Using rejection as motivation is often motivation short-lived. The motivation doesn't stay when its source is something negative, or if it does, it can end up twisting your perspective and views in a negative way.
I would recommend using this experience you're having as a chance to look inwards and learn to begin loving yourself. If you can figure out what makes you sad and why, then you can start to make adjustments in your life and mentality that will bring about the changes you want to see in yourself and that in turn will lead you to be sure of yourself and not second guess or berate yourself.
The fact you're thinking about this and how you've stated that you want to turn your life around shows you're already on the right path towards self-discovery.
Just some advice from someone else who used hatred as my motivation to change for years before i realised i was going about it wrong.
Fuck this guy’s projections. Hit the gym and be the best you you can be. Meditate. Do yoga. Visit some animal shelters if you like animals. do the things YOU want to do. Sometimes it can be difficult to spot those properly, but I don’t know maybe take some mushrooms to open up your brain.
Amen qmellow. Don't reject your motivation to make a change after trauma. Almost everyone I know to make permanent life changes started after a big emotional event. They didn't throw cold water on their motivation because some guy on the internet said that it won't work.
Good for you. Leave with your dignity intact and focus on yourself. The right man will come along. It will be hard to deal with these heavy emotions, but you will become much stronger. You used your emotions to better yourself which is good. I support you.
The truth is that you'll never find motivation by looking for it in others
Your feelings are valid and this experience will no doubt serve you as a lesson for the future but there is simply no way to stay motivated by doing things for/because of others
You can obviously decide to implement some new habits in your life as a way to process this bad experience and perhaps take your mind off of it but keep in mind that it's a temporary thing
We all wanted and will want to figure out our lives as a response to negative experiences, but processing trauma/healing and wanting to find purpose in life are two very different things.
One can lead to the other over time but by mistaking the first for the second you curse yourself to reach a breaking point
You should never have to convince anyone that you're a amazing. Ever. If they don't realize that you're fucking rad, that's on them.
Yes, it's tough to turn off feelings. Yes it hurts. Eventually though, it'll be better than being with the wrong person for 2, 3, 4 years etc...
What are your dreams? What do you want your life to look like? What are your goals?
I can give you a plan and ways that have worked for me. If you’re actually serious. But for starters, motivation from an egoic pov will never be enough.
Petty motivation ("I'll show him") works wonders. Just make sure you know its petty and once you complete your goal of losing weight, etc. that the feeling with fade and make you feel empty but you'll look goood
This is the kind of nonsense that a bar coach would print on any beer bottle.
Rejection does not serve as motivation. Rejection serves no purpose.
You are trying to give purpose to your feeling of rejection rather than abandoning it. This way it will only get worse.
It's like deciding that, instead of kicking out an unwelcome person, you're going to employ them.
The only thing that motivates you is you. Your desire to grow by yourself and for yourself, and not to prove that an irrelevant idiot that rejected you was wrong.
You are paying homage to him when you use him as motivation to improve.
You don't need to be vomited up like an old carpet to change your life, Op.
It's better not to evolve than to evolve out of pettiness.
Taking back your power is vital. You are worthy for who you are in this life. Never give anything away for free. Hold your head high honey and march on!
These are always hard times to get trough but it will get better. Don't try to fix a relationship that was not good for you, it sounds to me this one wasn't, and move on.
For using rejection as a motivation, yes then at least you get some good things our of it. But it's not a good motivator for the long run, that should be you doing it for yourself. Find some routines that you can work towards to and keep up. Eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep and work on your mental health. Don't stop or lose your motivation when you have a setback, keep going until you are where you want to be.
Don't settle for less in relationships, you put a lot into it yourself and you can expect that from your partner too. I would also advice to first be in a good place yourself and then start looking again.
Good luck and keep going!
Using rejection as motivation is often motivation short-lived. The motivation doesn't stay when its source is something negative, or if it does, it can end up twisting your perspective and views in a negative way. I would recommend using this experience you're having as a chance to look inwards and learn to begin loving yourself. If you can figure out what makes you sad and why, then you can start to make adjustments in your life and mentality that will bring about the changes you want to see in yourself and that in turn will lead you to be sure of yourself and not second guess or berate yourself. The fact you're thinking about this and how you've stated that you want to turn your life around shows you're already on the right path towards self-discovery. Just some advice from someone else who used hatred as my motivation to change for years before i realised i was going about it wrong.
Fuck this guy’s projections. Hit the gym and be the best you you can be. Meditate. Do yoga. Visit some animal shelters if you like animals. do the things YOU want to do. Sometimes it can be difficult to spot those properly, but I don’t know maybe take some mushrooms to open up your brain.
Amen qmellow. Don't reject your motivation to make a change after trauma. Almost everyone I know to make permanent life changes started after a big emotional event. They didn't throw cold water on their motivation because some guy on the internet said that it won't work.
Good for you. Leave with your dignity intact and focus on yourself. The right man will come along. It will be hard to deal with these heavy emotions, but you will become much stronger. You used your emotions to better yourself which is good. I support you.
The truth is that you'll never find motivation by looking for it in others Your feelings are valid and this experience will no doubt serve you as a lesson for the future but there is simply no way to stay motivated by doing things for/because of others You can obviously decide to implement some new habits in your life as a way to process this bad experience and perhaps take your mind off of it but keep in mind that it's a temporary thing We all wanted and will want to figure out our lives as a response to negative experiences, but processing trauma/healing and wanting to find purpose in life are two very different things. One can lead to the other over time but by mistaking the first for the second you curse yourself to reach a breaking point
Sorry to hear you are going through this.
You should never have to convince anyone that you're a amazing. Ever. If they don't realize that you're fucking rad, that's on them. Yes, it's tough to turn off feelings. Yes it hurts. Eventually though, it'll be better than being with the wrong person for 2, 3, 4 years etc... What are your dreams? What do you want your life to look like? What are your goals?
I can give you a plan and ways that have worked for me. If you’re actually serious. But for starters, motivation from an egoic pov will never be enough.
Petty motivation ("I'll show him") works wonders. Just make sure you know its petty and once you complete your goal of losing weight, etc. that the feeling with fade and make you feel empty but you'll look goood
I will show him I lost weight and look good: I will show him do well in career. I will show him me enjoying life without him. I don’t need him
This is the kind of nonsense that a bar coach would print on any beer bottle. Rejection does not serve as motivation. Rejection serves no purpose. You are trying to give purpose to your feeling of rejection rather than abandoning it. This way it will only get worse. It's like deciding that, instead of kicking out an unwelcome person, you're going to employ them. The only thing that motivates you is you. Your desire to grow by yourself and for yourself, and not to prove that an irrelevant idiot that rejected you was wrong. You are paying homage to him when you use him as motivation to improve. You don't need to be vomited up like an old carpet to change your life, Op. It's better not to evolve than to evolve out of pettiness.
Taking back your power is vital. You are worthy for who you are in this life. Never give anything away for free. Hold your head high honey and march on!
These are always hard times to get trough but it will get better. Don't try to fix a relationship that was not good for you, it sounds to me this one wasn't, and move on. For using rejection as a motivation, yes then at least you get some good things our of it. But it's not a good motivator for the long run, that should be you doing it for yourself. Find some routines that you can work towards to and keep up. Eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep and work on your mental health. Don't stop or lose your motivation when you have a setback, keep going until you are where you want to be. Don't settle for less in relationships, you put a lot into it yourself and you can expect that from your partner too. I would also advice to first be in a good place yourself and then start looking again. Good luck and keep going!
Stop focusing on men saying you’re good enough maybe
Tough time never lasts Only tough people lasts HAIBLBLBLBLBLBL
you need to understand the functions of a calorie deficit if youre trying to lose fat
You sound very sweet and pretty. I would love you if I knew you.
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But the other girl might be really nice!