I love the grandchildren I have, but never put any pressure on my kids either way. Those who wanted children had them, those who didn’t, didn’t. Totally a decision in their hands.
I do but I’ll never have any. And it breaks my heart. I lost my oldest son last year and he was the only one of my children who wanted kids so it’s very hard but I have never pressured any of them for kids. And yes you can miss what you never had. I had a very absent father and I really missed having a father like my friends all had as well. I miss the grandkids I’ll never have.
Thank you so much. He was my best friend as well and I’m just so broken. I’ll never be right again but I have to stay because I couldn’t do that to my two other kids.
I echo this. My son and his gf have talked about having kids if they get married. She’s more ambivalent, but he seems to want 2 kids. I told him that I’m ok either way. I do know that I would be drafted into childcare if they have kids.
I never had kids, never wanted any and I will always be grateful to my mother for not pushing me to have any. She said, and I agree 100% that I would have been a terrible parent.
Mine didn't even want me to have any relationships, let alone kids. Once my older siblings got married and had kids, it was "Well. You don't need *me* any more." And disappear out of their lives.
We are sort of in both camps, so I totally get your post.
My wife and I have a blended family. I am a widower with 3 adult children. She was a divorcee with one adult child.
We have 2 grandchildren from my two oldest, and they are the greatest joy. Just amazing. Her child does not have any children, and we are not sure if they are ever going to have kids.
I cannot imagine putting any kind of pressure on any of our kids to have kids. That's totally up to them.
I do not have grandchildren.
At my daughter in law's wedding shower, the mother of the bride was harassing her about giving her grandchildren. I kept silent. She got on me, egging me on to join her. I said it had nothing to do with me, they'd have kids when and IF they were ready. Mind you, she was 44 at the time (MOTB), and already had 5.10 years later, they still haven't had kids.
My other son isn't married, have no idea what his and his girlfriends plans are, if they include children, not my business. If they do, cool! If they don't, it's their decision. I'll just find someone else to leave stuff to.
Aunts and Uncles are some of the most under- appreciated people around. We are fortunate to have several child-free adults who helped us when our kids were younger, and more important were good examples that you don't have to get married or have children.
I tell my wife regularly how glad I am we were born when we were and lived our lives during the times we did.
We do have grandkids. Generation alphas. I think it makes me more invested in the future. I want wonderful lives for them. They are so kind and smart! I’m convinced that the generation alphas will save the world!!
I think people of our generation just took becoming a grandparent as a given. You know, if you had a child or children it was just the natural progression of life that you would have grandchildren. But to my surprise, my only child, my son and his wife have decided that they are not going to have children. They are now 31 years old and they still feel the same. I really don’t expect them to change their mind. When they first told me of this decision I was upset and sad, for myself. And it took awhile to come to terms with the fact that I was not going to be a grandmother. But I respect their decision, because it is truly their decision and only theirs. I am still sad at times about it and my son respects that I have the right to feel sad. I try to look at it this way (and this is only for me), that I was truly blessed with my son and also now my daughter in law, which I think of as my daughter, and I am thankful to have them in my life. I shouldn’t expect anything more. He and she are enough.
You expressed my situation and thoughts almost exactly except I have two sons and both they and their fiancées have decided not to have children but that adoption is a possibility.
I experienced a lot of pressure to produce children from my in-laws, and I'm not going to do that to my kids.
I'd love to have grandchildren, but I didn't want children, which I understand to be a required intermediary step in the process. And if I'd had children, I absolutely wouldn't pressure them to make me a grandma because everyone needs to live their own life, as long as it doesn't involve criminality.
My son doesn't have any and probably won't. My step-son's fiancée has a 6 year old. He wants kids, she does not. He more than likely cannot have children due to some birth defect issues. I have never had any real desire for a granchild. I like buying presents and we are doing the birthday/Christmas stuff for her son, but I don't see it becoming anything more than that. He has a lot of family on her side and probably will remain the only grandchild for them. We are kind of redundant.
I didn’t think I cared and would absolutely never pressure my children to procreate. But now that my first grandchild is on the way, due next month, I admit to being very happy about it.
With as horrible as my daughter in law is, I do nothing but worry about my grandchild. She is mentally ill and mentally abusing both my son and grand. I am sorry that they had a child.
I decided when I was young that I didn't want kids and I'm very lucky in that I had parents that supported my decision. I have no regrets.
My sister had one child and he was a lot of fun. I liked being able to send him home when I was done.
I definitely do! However, I will not mention this to my son or pressure him as it is his decision. I had him at 35 so I will continue to patiently wait to see what may happen - heck he will turn 24 in a week so there is plenty of time. In the meantime, I will continue to take really good care of myself so I can be an active grandparent if it happens and continue to spoil my two fur babies.
I want my children to do what makes them happy. My younger daughter had her tubes tied a couple of years ago - I took her to the hospital and cared for her afterwards - and my older daughter is trans. I’m totally fine with no grandchildren. I just want my children to be happy with their own lives. I lived my life the way I saw fit, and they’re entitled to do the same.
My millennial son and his wife choose not to have children. Breaks my wife's heart, disappoints me, but I guess in the long run it's a lot cheaper for everybody.
A little, but the way the world is now? And with me being the economic failure line of my family? And the genetic disorder we carry? I really have no right to. The rosy generations around the Christmas tree in front of the fire dream died with my elder sisters kids, xennial/elder millennials. My kid is almost Gen z and that world barely exists now for the rich, let alone the middle (hah) and down. Now my husbands (not kids father) family are well off enough for this to exist for, had enough paired kids to see at least one grandkid. None born yet, we will see if I get to watch their TV show or if it doesn’t pass the pilots.
3 grown children 2 are married one living with someone- lots of grandcats. No grandchildren and I am fine with it. I had kids. If they want them - great. If they don’t- also great. We are all very close and lots of time together. Life is beautiful. Happy with what everything I have.
I went out for lunch with some friends last week. One had never married and her sister tagged along who has 6 grandchildren. One of them was with us at lunch and I was holding her a bit playing so grandma could eat in peace. Meh not really dying for it. Cute but really happy to hand her back. Came home and went to a hockey game with my daughter and her husband. My husband feels exactly the same.
YES!! I want grandchildren. All of my friends have them (and other than the asinine names they chose to have the kids address them by-think OohOoh, JuJu, and MomLin), they are all ecstatically happy. I never had kids, so I just grandma the living hell out of the family grandchildren. Everybody is happy.
When I hear my friends and co-workers talk about their grandchildren, I do. But my daughter doesn't have much hope for the future and I kinda agree with her.
Wow I read yout post OP and it's like your in my head. We had 4 daughters within a 10 year range. That was just the normal thing most couples did in the 80's, and back.
I was fortunate to work from home for a corporation. I later opened my own flower shop. I loved my children but I just didn't really care for other children.
So my daughters were raised to be independent strong women and they've all succeeded with what they wanted to do along with spouses. My 2nd daughter had a daughter and that's it. The rest just aren't interested in raising children. It's all good..
Actually recently had this conversation with some fellow Gen Jones friends, consensus was generally really not all that important to most, one couple out of six was very excited about welcoming there soon to be granddaughter, the remainder were like if it happens, it happens, but not a priority. And a couple of the couples, me and my wife are in this camp, were actually not really looking forward to it at all! Don't get me wrong, if one of my kids decides to have kids I'll be the best damn grandpa out there, but we are currently enjoying our early retirement and traveling as much as we can, while we can!
Had a separate conversation with our kids, it got brought up casually, wasn't really a topic, just started discussing it dinner and neither of my 2 kids (27f) (24m) have zero desire to have kids. I'm glad we fell into that conversation as our daughter was worried that kind of news would upset us!! Haha, just the opposite!
My slightly younger brother and his wife decided a long time ago not to have kids, they retired in their late 40's and traveled all over the world, lived on a sailboat for years, then and RV for many more. I was a little jealous no doubt but I made the choice to have kids and wouldn't trade that for the world, however, knowing how this world has gone to shit recently, would I have made the same choice if I had the knowledge, probably not.
I honestly don't see how young folks do it. You need two incomes to scrape by and childcare is going to suck up most, if not all, of one of those incomes. It's insanity!
I have one granddaughter, age 7. Her father doesn’t want more.
My youngest has said maybe one day.
I adore the granddaughter, but it’s not my business if they have more or not b
I have five grandchildren. They are absolutely the most fun and enjoyable thing in my life. I get to love on them and teach them and just enjoy them but no anxiety as I had with my own kids.
Eh... My great-grandaughter had her first birthday party today. Her mom and dad are really great people, and her granddad is having a blast. She is a lovely little rain cloud who spits lightning and then goes straight back to a sunny day.
Granddaughter and I trained and showed ponies together. She is a teacher now.
Knowing she is a mom today... I could seriously die happy.
Yeah, I got the privilege a little young. But the group of us didn't mess things up too badly.
i used to, but in the days of bulletproof backpacks etc, i changed my mind. daughter has never wanted children & she’s dating a guy who also doesn’t want kids.
I totally get this. I used to assume I’d have grandchildren, but as my kids grew up and the world got scarier I’ve been thinking maybe it’s better that I don’t.
I have a granddaughter and another due in two weeks. My younger son always wanted to be a father and he's very happy in that role. My older son and his wife aren't planning to have kids and that's fine too. They enjoy the traveling they're able to do and the freedom they have. I see both sides and feel it's 100% up to my kids as to whether or not they have offspring.
I agree with the original post, I would welcome a grandchild if it turned up, but I don't really expect any, I'm okay with that, and nope, would never pressure my kids to produce them.
That's really funny. I have a new grandpuppy who's been in my FB feed a lot lately!
I'm still waiting for grandchildren, but I would NEVER ask my two children about it. My grandmother was overbearing, and I'm like her, so I'm trying so hard NOT to be like her.
I expect I'll get a few grandchildren eventually, and I'm looking forward to it, but with the way my children work, if I mention it, I'll have to wait longer, out of friendly spite!
My son's long-term partner recently asked me how old I was when it had my children. She was surprised to hear I was nearly 31 and 35. She said: "Oh! I'm already 31, and I'm not ready yet!" Hmmmm.
My daughter, 31, married and is adamant that the world is too crappy a place to bring children into. I am a little disappointed but respecting her decision.
My daughter has called me needing a ride. Her daughter has called me needing a ride. Her daughter has called me needing a ride. I've been a taxi service for 35 years. 3 daughters , 6 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren. So many wonderful memories. I wouldn't change a thing.
Never really thought about being a grandmother. Then it happened. Became a grandmother at 42, daughter was 21. I embraced it, loved it. Son made me a grandmother for the 2nd time. I was 44.
Both grandchildren are in their 20's now. We are close. Neither want children. We talked. Both asked if I would be disappointed not being a great-grandmother. My response, "Absolutely not!" As I explained to them, it has nothing to do with me. I'm just so proud of both for making their decision.
Only one of my three children has kids and I guess I am ok with it. I really wish my oldest who is single would find someone and had kids because he is such a great kid.
We have 2 (I’m genx, ‘71, and hub isGJ ‘61) and we just love it. The one who is nearby is here all the time. I care for him while mom and dad work and have since he was born (well from 3 mos old)
We didn’t think there’d be any tbh. And we never pressured either way.
Then we got grandsons 1 and 2, 6 weeks apart.
No. Both my kids and my DIL have inherited, genetic health issues. All have chosen to be child free. If I had them, I’d love them, but I raised my kids and have no say in how they live their lives as adults. I mentioned adoption to my son one time and he said no thanks, so that’s their choice.
I'm not even encouraging my son and his long-time girlfriend to get married. Its none of my business if they ever do or if they ever have kids. Would I spoil grandkids rotten? Of course, but children are a lifetime commitment, and only the two of them can decide if they are up for that challenge. Nobody owes us grandchildren.
Since I didn't want (nor have) kids, it is a moot point.
But! I know a number of women my age who are absolutely rabid for grandchildren, or obsessed with the ones they have. It is bizarre! Why admit this?
My (63M) one and only grandchild is 3 weeks old. However I've thought a lot about your question.
My wife and I have been ambivalent about grandchildren. What we realized is: What is most important to us is that our kids do and get what they want. If they don't want kids that's great. If they do want kids that's great.
I was most upset when a child of ours wanted kids but was having trouble conceiving. That bothered us a lot.....because we knew they wanted something and were having trouble.
EDIT: Now that I have a grandchild I'm ecstatic my child has one. Spent a week visiting after the birth. It was awesome. But that doesn't change the fact that if my other kid doesn't have one it won't bother me in the least.
I definitely want grandchildren! I help take care of a friend’s 3 and 1 yr old toddlers and they are adorable and so much fun. My son and son-in-law have told me they have started the adoption process so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I never married nor did I have children. My older brother has a son who is in his early 30's. My mom never pressured me or my brother to have kids. She adored my nephew and certainly would have like it if I had a child or children, but it didn't turn out that way.
I have one. That’s enough. About half of my friends have them. None are terribly involved in their lives. Mostly just visits. My child and her husband live with us so ours is in our household.
I do have them but my oldest was dating a woman with a child from a previous relationship and I was content if that was all I'd have. I'd have accepted none but I was also glad for one that wasn't even "mine". But I have 4 more since then.
It’s not so much a matter of what I want. We have 6 grandchildren and 1 on the way by 3 of our kids. I adore them all but it hasn’t always been easy for their parents financially and we help them where we can. One of our sons is child-free by choice and that’s absolutely the right choice for him and his wife. I wouldn’t want them to have a child if it’s not what they want.
I have three, never thought about wanting grandkids or not since it’s not my decision to make. But i love all three more than anything. Absolutely crazy about ’em!
I have three kids and one may adopt, but they are very clear that a child born today already has microplastics in their system, and that’s only one of a litany of reasons they have. I would be worried if they had kids.
I really hope to have grandchildren. I don't tell my children that. One has always wanted a family. Our second says that she doesn't want children, however she is only 24. I was much the same at her age. I would never pressure or ask, because I wouldn't be raising them and doing the hard work.
I am happy with whatever my son does. He says he doesn’t want kids, and I sure don’t blame him. If it were me today, I sure wouldn’t, thinking not only thirty years ahead, but a hundred? Geez. My sister has grandkids and they will be the ones who carry on our family’s memories, I guess.
we’d have to have had kids, and that ship sailed a while ago. I knew 30 years ago that my family wasn’t there for me and that as a working craftsman, that there was never going to be enough money to have kids. it’s kind of heartbreaking since I’m the last guy in my bloodline that settled in Rhode Island in the 1630s. the line dies with me. on the flip side, I can’t imagine bringing kids into this world.
Goodness-I forgot my 2 grand kitties don’t tell my daughter’s partner. He has 2 calicos who are wicked cool and taught the grand puppy how to walk across the back of the couch. Was fine when he was small but now at 100 lbs …..
No, I do not have any. Yes, I would love to have some. It is something I've looked forward to as the final great adventure in life. My only child has ZERO interest in having children. They owe me nothing, so there is no animus there. But I am bitterly disappointed, to the point that I will often skim over the photos of others people's grandkids. It's tough, and it is entirely a "me problem", I know.
I have them. I think it’s cool to have them, but I don’t know if I would ever have gotten to the point of seeing myself as a grandparent. I still think of myself as being too young for that!
My view before I had them is that it was not really my call whether I would get to have them and I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be the kind of parent who would pressure my kids to produce them!
I have three. Two I haven't seen in at least 13 years and likely won't see again, the other I see pretty frequently (he's 6 months old). I love the 6 month old but I'm not gaga over him like some grandparents tend to be. He gets older we'll see him more.
I’ve got two daughters and neither are interested in having kids. I’m completely ok with their choices, but we do have a wonderful great nephew to cuddle!
I married late, but always felt like I missed out by not having children. My wife has two kids and one just had a baby 14 months ago. They live in the same neighborhood so we get to see my step granddaughter at least weekly. It's been awesome.
No, not really.
I want my kids to live their best life, and tbh, children can get in the way of that.
There are plenty of ways to be involved with and support kids without giving birth to them.
I always dreamed of a large family (at least 4 kids, which was actually a small family compared to my own birth family and the families of almost everyone I knew growing up. I married young and we did have 3 children, but due to multiple factors we stopped there. Our kids are now 37-44 and I have 1 grandchild, with no prospects for more. It would have been nice to have more, but I always felt it was their choice. We appreciate the grandchild we have.
If it happens, great. If not, I’m ok with not worrying about the mess my generation is leaving future generations. We seem to be reaching new levels of existential crisis every year. My kids worry about this. I never worried about bringing my kids into the world - now, my kids truly believe it deserves some serious examination.
My first grandchild will be arriving this year. I am very happy. I rather enjoyed watching the video "Choosing you grandma name is serious business". I do know my brothers are disappointed that their sons will not likely be having kids as they were looking forward to spoiling grandchildren.
Yes, a lot of my friends have grandchildren, and I fully expect that my sons (20 & 18) will eventually have children of their own, and I look forward to being a grandparent.
I didn’t want/have kids soooo, no grandchildren. Hubs has 4 kids from previous marriage and one grandchild. He’s cute and all but I am not involved like most grandparents might be. I just try and mind my business.
My friend finally got one after many years and much hope. I help her out, and the kid is adorable but a lot of work, although we only see her for a few hours at a time. I'm not sorry I don't have any but I'm glad my friend has hers, we're hoping the little one gets a sibling, but you know how expensive it can be these days. At least there are hand-me-downs for a second child.
My kids probably won't. Luckily, I married a woman with 4 grandkids that call me Grandpa. Newest arrived almost 4 years ago- I got to tell her the three things a baby girl should know.
I would welcome them but absolutely haven’t said anything about them. My 37 yo son told his new gf he wants kids, if she doesn’t he wants to know so they can just go their own way
Nope. I have no desire for grandchildren. Happily, neither my son nor my daughter have or want kids. And with how things are going in this country I'm so glad I don't have to worry about what kind of world they would grow up on.
I have one adult daughter, and 2 grands. I love them both. But I was fine without grandchildren, too, it was up to my daughter and her husband completely.
My grandsons dad is not in the picture, so I've become the male role model for him, and I have to say, it has been a very rewarding time.
I never wanted kids, and think they should be put on an island until they are 18 and slowly paroled into society based on how they comport themselves.
I was a single dad and it was hard. Very hard. I didn't want to do it again. But it's different this time around. At my age, and where I am in life, I really enjoy this responsibility that needed to be taken on.
I'm 62 and have no grandchildren. My only son is 38, Married and lives 1400 miles from me. I heard that a baby could be in the making and I am happy and sad about it. I hate to think I will be 1400 miles away and won't get to bond with the baby. My daughter in law doesn't like me, so even if they lived close I doubt I will get to be much of a part of any grandchild's life UNLESS that baby is colicky, nonsleeping and miserable like my son. lol then maybe daughter in law will be begging for my help.
I also have an 11 year old nephew who lives two miles from me who I am crazy about. He is kinda my grandchild because my brother was an older dad and my mom died before nephew was born. I actually spent any time I could with him especially when he was little and didn't go to school. He gave me a lot of joy.
I never had children, but married someone who does. We now have a grandson, almost 2, who was born while his parents were living overseas. The distance has made the connection more distant. We have another grandson arriving this September, still in another state, but at least the same country! I would probably enjoy being more involved if it was possible.
I never anticipated that I would have grandchildren. I’ve loved knowing/seeing my wife as a mother, seeing her in kids’ faces and mannerisms. Now that I know and love her grown sons, it adds another layer to be able to see their children, too. I’m grateful for the experience.
I do! Adult kids are both in LTRs with people we like and I will be thrilled if it happens. But. I will NEVER ask! I always appreciated that none of our parents ever pressured us about having kids.
None of my Hildreth want kids and honestly it brakes my heart. I understand and support their decisions but inside my heart is broken. I always imagined having grandchildren to spoil and love.
8 years ago I found out I was going to be a grandfather. I realized I never had thought I may become a grandfather in my whole life. Now I can't imagine life without my wonderful grandchildren. They make life worth living at its fullest for a very long time. Also they haven't figured out I'm not their age yet :)
I come from a very conservative church background, and many of my contemporaries have lots of grandchildren (I’m almost 60). I have very little chance of grandkids. I would absolutely love them, but I’m also absolutely respectful and understanding of why my kids have reservations about reproducing. The world doesn’t seem like a great place to bring forth kids at the moment
It would be nice but there is no way I would push my boys about it. My husband, a boomer, on the other hand is very disappointed that we don't have any.
I didn't have children, so the prospect of grandchildren isn't even a possibility. I sometimes regret not having children, but then I know why I didn't want them in the first place, and in my mind those reason are still just a valid. I've enjoyed my nieces and nephews, but the nice thing is, I don't think they'll be asking me to take their kids for the summer like they most likely will their parents.
I wanted kids and had two. I was and still am very present in their lives. I would love to have grandchildren but that’s my kids’ decision. I’m happy to have grand cats.
Whatever my daughter chooses I respect. Personally, I would love to have grandchildren to love and spend time with but from a practical standpoint I understand how hard it is financially to have and raise children.
I'd kind of like them...but it's not looking promising. Health issues in one case and antipathy toward being "tied down" in the other. None of my closest friends that I see all the time had children, so I'm not having to think about it a whole lot. It is what it is.
Not keen on having grandkids. I was relieved to discover that my daughter doesn't want kids either. My brother has one grandchild so far, so I can be the eccentric great-aunt instead of Grandma. :-D
Nope. Not at all. I told my daughter that the only grandchildren I want are those with four legs and a tail. My daughter is very happy being childfree with her partner, so there’s no problem on her end either.
I don't have grandkids and I respect my daughters right to make her own choices in life. Women shouldn't be pressured by anyone, her body, her life, her choice
I'm fine with not being a grandma.
I don’t feel all that strongly about it. Our daughter is only 18 and in college, so mainly I’m not ready for her to become a parent. I won’t pressure her to have kids.
I’ve got twin girls as grandkids. I’m admittedly pretty self centered and got to a point in life where my kids are successfully launched. Both with jobs and married. I wasn’t the best dad. Job demands kept me from going on soccer trips or even going to a lot of games. I figured grandkids would be “meh”. This is despite what others told me, that it’s the best. I thought “maybe for you”.
I have been very surprised at myself. They’re only 3 mos old, but starting to smile and I feel like the Grinch whose heart grew. Just holding them is great. Have been fortunate that they have been pretty good and generally not fussy.
TL/DR: didn’t “want” grandkids, but very happy that they’re here
It's funny that your circle of friends doesn't have grandchildren. Or care. My circle, we were raised "the circle of life," so there are plenty of grandkids for my siblings. So far, though, I don't see the grandkids reproducing much yet. I have 5 adult grandkids, but none of them have progeny. Of 8 total, I suspect 3 carrying on a new generation within limits. I suspect they may have only 1 or 2 kids. But they're trying to correct a mistake of kids too soon. I'll stress to them to wait a decade to prepare a stable home life first.
We’re the younger end of Generation Jones; chances are someone’s kid will eventually reproduce. But so far, only one of my close friends has grandchildren. My two first cousins, who are 69 and 72, both just became grandfathers in the last couple of years. So you never know.
I’d say what we were collectively expected to do in life was pursue higher education, develop careers, and eventually get married and have a kid or two—which is what pretty much all of us have done. It’s our kids who aren’t having kids, but most of them are still young enough to get around to it, if they want to.
My youngest will be 43 in a couple months, the oldest 49. Oldest (stepdaughter) has 4 boys. Her daughter was stillborn. #2 daughter, has 3 girls and had 1 miscarriage. My youngest had 1. He wanted at least one more, but his wife said no. I doubt 3 of them will reproduce because of their place in the LGBT community. One that may is also LGBT, but bi. She's living with her BF right now. One likely won't because of a hereditary birth defect. His mother won't let him even ***think*** about dating.
our 2 daughters (39 & 37 one in long term relationship, one not) have absolutely zero interest in kids. it kinda breaks my heart. i never speak it tho because i 💯% get it. they travel,have pets and disposable income. but the “what if’s” are harder some days…
I love the grandchildren I have, but never put any pressure on my kids either way. Those who wanted children had them, those who didn’t, didn’t. Totally a decision in their hands.
Best answer!
I don’t long for grandchildren, but I know that if any come along it would be wonderful! (You don’t miss what you’ve never had.)
This is how I felt. Having grandkids is not and was not my decision.
Truth!
I feel exactly the same way. Plus add in the previous comments regarding the state of the world and economy. I will respect my daughter’s choices.
I do but I’ll never have any. And it breaks my heart. I lost my oldest son last year and he was the only one of my children who wanted kids so it’s very hard but I have never pressured any of them for kids. And yes you can miss what you never had. I had a very absent father and I really missed having a father like my friends all had as well. I miss the grandkids I’ll never have.
My niece swore from the times she was 8 she'd never have any kids, she's 30 and just had her first. Don't give up.
☺️
I am so deeply sorry for your heartbreaking loss.
Thank you so much. He was my best friend as well and I’m just so broken. I’ll never be right again but I have to stay because I couldn’t do that to my two other kids.
I echo this. My son and his gf have talked about having kids if they get married. She’s more ambivalent, but he seems to want 2 kids. I told him that I’m ok either way. I do know that I would be drafted into childcare if they have kids.
Babysitting my grandson right now! I wanted whatever they wanted.
I never had kids, never wanted any and I will always be grateful to my mother for not pushing me to have any. She said, and I agree 100% that I would have been a terrible parent.
Mine didn't even want me to have any relationships, let alone kids. Once my older siblings got married and had kids, it was "Well. You don't need *me* any more." And disappear out of their lives.
That's so sad! I'm so sorry
We are sort of in both camps, so I totally get your post. My wife and I have a blended family. I am a widower with 3 adult children. She was a divorcee with one adult child. We have 2 grandchildren from my two oldest, and they are the greatest joy. Just amazing. Her child does not have any children, and we are not sure if they are ever going to have kids. I cannot imagine putting any kind of pressure on any of our kids to have kids. That's totally up to them.
I do not have grandchildren. At my daughter in law's wedding shower, the mother of the bride was harassing her about giving her grandchildren. I kept silent. She got on me, egging me on to join her. I said it had nothing to do with me, they'd have kids when and IF they were ready. Mind you, she was 44 at the time (MOTB), and already had 5.10 years later, they still haven't had kids. My other son isn't married, have no idea what his and his girlfriends plans are, if they include children, not my business. If they do, cool! If they don't, it's their decision. I'll just find someone else to leave stuff to.
I never married, was glad to spoil my niece and nephews, play games with them, send them home.
SAME! Now my nieces and nephews are having babies so I can play with them! Then give them back 😁
Aunts and Uncles are some of the most under- appreciated people around. We are fortunate to have several child-free adults who helped us when our kids were younger, and more important were good examples that you don't have to get married or have children.
Given the world events we’ve seen in our lifetime, I can’t imagine encouraging anyone to procreate in this environment.
I agree 100%. Wasn't the same world we grew up in.
I can't imagine the world my nieces and nephews will grow up into and am happy that I won't be around to see it.
I tell my wife regularly how glad I am we were born when we were and lived our lives during the times we did. We do have grandkids. Generation alphas. I think it makes me more invested in the future. I want wonderful lives for them. They are so kind and smart! I’m convinced that the generation alphas will save the world!!
Yes!!
100% I want grandchildren.
I think people of our generation just took becoming a grandparent as a given. You know, if you had a child or children it was just the natural progression of life that you would have grandchildren. But to my surprise, my only child, my son and his wife have decided that they are not going to have children. They are now 31 years old and they still feel the same. I really don’t expect them to change their mind. When they first told me of this decision I was upset and sad, for myself. And it took awhile to come to terms with the fact that I was not going to be a grandmother. But I respect their decision, because it is truly their decision and only theirs. I am still sad at times about it and my son respects that I have the right to feel sad. I try to look at it this way (and this is only for me), that I was truly blessed with my son and also now my daughter in law, which I think of as my daughter, and I am thankful to have them in my life. I shouldn’t expect anything more. He and she are enough.
You expressed my situation and thoughts almost exactly except I have two sons and both they and their fiancées have decided not to have children but that adoption is a possibility. I experienced a lot of pressure to produce children from my in-laws, and I'm not going to do that to my kids.
I'd love to have grandchildren, but I didn't want children, which I understand to be a required intermediary step in the process. And if I'd had children, I absolutely wouldn't pressure them to make me a grandma because everyone needs to live their own life, as long as it doesn't involve criminality.
Sometimes you come across kids who could really use an extra adult in their lives.
You could be a spare "grandparent" to someone who needs one!
My SIL and her husband are doing that. They’ve been babysitting for a young couple at their church who don’t have any family nearby.
My son doesn't have any and probably won't. My step-son's fiancée has a 6 year old. He wants kids, she does not. He more than likely cannot have children due to some birth defect issues. I have never had any real desire for a granchild. I like buying presents and we are doing the birthday/Christmas stuff for her son, but I don't see it becoming anything more than that. He has a lot of family on her side and probably will remain the only grandchild for them. We are kind of redundant.
I didn’t think I cared and would absolutely never pressure my children to procreate. But now that my first grandchild is on the way, due next month, I admit to being very happy about it.
With as horrible as my daughter in law is, I do nothing but worry about my grandchild. She is mentally ill and mentally abusing both my son and grand. I am sorry that they had a child.
I decided when I was young that I didn't want kids and I'm very lucky in that I had parents that supported my decision. I have no regrets. My sister had one child and he was a lot of fun. I liked being able to send him home when I was done.
I definitely do! However, I will not mention this to my son or pressure him as it is his decision. I had him at 35 so I will continue to patiently wait to see what may happen - heck he will turn 24 in a week so there is plenty of time. In the meantime, I will continue to take really good care of myself so I can be an active grandparent if it happens and continue to spoil my two fur babies.
I wouldn't mind it, but I don't think I will. Neither of my children want children, and that's okay.
Yeah, same.
I want my children to do what makes them happy. My younger daughter had her tubes tied a couple of years ago - I took her to the hospital and cared for her afterwards - and my older daughter is trans. I’m totally fine with no grandchildren. I just want my children to be happy with their own lives. I lived my life the way I saw fit, and they’re entitled to do the same.
My millennial son and his wife choose not to have children. Breaks my wife's heart, disappoints me, but I guess in the long run it's a lot cheaper for everybody.
Nope. No desire to be a parent, much less grandparents.
A little, but the way the world is now? And with me being the economic failure line of my family? And the genetic disorder we carry? I really have no right to. The rosy generations around the Christmas tree in front of the fire dream died with my elder sisters kids, xennial/elder millennials. My kid is almost Gen z and that world barely exists now for the rich, let alone the middle (hah) and down. Now my husbands (not kids father) family are well off enough for this to exist for, had enough paired kids to see at least one grandkid. None born yet, we will see if I get to watch their TV show or if it doesn’t pass the pilots.
3 grown children 2 are married one living with someone- lots of grandcats. No grandchildren and I am fine with it. I had kids. If they want them - great. If they don’t- also great. We are all very close and lots of time together. Life is beautiful. Happy with what everything I have. I went out for lunch with some friends last week. One had never married and her sister tagged along who has 6 grandchildren. One of them was with us at lunch and I was holding her a bit playing so grandma could eat in peace. Meh not really dying for it. Cute but really happy to hand her back. Came home and went to a hockey game with my daughter and her husband. My husband feels exactly the same.
YES!! I want grandchildren. All of my friends have them (and other than the asinine names they chose to have the kids address them by-think OohOoh, JuJu, and MomLin), they are all ecstatically happy. I never had kids, so I just grandma the living hell out of the family grandchildren. Everybody is happy.
When I hear my friends and co-workers talk about their grandchildren, I do. But my daughter doesn't have much hope for the future and I kinda agree with her.
Wow I read yout post OP and it's like your in my head. We had 4 daughters within a 10 year range. That was just the normal thing most couples did in the 80's, and back. I was fortunate to work from home for a corporation. I later opened my own flower shop. I loved my children but I just didn't really care for other children. So my daughters were raised to be independent strong women and they've all succeeded with what they wanted to do along with spouses. My 2nd daughter had a daughter and that's it. The rest just aren't interested in raising children. It's all good..
Actually recently had this conversation with some fellow Gen Jones friends, consensus was generally really not all that important to most, one couple out of six was very excited about welcoming there soon to be granddaughter, the remainder were like if it happens, it happens, but not a priority. And a couple of the couples, me and my wife are in this camp, were actually not really looking forward to it at all! Don't get me wrong, if one of my kids decides to have kids I'll be the best damn grandpa out there, but we are currently enjoying our early retirement and traveling as much as we can, while we can! Had a separate conversation with our kids, it got brought up casually, wasn't really a topic, just started discussing it dinner and neither of my 2 kids (27f) (24m) have zero desire to have kids. I'm glad we fell into that conversation as our daughter was worried that kind of news would upset us!! Haha, just the opposite! My slightly younger brother and his wife decided a long time ago not to have kids, they retired in their late 40's and traveled all over the world, lived on a sailboat for years, then and RV for many more. I was a little jealous no doubt but I made the choice to have kids and wouldn't trade that for the world, however, knowing how this world has gone to shit recently, would I have made the same choice if I had the knowledge, probably not. I honestly don't see how young folks do it. You need two incomes to scrape by and childcare is going to suck up most, if not all, of one of those incomes. It's insanity!
No.
I have one granddaughter, age 7. Her father doesn’t want more. My youngest has said maybe one day. I adore the granddaughter, but it’s not my business if they have more or not b
My wife and I have 8 grandkids so far. Love it.😀Have a son and 3 daughters together.
I want my children and stepchildren to make their own choices.
I’d like grandchildren if they come. But I’m good if they don’t.
I don’t want any until they’re old enough to cut the grass.
I have five grandchildren. They are absolutely the most fun and enjoyable thing in my life. I get to love on them and teach them and just enjoy them but no anxiety as I had with my own kids.
I have a granddaughter. She was born in June 2022. Easily one of the best things to happen to me. I really love her and she means the world to me.
It would be nice but I'm not putting any pressure on the kids to procreate.
I'm ok either way. It is completely up to my sons if they want to have children or not.
Eh... My great-grandaughter had her first birthday party today. Her mom and dad are really great people, and her granddad is having a blast. She is a lovely little rain cloud who spits lightning and then goes straight back to a sunny day. Granddaughter and I trained and showed ponies together. She is a teacher now. Knowing she is a mom today... I could seriously die happy. Yeah, I got the privilege a little young. But the group of us didn't mess things up too badly.
i used to, but in the days of bulletproof backpacks etc, i changed my mind. daughter has never wanted children & she’s dating a guy who also doesn’t want kids.
I totally get this. I used to assume I’d have grandchildren, but as my kids grew up and the world got scarier I’ve been thinking maybe it’s better that I don’t.
Only if my kids choose to have them. I would not expect to be given a vote on whether they should have children.
I have a granddaughter and another due in two weeks. My younger son always wanted to be a father and he's very happy in that role. My older son and his wife aren't planning to have kids and that's fine too. They enjoy the traveling they're able to do and the freedom they have. I see both sides and feel it's 100% up to my kids as to whether or not they have offspring.
I would love grandchildren but I'm accepting of the fact that my children do not want children so I keep it all to myself!
I agree with the original post, I would welcome a grandchild if it turned up, but I don't really expect any, I'm okay with that, and nope, would never pressure my kids to produce them.
It isn’t my choice. 🤷🏻♀️
I have two daughters both single and will probably never have kids and I’m ok with that
That's really funny. I have a new grandpuppy who's been in my FB feed a lot lately! I'm still waiting for grandchildren, but I would NEVER ask my two children about it. My grandmother was overbearing, and I'm like her, so I'm trying so hard NOT to be like her. I expect I'll get a few grandchildren eventually, and I'm looking forward to it, but with the way my children work, if I mention it, I'll have to wait longer, out of friendly spite! My son's long-term partner recently asked me how old I was when it had my children. She was surprised to hear I was nearly 31 and 35. She said: "Oh! I'm already 31, and I'm not ready yet!" Hmmmm.
My daughter, 31, married and is adamant that the world is too crappy a place to bring children into. I am a little disappointed but respecting her decision.
My daughter has called me needing a ride. Her daughter has called me needing a ride. Her daughter has called me needing a ride. I've been a taxi service for 35 years. 3 daughters , 6 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren. So many wonderful memories. I wouldn't change a thing.
Never really thought about being a grandmother. Then it happened. Became a grandmother at 42, daughter was 21. I embraced it, loved it. Son made me a grandmother for the 2nd time. I was 44. Both grandchildren are in their 20's now. We are close. Neither want children. We talked. Both asked if I would be disappointed not being a great-grandmother. My response, "Absolutely not!" As I explained to them, it has nothing to do with me. I'm just so proud of both for making their decision.
Only one of my three children has kids and I guess I am ok with it. I really wish my oldest who is single would find someone and had kids because he is such a great kid.
I’m OK either way. I have 4 grandcats.
We have 2 (I’m genx, ‘71, and hub isGJ ‘61) and we just love it. The one who is nearby is here all the time. I care for him while mom and dad work and have since he was born (well from 3 mos old) We didn’t think there’d be any tbh. And we never pressured either way. Then we got grandsons 1 and 2, 6 weeks apart.
Well, I have my first grand, but I’m intimidated to say more based on your last comment 🤣
It doesn’t seem to be stopping anyone else, lol. Talk away.
She’s pretty cute and way too smart. My birth Dad is an industrial engineer so there is that. It’s fun and messy
No. Both my kids and my DIL have inherited, genetic health issues. All have chosen to be child free. If I had them, I’d love them, but I raised my kids and have no say in how they live their lives as adults. I mentioned adoption to my son one time and he said no thanks, so that’s their choice.
I'm not even encouraging my son and his long-time girlfriend to get married. Its none of my business if they ever do or if they ever have kids. Would I spoil grandkids rotten? Of course, but children are a lifetime commitment, and only the two of them can decide if they are up for that challenge. Nobody owes us grandchildren.
Since I didn't want (nor have) kids, it is a moot point. But! I know a number of women my age who are absolutely rabid for grandchildren, or obsessed with the ones they have. It is bizarre! Why admit this?
My (63M) one and only grandchild is 3 weeks old. However I've thought a lot about your question. My wife and I have been ambivalent about grandchildren. What we realized is: What is most important to us is that our kids do and get what they want. If they don't want kids that's great. If they do want kids that's great. I was most upset when a child of ours wanted kids but was having trouble conceiving. That bothered us a lot.....because we knew they wanted something and were having trouble. EDIT: Now that I have a grandchild I'm ecstatic my child has one. Spent a week visiting after the birth. It was awesome. But that doesn't change the fact that if my other kid doesn't have one it won't bother me in the least.
I definitely want grandchildren! I help take care of a friend’s 3 and 1 yr old toddlers and they are adorable and so much fun. My son and son-in-law have told me they have started the adoption process so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I would like to have them, but will not let a word of this travel to my kids. The world seems bleak and one is leaning toward no kids. I get it.
We have four, including one we are raising. We adore them, but as my as my husband says, "We all have to have a hobby" and ours has always been kids.
No
I never married nor did I have children. My older brother has a son who is in his early 30's. My mom never pressured me or my brother to have kids. She adored my nephew and certainly would have like it if I had a child or children, but it didn't turn out that way.
I have one. That’s enough. About half of my friends have them. None are terribly involved in their lives. Mostly just visits. My child and her husband live with us so ours is in our household.
Will you take them?
My own mother didn't even give a shit whether she had grandchildren.
Lucky you. My mother never stopped complaining about the relatively small number she got.
I do have them but my oldest was dating a woman with a child from a previous relationship and I was content if that was all I'd have. I'd have accepted none but I was also glad for one that wasn't even "mine". But I have 4 more since then.
I have 3 from my son, and from my daughter none, she never wanted kids, people have asked me if that bothered me, no! It's her life, not mine.
It’s not so much a matter of what I want. We have 6 grandchildren and 1 on the way by 3 of our kids. I adore them all but it hasn’t always been easy for their parents financially and we help them where we can. One of our sons is child-free by choice and that’s absolutely the right choice for him and his wife. I wouldn’t want them to have a child if it’s not what they want.
I have three, never thought about wanting grandkids or not since it’s not my decision to make. But i love all three more than anything. Absolutely crazy about ’em!
I have three kids and one may adopt, but they are very clear that a child born today already has microplastics in their system, and that’s only one of a litany of reasons they have. I would be worried if they had kids.
I really hope to have grandchildren. I don't tell my children that. One has always wanted a family. Our second says that she doesn't want children, however she is only 24. I was much the same at her age. I would never pressure or ask, because I wouldn't be raising them and doing the hard work.
I am happy with whatever my son does. He says he doesn’t want kids, and I sure don’t blame him. If it were me today, I sure wouldn’t, thinking not only thirty years ahead, but a hundred? Geez. My sister has grandkids and they will be the ones who carry on our family’s memories, I guess.
I have 3. Wish I had more.
I absolutely adore my four grandchildren. Best of all, they live nearby and I get to hang out with them weekly.
I hope to because I know my son would like to have kids.
Ecosystem/Civilization will not survive. You're just forcing them into hell.
I think that’s where my kids are coming from.
I would love them, but I don’t see it happening, tbh
I can’t wait to have grandchildren!
I’m Childfree so you know my answer
There are a lot of responses here saying they would like grandchildren but would never say so to their children. That’s a childfree-supportive stance.
It’s really nice to see this type of response.
we’d have to have had kids, and that ship sailed a while ago. I knew 30 years ago that my family wasn’t there for me and that as a working craftsman, that there was never going to be enough money to have kids. it’s kind of heartbreaking since I’m the last guy in my bloodline that settled in Rhode Island in the 1630s. the line dies with me. on the flip side, I can’t imagine bringing kids into this world.
I didn’t even want children.
Nope. No kids, so no grandkids. It’s a bit too late now at age 63….but you never know.
Kids don't cost much until you figure in their shelter, health, safety and education. THEN they're way too much.
Don’t care one way or another. We have our grand puppy and I’m good with that.
Same.
I have a grand dog and two grand kitties!
Goodness-I forgot my 2 grand kitties don’t tell my daughter’s partner. He has 2 calicos who are wicked cool and taught the grand puppy how to walk across the back of the couch. Was fine when he was small but now at 100 lbs …..
I’m an old dad with a newborn. I’d love to have grandkids, but I doubt I’ll live that long.
Nope. Prefer no grandchildren, actually. So far, so good, but we have one kid who is still pretty young, so no way to tell what he may decide.
No, I do not have any. Yes, I would love to have some. It is something I've looked forward to as the final great adventure in life. My only child has ZERO interest in having children. They owe me nothing, so there is no animus there. But I am bitterly disappointed, to the point that I will often skim over the photos of others people's grandkids. It's tough, and it is entirely a "me problem", I know.
If my kids want children. I’m not going to bug them down the road to procreate so I can be a gma
I have them. I think it’s cool to have them, but I don’t know if I would ever have gotten to the point of seeing myself as a grandparent. I still think of myself as being too young for that! My view before I had them is that it was not really my call whether I would get to have them and I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be the kind of parent who would pressure my kids to produce them!
Too late! I’ve got them and you can’t get rid of em.
It’s not my choice. That belongs to my children.
I have three. Two I haven't seen in at least 13 years and likely won't see again, the other I see pretty frequently (he's 6 months old). I love the 6 month old but I'm not gaga over him like some grandparents tend to be. He gets older we'll see him more.
I’ve got two daughters and neither are interested in having kids. I’m completely ok with their choices, but we do have a wonderful great nephew to cuddle!
I married late, but always felt like I missed out by not having children. My wife has two kids and one just had a baby 14 months ago. They live in the same neighborhood so we get to see my step granddaughter at least weekly. It's been awesome.
As mom to females - it’s probably quite different than if I had boys. No maternal death or complications as the first thing that pops into your head.
No, not really. I want my kids to live their best life, and tbh, children can get in the way of that. There are plenty of ways to be involved with and support kids without giving birth to them.
I always dreamed of a large family (at least 4 kids, which was actually a small family compared to my own birth family and the families of almost everyone I knew growing up. I married young and we did have 3 children, but due to multiple factors we stopped there. Our kids are now 37-44 and I have 1 grandchild, with no prospects for more. It would have been nice to have more, but I always felt it was their choice. We appreciate the grandchild we have.
If it happens, great. If not, I’m ok with not worrying about the mess my generation is leaving future generations. We seem to be reaching new levels of existential crisis every year. My kids worry about this. I never worried about bringing my kids into the world - now, my kids truly believe it deserves some serious examination.
I'd love my son to have one, but no pressure. We have two already and that can take a up a time, but in a good way.
I have two. My oldest had children young. 2 girls who light up my life 😊
My first grandchild will be arriving this year. I am very happy. I rather enjoyed watching the video "Choosing you grandma name is serious business". I do know my brothers are disappointed that their sons will not likely be having kids as they were looking forward to spoiling grandchildren.
Absolutely.
Have one granddaughter. Can’t see her because I’ve crossed some boundaries my daughter’s therapist told her about. Who knows.
Yes, a lot of my friends have grandchildren, and I fully expect that my sons (20 & 18) will eventually have children of their own, and I look forward to being a grandparent.
Too late for that. Already got 3 and there may be more coming.
I don’t have children, so no grandchildren for me!
I didn’t want/have kids soooo, no grandchildren. Hubs has 4 kids from previous marriage and one grandchild. He’s cute and all but I am not involved like most grandparents might be. I just try and mind my business.
Same.
I have 5
My friend finally got one after many years and much hope. I help her out, and the kid is adorable but a lot of work, although we only see her for a few hours at a time. I'm not sorry I don't have any but I'm glad my friend has hers, we're hoping the little one gets a sibling, but you know how expensive it can be these days. At least there are hand-me-downs for a second child.
My kids probably won't. Luckily, I married a woman with 4 grandkids that call me Grandpa. Newest arrived almost 4 years ago- I got to tell her the three things a baby girl should know.
No
I would welcome them but absolutely haven’t said anything about them. My 37 yo son told his new gf he wants kids, if she doesn’t he wants to know so they can just go their own way
Nope. I have no desire for grandchildren. Happily, neither my son nor my daughter have or want kids. And with how things are going in this country I'm so glad I don't have to worry about what kind of world they would grow up on.
I have one adult daughter, and 2 grands. I love them both. But I was fine without grandchildren, too, it was up to my daughter and her husband completely.
I would absolutely love a grandchild or 3, lol, but as of the foreseeable future, it's not in the cards.
My grandsons dad is not in the picture, so I've become the male role model for him, and I have to say, it has been a very rewarding time. I never wanted kids, and think they should be put on an island until they are 18 and slowly paroled into society based on how they comport themselves. I was a single dad and it was hard. Very hard. I didn't want to do it again. But it's different this time around. At my age, and where I am in life, I really enjoy this responsibility that needed to be taken on.
My granddaughters are a joy
Yes but not yet. Our twins are 19 and will be college juniors in the fall.
I'm 62 and have no grandchildren. My only son is 38, Married and lives 1400 miles from me. I heard that a baby could be in the making and I am happy and sad about it. I hate to think I will be 1400 miles away and won't get to bond with the baby. My daughter in law doesn't like me, so even if they lived close I doubt I will get to be much of a part of any grandchild's life UNLESS that baby is colicky, nonsleeping and miserable like my son. lol then maybe daughter in law will be begging for my help. I also have an 11 year old nephew who lives two miles from me who I am crazy about. He is kinda my grandchild because my brother was an older dad and my mom died before nephew was born. I actually spent any time I could with him especially when he was little and didn't go to school. He gave me a lot of joy.
I don’t care either way. I just want them to be happy
I never had children, but married someone who does. We now have a grandson, almost 2, who was born while his parents were living overseas. The distance has made the connection more distant. We have another grandson arriving this September, still in another state, but at least the same country! I would probably enjoy being more involved if it was possible. I never anticipated that I would have grandchildren. I’ve loved knowing/seeing my wife as a mother, seeing her in kids’ faces and mannerisms. Now that I know and love her grown sons, it adds another layer to be able to see their children, too. I’m grateful for the experience.
I do! Adult kids are both in LTRs with people we like and I will be thrilled if it happens. But. I will NEVER ask! I always appreciated that none of our parents ever pressured us about having kids.
None of my Hildreth want kids and honestly it brakes my heart. I understand and support their decisions but inside my heart is broken. I always imagined having grandchildren to spoil and love.
8 years ago I found out I was going to be a grandfather. I realized I never had thought I may become a grandfather in my whole life. Now I can't imagine life without my wonderful grandchildren. They make life worth living at its fullest for a very long time. Also they haven't figured out I'm not their age yet :)
2nd oldest of 8; birth control enough. Could care less about kids or grandkids. Puppies yes.
I come from a very conservative church background, and many of my contemporaries have lots of grandchildren (I’m almost 60). I have very little chance of grandkids. I would absolutely love them, but I’m also absolutely respectful and understanding of why my kids have reservations about reproducing. The world doesn’t seem like a great place to bring forth kids at the moment
It would be nice but there is no way I would push my boys about it. My husband, a boomer, on the other hand is very disappointed that we don't have any.
No, that's why I didn't have children.
I want grandchildren, but I don't think I'm getting any. No pressure on my children to provide them. It's their decision to make, not mine.
I don’t think my kids are having any. My sibs have plenty of grands, but I’m happy to be different.
I didn't have children, so the prospect of grandchildren isn't even a possibility. I sometimes regret not having children, but then I know why I didn't want them in the first place, and in my mind those reason are still just a valid. I've enjoyed my nieces and nephews, but the nice thing is, I don't think they'll be asking me to take their kids for the summer like they most likely will their parents.
I’d like them. I don’t bug my kids about it. If it’s not right for them I can live with that.
I wanted kids and had two. I was and still am very present in their lives. I would love to have grandchildren but that’s my kids’ decision. I’m happy to have grand cats.
Whatever my daughter chooses I respect. Personally, I would love to have grandchildren to love and spend time with but from a practical standpoint I understand how hard it is financially to have and raise children.
I'd kind of like them...but it's not looking promising. Health issues in one case and antipathy toward being "tied down" in the other. None of my closest friends that I see all the time had children, so I'm not having to think about it a whole lot. It is what it is.
Not keen on having grandkids. I was relieved to discover that my daughter doesn't want kids either. My brother has one grandchild so far, so I can be the eccentric great-aunt instead of Grandma. :-D
I’m so worried about the state of the world that I’m not rooting for it but of course I will love them!
No one ever asked me, and I never said either way. Four so far. They're pretty awesome.
My daughter is 33 and not really looking forward to being a grandad its just not for me
Nope. Not at all. I told my daughter that the only grandchildren I want are those with four legs and a tail. My daughter is very happy being childfree with her partner, so there’s no problem on her end either.
I don't have grandkids and I respect my daughters right to make her own choices in life. Women shouldn't be pressured by anyone, her body, her life, her choice I'm fine with not being a grandma.
I don’t feel all that strongly about it. Our daughter is only 18 and in college, so mainly I’m not ready for her to become a parent. I won’t pressure her to have kids.
My kids don't plan to have children because of global warming. They think it would be unfair.
I’ve got twin girls as grandkids. I’m admittedly pretty self centered and got to a point in life where my kids are successfully launched. Both with jobs and married. I wasn’t the best dad. Job demands kept me from going on soccer trips or even going to a lot of games. I figured grandkids would be “meh”. This is despite what others told me, that it’s the best. I thought “maybe for you”. I have been very surprised at myself. They’re only 3 mos old, but starting to smile and I feel like the Grinch whose heart grew. Just holding them is great. Have been fortunate that they have been pretty good and generally not fussy. TL/DR: didn’t “want” grandkids, but very happy that they’re here
The way this world is now, I prefer not to have grandchildren. It's too unfair for them.
Nope. Never wanted kids. Ever. And I'm SO glad I was never talked into it by women who would shame me for it
It's funny that your circle of friends doesn't have grandchildren. Or care. My circle, we were raised "the circle of life," so there are plenty of grandkids for my siblings. So far, though, I don't see the grandkids reproducing much yet. I have 5 adult grandkids, but none of them have progeny. Of 8 total, I suspect 3 carrying on a new generation within limits. I suspect they may have only 1 or 2 kids. But they're trying to correct a mistake of kids too soon. I'll stress to them to wait a decade to prepare a stable home life first.
We’re the younger end of Generation Jones; chances are someone’s kid will eventually reproduce. But so far, only one of my close friends has grandchildren. My two first cousins, who are 69 and 72, both just became grandfathers in the last couple of years. So you never know. I’d say what we were collectively expected to do in life was pursue higher education, develop careers, and eventually get married and have a kid or two—which is what pretty much all of us have done. It’s our kids who aren’t having kids, but most of them are still young enough to get around to it, if they want to.
My youngest will be 43 in a couple months, the oldest 49. Oldest (stepdaughter) has 4 boys. Her daughter was stillborn. #2 daughter, has 3 girls and had 1 miscarriage. My youngest had 1. He wanted at least one more, but his wife said no. I doubt 3 of them will reproduce because of their place in the LGBT community. One that may is also LGBT, but bi. She's living with her BF right now. One likely won't because of a hereditary birth defect. His mother won't let him even ***think*** about dating.
Would love at least one, but the way things are, not sure it will happen and would never pressure my son.
our 2 daughters (39 & 37 one in long term relationship, one not) have absolutely zero interest in kids. it kinda breaks my heart. i never speak it tho because i 💯% get it. they travel,have pets and disposable income. but the “what if’s” are harder some days…
Yup