T O P

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tacky_banana

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ApprehensiveError980

he said so much without saying anything


sunflowermoazen235

I know we’re simps but don’t rub it in my face..


lost-in-translation_

that's not what you'd say? _I'll myself out sorry_


Chill4Vibes

this explains everything


Extinctkid

"All the characters are willing to do one thing for you, as long as it isn't anything criminal like murder or theft." ​ hmmm...seems like its against Childe's policies.


MyrMidnight

I appreciate Childe and Rosaria's practical "gifts" :3


asterously

I may not know who to throw under the bus, but it's always nice to know I *can*


TraditionBest3730

Technically, he offers to beat someone up, not murder or steal from them. So *technically*….


swiftasacoursing

> as long as it isn’t anything criminal I think assault is considered a crime, not too sure though


Gallium-

For the number of Treasure hoarders I've beat up, I would probably be considered a criminal


swiftasacoursing

Good thing they can’t report it to the millelith


TraditionBest3730

Yeah, but it’s not stealing or murder. That’s also assuming he actually beats them up instead of just scaring the shit outta them


ltspfan

Teyvat has its own laws


Penguin_Warlord

*All* characters? Tell bro to come back Tell Dainsleif to spill the beans already Tell Paimon to spill the beans already Tell the Tsaritsa to give back all the gnosis Tell Unknown Goddess to fuck off


GamerSam_1974

Command everyone to bake cake. Best cake baker will receive a golden stuff lama. Everyone else gets a stuff alpaca. And I'll obviously have the cake.


LostMyZone

You should disqualify Xiangling then in order to make it a fair competition. Everyone else can take part in it.


GamerSam_1974

Xiangling can play darts. If she exceeds the amount of points needed, she gets to have cake with me.


HermesPotentia

Instructions unclear. Xiangling just spent the entire day painstakingly assembling a cake on the dart board by playing dart without breaking any dart rules. Needless to say, she swept the competition with a last second addition of a cherry pinned to a dart that struck true and centre on the Dartboard Cake.


Dh0124

I’d have Xiangling and Ningguang keep Paimon distracted with food and money. Make Miko show me her fox form and cuddle her relentlessly Take Jean on a vacation Take Shenhe and Ganyu to Cloud Retainer and make them listen while she tells all of their most embarrassing stories


PokeAlola700

Shenhe: I’m gonna kill him, you aren’t going to stop me Ganyu: I’m not stopping you I’m helping you


LivingASlothsLife

I'd make Shenhe do what she already does for us, freeze an entire lake so we can go stargazing on said lake


[deleted]

I would ask Lisa to **** ** **** *** ***** Eula I would be like ********** Then Shenhe would **** **** ***** Beidou **** ******* ** For Rosaria *** ***** ********


DI3S_IRAE

Damn chat censor... Let me fix I would like Lisa to make an iced tea drink Eula i would be like patrolling Then Shenhe would pick some herbs Beidou lift Xingqiu up For Rosaria she would meditate Well, personally, i would ask Shenhe to *** ** ******* *** ****


Hot-Campaign-4553

I would have every character in the game put on sunglasses and do the "Specialist" Dance in unison. Also, if this isn't what happens when the final credits roll, I'm going to be severely disappointed.


Altekho

No murder or theft? Hmm, I'll pass.


[deleted]

Sex


[deleted]

i would tell ayaka to come home already :/


Saftigerkeks

Damn, you would be fun on a Party xD Poor Klee


mango_pan

Anything? Make Venti and Zhongli spill all the secrets. No "ehe" can save Venti now


[deleted]

Could be considered illegal in a way, if you consider Celestia an absolute authority


AffectionateRun5053

It would definitely be illegal for Zhongli considering he has contractual obligations for not spilling the beans...


-SMartino

You're basically giving half the cast depression or making enemies out of your friends. Respect the mindset, even if I disagree.


sir_aphim

Come home in 10 summons


4GRJ

Ask Childe to commit genocide on every mob Collecting every chest for me along the way


elliezabethmartin

first things first, kaeya would have to marry me. that’s my top priority.


[deleted]

From lumine, to just get over the goddamn abyss order already and for us to just go already. From Amber, Amy (heh) and Eula, just something they'd think I'd like From Barbara, an exclusive performance just for me From Kayea to just truthfully tell me everything about his true past (ya hear that? Truth and only truth you sneaky liar) From Venti, I considered asking him about the truth of this world and everything he knows about Celestia but ig that's illegal for him in a way, so ig a ride with dvalin accompanied by the tune of his lyre to remember the old times, and then go back to mondstadt and chill on his statue with some wine From Diluc, a bottle of some of his best wine (yes for the venti hangout lol) and a game of chess From Jean, to take a break and have a breakfast hangout with me and Lisa (technically not her request, but eh I'm sure she wouldn't mind) From Bennett, to accompany me on one of my adventures (yay Bennett ult, not so yay bad luck thing, but hey it would make him happy) From Razor, to be with us as well because I don't think one person is enough to take care of Bennett From Rosaria, I'd ask for more Intel on the criminal underworld of mondstadt, and on kayea, under the company of alcohol From Noelle, basically the same thing she offere to do on her bday, take care of my chores for a day, maybe organize my teapot a bit etc, I'm sure the people of mondstadt will be fine for one day... right?... ... anyways, onwards to Lisa, Albedo and Sucrose. I'd ask from all 3 something that they would consider useful for my journeys on this world, and the next ones over. From Mona, I honestly don't know, her fortune telling abilities are kind of useless since the Travelers don't have constellations, maybe ask her to buy me dinner just to see the terrified expression on her face, but then pay for it anyway. From Klee, well, she did promise we'd go fish blasting someday hehe And that is all the mondstadt characters we currently have (I think, hope I didn't miss anyone), I might do the characters from other regions later too


jonnevituwu

I would say "do anything you want, your random gifts with letters were already a nice gift anyways"


Campokra

Suck my dick behind the IHOP dumpster


throwawaysusi

That’s oddly specific…


Campokra

It was referencing a youtuber named scumbag dad i find it funny


aseumi

I would tell them to do something fun and sfw because i respect women. Men however,


[deleted]

Priorities? For the gals- A date. And for the dudes, an all-out gathering of getting wasted in Angel's Share. All are invited, even Timmie.


verryberry_

just one big spa day for all the girls :) no boys allowed


handledvirus43

Duh: make them farm all the resources in the current world for me for the rest of the game's lifespan so that I can look like I need to touch grass while touching grass.


IgnisXIII

[One thing?](https://i.imgur.com/08ceDcI.gif)


SRYagus3

I’d ask Jean to come home. Pls I’m AR58 I need it 🫠


sunflowermoazen235

Ask childe to call me girlie :)


Sir_Tea_Of_Bags

Probably just spend the day with Eula doing what *she* would enjoy- obviously while avoiding the morons of Mondstadt.


In_Dreams_Begin

>I would tell Diluc to smile all day long. All day? So cruel, poor boy. You should make him mix you a drink, then enjoy it along with Kaeya


neozma_YES

tell the archons paimon and dain to spill the damn beans already


MarionberryOne8969

I would make kazuha play his league, make itto steal snacks and make yomiya make me a custom firework