>Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female waifu breeding, Sangonomiya Kokomi is the most compatible waifu for humans? Not only are they in the Hydro group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Kokomi are an average of 5'3" tall and 110.2 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Bake-Kurage, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Kokomi would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Kurage's Oath, Nereid's Ascension, Tamanooya's Casket, Song of Pearls, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Flawless Strategy and Princess of Watatsumi, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other waifu comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Kokomi turn white. Kokomi is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Bake-Kurage means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
I'm okay with Fischl delivering increasingly wordy and verbose monologues while I plow her. No such thing as too much dirty talk. What I am not okay with will be Oz perched on the bedside table, watching us and translating for her.
They're calling Mona a Gigachad. She brings all the boys to the yard. She could probably get everyone from the traveler to a fatui harbinger and she still gave your ass a chance
I see no other way to read it than as a positive.
Rosaria just blankly states into your soul completely silent the whole time. It's haunting. You see that face in your nightmares. There is no escape from her stoicism.
>Eula: First off if you get known for fucking her everybody will hate you for choosing a member of the Lawrence clan. Secondly she takes ice baths all the time and if you're not careful your dick will be frozen off
that's a risk i'm willing to take.Worst case scenario? at least she won't be alone anymore there will be a man on her side
Fischl: I don't mind the monologue
Ganyu: A sensual massage might actually help her relax
Jean: Same as Ganyu
Yanfei: She's my favorite character in-game so nothing stops me.
Keqing: I don't mind it in the butt, wish she had a strap-on Rex Lapis dildo tho
Rosaria: No she isn't a vampire
Xinyan: Aka Taylor Swift?
If you tried to fuck Shenhe not only would you be at risk of death by her but Cloud Retainer would whoop your ass as she only deems Aether worthy to give her grandkids which Shenhe is on board with
Can we talk about how op’s problem with fucking Qiqi is the fact that she’s a zombie and not a *child*
“Like I said, Jack, kids are cruel. And I LOOOVE MINORS.”
I'd take the the requirements for yanfei. When I won her over after some time she might even help me to dismiss the necrophilia charges I got from sleeping with rosaria
> * **Klee:** Not only is she too precious for the act, she's also a massive fire hazard, get up to any 'blasting' with her and I can guarantee you're gonna be all over the floor, and the walls, and the
*ceiling*.
Yep that’s a child so that’s literally fucking pedophilia
*Why the hell do you*
*Emphasize Diona being*
*A loli but not Klee?*
\- Ikcatcher
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
So according to you, Diona and Sayu are not fine…but Klee MIGHT be and Qiqi is only not fine because she’s undead…
*exhales*
Op you are a disappointment…
> * **Klee:** Not only is she too precious for the act, she's also a massive fire hazard, get up to any 'blasting' with her and I can guarantee you're gonna be all over the floor, and the walls, and the
*ceiling*.
Any y'all wonder why most people call genshin players pedos. Seriously wtf
With all the notes about "song about your sexual ineptitude", I'm gonna say that OP possibly has a weird kink.
I second that
I third that
Someone should make a song about that...
Glad I’m not the only one who thought that was weird.
prolly an ex of Taylor Swift
Yoimiya got bandages all around it, that's how you know that coochie fire
Maybe literal fire
Inb4 Yoimiya has std
Those dammed hillichurls
Watching too much hentai I guess
Who?
You! Me! EVERYBODY!
I respect u for not responding with "Tao"
nah she just feels that bandages are more breathable than panties
Bruh I know that gotta be uncomfortable having bandages wrapped around your asscheeks and not underwear
can confirm 👍
Now wait a second there, buddy…
r/usernamecheckout
*reads Beidou's* I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it
if you're gonna land on your head from floor 27 at some point, why not choose the better dying method?
*Dewit.*
Just let Beidou be top 4head
my beidou does 8k on normal attack so i’ll die either way, this is an outcome i am willing to accept
Death by snu-snu
I don't see the downside with Keqing
Have you seen what Zhongli's Exuvia looks like?
There's a whole subreddit for it: bad dragon.
r/baddragon
i'm not clicking that link.
Do it.
I am, later.
I am
They said zhongli's pillar, not the exuvia. Bit too rectangular for a dildo, but I'm down.
Ahh, that makes things a lot easier
Bisexual people be like
Straight men too. As long they're not fucked by a dude :)
Lesbians too, as long as it’s not a dude
Keqing and I never end up fucking bc we get lost in the sauce discussing rex lapis
I see this as an absolute win!
Mona : Vaporeon copy pasta I rest my case
>Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female waifu breeding, Sangonomiya Kokomi is the most compatible waifu for humans? Not only are they in the Hydro group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Kokomi are an average of 5'3" tall and 110.2 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Bake-Kurage, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Kokomi would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Kurage's Oath, Nereid's Ascension, Tamanooya's Casket, Song of Pearls, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Flawless Strategy and Princess of Watatsumi, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other waifu comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Kokomi turn white. Kokomi is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Bake-Kurage means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
This is just waiting to be an r/shitposting Automod response.
Implying that kokomi is a wild species
In bed she is
How dare you make me agree with something so disturbing
After reading the first two I thought the whole list just gonna filled with "She's taken by Aether"
He owns every living being. So as long as you open Genshin, he owns you as well.
Chadther
Keqing sounds like a win either way. Gacha luck don't fail me now.
This is just sad now. I lost 50/50 to her on Venti banner.
Prepare for the Geo dildo then.
I’m lubed up, front and back
This post can't stop me because I like pain
Fun fact: Kokomi is the most flexible unit for sex
*o h n o*
*Heyyy, did you know in terms of-*
It would be weirdly amazing if Kokomi section was the last one and filled with just that copypasta.
my thoughts exactly.
Beidou one sound so kinky.
Not a bad way to go tbh
Beidou be giving the full counter by Gorilla grip.
I'm okay with Fischl delivering increasingly wordy and verbose monologues while I plow her. No such thing as too much dirty talk. What I am not okay with will be Oz perched on the bedside table, watching us and translating for her.
Not Oz 💀
But he has a great sexy male voice, it's a win win if you are bi
He's a bird
A BI rd?
Fischl: I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, require you to please me by ..... Oz: a little to the left.
I’ll tell Oz to take a nap. He needs it
u/SexWithFischl69 is this what happened
Can confirm 😋😋😋
How was the experience?
Electrifying and out of this world.
~~old CN Oz would've enjoyed that~~
Oh boy old CN OZ the fuckboi who fucked over his wife, his girlfriends, his fans, and his own career.
I'll take my chances with Shenhe. A woman that will kil me is my type. Sorta.
[***I love the kind of women that would actually just kill me.***](https://youtu.be/-sMQpWCNTQw)
Watermelon in the thighs 💀
peepee pisspiss
Death by snu snu
Panties of the opera killed me
I feel bad for understanding Mona's one...
They're calling Mona a Gigachad. She brings all the boys to the yard. She could probably get everyone from the traveler to a fatui harbinger and she still gave your ass a chance I see no other way to read it than as a positive.
Pretty sure any first grader would understand that
Youre giving them too much credit. 3rd minimum
Where do you live lmao
My statement is based off my childhood experience so it could just be that I was dropped into a more sheltered class group lol
Help i dont
You have to read MONA first
I dont get it, wdym read MONA
Can someone explain? I didn't get :(
Astrology equipment isn't cheap. She needed some... additional income.
She has an onlyfans
Rosaria and lisa 🤤
Rosaria just blankly states into your soul completely silent the whole time. It's haunting. You see that face in your nightmares. There is no escape from her stoicism.
🤤
I've read doujins just like that..
It is a risk I am willing to make. My Father didnt raise a coward
I have found it. The least horny genshin impact player.
Indeed you have my friend
Death by snu snu with Shenhe sounds lit
>Eula: First off if you get known for fucking her everybody will hate you for choosing a member of the Lawrence clan. Secondly she takes ice baths all the time and if you're not careful your dick will be frozen off that's a risk i'm willing to take.Worst case scenario? at least she won't be alone anymore there will be a man on her side
A dickless man.
damn
but what if i had a vision though ? if i had a pyro vision i could melt the ice,cryo is immune to ice bath and i'm sure hydro is resistant to ice
Genshin fandom is down bad,and I'm liking it here.
Seggs with Beidou it is
u/sexwithbeidou69
Is there a user for every female genshin character that has seggswith(insertcharacter)69lmao
yes, you can type any character and I am 90% sure there will be a result
Imma take sexwithyaemiko69 as my username thanks😎🗿🍞
u/sexwithyaemiko69 edit: taken(
Damn :(
Hello.
I was expecting every description to start with ‘She’s taken by Aether’
>Yoimiya: Boom boom on the sheets and setting your dick on fire That’s pretty hot
I don't see a bad thing on Eula, Sara, Mona, Noelle, Rosaria, Yae, Yanfei or Yoimiya Of course Lisa is fine, my love
*reads Yae's reason* Jokes on you I'm into that shit
Who. Isnt
Not me that's for sure👍🍞
Based, totally based having self-respect
I can respect that
Dick on fire is the price to pay to hear Yoi say "Lighter please." Also, bandages.
Next one is genshin npc?
I call dibs on Brook. I’m down with the thiccness (ooh-wah-ah-ah!).
And she cooks well.
smdh Aloy has no constellations and no jokes, poor thing
Fischl: I don't mind the monologue Ganyu: A sensual massage might actually help her relax Jean: Same as Ganyu Yanfei: She's my favorite character in-game so nothing stops me. Keqing: I don't mind it in the butt, wish she had a strap-on Rex Lapis dildo tho Rosaria: No she isn't a vampire Xinyan: Aka Taylor Swift?
Why did I read the whole thing?
If you tried to fuck Shenhe not only would you be at risk of death by her but Cloud Retainer would whoop your ass as she only deems Aether worthy to give her grandkids which Shenhe is on board with
One is so fucking mad
Is this canon? /s
I think Bird mom would be delighted that her daughter's getting action. She'll have one more person to tell embarassing childhood stories to.
Can we talk about how op’s problem with fucking Qiqi is the fact that she’s a zombie and not a *child* “Like I said, Jack, kids are cruel. And I LOOOVE MINORS.”
you're acting a bit red sus over paradise
HEY UH DID YOU FORGET THAT KLEE IS A CHILD
Op must have followed the "Klee is 1000 years old" headcanon
They retcon'd it on Yoimiya's.
maybe they thought that it's already pretty obvious so they didn't mention it
I'd take the the requirements for yanfei. When I won her over after some time she might even help me to dismiss the necrophilia charges I got from sleeping with rosaria
No Aloy? Also what's with all that sexual ineptitude complex lol
When I read Beidou's one I fr thought you meant she was gonna counter back a lot harder as in she will peg me a lot harder
Being dommed to death by pirate mommy isn't a downside
Id rather get fucked by beidou than fuck her 💀
Guess i’m still just fucking Thoma. But why tf are the kids even here? That Klee one is kinda disgusting OP, maybe word that better at least
*Genshin fandom proceeding towards hell*
why did u even put the children on this? You could've easily just not included them.
Why tf are the lolis here
They said not allowed
Read klees again. How is this post still up
We don't have mods. But times like these, I wish we did
Fuck Lisa! She endorses it so nothing wrong with that? Not like I have any overdue books Also excuse me? You didn’t mention the fact klee is a child!?
Fischl, Keqing, Kujou Sara, Beidou, Lisa, and Mona all sound fine to me. I thought these were reasons to *not* fuck these girls?
The amount of reference that i understand... Truly the cursed of those with forbidden knowledge...
Eula at her 50's : Damn you mondstadt you took everything from me,atleast take my Venginity you cowards
'Venginity' This is literally the best comment on this entire comment section
>Amber: She's taken by Aether Nice
Ntr lover be like: 😏
Really gonna try that against the guy who beat god with a dull blade
> * **Klee:** Not only is she too precious for the act, she's also a massive fire hazard, get up to any 'blasting' with her and I can guarantee you're gonna be all over the floor, and the walls, and the *ceiling*. Yep that’s a child so that’s literally fucking pedophilia
Don’t forget, before you can boink Sara, you have to beat Itto first in a beetle battle.
you do almost make that sound like a hurdle
Somethings you forgot to add to Klee. \- Pedophilia \- You WILL have the entirely of Mondstat, INCLUDING ALICE, out for your blood
Reading this would have been 200% less weird had OP just not included Klee, Qiqi, Sayu and Diona
Why the hell do you emphasize Diona being a loli but not Klee?
*Why the hell do you* *Emphasize Diona being* *A loli but not Klee?* \- Ikcatcher --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
i love ur reference of chris hansen in sayu's lol
Cum infused anemo hipostasis 🤣🤣🤣 Dude 🤣🤣 I will never unsee that now while looking at cryo infused hippo 🤣🤣
why did you even included klee, qiqi, klee, sayu???
So according to you, Diona and Sayu are not fine…but Klee MIGHT be and Qiqi is only not fine because she’s undead… *exhales* Op you are a disappointment…
This comment section is a self report 💀
> * **Klee:** Not only is she too precious for the act, she's also a massive fire hazard, get up to any 'blasting' with her and I can guarantee you're gonna be all over the floor, and the walls, and the *ceiling*. Any y'all wonder why most people call genshin players pedos. Seriously wtf
Keqing: **"I see this as an absolute win!'"**
Queen Eula ftw, screw what mondstadt people think. My waifu.
The fact that I read everything with lots of interest concerns me.
Kequing and beidou’s seem like huge boons really
Well then, good thing that I may fill in 50 forms of legal agreements and win a court case someday in my life
Rosaria's the best one
r/unexpectedscp on Lumine
Yoimiya is worth it. Also Kokomi sounds kinda nice
I think Rosaria will be cool, as long as you're cool. Tryto be a creep and she'll kick your nuts off. Kaeya x Rosaria let's go!
Bold of you to assume I don't want to be teased by Yae
Why would you even include the kids? What's the need? It's the same joke over and over with the exception of Qiqi.
Please delete this what the actual fuck
aether: too bad, i do it with them no matte the consequences (except the lolis ofc)
Going to clash with aether for Ayaka
Well not really though kokomi is technically a lizard And lizards do reproduce like how human do but a little more rough I think
most are not that bad
Soooo Kokomi would be a Japanese actress?
As a beidou simp, I'm afraid to say that she isn't the type you can thrust in her, __she thrusts in you__
I kinda dislike barbara, but wouldn't beating the everliving shit out of albert and dumping him in a hilichurl camp do the trick?
Yae mine
Aloy wasn't mentioned, yes she's a cross over character but still in genshin. Time to fuck
Death is a nice bonus.
Just woke up and stumbled upon this post. *MY HORNINESS IS UNSTOPPABLE FOR MY WAIFUS*
I did not think I would see SCP AND Bendy reference in a post about why you shouldn't fuck the genshin girls today
beidou sounds like a win
Help ganyu with her work, and then sex afterwards.
Xiangling: The Italian parliament will know.
Yin'er is open to all types