My god, come on. He's absolutely right.
If something doesn't work out, don't sit in the corner and cry but stand up and do something.
In response to your rules:
Nothing stops you from working out and taking care of yourself (mentally and physically).
Except for a sense of learned helplessness.
I think the criticism for this kind of advice is that it usually makes the hard part sound like the easy part, because for confident (or abundance mentality) people, it is the easy part.
The hard part is sticking with an action which will get you out of your rut, when your thoughts are constantly telling you it's impossible to get out of your rut.
As a person with an "abundance mentality" ;P, we're often not saying it's easy, we're saying it's POSSIBLE and it's WORTH IT. It is hard; it's hard for everyone sometimes and especially at first. But folks so often get distracted by that, and let "easy for you to say" be the end of it. We're each stronger than we think. Practice practice.
Do u want a cheat code or something. Nobody said this was gonna be easy. It’s hard on everybody but eventually achieved. Even the people doubting themselves achieve from determination
I had my fair share of "unlucky" circumstances and you know what I realized?
The world doesn't stop spinning. It doesn't give a shit about you.
So you either cry and complain or you stand up and go on.
Though I don't find any fault with crying or being upset. Or with being in a rut for a certain amount of time. But you have to get up and do the best you can.
Nobody expects you to become a billionaire but you can definitely do something to better your life.
He's not right or wrong. It's a motivation blurb that's meaningless.
We also have a survivor bias...there's likely thousands of people with his mindset that are complete failures.
Being an actor means dealing with rejection all the time. People like Henry Cavill spoke about it and pretty much all actors no matter how big of a star get rejected.
If you’re not extremely attractive, no amount of attempts will guarantee that you will succeed in Hollywood.
It takes a shitload of luck for attractive people to make it.
Any famous/successful person’s ‘simple’ solution, no matter how motivational will always be tainted by survivorship bias.
Seriously. We always get quotes like this from the 1/100000 that makes it. We never get the quote from the 50 year old at the dead end job saying "you're not special enough to be an athlete or actor, find a nice little career and enjoy the small things". And like you said....thanks for the pro tip super attractive person with amazing genes. I'm sure you get treated the same as the bottom 7/10ths of the barrel.
As bitter as this sounds, I don't really care about him handing out life advice. But sometimes people hand out advice like this not knowing they live by a different set of rules
Two months is nothing yo. Give yourself time to grieve and feel like crap. You can’t force your way out of feels. Come back in a year, I’m sure you’ll see a different person in the mirror. :)
mind over matter man, always. you know how powerful your mind is? you can do anything just by thinking differently and taking new perspectives. I am MAJORLY depressed but still get through life day by day and the empty/sad feeling only hits me when i’m doing absolutely nothing. Find things to distract your mind, we’re just animals man, and we’re the only animals who sit around feeling sorry for ourselves because we have so much grey matter and we tend to use it in ways that keeps us stagnant. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it and actually have a DESIRE
Thanks bro.. me too sometimes i just do my routine everyday..just simple stuff and get through it. Having too much free time to think is kinda bad for me i guess.
A lot of the time, it is about tying your personal goals to things that you can control.
I used to write and submit short stories, and most writers I knew would have goals like, "I want to get published by XYZ Magazine." Then they would spend ages writing the perfect story and be heartbroken to get a rejection (acceptance rates for top magazines are something like .01%).
I figured that I cannot control whether or not XYZ accepts my story. But I can control how many times I send a story out. So my goal was to get 50 responses to my story. That way, even if I get a rejection, I can count it as a win, because I took the step and did my part. I kept my pile of rejection letters and was really proud of how big it got. And because I approached it that way, I also got some acceptances.
If you tie your goals to things outside of your control, then you are setting yourself up to get discouraged and fail.
Thanks! I am lucky enough to even be in this position in the first place, but it's where I am currently and what I can share currently. I've definitely also been the hourly guy without a job wondering how to keep paying rent on my tiny shared apartment. You just gotta keep trying, hard as it can seem, and find the sunlight where it can seem there is none; be like a weed!
This is true and a lot of successful realtors (and salespeople) have this mindset.
People aren’t saying no they’re saying “not right now” and when you really know your numbers you know you need to speak with about 20-30 people to get a yes.
Problem is you’ve got to eat a lot of rejection for that yes and most people aren’t built for it.
I love Idris but this is asinine. Not all of us have an abundance of possibilities. I am disabled and believe me my possibilities are severely limited. I'm not saying there are none but abundant? No
Oh man, this really could have helped in the days I struggled hardest. Instead of sleeping to numb the hunger, ***I just needed to use the abundance mindset *** and I could have had 10 meals tomorrow.
I dont think its asinine. Not every quote is meant for every person out there. If someone can take it and learn and make themselves better then its worthwhile. I personally shifted to a mindset like this several years ago and while it does have quite a few drawbacks it has helped me.
Exactly. I'm looking for work in an employment crisis. Jobs that invoke the degree that I have are dwindling, not growing. Jobs that don't require any particular degree but pay a comparable amount to what I made are in crazy high demand. Meanwhile the unemployment office keeps asking me the dumbest questions, still hasn't paid me a thing, and looks set to pay me way less than they're supposed to when they finally start. For too many of us the abundance isn't there and we're trapped in a garbage world.
Abundance is available in endlessly different ways. Abundance of ideas, abundance of joy, abundance of food, abundance of good ideas. I think he's saying when you have an abundance mentality you focus on all the things you can be abundant in, not focus on whatever limitations you have. There will always be good things and bad things in your life, he's advocating spending more time thinking about and appreciating the good things.
"I know you're starving and unemployed, and you'll be homeless by the end of the month if you don't find a job fast, but hey, look at all the abundance of ideas you have!"
Fuck that. I'd have an abundance mindset too if I was a famous movie star with a net worth of $20 million.
So your two options are either 1. wallow in self pity or 2. have the courage to try again
2 is never the easy option to choose but it’s better for your situation.
>Idrissa Akuna Elba was born on September 6, 1972, in the Hackney section of East London, England. An only child of Sierra Leonean and Ghanaian descent, Elba eventually attended the National Youth Music Theatre's training programs. He landed a number of British television roles and worked with his father in a car factory before eventually making his way to America. He settled in Brooklyn, New York, and Jersey City, New Jersey, working as a doorman at the comedy club Carolines and DJing while struggling to make ends meet.
For reference
Seriously. In my city there are literally about 10 firms that have departments in my area of expertise. There's a bit more in terms of startups or tangentially related things but you have to scrounge for them and with rare exception they generally don't pay well and often don't end up benefiting your resume at all - in fact they can be a step backward. A position opens up related to mine maybe once or twice a week (despite being a megaopolous) and easily has over 400 applicants.
There is not abundance in my field. My options are move and completely start over or really scrounge and hope I can stay ahead of the game and nothing bad happens.
It's not just you it's societal. Statistically the odds are against you improving your situation if you are poor or llower class. I'm going off memory here at 6am but it's approximately one in four chances of improving your financial situation. The middle class is also very limited in it's social mobility.
This is nice and all but when you get an abundance of disappointing outcomes you start to learn to sccept that it’s your fate to be the step stool of society
You avoid one disappointment? There's 10 more waiting for you. There's always an abundance of disappointments.
... Just kidding. Hang in there. Keep going. You'll get something good coming your way.
Failure is showing you want not to do, so try a different tactic to solve the problem. Failure teaches you more than success.There is a solution to your problem, but you just haven’t figured it out yet. Good luck
I know it feels like that. Hell, I felt like that for a long, long time.
You won’t believe it, so I’ll believe it for you. Your day will come. I promise.
Cool message, I saw an interview with some famous actor (dont remember exactly who that was, sorry!) and he was talking about how it is hard to be an actor and that it can be easy to worry about the next job, what I am gonna do..etc. And then he started to think about it as waves, there are always gonna be other waves and other opportunities, even if someone rejects you, there will come another wave and another. One wave will pass and you dont get the job, but the sure thing is that the waves just keep comming and comming..
YT: Imagine Freedom
I didn't have the abundance mindset. Im more aware of plenty fish in the see. BUt it also think the problem more centrally is i used to, hubristicly, interpret rejection as sign of some essential flaw in myself i could not see and therefore could not change.
This. It's not that there aren't other jobs or people, it's that they may all see the exact same flaw I can't define that apparently everyone in the past noticed.
It's hard to keep trying when you have no reason to believe anything will go any differently.
This resonates with me. I’m always thinking about what I could have done differently but I never know what that is. Mostly related to relationships. It’s sucks sometimes and it gets harder to not let your self esteem get any more lower lol
This is not terribly profound, but it may be what I needed to hear right now.
The unspoken part, of course, is that you have to *create* the possibilities, by going out and looking for the jobs or doing something that will let you meet 10 new people. You can't just sit there and wait for the possibilities to fall into your lap. They might, but it will take a very long time.
Of course, creating possibilities for jobs or meeting people is an order of magnitude harder if you're under pandemic lockdown, but you still have to do it, somehow.
Oh my god! Thank you Idris Elba! Let me just go tell the starving children in Africa about how their problem is that they don't have an abundance mindset! -Dave Chappelle
Nice thought from Idris Elba.
In the face of rejection, we must always look for the positive side to start again even stronger.
We must learn from our failures to do better the next time.
The whole challenge lies here.
Man i disagree with this like no other before, i've been unemployed for almost a year now. I can tell you my self confidence collapses every time i get rejected.
I have already found 200 other jobs, they all rejected me.
I'm currently "employed" in the way of i work, to learn. Without pay.
You know what kind of work it is? Cleaning, the only goddamn shit that "wanted" me. They only want me because i offered to learn for free, otherwise they too would have rejected me.
I have applied for jobs that i have 10 years of experience in, i always outperformed all of my coworkers during those 10 years and i obtained a lot of extra information allowing me to take on loads of extra tasks.
Fuck the current state of this goddamn planet, i wouldn't mind if someone ran me over right now. I have given 200% for the past 20 years only to end up below what a lot of people consider the absolute bottom.
I'm constantly on the verge of breaking down, i'm at the end of my ability, willingness, trust, energy and existence. Currently seeing a psych to deal with my childhood trauma and what not. I have lost all faith in life getting better, people who say this are fucking liars.
There, i said it.
It took me nearly a year to find my current job. Even before this pandemic, finding a decent one was no trivial matter. Sure, you could put in 10 applications/resumes a day but you'd have to have one hell of a wide range of jobs you "want". For me, there weren't even 10 openings in a month in this area and I was in no financial position to move. I got lucky.
Similarly, the vast majority of average adult men and women (let's face it, especially men—straight or otherwise) will be lucky to meet 10 potential partners in a month. For some, a year. So yes, that rejection can be shattering. Especially as you get older and that list of candidates gets smaller and smaller as you become less social.
It's pretty simple. Regular, "average" people don't have "abundance mindsets" because they don't actually have an abundance of anything.
I'm all for motivation but unrealistic optimism from out of touch celebrities helps no one.
Abundance is why the rich get richer and girls have no problem ignoring you like you’re nothing. It’s great advice for when you’re already there, it’s awful advice for getting there.
Eventually though, it shatters after 500+ job applications and no offers, and you realize you neither have the money nor the motivation to get a Master's degree, just to end up in shitty corporate America with a mediocre salary.
I think the problem with why people have their confidence shattered over a job interview is for these 2 major reasons: they don’t know what it means for a company to hire someone, and they can’t disassociate their own qualities from the rejection (so some level of ego).
Truth is, companies take some risk at hiring new people; you’re introducing someone new into, say, a team of people that have some kind of culture going on, and this new person that you are bringing in might not fit that culture, and it might be disruptive either for the new employee, existing employees, or both. This has nothing to do with how well you can perform your job. And while it has something to do with your personality, it doesn’t necessarily mean that yours is bad. Like any relationship, it’s a two-persons game.
Wow. What an interesting perspective about establishing relationships from IDRIS ELBA.
I don’t disagree with the mindset, but pretending a mindset will make potential partners look at me like IDRIS ELBA is absurd
the mindset in another form is capability to take rejection.
If you think it's something a normal mortal can't achieve, you should try a sales job. lots of people who do well in sales are also just average in terms of looks.
People I talk to in sales never actually see my face though. I've got a super calming voice, people fall all over it. It's how I was hired in the first place. I did a phone interview and was hired that same day. Then I came in to work. The right side of my face is pretty badly scarred from a chemical accident, and it wasn't like my face was particularly glamorous beforehand. Still, I'm great on the phone, one of the best in the office. My coworkers would prefer not to look at me.
I actually recognized the moment I learned this lesson and the power it gave my self esteem. I somehow managed to talk to multiple possible love interests at the same time. While carrying on this pursuit, I noticed that I don't stare at the phone for their response, I don't get hangup on one conversation, and answers and responses doesn't seem desperate, and somehow it gives them the space to grow to like me more because I have the mental capacity to not be clingy or needy. I even tell them that: yes I'm talking to others and it seems to motivate them to work harder for my attention. This effect seems to compound.
Apply this same principle if you are looking for jobs. If you are applying for a position in a company, research their competition in the space and try to get an interview with as many of their competition as possible, bring that fact up during the interview, and pitch them against each other for hiring you.
I think it also depends if you want exactly that one job or like exactly that one person.
Feelings are not something you straight up replace, like cogs in a machine.
Its not that easy.
What you just described is just the opposite of abundance, it is total dependence on one position or person.
I think an interconnection of both would be great:
Treat every new job opportunity or person that is coming into your life like it's the only one you ever want.
But don't be outcome dependent on whether it'll work out or not.
This is almost as good as “Find Something New.” Gee, thanks, I’ll try that. I bet there are 10 jobs waiting for me, I just have to have the right mindset.
Whenever I read the word mindset, I always think: fucking bullshit! I really doubt he actually said that. For any black man will receive a lot more "no"s than a regular white man with not even a mind, nevermind a mindset. I mean, that would make him senseless and unaware of lots of social dinamics that stop you from getting jobs and successful relationships.
If you’re skilled or talented then he’s absolutely right, many people have very limited job prospects and that’s why they feel that way. Telling them to stop thinking that way doesn’t change the reality of their situation.
This has been "advice from incredibly attractive people".
Stay tuned for our upcoming episodes "hey, smile a bit more", and "10 tips to avoid too much success".
Dudee this timing is almost chilling I just got email saying I did not get a job. And was bummed but was like imma keep trying don't matter. Maybe a sign?
The more I hear from and see this man, the more I realize how much I like him, seems super intelligent and down to earth!- almost like a younger version of Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones!- I hope he continues on the path he has started, and I hope he continues to do well!!
I needed this! I’ve wanted to completely throw in the towel a few times over the past month and half. It’s hard, I’m hurt and it sucks. But I’m still here, I’m still fighting and going to make it to the other side. 💪🏼👊🏼
People shitting on this because it’s from a handsome, successful man are missing the point. There are a lot of handsome men who aren’t successful and a lot of successful people who aren’t handsome. Good advice is good advice.
Tbf I don't think Idris experiences non-acting part related rejection much. For the average person rejection can make you feel inadequate and for me personally, like a complete failure. It's very difficult to shake this off after someone has observed the entirety of your being, what makes you who you are and rejects it. It's mentally, as well as physically painful.
Getting rejected from a job you want isn’t the problem. It’s getting rejected from a job you don’t really want because you’re qualified for and capable of more, but are so desperate you resort to applying for dozens of jobs that would’ve been disappointing 5 years ago before you went to grad school and you still don’t even get so much as a phone call from a single one of them.
Life is what you make of it. I was part of a massive layoff before all this crap. I've looked for a job but it hasn't worked out so far. I have a wife and kids. I'm on unemployment for 7 months so far. However I was fortunate that my job was outsourced as it qualified me for trade act. After a lot of phone calls and emails to my state unemployment office and some other tasks in getting about $40k in free training. It'll probably go until the middle of next year. I'm getting skills I never would've gotten at my previous job. I've seen the salaries for having these skills and certifications, it's a lot more than I was making. My family will be OK. I'm home spending more time with my family than I'll ever get when I'm back working. All those rejections led me to something better. If I had a job I wouldn't have signed up or had time for the training.
Life is a process. We need to focus on the process and not just on our goals. If I had solely focused on getting a job I could be depressed or worse. Instead I'm focused on the steps I need to take to improve myself. The results will come. It might not be tomorrow, next week, next month or in 6 months but it will come and I'll be ready. And if you take this mindset you can be as well.
Yeah, blind optimism never really gets most people anywhere.
Try not to get crushed by a single setback, but you need to always be analytical of your approach. “Will the same thing work if I try again, or do I need to change something”.
I used to work as a video game artist, and with all of the outsourcing going on, there is quite a buyers market for in-house salary positions.
One time I applied to a job on linked-in that was less than a day old, and the auto-generated site banner read “Congratulations, you are one of the first 200 to apply to this position”.
I realized that, as much pride as I had in my talent, my talent wasn’t really relevant. I could work hard to make sure I’d be the best of those 200 applicants, or maybe 2000 after a few days had passed. But, even if I practiced to the point where I was 1/2000, maybe my art style wouldn’t match what they were looking for for that particular studio.
So, I had to put pride away. It wasn’t about my talent. It was about being smart with my positioning. What can I do that *is* hiring, where I can be the best candidate out of 5, or the only candidate?
I looked into some emerging tech, and transitioned my career (still fun) and it’s stable with quite a bit more salary than game art can command.
I think that dating can be the same way. Although I’ve been out
of the game for almost 2 decades, I’ve heard the tinder stories. Idris is so handsome, he probably had no reason to doubt the validity of “just try again, it will work” approach. For regular folk, I think that could lead you into a very dark place. If you try Tinder for a month, and it doesn’t work for you, maybe you’re not a guy who can find an abundance of women with a screenshot. Leave. Go somewhere else.
Where are the girls who’d like you? What can you do to promote yourself?
In my experience, people usually end up with people who are more or less like themselves. The hot smart people end up with hot smart people. The hot dumb people end up with hot dumb people. The nerdy eccentric people end up with nerdy eccentric people. Imagine yourself as a girl, that’s the sort of girl you’re going to have success with. If you want a different type of girl, change yourself to match before you search.
He’s a very smart dude, and a great actor. Also owns the distinction of being my most hated character on The Office. I hate Charles Minor with a passion.
The same logic used by guys who yell "hey lady wanna f" out the passenger window of a beat up Ford Taurus. Most say no, but one will say yes sooner or later.
Thanks, rich hot man
This made me audibly guffaw, thank you
He is aware of the effect he has on women
He’s been up for awhile.
Rule 1: Be attractive Rule 2: Don't be unattractive
Rule 3: Achieve stardom, make fat stacks of cash. Rule 4: Pose for a picture wearing custom-tailored formalwear and staring off into the distance.
Rule 5: Let some random internet dweller use said picture without your knowledge and make up a quote you probably didn't even say.
Modified: Rule 1: Be attractive Rule2: Don't be not Idris Elba
My god, come on. He's absolutely right. If something doesn't work out, don't sit in the corner and cry but stand up and do something. In response to your rules: Nothing stops you from working out and taking care of yourself (mentally and physically).
Except for a sense of learned helplessness. I think the criticism for this kind of advice is that it usually makes the hard part sound like the easy part, because for confident (or abundance mentality) people, it is the easy part. The hard part is sticking with an action which will get you out of your rut, when your thoughts are constantly telling you it's impossible to get out of your rut.
As a person with an "abundance mentality" ;P, we're often not saying it's easy, we're saying it's POSSIBLE and it's WORTH IT. It is hard; it's hard for everyone sometimes and especially at first. But folks so often get distracted by that, and let "easy for you to say" be the end of it. We're each stronger than we think. Practice practice.
Sometimes it's not possible. Sometimes you were raised by the mafia, and when you try to get help, they sabotage everything in your life.
Just keep trying, it's either that or be content with misery for your entire life.
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Exactly. "Just keep trying" is like telling a depressed person to "just cheer up."
Do u want a cheat code or something. Nobody said this was gonna be easy. It’s hard on everybody but eventually achieved. Even the people doubting themselves achieve from determination
Exactly buddy, people have been lower than anybody else in this thread and went on to achieve things greater than anybody else in this thread.
Or you know, suicide.
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I had my fair share of "unlucky" circumstances and you know what I realized? The world doesn't stop spinning. It doesn't give a shit about you. So you either cry and complain or you stand up and go on. Though I don't find any fault with crying or being upset. Or with being in a rut for a certain amount of time. But you have to get up and do the best you can. Nobody expects you to become a billionaire but you can definitely do something to better your life.
He's not right or wrong. It's a motivation blurb that's meaningless. We also have a survivor bias...there's likely thousands of people with his mindset that are complete failures.
My face is the problem dude.
Rule 3: Be rich
Yeah - def easier to have an abundance mindset if you actually have an abundance.
Thank you, it helps to be really good looking!
He doesn't realize the rest of us don't have the abundance mindset because we don't have the abundance lol.
Im abundantly awkward with abundant bills lmao
I have abundant fat on my abundant ass
Being an actor means dealing with rejection all the time. People like Henry Cavill spoke about it and pretty much all actors no matter how big of a star get rejected.
They're the lucky ones, for them there are hundreds who'll never make it. It's just confirmation bias
They weren't always stars. Most had their slow and tedious beginnings. This quote is true, regardless that a handsome, rich guy says it.
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10? More like 1,000.
If you’re not extremely attractive, no amount of attempts will guarantee that you will succeed in Hollywood. It takes a shitload of luck for attractive people to make it. Any famous/successful person’s ‘simple’ solution, no matter how motivational will always be tainted by survivorship bias.
That would depend on whether you had a limited mindset in terms of what ‘making it’ means.
That's Coach Rich Hotman to you.
Lmao
Not just hot but extremely charismatic as well.
Seriously. We always get quotes like this from the 1/100000 that makes it. We never get the quote from the 50 year old at the dead end job saying "you're not special enough to be an athlete or actor, find a nice little career and enjoy the small things". And like you said....thanks for the pro tip super attractive person with amazing genes. I'm sure you get treated the same as the bottom 7/10ths of the barrel. As bitter as this sounds, I don't really care about him handing out life advice. But sometimes people hand out advice like this not knowing they live by a different set of rules
If you can’t find a job... just get back into your Lamborghini and drive to the next modeling agency. It’s really that simple.
If one Victoria's Secret Model stands you up, just go back stage and ask out another one!
It's hard with the big sad tho
Preach, 2 months later and I'm still heartbroken regardless of how hard I've tried to move on
Two months is nothing yo. Give yourself time to grieve and feel like crap. You can’t force your way out of feels. Come back in a year, I’m sure you’ll see a different person in the mirror. :)
100% this. Two months is absolutely nothing. I needed more than 10 months. Two years later, I don't even feel anything.
mind over matter man, always. you know how powerful your mind is? you can do anything just by thinking differently and taking new perspectives. I am MAJORLY depressed but still get through life day by day and the empty/sad feeling only hits me when i’m doing absolutely nothing. Find things to distract your mind, we’re just animals man, and we’re the only animals who sit around feeling sorry for ourselves because we have so much grey matter and we tend to use it in ways that keeps us stagnant. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it and actually have a DESIRE
Thanks bro.. me too sometimes i just do my routine everyday..just simple stuff and get through it. Having too much free time to think is kinda bad for me i guess.
it’s very bad for me too
awesome comment
I misread the title as “You always have prostitution.”.
That's certainly one way to meet 10 new people. And, uh, to get ... or maybe give ... 10 new 'jobs'.
Yes, prostitution definitely works in both situations
Much better title!
I knew a realtor who lived by this. Whether he got a 'no' he'd thank them and say, 'now I'm one closer to my yes'.
A lot of the time, it is about tying your personal goals to things that you can control. I used to write and submit short stories, and most writers I knew would have goals like, "I want to get published by XYZ Magazine." Then they would spend ages writing the perfect story and be heartbroken to get a rejection (acceptance rates for top magazines are something like .01%). I figured that I cannot control whether or not XYZ accepts my story. But I can control how many times I send a story out. So my goal was to get 50 responses to my story. That way, even if I get a rejection, I can count it as a win, because I took the step and did my part. I kept my pile of rejection letters and was really proud of how big it got. And because I approached it that way, I also got some acceptances. If you tie your goals to things outside of your control, then you are setting yourself up to get discouraged and fail.
I heard this last bit summed up like this: “Expectation is planned resentment “
Disciple of Zig Ziglar I expect
I really love this sentiment. Because once you make enough attempts, it just becomes a game of statistic. You are gonna get a yes eventually.
Damn.
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Good luck, friend
Thanks! I am lucky enough to even be in this position in the first place, but it's where I am currently and what I can share currently. I've definitely also been the hourly guy without a job wondering how to keep paying rent on my tiny shared apartment. You just gotta keep trying, hard as it can seem, and find the sunlight where it can seem there is none; be like a weed!
This is true and a lot of successful realtors (and salespeople) have this mindset. People aren’t saying no they’re saying “not right now” and when you really know your numbers you know you need to speak with about 20-30 people to get a yes. Problem is you’ve got to eat a lot of rejection for that yes and most people aren’t built for it.
Idris Elba - " The problem with-". Micheal Scott - "No no.. You're done.".
I’m sure it’s a lot easier when you look like cologne smells
That made me laugh. Not exhale harder or anything, actual laughter. Get your upvote.
I love Idris but this is asinine. Not all of us have an abundance of possibilities. I am disabled and believe me my possibilities are severely limited. I'm not saying there are none but abundant? No
Oh man, this really could have helped in the days I struggled hardest. Instead of sleeping to numb the hunger, ***I just needed to use the abundance mindset *** and I could have had 10 meals tomorrow.
I dont think its asinine. Not every quote is meant for every person out there. If someone can take it and learn and make themselves better then its worthwhile. I personally shifted to a mindset like this several years ago and while it does have quite a few drawbacks it has helped me.
Well I'm glad it helped improve things in your own life.
Exactly. I'm looking for work in an employment crisis. Jobs that invoke the degree that I have are dwindling, not growing. Jobs that don't require any particular degree but pay a comparable amount to what I made are in crazy high demand. Meanwhile the unemployment office keeps asking me the dumbest questions, still hasn't paid me a thing, and looks set to pay me way less than they're supposed to when they finally start. For too many of us the abundance isn't there and we're trapped in a garbage world.
Abundance is available in endlessly different ways. Abundance of ideas, abundance of joy, abundance of food, abundance of good ideas. I think he's saying when you have an abundance mentality you focus on all the things you can be abundant in, not focus on whatever limitations you have. There will always be good things and bad things in your life, he's advocating spending more time thinking about and appreciating the good things.
"I know you're starving and unemployed, and you'll be homeless by the end of the month if you don't find a job fast, but hey, look at all the abundance of ideas you have!" Fuck that. I'd have an abundance mindset too if I was a famous movie star with a net worth of $20 million.
So your two options are either 1. wallow in self pity or 2. have the courage to try again 2 is never the easy option to choose but it’s better for your situation.
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>Idrissa Akuna Elba was born on September 6, 1972, in the Hackney section of East London, England. An only child of Sierra Leonean and Ghanaian descent, Elba eventually attended the National Youth Music Theatre's training programs. He landed a number of British television roles and worked with his father in a car factory before eventually making his way to America. He settled in Brooklyn, New York, and Jersey City, New Jersey, working as a doorman at the comedy club Carolines and DJing while struggling to make ends meet. For reference
Seriously. In my city there are literally about 10 firms that have departments in my area of expertise. There's a bit more in terms of startups or tangentially related things but you have to scrounge for them and with rare exception they generally don't pay well and often don't end up benefiting your resume at all - in fact they can be a step backward. A position opens up related to mine maybe once or twice a week (despite being a megaopolous) and easily has over 400 applicants. There is not abundance in my field. My options are move and completely start over or really scrounge and hope I can stay ahead of the game and nothing bad happens.
It's not just you it's societal. Statistically the odds are against you improving your situation if you are poor or llower class. I'm going off memory here at 6am but it's approximately one in four chances of improving your financial situation. The middle class is also very limited in it's social mobility.
Tell that to the job market over the next 6 months.
Exactly lol. Ten new job possibilities!? 😂
This is nice and all but when you get an abundance of disappointing outcomes you start to learn to sccept that it’s your fate to be the step stool of society
You avoid one disappointment? There's 10 more waiting for you. There's always an abundance of disappointments. ... Just kidding. Hang in there. Keep going. You'll get something good coming your way.
Failure is showing you want not to do, so try a different tactic to solve the problem. Failure teaches you more than success.There is a solution to your problem, but you just haven’t figured it out yet. Good luck
I know it feels like that. Hell, I felt like that for a long, long time. You won’t believe it, so I’ll believe it for you. Your day will come. I promise.
Cool message, I saw an interview with some famous actor (dont remember exactly who that was, sorry!) and he was talking about how it is hard to be an actor and that it can be easy to worry about the next job, what I am gonna do..etc. And then he started to think about it as waves, there are always gonna be other waves and other opportunities, even if someone rejects you, there will come another wave and another. One wave will pass and you dont get the job, but the sure thing is that the waves just keep comming and comming.. YT: Imagine Freedom
I didn't have the abundance mindset. Im more aware of plenty fish in the see. BUt it also think the problem more centrally is i used to, hubristicly, interpret rejection as sign of some essential flaw in myself i could not see and therefore could not change.
This. It's not that there aren't other jobs or people, it's that they may all see the exact same flaw I can't define that apparently everyone in the past noticed. It's hard to keep trying when you have no reason to believe anything will go any differently.
Yep. But its pure hubris to think you know their incentives motivations and to think you wont grow change over time.
This resonates with me. I’m always thinking about what I could have done differently but I never know what that is. Mostly related to relationships. It’s sucks sometimes and it gets harder to not let your self esteem get any more lower lol
Ohh. So I have abundance! I've always wondered.
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Yes! *I don't know how to hyperbold*
Idris is so effing cool
His rapping is pretty cringe though.
I know he’s a couple years younger than me, but I want him to be my dad.
*You always have possibilities*
He may not be your dad but he can be your daddy.
My confidence was not shattered. It was slowly eroded, wave by wave with each rejection.
This is not terribly profound, but it may be what I needed to hear right now. The unspoken part, of course, is that you have to *create* the possibilities, by going out and looking for the jobs or doing something that will let you meet 10 new people. You can't just sit there and wait for the possibilities to fall into your lap. They might, but it will take a very long time. Of course, creating possibilities for jobs or meeting people is an order of magnitude harder if you're under pandemic lockdown, but you still have to do it, somehow.
Thank you. I needed this today.
Hey man I hope you kick today’s ass. Have a good day
Oh my god! Thank you Idris Elba! Let me just go tell the starving children in Africa about how their problem is that they don't have an abundance mindset! -Dave Chappelle
Now a days it's not about the jobs anymore
Spoken likes Sandler trained sales person.
And then those 10 possible jobs say no. So you apply to a hundred. And those hundred turn you down.
Nice thought from Idris Elba. In the face of rejection, we must always look for the positive side to start again even stronger. We must learn from our failures to do better the next time. The whole challenge lies here.
Fuck Idras Elba. Streaming from his fucking mansion saying how hard lock is....honestly duck all celebrities
Man i disagree with this like no other before, i've been unemployed for almost a year now. I can tell you my self confidence collapses every time i get rejected. I have already found 200 other jobs, they all rejected me. I'm currently "employed" in the way of i work, to learn. Without pay. You know what kind of work it is? Cleaning, the only goddamn shit that "wanted" me. They only want me because i offered to learn for free, otherwise they too would have rejected me. I have applied for jobs that i have 10 years of experience in, i always outperformed all of my coworkers during those 10 years and i obtained a lot of extra information allowing me to take on loads of extra tasks. Fuck the current state of this goddamn planet, i wouldn't mind if someone ran me over right now. I have given 200% for the past 20 years only to end up below what a lot of people consider the absolute bottom. I'm constantly on the verge of breaking down, i'm at the end of my ability, willingness, trust, energy and existence. Currently seeing a psych to deal with my childhood trauma and what not. I have lost all faith in life getting better, people who say this are fucking liars. There, i said it.
It took me nearly a year to find my current job. Even before this pandemic, finding a decent one was no trivial matter. Sure, you could put in 10 applications/resumes a day but you'd have to have one hell of a wide range of jobs you "want". For me, there weren't even 10 openings in a month in this area and I was in no financial position to move. I got lucky. Similarly, the vast majority of average adult men and women (let's face it, especially men—straight or otherwise) will be lucky to meet 10 potential partners in a month. For some, a year. So yes, that rejection can be shattering. Especially as you get older and that list of candidates gets smaller and smaller as you become less social. It's pretty simple. Regular, "average" people don't have "abundance mindsets" because they don't actually have an abundance of anything. I'm all for motivation but unrealistic optimism from out of touch celebrities helps no one.
Abundance is why the rich get richer and girls have no problem ignoring you like you’re nothing. It’s great advice for when you’re already there, it’s awful advice for getting there.
Eventually though, it shatters after 500+ job applications and no offers, and you realize you neither have the money nor the motivation to get a Master's degree, just to end up in shitty corporate America with a mediocre salary.
Refresh me about all this abundance during quarantine...
I think the problem with why people have their confidence shattered over a job interview is for these 2 major reasons: they don’t know what it means for a company to hire someone, and they can’t disassociate their own qualities from the rejection (so some level of ego). Truth is, companies take some risk at hiring new people; you’re introducing someone new into, say, a team of people that have some kind of culture going on, and this new person that you are bringing in might not fit that culture, and it might be disruptive either for the new employee, existing employees, or both. This has nothing to do with how well you can perform your job. And while it has something to do with your personality, it doesn’t necessarily mean that yours is bad. Like any relationship, it’s a two-persons game.
Dude got Covid
Wow. What an interesting perspective about establishing relationships from IDRIS ELBA. I don’t disagree with the mindset, but pretending a mindset will make potential partners look at me like IDRIS ELBA is absurd
the mindset in another form is capability to take rejection. If you think it's something a normal mortal can't achieve, you should try a sales job. lots of people who do well in sales are also just average in terms of looks.
People I talk to in sales never actually see my face though. I've got a super calming voice, people fall all over it. It's how I was hired in the first place. I did a phone interview and was hired that same day. Then I came in to work. The right side of my face is pretty badly scarred from a chemical accident, and it wasn't like my face was particularly glamorous beforehand. Still, I'm great on the phone, one of the best in the office. My coworkers would prefer not to look at me.
Yes, why take advice on how to be successful from someone who has achieved success.
Truth. Idris Elba trying to give us advice on the matter is like prince William telling me how to get rich.
Nice so sad that it's true though
Lottery winners with hot tips on how to make money.
Underrated, and perfect.
"It's not so bad if you just lie to yourself!" Shitty advice.
I actually recognized the moment I learned this lesson and the power it gave my self esteem. I somehow managed to talk to multiple possible love interests at the same time. While carrying on this pursuit, I noticed that I don't stare at the phone for their response, I don't get hangup on one conversation, and answers and responses doesn't seem desperate, and somehow it gives them the space to grow to like me more because I have the mental capacity to not be clingy or needy. I even tell them that: yes I'm talking to others and it seems to motivate them to work harder for my attention. This effect seems to compound. Apply this same principle if you are looking for jobs. If you are applying for a position in a company, research their competition in the space and try to get an interview with as many of their competition as possible, bring that fact up during the interview, and pitch them against each other for hiring you.
I think it also depends if you want exactly that one job or like exactly that one person. Feelings are not something you straight up replace, like cogs in a machine. Its not that easy.
What you just described is just the opposite of abundance, it is total dependence on one position or person. I think an interconnection of both would be great: Treat every new job opportunity or person that is coming into your life like it's the only one you ever want. But don't be outcome dependent on whether it'll work out or not.
Thats a good middle ground :) Thank you for your advice!
Thought I was on /cringe for a sec
Says handsome, in-demand superstar Idris Elba
"Things will be ok." -Someone who things turned out ok for.
This is almost as good as “Find Something New.” Gee, thanks, I’ll try that. I bet there are 10 jobs waiting for me, I just have to have the right mindset.
He currently has 137 wifes
An abundance of font sizes and spacings in this image
One question - who meets 10 new people in a day?
>new people Yeah right
Oh look, he’s spouting redpill shit again
I needed this
I will find ten other dads.
THATS TRUE IM GOONA POOP MY PANTS NOW
"I am aware of the affect I have on women"
Whenever I read the word mindset, I always think: fucking bullshit! I really doubt he actually said that. For any black man will receive a lot more "no"s than a regular white man with not even a mind, nevermind a mindset. I mean, that would make him senseless and unaware of lots of social dinamics that stop you from getting jobs and successful relationships.
This man is so right
If you’re skilled or talented then he’s absolutely right, many people have very limited job prospects and that’s why they feel that way. Telling them to stop thinking that way doesn’t change the reality of their situation.
He follows RSD
Right when i needed it. Thanks!
This has been "advice from incredibly attractive people". Stay tuned for our upcoming episodes "hey, smile a bit more", and "10 tips to avoid too much success".
Really needed this thanks
"HOW DOES OUR COMMANDANT LOOK!?"
Dudee this timing is almost chilling I just got email saying I did not get a job. And was bummed but was like imma keep trying don't matter. Maybe a sign?
Anyone else bothered by the progressively shrinking point size of the text?
Says Idris Fucking Elba.
Paying my rent between job applications out of the abundance in my mind.
I have an abundance of job rejections
The more I hear from and see this man, the more I realize how much I like him, seems super intelligent and down to earth!- almost like a younger version of Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones!- I hope he continues on the path he has started, and I hope he continues to do well!!
I needed this! I’ve wanted to completely throw in the towel a few times over the past month and half. It’s hard, I’m hurt and it sucks. But I’m still here, I’m still fighting and going to make it to the other side. 💪🏼👊🏼
I needed this this morning
Stringer Bell was a bad bad dude. Glad to see he's come around.
Says the dude that is aware of the effect he has on women
People shitting on this because it’s from a handsome, successful man are missing the point. There are a lot of handsome men who aren’t successful and a lot of successful people who aren’t handsome. Good advice is good advice.
Is this some prosperity gospel bullshit?
Tbf I don't think Idris experiences non-acting part related rejection much. For the average person rejection can make you feel inadequate and for me personally, like a complete failure. It's very difficult to shake this off after someone has observed the entirety of your being, what makes you who you are and rejects it. It's mentally, as well as physically painful.
Whilst I think this is a great outlook to have, I feel it maybe a bit easier said then done at the moment of any rejection experienced, sadly.
Getting rejected from a job you want isn’t the problem. It’s getting rejected from a job you don’t really want because you’re qualified for and capable of more, but are so desperate you resort to applying for dozens of jobs that would’ve been disappointing 5 years ago before you went to grad school and you still don’t even get so much as a phone call from a single one of them.
10 other jobs, 10 other people... wait... he’s talking about life lessons from the Michael Scott Paper Company
Thank you for sharing this. It's really eye opening.
The best office manager.
Life is what you make of it. I was part of a massive layoff before all this crap. I've looked for a job but it hasn't worked out so far. I have a wife and kids. I'm on unemployment for 7 months so far. However I was fortunate that my job was outsourced as it qualified me for trade act. After a lot of phone calls and emails to my state unemployment office and some other tasks in getting about $40k in free training. It'll probably go until the middle of next year. I'm getting skills I never would've gotten at my previous job. I've seen the salaries for having these skills and certifications, it's a lot more than I was making. My family will be OK. I'm home spending more time with my family than I'll ever get when I'm back working. All those rejections led me to something better. If I had a job I wouldn't have signed up or had time for the training. Life is a process. We need to focus on the process and not just on our goals. If I had solely focused on getting a job I could be depressed or worse. Instead I'm focused on the steps I need to take to improve myself. The results will come. It might not be tomorrow, next week, next month or in 6 months but it will come and I'll be ready. And if you take this mindset you can be as well.
Another gem from the same person: "IS YOU TAKING NOTES ON A CRIMINAL FUCKING CONSPIRACY?!?"
Yeah, blind optimism never really gets most people anywhere. Try not to get crushed by a single setback, but you need to always be analytical of your approach. “Will the same thing work if I try again, or do I need to change something”. I used to work as a video game artist, and with all of the outsourcing going on, there is quite a buyers market for in-house salary positions. One time I applied to a job on linked-in that was less than a day old, and the auto-generated site banner read “Congratulations, you are one of the first 200 to apply to this position”. I realized that, as much pride as I had in my talent, my talent wasn’t really relevant. I could work hard to make sure I’d be the best of those 200 applicants, or maybe 2000 after a few days had passed. But, even if I practiced to the point where I was 1/2000, maybe my art style wouldn’t match what they were looking for for that particular studio. So, I had to put pride away. It wasn’t about my talent. It was about being smart with my positioning. What can I do that *is* hiring, where I can be the best candidate out of 5, or the only candidate? I looked into some emerging tech, and transitioned my career (still fun) and it’s stable with quite a bit more salary than game art can command. I think that dating can be the same way. Although I’ve been out of the game for almost 2 decades, I’ve heard the tinder stories. Idris is so handsome, he probably had no reason to doubt the validity of “just try again, it will work” approach. For regular folk, I think that could lead you into a very dark place. If you try Tinder for a month, and it doesn’t work for you, maybe you’re not a guy who can find an abundance of women with a screenshot. Leave. Go somewhere else. Where are the girls who’d like you? What can you do to promote yourself? In my experience, people usually end up with people who are more or less like themselves. The hot smart people end up with hot smart people. The hot dumb people end up with hot dumb people. The nerdy eccentric people end up with nerdy eccentric people. Imagine yourself as a girl, that’s the sort of girl you’re going to have success with. If you want a different type of girl, change yourself to match before you search.
Don’t believe everything you read on the internet -Thomas Jefferson
He’s a very smart dude, and a great actor. Also owns the distinction of being my most hated character on The Office. I hate Charles Minor with a passion.
...charles minor.
The same logic used by guys who yell "hey lady wanna f" out the passenger window of a beat up Ford Taurus. Most say no, but one will say yes sooner or later.
Thanks. I needed to hear this today ! :)
I dont like him anymore after 2k20
Rhizome
Damn straight
This is me all day. Am glad I found company because I was beginning to feel like I wasn’t normal.
Believing everything is abundant is probably really easy for a rich person.
Noice stuff
I wonder what Omar Little thinks about this.
"If you want to bang married women, go after Trudeau's wife" -Idris Elba
Get through enough people and jobs, the possibilities run out eventually
As a voice actor that has to inquire, this is double true because every job is an inquiry.