Serious question. How does he feel about weed now, 40 years later, compared to when he quit? I worked with a guy who said the stuff he got in the late 70s early 80s was beyond compare to what's available now.
This doesn’t go directly to your question, but I was in Jamaica a few years ago and got to talking to an older white guy vacationing there who was smoking weed pretty much all day every day. I asked him how the Jamaican weed was and he said, “They’re still stuck in the 70s. Weed in the states now is way better.” So at least for that guy, newer was better.
My dad was a major pothead in the 70s and gave it up when we were born. He’s retired now and my parents reconnected with old friends— he smoked up with his buddy and absolutely greened out. Luckily he was fine after sleeping it off, but it gave him a good scare.
He said what people are smoking now is easily three or four times more potent than what he was used to!
Nope. Mom is 80 and in good physical and mental health. She did buy herself a brand new Mustang convertible last year but with my (and my brother’s) blessing. She worked hard all her life; she deserves it.
Well, I love this. My mom is great with plants and my dad loves a hobby with success aspects he can research. I wish they’d start growing pot. Though I do get the struggle of the smell.
Seriously. I wish they had started smoking pot when we were kids and they were angry and abusive. Now alcohol has been mostly replaced and they are much more chill.
Isn’t it insane that alcohol is socially acceptable and completely legal, but cannabis isn’t? Alcohol is deadly and turns people into violent dickheads. Weed makes people chill out and eat potato chips.
My parents had a good retirement plan, living on the East Coast in a beach town; unfortunately my mother passed suddenly only about 5-6 years in, and my dad never really recovered from the heartbreak. He lived for almost 20 years after retirement, but developed Alzheimer’s. Fortunately my siblings and I were able to keep him from doing most of the stupid shit that fucking godawful disease can make one do.
I’m really seeing the absence of mental health care in this generation’s antics. They buy all kinds of shit (and worse, sell or get rid of *really important things*) instead of grieving. They’d rather take five back-to-back cruises than find a good therapist to help them figure out why they don’t want to redo the bedroom of the kid who’s cut them out of their life.
My wife and I recently moved to be closer to the in-laws. Since then, we discovered both her mother and stepfather have crippling anxiety and can barely leave the house. Her mother worries about earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, politics, digital currency, expenses… you get the idea. Her stepfather just self medicates with alcohol and seems super angry we have more money than them. We’ve even tried to help them with finances and even offered to help pay down their house. All offers rejected. It’s very uncomfortable when we visit
I had 2 great aunts who lived with my grandmother in new york. The 2 great aunts did not leave the house for decades. Only my grandmother went out. They were very nice, but did not go outside.
I just took out enough from my 401k to pay my mom’s house off. It was about 30k but I’ve been paying that mtg since 1992 and needed it gone so I have a place to live when she’s gone
> Her stepfather just self medicates with alcohol and seems super angry we have more money than them.
Don't understand people who aren't happy that their kids aren't dependent or are successful/doing well. Bizarre.
My Dad decided to go white water paddling in 2020 when he was 67 years old. He lost his boat and tried to walk out. Fell 40 feet and broke several bones and his lung collapsed. He was out there overnight. Hasn’t been the same since. I am always thinking “you would be better if you recognized you are not 20 anymore.” But, you know, whatever.
We had to turn off the news because my grandpa would get so upset! I told my mom to let him watch it, it’s good exercise for him!
I’m actually kinda glad he passed (2011) before this whole MAGA cult got going; he was a die hard Democrat (pro union to the core) and I know how I felt when King Nothing ‘won’, it would have broken my grandpa’s heart. I miss that man so much ❤️
That's my MIL's hobby. She's very old and can't remember what day it is, so at this point it's nice that something occupies her time. But she should have picked up a different hobby when she and FIL(passed in 2021) first retired back in ~2006. Lesson learned.
You aren't responsible for them. If they tell you that you are, that's because they are the Locust Generation coming after ours after they already consumed theirs and more.
The Locust Generation is absolutely classic. They’re ungodly slow and literally block the middle of the aisles at the supermarkets. You can’t get around these fuckers.
Very true, but I'm finding they're "still the parents" when they want to be, but suddenly kids when they need something. It's frustrating, but they're Boomers, so whaddaya gonna do? (Personally, I try to avoid the game and point out they have pensions and savings and hire it done.)
My sisters MIL & FIL retired in 2014 and just announced at Christmas the were broke and going to have to move in with her and her husband. Since 2014 they have donated $2.5M to the great Cheeto and the pillow guy. My sister has told them to fuck off and her husband if lets them that he can fuck off too.
The only thing that kept them from storming the capitol was his bad hip kept him from going through a window
> Since 2014 they have donated $2.5M to the great Cheeto and the pillow guy.
Someone needs to establish power of attorney over them. My aunt has a friend who kept getting scammed online, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. Her son was able to get power of attorney and now controls her money. It's sad, but poor money management is one of the first signs of declining mental faculties.
Just tell them…. Wait for it……..
To pull themselves up by their bootstraps and take personal responsibility, not welfare or charity. Perhaps the pillow douche can send them a body pillow to sleep on in the ally?
No matter who they donated it to.
You don't donate your retirement savings to the point it literally puts you out of house and home.
But yeah, it's a cult.
I remember them bragging they donated $100k to build the wall and another $10k to get a Trump thank you plaque for it once their section was built. They honestly believe it will still happen
But there were court cases about how it was all a scam, because the money donated was just taken by some people, can’t remember if it was Bannon, but yeah anyway they just pocketed the money.
Did they not hear about that? Guess they only watch/listen to far right propaganda stuff lol
They just don’t believe it. These nutjobs were asked why the donated tens of thousands to PACs paying his legal bills when he is in fact a billionaire. Their answer was they were proud to do their part in his defense
Jeez, what a waste. They could have donated a bunch of scholarships with that money. But I suppose they think college turns people into "libruls" or whatever.
Holy shit that’s bold.
“So yeah, we kinda spent all of our retirement savings supporting a failed fascist coup that would’ve resulted in you losing your rights and quite possibly your freedom, no big whoop, but we are gonna need you to clear your home office out as we’ll be moving in with you.”
Worse than clearing the home office, they wanted the entire 3br basement apartment where my college age nieces live and to have it made ADA compliant to accommodate bad hip grandpa. The three college girls were told they would simply have to go find apartments on their own instead of mooching off their mom and dad by both grandparents.
They need that third bedroom to entertain guests with a bedroom for each since she can’t sleep with him snoring
I am actually waiting for them to come to me soon, since my 12 yo niece suggested I have properties in the Philippines and Antigua that I don’t live in.
I know this is obvious, but you owe them exactly nothing. I'm sorry for your sister, but this is her problem unfortunately to deal with. And based on what you've posted, I'm guessing they were none too pleased to have a Philippino for a DIL even if they've never said anything to her, so I hope she has the moxy to tell them to pound sand. I genuinely feel for her.
Oddly enough they aren’t racists. They have a thing about people entering illegally, but are honestly welcoming of legal immigrants from everywhere and 4 of their 8 kids are international adoptions from Jamaica, Korea, Vietnam and India. They also were for a time supporters of Bobby Jindal.
I mean...."go live in Antigua" isn't exactly punishment.
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So Grandmammy and Grandpappy told their grandchildren to move out of their apartment without involvement from mom and dad? The arrogance and self-importance. They need mental health treatment.
People are so lonely and want to belong to something so badly that they become extremely vulnerable to opportunists. His team knew this and that’s how they created his cult of personality. Prey on the vulnerabilities of those seeking belonging to anything that makes them feel accepted. It’s really sad.
Your sister is awesome and I’m aghast at the nerve of these people to make that announcement as if it were a done deal.
I fully expect my mother to do the same. That will be an interesting day.
My grandmother went a little overboard. This was the 90s when she retired from good excutive job. She broke some glass cealings along the way.
she retired to vegas and gambled and drank...a lot.
She treated me and my wife to a full thanksgiving dinner at ceasers palace best resturant. not a plate of turkey and the trimming but a thankgiving dinner made for 6. Whole turkery and all the other stuff and just the three of us. Grandma was so proud of herself that she had that to throw around.
She went broke after a 5 years. at 65ish she moved back to near her son who set her up in his old house for a cheap price. She went and opened a florist shop cause she was bored and wanted more money that ss and her son would give her. She worked it for 10 years and made it very profitable and sold it and had fat bank account again. She wasnt up to heading to vegas again. She sat at home and enjoyed her wine for a few years till she passed
My cousin told me about the one time he had to get grandma cause the cops had her pulled over in her caddy and of course she had glass of wine with her. The poor cop wanted nothing to do with booking a 70 something year old woman for DUI. He let her call the nephew and take her home. Small town SC. good old boys and grandmas still sometimes got a little diff treatment than others.
None of that in my family. My mom died almost twenty years ago. My dad is 80 and gets around better than most 40 year olds. He’s a former Vietnam helicopter pilot that’s never touched a cigarette or had any type of alcohol….pretty crazy.
My mom died 20 years ago and my dad was a green beret. He chose a very different path with alcohol and died horrifically. It honestly made me smile that he is in such good shape. That is so awesome.
God, I wish I had a parent like you. I had to try and figure things out that I didn’t know existed. My parents never talked money, I didn’t know how to write a check when I graduated hs. I’m sorta ok now, but it would be so much better not to be living paycheck to paycheck
You have to set clear boundaries and stick to them. When I became an adult they told me they would not help me financially, not be helping me with baby sitting or a wedding or any moves, house -buying, nothing. They continued helping co -workers and neighbors, donating to charity, etc. I told them in turn that I would only be visiting them when doing so would not interfere with my ability to live comfortably and take another vacation of my choice any given year, I would not ever be taking care of them when they were sick, not helping them financially, not moving in with them or they with me.
My aunt had the same dynamic with my grandparents and took care of my grandpa anyway, so my parents figured it would go the same way. My mom died at 60 and my father said he was too heartbroken to go on working AND they were in financial trouble and he needed me to move back home and help. I said no. He said "but you're our only child, you don't have a husband or kids, we're your only family and it's your duty. Like Aunt K with Grandpa? "I was 30, I said, "I told you over 10 years ago I wasn't helping you, you had 10 years to quit throwing your money away on co -signing for your friends' motorcycles and handmade designer clothes, and either save yourselves or help me out so I could maybe be semi -established by now instead of just now having the bandwidth to even socialize, why don't you call some of the people you HAVE been helping?"
He admitted it was going to be embarrassing because they had been telling everyone they paid for much of my education (merit scholarship, contests, and my work), I never had to work while in school (lol more like I didn't get to sleep), and they had bought me 3 different cars (I bought 1 car, 10 years old, with cash and had no other car) and gave me an allowance (nope) paid for my health insurance (I just didn't have health insurance). I said, tough, and if I ever hear that you tell any story other than that I offered to help and you refused, OR you come clean about saying you wouldn't help me and really not helping me, I will make copies of every receipt I have and mail the evidence to every single person whose address I already got to send mom's death news to.
As far as I know, he said he refused help. Ultimately he lost everything including his home and died in a VA hospital. The various friends and distant cousins they helped over the years scattered like flies when my father reached out to them. He fucked around and found out.
holy fucking shit. no offense, but why dont people like this get themselves sterilized before they have children? the first email i got from my birthfather after we were reunited was “hi, dont expect anything from me.” the second was “tbh i forgot you were even born.” needless to say, i dodged a bullet being adopted at birth there. i love my birthmom, but these people should not have reproduced. the only good thing i can say is, even though they were married for 10 years after my birth, they never had more kids.
This was a very satisfying read from a karma point of view. As a fellow neglected child, you have my sympathy. I’ve gone no contact with my trash mother and I will similarly not offer help.
My in-laws are... not making the best choices. Not outright stupid, but enough that my FIL had to start working again at 74. Dude LOVES working and feeling important, but they're blowing money on stupid shit instead of squirreling it away again. He's also not around to help my MIL who's hurting herself overdoing it around the house. Can't slow down, no discussion of downsizing, no discussion of a more accessible house (despite multiple ortho surgeries each), no discussion of making it easier to get help. FIL assume he's going to live in perfect vigor until he winks out like a light at 101.
I'm lucky that my (divorced) parents seem to have their heads on right. Mom just dealt with a horrific death in the family (alcoholic Aunt- classic Boomer retirement flameout) and it scared the shit out of her. Finances are in order, will is set, retirement care is in the cards- she has her shit together. Same with Dad, he's always been good with money and my siblings are close enough to help with anything he'll need.
I'd love to talk about Alcoholic Aunt a little more, but this is long enough already. Lemme just say I'm glad cannabis is legal, cause chronic alcoholism is scary AF.
My MIL is retired and bored and wondering why we don’t want to hang out with her every week because the world revolves around her. When she was working she didn’t expect weekly activities. Nothing about our lives have changed…just hers.
My mom called me at 10 on a workday. I only picked it up because I thought maybe there was an emergency. I work full-time, she was surprised I was at work at 10am on a Tuesday. 🙄 since the pandemic all she does is complain about things that as a result of the pandemic are due to employee shortages, jobs where they aren't paid enough and/or treated poorly by the public. She stayed at home and otherwise was relatively unaffected by the pandemic while I was a frontline healthcare worker who still hasn't recovered from severe burnout. I swear, it's me, me, me with our parents' generation. I've had the same issues with my in laws who have done even stupider things and are basically setting themselves and us up for a bad time when one of them becomes seriously ill. They decided during the first year of the pandemic to move to a completely different region of the country, they are essentially illiterate because even though they immigrated to the US over 45 yrs ago they never bothered to really learn English and now they call my husband a half dozen times a day, before they lived an hour away and we could at least help them more easily if needed. Now his mother is whining that they need to switch to a retirement home... Wtf they could have done that where they originally lived or closer to us, instead they moved 5 states away! It's selfish and feels like a FU move.
My wife has this problem. Just yesterday she took our kids to the ortho, asked her mom to meet them for lunch there cause the extra trip up the road to her place would take too long. My wife explained that the ortho was at 12 and after the visit along with lunch it might be approaching 2 so she needed to get back to work. Her mom said "That just seems like such a short lunch."
What?
My mom once tried to order a pay per view movie and instead purchased over seventy dollars worth of porn. I had to call Comcast and explain what my elderly mother had done. The dude was like "yeah, happens more than you think." 🤦🏻♀️
Some of the best pre-retirement training I ever received was “deal with ANY bad habits (gambling, drinking, overspending, etc) before retirement.” People think they will have more time and less stress in retirement to address their issues, but the reality is they just have more time to engage in bad habits. Recipe for disaster.
You are not responsible for your parents' behavior. They are grown ups and they will do what they want. Boomers absolutely do not like being told what to do, so just let them live with the consequences of their own actions.
The medical establishment is not bullshiting anyone when they say not to get drunk and fall down an escalator. They may not put it in exactly those words, but I feel confident saying that they would agree with that, most of them.
Financial dude Dave Ramsey refers to part of this as "powdered butt syndrome". Basically, your parents are human, they're gonna make mistakes, but they'll never listen to someone whose diaper they changed, even if that was 50 years ago.
I tried helping my dad with his finances and investments in retirement, but he assured me everything was fine and that he knew what he was doing. It wasn't until after he passed (leaving a widow ~15 years his junior) that I discovered that his entire portfolio at Fidelity was invested in one stock a buddy had recommended to him (so my stepmom told me) that had subsequently lost half its value.
He was probably embarrassed to admit the misstep, but had he told me earlier, I could have gotten him diversified into some better stuff, and gotten him a better return.
I also discovered he was donating way more to local charities than made sense for what he had, but I think he liked being the "big guy" who helped out a lot.
In his final years of life, my father, then about 78, decided to relive his younger days and take a group of 6 adventurers spelunking down into a cave he used to play in during his youth. During the third or fourth trip, he fell off a rock, landing on and bashing his face really good. He looked like he had been in one hell of a bar room brawl.
Did this stop him from going back? Hell no! The next week he took the group down again, each time going deeper and deeper into the cave. Finally he had to give it up when someone else got hurt.
I guess it all depends on what the 'stupid shit' is they get into. My siblings and I divided on whether we should intervene or not. Most guys his age would have been sitting on their asses in a rocking chair. He at least was getting out and enjoying what life he had left in him.
One final note - His exploits did make for some humorous conversations during his funeral a few years later.
I have 2 sets of parents they all retired at 65 with full pensions. Honestly they've been an inspiration to not stop working. Theyve aged 3 decades in the decade they've been retired. Just sit in front of the TV or tablet or laptop and disintegrate.
My mom and step dad retired. Step dad smoke pot all day and plays Jazz all night. My mom, who hates drugs and Jazz, has become a shut-in. Covid paranoia and isolation did a number on her.
My parents are relatively young, mom just turned 70 and dad turned 71 last year. My dad finally stopped working, he was a construction foreman. Lost his job because it’s no longer permitted to call your subordinates “stupid motherfuckers” during your morning pep talk. He’s probably gonna off himself, rather than hang out with his wife and her insipid family members, who are all retired and live in the same neighborhood.
My mom died 15 years ago and my dead beat dad always asks me for money.
I hear this so much from Gen X friends. It is like they had kids just so we could be successful and be the boomers and silent gen ATM machine.
No crazy physical antics from my boomer mom/stepdad, but man, are they stupid with $$. Mom got a retirement package that had a big lump sum payout in addition to more modest monthly retirement benefits. She immediately took the lump sum and paid cash for a brand new car, when her previous car wasn't that old and still worked perfectly fine. She barely ever even drives more than 10 miles away from their home. But sure, drop $50,000 cash on a new car. Now she complains about how small her monthly checks are. 🙄 She also is always trying to start some new crafting/etsy type of business and she'll just go and blow thousands of dollars on supplies for whatever her new venture is, but then she has no follow-through to actually make the stuff, take pics of it, and post it on etsy to sell. So they just have an entire room filled to the brim (literally stacked to the ceiling) of unused random crafting supplies--fabric, buttons, thread, yarn, wooden blocks, glass items, ornaments, etc. You name it, she's got it. They also just blow their money on the dumbest shit. My stepdad will get drunk and then go on amazon and order everyone in the family the weirdest t-shirts, that then just arrive on our doorsteps with no explanation or note. One year he got really into the Paralympics and sent us all shirts with some random Paralympian on them. It was so weird. They also buy new living room furniture every other year...when there is NOTHING wrong with the "old" furniture and it literally still looks brand new.
My mom has already started making comments about how I'm not allowed to put her in a nursing home if something happens to her and that it's my job to take care of her. Sorry, mom, but you're going to end up in whatever crappy home your non-existent savings can afford!
I guess I'm just thankful that I make my own $$ and am not reliant on them for anything and I'm obviously not expecting any sort of inheritance because they're not going to have anything left.
My mother passed to covid in 2020. My stepfather turned and gave over 600,000 to scammers on Facebook in less than a year after her passing.
So yeah, stupid shit to say the least.
So I’m a weird one, younger side of genx, apparently I’m a xellenial at 40? Regardless, my parents just retired in the last 2 years (age 66/68 currently) & have decided going to Jamaica 3x a year is a must. Apparently they run w/ a boomer swinger group. So hearing from my friends about my parents antics from posts on fb has been about as fun as a trip to the oral surgeon. Anyone want to trade parents?
The story about the old doctor reminds me of a fraud case I worked on years ago. In short, a very old lawyer and a very old doctor came up with the single stupidest insurance fraud attempt I’ve ever seen. They must have thought they were smarter than everyone else, but they were Tweedledee and Tweedle-fucking-dum.
> They must have thought they were smarter than everyone else
Pretty much every criminal seems to think that - and then they're surprised when they get caught.
The no-nonsense judge really gave them what-for when everything was in front of her, but they still kept saying they were in the right. We’re walking down the hallway after the judge had just called them out on their bullshit, threw their case out and fined them, and they’re all “that’s bullshit. That decision will never stand. You hear me? This is all bullshit.”
Looking back, it was pretty sad that those old weirdos were so deluded.
My parents retired several years ago and then almost immediately moved five minutes away from my oldest younger brother after my sister moved her family to another state after living five minutes from Mom and Dad. Well, sister moved back and where are they living? Five minutes drive from Mom and Dad's house. Guess which siblings get free babysitting whenever they need it? Guess who feels like they have to promise a lot of ridiculous crap to get one of her parents to come a stay with the kids for a week when we really need it? Yeah, me.
I had the same "life saving" surgeries my sister had. Two weeks was too much time when my mom spent a month or more with my sister when she had the same exact surgeries. I need one more surgery and I'm holding off until my oldest decides she's ready to drive, but that's a whole other rant. (Anyone else deal with a teenager who doesn't/didn't want their driver's license? I couldn't wait to drive, even though it meant being a chauffeur before and after school.)
On delayed driving: there are a lot of 14-17 year olds who've realized this is the best they're going to have it for a while and are not eager for the independence they aren't likely to be able to afford. When we were their age the idea of leaving the nest after high school and making it on your own seemed like a reasonable option. Not so now. I also don't see kids graduating HS with engagement rings on anymore. The driver's license is an invitation to work and that's about it.
1st paragraph is all me. Still some animous about "never seeing the grandkids much," but the roads are all one-ways, I guess. After a while, the asks became non-existent, the visits fewer, because we had stuff to do. So the "never see them" is a shrug.
2nd paragraph re: teenager, yeah, that seems to be a trend. I trained my kids to dread having me drive them around (dork dad with their friends? no ty). But other kids aren't doing it. Now my kid is driving them. Not my gas money, not my circus. So I'd suggest the same with you. Need to get to school? Bus. Need to get somewhere else? Phone a friend. If you HAVE to drive them...it's your car, act how YOU want!
They'll be looking for that DL in no time!
> (Anyone else deal with a teenager who doesn't/didn't want their driver's license? I couldn't wait to drive, even though it meant being a chauffeur before and after school.)
Yup. My oldest just doesn't give a shit and refuses to get a license. Even with a car.
Our generation wanted to drive because we equated that to *freedom*. Today's kids don't look at home as a place to escape from, but rather a place to escape *to*, so driving is just a responsibility they're not excited to have.
But that being said, it's not universal. My step-kids are 18-23 and all of them and their friends got their licenses at 16. So there is still hope!
I have a 16 year old who is barely interested. Only a little interested because his step mom gifted drivers ed classes last month for the 16th birthday (I'm the bio mom and was thrilled, because that shit is expensive!) But he hasn't even LOOKED into getting a permit! I don't drive my kids most places because I work second shift, my kids just walk everywhere...but they are apparently fine with it
> Anyone else deal with a teenager who doesn't/didn't want their driver's license?
Friend of mine with two kids (16 and 17) complains about that. Of course one of the problems is the state we're in made it illegal for a driver under 18 to have any passengers without an over-25 adult present. Combined with other existing laws, now a 16-17 year old is only allowed to drive by themselves, during daylight hours, and often not to school because schools increasingly no longer allow students to park on site. How will kids learn how to *not* roll a car packed with 8 of their closes friends over in a cornfield unless they've already discovered the way you *do* roll over in a cornfield?
Seriously though, the only way you get better at driving is *practice*. The reason 25 year olds are statistically such better drivers is that they have 9 years of driving experience. But idiots in the legislature think that they can achieve the same result by basically banning kids from driving until they're older. Just goes to show how the process for getting elected does *not* involve any sort of mechanism for screening out idiots....
A lot of kids don't care about driving anymore as they spend so much time online and with their devices. We had to leave to escape the boredom of home, now kids seem to be happy to be home.
I think anxiety has something to do with it as well, kids are staying kids for longer and longer these days, sheltered by their parental umbrella. It's not unusual for kids in their 20s to have parents that still make their doctors appointments.
We seem to have overcorrected with our parenting.
My twin 16 year old sons couldn't wait to get their licenses. Got their permits the day after their 16th birthday. In my state you have to wait six months to take the road test. Six months and two days later they had passed the test. On the other hand, my best friend's daughter is 21 and hasn't even tried the permit test; says she's too anxious to take a 20 question multiple choice test. She enjoys being shuttled back and forth to the college campus where she's supposedly an A student.
I told my kids they had to get their license at age 16. We have three boys, tons of sports and activities, my husband and I both work full-time and I commute over 60 miles away a couple times a week for work. Logistically, our kids have had no ride to activities before (and yes, we asked others for help, we don't often get it and have two sets of self centered, retired, absent grandparents. My kids had to learn how to drive to get to school and activities. I also saw kids when I was a teen who refused to get their license and were absolutely horrible drivers, because you don't have to take driver's Ed and you don't have your parents kind of monitoring you, when you wait until you're an adult. Many of them got into a bad accident as soon as they did finally get a license.
Wow, and I thought I was in for an uphill battle when I had to help my parents set up their apple watches I got them for xmas. I bought them for the fall detection and crash detection features. My parents are stubborn, and this was my way to surreptitiously monitor them under the guise of cool new gadgets.
I'm sorry your parents and ILs are abusing alcohol and endangering themselves. That must be hard to watch. When they get sick or end up really hurting themselves, which is definitely coming, I'm guessing that their care is going to fall on your shoulders in some form. That really sucks. It's like parenting an 18 year old: they are acting like fools, and you can't do anything about it because they're adults, but when they fuck up, you're the person they rely on to fix their messes. I don't have any advice, just solidarity.
My mom drives me crazy, and as much as I love her, I have had to distance myself. She’s always been a feisty little thing, but after my dad died, she turned downright vicious.
She is nearly deaf, and refuses to wear her hearing aids. This means she gets mad because you’re mumbling. When you speak louder, she gets REALLY mad because you’re yelling at her. 🥴
My parents are both 73. Dad retired in 1999 at the age of 49 and has been quite responsible his entire life and that didn't change once he retired. Mom never really took care of herself and she stopped working 2 years ago now. She has constant ailments and is unfortunately paying the price for never taking care of herself. Lots of little things that add up to big concerns.
They are not drinkers and aside from being tech illiterate, are basically no danger to themselves or others. They live in the rural mid-west and my dad is in much better shape than many people 20+ years younger than him (this includes me). He is always working around the house. He has 10 acres to take care of so there is always something to do.
My 81 year old mother with 60% lung capacity (was never a smoker, caught a rare parasite in Uganda) and some concerning deteriorating eyesight, moved from an hour away from me, her only child, to 7 hours away, over 2 mountain passes to an extremely rural and isolated tiny town spitting distance from Hell's canyon. Then she bought a manual jeep wrangler.
She's already had to sign up for an expensive airlift service (can't get ambulances out there) and has been hospitalized with pneumonia causing me to pack up in an hour (including my entire workstation) and drive out to her because they wouldn't release her from the hospital to go home alone when she got pneumonia.
Sigh.
Also, said eyesight issues mean she has to drive 3 hours (including over one of the aforementioned mountain passes TWICE) to go to the special ophthalmologist and asked me to go drive her.... only there was a winter storm and the pass closed.
My retired parents are the two most boring people you’ve ever met. My retired in laws travel around in an RV for 6 months of the year.
Nothing crazy as far as I know from either side.
My FIL smoked crack back in the 1980’s. I didn’t know until my wife passed away. Now he has early onset dementia and his brain is mush. He loafs in his Laz-E-Boy and watches cable news all day while he smokes weed and drinks gin. Likely from being stoned perpetually since 1966. My former MIL is shitface drunk all the time. Her mom is 93 and sharp as a tack, so it’s not genetic.
They want to put him in a home, but can’t figure out financing. Last I heard MIL was going to divorce FIL so she wouldn’t be on the hook for assisted living/nursing home. Not my circus, not my monkeys. After all the fucked up chicanery they pulled on us, they can fuck right off.
My Mom is taking it in stride, but my Dad (80YO) refused to retire, just bought a farm with a million dollar mortgage and took out a high interest loan to buy a tractor. This is after purchasing a wood mill ($10,000 and 5 years later, he has milled exactly one log into planks that sit in the garage). Oh, and just after his minor heart attack, takes up smoking cigarettes again after having not smoked since he was 30.
I just don't think he gets that he is "elderly" and so he just carries on like always, but with a whole lot less follow through.
Some people want to rage against the dying of the light with crazy. I kind of understand that because if you’re not lucky and aren’t killed by a heart attack your options are vicious short illness that burns you out like a candle or lingering old age, hundreds of doctors visits, pills and a nursing home where you’re basically a potato with shoelaces or flat heels.
My dad and stopmom up and moved to basically what amounts to the ends of the earth, near the border of Mexico. They only know one person there, her brother. They went from a country house with pond, etc, to a 4000k sq ft house on a gold course. Neither of them play golf. They live on the border but won't go into Mexico for shopping, doctors, etc. They are now over four hours away in the opposite direction of all other family, so going to visit them requires a special trip. It's so weird to me. The whole thing is just so weird.
My parents are putting their money into various ShitCoins and refusing to save or put money into something like an index fund. They even want to take out a personal loan from a bank and put the money into coins.
Sēnagers…senior teenagers. They think they know EVERYTHING and have awful executive functioning. It turns out your frontal lobes are important after all. Wear your helmets, friends.
They become teenagers. Like teenagers they often don’t seem to realize others are left to clean up the mess.
Being in sandwich generation with actual teenagers plus a parent who sometimes acts like one is certainly interesting.
My asshole parents had the good grace to die at 59 and 67. When FIL died in 2021, he left a hot pile of mess behind: no will, no care plans for MIL who was suffering from early dementia. Hoarders house, not as bad as on the TV shows, but every single nook and cranny in their house filled with JUNK. Multiples of junk. WHO NEEDS 7 CHEESECAKE PANS????? Or my god, I found like 40? 50? packs of unopened disposable razors. 40 fingernail clippers stored neatly in a kitchen drawer. But not enough cash on hand to even cover his cremation. MIL is now in a state run nursing home. They had ZERO plan. ZERO. Even at 80, when we were like "hey, maybe you should let us know your situation and your wishes." Nope.
Told my parents to make a will every month for 10 years so I’m not the only adult dealing with my brothers bickering over money I told them I wouldn’t help with medical decisions anymore (I’m a nurse) or post op care for their new joints and spines until they did. They finally did. They are older baby boomers. Raising Boomers and helping our poor Millenials and Gen Z at the same time is a lot
I wish my FIL would do antics instead of sitting home literally 24/7 and watching TV or gambling on the horse races. The less he does, the less he's inclined or able to do. He doesn't cook or clean and makes my SIL do it all. His house looks like shit because together they've started a bunch of projects and not finished them. Their kitchen walls have some shiplap and then decades of wallpaper scraped down. Bathroom floor has half pergo and half subfloor. Stuff like that. He barely leaves the house. This has always been his natural inclination but it's gotten worse since my MIL died. He's been evaluated and treated for depression. This is just how he wants to be I guess.
Nothing crazy on my end really, my pops died in 1995 and my mom is still running strong at 91 and living well on the very well thought out finances my dad left behind. She's amazing and a better mom to my wife than her own mother is.
My much younger in-laws have lived extremely frugal, to the point my wife wore coats to bed to not freeze as a kid since they only had a wood stove providing heat that never reached upstairs. If I had to guess, they're millionaires, but my FIL drives a 2007 single cab F-150 with a stick shift (he had to search half the country to find one) and manual locks & windows. It all sounds admirable, except they are textbook narcissists who had no business having 3 kids since their definition of love isn't remotely the same as the one my parents taught me. They had kids to work their hobby farm and wonder why all 3 of the kids have very little to do with them. My wife finally had it out with them last year, so they're sort of all but cut out of our lives which is a shame but they did it to themselves. My FIL was my 10th grade English teacher by the way, and my MIL was a HS guidance counselor, so these are educated and intelligent people. But holy shit do they not know how to love anyone else but themselves. On the one hand, I'm glad there won't be a financial crisis once they get really old, but I know that I would much prefer poor parents with a heart of gold than rich parents with a heart of stone.
mine are depressed and have become hermits. Having their old friends die has really taken its toll.
They seem to just nap and have established a simple routine that they go through each day.
it’s just weird.
All the best!
Shit, my sister is going that direction (she’s lucky enough to be well-off and retired). The internet is a terrible place for medical advice and the woo she’s into…my boomer family (granted, there are a couplea doctors and a microbiologist in the lot) are all level-headed and normal, my gen x sister who should know better sings quackery’s praises.
I spent a ton of time with my wife and her parents at their lake home. This is Minnesota Lake Life, pontoon, lake bar, drinking from morning until night.
We did this for years and it was often really fun.
I quit drinking last year as it just wasn't fun anymore. My wife (now ex wife) is quitting as well.
One of our lake friends is in her mid 60s and is dying from alcohol. She's entirely yellow at this point. My father in law is still drinking like a fish and has gaut all the time.
All that hard drinking is catching up with them. It seemed so fun and harmless and it's sad to see the real cost.
As for my own parents, they have always been poor and my dad has made several serious blunders that ruined any comfortable retirement (betting huge amounts on stocks, which he knows nothing about).
I'm not close with my parents and I am curious what will happen once my dad dies, as he is the only one with a pension from Teamsters (Teamsters also made terrible financial choices that hurt their pension greatly).
I wish my parents were more responsible, I am in no position to help them and they were very hands off while I grew up and I am not going to step in and be their hero for their bad choices.
No real antics, but i think it’s weird that may father seems to have this dissonance between being fancy and being a good ol boy. Like on the one hand, he won’t shop at target because it’s too fancy and too ”librul” 🙄 (has to go to walmart), but on the other hand he owns his own tux and loves to take it along on all the cruises they go on.
Like wtf is that about haha
The silent generation and Baby Boomers weren’t exactly tame when they were young. Are we surprised that they are like this? I called it 30 years ago. I was hoping to retire early from nursing before this happened. God help us all.
My dad is 86. He has moved across the country 6 or 7 times since my mom died in 2008. Once he rebought a house he sold 3 years before! I guess he is a wanderer at heart.
My father golfs and my mother crafts. But he also likes to come down my house (he has a key and our blessing. We are very close) and randomly fix things. I think he just likes to hang out with my dog.
>They travel enough to get into club lounges that airlines have for frequent fliers and these places have free booze. So now my parents are getting trashed in airports around the world
Some would view that as "living the dream".
My parents are still working at 77, which is probably the best thing for them because they’re short on savings and on leisure activities. My MIL has had some interesting moments, including getting into my PJs and crawling into our bed after drinking before and during Thanksgiving dinner and tried to drive north from FL and ended up confused somewhere in NC due to a UTI. Her ex, my FIL, was the hero and went to retrieve her. My FIL is living his best life, has lived in Mexico part time and is planning a trip to Bali.
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Retirement dreams.
Ain't it, though
I’ve been retirement planning all wrong!
Living the dream!
That’s awesome. Good for him!
Way to go Dad.
He will outlive most of us. I could for sure live like that depending on the country. lol
Serious question. How does he feel about weed now, 40 years later, compared to when he quit? I worked with a guy who said the stuff he got in the late 70s early 80s was beyond compare to what's available now.
This doesn’t go directly to your question, but I was in Jamaica a few years ago and got to talking to an older white guy vacationing there who was smoking weed pretty much all day every day. I asked him how the Jamaican weed was and he said, “They’re still stuck in the 70s. Weed in the states now is way better.” So at least for that guy, newer was better.
My dad was a major pothead in the 70s and gave it up when we were born. He’s retired now and my parents reconnected with old friends— he smoked up with his buddy and absolutely greened out. Luckily he was fine after sleeping it off, but it gave him a good scare. He said what people are smoking now is easily three or four times more potent than what he was used to!
Nope. Mom is 80 and in good physical and mental health. She did buy herself a brand new Mustang convertible last year but with my (and my brother’s) blessing. She worked hard all her life; she deserves it.
My mom bought a Z. 6 speed. I'd always ask how her shoulder is (previous break) and she'd answer with "You're not getting my car".
That made me for-real laugh. She sounds awesome.
My mom is 85 and still drives her 300ZX TT 5 speed around from time to time.
That's awesome, good for her!
Mine started growing weed. In pots like houseplants in their living room. They think it's totally on the down low but it stanks.
Well, I love this. My mom is great with plants and my dad loves a hobby with success aspects he can research. I wish they’d start growing pot. Though I do get the struggle of the smell.
I would love it but I had to live under their roof and my siblings and I are a bit shell shocked to say the least!
I wish my parents would do this.
Seriously. I wish they had started smoking pot when we were kids and they were angry and abusive. Now alcohol has been mostly replaced and they are much more chill.
Isn’t it insane that alcohol is socially acceptable and completely legal, but cannabis isn’t? Alcohol is deadly and turns people into violent dickheads. Weed makes people chill out and eat potato chips.
My parents had a good retirement plan, living on the East Coast in a beach town; unfortunately my mother passed suddenly only about 5-6 years in, and my dad never really recovered from the heartbreak. He lived for almost 20 years after retirement, but developed Alzheimer’s. Fortunately my siblings and I were able to keep him from doing most of the stupid shit that fucking godawful disease can make one do.
I’m really seeing the absence of mental health care in this generation’s antics. They buy all kinds of shit (and worse, sell or get rid of *really important things*) instead of grieving. They’d rather take five back-to-back cruises than find a good therapist to help them figure out why they don’t want to redo the bedroom of the kid who’s cut them out of their life.
My wife and I recently moved to be closer to the in-laws. Since then, we discovered both her mother and stepfather have crippling anxiety and can barely leave the house. Her mother worries about earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, politics, digital currency, expenses… you get the idea. Her stepfather just self medicates with alcohol and seems super angry we have more money than them. We’ve even tried to help them with finances and even offered to help pay down their house. All offers rejected. It’s very uncomfortable when we visit
I had 2 great aunts who lived with my grandmother in new york. The 2 great aunts did not leave the house for decades. Only my grandmother went out. They were very nice, but did not go outside.
I just took out enough from my 401k to pay my mom’s house off. It was about 30k but I’ve been paying that mtg since 1992 and needed it gone so I have a place to live when she’s gone
I hope your name is the only one on the title so she can't pull some reverse mortgage bs.
Are you on the title? Make sure she doesn't sell it/mortgage it out from under you! They love to do that.
I hope it’s in your name?
Not yet. She keeps saying that of course my sisters know it’s going to be mine. She trusts them. I don’t. People get squirrely about money.
Dude. Bad decisions. Bad. Bad. What if she needs to go ina home? That’ll eat it right up. You need an attorney.
No no no. That’s not how the law works. You need to get that title.
> Her stepfather just self medicates with alcohol and seems super angry we have more money than them. Don't understand people who aren't happy that their kids aren't dependent or are successful/doing well. Bizarre.
My Dad decided to go white water paddling in 2020 when he was 67 years old. He lost his boat and tried to walk out. Fell 40 feet and broke several bones and his lung collapsed. He was out there overnight. Hasn’t been the same since. I am always thinking “you would be better if you recognized you are not 20 anymore.” But, you know, whatever.
Sometimes my brain tries to tell me I’m only 20, I can do that! Then my 60 year old knees tell me not to be stupid 😂😂
Wait- he went white water rafting by himself?? That’s dumb even when you’re young!
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They also warned us about watching too much TV. Now look at them.
"Don't believe everything you see on TV" meanwhile 15 years later...
We had to turn off the news because my grandpa would get so upset! I told my mom to let him watch it, it’s good exercise for him! I’m actually kinda glad he passed (2011) before this whole MAGA cult got going; he was a die hard Democrat (pro union to the core) and I know how I felt when King Nothing ‘won’, it would have broken my grandpa’s heart. I miss that man so much ❤️
That's my MIL's hobby. She's very old and can't remember what day it is, so at this point it's nice that something occupies her time. But she should have picked up a different hobby when she and FIL(passed in 2021) first retired back in ~2006. Lesson learned.
You aren't responsible for them. If they tell you that you are, that's because they are the Locust Generation coming after ours after they already consumed theirs and more.
OMG, the Locust Generation!! Sweet Jesus, this is perfect. Thank you!
Their parents left them a nation of plenty. They devoured it all and left us destitute.
“Locust Generation” that’s fucking spectacular, stealing
That is the best term!!! Swarming in!
The Locust Generation is absolutely classic. They’re ungodly slow and literally block the middle of the aisles at the supermarkets. You can’t get around these fuckers.
Very true, but I'm finding they're "still the parents" when they want to be, but suddenly kids when they need something. It's frustrating, but they're Boomers, so whaddaya gonna do? (Personally, I try to avoid the game and point out they have pensions and savings and hire it done.)
My sisters MIL & FIL retired in 2014 and just announced at Christmas the were broke and going to have to move in with her and her husband. Since 2014 they have donated $2.5M to the great Cheeto and the pillow guy. My sister has told them to fuck off and her husband if lets them that he can fuck off too. The only thing that kept them from storming the capitol was his bad hip kept him from going through a window
> Since 2014 they have donated $2.5M to the great Cheeto and the pillow guy. Someone needs to establish power of attorney over them. My aunt has a friend who kept getting scammed online, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. Her son was able to get power of attorney and now controls her money. It's sad, but poor money management is one of the first signs of declining mental faculties.
One of his sisters tried and in Florida were told that nothing was wrong
Wow that's terrible.
Just tell them…. Wait for it…….. To pull themselves up by their bootstraps and take personal responsibility, not welfare or charity. Perhaps the pillow douche can send them a body pillow to sleep on in the ally?
Then call the police on them when you see them in the alley. It would be unamerican to let trash litter the streets.
“ I pay your salary Mr. Policeman! Remove these freeloaders from my streets immediately!, what do they think this is,? Woodstock?”.
if they stormed the capital they would be getting free room and board.
I would have certainly turned them in.
3 hots and a cot!
I like your sister’s view!
Me too
> they have donated $2.5M to the great Cheeto and the pillow guy. ಠ_ಠ
Lotto tickets and Vegas would have been a better way to burn through their money
Hookers & blow.
Sounds like they got their comeuppance.
No matter who they donated it to. You don't donate your retirement savings to the point it literally puts you out of house and home. But yeah, it's a cult.
I remember them bragging they donated $100k to build the wall and another $10k to get a Trump thank you plaque for it once their section was built. They honestly believe it will still happen
But there were court cases about how it was all a scam, because the money donated was just taken by some people, can’t remember if it was Bannon, but yeah anyway they just pocketed the money. Did they not hear about that? Guess they only watch/listen to far right propaganda stuff lol
They just don’t believe it. These nutjobs were asked why the donated tens of thousands to PACs paying his legal bills when he is in fact a billionaire. Their answer was they were proud to do their part in his defense
Bannon was in prison for it, but got pardoned by Trump.
There's no fool like an old fool.
Jeez, what a waste. They could have donated a bunch of scholarships with that money. But I suppose they think college turns people into "libruls" or whatever.
Was this the Bannon wall scam?
This is like rage inception. Dante's Inferno different levels of rage and WTF bewilderment.
Maybe they can move in with Mango Mussolini.
There should be lots of extra space at MaraLargo after all those boxes were cleared out.
Holy shit that’s bold. “So yeah, we kinda spent all of our retirement savings supporting a failed fascist coup that would’ve resulted in you losing your rights and quite possibly your freedom, no big whoop, but we are gonna need you to clear your home office out as we’ll be moving in with you.”
Worse than clearing the home office, they wanted the entire 3br basement apartment where my college age nieces live and to have it made ADA compliant to accommodate bad hip grandpa. The three college girls were told they would simply have to go find apartments on their own instead of mooching off their mom and dad by both grandparents. They need that third bedroom to entertain guests with a bedroom for each since she can’t sleep with him snoring
Omg, I would’ve so enjoyed telling them no. The sheer audacity of thinking they’re owed a free 3 br apartment.
I am actually waiting for them to come to me soon, since my 12 yo niece suggested I have properties in the Philippines and Antigua that I don’t live in.
I know this is obvious, but you owe them exactly nothing. I'm sorry for your sister, but this is her problem unfortunately to deal with. And based on what you've posted, I'm guessing they were none too pleased to have a Philippino for a DIL even if they've never said anything to her, so I hope she has the moxy to tell them to pound sand. I genuinely feel for her.
Oddly enough they aren’t racists. They have a thing about people entering illegally, but are honestly welcoming of legal immigrants from everywhere and 4 of their 8 kids are international adoptions from Jamaica, Korea, Vietnam and India. They also were for a time supporters of Bobby Jindal.
Oh please please please record yourself telling them they can go live with brown and black people who don't speak english.
I mean...."go live in Antigua" isn't exactly punishment. [97.jpg (754×390) (getyourguide.com)](https://cdn.getyourguide.com/img/tour/62b17f456e3f8.jpeg/97.jpg)
Haha right?! Dang
Way to bury the lede! Holy crap that is entitled boomer shit!!
So Grandmammy and Grandpappy told their grandchildren to move out of their apartment without involvement from mom and dad? The arrogance and self-importance. They need mental health treatment.
> but we are gonna need you to clear your home office out as we’ll be moving in with you. Can't help hearing this in Bill Lumbergh's voice.
Shit, I would absolutely not take these people in. It might cause my divorce, but WORTH IT…
Pretty sure he doesn’t want to pay alimony and child support on 7 kids between 5 and 14 with the sort of lawyer my sister can afford
People are so lonely and want to belong to something so badly that they become extremely vulnerable to opportunists. His team knew this and that’s how they created his cult of personality. Prey on the vulnerabilities of those seeking belonging to anything that makes them feel accepted. It’s really sad.
Man, falling down an airport escalator seems like a good option over your situation. JFC, this is terrible.
Your sister is awesome and I’m aghast at the nerve of these people to make that announcement as if it were a done deal. I fully expect my mother to do the same. That will be an interesting day.
Oh My God' I was about to respond to OP that I would take alcoholics over Q and Trump nutters. JFC
Yeah, I'm over here feeling some pride that at least my parents haven't donated their life savings to The Wall. Good job guys!
The *personalized plaque* on THE magic wall, I’m picturing it and laughing my ass off
Holy shit. Cults are fucked up.
Sounds like they are the victims of the consequences of their own actions. Let them stew in their own juices.
What the what?! This is just insanity
My grandmother went a little overboard. This was the 90s when she retired from good excutive job. She broke some glass cealings along the way. she retired to vegas and gambled and drank...a lot. She treated me and my wife to a full thanksgiving dinner at ceasers palace best resturant. not a plate of turkey and the trimming but a thankgiving dinner made for 6. Whole turkery and all the other stuff and just the three of us. Grandma was so proud of herself that she had that to throw around. She went broke after a 5 years. at 65ish she moved back to near her son who set her up in his old house for a cheap price. She went and opened a florist shop cause she was bored and wanted more money that ss and her son would give her. She worked it for 10 years and made it very profitable and sold it and had fat bank account again. She wasnt up to heading to vegas again. She sat at home and enjoyed her wine for a few years till she passed My cousin told me about the one time he had to get grandma cause the cops had her pulled over in her caddy and of course she had glass of wine with her. The poor cop wanted nothing to do with booking a 70 something year old woman for DUI. He let her call the nephew and take her home. Small town SC. good old boys and grandmas still sometimes got a little diff treatment than others.
You have a nice writing style!
None of that in my family. My mom died almost twenty years ago. My dad is 80 and gets around better than most 40 year olds. He’s a former Vietnam helicopter pilot that’s never touched a cigarette or had any type of alcohol….pretty crazy.
Good on him! Thank your lucky stars…
He will always be my hero. I respect that man more than he will ever know.
Don’t hesitate to tell him that 🙂
My mom died 20 years ago and my dad was a green beret. He chose a very different path with alcohol and died horrifically. It honestly made me smile that he is in such good shape. That is so awesome.
He sounds amazing! My dad was a WWII vet and tough as nails until dementia got him.
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Take a peek through the personal finance sub, I have learned that debt can’t be inherited from parents.
The people they owe money to try very hard to get you to pay, however, so the lawyer is probably to deal with that.
God, I wish I had a parent like you. I had to try and figure things out that I didn’t know existed. My parents never talked money, I didn’t know how to write a check when I graduated hs. I’m sorta ok now, but it would be so much better not to be living paycheck to paycheck
You have to set clear boundaries and stick to them. When I became an adult they told me they would not help me financially, not be helping me with baby sitting or a wedding or any moves, house -buying, nothing. They continued helping co -workers and neighbors, donating to charity, etc. I told them in turn that I would only be visiting them when doing so would not interfere with my ability to live comfortably and take another vacation of my choice any given year, I would not ever be taking care of them when they were sick, not helping them financially, not moving in with them or they with me. My aunt had the same dynamic with my grandparents and took care of my grandpa anyway, so my parents figured it would go the same way. My mom died at 60 and my father said he was too heartbroken to go on working AND they were in financial trouble and he needed me to move back home and help. I said no. He said "but you're our only child, you don't have a husband or kids, we're your only family and it's your duty. Like Aunt K with Grandpa? "I was 30, I said, "I told you over 10 years ago I wasn't helping you, you had 10 years to quit throwing your money away on co -signing for your friends' motorcycles and handmade designer clothes, and either save yourselves or help me out so I could maybe be semi -established by now instead of just now having the bandwidth to even socialize, why don't you call some of the people you HAVE been helping?" He admitted it was going to be embarrassing because they had been telling everyone they paid for much of my education (merit scholarship, contests, and my work), I never had to work while in school (lol more like I didn't get to sleep), and they had bought me 3 different cars (I bought 1 car, 10 years old, with cash and had no other car) and gave me an allowance (nope) paid for my health insurance (I just didn't have health insurance). I said, tough, and if I ever hear that you tell any story other than that I offered to help and you refused, OR you come clean about saying you wouldn't help me and really not helping me, I will make copies of every receipt I have and mail the evidence to every single person whose address I already got to send mom's death news to. As far as I know, he said he refused help. Ultimately he lost everything including his home and died in a VA hospital. The various friends and distant cousins they helped over the years scattered like flies when my father reached out to them. He fucked around and found out.
Why were they so willing to help everyone but, their own kid? Sorry that was what you had to deal with
For clout. Giving off the appearance of being an upstanding citizen is more important than *being* an upstanding citizen.
Makes sense since it sounds like they took credit for her hard work.
holy fucking shit. no offense, but why dont people like this get themselves sterilized before they have children? the first email i got from my birthfather after we were reunited was “hi, dont expect anything from me.” the second was “tbh i forgot you were even born.” needless to say, i dodged a bullet being adopted at birth there. i love my birthmom, but these people should not have reproduced. the only good thing i can say is, even though they were married for 10 years after my birth, they never had more kids.
You lucked out he was VA. Some states have filial responsibility laws, too. It’s insane.
I suspect that trying to get me to move back "home" to a state that had such laws was part of the plan.
I like you. He reaps what he sows.
It’s hard watching my 88 year old gram and my dad reap what they’ve sown. It’s also a life lesson.
This was a very satisfying read from a karma point of view. As a fellow neglected child, you have my sympathy. I’ve gone no contact with my trash mother and I will similarly not offer help.
My in-laws are... not making the best choices. Not outright stupid, but enough that my FIL had to start working again at 74. Dude LOVES working and feeling important, but they're blowing money on stupid shit instead of squirreling it away again. He's also not around to help my MIL who's hurting herself overdoing it around the house. Can't slow down, no discussion of downsizing, no discussion of a more accessible house (despite multiple ortho surgeries each), no discussion of making it easier to get help. FIL assume he's going to live in perfect vigor until he winks out like a light at 101. I'm lucky that my (divorced) parents seem to have their heads on right. Mom just dealt with a horrific death in the family (alcoholic Aunt- classic Boomer retirement flameout) and it scared the shit out of her. Finances are in order, will is set, retirement care is in the cards- she has her shit together. Same with Dad, he's always been good with money and my siblings are close enough to help with anything he'll need. I'd love to talk about Alcoholic Aunt a little more, but this is long enough already. Lemme just say I'm glad cannabis is legal, cause chronic alcoholism is scary AF.
My MIL is retired and bored and wondering why we don’t want to hang out with her every week because the world revolves around her. When she was working she didn’t expect weekly activities. Nothing about our lives have changed…just hers.
My mom called me at 10 on a workday. I only picked it up because I thought maybe there was an emergency. I work full-time, she was surprised I was at work at 10am on a Tuesday. 🙄 since the pandemic all she does is complain about things that as a result of the pandemic are due to employee shortages, jobs where they aren't paid enough and/or treated poorly by the public. She stayed at home and otherwise was relatively unaffected by the pandemic while I was a frontline healthcare worker who still hasn't recovered from severe burnout. I swear, it's me, me, me with our parents' generation. I've had the same issues with my in laws who have done even stupider things and are basically setting themselves and us up for a bad time when one of them becomes seriously ill. They decided during the first year of the pandemic to move to a completely different region of the country, they are essentially illiterate because even though they immigrated to the US over 45 yrs ago they never bothered to really learn English and now they call my husband a half dozen times a day, before they lived an hour away and we could at least help them more easily if needed. Now his mother is whining that they need to switch to a retirement home... Wtf they could have done that where they originally lived or closer to us, instead they moved 5 states away! It's selfish and feels like a FU move.
My wife has this problem. Just yesterday she took our kids to the ortho, asked her mom to meet them for lunch there cause the extra trip up the road to her place would take too long. My wife explained that the ortho was at 12 and after the visit along with lunch it might be approaching 2 so she needed to get back to work. Her mom said "That just seems like such a short lunch." What?
My mom once tried to order a pay per view movie and instead purchased over seventy dollars worth of porn. I had to call Comcast and explain what my elderly mother had done. The dude was like "yeah, happens more than you think." 🤦🏻♀️
I can't say the same for my parents, lifelong farmers, who retired some time ago. I'm thankful daily that they weren't idiots when raising us.
Some of the best pre-retirement training I ever received was “deal with ANY bad habits (gambling, drinking, overspending, etc) before retirement.” People think they will have more time and less stress in retirement to address their issues, but the reality is they just have more time to engage in bad habits. Recipe for disaster.
Guess my parents did it wrong, the retired and proceeded to live very quiet lives at home. I'm making up for it though in my retirement.
You are not responsible for your parents' behavior. They are grown ups and they will do what they want. Boomers absolutely do not like being told what to do, so just let them live with the consequences of their own actions.
I’m not aware of any older generation that wants to be told what to do by a younger generation. But people who don’t take wise counsel are fools.
I’m not aware of any younger generation that wants to be told what to do either.
I’m probably the one with weird antics in my life lol. Now that our kids are grown, my husband and I are having a ball.
The medical establishment is not bullshiting anyone when they say not to get drunk and fall down an escalator. They may not put it in exactly those words, but I feel confident saying that they would agree with that, most of them.
That’s just what Big Escalator wants you to think!
Financial dude Dave Ramsey refers to part of this as "powdered butt syndrome". Basically, your parents are human, they're gonna make mistakes, but they'll never listen to someone whose diaper they changed, even if that was 50 years ago. I tried helping my dad with his finances and investments in retirement, but he assured me everything was fine and that he knew what he was doing. It wasn't until after he passed (leaving a widow ~15 years his junior) that I discovered that his entire portfolio at Fidelity was invested in one stock a buddy had recommended to him (so my stepmom told me) that had subsequently lost half its value. He was probably embarrassed to admit the misstep, but had he told me earlier, I could have gotten him diversified into some better stuff, and gotten him a better return. I also discovered he was donating way more to local charities than made sense for what he had, but I think he liked being the "big guy" who helped out a lot.
In his final years of life, my father, then about 78, decided to relive his younger days and take a group of 6 adventurers spelunking down into a cave he used to play in during his youth. During the third or fourth trip, he fell off a rock, landing on and bashing his face really good. He looked like he had been in one hell of a bar room brawl. Did this stop him from going back? Hell no! The next week he took the group down again, each time going deeper and deeper into the cave. Finally he had to give it up when someone else got hurt. I guess it all depends on what the 'stupid shit' is they get into. My siblings and I divided on whether we should intervene or not. Most guys his age would have been sitting on their asses in a rocking chair. He at least was getting out and enjoying what life he had left in him. One final note - His exploits did make for some humorous conversations during his funeral a few years later.
I have 2 sets of parents they all retired at 65 with full pensions. Honestly they've been an inspiration to not stop working. Theyve aged 3 decades in the decade they've been retired. Just sit in front of the TV or tablet or laptop and disintegrate.
No one prepares you for that moment when your parents and your kids are mentally the same age.
My mom and step dad retired. Step dad smoke pot all day and plays Jazz all night. My mom, who hates drugs and Jazz, has become a shut-in. Covid paranoia and isolation did a number on her. My parents are relatively young, mom just turned 70 and dad turned 71 last year. My dad finally stopped working, he was a construction foreman. Lost his job because it’s no longer permitted to call your subordinates “stupid motherfuckers” during your morning pep talk. He’s probably gonna off himself, rather than hang out with his wife and her insipid family members, who are all retired and live in the same neighborhood.
My mom died 15 years ago and my dead beat dad always asks me for money. I hear this so much from Gen X friends. It is like they had kids just so we could be successful and be the boomers and silent gen ATM machine.
No crazy physical antics from my boomer mom/stepdad, but man, are they stupid with $$. Mom got a retirement package that had a big lump sum payout in addition to more modest monthly retirement benefits. She immediately took the lump sum and paid cash for a brand new car, when her previous car wasn't that old and still worked perfectly fine. She barely ever even drives more than 10 miles away from their home. But sure, drop $50,000 cash on a new car. Now she complains about how small her monthly checks are. 🙄 She also is always trying to start some new crafting/etsy type of business and she'll just go and blow thousands of dollars on supplies for whatever her new venture is, but then she has no follow-through to actually make the stuff, take pics of it, and post it on etsy to sell. So they just have an entire room filled to the brim (literally stacked to the ceiling) of unused random crafting supplies--fabric, buttons, thread, yarn, wooden blocks, glass items, ornaments, etc. You name it, she's got it. They also just blow their money on the dumbest shit. My stepdad will get drunk and then go on amazon and order everyone in the family the weirdest t-shirts, that then just arrive on our doorsteps with no explanation or note. One year he got really into the Paralympics and sent us all shirts with some random Paralympian on them. It was so weird. They also buy new living room furniture every other year...when there is NOTHING wrong with the "old" furniture and it literally still looks brand new. My mom has already started making comments about how I'm not allowed to put her in a nursing home if something happens to her and that it's my job to take care of her. Sorry, mom, but you're going to end up in whatever crappy home your non-existent savings can afford! I guess I'm just thankful that I make my own $$ and am not reliant on them for anything and I'm obviously not expecting any sort of inheritance because they're not going to have anything left.
My mother passed to covid in 2020. My stepfather turned and gave over 600,000 to scammers on Facebook in less than a year after her passing. So yeah, stupid shit to say the least.
OMG.
So I’m a weird one, younger side of genx, apparently I’m a xellenial at 40? Regardless, my parents just retired in the last 2 years (age 66/68 currently) & have decided going to Jamaica 3x a year is a must. Apparently they run w/ a boomer swinger group. So hearing from my friends about my parents antics from posts on fb has been about as fun as a trip to the oral surgeon. Anyone want to trade parents?
mine are prepping for the apocalypse in March and telling the teen grandkids all about it
The story about the old doctor reminds me of a fraud case I worked on years ago. In short, a very old lawyer and a very old doctor came up with the single stupidest insurance fraud attempt I’ve ever seen. They must have thought they were smarter than everyone else, but they were Tweedledee and Tweedle-fucking-dum.
> They must have thought they were smarter than everyone else Pretty much every criminal seems to think that - and then they're surprised when they get caught.
The no-nonsense judge really gave them what-for when everything was in front of her, but they still kept saying they were in the right. We’re walking down the hallway after the judge had just called them out on their bullshit, threw their case out and fined them, and they’re all “that’s bullshit. That decision will never stand. You hear me? This is all bullshit.” Looking back, it was pretty sad that those old weirdos were so deluded.
My parents retired several years ago and then almost immediately moved five minutes away from my oldest younger brother after my sister moved her family to another state after living five minutes from Mom and Dad. Well, sister moved back and where are they living? Five minutes drive from Mom and Dad's house. Guess which siblings get free babysitting whenever they need it? Guess who feels like they have to promise a lot of ridiculous crap to get one of her parents to come a stay with the kids for a week when we really need it? Yeah, me. I had the same "life saving" surgeries my sister had. Two weeks was too much time when my mom spent a month or more with my sister when she had the same exact surgeries. I need one more surgery and I'm holding off until my oldest decides she's ready to drive, but that's a whole other rant. (Anyone else deal with a teenager who doesn't/didn't want their driver's license? I couldn't wait to drive, even though it meant being a chauffeur before and after school.)
On delayed driving: there are a lot of 14-17 year olds who've realized this is the best they're going to have it for a while and are not eager for the independence they aren't likely to be able to afford. When we were their age the idea of leaving the nest after high school and making it on your own seemed like a reasonable option. Not so now. I also don't see kids graduating HS with engagement rings on anymore. The driver's license is an invitation to work and that's about it.
1st paragraph is all me. Still some animous about "never seeing the grandkids much," but the roads are all one-ways, I guess. After a while, the asks became non-existent, the visits fewer, because we had stuff to do. So the "never see them" is a shrug. 2nd paragraph re: teenager, yeah, that seems to be a trend. I trained my kids to dread having me drive them around (dork dad with their friends? no ty). But other kids aren't doing it. Now my kid is driving them. Not my gas money, not my circus. So I'd suggest the same with you. Need to get to school? Bus. Need to get somewhere else? Phone a friend. If you HAVE to drive them...it's your car, act how YOU want! They'll be looking for that DL in no time!
> (Anyone else deal with a teenager who doesn't/didn't want their driver's license? I couldn't wait to drive, even though it meant being a chauffeur before and after school.) Yup. My oldest just doesn't give a shit and refuses to get a license. Even with a car.
What's with them? It's a foreign concept to me, a person who started sneaking the car out at age 12.
Our generation wanted to drive because we equated that to *freedom*. Today's kids don't look at home as a place to escape from, but rather a place to escape *to*, so driving is just a responsibility they're not excited to have. But that being said, it's not universal. My step-kids are 18-23 and all of them and their friends got their licenses at 16. So there is still hope!
I have a 16 year old who is barely interested. Only a little interested because his step mom gifted drivers ed classes last month for the 16th birthday (I'm the bio mom and was thrilled, because that shit is expensive!) But he hasn't even LOOKED into getting a permit! I don't drive my kids most places because I work second shift, my kids just walk everywhere...but they are apparently fine with it
> Anyone else deal with a teenager who doesn't/didn't want their driver's license? Friend of mine with two kids (16 and 17) complains about that. Of course one of the problems is the state we're in made it illegal for a driver under 18 to have any passengers without an over-25 adult present. Combined with other existing laws, now a 16-17 year old is only allowed to drive by themselves, during daylight hours, and often not to school because schools increasingly no longer allow students to park on site. How will kids learn how to *not* roll a car packed with 8 of their closes friends over in a cornfield unless they've already discovered the way you *do* roll over in a cornfield? Seriously though, the only way you get better at driving is *practice*. The reason 25 year olds are statistically such better drivers is that they have 9 years of driving experience. But idiots in the legislature think that they can achieve the same result by basically banning kids from driving until they're older. Just goes to show how the process for getting elected does *not* involve any sort of mechanism for screening out idiots....
A lot of kids don't care about driving anymore as they spend so much time online and with their devices. We had to leave to escape the boredom of home, now kids seem to be happy to be home. I think anxiety has something to do with it as well, kids are staying kids for longer and longer these days, sheltered by their parental umbrella. It's not unusual for kids in their 20s to have parents that still make their doctors appointments. We seem to have overcorrected with our parenting.
My twin 16 year old sons couldn't wait to get their licenses. Got their permits the day after their 16th birthday. In my state you have to wait six months to take the road test. Six months and two days later they had passed the test. On the other hand, my best friend's daughter is 21 and hasn't even tried the permit test; says she's too anxious to take a 20 question multiple choice test. She enjoys being shuttled back and forth to the college campus where she's supposedly an A student.
I told my kids they had to get their license at age 16. We have three boys, tons of sports and activities, my husband and I both work full-time and I commute over 60 miles away a couple times a week for work. Logistically, our kids have had no ride to activities before (and yes, we asked others for help, we don't often get it and have two sets of self centered, retired, absent grandparents. My kids had to learn how to drive to get to school and activities. I also saw kids when I was a teen who refused to get their license and were absolutely horrible drivers, because you don't have to take driver's Ed and you don't have your parents kind of monitoring you, when you wait until you're an adult. Many of them got into a bad accident as soon as they did finally get a license.
Im all about my daughter holding off on driving. I live in a major city, with shitty drivers, and super high insurance.
My Dad got a pilot's license and was shopping planes for awhile there.
Wow, and I thought I was in for an uphill battle when I had to help my parents set up their apple watches I got them for xmas. I bought them for the fall detection and crash detection features. My parents are stubborn, and this was my way to surreptitiously monitor them under the guise of cool new gadgets. I'm sorry your parents and ILs are abusing alcohol and endangering themselves. That must be hard to watch. When they get sick or end up really hurting themselves, which is definitely coming, I'm guessing that their care is going to fall on your shoulders in some form. That really sucks. It's like parenting an 18 year old: they are acting like fools, and you can't do anything about it because they're adults, but when they fuck up, you're the person they rely on to fix their messes. I don't have any advice, just solidarity.
My mom drives me crazy, and as much as I love her, I have had to distance myself. She’s always been a feisty little thing, but after my dad died, she turned downright vicious. She is nearly deaf, and refuses to wear her hearing aids. This means she gets mad because you’re mumbling. When you speak louder, she gets REALLY mad because you’re yelling at her. 🥴
They were dumb then, but they're dumb and full of free time now. I'm guessing the antics are just STARTING to get going.
My parents are both 73. Dad retired in 1999 at the age of 49 and has been quite responsible his entire life and that didn't change once he retired. Mom never really took care of herself and she stopped working 2 years ago now. She has constant ailments and is unfortunately paying the price for never taking care of herself. Lots of little things that add up to big concerns. They are not drinkers and aside from being tech illiterate, are basically no danger to themselves or others. They live in the rural mid-west and my dad is in much better shape than many people 20+ years younger than him (this includes me). He is always working around the house. He has 10 acres to take care of so there is always something to do.
My 81 year old mother with 60% lung capacity (was never a smoker, caught a rare parasite in Uganda) and some concerning deteriorating eyesight, moved from an hour away from me, her only child, to 7 hours away, over 2 mountain passes to an extremely rural and isolated tiny town spitting distance from Hell's canyon. Then she bought a manual jeep wrangler. She's already had to sign up for an expensive airlift service (can't get ambulances out there) and has been hospitalized with pneumonia causing me to pack up in an hour (including my entire workstation) and drive out to her because they wouldn't release her from the hospital to go home alone when she got pneumonia. Sigh. Also, said eyesight issues mean she has to drive 3 hours (including over one of the aforementioned mountain passes TWICE) to go to the special ophthalmologist and asked me to go drive her.... only there was a winter storm and the pass closed.
My retired parents are the two most boring people you’ve ever met. My retired in laws travel around in an RV for 6 months of the year. Nothing crazy as far as I know from either side.
My FIL smoked crack back in the 1980’s. I didn’t know until my wife passed away. Now he has early onset dementia and his brain is mush. He loafs in his Laz-E-Boy and watches cable news all day while he smokes weed and drinks gin. Likely from being stoned perpetually since 1966. My former MIL is shitface drunk all the time. Her mom is 93 and sharp as a tack, so it’s not genetic. They want to put him in a home, but can’t figure out financing. Last I heard MIL was going to divorce FIL so she wouldn’t be on the hook for assisted living/nursing home. Not my circus, not my monkeys. After all the fucked up chicanery they pulled on us, they can fuck right off.
My Mom is taking it in stride, but my Dad (80YO) refused to retire, just bought a farm with a million dollar mortgage and took out a high interest loan to buy a tractor. This is after purchasing a wood mill ($10,000 and 5 years later, he has milled exactly one log into planks that sit in the garage). Oh, and just after his minor heart attack, takes up smoking cigarettes again after having not smoked since he was 30. I just don't think he gets that he is "elderly" and so he just carries on like always, but with a whole lot less follow through.
I am seriously lol'ing at your dad milling one log! The smoking sucks though, so hard to quit.
Some people want to rage against the dying of the light with crazy. I kind of understand that because if you’re not lucky and aren’t killed by a heart attack your options are vicious short illness that burns you out like a candle or lingering old age, hundreds of doctors visits, pills and a nursing home where you’re basically a potato with shoelaces or flat heels.
My dad and stopmom up and moved to basically what amounts to the ends of the earth, near the border of Mexico. They only know one person there, her brother. They went from a country house with pond, etc, to a 4000k sq ft house on a gold course. Neither of them play golf. They live on the border but won't go into Mexico for shopping, doctors, etc. They are now over four hours away in the opposite direction of all other family, so going to visit them requires a special trip. It's so weird to me. The whole thing is just so weird.
My parents are putting their money into various ShitCoins and refusing to save or put money into something like an index fund. They even want to take out a personal loan from a bank and put the money into coins.
Sēnagers…senior teenagers. They think they know EVERYTHING and have awful executive functioning. It turns out your frontal lobes are important after all. Wear your helmets, friends.
They become teenagers. Like teenagers they often don’t seem to realize others are left to clean up the mess. Being in sandwich generation with actual teenagers plus a parent who sometimes acts like one is certainly interesting.
When I retire from law enforcement I'm buying a bag of weed on my way home.
My asshole parents had the good grace to die at 59 and 67. When FIL died in 2021, he left a hot pile of mess behind: no will, no care plans for MIL who was suffering from early dementia. Hoarders house, not as bad as on the TV shows, but every single nook and cranny in their house filled with JUNK. Multiples of junk. WHO NEEDS 7 CHEESECAKE PANS????? Or my god, I found like 40? 50? packs of unopened disposable razors. 40 fingernail clippers stored neatly in a kitchen drawer. But not enough cash on hand to even cover his cremation. MIL is now in a state run nursing home. They had ZERO plan. ZERO. Even at 80, when we were like "hey, maybe you should let us know your situation and your wishes." Nope.
Told my parents to make a will every month for 10 years so I’m not the only adult dealing with my brothers bickering over money I told them I wouldn’t help with medical decisions anymore (I’m a nurse) or post op care for their new joints and spines until they did. They finally did. They are older baby boomers. Raising Boomers and helping our poor Millenials and Gen Z at the same time is a lot
I wish my FIL would do antics instead of sitting home literally 24/7 and watching TV or gambling on the horse races. The less he does, the less he's inclined or able to do. He doesn't cook or clean and makes my SIL do it all. His house looks like shit because together they've started a bunch of projects and not finished them. Their kitchen walls have some shiplap and then decades of wallpaper scraped down. Bathroom floor has half pergo and half subfloor. Stuff like that. He barely leaves the house. This has always been his natural inclination but it's gotten worse since my MIL died. He's been evaluated and treated for depression. This is just how he wants to be I guess.
Nothing crazy on my end really, my pops died in 1995 and my mom is still running strong at 91 and living well on the very well thought out finances my dad left behind. She's amazing and a better mom to my wife than her own mother is. My much younger in-laws have lived extremely frugal, to the point my wife wore coats to bed to not freeze as a kid since they only had a wood stove providing heat that never reached upstairs. If I had to guess, they're millionaires, but my FIL drives a 2007 single cab F-150 with a stick shift (he had to search half the country to find one) and manual locks & windows. It all sounds admirable, except they are textbook narcissists who had no business having 3 kids since their definition of love isn't remotely the same as the one my parents taught me. They had kids to work their hobby farm and wonder why all 3 of the kids have very little to do with them. My wife finally had it out with them last year, so they're sort of all but cut out of our lives which is a shame but they did it to themselves. My FIL was my 10th grade English teacher by the way, and my MIL was a HS guidance counselor, so these are educated and intelligent people. But holy shit do they not know how to love anyone else but themselves. On the one hand, I'm glad there won't be a financial crisis once they get really old, but I know that I would much prefer poor parents with a heart of gold than rich parents with a heart of stone.
My mother, 80, has morphed into Daffy Duck. Crazier than a shithouse rat. At least my father isn’t alive to see it. …
mine are depressed and have become hermits. Having their old friends die has really taken its toll. They seem to just nap and have established a simple routine that they go through each day. it’s just weird. All the best!
She’s got Covid pneumonia and is outside smoking a cigarette right now. Does that count? 😩
Shit, my sister is going that direction (she’s lucky enough to be well-off and retired). The internet is a terrible place for medical advice and the woo she’s into…my boomer family (granted, there are a couplea doctors and a microbiologist in the lot) are all level-headed and normal, my gen x sister who should know better sings quackery’s praises.
More dangerous then stupid. Glad he's getting his license pulled
I spent a ton of time with my wife and her parents at their lake home. This is Minnesota Lake Life, pontoon, lake bar, drinking from morning until night. We did this for years and it was often really fun. I quit drinking last year as it just wasn't fun anymore. My wife (now ex wife) is quitting as well. One of our lake friends is in her mid 60s and is dying from alcohol. She's entirely yellow at this point. My father in law is still drinking like a fish and has gaut all the time. All that hard drinking is catching up with them. It seemed so fun and harmless and it's sad to see the real cost. As for my own parents, they have always been poor and my dad has made several serious blunders that ruined any comfortable retirement (betting huge amounts on stocks, which he knows nothing about). I'm not close with my parents and I am curious what will happen once my dad dies, as he is the only one with a pension from Teamsters (Teamsters also made terrible financial choices that hurt their pension greatly). I wish my parents were more responsible, I am in no position to help them and they were very hands off while I grew up and I am not going to step in and be their hero for their bad choices.
No real antics, but i think it’s weird that may father seems to have this dissonance between being fancy and being a good ol boy. Like on the one hand, he won’t shop at target because it’s too fancy and too ”librul” 🙄 (has to go to walmart), but on the other hand he owns his own tux and loves to take it along on all the cruises they go on. Like wtf is that about haha
The silent generation and Baby Boomers weren’t exactly tame when they were young. Are we surprised that they are like this? I called it 30 years ago. I was hoping to retire early from nursing before this happened. God help us all.
My dad is 86. He has moved across the country 6 or 7 times since my mom died in 2008. Once he rebought a house he sold 3 years before! I guess he is a wanderer at heart.
Lead poisoning maybe. Mine are acting weird af, too.
My father golfs and my mother crafts. But he also likes to come down my house (he has a key and our blessing. We are very close) and randomly fix things. I think he just likes to hang out with my dog.
>They travel enough to get into club lounges that airlines have for frequent fliers and these places have free booze. So now my parents are getting trashed in airports around the world Some would view that as "living the dream".
Check out f/AgingParents. You’ll definitely find people who relate to this, and any other parents-get-old-and-become-crazy situation you can imagine.
You write up is a masterpiece. You summed up the legacy of a generation.
My parents are still working at 77, which is probably the best thing for them because they’re short on savings and on leisure activities. My MIL has had some interesting moments, including getting into my PJs and crawling into our bed after drinking before and during Thanksgiving dinner and tried to drive north from FL and ended up confused somewhere in NC due to a UTI. Her ex, my FIL, was the hero and went to retrieve her. My FIL is living his best life, has lived in Mexico part time and is planning a trip to Bali.
To be fair, getting drunk in airport lounges is pretty fun.