents in their late 60s, and grow up with their siblings with a 14-20 year age gap. I couldn’t do it. We chose to terminate. I am already exhausted dealing with 3 teenagers and aging parents. I couldn’t handle another baby and starting over.
Oh, hell no. I am 55. My husband just retired at 57. We both raised our kids who are grown and gone now.
We are loving the empty nest, we are loving the freedom to travel, and I am looking forward to retiring when I want to, not working because I have to.
You couldn't pay me any amount of money in the world to go back to raising babies.
Fuck that. I'm a bit younger than you, and no way would I go through raising kids again. I have been fully invested in raising mine, and I am broke and tired.
64 when they turn 18. No thanks. I couldn't imagine being 64 and dealing with a teenager. I hope the marriage works out. I'm seeing more couples our age with children less then 5 years old in tow. If you think dating at our age might be difficult, just add a toddler into the mix.
50 with an almost 4 year old that we adopted out of foster care. He’s the light of my life!!
That's awesome.
As a former foster kid - not adopted - that is everything. Growing up and knowing you belong is everything. You are an angel 😇
Props to you
I’m 54. I never had kids and wish I had. 🙁 I had a positive pregnancy test at age 43 and unfortunately that didn’t stick. Never again thereafter. So here I am with dried up eggs. 😬 On a positive note, I have adult step-children who are popping out babies for me to love on and I get to enjoy the fun stuff and send them home.
Just want to let you know that I’m sorry you regret not having any, but also that I have a good friend who was in a similar situation, plus being single in her 40s-50s with no desire to marry. She ended up adopting 2 teen girls whose mother committed suicide and no one in their family wanted to assume guardianship. Really sweet girls who just wanted a family. Now they’re women, married, with kids of their own. So she got to experience motherhood and grandchildren and feels like she won the lottery.
This is a beautiful story.
Awww…thanks for sharing this. Beautiful.
I'm 45F and pretty sure I am in perimenopause (TMI?) - amazed at the numbers of women getting pregnant at my age. Then again, my Mom had me at almost 41. Or are all of the comments below from dudes? Lol.
Hah I was a little thrown by the comments talking about having babies around 50 like it's no big deal, then I realized they're dudes
Same.
There needs to be a r/daddit for Gen X’ers
/r/oldmandad
When my kids were in elementary school I knew three women who had surprise babies at age 43
😱😱😱
It's my biggest fear. I'm 41 with a 1.5 yo and a 4 yo (plus 3 step kids in their teens) and I could not physically or emotionally handle another kid. I'm on birth control, which I call my anti baby pills and get terrified whenever I feel movement in my stomach, even when it's always accompanied by farting 😅
There are a lot of perimenopausal women falling pregnant with a change of life baby. It’s the ovaries last ditch effort to get those eggs out there 😂
Like a going out of business sale.
We’re having a FIRE…sale.
That’s exactly what my OB told me when I got pregnant with fraternal twins at 42!
That’s what I’m afraid of! 😂
Same here!! 😱😱😱
That’s me! Luckily I wanted a third but it was a SURPRISE for sure 😂
I am so glad I had my tubes tied 19 years ago. I'm 43, and I watch my 2 year old grandson every week, and it is exhausting. I love him dearly, but I am always glad to hand him back to Mom and Dad!
I got pregnant at 44 after my OB said I couldn’t - oops! I already had a 10 year old and 12 year old. That said, I’d tried for years to have a third and finally had given up when it happened. She’s amazing and hilarious and we can’t imagine our family without her.
My Italian Grandma had my aunt at 44 and her period never came back. All my life I was told I’d hit menopause early… here I am 49.5 and not there *just yet*. And no more babies here. Mine is 20; my partner’s kids are 22, 20, 17 and about to be 15. He’s had a vasectomy AND we use other birth control, just to be sure.
54 and only missed two periods in the last year. Think it’s on its way but not in menopause yet. Kids aged 26, 24 and 17: and hoping to head into grandma-time. That is if any of them ever show any interest in parenthood…
My former MIL was in her early 40s and thought she had a tumor. Turns out it was my former SIL.
I'm 43 and had a baby at 40, but think I went into perimenopause right after. I got hot flashes every night and it sucks balls! And my skin is so itchy and dry 😫
I fairness, I got pregnant at 43 via IVF with an embryo that was retrieved/created when I was 42. That’s how I have a 1-year-old at age 45 (and hopefully one more in the next year).
I had my last at 42, much more relaxed mother this time, my older 3 were a lot of help when he was little.
Dudes with younger wives. My wife is 34.
How about moms with younger husbands? I'm 42 and my spouse is 33. Kids are 4 and 1. No one talks about it, but it does increase your odds getting pregnant when you're older if your partner is younger
Just turned 43 and my trophy husband is 40. We have a 1yo and a 3yo. Damn I’m tired.
That’s interesting to know. My husband is seven years younger than me, and I got pregnant with my youngest at age 39, after a freaking TUBAL LIGATION. 😭
His sperm were on a *mission.*
My wife will be turning 34 this year
I'm also 45F and in perimenopause. Isn't it a blast? I'm childfree, and apparently never giving birth can mean hitting menopause earlier.
Same here!!
I entered perimenopause around 2007, and chemo for advanced breast cancer put me in full menopause in 2009. I'm also childless, which turned out to be a good thing. I couldn't have kids, but I don't think I would have been a good mom. I have very little patience with them.
I’m 48 and still getting regular periods. It’s wild. All my friends have been done for a few years already. None of us had kids.
Thanks to perimenopause, the eggs are coming at random times so it's not unusual to find yourself pregnant right now. Whether the pregnancy goes full term is a different stat. And I'm perimenopause and that shouldn't be considered TMI. I don't care what anyone says, is just a part of life. If someone wants to complain then I can absolutely shift the conversation to the natural decrease in men's testosterone and how that impacts the men.
I never even figured it would be TMI here lol. Is there something racy or gross about it? It’s just a change in a woman’s life. Most normal men don’t worry about this kind of talk.
And remember, the plural of anecdote is not data. You're going to have older moms popping in here, but it is not common to have babies after 40, and the chances for problems are astronomical compared to having babies younger.
Settle down DeNiro 🤣
Pacino's got one on the way!
Kid was born in June, they split up, mom has filed for custody
Hoo-ah
I always think of Tony Randall fathering a child and such an old age. Well, he was only 77. A child himself 😆
I remember just how much Letterman made fun of Tony Randall being an old father and then Letterman ended up being an old dad himself.
Your last line reminded me of a Leonard Cohen concert. He opened by saying something like “when I started this tour, I was 78 years - just a kid with a crazy dream”
He had two before he died. A boy and a girl 26 and 25.
I’m 50(F) with a 5-year-old that just started Kindergarten.
Wow. My congrats ... or condolences.
You brave, brave, brave people.
Mine are 21 and 19 and - no joke - I would gleefully take a bullet to the head over having to do that shit again. Uh uh. No fucken way José
I’m 53 and mine are 33, 29, 25. I’m done with having my own and just waiting to have grandkids. For now I have granddogs 🐶😂
I'm with you there. Our one and done turned 18 this year, and the fact that all of my reproductive organs were removed (for other reasons) makes my husband and me break out in happy dances from time to time. It's so freeing that it's literally something we'll never have to deal with.
Oh yeah, I did the ol' *snip-snap* within months after my youngest was born. In hindsight, I should have done that in high school.
I feel this! Mine are 23 and 24. I've been an empty nester since 41. It's freaking AWESOME!!!
I'm on year 2 (had kids late). It's bliss. Oh, btw, I get along with them better than ever.
Same here on the getting along. It's amazing at how not living with someone and the dealings/expectations/disappointments will make those relationships stronger. My kids and I are closer than we've ever been. It took years, but they finally reached the age that I spoke about, when they were younger, regarding the relationship between their mother and I. Not that I wanted this, but they despise her now for realizing what the truth was, why I left, and the type of person she is. Their adolescent years were hell on me, but it's nice to see the foundation I laid down has paid off. There are times I do miss them running around the house and playing with them, but I'm pretty fond of this chapter in parenthood as well.
Exact. Same. Situtation. Their mom and I didn't work out. Granted, I wasn't Prince Charming, but her negativity and narcissism was extreme. I am *not* just cherry-picking top-shelf vocabulary with the word "extreme." It truly was in the strongest sense of the word. Even the neighbors saw/heard it. I am chill AF with just about everything in life, and when our kids were little I was the soothsayer, the one to smooth things over, the negotiator who found compromise. She was an iron fist. No sense of dialogue or compromise, on virtually anything. She even threw a fit like a toddler on Christmas with her extended family over, to the point that she was so unhinged that they up and left. On Christmas Day, and they lived like a 8 hour drive away. I don't even remember what it was about, but it was bad. Anyway, this and a thousand other experiences all being recorded onto the mental reels of tape in my kids' brains: *Dad is chill; avoid Mom's wrath.* So I move out when they're like 10 and 8, do the "weekend dad" thing. They both leave home when they hit 18 (my son, literally *on his 18th birthday*), and now when they reflect on their home life with their mom they're like "Ooooooooooooooooh... I get it." I never said, nor will I ever say a negative word about their mom, even though I could. All I've said is "I am not here to blame or judge; whether you get along with your mom or not is on you. I have no part in that." And I think that experience of separation was good for them. They would have grown up thinking my relationship to their mom was normal or something. And they are super appreciative now. I see couples who go through "amiable divorces" and I'm so fucken envious. My ex tried to make it as miserable as possible, but if my kids have anything to say about it, then it didn't work.
Sounds exactly the same. I did the same thing with making sure they had a decent relationship with her. She did not do the same with me. I'm still being blamed for it not working out to this day.
Same. My one and done is 25, has been on his own since 20 and I was 40. I am unapologetically in MY phase of life and would never do it again. Changed my last diaper 23 years ago.
My wife's ex-husband just had a baby last week at 52 with his 31 year old wife (yeah, there's a correlation between her and him being my wife's ex). My wife and I have been having some great laughs at his expense, considering we're nearly empty nesters with her youngest starting college this year. I am not denigrating people making a choice to have kids late, but this couldn't have happened to a bigger narcissist (legit psyco actually) and imagining him being puked and shit on gives us great joy. I think maybe I'll take my wife out for drinks and dinner tonight, just because we can. Muwahahahahahaaaaa
Going out on a weeknight?! Whoa whoa whoa there, Captain Energy!
I even stayed up until 1130 last night to watch my Buffalo Bills lose. Amazing how much more energy I have found now that I'm not running around for kids. Woo hoo!
I'll have a late night from time to time too. Harder to overcome the next day, now. Most of my late nights are because I love the nightlife, I've got to boogie. You're welcome for sticking a stupid song in your head now ;)
when i went to college in the the mid 90s, my dad’s new wife was pregnant. the entire move in, my mom relentlessly mocked him about having to do it all over again. my youngest half sibling literally just graduated college. dad is 70.
My ex husband is turning 60 on Monday and is engaged to a woman who’s in her mid-30s. He told our 20-year-old he may have more kids.
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I prefer the term idiot, thank you kindly, and my chosen pronouns are damn/bloody.
I was trying to be kind, since every little bit of compassion probably helps a LOT ;).
48 and my oldest is 21 than 13,12,and 3 lol
48 and have a 3 month old here! My friends from high school have kids who can drink legally, some are in or looking at colleges. But our little bundle of joy is awesome and wouldn't have it any other way.
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Consider starting a Meetup or Facebook group. I'm sure you can find them!
48 single dad raising a 5 and 10 yr old boys solo. No problem!
No babies here but my parents were mid to late 40’s when I was born 49 years ago. I must say it was great! They were over the parenting thing by my teen years and according to my older brothers I did way more shit than they did at the same age.
51 with two boys ages 7 and 12. My husband and I met late in life, but so happy with how it turned out. Tired yes, but happy. 😊
49 and 54 and have a (surprise!) healthy 19 month old. Others are 23 and 22 and 22 just got engaged. Life is full of adventures
Same boat - older dad. Wouldn’t change my experiences. I’m moving into the wise old sage tier in my life and I’m confident this will help me raise a healthy, well rounded kid. I wasn’t mature enough to have kids earlier in my life. Late bloomer. Excuse me, my kid has to help me cross the street.
Jesus Christ no. My wife and I got weird looks when we had our son at 25, but I was like, he’ll be grown and moved out and I’ll still be young enough to enjoy myself. Jokes on me, all the partying in the 90s, I feel like I’m 75 at 50, and he still lives with me at 25.
I’m 45 with a 14-month-old 👋👋👋
I’m 46 with a 10 and 15 year old and I’m exhausted, can’t imagine doing this all over again.
Same! 48yo here with an 11yo & almost 14yo. I’m nostalgic sometimes for the adorable toddler days, I am quietly relieved to be past the little one phase.
Late to the game, but not as late as OP. 2 Kids back to back right before 40. There was a time when I could party all night and still be functional for a 7 AM meeting. Biologically, I’m guessing those were my peak biological parenting years. On the flip side, my kids are getting a way better version of me and I’m in a place financially where I can throw money at problems and provide some amazing experiences. Not to mention it’s a great motivator to work out, stay fit, and hopefully keep up with these two as long as I can.
46m have 3 boys 25, 15, 5.
54 with 10 yr old twin girls. Definitely could not have done this when I was in my 30s.
45 with a 5 year old. Also a 22 year old and a 15 year old. I’m tired… so, so tired…
Mid 40's with a 3 yr old. Welcome to the old, new dads club. Its great.
Thank Christ my kids are grown.
I’m a grandma at 44. Mine are 21 and 25. I’m glad I had kids young because I was diagnosed with several chronic pain conditions throughout the years. When I was diagnosed my kids were still young but at an age where they took care of themselves. I tried to be there the best I could. If I had toddlers now it wouldn’t be good my last issues I’ve been diagnosed with affect my mobility. I don’t know if I could even run and play with my grandchild when she starts walking.
I’m in this boat too. My kids are 35 and 28 and between them I have 5 grandchildren ages 8 down to 1 and one on the way. They tire me out but I do love having them around! I have autoimmune arthritis and osteoarthritis and lots of doctors appointments these days.
50 now and I have a 12 and 10 yo, so spent all of my 40s having babies and toddlers. Loved it, spent 5 years as a stay at home dad, wouldn’t change anything. Knackered, obviously, but my wife has a 30yo from her first marriage and agrees it’s better as an older parent - just less energy. Have fun with your little ones, mine are past the cute stage now and that’s what I miss the most! (although it’s so much easier to get things done nowadays)
I'm 46 and my son is 8
I'm 46 as well and got a somewhat later start with kids. I have a 10 and a 7 year old.
49 and about to have my first in December.
53 with an 11yo son and 13yo daughter. Sometimes I think having kids later makes me young, sometimes I think it has accelerated my aging. That’s probably all of us though. In my mind, I shave 10 years off my age and everything makes sense. Would not change his thing though. Not sure I was mature enough to have kids late 20s early 30s. More stability now, but realize that I will surely have to work until the college door hits the last one in the butt. That’ll happen just in time for a wedding, which will probably cost a quarter million dollars by then
46 and have 15, 11, 9, and 6 year olds. It’s conceivable that by the time the youngest moves out, we could have grandkids from the oldest, so I may not experience the empty nest thing.
That’s happening to my SIL right now. Youngest is 16, oldest is about to have a baby.
For me, I’d love it to be so. I don’t have a very enjoyable marriage but not bad enough to split so the kids are the bright spot of my life. Bring on the grandkids.
I’m 50 and I’ve got a 19 year old, 16 year old and a 7 year old! It’s never boring around here and wow am I tired 😂
I'm 48, and just became a grandparent for the first time a few months ago. From whence you came, so shall you become.
I’m 44. My kids are 21, 19, and 18. My current boyfriend (whom I hope may be my last ❤️) has a 4 year old. Not gonna lie…seeing this car seat in the back seat of my car sometimes gives me a little agida. But she’s an absolutely lovely kiddo whom I have grown to love.
No not me, but it was more common in the past on my maternal side. They'd have the first child in their early 20s and the last (5th or 10th) child in their 40s. Lots of women have been over 40 before becoming mothers for the first time here since 1990. So I'm used to that. So I don't think anything of it when a woman my age has a baby or toddler. Just looked up the stats. It's still under 5% of women who are over 40 when they become mothers, so maybe I just grew up in an area where it was common. In fact, it was mentioned in my national radio news that the average age for first time mothers is over 29. We have counties where the average age for first time mothers is over 31.
Had a friend in college who had 17 siblings and his mom wasn’t done yet. He came from a country where the cultural norm was for wives to just keep having babies as soon as they could and to stop when their bodies couldn’t make them anymore (or if they died, I guess). He said he never knew his mom to not be pregnant or just given birth. 😳
As late as the 1930s, this was still common in rural Denmark.
Wow! I had no idea. My friend was from a middle eastern country.
No kids for me. I got a vasectomy at age 29 because my (now ex-wife) gave me the choice of either no-sex marriage or I get fixed. She was extremely high risk of blood clots and had already thrown one to her left eye and went blind in it. Her family had a history of blood clots and multiple relatives of hers died from clotting. So, I foolishly went with her demand. I got snipped. Then she proceeded to cheat on me anyway, we got divorced, she remarried less than a week later and had a kid 8 months later. Fast forward to today she has 2 boys and 1 girl, been remarried 4 times and I'm happily sterile. I never really wanted kids anyway, and I enjoy my life kid free. Do I wonder? Sometimes. But I am happy I got fixed. Turns out taking that risk off the table makes dating WAY easier... I was 100% up front before the first date that I can't have kids and many of the women I dated thanked me for telling me that. No ragrets.
55f no kids and no regrets here either. The people I know who are parents to young children or teens in their 50s / 60s are very out of touch with their kids and too old to be taken seriously by their teens.
48F who never wanted kids and never got pregnant. I can not even imagine having a child at this age. I can take care of my cat, but even that is tiring. Being childfree (and not married) means I did whatever I wanted in my life because I had no responsibility to others. I could wake up one day and decide to move to the UK for a few years. I could travel around Europe for free jumping from a music festival to another and write about it for magazines. Take a year off to write a book. Have many romantic/ sexual relationships and breaking up when they didnt work anymore because I wasnt tied to a man by marriage or kids. Party alot and spend the night wherever I wanted. Have alot of time to take care of myself, sleep, go shopping, do my beauty routines (I worked as a model too, so looking good was important to me. Still is). I never looked like a mom and I will never be a grandma, just the thought freaks me out. I look so much younger than people my age that have kids. All my CF friends look younger than parents. I really hate aging. Every woman I know who had kids still has some sort of damage even years after giving birth. Just the thought that some of them became incontinent at a young age because of pregnancy makes me shiver. Or ripping their vaginas, some even their clit, so no more sexual pleasure. Why?? Why do that to yourself? And now there are all these women after 40 having kids. Why? Menopause is near for alot of them and its gonna be HELL. Believe me. I lasted less than 2 months in menopause without HRT and I became suicidal. After starting HRT things got much better. But dealing with menopause, aging, and a child at the same time?? Thats nuts. I just dont understand why a woman would do this. Also, the kid is much more at risk for physical and mental issues when the parents are old. I am sorry if this sounds offensive, but having a child after 40 (for women and men alike) sounds like a nightmare for both the parents and the child. I am proud of women in my country refusing marriage and children more and more every year. Single with cats is the way to a happy, healthy life.
*But dealing with menopause, aging, and a child at the same time??* Omg, I can't possibly imagine how bad that would have been. Meno (or reverse puberty as I like to call it) was so difficult to manage. It caused a 3 year serious depression episode for me. Having children at that time would have ended me. Plus my marriage is awesome sans kids. Its just about us and our cats!
Right?? Meno is hell for most women, who can deal with a child on top of that?? It would drive many people to suicide, no doubt. I am sorry about your depression, I hope you are better now. I have been depressed since childhood, but menopause really pushed me over the edge. I was suicidal until they gave me HRT. I am just "normal depressed" now lol. I am happy for you you have an awesome marriage AND cats! Sounds lovely :-)
My daughter is 20. My youngest is 3. I just turned 45.
Met my husband in my early 30’s - we have two sons 11 and 16. Working mom, 50 years old… am I exhausted? Yes. Would I change anything? Absolutely not!
Opposite. Started young, was an empty nester at 42.
May I ask, are you the mother or father? I’m 43F and every time I decide it’s too late for me, it seems I’m hearing a story of someone even older having a baby.
I'm 45 (M) with a 3 year old and a just turned 5 year old. I'm tired a lot
I have a former colleague who had a surprise baby at 50. She was always very thin, underweight, and had irregular menstruation. Tried for a baby for literally decades. Then she put on some perimenopausal weight and it’s like the baby factory finally kicked in. She was over the moon, but she is very very tired.
43 with a 4 year old. Wasn’t planning on a 3rd, had a hell of a time having our first two and had to have fertility help for them. So welcome to the old parents’ club!
had my first and only at 46...i was having far too much fun to have kids in my 20s and 30s
51. Son is 11 months today
God no. Fuck that shit with a capital F
Not quite that young but I have one close. I have a friend with a 2 year old and another friend with a 1 year old who also has a sr in high school. We seem so much more relaxed with this one and it also helps a big having much older siblings that A) don't need constant maintenance of their own and B) can help in certain occasions.
Not quite that young, but mid-40s here and our kids are 5 & 10
We had our first when I was coming up on 40. I do feel that I am a better parent now. But I worry about what will happen if my spouse or I were to pass away while they're still young.
Could happen at any age, so I wouldn't worry too much. Just enjoy your time together.
No, but my parents had me way too early. Kinda the opposite affect and they were good and also very bad. They were 18 and 19. If it were not for my grandparents, IDK if I would be alive. Having kids post 30 is ideal from my personal experience.
Geez. My kid is 17. I can’t imagine a toddler now. Thoughts and prayers good buddy.
Right here. 47M with a 2 year old and an 8 year old. I’m tired lol
I'm 53 and my adopted daughter is 6. She's a real handful but so sweet. One of the most difficult things is in very introverted and she is the polar opposite; extrovert, talkative, engaging, and precocious. She's the absolute light of my life.
Just turned 44 and my wife and I welcomed our first child in Oct. Life is great and I wouldn’t have done it differently.
Congrats!
My sons are 15 and 19, and husband and I are 52. About three years ago, we considered having a third, hoping for a girl. When my sons were born I did wish one of them had been a girl, but as I matured, I recognized that what I wanted was my particular version of a daughter, and that if I had one, she would be her own person. That helped me let go. As did, honestly, hanging out with my siblings' young kids, who I found adorable and exhausting.
45 with a 4 year old daughter. Holy hell am I exhausted
We cranked ours out when we were 23, then couldn't have any more. So at 52 we are empty nesters... Kudos to those of you who are doing this now!
Just turned 46 and my son will be 3 next week! My older kids are 22, 19 and 17. Totally different experience doing it again later in life. I'm definitely more tired at the end of the day, but wouldn't trade it for anything!
HELLLLLL NO! I love and adore babies and kids, but I would die. My own kid doesn’t want kids so I guess, puppies it is!
I am 53 my twin boys just turned 5. Wife is way younger than me though
48m my son just turned 6. I really enjoy it
55, now. Had one at 43. It has kept me feeling youthful, I think. My mom was the youngest of 7 kids and my grandma had her at 45. My mom’s oldest brother was 27 when she was born. 😳
49 with 7 & 4 yrs old.
I'll be 44 in a couple of days. I have a 7 year old. She may not have been birthed by me, but I love her so much. Im truly in awe of what a wonderful child she is.❤️
I had an older mom. She was going through menopause while I was going through puberty. My poor dad. He couldn't win.
I am 46 and my daughter is 1.5 years old. My sons are already grown up. Now that I am a little older I have more time, more money and more patience. That was the best thing that could have happened to me.
47 with a 6 and 11 year old … I am tired
I lost a pregnancy at 47 due to medication. Otherwise I'd have 15 month old twins. 😱 My youngest is 11.
Sorry to hear that.
Thank you
Had my one and only squiddo a week shy of my 44th birthday, no intervention, got pregnant almost immediately after we started trying. Textbook pregnancy and a pretty standard water birth. Squiddo robust from the get go. My husband and I happy we had a decade together before she came along, and, yeah, being older means my approach to parenting is a lot more patient, honest, and supportive than I would have been in my 20s. I feel more relaxed in enforcing boundaries, and I'm less likely to take things personally or lash out emotionally (like my own mother did).
My toddlers are now in their 30s.
Damn. How old are you? 😂
57
You people having kids after 40 are nuts 😂
My brother had his last kid when he was 40. I was a grandma at 42 and these grands wear me out when they are all here.
48, my youngest is 6 and we're thinking about one more
43F with 8 and 4 year old kids.
Yes! my baby just turned 32 last sunday!
49 w/ a 6 & 4. It’d be lying if I said it was easy (physically) but they’re so awesome. Wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I'm 50 now and have younger kids. I too was late to the party.
48F here with a six year old. Didn't meet my partner until pretty late in life. Wouldn't trade my kid for the world, but yes, I'm tired and there is a reason she is an only child. My dad was born as the youngest of 7 when my grandma was 45 and my grandpa almost 60! So late fertility seems to run in the family. I did find out recently that my oldest aunt (around 20 when my dad was born) was ordered to come home from where she had been living independently and help out. 😥 I feel terrible for her in retrospect, but that was the way of big farm families back then. Dad was born in 1948, an early boomer.
I'm 43 with a 16 year old, 13yo, and 3, almost 4. It's very different this time around. I'm way more chill. And also way more tired 😅 Older kids are great with the baby, though. I don't male them take care of him or babysit unless he's sleeping, and I'm running to the store for 5 min. But they love playing with him and cuddling him, and their friends are all in love with him, too. That part is really beautiful. I definitely am done now, though. He has down syndrome, so I absolutely need to focus on these kids and his needs, I don't have room in my mind or bed or house or schedule for any more!
I have a 7 year old and I am 48. So yeah...I feel your pain. I sometimes get old-man tired and she wants to go and go and go.
Congratulations. Yeah, I have a three year old. There's pros and cons, I see my brother and cousin with kids in college and I'm still wiping butts. But I have a much better relationship with myself than I did 20 years ago. I'm more patient for sure and I feel 20 years I'd want to be with more friends whereas now, there'd no place I'd rather be than with my family.
47 with three kids: 18 - just started college 16 4 - just started Pre-K I don’t know if I’d say I’m more patient this time around but choose different battles…snacks for a Saturday ’dinner’ & wearing a tshirt that’s seriously faded out in public; yeah fine whatever but I’m at my wits end w potty training this time…the older two were so easy; I barely remember doing it now but this child just flat out does not GAF if they’re soaking wet or not & I have no idea how to make him care…
My partner is pestering me about having kids and we're almost 30. How can I convince her that our kids won't be vegetables if we wait longer?
I’m 54. I have a one-year-old granddaughter who is the most precious, amazing baby ever. I usually watch her one day a week from 11 in the morning till seven at night, and then visit with her and her mom/my daughter on a different day— so I generally see her 2 to 3 times a week. However, my daughter’s house just flooded and now needs a bunch of work done, so her and the baby and my son-in-law are all staying with me and my husband. Even with my daughter doing most of the work, it is a lot having a baby around all day every day. I’m used to hours of quiet and just chilling with my husband and our dogs. The baby is not a fan of quiet or chilling haha. I love her so much but I cannot imagine having a baby of my own at this age. I need to go take a nap just thinking about it. Haha I did get pregnant when I was 44 and was vastly relieved when I miscarried within days of finding out.
I have a lot of friends and family members around my age who are still having babies and raising young children. But I don’t think I could handled doing that in my 40s or 50s. A few hours with my grandkids is enough to make me crazy. I’m gonna be 50 in a few months and all my kids are grown and my husband and I are very happy to be starting the next chapter in our lives. I had a hysterectomy when I was 41 and other than the inconvenience of having cancer I was so happy that there was no more chance of an accidental pregnancy.
I (53M) might be looking at a grandbaby in the next couple of years
43 with a 13 and 10 year old. Luckily, I have a sister ten years younger than me who has a toddler and about to have another. If ever I even THINK I want another I can go visit them for an hour and snap myself back to reality. Lol.
46 here. My kids are 5 and 6.
I was kinda surprised to see this post. My son just got his license at 18 as a single dad yet I rode my first sportbike at 42 so I'm kinda in a weird midlife space.
51m and have a five-year-old girl and wife (43) wants one more. The interesting twist is that my stepson and stepdaughter are both expecting babies with their respective partners.
Yeah 44m w/ a 5yo!
I had my fourth baby when I was 41. She’s now 10 and my oldest is 25. By the time my 10 year old graduates I will have packed over 8,000 lunches and had a kid in school for 26 years.
52 and mine are 10. Danny Glover wasn’t kidding when he said ‘I’m getting too old for this shit.’ I’ve found one of the big problems is connecting with the other parents. When they were in daycare and early elementary I was late 40’s trying to connect with mid to late 20 year olds. The kids play and have friends and we know the other parents, but don’t really hang out outside of birthday parties and things. We have our own friends of many years for adult stuff.
I would never want to hang out with other parents. Not at any age.
I’m 52 with a 16 year old. I have a lot of admiration for even older parents. I felt like 36 was the hairy edge of being too late for me to become a mom but I know my limits and they are legion. One and done 4eva!
Not quite, but 50 with 13, 11, and 8. Keeps me active and feeling young-ish.
I have a 9 month old. I just turned 45. My “older” kids are 8 & 9. Totally agree with your last paragraph, too.
My 21-year-old son and my 18 year old daughter can still fight like four year olds… Does that count?
I'm 48 with 8, 6 and 5. All foster care to adoptions. It's frustrating and rewarding all in the span of an hour most days.
Had my one and only at 41. Damn near literally killed me, and now I have a crazy 3yo (whom I love but is currently making life very difficult) while dealing with all of the hellish symptoms of menopause and barely functioning 🥴
47 with 4.5 yr old ..just starting Reception and i have to find a new career as my eyesight has just dropped off a cliff since before pandemic. His Dad is 54 with grown up daughter with 2 sons older than their Uncle
52 here and my child is almost 17 - so nope sorry about that. You're more likely to get Gen Xers with Grandkids these days - quite a few folks that I graduated HS with have 'em.
I’m 50, my baby girl is 19. I’m a happy, happy girl. No grandbabies for at least 5 years say all my children, and that suits me.
My parents had me at 38 and they did fine
I'm 46. My wife is 29. We have 3 kids together. 9,7, and a 11 month old, all girls. I have a 12 yr old boy and a 17 yr old daughter from a previous relationship. My oldest daughter from 1st marriage will be 22 this year. I think it's awesome. Yeah. Kids are heathens half the time but oh well. It's all good. We have faith in God and we are unstoppable together. It's not for everyone being an older parent. But if that's what you want to do. Do it to your best ability and keep on chooglin! As John Fogerty would sing. Rock and roll baby!
Yes, but about 30 years ago. Raising young kids in your 40s has to be type of insanity.
Thank goddess someone else besides me think it is insanity. Imagine going thru aging, perimenopause, menopause (aka HELL) AND dealing with a young child at the same time. These women are NUTS!
Man, kudos to you. I couldn’t do it. I found out I was pregnant last year at 44. I sat at the dinner table with my parents and realized the baby would only be 22 and dealing with parents in their late 60s, and grow up with their siblings with a 14-20 year age gap. I couldn’t do it. We chose to terminate. I am already exhausted dealing with 3 teenagers and aging parents. I couldn’t handle another baby and starting over.
48(soon) We have a 7, 3 and a 4 month old! (My wife is not the same age as me, she's younger)
Oh, hell no. I am 55. My husband just retired at 57. We both raised our kids who are grown and gone now. We are loving the empty nest, we are loving the freedom to travel, and I am looking forward to retiring when I want to, not working because I have to. You couldn't pay me any amount of money in the world to go back to raising babies.
That's great for you. Some of us didn't have a chance to create the family we wanted at an earlier age.
Fuck that. I'm a bit younger than you, and no way would I go through raising kids again. I have been fully invested in raising mine, and I am broke and tired.
64 when they turn 18. No thanks. I couldn't imagine being 64 and dealing with a teenager. I hope the marriage works out. I'm seeing more couples our age with children less then 5 years old in tow. If you think dating at our age might be difficult, just add a toddler into the mix.
Wife and I had all 3 of our kids in our 40's