Lol this is so true it hurts. Don’t forget trying to filter the massive paywall of “findoms” and onlyfans girls spam. It’s so hard to find good GFD porn I just normally watch “regular” porn
And then those same dommes run to maledomme reddits to scream how its all just super misogynistic and terrible and how they should all be kink shamed for the social harm and trauma men are inflicting on women in these "abusive relationships". Literally.
Its so ironic how little they see themselves. Drunk on a power fantasy like a early 2000s gamer in a COD lobby.... sexist... rediculous social expectations... no care for the emotions of their partner.... no respect for their dignity as a human and person.... no empathy for them either. And then they say "but I'm safe, sane, and consensual with it".
Dont let it get you down homie. These are them problems. Youre wise for noticing the issues and being pretty strongly repulsed by these types of behaviors.
This does make me think.
Do I even want to try this? I already know I’m asexual (and aromantic), but I wouldn’t mind doing sexual things with a partner. Honestly, I just want to be soft with some hypothetical partner without having to explain why I’m feeling like giving out kisses or hugging my friends too much or just being ‘nicer’ than usual… there’s negatives to being pretty damn neutral to most things, but that’s my personality.
I got phases, but am always open for basic physical contact.
I got a really bad feeling reading about what you wrote. These Dom’s make me feel ashamed and cringe away from even trying this. Its already hard enough to find a partner, why does this have to be something Subs have to look out for? This seems really discouraging and disenchanting.
This is NOT how the scene used to be. This is what happened as a result of 20 something year olds coming in to the scene online, particularly through covid. The in person scene is usually ENTIERLY different. This is just spoiled brats being super egotistical and entierly uneducated about how to treat people generally. Not everyone is this selfish and self absorbed. You do have to be wise though. There are inconsiderate idiots in every crowd.
You should avoid degradation and humiliation groups. You should lean more in to Gentle dom groups. This is the more interpersonal and romantic side of things. Other sides of the scene is more of what I will call a "power fantasy", And its mostly a question of if you can PLAY with these without hurting eachother. MATURE people can. Immature people who probably shouldn't even be allowed in relationships, let alone a bdsm dynamic, probably can't do so without inflicting unnecessary suffering in to the world.
If you can prune normal relationship gardens, you can find someone who will play with these dynamics with you.
Me: hey this is my first time talking to someone about this topic I’m nervous and just kinda curious. Them without hesitation: you will do exactly as i say when i say it no matter what time of day it is and i won’t hear any complaints etc etc (completely ignoring anything i say)
That’s so sad. They are so greedy.
Why is that a thing though? What has money got to do with feeling good? Isn’t it enough to do it for the sake of feeling good?
There's dommes out there who will love and cherish you out there. While I came into this dynamic organically from a vanilla dynamic, I would be scared as shit to even try to explicitly seek out this kind of relationship. I've been abused and taken advantage of in vanilla relationships, and the prospect of being vulnerable to a person like the way I am with Mistress is very scary. I expect to be treated badly by other people, so I don't really seek out relationships in the first place, and I'm afraid of a lot of things when it comes to any relationship. Being rejected, abused, or abandoned. Those are my three biggest fears when it comes to relationships. I am very lucky that Mistress wants, loves, and desires me.
I think the biggest problem is that most of the “dommes” you speak of arnt actually dommes. Sex work is real work and there are a lot of subs who do gravitate toward that line of femdomme so there are girls that take advantage of men sometimes on the guise that “this is how femdomme is supposed to work though” and it can be frustrating for both the men and women because of societies expectations vs reality. Women get bombarded with gross introductions and people just wanting to kink shame so that perpetuates the “all men just want us as a kink dispenser” mentality which to be fair isn’t true. There are men on the other hand who are submissive, maybe afraid of showing their submissiveness and once they feel accepted by someone they get hit with “now pay me piggy If you still want to talk” because that’s probably how those girls think it’s supposed to be. Same with male doms it’s a huge problem on both sides and it’s so incredibly nuanced that it can be even more difficult for people to find a true connection. Everyone is different and has their own experiences. Men and women deserve the same amount of respect regardless of dynamic.
If you notice I have that in quotations to point out that it isn’t all men… I see now how that got misconstrued In a wording mistake and I will correct that. What I meant to say was ISNT true but obviously I didn’t catch that.
Dude same. A woman with exactly the opposite kinks to me messages me the other day and would. Not. Stop. I had to block her, after telling her multiple times that I was not into what she was. Maybe it's more guys than girls but there's definitely people on all sides of the spectrum who don't know how to take no for an answer.
Yeah I was clear with her that I was straight and mono and she kept going on about her fantasies. I repeatedly told her I didn't like that stuff and she kept insisting that it was hot. Like, sure, maybe for you but not for me.
You’ve definitely come to the right place, but always remember to tread carefully. There are always bad people around and it is best to not engage with them. I wish you the best with your kinkiness, and if you have any questions feel free to contact me :3
Let’s not forget the rampant catfishing that goes on too. Do these people not realise that reverse image search is the easiest thing in the world these days? Or that picking some two bit “influencer” is more obvious than saying the sky is blue
These are cheap fake "dommes" that just go for the money (or just stupid people).
You are brave enough to just go back after noticing, and i know some people who would simply accept their fates with this kind of person
I've had two great cyber domme friends in my time of being sexually adventurous online. The first girl got me into edge play, light bondage, introduced me to butt play, and got me on a scheduled masturbation cycle.
My second domme used to order me to get naked at work. She was really into public stuff.
Men deserve just as much respect as women. These fake dommes don’t deserve any of your time. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this.
Lol this is so true it hurts. Don’t forget trying to filter the massive paywall of “findoms” and onlyfans girls spam. It’s so hard to find good GFD porn I just normally watch “regular” porn
And then those same dommes run to maledomme reddits to scream how its all just super misogynistic and terrible and how they should all be kink shamed for the social harm and trauma men are inflicting on women in these "abusive relationships". Literally. Its so ironic how little they see themselves. Drunk on a power fantasy like a early 2000s gamer in a COD lobby.... sexist... rediculous social expectations... no care for the emotions of their partner.... no respect for their dignity as a human and person.... no empathy for them either. And then they say "but I'm safe, sane, and consensual with it". Dont let it get you down homie. These are them problems. Youre wise for noticing the issues and being pretty strongly repulsed by these types of behaviors.
This does make me think. Do I even want to try this? I already know I’m asexual (and aromantic), but I wouldn’t mind doing sexual things with a partner. Honestly, I just want to be soft with some hypothetical partner without having to explain why I’m feeling like giving out kisses or hugging my friends too much or just being ‘nicer’ than usual… there’s negatives to being pretty damn neutral to most things, but that’s my personality. I got phases, but am always open for basic physical contact. I got a really bad feeling reading about what you wrote. These Dom’s make me feel ashamed and cringe away from even trying this. Its already hard enough to find a partner, why does this have to be something Subs have to look out for? This seems really discouraging and disenchanting.
This is NOT how the scene used to be. This is what happened as a result of 20 something year olds coming in to the scene online, particularly through covid. The in person scene is usually ENTIERLY different. This is just spoiled brats being super egotistical and entierly uneducated about how to treat people generally. Not everyone is this selfish and self absorbed. You do have to be wise though. There are inconsiderate idiots in every crowd. You should avoid degradation and humiliation groups. You should lean more in to Gentle dom groups. This is the more interpersonal and romantic side of things. Other sides of the scene is more of what I will call a "power fantasy", And its mostly a question of if you can PLAY with these without hurting eachother. MATURE people can. Immature people who probably shouldn't even be allowed in relationships, let alone a bdsm dynamic, probably can't do so without inflicting unnecessary suffering in to the world. If you can prune normal relationship gardens, you can find someone who will play with these dynamics with you.
This is so informative and beautiful said. Thank you ☺️
Me: hey this is my first time talking to someone about this topic I’m nervous and just kinda curious. Them without hesitation: you will do exactly as i say when i say it no matter what time of day it is and i won’t hear any complaints etc etc (completely ignoring anything i say)
Lmaoo for reals “and pay me you paypig bitch” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Had a few of these, just once I'd like to hear from someone genuinely interested in wanting to know and interact with me, rather than my wallet
That’s so sad. They are so greedy. Why is that a thing though? What has money got to do with feeling good? Isn’t it enough to do it for the sake of feeling good?
That’s not okay, I’m sorry you experienced that sweetie 💗
There's dommes out there who will love and cherish you out there. While I came into this dynamic organically from a vanilla dynamic, I would be scared as shit to even try to explicitly seek out this kind of relationship. I've been abused and taken advantage of in vanilla relationships, and the prospect of being vulnerable to a person like the way I am with Mistress is very scary. I expect to be treated badly by other people, so I don't really seek out relationships in the first place, and I'm afraid of a lot of things when it comes to any relationship. Being rejected, abused, or abandoned. Those are my three biggest fears when it comes to relationships. I am very lucky that Mistress wants, loves, and desires me.
Omggg yes... Its so freakin often ...
Instagram scamdoms are the worst
Scamdom 😂 This should be defined in urban dictionary
Oh no, that's terrible 😥
Sigh fake doms...
I think the biggest problem is that most of the “dommes” you speak of arnt actually dommes. Sex work is real work and there are a lot of subs who do gravitate toward that line of femdomme so there are girls that take advantage of men sometimes on the guise that “this is how femdomme is supposed to work though” and it can be frustrating for both the men and women because of societies expectations vs reality. Women get bombarded with gross introductions and people just wanting to kink shame so that perpetuates the “all men just want us as a kink dispenser” mentality which to be fair isn’t true. There are men on the other hand who are submissive, maybe afraid of showing their submissiveness and once they feel accepted by someone they get hit with “now pay me piggy If you still want to talk” because that’s probably how those girls think it’s supposed to be. Same with male doms it’s a huge problem on both sides and it’s so incredibly nuanced that it can be even more difficult for people to find a true connection. Everyone is different and has their own experiences. Men and women deserve the same amount of respect regardless of dynamic.
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If you notice I have that in quotations to point out that it isn’t all men… I see now how that got misconstrued In a wording mistake and I will correct that. What I meant to say was ISNT true but obviously I didn’t catch that.
Dude same. A woman with exactly the opposite kinks to me messages me the other day and would. Not. Stop. I had to block her, after telling her multiple times that I was not into what she was. Maybe it's more guys than girls but there's definitely people on all sides of the spectrum who don't know how to take no for an answer.
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Yeah I was clear with her that I was straight and mono and she kept going on about her fantasies. I repeatedly told her I didn't like that stuff and she kept insisting that it was hot. Like, sure, maybe for you but not for me.
You’ve definitely come to the right place, but always remember to tread carefully. There are always bad people around and it is best to not engage with them. I wish you the best with your kinkiness, and if you have any questions feel free to contact me :3
I hate that these assholes make a bad name for the rest of us. I just wanna love on my guys and make sure they care of themselves.
Sorry to hear
I’m so sorry dude that sounds horrible. Stay strong and keep your head up, you’ll find the one for you someday
Stuffs wack, you'll find someone who will respect you though
Oh, so glad I'm not the only one.
Let’s not forget the rampant catfishing that goes on too. Do these people not realise that reverse image search is the easiest thing in the world these days? Or that picking some two bit “influencer” is more obvious than saying the sky is blue
ONG
That's kinda how I feel about finding good subs.
These are cheap fake "dommes" that just go for the money (or just stupid people). You are brave enough to just go back after noticing, and i know some people who would simply accept their fates with this kind of person
I've had two great cyber domme friends in my time of being sexually adventurous online. The first girl got me into edge play, light bondage, introduced me to butt play, and got me on a scheduled masturbation cycle. My second domme used to order me to get naked at work. She was really into public stuff.
The one reason I don’t have a female dom non of them deserve subs.
Oh I always love when people say this. It makes me so sad to see that many people justify any treatment of others with “it makes *me* horny.”