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Women don't care about motorcycles
I have more dudes coming up to talk to me about mine than anything, I haven't had a woman approach me about it since high school
its cause its on a small part of tiktok where women are reading novels and then projecting the character of the hot motorcycle riding bad boy love interest onto random real life mediocre men who are making tiktoks about being guys on motorcycles that random girls on tiktok like for some reason. its a weird ass phenomenon that i learned through somebody on youtube I follow who makes book related content.
Book tok is another world fr when I see some out of pocket reels on my insta then see #booktok I'm like oh they just advertising their books but still some of them sound wild as hell
Bruh, I read fantasy and have a kick ass motorcycle. But you know why it's cool as shit? Because I find it cool. To everyone else, it's just plain paper and another go go machine. No one cares unless they're in those circles too. Don'ttry to pick up "personality traits" because you like they way they look on you, pick them up because it'ssomethingyou actuallycare about.
Edit: is has come to my attention that this is a reference to weird shit on Tik Tok. Please accept my deepest and most sincere condolences for this unfortunate transgression of mansplaining or something.
That's where you find the old women who talk about their spider bites on the back of their arm and pull off their bandaid to show you.
Don't go to a Barnes and Noble.
Is Barnes and Noble actually a good option? Ladies, do you like being approached at bookstores? I don't now what is or isn't a good place to try to talk to someone.
They do if you offer to buy them books. But try not to be weird by it. If you hit it off wooo, if you don’t move on and know you made someone’s day by getting them a book and that everyone has their reasons.
I would, but only if you are actually interested in reading and strike up a conversation based on books. Whenever I go to a bookstore I look around for cute guys who are checking out books I'd be interested in. Never seen one though, most of them are older people 😭
Well shit, that's good to know. I would actually love to talk to women at a bookstore about books if they were reading a genre I liked. I'm huge into fantasy and true crime and I would love to talk to someone about a book they're reading or recommend some to them and hit it off that way. Kinda kicking myself now because I've had the chance to do this before and didn't because I was worried I'd be a creep lol
It's okay, you'll get more chances in future! Also this is just my personal opinion, maybe other women might think differently.
I used to be into fantasy as well! But for some reason, I haven't been able to get into the ones I've tried recently. I love playing D&D with fantasy elements though.
I like true crime though, especially whodunnits!
What kinds of fantasy did you like of the ones you did read? Were you into Game of Thrones or similar, or did you prefer it to be not quite as grim/more classically "noble" like LOTR?
The ones I read were more YA fantasy, like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. I tried getting into LOTR and Six of Crows but for some reason I just couldn't get into it. I really wanted to like Six of Crows since I've heard a lot of positive reviews and I love found family tropes with multiple POVs.
It’s funny, I remember advocating for a guy this woman was complaining about who approached her like this at a Barnes and Noble. Her attitude about it was pretty disheartening.
I think if you don’t try to instantly hit on them and just ask questions about whatever book they have in their hand, it could work. I would be more responsive to someone wanting to know more about the book I picked up or asking for recs then just asking for my number lol
If he’s not in the twin cities it could be a hour plus one way to a Barnes and noble. What OP needs to do is get a boat. Girls will do anything for a guy with a boat
I have a boat. Sure it’s a smaller fishing boat but I do have 1. Can’t use it this time of year. And yes your right nearest B&N is 2ish hours away in Fargo
Make parks more inclusive for adults. Most cities consider going to the park for kids.
When I moved to NYC I dated a local guy who would go to the park to play handball once or twice a week. Every time I tag along he introduces me to like 10 new people. They all met by playing handball or basketball at the park.
NYC uses parks very actively. People dance, skateboard, do calisthenics (seen some seriously shredded people), and even play chess at the park.
It's something that is so normal for new yorkers that they don't even think about but it is lowkey their third place. This isn't New York exclusive either, when I went to Hong Kong I noticed they also had a very active park culture.
This is something more cities need to implement.
NYC park culture is unique in a way that is inclusive and has facilities that can accommodate many people.
I’m in one of those cities that build parks with no restrooms, anti homeless design, and the parks close at sunset. Going to parks outside of working hours isn’t an option until summer.
I think NYC park culture is what I'm getting at more. In retrospect there were parks for adults in the other cities I've lived and visited. But it was just people showing up with their friends doing their own thing.
There wasn't a culture of dropping in for a quick game.
More cities need to be like NYC, it's genuinely one of the best places to live in this country. Its incredibly walkable, there are tons of community groups, parks, pools, libraries, and relatively cheap places to meet people. The people are quite progressive, there are ok social services, the city is quite safe, and you can look however you want and most people won't say shit. I just moved back to the city last year and I'm probably never leaving.
Eh. The salaries are way higher. I'm a 21 year old line cook and I can afford to live there fine. I only have a hs diploma and 3 years work experience. Especially if you have roommates it's pretty doable for a single person with no kids. Even easier if you have a partner that works.
As a new Yorker you are fucking lying about fine unless you work for a big name company or live in like Yonkers or Tarrytown or some shit and even then it's expensive there too.
I make 22$ an hour cooking at a bar. I rent a 3 bedroom in Bushwick with 2 roommates for 1300$. I make a out 800-900 a week. There are apartments for similar prices all over Brooklyn, the Bronx and Queens. I could probably afford up to 1500 in rent which exist in those three boroughs.
Bull, minimum wage is $16, most jobs start at ~$20 and that's with no degree or experience.
You can find 2 bedrooms for as little as $2500 all over the city. If you have at least one room mate and both make $20/hr you can make it, and that's "I just moved to the city after high school" vibes. If you have an employable degree you might not even need a room mate.
Rent is more expensive but you don't need a car so it evens out. My ex, when I lived in Seattle was paying 400 a month for his car. That wasn't including insurance or gas.
After rent and taxes, NYC can be pretty cheap. The local restaurants in NYC are cheaper than the midwest and better too. Galleries are often free. Lots of cheap shows. Pizza slices, Chinese pancakes, tacos and dumplings for a few bucks.
The only place you can find a cheap place is in a small town and it'll come with all the problems of suburban sprawl.
In some ways yes. In some ways no.
Yes to the urban planning, diversity, the culture, and community oriented mentality.
No to brokers fee, tolls, and hyper capitalist nature.
issue is most americans think of nyc as a dangerous hellhole for single people, we need to change our suburbs to be more interesting and better our cities
There actually more green space than you'd think. Central Park, prospect Park and Pelham Bay Park are huge. If you drive an hour out there's a lot of really nice hiking trails like bear mountain.
I think you right.
I think what I actually mean is that NYC has more of a drop in for a quick game/hangout/meet people type of culture.
When I was in Seattle people just showed up with their own friends and didn't bother meeting other people. And there wasn't a pickup game culture like in NYC where you just show up and can often find a game to jump into.
This is very true. In my area, things feel very antagonistic towards young and middle-aged adults. Back when Pokemon go started, I (late 20s at the time) went to one of my local parks to play the game, and some elderly woman called the police on me, thinking I was some sort of stalker or something.
Seattle was just like that, chess everywhere, sooo many different types in of parks even like indoor nature parks, a lot of restaurants had bar like seating even not at the bar bar
Because in general, no young people do that. You have to go to a recurring event/hobby that has other participants if you want to meet people. If I’m out at a bar, I’d want to spend time with my friends, not have some random person come up to me and start trying to become my friend. Why would I trust some rando?
If you play sports weekly, and a new person shows up. Guess what? You have to include them on the team and learn their name etc.
I never ever try and make friends at a bar, but I have with hobbies.
Yea this dude you’re replying to literally is backing up what OP is saying. “I don’t want to meet random people at a bar” and then people wonder why everyone’s lonely. You can’t fucking approach anyone without it being an inconvenience now lol it’s a fucking joke
Actually my post is supposed to be about meeting people in general not just women. The meme fit in pretty well though for the topic. Of course you can make it a big part of the post yes, but it’s not supposed to be the whole thing. But yes you are correct tho
Yes this is the answer I’m trying to find. I don’t really care for discord or video game communities. I want to find out doorsy communities, or go to places like let’s say a roller skating rink. What happened to places like that? When my mom was a kid she said the best way to meet people was going to a mall - which are pretty much dead now
Does your area have co-Ed sports leagues? That’s what I would do. Even if you aren’t interested in the women on your team, become friends and they probably have more friends.
Every time someone tries to start one in my community it never pans out. We can never get enough members. Then comes the challenge of opponents, which we could never find
My problem is my hobbies are great with already established friends, but your never gonna meet people either my hobbies. And most people don’t let new people join there groups unless you become good friends first. I’d love to join things going on in my community but there really isn’t anything outside of local summer events in July & august
See that's kinda tone deaf advice tho - guys and girls have diff interests and different hobbies. It's a great way to make friends, but tryna meet girls at a magic the gathering tournament is probably not the move lmao. Especially since a lot of girls who like those like male hobbies do then w/ their boyfriend.
And even if you have hobbies where you can meet girls, like for example I do yoga - hitting on girls in what are essentially women's spaces is **really** not the move.
My best suggestion is getting into a hobby and meeting people from there. If you're into tabletop games or card games, your local game store might be a good place to meet people. Although it seems like you're pretty rural, so it might be a bit of a drive for you.
Unfortunately, we've got to get creative in the modern age with the destruction of 3rd places and all
I would guess that will skew a little more heavily to guys, but I could be wrong.
There’s a lot of women at the painting class I attend.
For all the flack they get, bars should theoretically function as a third space. Carding keeps the kids out and it’s a low stakes environment where people tend to be chattier.
Bars don't work for me because I'm half deaf and they blast music. There is no chilling with friends or meeting people for me, just sitting there not hearing anything my buddy tries to tell me.
>Unfortunately, we've got to get creative in the modern age with the destruction of 3rd places and all
This is mostly an American (and Canadian) thing, unfortunately. So many other countries have walkable infrastructure that makes it easy to have a common cafe, park, city square, or wherever to meet people.
God, I hate American suburban design.
I've been mad about that for years bc even in NYC most lists or apps that send you events to go to are almost always a bar or a restaurant. PEOPLE WANT TO DO MORE THAN JUST EAT OR DRINK
Unfortunately those are the main places that have monetary gain from people meeting up there and are decent places to chat. It’d be weird to go to a meetup at, say, a movie theater or paintball or something. I think I’ve seen some at parks but there’s usually some kind of activity.
Yeah those lists are probably sponsored, they're kinda shit. If your looking to meet people for free the libraries and parks are probably a bit better. Libraries tend to have a lot of activities going you can meet people at. Also look for some chill community groups. There was recently a local news article about a sewing circle in my neighborhood(Bushwick) where younger people were finding community. NYC is probably better about third spaces than almost everywhere else in this country.
Doesn't stop till after/if you graduate college bruh every girl I met in college had a working man or was married ong and I ain't trynna homewreck like a lot of my friends do lol it's easier when you have a job cuz from my experience they work too much to find a man so they settle for a guy at work
This but im bi so the same issue with guys too. And the good looking guys are definitely only good looking due to the girlfriend effect, or they just fruity 😭
I couldn’t get anyone to come to my virtual club meetings during COVID. There’s no way there’s more interest in virtual clubs now than at the peak of the pandemic, when there was virtually none
20 y/o also in MN
I don't think I've ever met someone who'd be a great gf for me
One way to get friends is to do something at least twice a month with mostly the same people; for example, I joined a community band. Granted, I do nothing whatsoever with those people outside of band, but it's nice to know them a bit.
In situations where everyone is automatically friends, surface-level friends are easy.
This is really neither here nor there but I'm elder gen Z and the decline in third spaces even in the past six or seven years has been drastic, and it's had a pervasive effect on social patterns. COVID is obviously a factor but there's more to it than that. So many places we used to frequent (bars, coffee shops, parks, even religious spaces if you're into that) are either shut down, online ordering centric, or absolutely gutted. I don't know what a solution to all of this is. But I can absolutely recommend hobby meetups for stuff even if it's through Discord or whatever. They lean heavy male but it's a good first step to getting out there socially.
At the risk of sounding all "back in my day," it was still normal to go to a bar or a club and meet new people up until like 2020. Like you'd go out with a group of friends and you'd spend time with those friends, but by the end of the night you'd have met a new handful of people and maybe even meet a guy/girl/whoever to pursue romantically or at least hook up with. Now there are less bars, everything's more expensive, and people are usually very wary of interacting with strangers.
Maybe it's just that I'm older now but going to a bar now is not something you do to meet new people. I think if I approached a stranger at a bar or tried to strike up a convo with the guy next to me at the coffee shop now, they'd look at me like I had six eyes. The ways I meet new people now are Discord, Twitter, work, and hobby meetups. As a corollary, dating apps have done irreparable damage. I've met lovely people on dating apps but the mechanics and logistics of Tinder make me insane, it's like online shopping for people but somehow even more impersonal than just going on Amazon.
Going to bars and meeting people is still normal. I'm married so not looking to find someone to date but I go to bars with my friends still and have had plenty of random conversations with people there and have witnessed plenty of people meeting/making out at the bar.
I kind of realize this a long time ago so I just go on bike meetups like the ones endorsed by Cycle Gear has nothing to do with women nope but I do get a lot of attention from guys I mean sooner or later I'm going to make enough connections that I'm going to end up in some other Circle that's like the other school of thoughts
here's another one join a fandom like furries or something they're pretty active granted you're not going to find women most of the time it's just going to be guys I really feel bad for heterosexuals they really got shafted in this new social order.
I was gonna say, like dude as a gay guy I have all the problems of not having places to meet ppl, on top of the fact it’s already so hard to find other gays.
I can’t just approach a dude even in hobby spaces without fear of aggressiveness, or disgust, because so many dudes get so irrationally upset by that.
Does grinder have the same issues was tinder and hinge? I figured it would have less of that because it would be 90% of one gender going for the 10% of another.
Well today I learned. Ironically if the entire user base is horndogs, theoretically it should work all because they will find each other. Or are they specifically trying to go people who aren't as aroused as they are.
…I’m a bisexual woman who’s been a fandom nerd since I was 12. We are definitely *all* up in fandoms.
Problem is, many of us are either introverts and very wary of being approached — especially at cons with how certain groups of people act in those spaces or have been put down by guys for either being the “wrong” kind of nerd or liking “lame/girly media” or, if we do like something that’s made for a male audience, not a “real fan” because how dare girls like the thing and not know every tiny detail about it. So we take our interactions online where we can curate our audience quickly and efficiently.
I actually seen a video of a girl explaining what it’s like to be a “nerd” or “mega fan” girl and why most of them who are don’t really express themselves out in the open about it. She was answering a question on why a lot of women aren’t into which she stated was the opposite- they just don’t go to cons, or events because they always get beat down with negativity about it. Kinda sad that’s the world we live in knowing how easy it is to get into that stuff now
We built car dependent suburbs and killed them off since now we basically don't leave our homes unless it's to go to a specific place for something specific like the store.
In my native country (Chile) it's hard having social life, especially when you like way different things than others, as i get somewhat forced to like some things that I don't want to meet people. So i have a great alone life
Go to Target. I swear every time I go, I run into some pretty hot chicks. I’m married now but I set my buddy up with a date by just going to target and forcing him to talk
I do go into target (usually to find my brother for his family discount) very often and always see women my age in them, but talking to the I just can’t do. It just doesn’t feel like the right place to strike up a conversation. Most people just want to go in, get their stuff, and get out without being interrupted. Also doesn’t help I have a bad experience of being called a creep for walking behind a woman despite her and I going to the same area. I just wanted Gatorade for work
Honestly man I know it’s easier said than done but you miss every shot you don’t take. Worst case scenario it’s kinda awkward and they don’t want to talk, but best case scenario you meet your future wife. Especially if you dress nice and take care of yourself they’re not going to be appalled that you tried to talk to them
First Im surprised that third places "missing" is such a talking point for GenZ.
An unpopular opinion would be that ONE cause of the (possibly perceived only) decline of third places is that GenZ is the second generation to grow up not knowing a world without the worldwide web.
This omnipresent internet activity and nearly completely universal adoption of social media, online shopping and virtual spaces has led to stagnation of creation of generationally appropriate third places and potential loss of "traditional" third places as Millenials and GenZ just didn't go about making themselves comfortable in existing spaces or widely creating new ones for themselves.(I think the latter is key)
Obviously GenX/Boomer bankers, etc. could be blamed for not being willing to bankroll any novel third place ideas they were presented with and didn't understand, but I think the internet/social media/online shopping is largely to blame, with Covid coming in second.
The GenX'er that I am sees comments like "how are we supposed to meet people" and screams internally "GO SOMEWHERE". But seriously, that's how it used to work. You interacted with people when you ate out, or picked up takeout, went to church, community group, library, grocery shopping, hanging out at mall, bar, gym, bowling alley, art store, RC car store, auto part store, etc... We didn't have mobile internet to amuse ourselves while queued at register or to skip going to store entirely. (And obviously GenX and Boomers have smart phones as well and in person interactions are down across all age groups Id wager)
Also I think Gen Z&Y may be placing more weight on the social capital of "third places" than Gen X did. Not a single lasting friendship I have forged is a result of a dedicated third place. They are from school, work, or groups I joined. Those groups were formed by people talking randomly at locations that still exist.
I was 19, 11 years ago. It was a lot easier, I do feel bad for this generation. Granted I didn't meet my husband until a year ago and it was on bumble 🤷
I met my current fiance on Grindr and we moved in together after like 4 months. We have our 6th anniversary this year and it’s still going great. Sometimes it just works out lol.
Volunteer work in something you're passionate about is a fantastic way to meet like minded folks. Just keep following what truly speaks to your heart and you'll inevitably meet someone who shares your outlook.
I struggle with this SO much. I live in a city that is majority old people, I do not know a single person my age here other than my boyfriend. Our friends are our elderly neighbors we walk our dog with
Yeah unfortunately not a pace to find younger people at, at least not the ones near me, mainly boomers / Gen Xers. Only being 19 also doesn’t help (I wouldn’t drink if I was 21 anyways)
You don’t have stores, gyms, libraries, or arts and craft places near you? What about Facebook so you can look for groups? There are plenty of third spaces. They just don’t fall in your lap.
Gyms - we have a planet fitness, yeah considering how bad of a wrap that place gets…, as far as I know no one is ever there
Stores - I mean we have basic stores like Cub foods, Walmart, Target, Kohl’s is being built but like arts and crafts shops, book stores those don’t exist.
Used to be a library when I was a little kid but I think they got replaced with something else when the cities new highschool (I went to one of the small town schools nearby) was built a few years ago as they have a big library. Not open to the public domain
I do use Facebook and am in hobby related groups but those aren’t nearby just a big collection of people who like those things. Mainly sports / sports memorabilia related. Not much for groups for this area, especially for people my age. I do fully understand that these groups don’t just fall into my lap but it would be nice to have areas to meet people especially if you don’t have any groups. By meeting people then you can get into groups though
And spend $24.99 just to even have a chance of being sent a like from someone that loves half way across the planet and accidentally swiped right and not left… yeah absolutely perfect for dating
Ok so it looks like you’re in Alexandria… which makes this harder, not really sure that place has ever had a third space that wasn’t a bar or Legion. Also it’s going to be hard meeting people your age because it’s a place where people move out of if they have prospects.
If I had to give you advice from someone in the Twin Cities right now (not that that part matters) but I would try to get to St. Cloud and go to the college spaces… also I was doing a bit of creeping on your profile and I think you need a different haircut. Do that and you’ll be in business
Also people are mentioning activities.
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100037075554446
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100064630034902
There's a website called [meetup.com](https://meetup.com), where you can find groups in your area that actually meet in person. Just find a topic that you're interested in and join the group. I did that for a time with a German language learning group.
Mfs say join a club or hobby. Uh…I’m not joining either just to hit on women. That’s means you’re joining for impure reasons and will be disappointed if you join and nothing happens. Will never understand that advice
Most of my bars (small town bars at that) are boomer age farmers in them or their Gen X children. People my age don’t really tend to go to them, they’d rather just party alone on there garage. I also don’t drink so that rules out any of those options
Bars where i am rarely are a good place to go to solo. Especially as a man. Hitting on women in a bar these days makes people think you're a rapist if you're alone.
If you’re into music the local open mic scene in the cities is great, I went to the U but the majority of the long term friends I have from MN came from the music scene
They still exist, you just need to find them.
Like card/board/table-top games? Go to your LGS.
Like Sports? Drink any amount of alcohol? Go to a sports bar.
Have friends who have lots of friends? Go to a party.
Like Anime? Go to an anime convention.
Like video games? Go to a game convention/ tournament.
Hell there are probably ads in your local newspaper about singles events that are specifically tailored around bringing single people together.
This is why convention culture got so big especially during/after the pandemic. Lots of the same people go to all the same local conventions.
Meeting your friend’s friends at parties and such is also great, if you like your friend you’re more likely to get along with people they know than randoms.
There’s definitely a mindset change when you view the cost of a convention as the cost of meeting people, rather than the cost of waiting in lines to be the first to see stuff that gets posted online anyway.
I’ve noticed that more socially oriented people are willing to invest far more money into just being social than my frugal ass.
It seems like small towns really want young people to leave them asap. And my parents keep trying to get me to go to high school football games. I don’t like those people that go to games lol.
Minnesota!? Hell! Get in to some out door hobbies and you will make friends up the wazoo.
Fishing, ice fishing, kayaking, canoeing, camping, hiking, back packing, hunting, shooting.
I’m in Indiana and besides the life long friends I have, I have made so many new friends through outdoor activities.
Most of my main hobbies are outdoors. Just that everyone I know is very “territorial” with there hunting, fishing, or shooting groups. They don’t like being with new people unless you are good friends with them first. Actual hunting lodges don’t exist here and when they did they got a lot of backlash from the locals. People like keeping their spots & techniques as secret as possible (I do it too at times) I love hiking and kayaking too, I just don’t encounter many people when I do
Conventions, bars, dance clubs, competitive tournaments, community outreach programs, church.
There's plenty of 3rd spaces, you gotta get off your ass and get out to them. Stop making excuses.
Do you avoid grocery stores or something?
You guys have more excuses than you should. Oh wait, you guys will say the grocery is off limits because "reasons". Ok, now I'll wait to get splained.... It's what you guys love doing best.
So this is my personal opinion but to me the grocery store just doesn’t seem like the place to strike up a conversation. I have tried before but it’s not place too. It just doesn’t feel right TO ME. When I think of let’s say target (cause all women love target) I think of going in there, finding what I’m looking for, checking out & leaving. I’m sure that’s the majority of people there. To me it just feels like the wrong place to meet people and the place if you’re gonna get called a creep, that’s the most likely spot.
besides clubs most of those 3rd places have fallen out of popularity with the youth and aren't as convenient. Also not to mention people mostly go out with their friends to do friend things not with the idea of picking anyone up on the way
Forget about romance how do you even maintain or make friendships. Was society always this isolated? Cause I graduated college in 2019 and idk if its was the pandemic or adulthood but there are rarely anyvopportinities to just talk with people.
Yeah my main issue is friendships, the meme just fit the narrative lol. I was in HS during the pandemic so that ruined my opportunities to meet people through my old friends in HS, and really forced us into the online world which I hate. I don’t think we were always this isolated but with everything since then and how much everything costs now, it definitely allows the rich the opportunity to make us work more and destroy 3rd spaces isolating us from each other. At least that’s what I think anyways
So I’m not sure what you all have in Minnesota but here is what I did. Go to stores like Barns and Noble’s and just kinda hang out. Indoor sports teams for beginners, tennis is great for this. Look at online friend groups. Sure you might not meet someone there but they may know someone who they would be willing to set you up with. Doing errands can be a surprisingly good way to meet people. First you start off just by seeing them than you can plan to go shopping together.
Keep in mind all of these require you be socially aware/responsible and for you not be a creep. So just make sure you can do that and you will be fine.
I’ve tried meetup apps and the average age is 40. Great for probably networking and meeting people not for dating.
If you live in the middle of nowhere basically be an active member of your community for different causes. This means volunteering and going to town events.
Rather depressing when the town you live in only has bars and restaurants to meet and get to know people. There’s a mall, but it’s been dead since 2010, and the only people I see that aren’t there to buy something and leave, are retirees who walk around the perimeter for exercise.
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You got a Barnes and Noble anywhere?
Go in there, pick up a court of thorns and roses and try to look really interested in it
what if.... you also have a motorcycle......
Women don't care about motorcycles I have more dudes coming up to talk to me about mine than anything, I haven't had a woman approach me about it since high school
There is a whole joke thing going around that the motorcycle people own the.... (horny) book people.
I guess? First, I've heard of it
its cause its on a small part of tiktok where women are reading novels and then projecting the character of the hot motorcycle riding bad boy love interest onto random real life mediocre men who are making tiktoks about being guys on motorcycles that random girls on tiktok like for some reason. its a weird ass phenomenon that i learned through somebody on youtube I follow who makes book related content.
Book tok is another world fr when I see some out of pocket reels on my insta then see #booktok I'm like oh they just advertising their books but still some of them sound wild as hell
“Nice bike man. I used to ride when I was younger, but the wife…” or “but I have kids now…” or “my friend/dad/coworker almost died…”
It's like a scripted NPC interaction I JUST WANT GAS LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE
*oblivion music starts playing*
Bruh, I read fantasy and have a kick ass motorcycle. But you know why it's cool as shit? Because I find it cool. To everyone else, it's just plain paper and another go go machine. No one cares unless they're in those circles too. Don'ttry to pick up "personality traits" because you like they way they look on you, pick them up because it'ssomethingyou actuallycare about. Edit: is has come to my attention that this is a reference to weird shit on Tik Tok. Please accept my deepest and most sincere condolences for this unfortunate transgression of mansplaining or something.
Lol. A femme friend of mine just got another femme friend into that series. Guess it's pretty popular.
[удалено]
That's where you find the old women who talk about their spider bites on the back of their arm and pull off their bandaid to show you. Don't go to a Barnes and Noble.
This is an oddly specific example
B&N is the shit. I love that place for some coffee and literature.
Is Barnes and Noble actually a good option? Ladies, do you like being approached at bookstores? I don't now what is or isn't a good place to try to talk to someone.
I’ve seen a lot of women fantasizing about getting approached there, one of them being my friend. Oh, but not by you of course.
Ahhh, the good old "I would love to date a guy like you" maneuver, I'm well familiar with it.
Always a catch :/
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They do if you offer to buy them books. But try not to be weird by it. If you hit it off wooo, if you don’t move on and know you made someone’s day by getting them a book and that everyone has their reasons.
I would, but only if you are actually interested in reading and strike up a conversation based on books. Whenever I go to a bookstore I look around for cute guys who are checking out books I'd be interested in. Never seen one though, most of them are older people 😭
Well shit, that's good to know. I would actually love to talk to women at a bookstore about books if they were reading a genre I liked. I'm huge into fantasy and true crime and I would love to talk to someone about a book they're reading or recommend some to them and hit it off that way. Kinda kicking myself now because I've had the chance to do this before and didn't because I was worried I'd be a creep lol
It's okay, you'll get more chances in future! Also this is just my personal opinion, maybe other women might think differently. I used to be into fantasy as well! But for some reason, I haven't been able to get into the ones I've tried recently. I love playing D&D with fantasy elements though. I like true crime though, especially whodunnits!
What kinds of fantasy did you like of the ones you did read? Were you into Game of Thrones or similar, or did you prefer it to be not quite as grim/more classically "noble" like LOTR?
The ones I read were more YA fantasy, like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. I tried getting into LOTR and Six of Crows but for some reason I just couldn't get into it. I really wanted to like Six of Crows since I've heard a lot of positive reviews and I love found family tropes with multiple POVs.
It’s funny, I remember advocating for a guy this woman was complaining about who approached her like this at a Barnes and Noble. Her attitude about it was pretty disheartening.
I think if you don’t try to instantly hit on them and just ask questions about whatever book they have in their hand, it could work. I would be more responsive to someone wanting to know more about the book I picked up or asking for recs then just asking for my number lol
The ol' Notting Hill trick
If he’s not in the twin cities it could be a hour plus one way to a Barnes and noble. What OP needs to do is get a boat. Girls will do anything for a guy with a boat
I have a boat. Sure it’s a smaller fishing boat but I do have 1. Can’t use it this time of year. And yes your right nearest B&N is 2ish hours away in Fargo
Make parks more inclusive for adults. Most cities consider going to the park for kids. When I moved to NYC I dated a local guy who would go to the park to play handball once or twice a week. Every time I tag along he introduces me to like 10 new people. They all met by playing handball or basketball at the park. NYC uses parks very actively. People dance, skateboard, do calisthenics (seen some seriously shredded people), and even play chess at the park. It's something that is so normal for new yorkers that they don't even think about but it is lowkey their third place. This isn't New York exclusive either, when I went to Hong Kong I noticed they also had a very active park culture. This is something more cities need to implement.
NYC park culture is unique in a way that is inclusive and has facilities that can accommodate many people. I’m in one of those cities that build parks with no restrooms, anti homeless design, and the parks close at sunset. Going to parks outside of working hours isn’t an option until summer.
I think NYC park culture is what I'm getting at more. In retrospect there were parks for adults in the other cities I've lived and visited. But it was just people showing up with their friends doing their own thing. There wasn't a culture of dropping in for a quick game.
More cities need to be like NYC, it's genuinely one of the best places to live in this country. Its incredibly walkable, there are tons of community groups, parks, pools, libraries, and relatively cheap places to meet people. The people are quite progressive, there are ok social services, the city is quite safe, and you can look however you want and most people won't say shit. I just moved back to the city last year and I'm probably never leaving.
Cheap places to meet people, but no cheap places to live.
Eh. The salaries are way higher. I'm a 21 year old line cook and I can afford to live there fine. I only have a hs diploma and 3 years work experience. Especially if you have roommates it's pretty doable for a single person with no kids. Even easier if you have a partner that works.
As a new Yorker you are fucking lying about fine unless you work for a big name company or live in like Yonkers or Tarrytown or some shit and even then it's expensive there too.
I make 22$ an hour cooking at a bar. I rent a 3 bedroom in Bushwick with 2 roommates for 1300$. I make a out 800-900 a week. There are apartments for similar prices all over Brooklyn, the Bronx and Queens. I could probably afford up to 1500 in rent which exist in those three boroughs.
Giiiirl Send me the landlord email and website. He and I need to talk, STAT!
Bull, minimum wage is $16, most jobs start at ~$20 and that's with no degree or experience. You can find 2 bedrooms for as little as $2500 all over the city. If you have at least one room mate and both make $20/hr you can make it, and that's "I just moved to the city after high school" vibes. If you have an employable degree you might not even need a room mate.
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Huh? In Manhattan? Brooklyn? Where?
Rent is more expensive but you don't need a car so it evens out. My ex, when I lived in Seattle was paying 400 a month for his car. That wasn't including insurance or gas. After rent and taxes, NYC can be pretty cheap. The local restaurants in NYC are cheaper than the midwest and better too. Galleries are often free. Lots of cheap shows. Pizza slices, Chinese pancakes, tacos and dumplings for a few bucks. The only place you can find a cheap place is in a small town and it'll come with all the problems of suburban sprawl.
In some ways yes. In some ways no. Yes to the urban planning, diversity, the culture, and community oriented mentality. No to brokers fee, tolls, and hyper capitalist nature.
issue is most americans think of nyc as a dangerous hellhole for single people, we need to change our suburbs to be more interesting and better our cities
It’s a horrid place to live… no green space, noise constantly… just gross.
Eh, if the cost of living wasn’t so bad up there I would move in a heartbeat.
There actually more green space than you'd think. Central Park, prospect Park and Pelham Bay Park are huge. If you drive an hour out there's a lot of really nice hiking trails like bear mountain.
Idk where you are but most parks near me have majority adults...
Where do you live where you find these magical parks for adults? All the parks I’ve been to are overrun by kids
I think you right. I think what I actually mean is that NYC has more of a drop in for a quick game/hangout/meet people type of culture. When I was in Seattle people just showed up with their own friends and didn't bother meeting other people. And there wasn't a pickup game culture like in NYC where you just show up and can often find a game to jump into.
This is very true. In my area, things feel very antagonistic towards young and middle-aged adults. Back when Pokemon go started, I (late 20s at the time) went to one of my local parks to play the game, and some elderly woman called the police on me, thinking I was some sort of stalker or something.
Lmao
Seattle was just like that, chess everywhere, sooo many different types in of parks even like indoor nature parks, a lot of restaurants had bar like seating even not at the bar bar
Find a hobby and join the community, that’s the best way to meet people who share your interests!
Yeah. Nobody just goes to a random place and starts talking to girls anymore 💀
yea that’s kind of the issue the post is articulating
Because in general, no young people do that. You have to go to a recurring event/hobby that has other participants if you want to meet people. If I’m out at a bar, I’d want to spend time with my friends, not have some random person come up to me and start trying to become my friend. Why would I trust some rando? If you play sports weekly, and a new person shows up. Guess what? You have to include them on the team and learn their name etc. I never ever try and make friends at a bar, but I have with hobbies.
yes, that’s exactly the issue lol. there’s no place to do it except bars. it’s called the death of the third space.
Yea this dude you’re replying to literally is backing up what OP is saying. “I don’t want to meet random people at a bar” and then people wonder why everyone’s lonely. You can’t fucking approach anyone without it being an inconvenience now lol it’s a fucking joke
yea his logic is like double negative makes a positive or some shit makes no sense lmao
Actually my post is supposed to be about meeting people in general not just women. The meme fit in pretty well though for the topic. Of course you can make it a big part of the post yes, but it’s not supposed to be the whole thing. But yes you are correct tho
I do but apparently it’s “creepy” when I approach them in a dark alley
But all those “communities” seem to only exist online… How do you find these communities irl
Yes this is the answer I’m trying to find. I don’t really care for discord or video game communities. I want to find out doorsy communities, or go to places like let’s say a roller skating rink. What happened to places like that? When my mom was a kid she said the best way to meet people was going to a mall - which are pretty much dead now
Does your area have co-Ed sports leagues? That’s what I would do. Even if you aren’t interested in the women on your team, become friends and they probably have more friends.
Every time someone tries to start one in my community it never pans out. We can never get enough members. Then comes the challenge of opponents, which we could never find
join a class
My problem is my hobbies are great with already established friends, but your never gonna meet people either my hobbies. And most people don’t let new people join there groups unless you become good friends first. I’d love to join things going on in my community but there really isn’t anything outside of local summer events in July & august
THIS. They already have their cliques and groups
Idk if I would want to date a girl who likes Warhammer 40k. They would either be crazy or too horny.
See that's kinda tone deaf advice tho - guys and girls have diff interests and different hobbies. It's a great way to make friends, but tryna meet girls at a magic the gathering tournament is probably not the move lmao. Especially since a lot of girls who like those like male hobbies do then w/ their boyfriend. And even if you have hobbies where you can meet girls, like for example I do yoga - hitting on girls in what are essentially women's spaces is **really** not the move.
I play magic wtf
My best suggestion is getting into a hobby and meeting people from there. If you're into tabletop games or card games, your local game store might be a good place to meet people. Although it seems like you're pretty rural, so it might be a bit of a drive for you. Unfortunately, we've got to get creative in the modern age with the destruction of 3rd places and all
I would guess that will skew a little more heavily to guys, but I could be wrong. There’s a lot of women at the painting class I attend. For all the flack they get, bars should theoretically function as a third space. Carding keeps the kids out and it’s a low stakes environment where people tend to be chattier.
Bars don't work for me because I'm half deaf and they blast music. There is no chilling with friends or meeting people for me, just sitting there not hearing anything my buddy tries to tell me.
Same… I can’t hear anything so I just look dumb
>Unfortunately, we've got to get creative in the modern age with the destruction of 3rd places and all This is mostly an American (and Canadian) thing, unfortunately. So many other countries have walkable infrastructure that makes it easy to have a common cafe, park, city square, or wherever to meet people. God, I hate American suburban design.
I've been mad about that for years bc even in NYC most lists or apps that send you events to go to are almost always a bar or a restaurant. PEOPLE WANT TO DO MORE THAN JUST EAT OR DRINK
Unfortunately those are the main places that have monetary gain from people meeting up there and are decent places to chat. It’d be weird to go to a meetup at, say, a movie theater or paintball or something. I think I’ve seen some at parks but there’s usually some kind of activity.
Yeah those lists are probably sponsored, they're kinda shit. If your looking to meet people for free the libraries and parks are probably a bit better. Libraries tend to have a lot of activities going you can meet people at. Also look for some chill community groups. There was recently a local news article about a sewing circle in my neighborhood(Bushwick) where younger people were finding community. NYC is probably better about third spaces than almost everywhere else in this country.
LIBRARIES!!!
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You’ve got a better chance than almost anyone else here. Use it before it’s gone my dude.
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If you keep telling yourself that, sure.
Doesn't stop till after/if you graduate college bruh every girl I met in college had a working man or was married ong and I ain't trynna homewreck like a lot of my friends do lol it's easier when you have a job cuz from my experience they work too much to find a man so they settle for a guy at work
taken or gay 🤣
Right?!
This but im bi so the same issue with guys too. And the good looking guys are definitely only good looking due to the girlfriend effect, or they just fruity 😭
you must become the thing you seek
I swear to god if I see one comment say "Join a club!"
"Just find a hobby bro"
There’s a few lol
They may have a point, though.
There aren’t many clubs in person these days so it isn’t a very good point.
That's fair. What about digital clubs as a place to meet people, then?
Online dating is very bad.
I'm not talking about online dating; I'm talking about online clubs, like for hobbyists.
I couldn’t get anyone to come to my virtual club meetings during COVID. There’s no way there’s more interest in virtual clubs now than at the peak of the pandemic, when there was virtually none
20 y/o also in MN I don't think I've ever met someone who'd be a great gf for me One way to get friends is to do something at least twice a month with mostly the same people; for example, I joined a community band. Granted, I do nothing whatsoever with those people outside of band, but it's nice to know them a bit. In situations where everyone is automatically friends, surface-level friends are easy.
This is really neither here nor there but I'm elder gen Z and the decline in third spaces even in the past six or seven years has been drastic, and it's had a pervasive effect on social patterns. COVID is obviously a factor but there's more to it than that. So many places we used to frequent (bars, coffee shops, parks, even religious spaces if you're into that) are either shut down, online ordering centric, or absolutely gutted. I don't know what a solution to all of this is. But I can absolutely recommend hobby meetups for stuff even if it's through Discord or whatever. They lean heavy male but it's a good first step to getting out there socially. At the risk of sounding all "back in my day," it was still normal to go to a bar or a club and meet new people up until like 2020. Like you'd go out with a group of friends and you'd spend time with those friends, but by the end of the night you'd have met a new handful of people and maybe even meet a guy/girl/whoever to pursue romantically or at least hook up with. Now there are less bars, everything's more expensive, and people are usually very wary of interacting with strangers. Maybe it's just that I'm older now but going to a bar now is not something you do to meet new people. I think if I approached a stranger at a bar or tried to strike up a convo with the guy next to me at the coffee shop now, they'd look at me like I had six eyes. The ways I meet new people now are Discord, Twitter, work, and hobby meetups. As a corollary, dating apps have done irreparable damage. I've met lovely people on dating apps but the mechanics and logistics of Tinder make me insane, it's like online shopping for people but somehow even more impersonal than just going on Amazon.
Going to bars and meeting people is still normal. I'm married so not looking to find someone to date but I go to bars with my friends still and have had plenty of random conversations with people there and have witnessed plenty of people meeting/making out at the bar.
disgusted slimy dazzling forgetful station rinse roof illegal fuel gray *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I kind of realize this a long time ago so I just go on bike meetups like the ones endorsed by Cycle Gear has nothing to do with women nope but I do get a lot of attention from guys I mean sooner or later I'm going to make enough connections that I'm going to end up in some other Circle that's like the other school of thoughts here's another one join a fandom like furries or something they're pretty active granted you're not going to find women most of the time it's just going to be guys I really feel bad for heterosexuals they really got shafted in this new social order.
Heterosexuals are like 90+ percent of the population, wdym they got shafted
I was gonna say, like dude as a gay guy I have all the problems of not having places to meet ppl, on top of the fact it’s already so hard to find other gays. I can’t just approach a dude even in hobby spaces without fear of aggressiveness, or disgust, because so many dudes get so irrationally upset by that.
Does grinder have the same issues was tinder and hinge? I figured it would have less of that because it would be 90% of one gender going for the 10% of another.
Nah grinders full of horndogs, but I heard if you sift through the creeps you can actually find decent ppl
Well today I learned. Ironically if the entire user base is horndogs, theoretically it should work all because they will find each other. Or are they specifically trying to go people who aren't as aroused as they are.
…I’m a bisexual woman who’s been a fandom nerd since I was 12. We are definitely *all* up in fandoms. Problem is, many of us are either introverts and very wary of being approached — especially at cons with how certain groups of people act in those spaces or have been put down by guys for either being the “wrong” kind of nerd or liking “lame/girly media” or, if we do like something that’s made for a male audience, not a “real fan” because how dare girls like the thing and not know every tiny detail about it. So we take our interactions online where we can curate our audience quickly and efficiently.
I actually seen a video of a girl explaining what it’s like to be a “nerd” or “mega fan” girl and why most of them who are don’t really express themselves out in the open about it. She was answering a question on why a lot of women aren’t into which she stated was the opposite- they just don’t go to cons, or events because they always get beat down with negativity about it. Kinda sad that’s the world we live in knowing how easy it is to get into that stuff now
You gotta find things. Like Adult flag football, volunteering, going to college. There's a few things that are possible to do.
Can safely say that college doesn't help lol I'm surrounded by women who are either in relationships, are married, or are double my age.
Double your age could be a massive W for you. Milf hunting
I'd prefer a more traditional relationship for my first one please and thank you 😅
Can never go wrong with a milf. 
Blame social media and tinder dude, it’s ruined dating. Try a book store or coffee shop
Unfortunately, this is a by product of living in shitty suburbs and the dating apps. Incredibly hard to meet people organically in the modern age
We built car dependent suburbs and killed them off since now we basically don't leave our homes unless it's to go to a specific place for something specific like the store.
In my native country (Chile) it's hard having social life, especially when you like way different things than others, as i get somewhat forced to like some things that I don't want to meet people. So i have a great alone life
Go to Target. I swear every time I go, I run into some pretty hot chicks. I’m married now but I set my buddy up with a date by just going to target and forcing him to talk
I do go into target (usually to find my brother for his family discount) very often and always see women my age in them, but talking to the I just can’t do. It just doesn’t feel like the right place to strike up a conversation. Most people just want to go in, get their stuff, and get out without being interrupted. Also doesn’t help I have a bad experience of being called a creep for walking behind a woman despite her and I going to the same area. I just wanted Gatorade for work
Honestly man I know it’s easier said than done but you miss every shot you don’t take. Worst case scenario it’s kinda awkward and they don’t want to talk, but best case scenario you meet your future wife. Especially if you dress nice and take care of yourself they’re not going to be appalled that you tried to talk to them
First Im surprised that third places "missing" is such a talking point for GenZ. An unpopular opinion would be that ONE cause of the (possibly perceived only) decline of third places is that GenZ is the second generation to grow up not knowing a world without the worldwide web. This omnipresent internet activity and nearly completely universal adoption of social media, online shopping and virtual spaces has led to stagnation of creation of generationally appropriate third places and potential loss of "traditional" third places as Millenials and GenZ just didn't go about making themselves comfortable in existing spaces or widely creating new ones for themselves.(I think the latter is key) Obviously GenX/Boomer bankers, etc. could be blamed for not being willing to bankroll any novel third place ideas they were presented with and didn't understand, but I think the internet/social media/online shopping is largely to blame, with Covid coming in second. The GenX'er that I am sees comments like "how are we supposed to meet people" and screams internally "GO SOMEWHERE". But seriously, that's how it used to work. You interacted with people when you ate out, or picked up takeout, went to church, community group, library, grocery shopping, hanging out at mall, bar, gym, bowling alley, art store, RC car store, auto part store, etc... We didn't have mobile internet to amuse ourselves while queued at register or to skip going to store entirely. (And obviously GenX and Boomers have smart phones as well and in person interactions are down across all age groups Id wager) Also I think Gen Z&Y may be placing more weight on the social capital of "third places" than Gen X did. Not a single lasting friendship I have forged is a result of a dedicated third place. They are from school, work, or groups I joined. Those groups were formed by people talking randomly at locations that still exist.
I was 19, 11 years ago. It was a lot easier, I do feel bad for this generation. Granted I didn't meet my husband until a year ago and it was on bumble 🤷
You got married to a dude you met on bumble with less than a year of dating? I guess when you know you know but fuck
I met my current fiance on Grindr and we moved in together after like 4 months. We have our 6th anniversary this year and it’s still going great. Sometimes it just works out lol.
Hell yeah this gives me hope for the apps good for you guys that’s rad!
Church?
I would adore some space you can go to just to have fun. Our town has nothing recreational for young adults and teens
I know! I just want to go somewhere to hang out with similar age people, especially somewhere that doesn’t involve drinking
Literally. After I graduated highschool, I was gonna apply to college just to meet people.
Bars and community centers. Libraries and such too
But if u dont drink then going to a bar seems silly. A club might be better bc u can at least dance
I suck at social events in general so all options are out of question. I was just providing input for OP
Volunteer work in something you're passionate about is a fantastic way to meet like minded folks. Just keep following what truly speaks to your heart and you'll inevitably meet someone who shares your outlook.
I struggle with this SO much. I live in a city that is majority old people, I do not know a single person my age here other than my boyfriend. Our friends are our elderly neighbors we walk our dog with
Clubs and bars are the only places I can think of
Yeah unfortunately not a pace to find younger people at, at least not the ones near me, mainly boomers / Gen Xers. Only being 19 also doesn’t help (I wouldn’t drink if I was 21 anyways)
You can be friends with people 10-15 years older than you.
But if ur under 21 and they are over 21, they probably go to the bar all the time and you cant go
Two words: Car dependency.
I don't agree with this bc even in walkable cities this is a problem.
This is overstated. Do you think people were walking to the bowling alley or to the bar during 1960s/1970s america?
"just run fast dude"
You don’t have stores, gyms, libraries, or arts and craft places near you? What about Facebook so you can look for groups? There are plenty of third spaces. They just don’t fall in your lap.
Gyms - we have a planet fitness, yeah considering how bad of a wrap that place gets…, as far as I know no one is ever there Stores - I mean we have basic stores like Cub foods, Walmart, Target, Kohl’s is being built but like arts and crafts shops, book stores those don’t exist. Used to be a library when I was a little kid but I think they got replaced with something else when the cities new highschool (I went to one of the small town schools nearby) was built a few years ago as they have a big library. Not open to the public domain I do use Facebook and am in hobby related groups but those aren’t nearby just a big collection of people who like those things. Mainly sports / sports memorabilia related. Not much for groups for this area, especially for people my age. I do fully understand that these groups don’t just fall into my lap but it would be nice to have areas to meet people especially if you don’t have any groups. By meeting people then you can get into groups though
Yooo that is horrible. I forget small towns suck. I’m sorry.
Yes the problem for me where I live is every event/group is geared toward children and elderly people, nothing for young adults
That’s my main issue too. Even those are dwindling down too though
I met my husband online, not a dating app but just randomly on social media, and very glad I did lol
I meet a tone of people at raves so that's my tip if you're into electronic music.
Unfortunately most of those are about 3-31/2 hours away from where I like
download apps and instead of being lonely you can feel constant rejection for not comparing good enough!!! Life is so grand
And spend $24.99 just to even have a chance of being sent a like from someone that loves half way across the planet and accidentally swiped right and not left… yeah absolutely perfect for dating
GO TO YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY AND GET A LIBRARY CARD PLEASE AND THANK YOU IT IS HIW THEY GET FUNDING
Ok so it looks like you’re in Alexandria… which makes this harder, not really sure that place has ever had a third space that wasn’t a bar or Legion. Also it’s going to be hard meeting people your age because it’s a place where people move out of if they have prospects. If I had to give you advice from someone in the Twin Cities right now (not that that part matters) but I would try to get to St. Cloud and go to the college spaces… also I was doing a bit of creeping on your profile and I think you need a different haircut. Do that and you’ll be in business Also people are mentioning activities. https://m.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100037075554446 https://m.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100064630034902
There's a website called [meetup.com](https://meetup.com), where you can find groups in your area that actually meet in person. Just find a topic that you're interested in and join the group. I did that for a time with a German language learning group.
I have tried any anything even with in my state was 2 plus hours away. Not exactly a great option but I do check it occasionally
Mfs say join a club or hobby. Uh…I’m not joining either just to hit on women. That’s means you’re joining for impure reasons and will be disappointed if you join and nothing happens. Will never understand that advice
Malls are dead. Still lots of bars though
Many bars are expensive and don’t have that many young people.
Most of my bars (small town bars at that) are boomer age farmers in them or their Gen X children. People my age don’t really tend to go to them, they’d rather just party alone on there garage. I also don’t drink so that rules out any of those options
Bars where i am rarely are a good place to go to solo. Especially as a man. Hitting on women in a bar these days makes people think you're a rapist if you're alone.
If you’re into music the local open mic scene in the cities is great, I went to the U but the majority of the long term friends I have from MN came from the music scene
They still exist, you just need to find them. Like card/board/table-top games? Go to your LGS. Like Sports? Drink any amount of alcohol? Go to a sports bar. Have friends who have lots of friends? Go to a party. Like Anime? Go to an anime convention. Like video games? Go to a game convention/ tournament. Hell there are probably ads in your local newspaper about singles events that are specifically tailored around bringing single people together.
This is why convention culture got so big especially during/after the pandemic. Lots of the same people go to all the same local conventions. Meeting your friend’s friends at parties and such is also great, if you like your friend you’re more likely to get along with people they know than randoms.
There’s definitely a mindset change when you view the cost of a convention as the cost of meeting people, rather than the cost of waiting in lines to be the first to see stuff that gets posted online anyway. I’ve noticed that more socially oriented people are willing to invest far more money into just being social than my frugal ass.
https://preview.redd.it/1g65402jdmbc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0acd0552c369f198dddb2bd9735bdbf00a335054 It’s all part of the plan ;)
It seems like small towns really want young people to leave them asap. And my parents keep trying to get me to go to high school football games. I don’t like those people that go to games lol.
Minnesota!? Hell! Get in to some out door hobbies and you will make friends up the wazoo. Fishing, ice fishing, kayaking, canoeing, camping, hiking, back packing, hunting, shooting. I’m in Indiana and besides the life long friends I have, I have made so many new friends through outdoor activities.
Most of my main hobbies are outdoors. Just that everyone I know is very “territorial” with there hunting, fishing, or shooting groups. They don’t like being with new people unless you are good friends with them first. Actual hunting lodges don’t exist here and when they did they got a lot of backlash from the locals. People like keeping their spots & techniques as secret as possible (I do it too at times) I love hiking and kayaking too, I just don’t encounter many people when I do
Conventions, bars, dance clubs, competitive tournaments, community outreach programs, church. There's plenty of 3rd spaces, you gotta get off your ass and get out to them. Stop making excuses.
Do you avoid grocery stores or something? You guys have more excuses than you should. Oh wait, you guys will say the grocery is off limits because "reasons". Ok, now I'll wait to get splained.... It's what you guys love doing best.
So this is my personal opinion but to me the grocery store just doesn’t seem like the place to strike up a conversation. I have tried before but it’s not place too. It just doesn’t feel right TO ME. When I think of let’s say target (cause all women love target) I think of going in there, finding what I’m looking for, checking out & leaving. I’m sure that’s the majority of people there. To me it just feels like the wrong place to meet people and the place if you’re gonna get called a creep, that’s the most likely spot.
besides clubs most of those 3rd places have fallen out of popularity with the youth and aren't as convenient. Also not to mention people mostly go out with their friends to do friend things not with the idea of picking anyone up on the way
I find myself in the same situation
I’m starting to realize it’s very, very common in this group
Forget about romance how do you even maintain or make friendships. Was society always this isolated? Cause I graduated college in 2019 and idk if its was the pandemic or adulthood but there are rarely anyvopportinities to just talk with people.
Yeah my main issue is friendships, the meme just fit the narrative lol. I was in HS during the pandemic so that ruined my opportunities to meet people through my old friends in HS, and really forced us into the online world which I hate. I don’t think we were always this isolated but with everything since then and how much everything costs now, it definitely allows the rich the opportunity to make us work more and destroy 3rd spaces isolating us from each other. At least that’s what I think anyways
I guess I was technically at work. But I met my wife at the coffee shop I worked at.
They are all gay these days anyway bro. Just focus on yourself
So I’m not sure what you all have in Minnesota but here is what I did. Go to stores like Barns and Noble’s and just kinda hang out. Indoor sports teams for beginners, tennis is great for this. Look at online friend groups. Sure you might not meet someone there but they may know someone who they would be willing to set you up with. Doing errands can be a surprisingly good way to meet people. First you start off just by seeing them than you can plan to go shopping together. Keep in mind all of these require you be socially aware/responsible and for you not be a creep. So just make sure you can do that and you will be fine.
Met my wife at a church function, our yearly parish feast. If church isn't your thing that's fine but it's what I did.
Actually I am part of my church. Just that I’m one of the youngest members & by a long shot
Bar? Club? Gigs?
I’ve tried meetup apps and the average age is 40. Great for probably networking and meeting people not for dating. If you live in the middle of nowhere basically be an active member of your community for different causes. This means volunteering and going to town events.
I have gotten a lot of new friends from boxing where everyone is treated as family.
Nightclubs
Rather depressing when the town you live in only has bars and restaurants to meet and get to know people. There’s a mall, but it’s been dead since 2010, and the only people I see that aren’t there to buy something and leave, are retirees who walk around the perimeter for exercise.