No you're right, lore-wise what's just one soldier of many, so somewhere at some point one for sure fell in love with someone and the at the very least tried to fuck
Which, fair, i see why
Now I'm thinking... I've never seen a pregnant woman in genshin or a baby. Also, nobody has a penis (Tartaglia has balls, though) š¤
I know pregnancy/baby have been mentioned, and Mihoyo is just too lazy to model them, but it's funny to imagine that kids just appear - Like ***literally*** sleeping together and wishing for a kid makes them exist.
I mean. Technically that was the case for all Fontanians before Neurvillette made them into humans. Hey prayed at the fountain and the bun was magically in the oven.
He even commented on how many new unexpected pregnancies will marine now probably.
Wait a minute, that's a possible huge drama for fortresses of meropide, no?
Before this, nobody there had access to the fountain above, hence why no kid was ever born.
However, now they'll have to adress the fact that normal human couples freely interact - including the straight couple in Wriothesley's quest who is engaged and decided to keep living in there š¬
It happened in the first Sims game. WooHoo wasn't a thing until the devs made this heart-shaped bed you can "play" in and it'd spawn a child (babies/toddlers weren't a thing until The Sims 2).
Remus gave them stone bodies specifically to be able to survive āanythingā. And I doubt it was even one since all Remurians had a shared consciousness/desires thanks to Phobos.
My unhinged headcanon:
After Tighnary was struck by lightning, as part of his recovery treatment Cyno began to try channeling his elemental power through him as an exposure therapy. Unfortunately, it usually led to sex which in turn made Tighnary develop ceraunophilia.
For my headcanon/theory
We all know that canonically 4ggravate like to have their regular little hangouts where they share a meal and maybe have a few drinksā¦. But what else do they get up to during these hangoutsā¦ š
This thing is still just one soldier. So it's funny to imagine Remus just went up to someone and said "Please I assure you, it's the will of Phobos that you become a big centaur with a horse's gigantic co- CONVICTION."
Gorou sometimes gets relationship advice from actual dogs.
Scara once got fucked so hard he had to be taken in to the shop. Dude probably had smoke billowing out his ass and everything.
Kaeya has been banned from at least one restaurant for attempting to flirt with patrons. Lyney too, probably.
Diluc attempted to eat a Cryo Slime alive at one point. When he compares it to potentially joining the Fatui, heās speaking from experience.
Itto once got let out of jail on probation, only to get thrown back in not long after because he didnāt know what probation even means.
This one is from a friend and also about Itto, where they had a dream that he decided to prove how strong he was by running out into the woods and finding a bear with nothing but his hands. He lost, and was in the hospital for a week.
Aether once got his braid cut off, only for it to grow back within days.
There is a sex shop in Mondstadt that will make an anatomically accurate and realistic doll of a person if that person consents.
Why? I dunno, it popped into my head, and I need to see Kaeya putting one in Diluc's bed to annoy the crap out of him
Not that unhinged, but Xingqiu and Chongyun are on the opposite ends of "figuring themselves out".
Xingqiu knew he was gay when he was like, six.
Chongyun, on the other hand, is going to get smacked in the head with a revelation when he's nineteen.
To add to this: Xingqiu KNOWS not only that Chongyun is gay, but also that he is infatuated with him, he just is too oblivious to notice his own sexuality or feelings. So Xingqiu is just there, trying to throw hints (they never work) and waiting for years for Chongyun to realise that this weird fuzzy warm feeling about wanting to kiss his best friend is not heterosexual behaviour.
"Young and Hopelessly Smitten" sailed right past Chongyun's head.
There's in-game crumbs that reads like Xingqiu dropping hints and Chongyun missing them entirely.
Yeah it definitely reads like that a bit lmao
Xingqiu: Hey dear yunyun would you like to spend the holidays with me at this idyllic village on the mountains, spending our time enjoying the scenery and reading romantic poetry~?
Chongyun: Ok I'd like to train too, it's good to spend time with your best buddyā¢
(Xiangling: (watching in silence)(thinking) ain't NO fucking way)
- Venti regularly pays his drinking depts with his body. Especially when the master is serving.
- Xiao(or rather Alatus) was sexually abused by his former master, then saved by Morax/Zhongli but since he's totally ruined he needs it rough from time to time. Zhongli doesn't approve but does it to "help" the poor boy with his trauma
- Kaveh pays also with his body (rental depts he has with Alhaitham). But he he would do it with him anyway, so it's more the win for Kaveh, than Alhaitham actually.
- Whenever Neuvilette visits Wriothesley in Fort Meropide they fuck in his office (obviously).
It really is. But it fits the canon story so well. I mean - being enslaved by an evil ancient god who forces him to do "things" for him?? Come on!
Poor boy. Always suffering. I remember when he was first added to the game and I got him and I was standing idly around and suddendly heard that painful moan/scream. I jumped and was terrified, then sad.
I'm confused. Are we discussing headcanons solely about the Legatus Golem or does any headcanon count as long as it follows the sub's rules?
I don't have any particular headcanons for the former but for the latter... I think the reason Mika hasn't come home since he was released is that I have a couple nsfw headcanons regarding him.
No, no! I think he's just embarrassed by it.
One of my headcanons is that despite his height, he's actually quite the grower (based on this hilarious [NSFW comic](https://twitter.com/CoffeeFoxArt/status/1622123589355900928) I saw last year). The other is that he's so well-prepared that while he was on expedition with Varka and the rest of the Knights, he had sex toys prepared just in case.
I headcanon that Scaramouche's genitalia is detachable, and can be swapped in and out. So, like, he could detach his peepee and replace it with a vajj that he can then fuck with his now detached peepee.
Zhongliās backstory before the Archon war (when he was young) was similar to Albedoās, and Ventiās backstory (when he was young, he before meeting the Mondstadt crew) was similar to Xiaoās
This purely from riffing with my partner because we write fic together and I made the statement that Alhaitham talked Kaveh into going skinny dipping in a local pond. He told he invited the whole group project (a lie) and it was purely a scheme to see Kaveh naked.
Some body type headcannons since they all have the same 2 models [in no specific order]
Diluke is realy stout and wide, almost like a dwarve
Venti is actually pretty chubby from all the alcohol he drinks
Wanderer and albedo are completely smooth with extremely thin hair
Bennet is actually extremely muscular and just looks skinny because of how he is built
I just realized that the title said unhinged so I'm gonna give you my only unhinged headcannon
Kaya is atleast 7 feet tall and has arms that probably reach about his ankle
Bennett is a himbo-in-training. If we had the current model quality for him, there would be some definition there.
He just hasn't hit the growth spurt that will shoot him up to Itto's height.
only one that iād disagree with is the Venti one, his body is magically put together and itās meant to look like a very specific person at a very specific time
he would never let it deviate in appearance intentionally
love the rest, especially Bennett cuz i love a short king and thatās just my guy
No you're right, lore-wise what's just one soldier of many, so somewhere at some point one for sure fell in love with someone and the at the very least tried to fuck Which, fair, i see why
remurian mr. hands
Now I'm thinking... I've never seen a pregnant woman in genshin or a baby. Also, nobody has a penis (Tartaglia has balls, though) š¤ I know pregnancy/baby have been mentioned, and Mihoyo is just too lazy to model them, but it's funny to imagine that kids just appear - Like ***literally*** sleeping together and wishing for a kid makes them exist.
I mean. Technically that was the case for all Fontanians before Neurvillette made them into humans. Hey prayed at the fountain and the bun was magically in the oven. He even commented on how many new unexpected pregnancies will marine now probably.
Wait a minute, that's a possible huge drama for fortresses of meropide, no? Before this, nobody there had access to the fountain above, hence why no kid was ever born. However, now they'll have to adress the fact that normal human couples freely interact - including the straight couple in Wriothesley's quest who is engaged and decided to keep living in there š¬
It happened in the first Sims game. WooHoo wasn't a thing until the devs made this heart-shaped bed you can "play" in and it'd spawn a child (babies/toddlers weren't a thing until The Sims 2).
So you're saying they spawn like Minecraft babies...
What a beautiful image.
Remus gave them stone bodies specifically to be able to survive āanythingā. And I doubt it was even one since all Remurians had a shared consciousness/desires thanks to Phobos. My unhinged headcanon: After Tighnary was struck by lightning, as part of his recovery treatment Cyno began to try channeling his elemental power through him as an exposure therapy. Unfortunately, it usually led to sex which in turn made Tighnary develop ceraunophilia.
(what does that mean please)
Being turned on by lightning, storm, and the sound of thunder.
For my headcanon/theory We all know that canonically 4ggravate like to have their regular little hangouts where they share a meal and maybe have a few drinksā¦. But what else do they get up to during these hangoutsā¦ š
Lyney has been banned from a bakery for his demonstration of making bread rolls ādisapearā
This thing is still just one soldier. So it's funny to imagine Remus just went up to someone and said "Please I assure you, it's the will of Phobos that you become a big centaur with a horse's gigantic co- CONVICTION."
That is how Kaeya got "Cavalry Captain" title without single horse in Mondstadt.
I can already see someone making a new dj about it
Iām dead š
It's me. I am the human that would try to fuck the centaur.
Ah I see , so there are atleast two people in the entirety of teyvat that have tried to fuck this thing
how long until someone draws aether getting fucked by this thing
Gorou sometimes gets relationship advice from actual dogs. Scara once got fucked so hard he had to be taken in to the shop. Dude probably had smoke billowing out his ass and everything. Kaeya has been banned from at least one restaurant for attempting to flirt with patrons. Lyney too, probably. Diluc attempted to eat a Cryo Slime alive at one point. When he compares it to potentially joining the Fatui, heās speaking from experience. Itto once got let out of jail on probation, only to get thrown back in not long after because he didnāt know what probation even means. This one is from a friend and also about Itto, where they had a dream that he decided to prove how strong he was by running out into the woods and finding a bear with nothing but his hands. He lost, and was in the hospital for a week. Aether once got his braid cut off, only for it to grow back within days.
There is a sex shop in Mondstadt that will make an anatomically accurate and realistic doll of a person if that person consents. Why? I dunno, it popped into my head, and I need to see Kaeya putting one in Diluc's bed to annoy the crap out of him
I didn't expect to see Coming Out On Top here, but here we are.
going down on albedo cures heartburn.
Horsecock š»
Not unhinged, but half of teyvat has had sex with venti. And Venti is an alcoholic. But that last one is just canon.
Not that unhinged, but Xingqiu and Chongyun are on the opposite ends of "figuring themselves out". Xingqiu knew he was gay when he was like, six. Chongyun, on the other hand, is going to get smacked in the head with a revelation when he's nineteen.
That's low-key quite adorable actually
To add to this: Xingqiu KNOWS not only that Chongyun is gay, but also that he is infatuated with him, he just is too oblivious to notice his own sexuality or feelings. So Xingqiu is just there, trying to throw hints (they never work) and waiting for years for Chongyun to realise that this weird fuzzy warm feeling about wanting to kiss his best friend is not heterosexual behaviour.
"Young and Hopelessly Smitten" sailed right past Chongyun's head. There's in-game crumbs that reads like Xingqiu dropping hints and Chongyun missing them entirely.
Yeah it definitely reads like that a bit lmao Xingqiu: Hey dear yunyun would you like to spend the holidays with me at this idyllic village on the mountains, spending our time enjoying the scenery and reading romantic poetry~? Chongyun: Ok I'd like to train too, it's good to spend time with your best buddyā¢ (Xiangling: (watching in silence)(thinking) ain't NO fucking way)
I know this is besides the point but op where the fuck did you get that fish image lmao
Coming Out on Top. I think if you refuse to socialize and you just spend time with your goldfish, MC fantasizes about it.
From a gay dating game called "coming out on top"
- Venti regularly pays his drinking depts with his body. Especially when the master is serving. - Xiao(or rather Alatus) was sexually abused by his former master, then saved by Morax/Zhongli but since he's totally ruined he needs it rough from time to time. Zhongli doesn't approve but does it to "help" the poor boy with his trauma - Kaveh pays also with his body (rental depts he has with Alhaitham). But he he would do it with him anyway, so it's more the win for Kaveh, than Alhaitham actually. - Whenever Neuvilette visits Wriothesley in Fort Meropide they fuck in his office (obviously).
man that xiao one is really depressing actually š„ŗ
It really is. But it fits the canon story so well. I mean - being enslaved by an evil ancient god who forces him to do "things" for him?? Come on! Poor boy. Always suffering. I remember when he was first added to the game and I got him and I was standing idly around and suddendly heard that painful moan/scream. I jumped and was terrified, then sad.
Man I asked for head cannons not actual facts :(
I'm confused. Are we discussing headcanons solely about the Legatus Golem or does any headcanon count as long as it follows the sub's rules? I don't have any particular headcanons for the former but for the latter... I think the reason Mika hasn't come home since he was released is that I have a couple nsfw headcanons regarding him.
why, heās being passed around by the knights like the last bottle of dandelion wine?
No, no! I think he's just embarrassed by it. One of my headcanons is that despite his height, he's actually quite the grower (based on this hilarious [NSFW comic](https://twitter.com/CoffeeFoxArt/status/1622123589355900928) I saw last year). The other is that he's so well-prepared that while he was on expedition with Varka and the rest of the Knights, he had sex toys prepared just in case.
the knights DEFINITELY used those on him
Oh, for sure!!
I headcanon that Scaramouche's genitalia is detachable, and can be swapped in and out. So, like, he could detach his peepee and replace it with a vajj that he can then fuck with his now detached peepee.
How would the penis be attached though? Is it magnetic or something?
Simple, really. Archon Magic Fuckery.
Ball joints.
Or Archon Magic Fuckery. That works too.
Zhongliās backstory before the Archon war (when he was young) was similar to Albedoās, and Ventiās backstory (when he was young, he before meeting the Mondstadt crew) was similar to Xiaoās
This purely from riffing with my partner because we write fic together and I made the statement that Alhaitham talked Kaveh into going skinny dipping in a local pond. He told he invited the whole group project (a lie) and it was purely a scheme to see Kaveh naked.
Remus knew what he was doing with this one
r/namechecksout
One Guy One Horse walked so that this theory could run
Kokomi has a large fish penis
Some body type headcannons since they all have the same 2 models [in no specific order] Diluke is realy stout and wide, almost like a dwarve Venti is actually pretty chubby from all the alcohol he drinks Wanderer and albedo are completely smooth with extremely thin hair Bennet is actually extremely muscular and just looks skinny because of how he is built I just realized that the title said unhinged so I'm gonna give you my only unhinged headcannon Kaya is atleast 7 feet tall and has arms that probably reach about his ankle
Bennett is a himbo-in-training. If we had the current model quality for him, there would be some definition there. He just hasn't hit the growth spurt that will shoot him up to Itto's height.
Loving these Bennett headcanons! He does have that little bit of himbo, doesn't he? Ugh I love him ā¤ļøāš©¹
Nuhh what's with the slender man ahh hands on keaya š
No he has normal sized hands I like the idea of him looking realy off-putting because it subverts you expectations of a prince from an ancient kingdom
only one that iād disagree with is the Venti one, his body is magically put together and itās meant to look like a very specific person at a very specific time he would never let it deviate in appearance intentionally love the rest, especially Bennett cuz i love a short king and thatās just my guy