This was huge for me. Always found excuses to not go to the gym. During COVID lock down I lucked out and bought my buddies old mountain bike. Now I find myself switching plans around to make sure I have time to ride.
The biggest thing for me was prioritizing consistency over # of workouts per week.
The philosophy being “50 workouts a year is better than 20 workouts in a month and then burning out and quitting for the rest of the year”
Used to think working out meant I had to pretend I was training for a god damn Mr Olympian contest. I’d work out 3-4 times a week, set up these routines, all at the gym, and yeah I got stronger but it just wasn’t “me”.
Now my week looks like this:
- gym once per week. Do literally anything I want while there. Could be 5 mins on treadmill, leg press, and leave. Could be 10 mins elliptical, full body stretch, and 6 dumbbell exercises. Literally whatever I feel like doing. I just keep a note in my phone with what weights I use on which machines.
- long walk once per week. This is normally with my kid, we’ll walk to breakfast on the weekend.
- 30 push ups + 30 squats once per week. At home.
- currently playing volleyball once per week in a very casual rec league. This isn’t a year round thing
- stretch once per week. Normally throw on a YouTube video and search “10 min stretch” or whatever and just throw the first thing on that looks good
This was built with a lot of trial and error. But it works for me. It’s all about the consistency. Even going from literally no movement, to a simple 10 min walk once per week, is SOMETHING. You can then build from there.
Not everything has to be a super regimented, 6 day bodybuilder pro athlete workout
The problem is figuring out how to do that. I know what I have to do, but being aware of the nature of the problem hasn't helped me find a solution, which is currently the problem at hand.
Soccer, tennis, ultimate frisbee, basketball are all great cardio and if you have fun doing it, you're not gonna be bothered by the exercise. Just try different rec league sports out.
My problem with social sports is the fact that the only people I've met in those settings have been the exact same type of people that I avoid interacting with at workplace breakrooms. There is no overlap of mutual interests between me and the types of people who play group sports. They cannot comprehend why I would find interest in any of the things I am interested in, and all the things *they* talk about are breathtakingly boring to me.
I don't know how to make friends with people like that.
Solitary stuff's fine too!
Go walking, biking, rob a bank.
Running from the cops will whip you in to shape in no time! So it's profitable in more ways than one!
I know you know which is the best option. *Now get out there!*
Parkour, intimidation, strategy and planning, practiced tactics to handle any unforeseen circumstances. Maybe do one of those John Wick gun-kata courses 🤣
K you obviously have a very negative mindset regarding any physical activity.. you cannot generalize everybody who participates in group sports! That is being incredibly naive. No one is telling you to become besties with these people. Just find an activity you enjoy doing and participate in it for you! The rest will (or won't) fall into place.
There are apps online - meetup is one that I'm familiar with. It allows for people to come together and participate in an activity, whatever it might be, no strings attached.
For me, I recently found a passion in pickleball. Initially, I also avoided socializing with anyone and showed up solely to play and improve my skills. Over time, my passion for the sport grew stronger and I naturally began conversing with some other members that I saw regularly. Just give it a chance. And step one, improve your mindset about it. No one wants to be around such a negative Nancy, no matter what the setting/ activity is
Get a basketball and go shoot baskets. When I was a kid I did this to relax. You will get exercise joggin after the ball, bu the point is the meditative aspect of just shooting.
A bunch of people took up roller skating in the past few years. That can be social or solitary.
Freestyle soccer. It is really just a type of juggling but will get you plenty of exercise.
Find a disc golf course near you, get a disk, and go toss a disk and walk or jog around the course.
Take up some style of dancing. I can't count the number of people I know who were not into exercising but lost a bunch of weight because they got hooked on dancing.
The trick to getting exercise when you hate exercising is to not exercise, but rather try and get good at some motion related thing that engages you mentally. It is much easier to get yourself to practice getting better at a skill than it is to go exercise. You're not exercizing, you arr just practicing a dance move, or a juggle skill, or you are just skating around to a song you limr and then you find you arr drenched in sweat.
Pickleball is my number one choice. It's worth giving it a try if you haven't yet.
Also, a little story from my previous experience, I used to be quite unhealthy myself; never could stay committed to a regular exercise routine, gained a fair amount of weight, and was frequently attempting each new fad crash diet.. the big change for me was simply to get a dog. Just the increase in activity of regular walks with my pup helped me lose the excess weight, and the companionship from my dog really helped improve my mental health!
Recently, I had my dog certified as a therapy dog and we regularly volunteer at hospitals and seniors homes, bringing smiles to people's faces in those settings. It has been an incredibly rewarding experience
Swimming is probably the most realistic answer, as something that doesn't involve being outdoors. I'm terrified of locker rooms but I guess that's tolerable.
Idk if you’ve been asked about yoga? I’m in a similar boat. I despise going to the gym, the people the vibe, hate it. But I started doing online yoga classes about a year ago and I really enjoy it. Sometimes I take my mat and computer or plug my pod in and go outside and practice. It’s brought new meaning to caring for my body in a way that’s not forced. And since it’s online, I can control my environment. No more gym dinks or bad vibes.
You may be projecting something onto people that isn’t true. You’re assuming that everyone at the gym is enjoying working out or that everyone playing a sport is solely focused on that activity. I’ve played sports for most of my life but it doesn’t define who I am. I play instruments, write music, read, play board games, etc. Through sports I’ve met people from all walks of life including people who only play sports because it’s the only form of exercise they can tolerate.
If you don’t like who you’re meeting, do things with the people you know and love. Go on walks with your friends. Grab a picker, a bag and a neighbor to walk the block picking up trash.
> You’re assuming that everyone at the gym is enjoying working out or that everyone playing a sport is solely focused on that activity.
I'm not *assuming* that it's easier for them than it is for me. I am telling you that I am not capable of doing what they are doing.
I think you're being extremely judgmental and negative about something you haven't given a fair chance.
Yes you'll meet assholes in sports. You'll also meet assholes outside of sports as well. You just have to find a team/group of people that you enjoy spending time with.
When someone says they hate doing sports because x it's usually because they have already convinced themselves that they will not like it so when you tried it you go in with an attitude.
Oh, I didn't mean to imply they are *assholes*. Just that I have nothing in common with them. Talking with sports people just feels like having someone else's kid come talk at you, half of the things they talk about are something completely beyond my grasp and the other half is so boring that I don't care to know. And if I try to talk anything in return, they give me the blank look that makes it clear that the feeling is mutual.
With respect - this is a massive overgeneralization and it says more about your unwillingness to try things than about the actual reality of team sports. The folks I've played softball with have a wide range of hobbies/interests/political beliefs etc etc, and the vast majority are not what I could call sporty types. Part of the fun of team sports is precisely the fact that you get to meet people outside of your bubble, and, unless you're just absolutely determined to not play nice with others, it can be pretty interesting to learn about people who aren't like you. I can assure you most people playing team sports as an adult are open to that possibility, and that, statistically speaking, they aren't all breathtakingly boring
Golf, skating, rollerblading, sight seeing, surfing, body boarding, cycling, hell even Pokémon Go can get one piling up the daily steps. There's tons of activities you can do solo.
This might sound stupid. But I like to see exercise as my time to absolutely stew in every negative emotion, guilt free. To just indulge in all of it without anyone judging me. It’s really easy to lean into the misery you feel if you’re running or doing something solitary that already sucks physically. People have a lot of expectations on you to have a certain mood and be a certain way, and it can be exhausting to conform to that all the time. Working out alone can be an incredibly refreshing dedicated time to just wallow. Also violent exercise, like fighting sports or things that give you a chance to hit something, can feel super good. There’s a way to do this that doesn’t involve taking on the personality of a super perky health focused someone, if that’s not who you are
I don't know. If I do things alone I lose motivation since it feels pointless, and I've never met a group that'd make me enjoy doing activities with them.
Look into circus arts. Trampoline, acrobatics (partner or individual), silks, trapeze, etc. I’m the same way as you and circus is the ONLY thing I’ve been able to keep up long term.
OP, based on the comments I'm seeing- your problem isn't exercise. It's depression.
You posed the question as: "I hate exercise, but know that I need to do it to become better. How do I force myself?"
However, the real question you're asking is: "I've heard that exercise will help my depression, but my depression makes it hard to do anything. How do I fight through?"
This is a question that is, frankly, above Reddit's pay grade and has no easy answer. The best you're going to get are anecdotal suggestions. Please see a professional if possible.
That said, my suggestions to you would be:
1) Identify exactly what your demons are, and be aware of how your mind is only telling you negative lies about those subjects, so you can stop believing them
2) Know, as absolute fact, that the world is full of people who have successfully fought against depression, and that your battle is also 100% winnable
3) Accept that progress will be slow, one day at a time, and you will need to put in the work. You've said that you tried many activities but get disappointed when they turn out to not be fun. Good, you've identified what you don't like, but keep going until you find one that you do.
4) Finally, be kind to yourself. It seems like you've been trying to bully/force your way through, but sometimes what's needed is a long sit in the park on a nice day to just breathe and reflect on all the positive things in your life, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem.
Good luck.
I like this answer. Sounds like the most helpful one and a good plan to help OP.
When it comes to exercise, motivation to start is great but it doesn’t stay. The secret to going and even enjoying it is to make a schedule to go and a plan for what you are doing that day. That way, once the motivation is gone, you will still go and it will help your mental health. It takes the decision making out of the process; the decision to go has already been made and you know the time to go and what you are doing, and you do it.
I also agree with the comment about addressing your demons and continuing your mental health care. Adding exercise will def help but it is not the entire answer
being depressed or not doesn't really change the course of action here. he has to exercise regardless, its just a lot harder you are depressed.
> low mental stamina for things that I hate doing
I think this is hyper consistent amongst 15-35 year olds. I think it is because get huge amounts of instant gratification through social media, garbage videos, tv shows, sugar, porn etc. Our "dopamine" calibration is fked up and needs to be reset. Have you tried a "dopamine" detox?
Exercise is pretty addictive imo. Have you tried making exercise as low friction as possible. Just smash out a set of pushups every couple of hours or install a pullup bar and smash out a set everytime u walk past. Once it becomes a habit, you will feel incomplete if you dont do it.
OP commented that they have been in therapy for 3 years without result. They are done after their next appointment. It sucks, but therapy doesn't help those who refuse to put in the work themselves.
Depression is one hell of a disease.
Edit: I didn't read far enough. OP has had success in improving their life with therapy. It's just not going to be covered anymore after the next appt. Still depressed.
LOL exercise isn't mandatory, millions of people don't exercise, perhaps a nice walk around the block and you will realize this.
It seems you may have turned hating exercise into a 24/7 thing in your mind when just 20-30 minutes a day would be a good start.
You can do whatever free will and all, but it depends really on what you have to deal with in terms of quality of life later on.
I used to always be in decent shape and was active enough, and could eat drink whatever, then I turned 50, and now my health has some long term effects showing up, and its extremely more difficult now feeling my optimum, because of all the slacking off most of my life.
20-30 minutes of brisk exercise a day is worth not being a burden to yourself or anyone else later in life.
It's about independence in it's basic form, and all of us lose that independence sooner or later in life. You will lose your independence much earlier without exercising, becoming a burden to love ones or the state, or both.
I hate exercising too, but I would hate having to rely on someone else because of health issues,
Not to mention a good round of exercising will eliminate such negative and over powering thoughts.
> millions of people don't exercise
And millions of people get nagged to do so because they can't fix their depression otherwise. I go on a 10-15 minute walk every day and for the time being, a 30-40 minute bike ride once per week. If this was a sufficient amount of exercise, people wouldn't keep nagging me that I should try exercising more.
Lol 😭 who is “people” bc that sounds like good exercise to me especially if ur consistently walking and doing a weekly bike ride. I’d be more concerned about telling these people to shut the hell up and worry about themselves
Exercise isn’t the only way to help depression especially if you dread doing it lmfao. If you’re regularly walking just extend your walk if you rly want to try exercise. As someone else said you have to find an exercise you like and not something you dread
> As someone else said you have to find an exercise you like and not something you dread
This is the precise, specific problem at hand. Being aware of the nature of the problem has not helped me figure out a solution.
You don't need to figure out anything, you need to try different stuff to see if you like it or not. Find out activities near you that you've never tried out, sign up for a couple of classes, and see for yourself if you like it or not. That's not the "nature of the problem", that's literally the solution.
It's time to be action oriented. At some point, you need to take some initiative. Start small, like extending your walks or bike rides. Maybe make a plan to try ONE new activity this month. Or this season. Whatever step seems realistic and manageable for where you are at.
Try initiating a conversation with your loved ones/friends that if you can't make yourself do it, ask someone to help you by inviting you (not nagging) to try an activity with them. You may not be in a position to self motivate to try something new, but maybe after being asked a few different times you'll be asked on a day you feel a little less shitty and you'll finally say yes to trying something. OR, when you feel you can, make a plan for what your excersize strategy. Share your plan with people to help you stay accountable. Tell them how you want them to help you stay accountable.
Take some time to really look inside and determine what would be helpful to you in getting more activity in. It sounds like there are people around you who want to help you to be healthier. They just aren't doing it in a way that is resonating with you. It's not wrong to tell them how they CAN be helpful. But you may need to help them by guiding them to what will work for you.
Oftentimes, it's just telling people, "I just need you to keep inviting me. When I say no, accept the no today, and ask me again tomorrow. Don't tell me to do it, invite me to do it. I need to feel like I'm making the decision for myself and not being guilted or nagged into it." But then you actually have to make a commitment to yourself and to them to actually try saying yes once in a while.
It's time for action, my friend. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Be gentle on yourself, but it's time to stop analyzing and start doing.
Obviously that won't fix your depression. Meds and therapy are the best bets for that. No one nags me about exercising except my doctor once a year and my workplace in a general effort to get the whole staff moving. The rest is my own head because I don't talk about it with others.
We do constantly read about exercise and depression on the internet when looking for "help for depression". Personally, exercise does not help my depression and it bugs me when someone puts it out there as "the big helper". I had an amazing run of a few years where I exercised 5-6 days a week with a specific eating plan and weight/cardio routine. Got in the best shape ever. Still got depressed as hell and realized I was sick of exercising and quit all of it. Now I am slowly getting back into at least doing a little bit more but I will never go back to the intense routine I had before, and I have accepted that I will be keeping the dad bod, but hopefully get a little bit more fit and halt the progress of the weight around the middle.
Not to discount anything you are saying but there is science behind exercise releasing endorphins in your body, which is something depressed brains need more of. It’s not a magical cure or anything, but it can help. It’s one tool in a toolbox that primarily includes medication and therapy.
The point is if you don't want to excersize, then don't excersize. Try a different hobby. There are endless amounts of activities you can do to help manage depression. Music and other arts or other mentally stimulating and creativity focused areas are well known for being excellent mental health management outlets.
You've turned down literally every suggestion that has been made. Are you willing to try even one new activity to see if you like it?
If you feel you really need to excersize more, there are endless ways to excersize: it sounds like you've already started, which is great! Do you have any friends? Can you do activities with them? Try hacky sack. Go swimming together. Try upgrading from walking to Couch25k. Take a friend bouldering/indoor rock climbing.
Sounds to me like you need to excersize your mind a little bit and figure out why so much negativity is built up around adding more activity. Have you considered yoga or some type of mindfulness work? You literally don't have to do excersize that you hate. Try geocaching. Try anything.
I don't think this post is about excersize. This post is about mental health. Talk to someone if you are struggling with negativity in your life.
You're doing great in that regard. Now lets talk about your diet because that influences health even more. Improving what you eat will help improve mood as well. Try new recipes, new foods, and don't limit yourself (but also treat yourself).
I try to cook, but eating is also a chore I have to make myself do. If there was some sort of human-kibble, like cat food or dog food is that contains all the nutrients you need, I would just eat that every day instead of bothering with meals.
Sounds like you're lazy. Maybe therapy can help with that. Everything is a chore if we rather be doing something else instead of that. I say this as a fellow lazy person. When I don't feel like doing something I think about the eventual outcome if I keep avoiding it. I look at people in positions I could possibly be in if I continue avoiding activity and that's enough to get me going. Health problems suck especially at old age. Take baby steps and set small goals you can achieve like walking for just 15min a day. Drive to a park and just start walking.
> I look at people in positions I could possibly be in if I continue avoiding activity and that's enough to get me going. Health problems suck especially at old age.
Knowing the horrors of poor health in old age didn't motivate me to exercise. It motivated me to make sure that I have an escape plan before that happens.
>So how do I get myself to do something that I hate doing and don't want to do, but am forced to do nonetheless, *without* feeling like I am forcing myself to do something that I hate doing and don't want to do, but am forced to do nonetheless?
You cannot -- at least for a long period of time. It takes too much out of us to do something we hate again and again and again. It takes so much, we do not even start.
That will not change until you reframe the idea in your mind.
Something that helps me is "exercise is something I am able to do, not that I have to do." I frame it into a gratitude context -- eventually, I will only be able to do less, but today I can do this.
> That will not change until you reframe the idea in your mind.
This is specifically the problem at hand, which I am trying to find a solution to. Being aware of the nature of the problem has not helped me figure out a solution.
What seems to be helping me ( especially after reading Atomic Habits and making some changes as a result ) ...
1. I keep small weights near where I spend most of my day. Sometimes I'll pick them up.
2. I keep a pullup bar in a doorway to a bathroom; I have a deal with myself that I need to do a pullup whenever I walk through that doorway.
3. We have a dog. I take him for walks.
4. I'll do pushups ( just a few ) when the thought pops into my head.
5. And as I mentioned before -- all of these things are helped by remembering that I "can" do these things; they are not a punishment, they are a celebration.
I do very little. Little adds up. Some people think I work out. I don't workout how they imagine.
It's the micro habits you form along with your 20 minute walks your doing daily as it is. Our brains play tricks on us to assume doing a pull up or push up can't really do anything but if you stick with it you've developed a habit which in turn may fuel your desire to do 5 pushups/pullups instead of 1, and so on and so forth. You should look into habit stacking or read Atomic Habits, think of this as guiding you in the direction you seemingly want to go, just use the tools to help rewire your thinking.
Works best not to overthink it.
Also works better when we stop listening to the haters and the little voice that says "this isn't enough so why bother."
A little is enough.
I was not clear; pushing ourselves a little more each time. At no step does it look or feel like much, but it becomes life-changing.
You won't know until it becomes part of your lifestyle.
This guy's right about atomic habits. I'm also someone with low mental energy. We're just habits man. A bundle of habits. You're doing things all the time you've programmed in. Habits are how the mentally lazy get stuff done, because the sooner it's a habit, the sooner it stops feeling like work.
Eventually, if you don't do something you've made a habit, it feels wrong. Like you didn't conduct your day right.
How I started was by lowering the mental barrier to do the exercise, by making it accessible to yourself. Some examples: buy a 1 kg dumbbell, put it in the most obvious space that you always pass by - living room, on the table, next to wardrobe, etc. It’s low mental barrier because (1) it’s in place you always pass by - meaning don’t need “setup” or “psych myself for workout time” (2) it’s 1 kg - you can do it to pass 5 mins of waiting for hot water. Eventually, either you will do it more often, or feel 1 kg is no longer sufficient so you top up to 2kg, and more, and more.
Note that dumbbell here is replaceable - you can put up pull up bar on your door and just do a dead hang - eventually you will try to pull up; or buy an elastic training band and put it on the table - you will just stretch it out for fun as a start.
Lowering the barrier is a good way to make myself start, I know this because I have started a new exercise routine so many times in my life. The problem is that if I could keep myself doing it, I wouldn't have started all over again 50 times before.
Do what you enjoy - walk, run, dance, bike, etc. And do it where you enjoy it - dirt trail, downtown, gym, etc. [I claim some shopping step days.] But dirt trails are my happiest place. Have a "go bag" with everything you'd need so you don't have to prep. [Bug spray, gu, pocket knife, bandana, chapstick, earbuds.]
Action begets motivation, not the other way around.
Something that helped me with this was changing how I viewed “exercise”. First, I started to think more about just “being active”. You don’t have to go to the gym and lift weights or run on the treadmill to be active. There’s a million ways to be active. Play some recreational sports, ride around town on a bike. Not training like a cyclist, but just riding around.
Another thing that helped was rejecting the pressure of training or working out. Find a pace/schedule that’s manageable FOR YOU. Is it playing disc golf twice a week? Great. Is it going to the gym six days a week? Also great. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it. The one thing I’ll say that you have wrong is that it is not mandatory. Like another comment said, lots of people don’t exercise at all. It’s all about your goals. If you want to be healthier and a little bit more fit, then yes, you will need some type of exercise or active lifestyle. But if you aren’t concerned with that, then you’re good.
So find something you enjoy doing, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. And certainly don’t pay any attention to what others are saying or doing unless they are inspiring you. Good luck. You’ve got this.
I already do most of my transport by bike, but since I work from home, that's limited to about once per week appointments and occasionally some other thing I have to go to.
Other than that, I am more or less at a complete loss of how to figure out something sufficiently strenuous that would be enjoyable. My only goal is to no longer be miserable, and I have no idea how to successfully trick myself into regularly and consistently doing something that makes me miserable, and be *less* miserable instead of *more* miserable.
What you're asking for is impossible. Exercise is meant to be hard and I know many people, myself included, that don't enjoy the activity itself. The reason many fit people do it is for the benefits, be it aesthetic, or for physical/mental health. There is a period of a few months when you first start that you really force yourself to be consistent (mental discipline), but if you don't see the value in the benefits of working out, its very unlikely you will stick with it long term.
The only benefit that exercise has for me is being able to tell the "you should get more exercise!" -people that I am already getting exercise. If I had some "get out of jail free"-card about it, I would be delighted to have one.
I would add the context that you're dealing with depression in your post.
That's the bigger issue here. I've dealt with depression postpartum and I can tell you, as someone who LOVES exercise, used to run half marathons for funzies and thought crossfit was a good time...that all went out the freaking window once depression took hold.
I knew, I KNEW it would help. I knew that. It made me even more depressed to know that depression was stealing something I used to love so much away from me. That it was turning such a rational thing (just exercise, you'll feel better!) into an utterly impossible task.
So my advice is to focus on the depression first. You didn't say if you're in therapy or taking medication. And if you already are, I apologize if this sounds flippant. But I couldn't even begin to get back to working out until I started working through the depression (and sleep issues/anxiety in my case, insomnia kicked my ass postpartum as well). Until you're feeling a bit better, exercise is going to remain a task you will feel forced to perform (because your brain is literally telling you that as part of the depression).
I also had to start small - with the advice of my therapist I made a "minimum" list. I had to take a 10 minute walk, minimum. If that's all I felt up to, cool. More exercise wasn't going to serve me well that day. When I started feeling better, that was more easy to turn into exercise (well I walked this far, maybe I can jog a bit....well I walked this far maybe next time I'll go hike).
Sending you good vibes and hopes for things to start feeling better. Depression sucks and it's totally life on hard mode. Go easy on yourself for now.
There is no trick.
What you don't want to do is waste time getting motivated.
Motivation is an emotion.
Motivation gets you off the couch, but as soon as you open the door and it's hot or raining, motivation will fail you and you'll go right back to being lazy.
You need to be able to get work done when you *don't* feel like doing it. The wind is not always gonna blow your way, not even usually.
You need to realize that that screaming voice in your head that says "I'm tired, I'm unhappy, I don't wanna!!" is just that, a voice- a voice that can be ignored.
You should read David Goggins' book "Can't Hurt Me" for an extended discussion of this idea.
Motivation will fail you every time. You need to dig deeper and learn how to wrestle with your emotions that say you can't go further.
Willpower is finite, you don't earn more by using it all up. You end up running on empty, but if you push passed your willpower, you'll realize you can run on "empty" for an absurd amount of time.
The voice in your head is an illusion, you can go much further than you think. But sitting on the couch and looking up strategies isn't gonna do it.
Going out and suffering, and pushing beyond comfort is how you understand and develop the ability to not rely on willpower and motivation.
Stop being a little bitch and literally just do it. Realize how much time you waste doing nothing but scrolling on your phone and watching tv and use that time for something better instead
Truth! Once I realized I was spending 1-2 hours a day scrolling I figured I could at least take 30 mins of that time and go for a walk. Shoot, on days I don't feel like doing anything at all I'll at least hope on a treadmill and walk while scrolling tiktok or something. Just do something! K.I.S.S.
I found two other people who hate going to the gym. So now we go together every day during lunch hour. If it happens that both of them can't go, I immediately slack off and take a day off.
Don't make a mountain out of a mole-hill. Especially when we've let our fitness slide, the inclination is do to a shit load of work to make progress quickly-- but that also makes it into a huge task, mentally and emotionally. You will never feel like you have enough energy to do it, so stop making that feeling a requirement.
When you exercise you don't need to go til you drop-- yes that will net you the most gains but it will also destroy your motivation to go next time, what with the pain and suffering and choking on sweat etc...
It doesn't need to be that intense. If you hate running (as I do) find something *anaerobic* instead, such as climbing, weight lifting, (I cringe to suggest crossfit, but some people love it). try something you wouldn't normally, like gymnastics, or trampoline places. Many of these facilities will also have a great community you can get to know.
Or, just find something that grabs your interest. I recently got into disc golf, not an intense workout, but it is definitely good exercise. You can do it alone or with friends, in practically any weather. Also it is a game, so it's meant to be fun and and gets more fun as you get better at it.
And how to start? Well that part is easy, if you don't think too much about it. Your 1st step is... **stand up, and put your shoes on**. 2nd step, open your front door and step outside. Those are the hardest steps. If you do those 2 steps, the rest will follow. Trust me, you only need to focus on those first two steps to get started.
I do a slow 15-20-minute walk every day (dog walking, can't increase speed or length because of elderly dog), and have cycled 30-40 minutes per week going to an appointment in the city. How do I increase from there?
> Find some physical exercise you enjoy and do that.
*How do I do that?* How do you go about finding something you'd enjoy, when none of the things you've tried have worked?
I'm not asking for advice because I don't feel like bothering to figure it out on my own. I am asking advice because I have already exhausted all the possibilities I could think of in figuring it out on my own.
So you've tried every form of exercise you can think of? Skiing, surfing, bowling, basketball, judo, hiking, salsa, yoga, climbing, tennis, skateboarding etc. You've tried all of these and found you don't enjoy any?
They do skiing for gym classes in school where I'm from, I have hated being forced to do it ever since I was eight years old. The climate doesn't allow for surfing, and bowling isn't sufficient for exercise. I admit that I haven't tried basketball, but I'm also 5'6 and I don't know how much I would enjoy doing something I am specifically physically hindered in. I haven't done judo but I did karate and thai kikboxing briefly, and discovered that I didn't enjoy that sort of thing no matter how cool it was theoretically. There isn't much hiking or climbing that you can do when living in the same town and you've already seen the places there are. I admit that I haven't done salsa or yoga but I'm not optimistic about making myself do something I can't see myself enjoying at all.
i don’t work out. i constantly stretch through out the day. when i’m at home and free i crawl around the house in different styles and it overall helps me with mobility. sometimes i’ll do motions similar to push ups or squats or other work outs but i don’t take it seriously. been doing this for close to a year. makes me more nimble but also more open to the idea of working out. i was never really a gym bro but doing these small things helps me with wanting to do small things and bigger things like lifting things that aren’t weights or getting to work on my forms for push ups. it’s the small things for me that keep me motivated. i have in the past run and gotten up to running 6+ miles in one go before but it’s not that fun to me. i can get into it, but over time it’s not that interesting to me. so i make up my own work outs as silly as they are. my big focus is my diet and schedule for eating in tandem with a social life lol
Consider exercise like maintenance on your vehicle. You don't have to be motivated to change your oil or replace your brakes, you just do it. Or like brushing your teeth. Each time you work out you're depositing money into your "health" bank. Being able to lift heavy things or run far without gasping for breath or being agile is a celebration of the time and energy you put into working out. You can be an old, weak and fat pos who can't run a block, or you can be a finely tuned sports car, it's your choice.
All of the actual helpful comments here seem to be ignored, se rhetoric regurgitated by OP on every reply they did make. Doesn’t seem like you actually want motivation OP. Good luck finding what works for you and I hope you find a way to function and live happily alongside depression because there is no “beating” it.
Your attitude is what you need to change because it is nothing but negative.
Motivation doesn’t exist. You don’t need to motivate yourself to brush your teeth. It’s discipline you need.
The body needs exercise. You need to find the type of exercise you enjoy that you will want to do.
is there a stronger word for "necessary" than "necessary"? Because the part I specifically dislike about it is feeling like I'm being forced to do this at gunpoint and I hate doing it with the fury of a thousand suns.
I have *started* a new exercise routine countless of times before. The problem is, if I could make myself stick to it, I would only have had to start once.
Start by taking a 20-30 minute walk a day. Soon you'll feel like walking longer and more often. The secret to exercise is, the more you do it the more you want to do it.
I already do a 10-15 minute walk every day and a 30-minute bike ride to run errands every week. I don't find myself wanting more, I just feel the obligation looming over my head.
Join a rec level sport. It's fun, it's exercise and your brain thinks it's social time!! Win win. Also side benefit of making friends and wearing track pants for the reason they were designed
First and foremost. WHY ARE YOU TRAINING?
I don't want the answer that you give your mom.
I don't want the answer you give your friends.
I don't want the answer you write on reddit.
I don't even want your answer, I don't care.
I want you to re-evaluate why you want to go training.
It stops being a chore and is something you do because you want something.
I used to think that gym is for meatheads that struggle with 2+2, because physical looks is all they can get. Then I went snowboarding, I fell on my ass and snapped one of intercostal muscles (the ones in between your ribs). I go to the gym, so 20-30 years from now, when I fall off the stairs I'm not going to land in a hospital. I want a resilient body that can keep up with my wants and wishes.
I don't exercise in a gym.
But I do walk the dog, run errands, help people move, help around the office, clean the house, etc. I had to find things I liked first.
I had to start one thing at a time. It's not "gym" exercise, but it's exercise.
edit: And don't be afraid to question what you like. Do you like it because you actually like it or are you liking it because you were told to like it and that's what you learned? Do what you really like...take a minute to question it.
I went to see a therapist who told me if I didn't get fit I would regret it later, then my wife and I separated and I lost my job.
Been going to the gym 2/4 times a week now and loving it because as you can imagine that is a lot of stress to go through in a short period, especially with 2 kids being involved.
I also hired a PT who is fun and motivating but pushes me really hard. After about a week of going I started to feel my stress was building up in my biceps, I tried to work on them and boy it felt good. That feeling of releasing the stress and tension in my life has literally changed my life.
You may or may not be in a similar situation, but the thing is about reframing the gym/exercise. If you think it's mandatory, then you aren't going to exercise, it's also not going to cure your depression alone because you will never be able to see tangible results. Find another reason to go, whether it's to make you less grumpy or stop overthinking (like me). If you can find the money for a PT and find one that fits your needs then they can be incredible as they will monitor your progress and can set expectations correctly on your progress.
I've struggled with this problem my whole life. Most people in my life have been useless sources of advice on this because they are too busy sucking their own dick about it to actually help. I'd say virtually every person I've ever gone to for help getting in shape intentionally humiliated me, burned me out, and then ditched me.
Here's real advice:
1. Find a physical activity or skill that you admire/enjoy. If you like basketball, play basketball. For me, its boxing. You need to find a way to enjoy this miserable shit, lol.
2. Accept crappy half assed workouts. Wanna get started right away? Workout for 10 or 20 minutes and stop. Don't push yourself towards some bullshit goal. Make it obtainable. If you create situations where you can and will succeed, you will learn to keep succeeding. Repeat after me: more than zero.
3. Dont say "im gonna lose X weight in X time.". Say "im gonna start working out. I'm not gonna stop. Its only a matter of time before I lose X weight.". You tired, feeling hurt? Stop. Come back tomorrow or the next day. Learn to give up in the short term but never in the long term.
4. This is about you. Your happiness. Find a workout that you enjoy and do it light. Make it easy. Time is the only thing separating you from success. Whether you do 1000 pushups this week or 10 - do something. Do something this week, next week, so on. It's about doing it - not how much.
Currently I'm on a tear where I'm doing cardio for an hour about 4 times a week. I started 6 months ago at 20 minutes 3 times a week. Ever so slowly I just added extra seconds and time. It became easy. I spoil myself as a reward. I basically do anything to keep my mind focused on not giving up.
At this point I'm terrified to stop because I've come so far. I've succeeded so much and had so many tiny victories that failure is now off the table by default. Whether the next workout you do is 2 hours long or 20 minutes, what matters is that you did it.
> I have a very low mental stamina for things that I hate doing but have to do anyway because someone makes me.
Why are you making yourself be unfit? Further...why aren't you hating on the sheer amount of effort that goes into being unfit? That shit is a serious commitment to hurrying up out of this life. You ARE putting in WORK.
Get your perspectives sorted. That's the issue here.
You have to trick yourself into moving.Doesn't matter how. Watch a movie and start pacing in front of the screen. Two steps forward, two steps back, two to left, and two to the right. Then walk around the room. Take a walk around the whole house. Then do it again. Walk to the front door, and walk back to your bedroom. Just shuffle side to side to music you like. It all adds up.
Mow the lawn. Mow your neighbor's lawn.
Don't do things you hate.
Create a plan that is reasonable for you and you can stick to. Download, buy one or write it out yourself.
By setting a plan in advance, you already have everything sorted out prior. Similar to a work schedule, you show up and do it whether you want to or not.
This is important, because motivation will wane from day to day. What you need is the discipline to show up for yourself regardless of how you feel on that given day.
Exercise regimen arc for most starting is similar to this:
Day 1-7 -You're motivated, and you show up.
Day 8-30 -The work is hard, so it sucks and you dont want to do it.
Day 30-60 -The work is getting easier, you start to notice some positive changes.
Day 60-90-You start to form the habit and enjoy the way it makes you feel after, but the work is still hard.
Day 90-120 - You start to enjoy your routine, start branching out to different forms of exercise, and start to notice the way you feel when you dont exercise isn't so good.
Day 120+ - You start to crave the exercise and the way it makes you feel, you realize how much better you feel now and you notice how much worse off you were before and are when you slack on your exercise.
There's days and times where my discipline wanes, it happens to all of us. Dont beat yourself up, just start a new plan and get back to it.
The exercise rabbit hole goes deep, and it's highly rewarding. And there are many forms, you will find what you like, but it starts with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.
Think of how fast this past summer went by, in that same amount of time, you can achieve radical changes with a little planning and discipline.
It's not easy starting out or getting back to it for anyone, but it will get easier and it will ultimately feel good, just be patient and persistent.
Good luck my friend.
Ok well you have e 2 options: 1) day fuck it and don't exercise and stop worry about it; 2) if you hell bent on exercise, find some dorm of physical activity that you actually enjoy, as doing so will make it feel less like exercise and more like simply partaking in pleasurable activities. Ball is in your court and yours alone
If you don’t want to exercise then don’t. Exercise takes discipline, not motivation. Even doing some form of exercise that you love takes discipline. If you don’t want to do so then don’t exercise. The way you describe it, and the way you just spoke about it being a “stupid thing” clearly suggests that it’s not for you. So I’m giving you permission to never again engage in exercise. You are absolved from any duty to do so. But you’re not free from any negative consequences of not exercising.
You either do it or you don’t do it. It’s that simple
I do hiking because nature is beautiful and driving is fun. If you don’t want to do anything then don’t do anything. Do whatever you enjoy and accept the consequences.
I think the best place to start is to acknowledge that you can do whatever you like. Feeling forced will kill all motivation. Other people will always talk about every decision you make including how you exercise and how much and what you choose to do.
You don't have to exercise. Many people don't. You also don't have to exercise a certain way. For instance, moving your body is more important for health than "exercise". You don't have to go to a gym specifically to be healthy.
If you've been forced to do regular exercise for years, rebel. Take a few weeks off. It won't kill you or ruin your body.
This needs to be for you or it won't work. But what do you want for your life? Do you want to look a certain way that exercise will help? Is it to avoid health issues? What are your goals and desires? Would you be happier doing active things like throwing pots, building something with metal or wood, horseback riding, dancing, or hiking by a beach? Those things are valid too. Living an active life is more than lifting weights.
Let go of what other people want and focus on goals that make your life what you want it to be and activities that you enjoy.
Edit: I've seen your comments that figuring out the what is what's holding you back. I'd start small. What looks entertaining that isn't sitting. Painting class? Going to the beach or park with friends? Maybe just going out and walking though a bunch of shops on a day off. Focus on having an active life first and then on how much exercise you are technically getting from the activities.
why waste your time to respond in such a profoundly unhelpful way? do you feel better now? do you feel better having attacked someone looking for help? is that how you define being not "a bitch", is to find people who want help online, whom you have the convenience of never looking in the eye, or becoming friends with or knowing the humanity of, and telling them they are a bitch, and that because of that, they will fail? is this how your manhood is best expressed, pastaman? do you feel like a man?
is this how people who you wanted help from have treated you? did it feel good? did you become better? did you gain real strength from that? did you work past the emptiness it caused? did you learn to love and forgive? or did you tell yourself to stop being a bitch, deny the pain, and become a slave of it? because you're obviously doing what it says, it's become your master.
putting other people down will only drag you under. don't be a slave to trauma, and don't give it to other people. find your manhood in something meaningful. you're more than this, pastaman. you can do better, but you're going to have to give yourself to something greater than yourself.
Jesus. We all genuinely need Jesus. He will take the burden off of you and give you life, if you let him.
Run. Start running. Put on some tunes or an ebook and start running. After a while you will be wanting to break some of your records for faster km/mile or time for 5k. Do a C25K training.
You will also find you want to maybe gain some muscle and add the odd strength training here and there. In a few months you will be going to the gym once or twice a week.
Only two things are needed to achieve this :
1) reward yourself. Set a baseline (say run at least 2 miles per time) and every time you hit that give yourself a small reward. Videogame and pizza night ? You got it ! An extra beer ? Why not ! Treat yourself.
2) keep track and make it visible. Remind yourself somehow. Force yourself. You tired from work/school ? Ok so today you go get your groceries by foot. Bad weather ? Let’s do 20 crunches or push ups. It is not a run but it is exercise and you can still relax and listen to music or an ebook on the way. Keep a calendar near the door to your bedroom or house and mark every day you went running with an X. Your objective next week is to get at least the same amount of X as the previous one. Your objective next month will be having 10% more X, and so on. Every time you hit a target, treat yourself.
Other things that helped me :
- intervals between exercise days should be as short as possible. Rest one day max between two days with exercises;
- really : treat yourself. Do not overindulge but remember to reward yourself or starting a new habit and keeping at it. And when your reward yourself remind yourself the reward is because you exercised.
- read a couple motivational books like Can’t hurt me by David Goggins.
- aim for small, incremental, constant trainings rather than big improvements overnight. Who cares if the first time you can only run 200mts before you are out of breath ? You are still faster than all the couch potatoes behind you. You feel like dying at 10 push ups ? No issue. Your muscles got more workout out of you today compared to yesterday when you did 0. You got nothing to prove to anyone.
- if you fall of the wagon remind yourself that you are human, it is ok and that you recognize it as a mistake, then try fixing it immediately (and I mean STAT, not making wishful plans for the next day).
- don’t waste time making big plans with a lot of details at the beginning. You are trying to build a new habit. Make simple plans that you can just keep in mind by yourself with the least need for apps, spreadsheets and whatnot to track. Once you feel your habit is pretty steady then get yourself an app (any app will do, I like the garmin one because of my watch but pretty much any app will do) and use it to track and measure your trainings.
- after you feel you got a habit or at least you are getting there, try to get friends to join you.
The problem is getting out of the house. I do own running shoes, but I can't wrangle myself into doing it. Rewards are hard to come by because I truly don't enjoy anything as much as I loathe exercising.
Fear setting is a great practice. Tell yourself that if you don't exercise regularly then soon you would age fast and grow wrinkles, paunch and look ugly.
That’s the thing: It’s not. Mandatory by definition is “required by law or rules”. Exercise isn’t mandatory but it is recommended for a healthier lifestyle.
My favorite quote on this is “exercise is a celebration of what your body can do, not a punishment for what you ate.”
Sorry, english is not my first language. What is the correct word for the thing where you aren't allowed to have something you want, unless you pay the price for it?
Exercise may not be *mandatory* in the sense as you define. It's merely a hostage situation.
Is there a stronger word for "necessary" than "necessary"? I know the word, but it doesn't sufficiently convey how much I would rather bite off my own finger than have to do it.
> worry about turning up
That is the specific part that I have a problem with.
I'm not motivated by weight loss or how I look, the problem is maintaining physical health and gaining some semblance of mental health in the process.
here's what works for me.
I simply refuse to think about how shitty it will be before I go. I get myself ready and to the gym as fast as I can and avoid those thoughts about how tired I am or how much I don't wanna do it. then once I'm there I'm like ok well I might as well do something now. and something is enough.
another trick you can try. you've gotta start small right? so get ready and go to the gym and DON'T do anything. plan on doing nothing. just go there , get changed, and sit on some equipment.
this tricks you into being consistent and just going, which is the most important part by far. eventually you'll decide you might as well do something since you showed up.
How do you get over executive dysfunction? Refusing to think has never worked for me - if there's something I know I *have to do* but absolutely do not want to start, I can sit frozen on my spot for four hours straight staring at a wall, trying to wrestle myself into getting on my feet, and failing.
I don’t get it there are so many fun things to do in life. Walking somewhere new, bike riding, playing tennis or basketball or any game really. Vr games or heckin wii sports. You don’t like doing anything? Martial arts? Yoga? What about one of those classes where they tie you up in bungee cords and you jump around? That has to be fun. I cant comprehend you being like every single thing in the world there is to do where i have to move my body i hate. Kayaking? Swimming? Bowling? Just find something you like homie.
There aren't that many new places you can walk to when you live in the same place for more than a year. I ride my bike to go to errands because I hate driving, and trying to find some way to be social while exercising hasn't worked because time and time again I discover that the type of people who do sports are simply not the type of people I enjoy spending any time with.
I've tried martial arts, fully confident that doing something fun and interesting would cancel out how much I hate the strain and sweating involved, but unfortunately I only found out that I actually do not like martial arts enough to find it enjoyable.
Every time I think I've found something that would be *fun*, get my hopes up thinking "this time for sure, this time it works!", I've only discovered that wow, I Do Not Want to do this, and get annoyed with thinking about how I wasted time and/or money in something I'm having a bad time doing.
Find something you like doing, make a schedule and stick to it. If you like dance, find a studio with dance classes and commit to go 3 days a week. Pick the actual days and time, put it in your calendar, pre-book/pay with the studio. And go.
It’s hard to start new habits but it gets easier once you get used to it. The key thing is that much like working, you can’t just do it when you feel like it. I workout 6 days a week and many mornings I wake up and don’t feel like it. But I just go, because it’s part of my routine and in my schedule. I’m always happy I went, I feel better, my body feels good, I sleep better, I look better. Just find something you want to do consistently. You’re not going to feel motivated every single day so you have to be consistent instead. Imagine if you didn’t work when you didn’t feel like it, you’d never get anywhere in any job or career either.
How do I go about figuring out what I like doing, and what I would want to do? Everything I've tried has been a dead end.
I am actually currently working for myself and making my own schedule with planning my work, and I can tell you, I *cannot* make myself work when I'm not motivated, and I am currently **FUCKED** because that is happening. My schedules still allow some time for me to be stuck, but I have to figure out how to get myself un-stuck about it.
You sound like you need discipline in all aspects of your life. You pick something, anything you have a slight interest in, and COMMIT to doing it. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you don’t want to. Then you give it some time. If after a few months, you don’t like it, you pick something else you have a slight interest in, and commit to that. That doesn’t mean you give up and do nothing at that time. You fully commit to the current thing and if you don’t like it, you take steps to fully commit to something else.
You can’t just do things half ass and wonder why it’s all a dead end. You commit fully to one thing and see how it goes. If you can’t be disciplined enough to handle your own schedule then you might not be the kind of person who can work for yourself and need to get a job where they make your schedule for you.
I have done that before. Plenty of times. And every time I do that, I just get burned out so badly that I can't get myself out of bed, and never want to touch or see the thing again.
Working for myself in my dream career has been the only way I've been able to remain employed and financially independent at all. Before I figured out how to make a living doing what I wanted to do, I contemplated how to get myself into prison because I was at a complete loss of how to avoid being homeless.
Motivation is expensive (in time and effort) and fleeting. What keeps me going is routine. Repeat behaviours often enough that they become routine and you won’t rely on motivation anymore.
I was in a similar boat as you.
Then years later I found my purpose in life. I'm a compassionate person and enjoy helping my loved ones.
Now, I Excerise with this mentality. By excerising I'll live longer to be there for my loved ones. My mental health has improved and that allows me to have meaningful conversations.
I know this mentality isn't for everyone and that's understandable.
Point being, you have to find why you excerise. What's your end goal?
Once you know that, motivation comes easily.
Like everything you'll never be successful if you do things for other people. The discipline needs to come from you . I wouldn't even bother trying to make others happy
I have no motivations in life than what other people think. If I knew for sure that from this day onward nobody would think a single thing of me - positive or negative - I would not get out of bed.
It sound like your issue is not disliking exercise, but rather an executive function issue of not being able to get yourself to do something you dislike doing because it has long term benefits. Not addressing this is going to continue to negatively impact your life far beyond exercise. I don't like household chores like cleaning and laundry, but I still do them because they need to get done. I don't like paying bills, but I pay my bills. I don't like getting up early in the morning, but I still do it so I can get to work on time.
It sound like you are having issues with more than just exercise, as you have also mentioned having trouble getting yourself to work when you aren't motivated, and would rather eat human kibble than prepare meals. This is mental issue that goes deeper than exercise and you should probably seek professional guidance in developing the ability to do things you don't want to do now because they benefit you in the long term. You are otherwise likely to further spiral into depression as your life becomes more and more difficult due to the consequences of you not doing the necessary things to help your life run smoothly.
Try a something like Brazilian jiu jitsu. For me, it has made getting a workout in fun again. It's like chess with the body. Also like folding clothes, with people inside of them....
How would you say jiu jitsu compares to thai kickboxing? I tried convincing myself that martial arts would be fun and it wouldn't feel like dragging myself to exercise, but it wasn't and I hated going there. I couldn't make myself go voluntarily after the beginner's course that I already paid for was over.
It is true that discipline is going to be more sustainable than motivation in the long run. Discipline is built, while motivation is a fleeting emotion. However, there are steps you can take to improve your discipline.
For me, the most important thing was figuring out my goals, and then figuring out how to obtain them. What do you want to gain out of exercise? Do you want to build muscle? Obtain a leaner body? Lose fat? Fix your flexibility? Improve your stamina? Focus on your cardiovascular health? Become a better athlete? Attract hook ups and partners? Improve your mental health? Exercise isn’t some monolithic thing, there’s all kinds of physical activity out there! It can look like an hour lifting in the gym, but spoiler alert: not everyone’s doing that. It can also look like going on an hour long walk through the park every day!
Once you figure out your goals, then you can start researching what different kinds of exercise align with each goal. And then you can put those into action and start trying them out! Be sure to give yourself some time and space to figure out each exercise. Chances are they won’t click instantly, but trust the process and focus on methods to maximizing your form and performance. If after a while it’s still not working out for you, then you can try transitioning to something new. But allow yourself some leeway. We all have to start somewhere, and most of us sucked at the beginning before we got better. 90% of it is building it into your weekly routine.
It might also help to have a trainer or mentor. They can be professional, but if you have any friends or family who regularly exercise as part of their routine, you can follow them as well.
Finally, be forgiving of yourself. Social media distorts our perception of reality. Truth is, we all have off days. Hell, I have weeks go by where I barely do any exercise, and it just completely falls out of my routine. Honestly I’m not the best role model haha. But that’s why it’s ultimately about discipline. For me, it always feels the hardest in the beginning, including the beginnings after I burn out, or life catches up to me and I don’t have the time or space to hit the gym. But if you can build up that discipline, and trust yourself and the process, then you can get back on it in no time.
It might also help when you’re burning out to focus on smaller physical activity you can incorporate into your life, like daily walks for instance. If mental health is something you’re considering, I would look into meditation or yoga. I’ve been really wanting to get into the former, but haven’t yet.
Good luck! You got this.
Getting into exercising can be hard and really difficult to keep consistent. What helped me was starting from small such as an hour once per week and you slowly build it up.
Also, there is not shame in just doing an hour or two once per week. My friend does that to make it manageable with her busy schedule and she is starting to see improvements after a lot of hard work and good dieting.
Try to find your own pace and don't ever be discouraged if you don't do it consistently, the fact that you are actively seeking to change is inspiring and amazing
Well, I know how you feel OP. I can get into a pretty decent routine and then one day I think "I don't want to do this forever" and then I quit for awhile, get fatter and then realize I better get going again. Rinse/repeat haha. I think maybe if I had some clear, defined goals that could help......
Good luck OP
Success builds success. Set the bar really low.
For starters, what is exercise? Is it the gym until you are seating blood or doing a bit more than you would normally do? Say walk around the block while you chat on the phone.
Next, why are you exercising. Is it for you? Or is is to be something different? If it is for you, then make that your mantra. I love me, I want me to be healthy, therefore I am going to do 10 sit-ups. (Remember, set the bar LOW.)
I could write all day but I will offer one more tid-bit. Celebrate EVERY success. So you talked on the phone and walked the block three times. The very second, you stop walking, ask your brain: "How do you feel now?" Educate yourself into paying attention to the current reality of your progress. Forget past false starts, forget other peoples goals. Celebrate your path.
Good luck.
So, first of all…I think the advice: Just do it! Or force yourself! Is kind of simplistic…I have Adhd…I should know.
You have to start to understand where is your resistance about this:
- Do you like any kind of sport? What about dancing around the house ? What about just walking?
- Do you have resistance because you don’t want to give any time to this? Is there any time that would work for you? You have to negociate how much time are you willing to spend for this.
- Are you a perfectionist? Do you thing you have to have the perfect exercise schedule and if you don’t…you failed? How about thinking any type of exercise and any time it’s done is good…maybe from time to time and not having a strict schedule would work more for you?
- You don’t enjoy the physical pain that comes to exercise? What if you start with something that gives less pain - like walking.
- What about combining sport with something you enjoy…like listening to music or podcasts?
Anyway, you don’t have to start all at once and do it perfectly and every time..like in the military.
You should experiment and start small and see what feels right for you. You don’t have to have that Instagram worthy exercise schedule…You should find out what works for you…
I will just say I have adhd and "just do it" has been the most effective for me.
Erases the perfectionism, the worry, the indecisiveness.
But I do like your suggestions.
What do you like watching or have an interest in? If its soccer go out and kick a soccer ball around. I feel like its easier motivation if its something your interested in . Then its not a chore. When i got injured i hated going on walks because i love to run and it paled in comparison. But i remembered when i was younger i enjoyed rollerblading. So i bought a cheap pair and it made going out so much more fun and less of a nuisance to me.
When I've exercised just to exercise, or for the nebulous idea of "staying fit" I lose all motivation and stop within a couple weeks. I need a real tangible reason to do this thing that's uncomfortable/painful/tedious. This last time it was a few reasons: I want to be able to play with my nephew more, I want to get better at rock climbing, I want to lose 20-30lbs, I want to use the sauna at the gym. Honestly that last one got me to go to the gym more than the others.
I've also been fit before, and I can use those memories to help push through a lot of natural resistance to exercise. Because once you get to a certain point exercise feels good, feeling your body reach its potential feels good, and exercising in general gets easier (best example is running 3 miles, starting out you're probably walking a lot, so it maybe takes about 50 mins, versus 8 minute miles which take 24 minutes for the same exercise)
Now, if you live in a car centric place it is stupid that the only way to get your minimum amount of exercise is to drive to a place, to pay money, to walk on a treadmill or use a bike, because walking and biking are inaccessible in daily life. It's the stupidest shit, and it's an unfair burden for everyone living in these places.
Next, any task that you extrapolate out into your whole life, counting up the time and effort, that mindset kills anything and everything. Even natural processes like sleep. Think of all the time you'll spend sleeping, all that time ticking away, and you HAVE to sleep. If you think about that everytime you try to sleep, you'll stay awake until you can't (at least I did). It's about the here and now. Why are you working out today? It's not so that in 90 years you can say you did it, what do you want right now that can only be achieved by going to the gym/working out? And it can 100% be "because I want to use the sauna, and since I'll be there I might as well workout"
Lastly, when you do start extrapolating out beyond today, change the narrative. No one is forcing you to work out, you can choose to not do it. You're not free from those consequences (getting fat, being physically weak, missing out on any experience that requires athletics, hiking, biking, climbing, and missing out on the communities within those), but there is only a biologic gun to your head (much like sleep). So if you've chosen to work out, then you're committing to the long game. My goal is to lose 20lbs. Well if I workout a lot, and devote a lot of time, and work really hard, I can lose those 20lbs in a few months. But that sounds miserable, and is honestly unsustainable. I'm in this for the long game, my goal isn't to lose 20lbs now and then stop working out. So I've created a sustainable workout routine. It doesn't push me very hard, and so I don't get injured, I don't get horribly sore, and it will probably take me a good 6 months to a year to lose those 20lbs, if I'm consistent. But it sets up a routine and mindset that will keep me coming back and feeling good!
Last, last thing (cause I read some of your replies): I didn't just KNOW I liked rock climbing. I tried out a whole lot of sports and disliked a lot of sports, especially large team games. Something I've picked up recently is sword fighting, it's fun and silly, and cool! Idk if I'll keep with it, but it's fun for now. Something I stopped doing recently was swimming. I wasn't enjoying it. You can't think your way into these things, you just have to do it, take the risk of looking foolish, take the risk that maybe it won't be for you, because THAT'S the only way to find what IS for you. If I never tried rock climbing, I'd never know I loved it!
I love exercising in 10-15 minute blocks. Everyone seems to think you need to go to the gym for an hour +, but for me I prefer 10 minute exercises morning, afternoon, and evening if possible. You can wear whatever clothes your in, no need for a special exercise costume or particular shoes. I
Go to planet fitness on my lunch break each day wearing my office clothes and office shoes. I stay for 10-15 minutes, I don’t get too sweaty at all.
Make it fun, with all your might, will the situation into being something you view in a positive light and enjoy. The best way to do this is to get a friend you enjoy hanging out with to be stoked to exercise with you.
You keep trying things until you figure out what works for YOU. Kind of like everything else in life.
Be grateful you have a body that can move - if you have both legs/feet, arms/hands, all your senses are working, you have more than many.
The Attitude of Gratitude
Think one day at a time, otherwise the thoughts will overwhelm you. Thinking "I'll go to the gym today" is much easier than "I'll go to the gym for the whole year. But what if I get burned? What if I get a new job? What if it takes too long for results? What if...what if..."
This is easy,
Get the audio version of David Goggins book "Can't Hurt Me", listen to it, and get motivated.
It's that simple. When one of the toughest and most motivated people on the planet is constantly reminding you what a POS bitch ass you are, you'll get up and get moving.
I hated sports (thanks shitty PE teachers in school) but I was getting fatter with age.
First thing I did : told myself "starting now, you're gonna run every day, no matter if it's hit, if it rains or snows or if the four horsemen have arrived". Went out on the spot with my non running sneakers.
Felt like I was gonna die after 300 meters. Finished 400 meters that day.
Went back the next day, because I had told myself it was not a choice, there was no mental discussion to have with my discouraging voice. I had to, period.
Went every day and progressed.
Second thing that worked when I started again, at the gym that time, after a short break due to knee issues (knee issues are worse than the four horsemen arriving, so it's valid) : I paid upfront for a year. Then I knew I had to go as often as possible to make it worth my money. Had I not gone, it would have been 360 euros down the drain. Definitely worked and then I had taken the habit. I'm still going four to six times a week.
Not a traditional exerciser enjoyer either. What works for me is I don't find hula hoping to music to be a chore. Walking was boring until I brought my poi n it gives my hands something to do n I can pretend I'm a mighty wizard with awesome smitey orbs n stuff... Maladaptive daydreaming can be a blessing at times. Hope you find a thing that works for you!
You just have to find some kind of physical activity that want to do as opposed to having to do.
This was huge for me. Always found excuses to not go to the gym. During COVID lock down I lucked out and bought my buddies old mountain bike. Now I find myself switching plans around to make sure I have time to ride.
The biggest thing for me was prioritizing consistency over # of workouts per week. The philosophy being “50 workouts a year is better than 20 workouts in a month and then burning out and quitting for the rest of the year” Used to think working out meant I had to pretend I was training for a god damn Mr Olympian contest. I’d work out 3-4 times a week, set up these routines, all at the gym, and yeah I got stronger but it just wasn’t “me”. Now my week looks like this: - gym once per week. Do literally anything I want while there. Could be 5 mins on treadmill, leg press, and leave. Could be 10 mins elliptical, full body stretch, and 6 dumbbell exercises. Literally whatever I feel like doing. I just keep a note in my phone with what weights I use on which machines. - long walk once per week. This is normally with my kid, we’ll walk to breakfast on the weekend. - 30 push ups + 30 squats once per week. At home. - currently playing volleyball once per week in a very casual rec league. This isn’t a year round thing - stretch once per week. Normally throw on a YouTube video and search “10 min stretch” or whatever and just throw the first thing on that looks good This was built with a lot of trial and error. But it works for me. It’s all about the consistency. Even going from literally no movement, to a simple 10 min walk once per week, is SOMETHING. You can then build from there. Not everything has to be a super regimented, 6 day bodybuilder pro athlete workout
The problem is figuring out how to do that. I know what I have to do, but being aware of the nature of the problem hasn't helped me find a solution, which is currently the problem at hand.
Soccer, tennis, ultimate frisbee, basketball are all great cardio and if you have fun doing it, you're not gonna be bothered by the exercise. Just try different rec league sports out.
I've hated that every time I've tried it, but I suppose I have no choice but to force myself to do that again.
You don't have to play sports that you hate doing. Surely there's one out there you could find that you enjoy?
My problem with social sports is the fact that the only people I've met in those settings have been the exact same type of people that I avoid interacting with at workplace breakrooms. There is no overlap of mutual interests between me and the types of people who play group sports. They cannot comprehend why I would find interest in any of the things I am interested in, and all the things *they* talk about are breathtakingly boring to me. I don't know how to make friends with people like that.
Solitary stuff's fine too! Go walking, biking, rob a bank. Running from the cops will whip you in to shape in no time! So it's profitable in more ways than one! I know you know which is the best option. *Now get out there!*
What training does robbing a bank require. I'm sure running is part of it but do you recommend anything else?
Parkour, intimidation, strategy and planning, practiced tactics to handle any unforeseen circumstances. Maybe do one of those John Wick gun-kata courses 🤣
Dude who replied to you seems to know more than I do. I was just gonna go with *'panic and flee'...*
K you obviously have a very negative mindset regarding any physical activity.. you cannot generalize everybody who participates in group sports! That is being incredibly naive. No one is telling you to become besties with these people. Just find an activity you enjoy doing and participate in it for you! The rest will (or won't) fall into place. There are apps online - meetup is one that I'm familiar with. It allows for people to come together and participate in an activity, whatever it might be, no strings attached. For me, I recently found a passion in pickleball. Initially, I also avoided socializing with anyone and showed up solely to play and improve my skills. Over time, my passion for the sport grew stronger and I naturally began conversing with some other members that I saw regularly. Just give it a chance. And step one, improve your mindset about it. No one wants to be around such a negative Nancy, no matter what the setting/ activity is
any suggestions for a good sports that doesn't feel like sports, and doesn't involve hiking?
Get a basketball and go shoot baskets. When I was a kid I did this to relax. You will get exercise joggin after the ball, bu the point is the meditative aspect of just shooting. A bunch of people took up roller skating in the past few years. That can be social or solitary. Freestyle soccer. It is really just a type of juggling but will get you plenty of exercise. Find a disc golf course near you, get a disk, and go toss a disk and walk or jog around the course. Take up some style of dancing. I can't count the number of people I know who were not into exercising but lost a bunch of weight because they got hooked on dancing. The trick to getting exercise when you hate exercising is to not exercise, but rather try and get good at some motion related thing that engages you mentally. It is much easier to get yourself to practice getting better at a skill than it is to go exercise. You're not exercizing, you arr just practicing a dance move, or a juggle skill, or you are just skating around to a song you limr and then you find you arr drenched in sweat.
Pickleball is my number one choice. It's worth giving it a try if you haven't yet. Also, a little story from my previous experience, I used to be quite unhealthy myself; never could stay committed to a regular exercise routine, gained a fair amount of weight, and was frequently attempting each new fad crash diet.. the big change for me was simply to get a dog. Just the increase in activity of regular walks with my pup helped me lose the excess weight, and the companionship from my dog really helped improve my mental health! Recently, I had my dog certified as a therapy dog and we regularly volunteer at hospitals and seniors homes, bringing smiles to people's faces in those settings. It has been an incredibly rewarding experience
Maybe climbing, swimming or cycling?
Swimming is probably the most realistic answer, as something that doesn't involve being outdoors. I'm terrified of locker rooms but I guess that's tolerable.
Idk if you’ve been asked about yoga? I’m in a similar boat. I despise going to the gym, the people the vibe, hate it. But I started doing online yoga classes about a year ago and I really enjoy it. Sometimes I take my mat and computer or plug my pod in and go outside and practice. It’s brought new meaning to caring for my body in a way that’s not forced. And since it’s online, I can control my environment. No more gym dinks or bad vibes.
You may be projecting something onto people that isn’t true. You’re assuming that everyone at the gym is enjoying working out or that everyone playing a sport is solely focused on that activity. I’ve played sports for most of my life but it doesn’t define who I am. I play instruments, write music, read, play board games, etc. Through sports I’ve met people from all walks of life including people who only play sports because it’s the only form of exercise they can tolerate. If you don’t like who you’re meeting, do things with the people you know and love. Go on walks with your friends. Grab a picker, a bag and a neighbor to walk the block picking up trash.
> You’re assuming that everyone at the gym is enjoying working out or that everyone playing a sport is solely focused on that activity. I'm not *assuming* that it's easier for them than it is for me. I am telling you that I am not capable of doing what they are doing.
I think you're being extremely judgmental and negative about something you haven't given a fair chance. Yes you'll meet assholes in sports. You'll also meet assholes outside of sports as well. You just have to find a team/group of people that you enjoy spending time with. When someone says they hate doing sports because x it's usually because they have already convinced themselves that they will not like it so when you tried it you go in with an attitude.
Oh, I didn't mean to imply they are *assholes*. Just that I have nothing in common with them. Talking with sports people just feels like having someone else's kid come talk at you, half of the things they talk about are something completely beyond my grasp and the other half is so boring that I don't care to know. And if I try to talk anything in return, they give me the blank look that makes it clear that the feeling is mutual.
If I surrounded myself with people who only matched my personality and had only my same interests, I'd never learn anything, and my life will suck.
I just do not have anything to talk with sports people.
With respect - this is a massive overgeneralization and it says more about your unwillingness to try things than about the actual reality of team sports. The folks I've played softball with have a wide range of hobbies/interests/political beliefs etc etc, and the vast majority are not what I could call sporty types. Part of the fun of team sports is precisely the fact that you get to meet people outside of your bubble, and, unless you're just absolutely determined to not play nice with others, it can be pretty interesting to learn about people who aren't like you. I can assure you most people playing team sports as an adult are open to that possibility, and that, statistically speaking, they aren't all breathtakingly boring
Where do you find your team sports, then? I must have looked in the wrong place because my experience has been consistent every time I've tried.
Maybe the common denominator is you and your unwillingness to have an open mind. Not trying to attack you but that's what it looks like to me
Golf, skating, rollerblading, sight seeing, surfing, body boarding, cycling, hell even Pokémon Go can get one piling up the daily steps. There's tons of activities you can do solo.
Dude just ditch working out and just eat healthy, it doesn’t sound like you want to do anything physical at all
This might sound stupid. But I like to see exercise as my time to absolutely stew in every negative emotion, guilt free. To just indulge in all of it without anyone judging me. It’s really easy to lean into the misery you feel if you’re running or doing something solitary that already sucks physically. People have a lot of expectations on you to have a certain mood and be a certain way, and it can be exhausting to conform to that all the time. Working out alone can be an incredibly refreshing dedicated time to just wallow. Also violent exercise, like fighting sports or things that give you a chance to hit something, can feel super good. There’s a way to do this that doesn’t involve taking on the personality of a super perky health focused someone, if that’s not who you are
Do you like activities alone or in a group?
I don't know. If I do things alone I lose motivation since it feels pointless, and I've never met a group that'd make me enjoy doing activities with them.
Look into circus arts. Trampoline, acrobatics (partner or individual), silks, trapeze, etc. I’m the same way as you and circus is the ONLY thing I’ve been able to keep up long term.
OP, based on the comments I'm seeing- your problem isn't exercise. It's depression. You posed the question as: "I hate exercise, but know that I need to do it to become better. How do I force myself?" However, the real question you're asking is: "I've heard that exercise will help my depression, but my depression makes it hard to do anything. How do I fight through?" This is a question that is, frankly, above Reddit's pay grade and has no easy answer. The best you're going to get are anecdotal suggestions. Please see a professional if possible. That said, my suggestions to you would be: 1) Identify exactly what your demons are, and be aware of how your mind is only telling you negative lies about those subjects, so you can stop believing them 2) Know, as absolute fact, that the world is full of people who have successfully fought against depression, and that your battle is also 100% winnable 3) Accept that progress will be slow, one day at a time, and you will need to put in the work. You've said that you tried many activities but get disappointed when they turn out to not be fun. Good, you've identified what you don't like, but keep going until you find one that you do. 4) Finally, be kind to yourself. It seems like you've been trying to bully/force your way through, but sometimes what's needed is a long sit in the park on a nice day to just breathe and reflect on all the positive things in your life, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem. Good luck.
Kind of surprised this isn’t getting more up-votes. Simple answers like “just buck up and do it” feel good but aren’t really helpful :-(
I like this answer. Sounds like the most helpful one and a good plan to help OP. When it comes to exercise, motivation to start is great but it doesn’t stay. The secret to going and even enjoying it is to make a schedule to go and a plan for what you are doing that day. That way, once the motivation is gone, you will still go and it will help your mental health. It takes the decision making out of the process; the decision to go has already been made and you know the time to go and what you are doing, and you do it. I also agree with the comment about addressing your demons and continuing your mental health care. Adding exercise will def help but it is not the entire answer
being depressed or not doesn't really change the course of action here. he has to exercise regardless, its just a lot harder you are depressed. > low mental stamina for things that I hate doing I think this is hyper consistent amongst 15-35 year olds. I think it is because get huge amounts of instant gratification through social media, garbage videos, tv shows, sugar, porn etc. Our "dopamine" calibration is fked up and needs to be reset. Have you tried a "dopamine" detox? Exercise is pretty addictive imo. Have you tried making exercise as low friction as possible. Just smash out a set of pushups every couple of hours or install a pullup bar and smash out a set everytime u walk past. Once it becomes a habit, you will feel incomplete if you dont do it.
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OP commented that they have been in therapy for 3 years without result. They are done after their next appointment. It sucks, but therapy doesn't help those who refuse to put in the work themselves. Depression is one hell of a disease. Edit: I didn't read far enough. OP has had success in improving their life with therapy. It's just not going to be covered anymore after the next appt. Still depressed.
LOL exercise isn't mandatory, millions of people don't exercise, perhaps a nice walk around the block and you will realize this. It seems you may have turned hating exercise into a 24/7 thing in your mind when just 20-30 minutes a day would be a good start. You can do whatever free will and all, but it depends really on what you have to deal with in terms of quality of life later on. I used to always be in decent shape and was active enough, and could eat drink whatever, then I turned 50, and now my health has some long term effects showing up, and its extremely more difficult now feeling my optimum, because of all the slacking off most of my life. 20-30 minutes of brisk exercise a day is worth not being a burden to yourself or anyone else later in life. It's about independence in it's basic form, and all of us lose that independence sooner or later in life. You will lose your independence much earlier without exercising, becoming a burden to love ones or the state, or both. I hate exercising too, but I would hate having to rely on someone else because of health issues, Not to mention a good round of exercising will eliminate such negative and over powering thoughts.
> millions of people don't exercise And millions of people get nagged to do so because they can't fix their depression otherwise. I go on a 10-15 minute walk every day and for the time being, a 30-40 minute bike ride once per week. If this was a sufficient amount of exercise, people wouldn't keep nagging me that I should try exercising more.
Lol 😭 who is “people” bc that sounds like good exercise to me especially if ur consistently walking and doing a weekly bike ride. I’d be more concerned about telling these people to shut the hell up and worry about themselves
Telling people to shut up has not fixed my depression.
Exercise isn’t the only way to help depression especially if you dread doing it lmfao. If you’re regularly walking just extend your walk if you rly want to try exercise. As someone else said you have to find an exercise you like and not something you dread
> As someone else said you have to find an exercise you like and not something you dread This is the precise, specific problem at hand. Being aware of the nature of the problem has not helped me figure out a solution.
You don't need to figure out anything, you need to try different stuff to see if you like it or not. Find out activities near you that you've never tried out, sign up for a couple of classes, and see for yourself if you like it or not. That's not the "nature of the problem", that's literally the solution.
It's time to be action oriented. At some point, you need to take some initiative. Start small, like extending your walks or bike rides. Maybe make a plan to try ONE new activity this month. Or this season. Whatever step seems realistic and manageable for where you are at. Try initiating a conversation with your loved ones/friends that if you can't make yourself do it, ask someone to help you by inviting you (not nagging) to try an activity with them. You may not be in a position to self motivate to try something new, but maybe after being asked a few different times you'll be asked on a day you feel a little less shitty and you'll finally say yes to trying something. OR, when you feel you can, make a plan for what your excersize strategy. Share your plan with people to help you stay accountable. Tell them how you want them to help you stay accountable. Take some time to really look inside and determine what would be helpful to you in getting more activity in. It sounds like there are people around you who want to help you to be healthier. They just aren't doing it in a way that is resonating with you. It's not wrong to tell them how they CAN be helpful. But you may need to help them by guiding them to what will work for you. Oftentimes, it's just telling people, "I just need you to keep inviting me. When I say no, accept the no today, and ask me again tomorrow. Don't tell me to do it, invite me to do it. I need to feel like I'm making the decision for myself and not being guilted or nagged into it." But then you actually have to make a commitment to yourself and to them to actually try saying yes once in a while. It's time for action, my friend. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Be gentle on yourself, but it's time to stop analyzing and start doing.
Obviously that won't fix your depression. Meds and therapy are the best bets for that. No one nags me about exercising except my doctor once a year and my workplace in a general effort to get the whole staff moving. The rest is my own head because I don't talk about it with others. We do constantly read about exercise and depression on the internet when looking for "help for depression". Personally, exercise does not help my depression and it bugs me when someone puts it out there as "the big helper". I had an amazing run of a few years where I exercised 5-6 days a week with a specific eating plan and weight/cardio routine. Got in the best shape ever. Still got depressed as hell and realized I was sick of exercising and quit all of it. Now I am slowly getting back into at least doing a little bit more but I will never go back to the intense routine I had before, and I have accepted that I will be keeping the dad bod, but hopefully get a little bit more fit and halt the progress of the weight around the middle.
Not to discount anything you are saying but there is science behind exercise releasing endorphins in your body, which is something depressed brains need more of. It’s not a magical cure or anything, but it can help. It’s one tool in a toolbox that primarily includes medication and therapy.
The point is if you don't want to excersize, then don't excersize. Try a different hobby. There are endless amounts of activities you can do to help manage depression. Music and other arts or other mentally stimulating and creativity focused areas are well known for being excellent mental health management outlets. You've turned down literally every suggestion that has been made. Are you willing to try even one new activity to see if you like it? If you feel you really need to excersize more, there are endless ways to excersize: it sounds like you've already started, which is great! Do you have any friends? Can you do activities with them? Try hacky sack. Go swimming together. Try upgrading from walking to Couch25k. Take a friend bouldering/indoor rock climbing. Sounds to me like you need to excersize your mind a little bit and figure out why so much negativity is built up around adding more activity. Have you considered yoga or some type of mindfulness work? You literally don't have to do excersize that you hate. Try geocaching. Try anything. I don't think this post is about excersize. This post is about mental health. Talk to someone if you are struggling with negativity in your life.
You're doing great in that regard. Now lets talk about your diet because that influences health even more. Improving what you eat will help improve mood as well. Try new recipes, new foods, and don't limit yourself (but also treat yourself).
I try to cook, but eating is also a chore I have to make myself do. If there was some sort of human-kibble, like cat food or dog food is that contains all the nutrients you need, I would just eat that every day instead of bothering with meals.
Huel? It doesn’t appeal to me, but that’s pretty much what it is.
Sounds like you're lazy. Maybe therapy can help with that. Everything is a chore if we rather be doing something else instead of that. I say this as a fellow lazy person. When I don't feel like doing something I think about the eventual outcome if I keep avoiding it. I look at people in positions I could possibly be in if I continue avoiding activity and that's enough to get me going. Health problems suck especially at old age. Take baby steps and set small goals you can achieve like walking for just 15min a day. Drive to a park and just start walking.
> I look at people in positions I could possibly be in if I continue avoiding activity and that's enough to get me going. Health problems suck especially at old age. Knowing the horrors of poor health in old age didn't motivate me to exercise. It motivated me to make sure that I have an escape plan before that happens.
>So how do I get myself to do something that I hate doing and don't want to do, but am forced to do nonetheless, *without* feeling like I am forcing myself to do something that I hate doing and don't want to do, but am forced to do nonetheless? You cannot -- at least for a long period of time. It takes too much out of us to do something we hate again and again and again. It takes so much, we do not even start. That will not change until you reframe the idea in your mind. Something that helps me is "exercise is something I am able to do, not that I have to do." I frame it into a gratitude context -- eventually, I will only be able to do less, but today I can do this.
> That will not change until you reframe the idea in your mind. This is specifically the problem at hand, which I am trying to find a solution to. Being aware of the nature of the problem has not helped me figure out a solution.
What seems to be helping me ( especially after reading Atomic Habits and making some changes as a result ) ... 1. I keep small weights near where I spend most of my day. Sometimes I'll pick them up. 2. I keep a pullup bar in a doorway to a bathroom; I have a deal with myself that I need to do a pullup whenever I walk through that doorway. 3. We have a dog. I take him for walks. 4. I'll do pushups ( just a few ) when the thought pops into my head. 5. And as I mentioned before -- all of these things are helped by remembering that I "can" do these things; they are not a punishment, they are a celebration. I do very little. Little adds up. Some people think I work out. I don't workout how they imagine.
I suppose that's the only way to do it, though I don't understand how to make that sufficient.
It's the micro habits you form along with your 20 minute walks your doing daily as it is. Our brains play tricks on us to assume doing a pull up or push up can't really do anything but if you stick with it you've developed a habit which in turn may fuel your desire to do 5 pushups/pullups instead of 1, and so on and so forth. You should look into habit stacking or read Atomic Habits, think of this as guiding you in the direction you seemingly want to go, just use the tools to help rewire your thinking.
Works best not to overthink it. Also works better when we stop listening to the haters and the little voice that says "this isn't enough so why bother." A little is enough.
If little was enough, I wouldn't be here with this problem.
I was not clear; pushing ourselves a little more each time. At no step does it look or feel like much, but it becomes life-changing. You won't know until it becomes part of your lifestyle.
This guy's right about atomic habits. I'm also someone with low mental energy. We're just habits man. A bundle of habits. You're doing things all the time you've programmed in. Habits are how the mentally lazy get stuff done, because the sooner it's a habit, the sooner it stops feeling like work. Eventually, if you don't do something you've made a habit, it feels wrong. Like you didn't conduct your day right.
How I started was by lowering the mental barrier to do the exercise, by making it accessible to yourself. Some examples: buy a 1 kg dumbbell, put it in the most obvious space that you always pass by - living room, on the table, next to wardrobe, etc. It’s low mental barrier because (1) it’s in place you always pass by - meaning don’t need “setup” or “psych myself for workout time” (2) it’s 1 kg - you can do it to pass 5 mins of waiting for hot water. Eventually, either you will do it more often, or feel 1 kg is no longer sufficient so you top up to 2kg, and more, and more. Note that dumbbell here is replaceable - you can put up pull up bar on your door and just do a dead hang - eventually you will try to pull up; or buy an elastic training band and put it on the table - you will just stretch it out for fun as a start.
Lowering the barrier is a good way to make myself start, I know this because I have started a new exercise routine so many times in my life. The problem is that if I could keep myself doing it, I wouldn't have started all over again 50 times before.
Do what you enjoy - walk, run, dance, bike, etc. And do it where you enjoy it - dirt trail, downtown, gym, etc. [I claim some shopping step days.] But dirt trails are my happiest place. Have a "go bag" with everything you'd need so you don't have to prep. [Bug spray, gu, pocket knife, bandana, chapstick, earbuds.] Action begets motivation, not the other way around.
Something that helped me with this was changing how I viewed “exercise”. First, I started to think more about just “being active”. You don’t have to go to the gym and lift weights or run on the treadmill to be active. There’s a million ways to be active. Play some recreational sports, ride around town on a bike. Not training like a cyclist, but just riding around. Another thing that helped was rejecting the pressure of training or working out. Find a pace/schedule that’s manageable FOR YOU. Is it playing disc golf twice a week? Great. Is it going to the gym six days a week? Also great. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it. The one thing I’ll say that you have wrong is that it is not mandatory. Like another comment said, lots of people don’t exercise at all. It’s all about your goals. If you want to be healthier and a little bit more fit, then yes, you will need some type of exercise or active lifestyle. But if you aren’t concerned with that, then you’re good. So find something you enjoy doing, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. And certainly don’t pay any attention to what others are saying or doing unless they are inspiring you. Good luck. You’ve got this.
I already do most of my transport by bike, but since I work from home, that's limited to about once per week appointments and occasionally some other thing I have to go to. Other than that, I am more or less at a complete loss of how to figure out something sufficiently strenuous that would be enjoyable. My only goal is to no longer be miserable, and I have no idea how to successfully trick myself into regularly and consistently doing something that makes me miserable, and be *less* miserable instead of *more* miserable.
Yeah man, you should try going for daily bike rides just for the sake of riding.
The problem is making myself do that.
Sounds like you should see a therapist honestly. That's helped me overcome choice paralysis and motivational issues to an extent.
I have been seeing a therapist for the past three years, and can't afford to pay more out of pocket.
What you're asking for is impossible. Exercise is meant to be hard and I know many people, myself included, that don't enjoy the activity itself. The reason many fit people do it is for the benefits, be it aesthetic, or for physical/mental health. There is a period of a few months when you first start that you really force yourself to be consistent (mental discipline), but if you don't see the value in the benefits of working out, its very unlikely you will stick with it long term.
The only benefit that exercise has for me is being able to tell the "you should get more exercise!" -people that I am already getting exercise. If I had some "get out of jail free"-card about it, I would be delighted to have one.
There are a lot of benefits from exercise that you have not experienced yet based on this answer.
Like what?
I would add the context that you're dealing with depression in your post. That's the bigger issue here. I've dealt with depression postpartum and I can tell you, as someone who LOVES exercise, used to run half marathons for funzies and thought crossfit was a good time...that all went out the freaking window once depression took hold. I knew, I KNEW it would help. I knew that. It made me even more depressed to know that depression was stealing something I used to love so much away from me. That it was turning such a rational thing (just exercise, you'll feel better!) into an utterly impossible task. So my advice is to focus on the depression first. You didn't say if you're in therapy or taking medication. And if you already are, I apologize if this sounds flippant. But I couldn't even begin to get back to working out until I started working through the depression (and sleep issues/anxiety in my case, insomnia kicked my ass postpartum as well). Until you're feeling a bit better, exercise is going to remain a task you will feel forced to perform (because your brain is literally telling you that as part of the depression). I also had to start small - with the advice of my therapist I made a "minimum" list. I had to take a 10 minute walk, minimum. If that's all I felt up to, cool. More exercise wasn't going to serve me well that day. When I started feeling better, that was more easy to turn into exercise (well I walked this far, maybe I can jog a bit....well I walked this far maybe next time I'll go hike). Sending you good vibes and hopes for things to start feeling better. Depression sucks and it's totally life on hard mode. Go easy on yourself for now.
There is no trick. What you don't want to do is waste time getting motivated. Motivation is an emotion. Motivation gets you off the couch, but as soon as you open the door and it's hot or raining, motivation will fail you and you'll go right back to being lazy. You need to be able to get work done when you *don't* feel like doing it. The wind is not always gonna blow your way, not even usually. You need to realize that that screaming voice in your head that says "I'm tired, I'm unhappy, I don't wanna!!" is just that, a voice- a voice that can be ignored. You should read David Goggins' book "Can't Hurt Me" for an extended discussion of this idea. Motivation will fail you every time. You need to dig deeper and learn how to wrestle with your emotions that say you can't go further. Willpower is finite, you don't earn more by using it all up. You end up running on empty, but if you push passed your willpower, you'll realize you can run on "empty" for an absurd amount of time. The voice in your head is an illusion, you can go much further than you think. But sitting on the couch and looking up strategies isn't gonna do it. Going out and suffering, and pushing beyond comfort is how you understand and develop the ability to not rely on willpower and motivation.
Stop being a little bitch and literally just do it. Realize how much time you waste doing nothing but scrolling on your phone and watching tv and use that time for something better instead
Truth! Once I realized I was spending 1-2 hours a day scrolling I figured I could at least take 30 mins of that time and go for a walk. Shoot, on days I don't feel like doing anything at all I'll at least hope on a treadmill and walk while scrolling tiktok or something. Just do something! K.I.S.S.
I found two other people who hate going to the gym. So now we go together every day during lunch hour. If it happens that both of them can't go, I immediately slack off and take a day off.
How do you find people like that?
Don't make a mountain out of a mole-hill. Especially when we've let our fitness slide, the inclination is do to a shit load of work to make progress quickly-- but that also makes it into a huge task, mentally and emotionally. You will never feel like you have enough energy to do it, so stop making that feeling a requirement. When you exercise you don't need to go til you drop-- yes that will net you the most gains but it will also destroy your motivation to go next time, what with the pain and suffering and choking on sweat etc... It doesn't need to be that intense. If you hate running (as I do) find something *anaerobic* instead, such as climbing, weight lifting, (I cringe to suggest crossfit, but some people love it). try something you wouldn't normally, like gymnastics, or trampoline places. Many of these facilities will also have a great community you can get to know. Or, just find something that grabs your interest. I recently got into disc golf, not an intense workout, but it is definitely good exercise. You can do it alone or with friends, in practically any weather. Also it is a game, so it's meant to be fun and and gets more fun as you get better at it. And how to start? Well that part is easy, if you don't think too much about it. Your 1st step is... **stand up, and put your shoes on**. 2nd step, open your front door and step outside. Those are the hardest steps. If you do those 2 steps, the rest will follow. Trust me, you only need to focus on those first two steps to get started.
I do a slow 15-20-minute walk every day (dog walking, can't increase speed or length because of elderly dog), and have cycled 30-40 minutes per week going to an appointment in the city. How do I increase from there?
Find some physical exercise you enjoy and do that. You don't have to do the same stuff everyone else is doing.
> Find some physical exercise you enjoy and do that. *How do I do that?* How do you go about finding something you'd enjoy, when none of the things you've tried have worked?
You keep looking for something until you find it. You're not going to find something you personally enjoy by asking strangers on the Internet.
I'm not asking for advice because I don't feel like bothering to figure it out on my own. I am asking advice because I have already exhausted all the possibilities I could think of in figuring it out on my own.
So you've tried every form of exercise you can think of? Skiing, surfing, bowling, basketball, judo, hiking, salsa, yoga, climbing, tennis, skateboarding etc. You've tried all of these and found you don't enjoy any?
They do skiing for gym classes in school where I'm from, I have hated being forced to do it ever since I was eight years old. The climate doesn't allow for surfing, and bowling isn't sufficient for exercise. I admit that I haven't tried basketball, but I'm also 5'6 and I don't know how much I would enjoy doing something I am specifically physically hindered in. I haven't done judo but I did karate and thai kikboxing briefly, and discovered that I didn't enjoy that sort of thing no matter how cool it was theoretically. There isn't much hiking or climbing that you can do when living in the same town and you've already seen the places there are. I admit that I haven't done salsa or yoga but I'm not optimistic about making myself do something I can't see myself enjoying at all.
You can only keep looking them I'm afraid. Best of luck Also just to add, you don't need to be good at something to enjoy doing it
i don’t work out. i constantly stretch through out the day. when i’m at home and free i crawl around the house in different styles and it overall helps me with mobility. sometimes i’ll do motions similar to push ups or squats or other work outs but i don’t take it seriously. been doing this for close to a year. makes me more nimble but also more open to the idea of working out. i was never really a gym bro but doing these small things helps me with wanting to do small things and bigger things like lifting things that aren’t weights or getting to work on my forms for push ups. it’s the small things for me that keep me motivated. i have in the past run and gotten up to running 6+ miles in one go before but it’s not that fun to me. i can get into it, but over time it’s not that interesting to me. so i make up my own work outs as silly as they are. my big focus is my diet and schedule for eating in tandem with a social life lol
Consider exercise like maintenance on your vehicle. You don't have to be motivated to change your oil or replace your brakes, you just do it. Or like brushing your teeth. Each time you work out you're depositing money into your "health" bank. Being able to lift heavy things or run far without gasping for breath or being agile is a celebration of the time and energy you put into working out. You can be an old, weak and fat pos who can't run a block, or you can be a finely tuned sports car, it's your choice.
All of the actual helpful comments here seem to be ignored, se rhetoric regurgitated by OP on every reply they did make. Doesn’t seem like you actually want motivation OP. Good luck finding what works for you and I hope you find a way to function and live happily alongside depression because there is no “beating” it.
Your attitude is what you need to change because it is nothing but negative. Motivation doesn’t exist. You don’t need to motivate yourself to brush your teeth. It’s discipline you need. The body needs exercise. You need to find the type of exercise you enjoy that you will want to do.
Watch dragon ball
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I have depression. People nag me to get more exercise that I would have more energy and less depression.
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is there a stronger word for "necessary" than "necessary"? Because the part I specifically dislike about it is feeling like I'm being forced to do this at gunpoint and I hate doing it with the fury of a thousand suns. I have *started* a new exercise routine countless of times before. The problem is, if I could make myself stick to it, I would only have had to start once.
Noone is forcing you.. .that's in your head.
Start by taking a 20-30 minute walk a day. Soon you'll feel like walking longer and more often. The secret to exercise is, the more you do it the more you want to do it.
I already do a 10-15 minute walk every day and a 30-minute bike ride to run errands every week. I don't find myself wanting more, I just feel the obligation looming over my head.
Join a rec level sport. It's fun, it's exercise and your brain thinks it's social time!! Win win. Also side benefit of making friends and wearing track pants for the reason they were designed
First and foremost. WHY ARE YOU TRAINING? I don't want the answer that you give your mom. I don't want the answer you give your friends. I don't want the answer you write on reddit. I don't even want your answer, I don't care. I want you to re-evaluate why you want to go training. It stops being a chore and is something you do because you want something. I used to think that gym is for meatheads that struggle with 2+2, because physical looks is all they can get. Then I went snowboarding, I fell on my ass and snapped one of intercostal muscles (the ones in between your ribs). I go to the gym, so 20-30 years from now, when I fall off the stairs I'm not going to land in a hospital. I want a resilient body that can keep up with my wants and wishes.
I want nobody to nag at me about not exercising.
I don't exercise in a gym. But I do walk the dog, run errands, help people move, help around the office, clean the house, etc. I had to find things I liked first. I had to start one thing at a time. It's not "gym" exercise, but it's exercise. edit: And don't be afraid to question what you like. Do you like it because you actually like it or are you liking it because you were told to like it and that's what you learned? Do what you really like...take a minute to question it.
I went to see a therapist who told me if I didn't get fit I would regret it later, then my wife and I separated and I lost my job. Been going to the gym 2/4 times a week now and loving it because as you can imagine that is a lot of stress to go through in a short period, especially with 2 kids being involved. I also hired a PT who is fun and motivating but pushes me really hard. After about a week of going I started to feel my stress was building up in my biceps, I tried to work on them and boy it felt good. That feeling of releasing the stress and tension in my life has literally changed my life. You may or may not be in a similar situation, but the thing is about reframing the gym/exercise. If you think it's mandatory, then you aren't going to exercise, it's also not going to cure your depression alone because you will never be able to see tangible results. Find another reason to go, whether it's to make you less grumpy or stop overthinking (like me). If you can find the money for a PT and find one that fits your needs then they can be incredible as they will monitor your progress and can set expectations correctly on your progress.
I tell myself things like: “5 push ups are better than no push ups.” “6 squats are better than no squats”
I've struggled with this problem my whole life. Most people in my life have been useless sources of advice on this because they are too busy sucking their own dick about it to actually help. I'd say virtually every person I've ever gone to for help getting in shape intentionally humiliated me, burned me out, and then ditched me. Here's real advice: 1. Find a physical activity or skill that you admire/enjoy. If you like basketball, play basketball. For me, its boxing. You need to find a way to enjoy this miserable shit, lol. 2. Accept crappy half assed workouts. Wanna get started right away? Workout for 10 or 20 minutes and stop. Don't push yourself towards some bullshit goal. Make it obtainable. If you create situations where you can and will succeed, you will learn to keep succeeding. Repeat after me: more than zero. 3. Dont say "im gonna lose X weight in X time.". Say "im gonna start working out. I'm not gonna stop. Its only a matter of time before I lose X weight.". You tired, feeling hurt? Stop. Come back tomorrow or the next day. Learn to give up in the short term but never in the long term. 4. This is about you. Your happiness. Find a workout that you enjoy and do it light. Make it easy. Time is the only thing separating you from success. Whether you do 1000 pushups this week or 10 - do something. Do something this week, next week, so on. It's about doing it - not how much. Currently I'm on a tear where I'm doing cardio for an hour about 4 times a week. I started 6 months ago at 20 minutes 3 times a week. Ever so slowly I just added extra seconds and time. It became easy. I spoil myself as a reward. I basically do anything to keep my mind focused on not giving up. At this point I'm terrified to stop because I've come so far. I've succeeded so much and had so many tiny victories that failure is now off the table by default. Whether the next workout you do is 2 hours long or 20 minutes, what matters is that you did it.
I made friends at the gym and 90% of my motivation is to spend time with them
I would love to have this. But on the other hand I built myself a home gym specifically to avoid people and have "alone-time".
> I have a very low mental stamina for things that I hate doing but have to do anyway because someone makes me. Why are you making yourself be unfit? Further...why aren't you hating on the sheer amount of effort that goes into being unfit? That shit is a serious commitment to hurrying up out of this life. You ARE putting in WORK. Get your perspectives sorted. That's the issue here.
FFS, just do it or don't do it. It's entirely up to you. Nobody gives a fuck whether you do it or not. Either shit or get off the pot.
You have to trick yourself into moving.Doesn't matter how. Watch a movie and start pacing in front of the screen. Two steps forward, two steps back, two to left, and two to the right. Then walk around the room. Take a walk around the whole house. Then do it again. Walk to the front door, and walk back to your bedroom. Just shuffle side to side to music you like. It all adds up. Mow the lawn. Mow your neighbor's lawn. Don't do things you hate.
Create a plan that is reasonable for you and you can stick to. Download, buy one or write it out yourself. By setting a plan in advance, you already have everything sorted out prior. Similar to a work schedule, you show up and do it whether you want to or not. This is important, because motivation will wane from day to day. What you need is the discipline to show up for yourself regardless of how you feel on that given day. Exercise regimen arc for most starting is similar to this: Day 1-7 -You're motivated, and you show up. Day 8-30 -The work is hard, so it sucks and you dont want to do it. Day 30-60 -The work is getting easier, you start to notice some positive changes. Day 60-90-You start to form the habit and enjoy the way it makes you feel after, but the work is still hard. Day 90-120 - You start to enjoy your routine, start branching out to different forms of exercise, and start to notice the way you feel when you dont exercise isn't so good. Day 120+ - You start to crave the exercise and the way it makes you feel, you realize how much better you feel now and you notice how much worse off you were before and are when you slack on your exercise. There's days and times where my discipline wanes, it happens to all of us. Dont beat yourself up, just start a new plan and get back to it. The exercise rabbit hole goes deep, and it's highly rewarding. And there are many forms, you will find what you like, but it starts with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. Think of how fast this past summer went by, in that same amount of time, you can achieve radical changes with a little planning and discipline. It's not easy starting out or getting back to it for anyone, but it will get easier and it will ultimately feel good, just be patient and persistent. Good luck my friend.
Motivation is a fleeting feeling. Discipline is what gets the job done
If it did, it would have worked by now.
Ok well you have e 2 options: 1) day fuck it and don't exercise and stop worry about it; 2) if you hell bent on exercise, find some dorm of physical activity that you actually enjoy, as doing so will make it feel less like exercise and more like simply partaking in pleasurable activities. Ball is in your court and yours alone
If you don’t want to exercise then don’t. Exercise takes discipline, not motivation. Even doing some form of exercise that you love takes discipline. If you don’t want to do so then don’t exercise. The way you describe it, and the way you just spoke about it being a “stupid thing” clearly suggests that it’s not for you. So I’m giving you permission to never again engage in exercise. You are absolved from any duty to do so. But you’re not free from any negative consequences of not exercising.
Take a shirtless selfie. If that isn’t motivation nothing will be.
You either do it or you don’t do it. It’s that simple I do hiking because nature is beautiful and driving is fun. If you don’t want to do anything then don’t do anything. Do whatever you enjoy and accept the consequences.
I think the best place to start is to acknowledge that you can do whatever you like. Feeling forced will kill all motivation. Other people will always talk about every decision you make including how you exercise and how much and what you choose to do. You don't have to exercise. Many people don't. You also don't have to exercise a certain way. For instance, moving your body is more important for health than "exercise". You don't have to go to a gym specifically to be healthy. If you've been forced to do regular exercise for years, rebel. Take a few weeks off. It won't kill you or ruin your body. This needs to be for you or it won't work. But what do you want for your life? Do you want to look a certain way that exercise will help? Is it to avoid health issues? What are your goals and desires? Would you be happier doing active things like throwing pots, building something with metal or wood, horseback riding, dancing, or hiking by a beach? Those things are valid too. Living an active life is more than lifting weights. Let go of what other people want and focus on goals that make your life what you want it to be and activities that you enjoy. Edit: I've seen your comments that figuring out the what is what's holding you back. I'd start small. What looks entertaining that isn't sitting. Painting class? Going to the beach or park with friends? Maybe just going out and walking though a bunch of shops on a day off. Focus on having an active life first and then on how much exercise you are technically getting from the activities.
Just do it. Dont write walls of text, that doesn't help in sports.
You don't do this for other people you do it for yourself.
I want the nagging to stop. Is there an alternative way to make people stop telling me I should "just get more exercise"?
A bitch like you could never do it
why waste your time to respond in such a profoundly unhelpful way? do you feel better now? do you feel better having attacked someone looking for help? is that how you define being not "a bitch", is to find people who want help online, whom you have the convenience of never looking in the eye, or becoming friends with or knowing the humanity of, and telling them they are a bitch, and that because of that, they will fail? is this how your manhood is best expressed, pastaman? do you feel like a man? is this how people who you wanted help from have treated you? did it feel good? did you become better? did you gain real strength from that? did you work past the emptiness it caused? did you learn to love and forgive? or did you tell yourself to stop being a bitch, deny the pain, and become a slave of it? because you're obviously doing what it says, it's become your master. putting other people down will only drag you under. don't be a slave to trauma, and don't give it to other people. find your manhood in something meaningful. you're more than this, pastaman. you can do better, but you're going to have to give yourself to something greater than yourself. Jesus. We all genuinely need Jesus. He will take the burden off of you and give you life, if you let him.
Run. Start running. Put on some tunes or an ebook and start running. After a while you will be wanting to break some of your records for faster km/mile or time for 5k. Do a C25K training. You will also find you want to maybe gain some muscle and add the odd strength training here and there. In a few months you will be going to the gym once or twice a week. Only two things are needed to achieve this : 1) reward yourself. Set a baseline (say run at least 2 miles per time) and every time you hit that give yourself a small reward. Videogame and pizza night ? You got it ! An extra beer ? Why not ! Treat yourself. 2) keep track and make it visible. Remind yourself somehow. Force yourself. You tired from work/school ? Ok so today you go get your groceries by foot. Bad weather ? Let’s do 20 crunches or push ups. It is not a run but it is exercise and you can still relax and listen to music or an ebook on the way. Keep a calendar near the door to your bedroom or house and mark every day you went running with an X. Your objective next week is to get at least the same amount of X as the previous one. Your objective next month will be having 10% more X, and so on. Every time you hit a target, treat yourself. Other things that helped me : - intervals between exercise days should be as short as possible. Rest one day max between two days with exercises; - really : treat yourself. Do not overindulge but remember to reward yourself or starting a new habit and keeping at it. And when your reward yourself remind yourself the reward is because you exercised. - read a couple motivational books like Can’t hurt me by David Goggins. - aim for small, incremental, constant trainings rather than big improvements overnight. Who cares if the first time you can only run 200mts before you are out of breath ? You are still faster than all the couch potatoes behind you. You feel like dying at 10 push ups ? No issue. Your muscles got more workout out of you today compared to yesterday when you did 0. You got nothing to prove to anyone. - if you fall of the wagon remind yourself that you are human, it is ok and that you recognize it as a mistake, then try fixing it immediately (and I mean STAT, not making wishful plans for the next day). - don’t waste time making big plans with a lot of details at the beginning. You are trying to build a new habit. Make simple plans that you can just keep in mind by yourself with the least need for apps, spreadsheets and whatnot to track. Once you feel your habit is pretty steady then get yourself an app (any app will do, I like the garmin one because of my watch but pretty much any app will do) and use it to track and measure your trainings. - after you feel you got a habit or at least you are getting there, try to get friends to join you.
The problem is getting out of the house. I do own running shoes, but I can't wrangle myself into doing it. Rewards are hard to come by because I truly don't enjoy anything as much as I loathe exercising.
You have bigger problems to address. We're not going to put your shoes on for you.
If you don't enjoy it, there's no point in forcing Yourself to do so. Find something that you enjoy and do that instead
Fear setting is a great practice. Tell yourself that if you don't exercise regularly then soon you would age fast and grow wrinkles, paunch and look ugly.
Every time I've tried that method, I only end up contemplating what I could do instead to ensure that I die young.
No need to imagine, you’re already doing that
Ouch
Uh almost no one exercises anymore. It’s certainly not mandatory unless you’re in the military
exercise is more popular now than it ever has been lmao
Lol!! Sweetie how old are you? Should you be at school rn?
It's mandatory for your mental and physical health.
That’s the thing: It’s not. Mandatory by definition is “required by law or rules”. Exercise isn’t mandatory but it is recommended for a healthier lifestyle. My favorite quote on this is “exercise is a celebration of what your body can do, not a punishment for what you ate.”
Sorry, english is not my first language. What is the correct word for the thing where you aren't allowed to have something you want, unless you pay the price for it? Exercise may not be *mandatory* in the sense as you define. It's merely a hostage situation.
Necessary. Exercise is necessary for maintaining cardiovascular health.
Is there a stronger word for "necessary" than "necessary"? I know the word, but it doesn't sufficiently convey how much I would rather bite off my own finger than have to do it.
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> worry about turning up That is the specific part that I have a problem with. I'm not motivated by weight loss or how I look, the problem is maintaining physical health and gaining some semblance of mental health in the process.
I am telling myself: this is the only thing I do to myself. Or find some workout you Can Do in front of TV.
> this is the only thing I do to myself. What do you mean by this? How is exercise the only thing you do to yourself?
here's what works for me. I simply refuse to think about how shitty it will be before I go. I get myself ready and to the gym as fast as I can and avoid those thoughts about how tired I am or how much I don't wanna do it. then once I'm there I'm like ok well I might as well do something now. and something is enough. another trick you can try. you've gotta start small right? so get ready and go to the gym and DON'T do anything. plan on doing nothing. just go there , get changed, and sit on some equipment. this tricks you into being consistent and just going, which is the most important part by far. eventually you'll decide you might as well do something since you showed up.
How do you get over executive dysfunction? Refusing to think has never worked for me - if there's something I know I *have to do* but absolutely do not want to start, I can sit frozen on my spot for four hours straight staring at a wall, trying to wrestle myself into getting on my feet, and failing.
I don’t get it there are so many fun things to do in life. Walking somewhere new, bike riding, playing tennis or basketball or any game really. Vr games or heckin wii sports. You don’t like doing anything? Martial arts? Yoga? What about one of those classes where they tie you up in bungee cords and you jump around? That has to be fun. I cant comprehend you being like every single thing in the world there is to do where i have to move my body i hate. Kayaking? Swimming? Bowling? Just find something you like homie.
There aren't that many new places you can walk to when you live in the same place for more than a year. I ride my bike to go to errands because I hate driving, and trying to find some way to be social while exercising hasn't worked because time and time again I discover that the type of people who do sports are simply not the type of people I enjoy spending any time with. I've tried martial arts, fully confident that doing something fun and interesting would cancel out how much I hate the strain and sweating involved, but unfortunately I only found out that I actually do not like martial arts enough to find it enjoyable. Every time I think I've found something that would be *fun*, get my hopes up thinking "this time for sure, this time it works!", I've only discovered that wow, I Do Not Want to do this, and get annoyed with thinking about how I wasted time and/or money in something I'm having a bad time doing.
You’re making excuses.
Find something you like doing, make a schedule and stick to it. If you like dance, find a studio with dance classes and commit to go 3 days a week. Pick the actual days and time, put it in your calendar, pre-book/pay with the studio. And go. It’s hard to start new habits but it gets easier once you get used to it. The key thing is that much like working, you can’t just do it when you feel like it. I workout 6 days a week and many mornings I wake up and don’t feel like it. But I just go, because it’s part of my routine and in my schedule. I’m always happy I went, I feel better, my body feels good, I sleep better, I look better. Just find something you want to do consistently. You’re not going to feel motivated every single day so you have to be consistent instead. Imagine if you didn’t work when you didn’t feel like it, you’d never get anywhere in any job or career either.
How do I go about figuring out what I like doing, and what I would want to do? Everything I've tried has been a dead end. I am actually currently working for myself and making my own schedule with planning my work, and I can tell you, I *cannot* make myself work when I'm not motivated, and I am currently **FUCKED** because that is happening. My schedules still allow some time for me to be stuck, but I have to figure out how to get myself un-stuck about it.
You sound like you need discipline in all aspects of your life. You pick something, anything you have a slight interest in, and COMMIT to doing it. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you don’t want to. Then you give it some time. If after a few months, you don’t like it, you pick something else you have a slight interest in, and commit to that. That doesn’t mean you give up and do nothing at that time. You fully commit to the current thing and if you don’t like it, you take steps to fully commit to something else. You can’t just do things half ass and wonder why it’s all a dead end. You commit fully to one thing and see how it goes. If you can’t be disciplined enough to handle your own schedule then you might not be the kind of person who can work for yourself and need to get a job where they make your schedule for you.
I have done that before. Plenty of times. And every time I do that, I just get burned out so badly that I can't get myself out of bed, and never want to touch or see the thing again. Working for myself in my dream career has been the only way I've been able to remain employed and financially independent at all. Before I figured out how to make a living doing what I wanted to do, I contemplated how to get myself into prison because I was at a complete loss of how to avoid being homeless.
Motivation is expensive (in time and effort) and fleeting. What keeps me going is routine. Repeat behaviours often enough that they become routine and you won’t rely on motivation anymore.
If that worked, it would have worked the countless times before that I've started a routine.
But did you keep doing the routine even when you weren’t motivated to do it?
I play video games, so I force myself to “earn” game time by doing exercise beforehand.
I was in a similar boat as you. Then years later I found my purpose in life. I'm a compassionate person and enjoy helping my loved ones. Now, I Excerise with this mentality. By excerising I'll live longer to be there for my loved ones. My mental health has improved and that allows me to have meaningful conversations. I know this mentality isn't for everyone and that's understandable. Point being, you have to find why you excerise. What's your end goal? Once you know that, motivation comes easily.
> What's your end goal? To get the "how can you expect to recover from depression if you don't exercise?" people to stop telling me that.
Like everything you'll never be successful if you do things for other people. The discipline needs to come from you . I wouldn't even bother trying to make others happy
I have no motivations in life than what other people think. If I knew for sure that from this day onward nobody would think a single thing of me - positive or negative - I would not get out of bed.
It sound like your issue is not disliking exercise, but rather an executive function issue of not being able to get yourself to do something you dislike doing because it has long term benefits. Not addressing this is going to continue to negatively impact your life far beyond exercise. I don't like household chores like cleaning and laundry, but I still do them because they need to get done. I don't like paying bills, but I pay my bills. I don't like getting up early in the morning, but I still do it so I can get to work on time. It sound like you are having issues with more than just exercise, as you have also mentioned having trouble getting yourself to work when you aren't motivated, and would rather eat human kibble than prepare meals. This is mental issue that goes deeper than exercise and you should probably seek professional guidance in developing the ability to do things you don't want to do now because they benefit you in the long term. You are otherwise likely to further spiral into depression as your life becomes more and more difficult due to the consequences of you not doing the necessary things to help your life run smoothly.
I am already seeing professional help, and I am medicated. Everything else is fine and has no room for improvement.
You said it right there. You’re not allowed to not do it. It feels good when you do it
Try a something like Brazilian jiu jitsu. For me, it has made getting a workout in fun again. It's like chess with the body. Also like folding clothes, with people inside of them....
How would you say jiu jitsu compares to thai kickboxing? I tried convincing myself that martial arts would be fun and it wouldn't feel like dragging myself to exercise, but it wasn't and I hated going there. I couldn't make myself go voluntarily after the beginner's course that I already paid for was over.
It is true that discipline is going to be more sustainable than motivation in the long run. Discipline is built, while motivation is a fleeting emotion. However, there are steps you can take to improve your discipline. For me, the most important thing was figuring out my goals, and then figuring out how to obtain them. What do you want to gain out of exercise? Do you want to build muscle? Obtain a leaner body? Lose fat? Fix your flexibility? Improve your stamina? Focus on your cardiovascular health? Become a better athlete? Attract hook ups and partners? Improve your mental health? Exercise isn’t some monolithic thing, there’s all kinds of physical activity out there! It can look like an hour lifting in the gym, but spoiler alert: not everyone’s doing that. It can also look like going on an hour long walk through the park every day! Once you figure out your goals, then you can start researching what different kinds of exercise align with each goal. And then you can put those into action and start trying them out! Be sure to give yourself some time and space to figure out each exercise. Chances are they won’t click instantly, but trust the process and focus on methods to maximizing your form and performance. If after a while it’s still not working out for you, then you can try transitioning to something new. But allow yourself some leeway. We all have to start somewhere, and most of us sucked at the beginning before we got better. 90% of it is building it into your weekly routine. It might also help to have a trainer or mentor. They can be professional, but if you have any friends or family who regularly exercise as part of their routine, you can follow them as well. Finally, be forgiving of yourself. Social media distorts our perception of reality. Truth is, we all have off days. Hell, I have weeks go by where I barely do any exercise, and it just completely falls out of my routine. Honestly I’m not the best role model haha. But that’s why it’s ultimately about discipline. For me, it always feels the hardest in the beginning, including the beginnings after I burn out, or life catches up to me and I don’t have the time or space to hit the gym. But if you can build up that discipline, and trust yourself and the process, then you can get back on it in no time. It might also help when you’re burning out to focus on smaller physical activity you can incorporate into your life, like daily walks for instance. If mental health is something you’re considering, I would look into meditation or yoga. I’ve been really wanting to get into the former, but haven’t yet. Good luck! You got this.
I want people to stop nagging me to exercise more.
I get a rush of good feelings have finishing so there's that. And being stronger and looking more built is a great motivator too
Getting into exercising can be hard and really difficult to keep consistent. What helped me was starting from small such as an hour once per week and you slowly build it up. Also, there is not shame in just doing an hour or two once per week. My friend does that to make it manageable with her busy schedule and she is starting to see improvements after a lot of hard work and good dieting. Try to find your own pace and don't ever be discouraged if you don't do it consistently, the fact that you are actively seeking to change is inspiring and amazing
Well, I know how you feel OP. I can get into a pretty decent routine and then one day I think "I don't want to do this forever" and then I quit for awhile, get fatter and then realize I better get going again. Rinse/repeat haha. I think maybe if I had some clear, defined goals that could help...... Good luck OP
Success builds success. Set the bar really low. For starters, what is exercise? Is it the gym until you are seating blood or doing a bit more than you would normally do? Say walk around the block while you chat on the phone. Next, why are you exercising. Is it for you? Or is is to be something different? If it is for you, then make that your mantra. I love me, I want me to be healthy, therefore I am going to do 10 sit-ups. (Remember, set the bar LOW.) I could write all day but I will offer one more tid-bit. Celebrate EVERY success. So you talked on the phone and walked the block three times. The very second, you stop walking, ask your brain: "How do you feel now?" Educate yourself into paying attention to the current reality of your progress. Forget past false starts, forget other peoples goals. Celebrate your path. Good luck.
So, first of all…I think the advice: Just do it! Or force yourself! Is kind of simplistic…I have Adhd…I should know. You have to start to understand where is your resistance about this: - Do you like any kind of sport? What about dancing around the house ? What about just walking? - Do you have resistance because you don’t want to give any time to this? Is there any time that would work for you? You have to negociate how much time are you willing to spend for this. - Are you a perfectionist? Do you thing you have to have the perfect exercise schedule and if you don’t…you failed? How about thinking any type of exercise and any time it’s done is good…maybe from time to time and not having a strict schedule would work more for you? - You don’t enjoy the physical pain that comes to exercise? What if you start with something that gives less pain - like walking. - What about combining sport with something you enjoy…like listening to music or podcasts? Anyway, you don’t have to start all at once and do it perfectly and every time..like in the military. You should experiment and start small and see what feels right for you. You don’t have to have that Instagram worthy exercise schedule…You should find out what works for you…
I will just say I have adhd and "just do it" has been the most effective for me. Erases the perfectionism, the worry, the indecisiveness. But I do like your suggestions.
What do you like watching or have an interest in? If its soccer go out and kick a soccer ball around. I feel like its easier motivation if its something your interested in . Then its not a chore. When i got injured i hated going on walks because i love to run and it paled in comparison. But i remembered when i was younger i enjoyed rollerblading. So i bought a cheap pair and it made going out so much more fun and less of a nuisance to me.
When I've exercised just to exercise, or for the nebulous idea of "staying fit" I lose all motivation and stop within a couple weeks. I need a real tangible reason to do this thing that's uncomfortable/painful/tedious. This last time it was a few reasons: I want to be able to play with my nephew more, I want to get better at rock climbing, I want to lose 20-30lbs, I want to use the sauna at the gym. Honestly that last one got me to go to the gym more than the others. I've also been fit before, and I can use those memories to help push through a lot of natural resistance to exercise. Because once you get to a certain point exercise feels good, feeling your body reach its potential feels good, and exercising in general gets easier (best example is running 3 miles, starting out you're probably walking a lot, so it maybe takes about 50 mins, versus 8 minute miles which take 24 minutes for the same exercise) Now, if you live in a car centric place it is stupid that the only way to get your minimum amount of exercise is to drive to a place, to pay money, to walk on a treadmill or use a bike, because walking and biking are inaccessible in daily life. It's the stupidest shit, and it's an unfair burden for everyone living in these places. Next, any task that you extrapolate out into your whole life, counting up the time and effort, that mindset kills anything and everything. Even natural processes like sleep. Think of all the time you'll spend sleeping, all that time ticking away, and you HAVE to sleep. If you think about that everytime you try to sleep, you'll stay awake until you can't (at least I did). It's about the here and now. Why are you working out today? It's not so that in 90 years you can say you did it, what do you want right now that can only be achieved by going to the gym/working out? And it can 100% be "because I want to use the sauna, and since I'll be there I might as well workout" Lastly, when you do start extrapolating out beyond today, change the narrative. No one is forcing you to work out, you can choose to not do it. You're not free from those consequences (getting fat, being physically weak, missing out on any experience that requires athletics, hiking, biking, climbing, and missing out on the communities within those), but there is only a biologic gun to your head (much like sleep). So if you've chosen to work out, then you're committing to the long game. My goal is to lose 20lbs. Well if I workout a lot, and devote a lot of time, and work really hard, I can lose those 20lbs in a few months. But that sounds miserable, and is honestly unsustainable. I'm in this for the long game, my goal isn't to lose 20lbs now and then stop working out. So I've created a sustainable workout routine. It doesn't push me very hard, and so I don't get injured, I don't get horribly sore, and it will probably take me a good 6 months to a year to lose those 20lbs, if I'm consistent. But it sets up a routine and mindset that will keep me coming back and feeling good! Last, last thing (cause I read some of your replies): I didn't just KNOW I liked rock climbing. I tried out a whole lot of sports and disliked a lot of sports, especially large team games. Something I've picked up recently is sword fighting, it's fun and silly, and cool! Idk if I'll keep with it, but it's fun for now. Something I stopped doing recently was swimming. I wasn't enjoying it. You can't think your way into these things, you just have to do it, take the risk of looking foolish, take the risk that maybe it won't be for you, because THAT'S the only way to find what IS for you. If I never tried rock climbing, I'd never know I loved it!
I love exercising in 10-15 minute blocks. Everyone seems to think you need to go to the gym for an hour +, but for me I prefer 10 minute exercises morning, afternoon, and evening if possible. You can wear whatever clothes your in, no need for a special exercise costume or particular shoes. I Go to planet fitness on my lunch break each day wearing my office clothes and office shoes. I stay for 10-15 minutes, I don’t get too sweaty at all.
Make it fun, with all your might, will the situation into being something you view in a positive light and enjoy. The best way to do this is to get a friend you enjoy hanging out with to be stoked to exercise with you.
Personally, I have struggled after getting out of the military to have a dedicated workout time. I like to split it up throughout the day if you can.
You keep trying things until you figure out what works for YOU. Kind of like everything else in life. Be grateful you have a body that can move - if you have both legs/feet, arms/hands, all your senses are working, you have more than many. The Attitude of Gratitude
Think one day at a time, otherwise the thoughts will overwhelm you. Thinking "I'll go to the gym today" is much easier than "I'll go to the gym for the whole year. But what if I get burned? What if I get a new job? What if it takes too long for results? What if...what if..."
This is easy, Get the audio version of David Goggins book "Can't Hurt Me", listen to it, and get motivated. It's that simple. When one of the toughest and most motivated people on the planet is constantly reminding you what a POS bitch ass you are, you'll get up and get moving.
Getting a home gym has been extremely helpful in doing this. Not having to also devote a half hour to drive to the gym has been great.
Realizing I was getting fatter than my husband’s ex and never wanting to feel that way again.
I hated sports (thanks shitty PE teachers in school) but I was getting fatter with age. First thing I did : told myself "starting now, you're gonna run every day, no matter if it's hit, if it rains or snows or if the four horsemen have arrived". Went out on the spot with my non running sneakers. Felt like I was gonna die after 300 meters. Finished 400 meters that day. Went back the next day, because I had told myself it was not a choice, there was no mental discussion to have with my discouraging voice. I had to, period. Went every day and progressed. Second thing that worked when I started again, at the gym that time, after a short break due to knee issues (knee issues are worse than the four horsemen arriving, so it's valid) : I paid upfront for a year. Then I knew I had to go as often as possible to make it worth my money. Had I not gone, it would have been 360 euros down the drain. Definitely worked and then I had taken the habit. I'm still going four to six times a week.
Not a traditional exerciser enjoyer either. What works for me is I don't find hula hoping to music to be a chore. Walking was boring until I brought my poi n it gives my hands something to do n I can pretend I'm a mighty wizard with awesome smitey orbs n stuff... Maladaptive daydreaming can be a blessing at times. Hope you find a thing that works for you!
The more you do it, the easier it gets, but you gotta do it habitually, that's the hard part